Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
(1 Peter 3:7)
1/ How the Lord would have husbands and wives to walk with each other
2/ The relationship between Christ the bridegroom and his bride the Church
3/ Comfort the church can draw from the type as she acknowledges she is the weaker vessel
Part of a series on the illustration of a vessel in scripture.
Sermon Transcript
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Seeking for the help of the Lord,
I direct your prayer for attention to 1 Peter chapter 3, and reading
from our text, verse 7. Verse 7. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell
with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife as
unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace
of life, that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 3 and verse
7. I am not going to open up, as
it were, all the verse. We continue this evening with
the series on the illustration of a vessel in Scripture. And we have in our text here,
giving honour unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel. and it is the weaker vessel on
it. And this chapter, and also that
which we read in Ephesians, it teaches the duty of wives and
husbands. God's order that is offensive
today and easy, the church can draw back from it, or perhaps
be ashamed of it, or to set it forth but is clearly set forth
in the scriptures, and it's good for us to acknowledge how God
would have us to walk together, how he made us, what his plan
is for a husband and a wife, and how they are to walk together. And this especially is because
it is a type of Christ and His Church. Christ the Heavenly Bridegroom,
His Church, His Bride. We've read of it, we've sung
of it. And wherever we destroy the type
or undermine the type, then it takes away the benefit and the
blessing to the Church of God. is what the truth and what the
teaching is that comes through that time. It is marred. And so especially the thought
here with the wife as being the weaker vessel, the Church of
God as being acknowledged by the Church, as being a weak vessel
or a weaker vessel, And when we look at what is set forth,
how a husband should treat a wife specifically, because she is
said to be the weaker vessel, that will afford great comfort
and help to the Church of God to realise that. Also, it brings
about an obligation on a husband especially to emulate Christ
and to walk in such a way that it's not hard for the wife to
act as she should do in submission and in obedience to her husband. Now I want then this evening
first of all to just reaffirm how the Lord would have husbands
and wives to walk with each other. not in great detail, but a general
affirmation of what we have had set before us in the reading
of God's Word. And then secondly, that relationship
of Christ, the Bridegroom, and His Bride, the Church, to remind
us of what a prominent place that has in Scripture how it
is, the way that the Lord has chosen to set forth not just
a relationship between two people, a man and a woman in a marriage
bond, but himself and his church. And then lastly, and this is
the main part really, and that is the comfort from the tight
for the church, a weaker vessel, what we may consider in that,
that is to be a help to us as the church of God. But firstly, how the Lord would
have husbands and wives to walk together. In the chapter where
our text is, we have set before us first the idea of subjection,
something again that the world will find very offensive, that
a wife should be in subjection to her own husband, and yet it
is taught here in Peter's epistle and in Paul's epistle to the
Ephesians, the passage that we read, again it is set forth there
in verse 22 where we began, wives submit yourselves unto your own
husbands as unto the Lord and The example given from those
who've gone before us in verse 5 of the third chapter of 1 Peter. For after this manner in the
old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves
being in subjection unto their own husbands. This is one of the main things
that is set before us in the relationship or how the wife
should act towards a husband. And it is that she should reverence
her husband or obey him in everything. And the reasons are given through,
and we'll come to this in a moment, with the teaching concerning
Christ. But it's given to us that the
reason is because Christ gives us the example and how the church
is to walk. But then we have with the husband,
and in Ephesians 5, We have, for the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. And we have
headship set forth. The sad thing when the husband
will not take the lead, will not take the headship, then it
makes it very hard for the wife to be submissive or to take a
submissive role when the husband is not performing his part of
it. And so, very much especially
in Ephesians, it is very high standard that's set forth for
the husband that he should be trying to emulate Christ. And especially as in love and
loving their wives, in verse 25, Ephesians 5, husbands, love
your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself
for it. And so really in this first point,
I just wanted to affirm as in the scriptures, not going into
any depth or actually what is involved, in the submission or
in the headship, but in a marriage union where God has put an order
and directions to the husband and to the wife. They are both
one in the Lord. They are both chosen in Christ. They both share in the covenant
and in every blessing. through our Lord Jesus Christ,
but the order is set before us. And I especially think of that
with the husband, that he is to love his wife as his own body. Never man yet hated his own body. And that gives us some idea what
it means about subjection, and being submissive because it's
to be submissive and subjection to one that is showing that love
and care over the wife. The sad thing is today there's
the thought of equality, there's the thought of it being offensive,
that the wife is spoken of as being weaker than the man, In
our text, a weaker vessel. We've explained before in this
series what we mean by a vessel. The people of God as vessels,
vessels of mercy, having treasure in earthen vessels that the excellency
of the power might be of God and not of us. A vessel is something
that is used to hold something and to carry something. And here is spoken of as the
wife, a vessel. The husband's a vessel, but the
wife, a weaker vessel. I know we can, in a natural way,
you can get women that are much stronger physically and mentally
than men. And yet if we were to take sport
for example, which is so much in the news and has been recently,
where men and women are training to get to the peak of their ability
and fitness. So it's not a comparison between
someone who is trained and someone who hasn't, someone who's not
fit and someone who is fit. It's a comparison between those
that are athletes that are in their field on their peak. And what has been so much emphasized
again and again is that a man is much stronger. They can outpace
a woman in swimming, in running, in lifting, in whatever it is,
and it's caused much concern in the sporting world that those
that, with a man's body, make out that they are a woman, and
the women that are competing say we cannot compete with a
person that actually has a man's body. It's a much stronger body. And so even in a medical way,
a way that the unregenerate world will recognise there is a weaker
vessel in the woman. For the Church of God, and it's
emphasised here that it's in verse 5 of where our text is,
it is the holy women also who trusted in God. And I hope it is wherever we
are, where we truly trust in God, that we are listening and
desiring to know God's will through his word and not through the
current trends and way that the world looks at things. And so it is with This thought
then, I would move to the next point, which is the relationship
of Christ, the bridegroom, and his church. It is especially
in our first reading that this, in Ephesians 5, is reaffirmed
again and again. And we have in verse, if we look
from verse 23, it is, for the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior
for the body. Immediately we are comparing,
we are putting this, here is the church and Christ. Therefore,
as the church, is subject unto Christ, so that the wives be
subject to their own husbands in everything. And again, it
is the church and Christ and the type of the wives and their
own husbands. And I'd emphasize that, not to
someone else's husband, their own husbands. And then we have
the reason Christ deals with his church, why he's given himself
for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing
of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a
glorious church. And then applied from that, so
ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. And then
in verse 29, No man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth
and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church." All the time
there's that referring back to the type and back to Christ and
the Church. Sometimes using Christ and the
Church as an incentive and a direction as to how we should walk, whether
as a wife or as a husband, and sometimes making it to be the
relationship between a husband and wife to illustrate and show
the Church and what Christ is to the Church. And the Apostle
says in verse 32 that this is a great mystery, but I speak
concerning Christ and the Church. If there was any doubt about
the Apostle's aim throughout this passage, is cleared up here,
not something we would reason through or say is not a mystery. He says it is not only a mystery,
but a great mystery. I believe I could say this, that
the whole of the Word of God in all of the relationships between
men and women, all of the teaching right through the scriptures
with the nations, Whatever it is, there is an aim always to
be teaching concerning Christ and His Church, the Lord's purposes
and directions. And very often, veiled between
some obscure commandments, there is a deeper meaning and a meaning
that is pointing to the people of God. You think of how the
apostle says regarding the law concerning oxen, thou shalt not
muzzle the ox that treadeth out the corn. And he takes that and
he asks the question, doth God care for oxen? Or saith he not
altogether for our own sakes that they that labour in the
word, that they be partakers of that word or partakers of
carnal things be supported through the ministry. And he applies
it in that way. Without the scriptures, may we
be reminded, all the scriptures from Genesis to Revelation is
the inspired, infallible word of God. Breathe out by God. We're not talking about, well,
this is what Paul says, and this is what Peter says, and we don't
need to obey that or take any notices of it. No, it is all
of God's revealed will and teaching, and we should always be looking,
what is the Lord teaching us of the heavenly things? What is he teaching us of those
things that are types, illustrate to us heavenly eternal things. And so it is this thought that
I want to reaffirm before going into the comforts of the type
of the church as a weaker vessel. Perhaps another chapter or another
book that so illustrates the Church is the Song of Solomon,
which right the way through the Song of Solomon, we have the
bridegroom and the bride that is speaking, and the care of
the bridegroom over his bride. We have in chapter four, Behold
thou art fair, my love, behold thou art fair, thou hast dove's
eyes within thy locks. And the Lord is speaking, of
his church and what he sees in her and what he views in her
and so many times through the Song of Solomon we mustn't lose
sight of the teaching of Christ and his church. We sung of it in a way the a
beautiful time in the last chapter of that book where the church
is coming up out of the wilderness and it is she is leaning upon
her beloved and it's a blessed thing where we do lean upon the
Lord Jesus Christ. I want to look then Thirdly,
at the comforts and the blessing that if we are humbled enough
to acknowledge that we are weak, we are a weak vessel, and yet
in that weakness there is blessing and there is comfort in it. And especially in the Words of
our text. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell
with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife as
unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace
of life, that your prayers be not hindered. The honour that
Christ bestows upon the church. What a thought is that! Though she is a weak vessel,
a weaker vessel, the Lord bestows honour upon her. In our text it says, dwell with
them. According to knowledge, Christ
dwells with his church. or another way of rendering it
would be standing beside the church, taking place as the head
of the church, dwelling with them as the head, not like as
it were with the husband who's not with the wife, he's not nigh
at hand, He cannot perform what is needed, no, where two or three
are gathered together, in my name, there am I in the midst,
though I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.
And you find Christ as a bridegroom dwelling, dwelling as their head,
dwelling with the Church of God. Now it says here in this text
as well, according to knowledge. Another way of translating that
word is according to understanding. One of the things that is a challenge
for any marriage is for the husband to understand the wife and the
wife to understand the husband and to understand those things
about them. that would regulate how a husband
deals with his wife. We might say knowing the weaker
vessel. If the husband really knows and
understands his wife, then he understands her limitations,
her weaknesses, what she can do, what she has strength to
do, what she has endurance to do, what she can be expected
to do. and not expect to do what she
doesn't have strength and ability or stamina to be able to do. And when we think of that, if
a husband seeks to understand and know wife in that way, how
much more does Christ understand and know the limitations of his
people? When our Lord was on earth, He
says, I have many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear
them now. How did he know that? He understood. He understands. He knoweth our
frame. He remembereth that we are but
dust. And so he doesn't put on us that
which we cannot do. Sometimes, as a husband, we might
require more than a wife could do. And they might say, look,
I cannot do that. I cannot walk that distance.
I cannot go on from day to day and continue in that way. And
we need to be reminded that the Lord knows exactly what the church
can do and what she can't do. And so it is knowing the Lord
knows his people and dwells with them according to knowledge. He knows as well their proneness
to temptation. We think of how in the scriptures
we're reminded, and it's one reason, that the woman is not
to usurp authority over the man, especially in the church. It's
said that Adam was first formed, then Eve, and Eve was in the
transgression, being tempted, and not Adam. the husband may realize that
the wife is more liable to be tempted or drawn aside. Certainly,
Satan chose Eve to come with his temptation, not Adam, undermining
that headship. And so, with the weaker vessel,
the Lord knows that. He knows what his people... The
Lord knew, Peter says, that all men forsake thee yet will not
I. But the Lord knew, he said, before
that the cock crowed twice, thou shalt deny me thrice. And that
came to pass. And we may say, here is the Lord
knowing that weak a vessel and telling him what shall happen,
telling him his weakness, though he doesn't acknowledge it or
realize it is so. that is to be a comfort to us. He will not suffer you to be
tempted above that which you are able, but will with the temptation
make a way of escape that you be able to bear it. The idea with the weaker vessel
is that they don't have as much strength. And the Church of God
is often spoken of as having a little strength. We think of
that word, power, belongeth unto God. Not by might, nor by power,
but by my Spirit, saith the Lord. And the comfort of the Church
of God is that though she does not have strength, though she
is weak, yet her heavenly bridegroom her Saviour, her Redeemer is
strong. And you know, it's when that
we reject this idea of being a weaker vessel, that then we
lose that comfort. We lose the strength in Christ. We would go launch out alone
and say that we do not need the Lord's help. We do not need his
strength. We're like Peter, though all
men forsake thee, yet will not I. and we learn it the hard way. But what a comfort if we do view
the church and view ourselves as part of it as being the weaker
vessel. Another aspect is in the weaker
vessel may be more easily hurt. The Lord has given a woman, especially
with motherhood, a real tenderness for her child. And he uses that
illustration, you know, can a woman forget her sucking child? Yea, they may forget, yet will
I not forget thee? I've graven thee upon the palms
of my hands, thy walls are ever before me. And the Lord knows
the tenderness, and a good husband will know also that his wife
is more likely to be hurt, wounded with words, wounded with things,
than he is, because the Lord has made her tender towards her
children. But the church, as a weaker vessel,
how easy we can get discouraged, how easy we can be cast down. how easy we can melt away when
men rise up against us, when things are said, when things
are done, we soon feel it. But the Lord, he knows, and he
knows how to deal and to balance these things for us and to help
us when we feel so easily wounded. Dear Job, he says of his friends,
miserable comforters are ye all, but the Lord was his stay and
comforter and helper and how we need that as well. We think of a husband that would view his
wife in her weakness as a weaker vessel, but he doesn't despise
her for it. And the Lord does not despise
His Church. He doesn't look upon her, though
she be weak, though she be in need of Him in every way, He
doesn't despise her. He speaks well of her. We mentioned of Song of Solomon,
thou art all Fair my love, there is no spot in thee. He's viewing
the church of God in what he has made her and bestowed upon
her with his righteousness and how he has wrought for her. Husbands, love your wives even
as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. And so he speaks then well of
her, he respects her, and he tends to her needs, whether it
be love or communion, for food, for clothing, whatever it is
that the wife needs. The husband should be the provider,
the protector, The one who at the last decisions that are made,
the responsibility rests with him. No husband that loves his
wife will say, well, I'm doing something this way if he knows
full well the wife doesn't want it to be done that way and will
be grieved and upset if it's done that way. And yet when the Decision is made
of which way to go. The responsibility is his. He can't turn around and say,
well, I did this because of you and to satisfy you, and now look
what a mess is made of it. He must take responsibility for
deciding which way to go. And the Lord is, he takes responsibility
for his church. I will instruct thee and teach
thee in the way which thou shalt go. I will guide thee with mine
eye. The Lord knows the need of his
people. We only see but what happens
in a day. The Lord sees that which is from
eternity to eternity and his plans and his directions for
his people from a far longer and deeper knowledge than what
his people have. And may we think of this idea
of the church being a weak vessel and really her strength is recognising
her weakness. Her strength is realising that
her Redeemer and her Saviour knows her weakness, and that
the blessings that He sets forth in the Word and the promises
and encouragements are all suited to exactly as we are. What good would it be if we had
guidance, instructions, directions in the Word of God that took
no account that we were sinners, that we were creatures of the
day, of our poor finite minds, if He took no account of our
personalities, individual members of the Church of God. But He
does, and we see it with the disciples, We see the Lord managing
them, dealing with them, and he does with all of his church. So may the Lord preserve us from
destroying a type that is a beautiful type and a type that will give
us much comfort, especially when we feel our weakness, to know
the Lord does remember our frame. And when we see Him dealing with
us as a heavenly bridegroom, and He deals with us with understanding
and with knowledge, then it's a sweet token and a sweet evidence
that the Lord is our God and He is our heavenly bridegroom.
And He is dealing with us according to the pattern that He's put
in His Word of a husband and a wife. Again, it would be a
sad thing if the Church of God, the individual members of it,
would be able to look at their lives and say, I never see any
type, any indication, the Lord is to me the husband that's set
forth in Ephesians 5. But it would be a great comfort
and blessing if we can say yes. I have seen it. I have seen it
in my life. I have noticed how the Lord has
not dealt with me as my sins deserved, that he has been long-suffering
and forbearing, that he has regarded my weakness, and that he has
given me helps and strengths, and that he's been to me as that
heavenly bridegroom Likewise ye husbands, dwell with
them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife as
unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace
of life. You think of that as Christ and
the Church. The Lord saying and praying,
Father, I will that they whom thou has given me be with me
where I am, that they may behold my glory. He is their inheritance. They are his inheritance. They are heirs together. They
are to be united together. And what a difference in strength,
you might say. In that marriage, what a, you
might say incompatible, God who is so full of strength and might
and of power and his church. But he gives strength and might
unto the weak and unto the feeble. He strengthens his people. Our
help is in the name of the Lord, which made heaven and earth. is our God. He will be our guide,
even unto death. May the Lord bless this word
and these few remarks to us this evening. Amen.
About Rowland Wheatley
Pastor Rowland Wheatley was called to the Gospel Ministry in Melbourne, Australia in 1993. He returned to his native England and has been Pastor of The Strict Baptist Chapel, St David’s Bridge Cranbrook, England since 1998.
He and his wife Hilary are blessed with two children, Esther and Tom.
Esther and her husband Jacob are members of the Berean Bible Church Queensland, Australia. Tom is an elder at Emmanuel Church Salisbury, England. He and his wife Pauline have 4 children, Savannah, Flynn, Willow and Gus.
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