Colossians chapter three. I was gonna look at this all
together, but I'm gonna just take them one at a time. Today
we have a word to husband and wife. Colossians three, we'll
begin in verse 17. And whatsoever you do in word
or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks
to God and the Father by Him. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your
wives and be not bitter against them. This is the epistle where
we're told that the Lord Jesus created all things that it's
by him that all things consist, and that he created all things
for his glory. He created all things to glorify
him. Look back at Colossians 1. We're
told here in verse 14, in Christ we have the redemption through
his blood, even the forgiveness of sins, who is the image of
the invisible God the firstborn of every creature. For by him
were all things created that are in heaven and that are in
earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones or dominions,
authority or principalities or powers, all in a position of
authority. All things were created by him
and for him, for his glory. And he is before all things,
and by him all things consist. And he is the head of the church,
the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn
from the dead, that in all he might have the preeminence. For it pleased the Father that
in him should all fullness dwell. The Holy Spirit teaches his elect
that the Lord Jesus created these offices, these relationships,
like father and wife, father and child, master and servant. The Lord created these offices,
these positions, relationships, whatever you wanna call it, but
he created this for his glory, to glorify him. And it's his
glory, it's him making us behold him that constrains us in our
heart to do these things that he says. Verse 22, the second
part, we do it not with eye service as men pleasers, but in singleness
of heart, fearing God. Colossians 3.23, and whatsoever
you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not unto men. knowing
that of the Lord you shall receive the reward. What's the reward?
The inheritance. And even now, you know, it's
the Lord that's gonna make the way for you in this world. He's
gonna give you the promotion. He's gonna give you the increase
in salary. He's gonna make the way, even
now, for you serve the Lord Christ. So we're gonna look at this in
regards to the husband and the wife. Now, first of all, the
Lord Jesus is the husband of his church, his bride. He is
the husband of the church. The church is his bride. We read
here, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as is
fit in the Lord. And we read, husbands, love your
wives and be not bitter against them. Christ created this union,
this union, relationship of husband and wife to glorify Christ. He's
the husband. His bride is, his church is the
bride. Now, this is how we're constrained. The believing husband and wife
are constrained in heart by the spirit of God beholding Christ,
beholding his love for us. This is what's gonna make us
serve the Lord, not from a legal fear or a legal motive, because
you know you serve the Lord. You're doing it as unto the Lord.
Every sanctified believer, every one of us that's been called
by God, we're in an arranged marriage. We are in an arranged
marriage. In eternity before he created
the world, God the Father chose whom he would save by grace and
he betrothed us, he espoused us to his son, the Lord Jesus,
to be his bride. And that was legally binding
in eternity. We became the bride of Christ
in eternity. Let's go to Hosea, and we're
gonna, I want you to mark Hosea, we're gonna come back here. But
here's what Christ agreed to in eternity. Hosea 2, 19. This is, as it were, this is
the vows of our Lord, our husband, these are his vows. concerning
his bride. He said, verse 19, I will betroth
thee, that's an old English word that we would use for like engage,
to be engaged, but this is more legal binding than that. I will
betroth thee unto me forever. Yea, I will betroth thee unto
me in righteousness and in judgment, and in loving kindness and in
mercies. I will even betroth thee unto
me in faithfulness, and thou shalt know the Lord. You know,
that is essentially saying that the Lord will be faithful to
us and provide everything his people need, his bride needs,
to be accepted of God for eternity. He will provide everything. if
we never do one thing right. And you know, when you vow, when
you're in your marriage vows, that's what you vowed before
God. When you said for better or worse,
sickness and health, all, you know, you're saying if the, if
my spouse does nothing right, I vow to be with them until the
Lord takes me home. I'll be with him until death.
And that's what Christ vowed to do for his people. Now, secondly,
the Lord never puts away his bride. He hates putting away. He never will divorce his bride
ever. Never. Even when we have sinned
against him, he never will. I am persuaded that the Apostle
Paul had been married. I say that because he said he
was a Pharisee of Pharisees, and to the Jews, if a man had
not married by the age of 20, they considered him disobeying
God. God said, be fruitful and multiply,
and they considered it disobedience if a man had not married and
begun to propagate the race. But even above that, in Acts
26, Paul said, when the Sanhedrin voted to put to death Christians,
he said, I voted to do it. I put my voice to it. And that
was the Supreme Court among the Jews in religious matters, the
Sanhedrin. And to be a member of the Sanhedrin,
you had to be married. I personally believe Paul was
the rich young ruler. He said, I thought I was alive
by the law, just like the rich young ruler. He said, but when
the commandment came, sin revived and I died. What commandment? The Lord told the rich young
ruler, sell everything you have, give it to the poor and follow
me. And he went away sad because he had much possession. Paul
said, I would not have known lust except the law had said,
thou shalt not covet. But to be a ruler, he would have
had to have been married. And either his wife died or,
more than likely, when the Lord saved him and didn't save her,
she departed. He put himself in the number
when he said to the unmarried and widows. Unmarried are those
who never married at all. The unmarried are those who have
been married, whose spouse departed. And widows are those, you know
what a widow is. And he put himself in that number.
So one of those was the case. But you may not agree with that,
but I'll go higher than that. Our Lord Jesus Christ has suffered
his bride departing from him. He suffered his bride putting
him away. He was betrothed to us and it
betrothed us to himself from eternity. And when we sinned
in Adam, we played the harlot. We committed spiritual fornication,
adultery against the Lord. We broke the whole law of God. And even after he called us and
saved us, every sin, every sin, is spiritual fornication, is
spiritual adultery. And yet our Lord Jesus never
put us away and will never put away those he has everlastingly
loved. And that's what the Lord showed
us in Hosea. Go to Hosea. Christ our husband
loved his bride, and we see it here pictured in the book of
Hosea. Hosea typifies Christ. Hosea means savior. And here's
what the Lord said. Here's what the Lord said to
Hosea, verse two. The Lord said to Hosea, go, take
unto thee a wife of whoredoms and children of whoredoms, for
the land hath committed great whoredom departing from the Lord.
So he went and took Gomer, the daughter of Debalaim. And incidentally,
the Lord's prophet Hosea did this. Now you just imagine what
people thought of him when he did this. Here's the Lord's prophet. He goes to a land of whoredoms
and marries a prostitute. Gomer typifies you and me. Gomer typifies Christ's bride,
God's elect, children of whoredoms. That's what we are. Gomer bore
him three children, three children, and then she went back to her
lovers. And that's why I say, even after the Lord has called
us Our sin is spiritual adultery, and yet Gomer, Hosea, he secretly
provided all her needs. He laid everything at her doorstep
that she needed, and she praised her lovers and her idols and
used the things he gave her to worship a false god, and that's
us. The whole time we were lost,
our Lord provided everything for us, and we used it to pat
ourselves on the back and exalt ourselves and worship our vain
idols. But there came a time when the
Lord made Gomer see her sin, and there came a time when the
Lord made us see our sin, and he still does this for us. He
made us see our religion was vain. Look there in verse nine,
Hosea 2, 9, he says, Therefore will I return and take
away my corn in the time thereof, and my wine in the season thereof,
and will recover my wool and my flax given to cover her nakedness. And now will I discover her lewdness
in the sight of her lovers, and none shall deliver her out of
mine hand. I will also cause all her mirth
to cease, her religion, her feast days, her new moons, and her
Sabbath days, and all her solemn feasts. I'll destroy her vines
and her fig trees," wherein she said, "'These are my rewards
that my lovers have given me, and I'll make them a forest,
and the beasts of the field shall eat them.'" The Lord brought
Gomer to see what she was, and that's what he did for us. Gomer
was so in debt that she was put on the slave block to be sold,
and nobody would bid on her. Nobody wanted her. And just think
of where she was. She had nobody. She had lived
high there for a while, but now she's brought down. She has nothing. She sees she has nobody to love
her, nobody to do anything for her. But you know who bid on
her? You know who bought her? Hosea
did. Hosea never stopped loving her. He never stopped being her husband.
And he went and paid the price and bought her. And our Lord
Jesus never stopped loving his bride. He never wavered in his
love to us. He said, where's the bill of
your mother's divorcement whom I have put away? He said, it's
her own sin for which she departed. He said, I've not put away my
bride. He came to where his people are and he paid what we owed
to divine justice. He laid down his life and suffered
the wrath of God in our place and redeemed us and made us righteous
in himself. And he called us and he taught
us what he'd done for us. And he robed us in the garment
of his righteousness. And he gave us a new heart to
love him and submit to him and believe him. Look here. in Hosea
3.1, all of this that the Lord was doing with Hosea and Gomorrah
was to picture God's love toward his elect bride, Christ's love
for his bride, and how he saves us. He said, then said the Lord
unto me, verse one, go yet, love a woman, beloved of her friend,
yet an adulteress, according to the love of the Lord toward
the children of Israel. That's his people among Jew and
Gentile. according to the love of the
Lord toward the children of Israel who looked to other gods and
loved flagons of wine. So I bought her to me for 15
pieces of silver and for a homer of barley and a half homer of
barley. And I said unto her, thou shalt abide for me many
days, thou shalt not play the harlot, and thou shalt not be
for another man, so will I also be for thee. Our faithful husband,
laid down his life for us, brethren. He never ceases loving his bride. There's not one, not one that
God chose, that Christ vowed to save. There's not one that'll
ever be lost. They'll never perish because
our husband loved us and gave himself for us. And he's made
us know he bought us to himself. We're his. where He is, and it's
His love that constrains us in our heart to continue trusting
Him, continue faithful to Him, and it's His love where we see
that His glory in all these relationships He created to glorify Him. And
that's what makes us want to do these things from a motive
of love, knowing we've been saved by our Lord. So, go back to Colossians
3, and lastly, I want you to see In all our relationships,
it's Christ's love for us that constrains the believer's heart. That's so for husband and wife.
Verse 18, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as is fit
in the Lord. To your husband, not to your
mother's husband, to your husband. Christ loves his bride specifically,
particularly, his chosen people and his people love him alone. We submit to him alone. The Greek word translated submit
means to be under rank. It's like someone being under
another who's in authority. That's what it means. The point
here is the same as Romans 13. It says, Let every soul be subject unto
the higher powers, whoever that position of authority is, because
there is no power but of God. That's what we read in Colossians
1. Christ created all the powers that be to glorify him. There's no power but of God.
The powers that be are ordained of God. So when you read here,
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as is fit in the
Lord. As is fit in the Lord does not
mean when you think he's right or when you agree with him or
any of these emotional things. What it means is do it because
it's ordained of the Lord to glorify Christ our husband. That's
what it means. It's ordained of God to glorify
Christ our husband. It speaks to the motive of the
heart. It's saying that the motive of the heart, that which God
looks on, let the motive of the heart be a willingness to submit
and do it heartily because it's God's order, because God ordained
it to glorify Christ our husband as the church submits to Christ,
as he submits to Christ. Later, we're gonna see the Lord
has no respect of persons. And that applies to this. You
know, there could be somebody in a position of authority, the
president, half the country right now likes the president, half
the country doesn't like him. But it has nothing to do whether
you like him or not. You respect the office. God ordained
that office and put him there. And that's why you show respect
to the higher power. That's why. You do it in singleness
of heart, fearing God. You do it heartily as to the
Lord and not to men. And then the same is true of
the husband. He says in verse 19, husbands,
love your wives and be not bitter against them. Love her as Christ
loved the church and laid down his life for her. That is a tall
order, but that's our motive. Love her as Christ loved the
church and laid down his life for her. This love's not emotional. It's not the romantic love. It's
not sentimental love. It's love because you love her. It's love being committed to
her well-being. It's not because of worthiness
in her. It's not because of something
she does for you in return. It is loving her. and being committed
to her because you're motivated by how Christ is committed to
you and does everything for you. He'll never leave you, he'll
never forsake you. He laid down his life for you.
And when it says here, be not bitter against them, this helps
to define this love. Be not bitter against them. You
know, if something makes you feel justified for being harsh
toward your wife, Remember, Christ loved us, and he gave himself
for us. When we did not love him, we
didn't love him. We were the ungodly. We had no
worthiness in us for Christ to love us and lay down his life
for us. We gave him every reason to be bitter against us, and
yet he left us and laid down his life for us. Let's go to
Ephesians 5. We're given a more clear word
here. And I tell you, brethren, whatever you suffer in this world,
I'm saying to you, Christ, even if you don't agree with me about
Paul, Christ suffered his bride departing. Whatever you suffer,
Christ has suffered it. He has been through what his
children go through. He has suffered it infinitely
more than us. Spousal abuse, did we not abuse our husband?
We nailed him to a tree. you suffer, Christ has suffered
it. And he knows how to comfort you
and succor you and constrain you and keep you. He's able. Now look here, we'll read this,
Ephesians 520. This is a more full word. Ephesians 520, giving
thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the
name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourselves one to
another in the fear of God. That's the rule of Christ's whole
church. We ought to submit to one another
in the fear of God. There wouldn't be any friction
if we all submit to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit
yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband
is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the
church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their
own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the word. This is what he meant when he
said, Father, I sanctify myself that they might be sanctified
through the truth. He set himself apart and obeyed
God until the death of the cross, justifying us, making us be sanctified
in him, and he did it that he might be the gospel that we preach
by which we're sanctified and made to trust him. He says, he
loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify
and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. that he
might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having
spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and
without blemish. And that's what he accomplished.
That's what he's gonna do for all his elect bride one day.
He's gonna present us to God thoughtless. So ought men to
love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife
loveth himself, For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but
nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
they too shall be one flesh. That's why marriage exists, is
to glorify Christ love for his bride, that how one we are with
Christ. This is a great mystery, but
I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let
every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself,
and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Love is a far more
powerful and superior rule than law. It just is. Paul quoted
a secular poet, so I'm gonna quote an old song. This is an
old secular song. It can lift you up, it can put
you down. Take your world and turn it all
around. Ever since time, nothing's ever
been found stronger than love. And that's so, that's so. Now, one last word. Go with me,
1 Corinthians 7. I have been contacted by somebody
several times, more than once. With a spouse who got married,
both they and their spouse were unbelievers, and then the Lord
saved one of them, but didn't save the other. What do I do? I'm married to an unbeliever,
what do I do? The Corinthians thought it would be better if
they put away their spouse, divorced their spouse, And so this is
what the Lord is answering. God hates putting away. He'll
never put away his bride. Those he saves, he's gonna keep.
He's not gonna let us perish. The one exception is fornication,
but even in that, the Lord doesn't command you to divorce. He didn't
divorce us when we committed fornication and the times we
have repeatedly. He continues to love us and keep
us. Even if a spouse departs, The believing spouse cannot help
that. They're not bound in that case,
they're free to marry again, but the word declares we're to
seek peace, seek to be reconciled. That's the better way. Look here
in 1 Corinthians 7, 10. All of this is given right here.
It says, and unto the married I command, yet not I but the
Lord. Let not the wife depart from
her husband, But, and if she depart, let her remain unmarried,
or be reconciled to her husband. And let not the husband put away
his wife, but to the rest speak I, not the Lord. Now this is
divinely inspired. That means Christ didn't preach
this particularly when he was on the earth or give it personally
to Paul face to face, but it's the word of the Lord. Listen,
if any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased
to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which
hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to
dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband
is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified
by the husband, else were your children unclean, but now are
they holy. That doesn't mean they're saved
simply by being married to a believer, it means it's legitimate. It
means God has set them apart, united them with a believer,
God did it, so it's still a union of God and the children are legitimate
children. Verse 15, but if the unbelieving
depart, let him depart. There's nothing a spouse can
do if somebody departs, you can't stop it. If the unbelieving depart,
let him depart. A brother or a sister is not
under bondage in such cases. They're free to marry again,
But here's the better way, and here's the point I'm making.
This is always the better way. This is our gospel. But God hath
called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife,
whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether
thou shalt save thy wife? Seek to be reconciled, if at
all possible. Live in peace. Go with me one
more place. First Peter three, one. There's Peter 3.1. There's some things the Lord,
everything we learn, we know it in doctrine by the Lord's
grace, but he teaches us by experience. And these are things you learn
by experience. First Peter 3.1, likewise you wives, be in subjection
to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, They also
may, without the word, be won by the conversation of the wives. Doesn't mean that they're not
gonna be saved through the preaching of the gospel, they will. But
by being kind and gracious, they may make them wanna come to hear
the gospel with you. The Lord may use you to draw
them to hear the gospel. Verse five, while they behold
your chaste conduct coupled with fear, Who's adorning? Let it not be that outward adorning
of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold or of putting on apparel,
but let it be, let it be real. Let it be the hidden man of the
heart and that which is not corruptible. That new man born of the incorruptible
seed of God, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which
in the sight of God is of great price. For after this manner,
in the old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned
themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you
are, as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement.
Likewise, ye husbands, this goes for a husband that has an unbelieving
spouse as well. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell
with them according to knowledge, give an honor unto the wife,
as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the
grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. So, our motive
in these relationships is Christ's love for us. His love for us. We learn everything looking to
Christ. He's the righteousness, the holiness, the redemption,
our acceptance with God. We're not doing anything to try
to make ourselves righteous or holy. We do what we do because
our hearts have been turned to Christ and been given a love
for Him. And it's His great love for us
that motivates us. It motivates us. He loved us
from eternity. He laid down His life for His
people. He drew us to Himself, gave us a new heart and He's
never going to put us away. We've given Him many reasons
too but He put our sins away and He's not going to be bitter
toward His people. He bore the wrath of God for His people so
that He will not pour out wrath on us. He's going to continue
to love us to the end and never leave, never lose one. So that's
our motive, that's our motive. Next time Lord willing we'll
see the father and children, and then after that we'll see
master and servant, employee, employer, employee, supervisor,
subordinate, that sort of thing. So let's go to the Lord. Father,
thank you for trusting us to Christ, choosing
us and trusting us to our great husband. Thank you, Lord, for
creating these relationships, these offices to show us an everyday
example, an everyday picture of you. And Lord, thank you for
giving us new hearts to believe you, to trust you, to continue
following you. Lord, make us faithful. Make
your people be faithful husbands, faithful wives. And Lord, for
those that have suffered in any way in this one and a spouse
departing or going through problems of that nature, Lord, we ask
you to be merciful. We ask you to remember Christ
our Savior and be merciful and gracious to us for his sake.
And Lord, make us be merciful. make us to be long-suffering,
make us to be helpers to them. It's such a painful thing and
we don't need to pour on more, Lord. Make us lift that burden
and make us help those in need. And remember, constantly remind
one another that our gospel is the gospel of reconciliation. It's the gospel of how You reconciled
us to yourself through the blood and the righteousness of Christ.
Lord, make us seek reconciliation at all times. And forgive us
our sin and our unbelief. Forgive us, Lord, when we fall
into self-righteousness and hate putting away, so we put
away somebody. Don't let us do that, Lord. Keep
us knowing that you'll never, ever, ever put away your people.
We thank you for your grace and your mercy. In Christ's name
we pray. Amen.