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Gabe Stalnaker

Husbands Love Your Wives

Colossians 3:19
Gabe Stalnaker August, 7 2022 Video & Audio
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The sermon by Gabe Stalnaker focuses on the theological doctrine of the relationship between Christ and His Church, as reflected in the institution of marriage, specifically from Colossians 3:19. The preacher emphasizes the command for husbands to love their wives and not harbor bitterness towards them, drawing connections to the selfless and giving nature of Christ’s love for His bride, the Church. Stalnaker supports his arguments through various scripture passages, including Isaiah 54:5, Ephesians 5:25-29, and Revelation 21:2, which illustrate Christ's sacrificial love, the joy in His relationship with believers, and the call for husbands to model their love after Christ's redemptive actions. The practical significance of this sermon lies in encouraging husbands to adopt a Christ-like approach to love, fostering a marriage that mirrors the divine relationship between Christ and His Church, ultimately leading to a more harmonious and joyful partnership.

Key Quotes

“Marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His people.”

“What has Christ ever given to us expecting something in return?”

“Men, if we would like to have happy marriages, let's give and keep on giving.”

“Our relationship with our wives, that's our tangible picture of our union with Christ.”

Sermon Transcript

Auto-generated transcript • May contain errors

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Turn with me, if you would, to
Colossians chapter 3. Colossians chapter three, verse
19 will be our text, which says, husbands love your wives and
be not bitter against them. The last time we were here in
Colossians three, we looked at verse 18, which says, wives submit
yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. And
now today we're going to look at verse 19. Husbands love your
wives and be not bitter against them. Marriage is a picture of
the relationship between Christ and his people. That's what marriage
is. That's the symbol that the Lord
chose to use. The Lord is the one who ordained
marriage. And He chose that symbol to describe
what the relationship is between Christ and His bride. And it's a beautiful picture.
because it is a beautiful relationship. It is truly a beautiful relationship.
I'm going to quote some scriptures here to you that tell us about
this relationship. Just listen to these. Isaiah
54 verse 5 says, thy maker is thine husband. The Lord of hosts
is his name and thy redeemer The Holy One of Israel, the God
of the whole earth, shall He be called. That's the Lord Jesus
Christ. Our Maker, the scripture says,
all things were created by Him. The Lord of Hosts, our Redeemer,
The Holy One of Israel, this is Christ. You remember those,
even the devil said, we know who you are, the Holy One of
Israel, said that to the Lord Jesus Christ. The God of the
whole earth, Jesus Christ, the Lord. He said, that's who your
husband is. So your husband is. Listen to
this, Isaiah 62 verse 5 says, as the bridegroom rejoiceth over
the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over thee. That same emotion
of joy that a bridegroom has for his bride. That's the same
joy that God has for his people. Jesus Christ our God has for
his people. In John 3 verse 29, John the
Baptist said, he that hath the bride is the bridegroom. But
the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him,
rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice. This
my joy therefore is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must
decrease. It's all about him. It's all
about the bridegroom. 2 Corinthians 11 verse 2, Paul
said, "...I am jealous over you with godly jealousy, for I have
espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste
virgin to Christ." In Revelation 21, the angel said, "...Come
with me, and I will show you the Lamb's wife." And John said,
I saw her coming down from God out of heaven prepared as a bride
adorned for her husband. So marriage is the picture that
God has chosen to show to us, to declare to us what our union
with Christ is. Marriage. We want to know what
our union with Christ is. What will life with Christ be
like? Marriage is the picture. It is a true union. You think
about the union of marriage. It is a true oneness. And it's all because of this
right here. Our husband, the great husband, loved his wife
and he was not bitter against her. Honestly, thank God. Our husband, the husband, loved
his wife and he was not bitter against her. Isn't that wonderful? That very thing is what causes
the bride of Christ to willingly, very lovingly, submit herself
unto Him. And I would love to take all
the time we took last time to explain what submission is. But
hopefully we can remember. It is a loving, it is a willing
loving. Happy submission. Our Lord's, the husband's love
for his wife, that's what draws her to Him. His love gives to
her, and gives to her, and loves her, and loves her, and it makes
her fall in love with Him. That's what it does. So much
so, she doesn't have any choice in the matter. Her heart cannot
help but willingly submit to all of His love, and all of His
kindness, and all of His graciousness. Honestly, just think about your
own heart toward Christ. Is that not what draws us to
Him? The goodness of the Lord brings
repentance, leads us to Christ. All of His sacrifice, everything
that He has done. We talk about salvation, everything
He has done. But daily lives, look at what
He does. Just look at what He does and
look at what He's promised to do. All of that causes the bride
of Christ fall in love with him, submit to him. People say, people
will make this statement all the time. They say marriage is
a give and take relationship. Not based on the example of Christ,
it's not. His relationship to his bride
is a give and give and give and give. and give and give relationship. And if we want to learn something
about that, that is a happy marriage. That really is a happy marriage.
That is the key to a happy marriage. If anybody wants a happy marriage,
that's the key to it. That's God's example of a happy
marriage. What has Christ given to us?
expecting something in return. Let me ask that question again.
What has Christ ever given to us expecting something in return? Usually, when things are bad
between a husband and a wife, usually, when things are bad,
one of them is thinking or saying to the other one, you're going
to have to give me something here. I do all the giving in this relationship and you don't give me anything
in return. If you don't do for me what I'm
doing for you, I'm going to leave you. Thank God Christ has never said
that to us. Thank God Christ has never said
that to us. With a smile on His countenance
and love in His heart, He just keeps giving and giving and giving. What do we have? that we have
not freely, lovingly, graciously received from Him. He just keeps
giving and giving. Men, this is the honest truth. Fellas, if we would like to have
happy marriages, Let's give and keep on giving and keep on giving. And I'm not talking about money.
Money doesn't fix anything. I'm talking about heart, talking
about love, talking about affection, attention. Give and keep on giving. You say, somebody will say, yeah,
but she's a gomer. She doesn't appreciate it. She
just wastes it. She still rejects me anyway.
Try God on this. Try God on this. With a loving
heart, give kindness and give kindness and give kindness and
give kindness, and just see if that doesn't bring her to a very
happy, very willing submission to all of that love and all of
that kindness. Just see. Turn with me, if you
would, to Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5 verse 1 says, Be ye therefore followers of
God as dear children, and walk in love. Walk in love, walk in
love. As Christ also hath loved us,
and hath given himself for us, and offering and a sacrifice
to God for a sweet-smelling savor." He said, just respond to the
great love that Christ has poured out on us. The great sacrificing
love that He has absolutely poured out on us. Just respond to it.
As followers of God, as dear children, walk in love. Look
at verse 21. Ephesians 5 verse 21 says, Submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of God, wives, submit
yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Willingly respect,
willingly admire as unto the Lord. Just think
about what we feel in our own hearts concerning our Lord. Respect,
admiration. We'll follow Him. We will look
to Him. He said, Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. Follow Him. Look to
Him. Verse 23 says, For the husband
is the head of the wife. Okay, now we're getting somewhere. So the husband's in charge, right? Whatever the husband says goes,
right? It doesn't matter what she thinks.
Doesn't matter what her opinion is. She has to do what the husband
says, right? She has to submit to me. Isn't
that right? And they ask you this, honestly,
would anybody submit to that? Would anybody submit to that? I gave you an illustration of
submission last time we were here of holding a door open for
somebody. We all do that all the time. You walk into a restaurant,
two doors will get you inside. One person's like, after you,
after you, and then that person's so grateful they say, after you,
no really, after you. Would anybody submit? lovingly,
happily, willingly? Would anybody follow that and
admire that and respect that? I wouldn't. I wouldn't. That is not the kind of head
that Christ is to His bride. That is not the Lordship and
the leadership that causes her to submit to Him. Not one time
has the Lord Jesus Christ ever treated His bride that way. Not
one time has He ever spoken to His bride that way. This is how
He speaks to her. We have it recorded. He says,
I have loved you with an everlasting
love. With cords of love have I drawn
you. Demand, command, love. My desire is that you might be
with me everywhere that I am. I want you to be everywhere that
I am. I will never leave you. I'll
never leave you. All that I have I give to you. All that I have I give to you.
Think about this. Think about this. Knowing what
we know of ourselves, honestly, get honest just for a minute
here. Knowing what we know of these sinful, wicked, rebellious
selves. Knowing what we know of ourselves.
Don't you think it'd be a good idea if he would make us sign
a prenup? Really? Would you blame him for
that? This is what he said. All that
I have, I freely give it to you. All that I have. He said, when
you're scared, I'll protect you. When you're in need, I'll provide
for you. When you're sad, I'll sit right
beside you and I'll hold your hand. He said, you have ravished my
heart and I want to live with you forever. Ladies, would you have any problems
submitting to that? Submitting to love, true love. an all-sacrificing outpour of
abundant love. When He is saying, this is what
He's saying, I'll do without everything. I'll give up everything
so you can have it all. All that my Father has given
to me, all that my Father has passed down to me, that came
from my dad to me, I freely give it all to you. Would you have any problem submitting
to that? Verse 23 says, For the husband
is the head of the wife. And I want to show you two little
words. I don't know if we've ever really paid attention to
these, but oh, how greatly important these two little words are. Even
as. The husband is the head of the
wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. As the husband
is the head, here's his condition, as Christ is the head of the
church. He's the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church
is subject unto him, this is the condition of submission. As the church is subject unto
Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives. Even as, those two words, Christ
also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might
sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having
spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and
without blemish. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself." Men, honestly, do we want to know and experience a
happy marriage, happy marriages? Let's do whatever we would do
for ourselves and more for our wives. He said, that's how men
ought to love their wives. As they love their own bodies,
as they love their own bodies, he said, he that loves his wife
loves himself. And the reason is because they
really have been made to be one. They really are one. One body, one flesh. Verse 29
says, For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth
and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. That's exactly
what the Lord did for the church. He nourished it. He cherished
it. Verse 30 says, For we are members
of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Do we know why? When our Lord died on the cross,
not one bone in His body was broken. Do we know why? It was
prophesied that not one bone in His body was broken. And that
soldier came up and was going to break the leg. He broke the
other legs, on the right and left. He was going to break the
leg to just make sure that He was dead. And he looked and he
said, He's dead. So instead of doing that, he ran a spear into
His side. Do we know why not one bone in
his body was broken? It's because he was broken for
his bones. That's the whole reason why.
This is what he said. You can press thorns into my
head. Spit in my face, punch, beat,
curse my face. You can have my face. You can strike and slash and
whip and just rip to shreds my back. You can run nails through
my hands, nails through my feet. You can run a spear in my side,
but you're not touching my bones. You're not touching my bones.
We have been made to be bone of His bone. The whole point of Him hanging
on that cross was so that He could be broken instead of His
bones. Verse 31 says, For this cause
shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined
unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh, This is a great
mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless,
let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself,
and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Do we need any more
than the picture of Christ and his bride to have a willing desire
to obey that? Doesn't that create something
in us for our spouses? Wives to husbands, husbands to
wives? May God put that kind of love
in us. Fellas, this week is husbands. Love your wives, don't be bitter
against them. Christ cherishes, and think about
this, Christ cherishes His own bride. When bitterness sets in,
you'll cherish everybody else but your own bride. It's just
the honest truth. That's the sinful nature of man.
Christ cherishes His own bride. May God put that kind of love
in us. May he allow us the privilege
of truly cherishing our wives. Fellas, ask the Lord to put that
love in you. Lord, would you put a love in
me that cherishes the wife you've given me? Our relationship with
our wives, that's our tangible picture of our union with Christ.
And our prayer is that the one union will reflect the other
union. That's our prayer. Ask Him. Let's all ask Him. I
want to ask Him, Lord, put a love in me for her. I have actually heard men say,
I'm going to leave you with this. I've heard this with my own two
ears. I have heard men say, if you treat your wife like that,
she will walk all over you. You ever heard anybody say that?
If you treat your wife like that, that woman will walk all over
you. All right, well, that's how Christ
has treated us. Do we have a desire to walk all
over Him? Is that what that all-sacrificing
love has produced in us? Just a desire to absolutely walk
all over Him? God forbid. Absolutely not. That is wrong. That is not what
that produces. That is not what that produces
at all. Men, if God will give us a heart
and an ability to treat our wives like Christ has treated us, we'll
have a mirror image marriage and relationship with our wives
that Christ's bride has with him. May God give it to us. It's a beautiful thing. It's
a precious thing. May God teach us and may he give
that to us. All right, you're dismissed.
Gabe Stalnaker
About Gabe Stalnaker
Gabe Stalnaker is the pastor of the Kingsport Sovereign Grace Church located at 2709 Rock Springs Rd, Kingsport, Tennessee 37664. You may contact him by phone at (423) 723-8103 or e-mail at gabestalnaker@hotmail.com

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