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Gabe Stalnaker

Wives, Submit Yourselves

Colossians 3:18
Gabe Stalnaker July, 17 2022 Video & Audio
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In the sermon "Wives, Submit Yourselves," Gabe Stalnaker addresses the doctrine of submission within the context of marital and spiritual relationships, particularly focusing on Colossians 3:18. He emphasizes that the instruction for wives to submit is not a demand for conformity but a loving response to Christ’s lordship and the divine structure of authority. Stalnaker systematically dismantles common misconceptions about obedience related to salvation, arguing that salvation is by grace alone and is evidenced by faith, not by works. He supports his assertions with Scripture references, including Romans 3:28 and the illustration of the publican and the Pharisee, highlighting that true submission is an expression of love and a reflection of the believer's relationship with Christ. The practical significance of this sermon lies in its call for believers to willingly submit to God's commands as an act of love, desiring to please Him rather than viewing obedience as a means to earn salvation.

Key Quotes

“Submission is an inner desire that comes from adoration and respect and love. It is a loving want to.”

“We do not need to obey God's law in order to be saved. Salvation is not earned. It is freely given.”

“If good works and obedience was the evidence of salvation... the publican should have gone to hell.”

“Let’s make a conscious, loving effort to treat each other in that certain way.”

Sermon Transcript

Auto-generated transcript • May contain errors

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Amen. Turn with me, if you would, to
Colossians chapter 3. Colossians chapter three, continuing
in our study through Colossians. Let's read verses 18 and 19. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your
wives and be not bitter against them. Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands as it's fit in the Lord. Husbands, love
your wives and be not bitter against them. I was going to
title this Bible study, A Happy Marriage. That's what I was going
to title this. This is a word to wives and a
word to husbands. but I felt strongly led to say
some things that didn't allow me to get past verse 18. I kept
trying to move on and get into the relationship of a husband
and a wife, and the Lord just very, very strongly laid some
things on my heart. So I wanna look at our spiritual
marriage today. And if the Lord is willing, we
will apply this to our physical marriages next time we're here.
If the Lord would have me to bring a Bible study on that,
we'll look at it next time we're here. This is what I want us
to understand today. The Apostle Paul is instructing
us here in Colossians, and especially chapter three, on how we ought
to live in this world. That's what he's instructing
us on. How we ought to act and how we ought to be as God's people
and followers of Christ. Verse 1 says, we've been in Colossians
3 for a little while, and just to recap, verse 1 says, if you
then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above
where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection
on things above, not on things on the earth, for you're dead
and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ who is our
life shall appear, then shall you also appear with him in glory. He's saying Christ is coming
to get his people and we're gonna be forever with him in glory,
in a sinless state. So verse five, he said, mortify
or kill your members which are upon the earth. Fornication,
uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, covetousness,
which is idolatry, and we went through all of these and gave
the meanings of all these words. For which things sake the wrath
of God cometh on the children of disobedience? Verse 7 says,
And the witch, you also walked sometime when you lived in them,
But now ye also put off all these, anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy,
filthy communication out of your mouth." He's clearly telling
us this is what God's people ought to be. This is what God's
people are going to be. Verse 9, He said, Seeing you've put off the old
man with his deeds and have put on the new man, which is renewed
in knowledge after the image of him that created him, where
there's neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision or uncircumcision,
barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free, but Christ is all and in
all. Verse 12, he said, put on therefore
as the elect of God. He said, you are the elect of
God, God's chosen people. Put on therefore is the elect
of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness
of mind, meekness, long-suffering, that's patience. Forbearing one
another and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against
any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all
these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfectness. And
let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also
you are called in one body, and be ye thankful. Let the word
of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing
one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing
with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever you
do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving
thanks to God and the Father by him. Now, verse 18, he says,
wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit
in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and
be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in
all things, for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke
not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Servants,
obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with
eye service as men-pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing
God. And whatsoever you do, do it
heartily, as unto the Lord, and not unto men. knowing that of
the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for
you serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall
receive for the wrong which he hath done, and there is no respect
of persons. The Apostle Paul is instructing
us here on how we ought to live, how we ought to act, how we ought
to be as God's people and followers of Christ. And I want us to understand
something about how we live in this world. and how we act and
how we ought to be as God's people. I want us to understand something. I pray we might learn this. If
we don't know this, I pray we might learn this. If we know
this, I pray we might be reminded of this. Some people believe that we must
obey God's commandments in order to be saved. I just read commandment
after commandment after commandment, instruction after instruction,
a whole chapter of it to everybody. Some people believe that we must
obey God's commandments to us so that we can be saved. That is not true. That is not true. That's not
so. God saved us while we were still
dead in trespasses and sins. God saved us on the cross of
Calvary 2,000 years ago before any of us were ever even born. When he cried, it is finished,
it was finished. Either it's finished or it's
not. And it is. It is. God saved us in His will and
His purpose before this earth ever even had foundations. Christ was the Lamb slain for
the sin of His people before the foundation of the world.
The finished work of Christ is not dependent on anything that
we do. Anything. His obedience. If we're gonna talk about obedience
for salvation, His obedience in the shedding of His blood,
that is the only thing that our salvation is dependent on. So we do not need to obey God's
law in order to be saved. Salvation is not earned. We need
to understand that. Salvation is not earned. It is
freely given. That's what grace is. Grace means
freely given. Salvation is by grace. It's by grace, okay? We will
not, by His grace, even insinuate that the death of Christ was
in vain if we don't make it effectual by our works. God forbid that
we even imply that blasphemy, okay? So, some believe, very
wrongly, that we must obey God's commandments in order to be saved. Wrong. Then, you have some who
believe And this is important. Okay, that's that. Then you have
some who believe that God saves whom He will. But you can't have any evidence
or any assurance of knowing that He saved you unless you see in
yourself a putting away of your own sin, a turning from your
own sin to the obedience in yourself of good works. Meaning, this is what I mean
by that, meaning good works are the evidence of salvation. Some people, here's a little
recap. Some people believe good works are the cause of salvation,
okay? Some people believe good works
are the evidence of salvation. Both of those are not so. They're not so. Just listen to
Romans 3, verse 28. It says, we are justified by
faith. without the deeds of the law,
before or after. We're justified by faith without
the deeds of the law. Well, Gabe, are you against the
good deeds of the law? Are you against good works? No. Oh, I love thy law. That's what
David said. I love these good works. I want to be that kind of husband.
I wanna be that kind of servant. I wanna be that kind of brother.
I'm not against good works at all, but I am against lying to
people. Telling them that their salvation
is in a place that it's not. Telling them that it's evidenced
by something that it's not evidenced by. pointing men and women to something
that they should be looking to for their hope of glory when
they shouldn't be looking to that, putting them in a bondage
that God has not placed them under. I am against that. I'm very much
against that. Salvation is not by our good
works, start or finished, period, period. Salvation is by the mercy
and the grace of God through the blood, through the death,
through the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ alone. That's the cause of salvation. The blood, the death, the sacrifice
of Jesus Christ alone. That's the cause of salvation.
And the evidence of it Salvation is evidenced by a sinner receiving
faith to stop looking to himself. All of a man or woman's life,
wrongly, they look to themselves. They look to themselves. They're
all worried about themselves. It's all about themselves. And
then when God sends faith, they stop. Sometimes it takes a little
while. It becomes less and less until
it's no more because their faith is increased. Little faith looks here a lot
and there a little. Medium faith kind of splits the
difference between the two. Much faith has no confidence
in the flesh at all. We stop looking to ourselves
and we start looking to the blood and the death, the sacrifice
of Jesus Christ alone, period. Salvation is evidenced when a
sinner looks to Christ's obedience. All of that stuff that we just
read, I want to do that so badly, but I have to acknowledge this
in truth to you. I have not done it. and neither
have you, Jesus Christ is the only man who has, with perfection
before God, in a way that God will say, well done, come on
in. He is the only one. So salvation is evidence when
we look to Christ's good works. His good works. And salvation
is evidenced when a man or woman is given a heart to beg God to
send me the peace of knowing that my sin and disobedience
to that was laid on Christ. And Christ's goodness and obedience
to that was laid on me. And through that transaction,
mercy is going to be shown to me. Grace is going to be shown
to me for Christ's sake. OK, that's the evidence of salvation.
It's a pleading heart that cries, please show mercy to me for Christ's
sake. For Christ's sake, I have nothing
to plead. Nothing on my own to plead. All
my deeds are filthy rags. I have no obedience before you.
None whatsoever. Christ is all I have. He's all
I have. That's the evidence of salvation. If good works and obedience was
the evidence of salvation, if a man's good works and obedience
was the evidence of salvation, when those two Went into the
temple to pray that Pharisee and that publican. The Pharisee
should have been the one to go to heaven. And the publican should
have been the one to go to hell. But that's not how it went. The
Pharisee said, I have obeyed you with good works. God said,
not justified. The publican said, God be merciful
to me. I'm such a sinner against you.
God said, welcome in. Good works is not the evidence
of salvation. Some believe, here's a recap.
Some believe good works and obedience is the cause of salvation. It's
not. Some believe good works and obedience
is the evidence of salvation. It's not. All right, then. You're going to ask yourself,
how are we going to get to wives submit then? You're going to have some who
say, who hear this and say, well, all right then, I guess it doesn't
matter what you do. It's not the cause. It's not
the evidence. I guess it doesn't matter how
you live your life. You don't have to pay attention
to any of God's commandments. That's not so. That's just not
true. Our obedience does not make us
to be God's children. God made us to be God's children. My children's obedience didn't
make them to be my children. We all know God made them to
be my children, but for the sake of the illustration, I made them
to be my children, okay? God did that. But here's the
thing, as God's children, our obedience or our disobedience
will either bring his smiling countenance to us, or his frowning
countenance to us. Anybody here who has ever been
the child of a parent can understand this. If you've ever been the
child of a parent, we all know our actions, our obedience, or
our disobedience can either bring the smiling countenance or the
frowning countenance. If we live in and continue in
and just stay bent on disobedience to what God has commanded us
to do. He said, I want you to be this way. And if we just stay
bent on disobedience, we can and we will make this life very
hard on ourselves. very hard on ourselves, just
like any child can do. We can bring His chastening on
us and bring His chastening on us and bring His chastening on
us. Or we can beg Him to teach us and to conform us more so
into the image of Christ our Savior. Lord, conform us to a
loving obedience. Conform us to a blessed union
with the goodness of God. That's what we have illustrated
to us spiritually in this verse of scripture, all right? Verse
18, Colossians 3, verse 18, it says, wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands. as it is fit in the Lord. And I'm going to say again, if
the Lord is willing, we'll apply this to our physical marriages. But today we're going to apply
this to our spiritual marriage. Christ is all to us. He is our Lord. I mean, God. He is our Savior. He is our Maker, our Creator. He is our Defender. He is our Husband. He is our
Father. There is a Father, Father, Son,
and Spirit. But it's all witnessed, it's
all seen, it's all known in Christ. He said, have I been so long
time with you? And have you not known me? He is our brother. He is our friend. Christ is all
to us. He's all to us. And being all
to us, we submit to him. We submit to his word. We submit
to his will. We do, don't we? by His grace. We submit to His way. We submit
to His leadership. We submit to His Lordship. We
submit to Him being the head over us. He's the head over us. And we're glad. We're happy about
that. We submit. The word submit is
not a very popular word. It is not a very popular word.
The reason is because men, and I don't mean mankind, I'm not
talking about men and women, I'm talking about males. Men have abused that word and
they've tried to change the meaning of that word to mean bondage. That's what everybody thinks
of when they hear submit. Men have done that, and it's
in the heart of every man. We're all guilty of it. It's
in the heart of every man, but men have done that by very foolishly
and ignorantly saying this phrase to their wives. You'd better
submit to me. It has happened so many times.
You have a young couple and they're, they're having marital problems.
And this young man goes and talks to a, you know, older man about
it. And that old fool instructs the
young fool, make her submit. You're going to have to make
her submit. A man cannot make his wife submit
to him. He cannot. The man who makes
a statement like that obviously has no idea what submission is. Now, the man who makes a statement
like that clearly has a little understanding of what bondage
is. He can put his wife under bondage.
Men can do that. But he cannot force her to submit. And here's the reason why. He
said, wives, submit yourselves. Not wives bow to your husband
making you submit. Submission is an inner desire. It's a lovely thing. It is a
lovely, lovely thing. It's an inner desire that comes
from adoration and respect and love. It is a loving want to. It's something in here that wants
to and desires to. Whenever we hold a door open
for somebody, okay, you walk into a building, a restaurant,
who knows what, and you hold a door open and you say, after
you. Okay, that's submission. It's a willing want to. I want
to do this. When somebody comes up and says,
you better hold that door open or else, and that's fear. and that's bondage, and that's
not submission. Submission is an inner desire
that says, oh, I would love to do this for you. When John the Baptist said, I must decrease, and Christ must
increase, that's submission. John was lovingly, desiringly
submitting to his Lord and Savior. All of God's people do. All of
God's people do. That is our inner want to. That is our great desire and
happiness. That's our happiness. Us being
lower and lower and Christ being higher and higher, that's our
joy. That's our rejoicing. Turn with
me if you would to Revelation 21. Revelation 21 verse 1, it says,
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and
the first earth were passed away, and there was no more sea. And
I, John, saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God
out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband." That's
what the people of God are referred to in glory, the bride. Look at verse 9, it says, And
there came unto me one of the seven angels, which had the seven
vials, full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me,
saying, Come hither, I will show thee the bride, the Lamb's wife,
the wife of the great husband." And that's all of the redeemed
people of God. And what is the heart and the
attitude of this wife toward her husband? Look at Revelation
19 verse 1. And after these things, I heard
a great voice of much people in heaven saying, hallelujah,
salvation, and glory, and honor, and power unto the Lord our God. Everything unto him. Verse three
says, and again, they said, hallelujah. And her smoke, that means her
praise, her adoration rose up forever and ever. Verse 6, And I heard, as it were,
the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters,
and as the voice of mighty thundering, saying, Alleluia, for the Lord
God Omnipotent reigneth. He reigns. He's the Sovereign. Verse 7 says, Let us be glad
and rejoice and give honor to Him. For the marriage of the
Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready." Who made
her ready? Christ made her ready. But she
also made herself ready, and what that means is she wanted
this. She didn't come to this loving
union, kicking and screaming. She desired this. She wanted
to spend her eternity crying, not unto me, not unto me. It's all unto you. All of it's
unto you. If the Lord has us to do a Bible
study on a physical marriage, that's a happy marriage. That
is a happy marriage. Our Lord first did that very
thing to His people. He is the one who said, not unto
me, I'm giving it unto you. He is the one who had that heart,
that willing, loving, happy desire. I willingly give my all unto
you. That's the example of marriage,
true marriage. In closing for today, this is
what I want to say to us. Wives. Meaning bride of Christ. Let's submit. Let's submit all
of these commandments in this word to us from our husband. This is how this is how we reason
these things. If these things don't save us
and if these things are not the evidence of our salvation, how
do we reason these things? We desire them. Even though these
commandments to us from our God, from as the scripture calls him,
our husband, even though we know that these things can't save
us, he did. And even though we know that
we can't fulfill them in a way that is satisfactory to God,
only He did. But even so, because of our love
and admiration for Him, when He says, flee certain things
that will bring a reproach to Him and His name and His gospel
and His ministry and His people, let's flee them. If he says,
stop doing this for the good of the example of the gospel,
let's stop doing it. When he says, I want you to treat
each other in this certain way, let's make a conscious, loving
effort to treat each other in that certain way. A lot of times
we hear these things, they roll in one out the other and we go
on about our business. Brethren, wives, If He says, you love each other
as I've loved you, let's grab hold of everything that is division
and animosity and anger and let's throw it away. Just throw it
away. Let's make the conscious, loving,
humble effort to submit to what is pleasing to our Lord. Let's
desire it. Let's desire the things that
are pleasing to Him. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husband as it is fit in the Lord. Pray the Lord will
give us the heart to do it. Alright, you're dismissed.
Gabe Stalnaker
About Gabe Stalnaker
Gabe Stalnaker is the pastor of the Kingsport Sovereign Grace Church located at 2709 Rock Springs Rd, Kingsport, Tennessee 37664. You may contact him by phone at (423) 723-8103 or e-mail at gabestalnaker@hotmail.com

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