This series of studies, God's
Directives for Family Living. The first thing we did last week
was to set out the manner in which we were going to approach
this subject of family living. And I said, first of all, there
were three things that were not going to characterize our approach. We are not going to take the
approach of rationalism, that is, making our minds the final
bar of judgment, the standard of what is right and wrong. nor
were we going to take the position of traditionalism that simply
said, well, whatever has been done in American culture, we'll
continue to do it. We're not going to take the approach
of pragmatism, what seems to work, and if it works, then it's
good, and if it's good, then it must be right. None of these
approaches can find any justification in Holy Scripture, so we're taking
the fourth approach that I have called scripturalism. The conviction
that all scripture is breathed out of God and is profitable,
that we might be instructed in right living, that God himself
says to the law and to the testimony, if they speak not according to
this word, it is because there is no light in them. And John
12, 48, where Jesus said, the word that I have spoken unto
you shall judge you in the last day. Even judge us with respect
to our stewardship of family privilege and responsibility.
So our approach then, we trust, will be thoroughly scriptural.
This is the only reason why I would attempt to bring a series of
lessons and lectures and studies on this subject. I am not trained
in psychiatry, in psychology. I am not trained as a family
counselor, but I do believe I'm aware of the basic teaching of
Holy Scripture, and therefore that qualifies me to proclaim
God's directives for family living. Then we moved into the goal of
our study, and I stated it negatively. It was not to give an exhaustive
list or an exhaustive coverage of all the facets of family living,
anticipating all the specific problems that can arise, and
seeking to give you, as it were, a little indexed book or manual
that would answer all your family problems. But rather, our goal
is to lay hold of the great principles of Scripture, so that we may
then relate our specific problems to those great principles and
then find our own answers even as our Lord sought to get the
Pharisees to do with regard to the problem of divorce in Matthew
19. Now, how then are we going to
approach the subject? Well, the first thing we attempted
to do or begin to do last week was to set out the framework
of family living. We'll continue that tonight and
then We want to move into the second area, the pattern of training
children, or the parental responsibility towards their children. Then
thirdly, specific biblical principles touching the discipline of children.
And then the fourth area, specific problems of family living and
guidelines from scripture. the problems of sex education
in the home, the problem of the proper use of the TV, how to
conduct family devotions, etc. And we're putting those practical
problems at the end purposely, not because I'm wanting to avoid
them, but because it's only as we get these great sweeping biblical
concepts clearly before us that we'll have any basis to grapple
with the specific problems. And if we tried to come right
at the problems and spend a night on how to have family devotions,
We might have a set of rules for a given area, but because
we haven't gotten hold of some principles, we wouldn't know
how to relate other areas of need to the great truths of Scripture. So we're really trying to lay
out a biblical philosophy of the family and of the home in
the first place and in the major place, and then take up specific
problems and relate them to those great principles of Holy Scripture.
Well, last week we began to look at the scriptural framework of
the home. and in that framework we saw
first of all there is God himself who has revealed himself in his
word and in his son and then we have the actual members of
the household we have the husband and the wife considered in their
relationship to each other father and mother as we consider them
in relationship to their children. And what we tried to establish
last week was that God's framework for the home takes in all of
these ingredients. God never intended that the home
should be simply this relationship, husband-wife, wife-husband, father-mother
to children. There must be this external and
objective sphere of reference, the God who has made the man
and the woman, the God who has ordained that they should live
together, the God who has ordained that the fruit of their union
would be children, and it's only as the family structure is viewed
in this relationship that it can attain to its God-intended
ideal. And why is it that there is such
tremendous problems in our day in this direction and in this
direction? It's simply another expression of the basic principle
that when man disregards his relationship to his God, he just
brings himself into an ever-increasing net of self-destruction. Occasionally,
in what we call common grace, where men don't consciously recognize
their allegiance to God, they do not consciously recognize
the precepts of God, nonetheless, in common grace, they share some
of the benefits of that revelation and of its truth. But it's not
due to them. It's simply because God, like
sending his rain upon the just and the unjust, allows some of
those influences to filter down into their lives, but God would
have us self-consciously aware that the structure of the family
includes not only the husband, the wife, the children, but the
living God revealed in Holy Scripture, and the Lord Jesus Christ as
the Savior of sinners. So much then for that basic framework.
What we then attempted to do was to isolate this relationship
here. which is absolutely foundational
to any proper influence here for the children. The first thing
we did was try to show the areas in which the husband and the
wife are on absolutely the same standing or footing in their
relationship to God. And you remember we said three
things. They have equality and equal identity in creative dignity. They are both made in the image
of God. Secondly, in their native depravity, one is no more sinful
than the other. They are both fallen creatures.
And thirdly, in redemptive privilege, they have an absolutely equal
footing. In Christ Jesus there is neither
male nor female, but ye are one in Christ. So whatever we say
about the structure of the home, It in no way infers that the
man or the woman, one or the other, has greater dignity as
a creature, is more holy or sinful inherently, or has a lesser standing
in Christ. No, these are the areas of absolute
equality and identity. However, when we come into the
structure of the home, a new relationship exists, and we see
the parallel of this in every other area. viewed simply as
creatures, no man is any better than any other man in relationship
to God. He hath made of one blood. We
read in Acts 17. However, when you put these people
together in what we call a societal relationship, you have those
who God appoints to be rulers and governors, and others then
who are to be subjects and what? Followers. Now, this does not
mean the follower is any less a creature of dignity in the
sight of God than the leader. But it means when you put the
two together in this relationship, then there is a structure of
order. So when we come to the husband-wife relationship, we
must keep these things clearly in our minds. And at the point
of being tedious, I want to underscore them, and I'll do it week after
week. Never mix up the identity as
creatures in the image of God and then the identity and responsibility
as creatures related in a specific structure. The two are not the
same. All right, then, within this
specific structure, then, of the husband-wife relationship,
what things do they have in common? As individuals before God, we
saw the three things they have in common. As members of this
relationship, they have certain things in common. First of all,
they complement one another. The man was incomplete until
the woman was brought to him. The woman was not made to be
self-sufficient, but she was made to find her fulfillment
in being brought to the man. And as Small says in his book
so eloquently, this is at the same time the most glorious and
most humbling fact. There's glory in the role of
the husband in that he is the head, but there's humility in
this in that even though he was the head, he was incomplete.
without the woman. There is both glory and humility
in the woman's position. She was made of the man, this
should humble her. But there is glory in that she
alone can cause the man to find his true fulfillment. So there
is in the relationship this thing they have in common. Each one
is to complement the other. Secondly, they share together
the responsibility to cleave one to another. For this cause
shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his
wife. And by inference, of course,
the wife to cleave to the husband. And then he goes on to say, they
too shall be one flesh. And that term, one flesh, the
best interpretation of the phrase I read to you last week, I'll
give it to you again. It's a commitment to intimacy
in the totality of life. expressed in the sexual union
of one flesh, which shows, on the one hand, the sanctity of
the sexual union, and secondly, the totality of the sexual union. Why has God ordained that the
sexual union should not be experienced outside of marriage? Because
it is a union that involves something more than two bodies coming together. There's a totality of the relationship. There is a commitment to total
intimacy of mind and of will and of purpose. And therefore,
this is a mockery of that very relationship when it's indulged
in outside of the total life commitment of the marriage relationship. And then thirdly, they share
together the responsibility to subdue the earth and to replenish
the earth. Genesis chapter 1. All right
then, what are their specific responsibilities? These are things
they share together. What are their specific and individual
responsibilities? And we said that the key words
that came up again and again, and we've just read through,
those of you who weren't here last week, I read through the key
passages, Genesis 1, Genesis 2, Ephesians 5, Colossians 3,
1 Peter chapter 3, I believe those were the key passages that
I read through, and the word that came up again and again
with reference to the role, the specific role of the wife in
relationship to her husband, was what word? Submit. She is to take a place of submission
to the husband, and the nature of that submission, it is religious.
Wives be subject to your husbands as unto the Lord. He has ordained
this relationship. The ground of that submission,
the creative order she was made to be submissive, and the redemptive
pattern, as the Church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be
to their husbands. The extent of that submission,
every sphere, let the wives be subject to the husbands in everything. Now that's qualified by the higher
considerations that we considered if the husband asks and requires
something contrary to the law of God. The key word that denotes
the responsibility of the husband in all the passages dealing with
him is what? Love. Not rule, but love. Now
you'd expect it to be, wives submit, husbands rule. No, but
he doesn't say that. He says, wives submit, but husbands
you love. Now he's not negating the fact
that the husband is to rule. That's assumed in every command
to the wife to submit. So the husband doesn't need to
be told that. What he needs to be told is, that he is to rule
in the climate and context of love. A love that has as its
pattern nothing less than the love of Christ to his church. Husbands, love your wives as
Christ loved the church. He loved it realistically. He
knew what it was. And yet he set his love upon
it. He loved it sacrificially. He gave himself to the church.
He loved it purposely, that he might do something with it. He
had a purpose in his love. He loved it absolutely, even
unto the giving of himself. Well, we closed on that note
last week, and just as a beautiful summary, in a very pure way,
let me read from The new set of commentaries that I just got
from England as the banner of troops presentation to me in
appreciation for my ministry at the Leicester Conference,
it was a nice thing to find greeting me this afternoon. Lenski comments
on this passage concerning the husband's responsibility to love
the wife as Christ loved the Church. In the state of innocence,
the husband was the head, and the wife subjected herself to
him as the head. God made marriage so ideal, so
lovely, so blessed, so perfect. Sin entered and disturbed this
relation. Eve fell, Adam followed. God's order was subverted. In
the state of sin, the divine and blessed order is disturbed
in two directions. Wives seek to rule their husbands
and refuse loving self-subjection. And husbands tyrannized their
wives, often to the point of enslaving them. Endless woe results. Christianity restores the divine
order with all its happiness. When Christianity came and elevated
woman and wifehood from their pagan degradation and made male
and female one in the Church of Christ, the danger of throwing
over this original order began to appear. You see, women began
to reason, since we're one in Christ, therefore, why should
we be subject? Wives might be inclined to refuse
self-subjection because of a false view of emancipation and independence.
For this reason, Paul ever speaks so clearly and shows both the
original divine intention, what I've called the creative order,
of the marital relation of husbands and of wives, and the sanctification
of this relation and its glorious elevation because Christ made
it the image of his own relationship to the Church. Redemptive pattern. Creative order, redemptive pattern. Those two concepts continually
shape and mold the teaching of the Bible about this relationship.
All right, now before we move on to this relationship, that's
our review. We're all done. Fifteen, twelve
minutes. We've covered what took us an
hour and a half. Do we have any questions? Before
we move on now to the parent-child relationship. Any questions? Bill, are you
going to put a tape on now? Oh. Oh, all right. Yeah, because
of my moving over, and I'll move this around a little bit too,
okay? Good. All right, no question. Then let's move on to the second
area. Having considered the husband-wife
relationship, now we want to look at the husband-wife relationship
with reference to the children, so we'll change their names from
husband and wife to father and mother. Same people, maybe you
wish you were two. Sometimes you just wish you could
be one person to be the kind of companion you ought to be,
undistracted by what these little critters demand of you. And this
is what complicates it, because you see, the same person who's
got to fulfill all these responsibilities that we've looked at in the husband-wife
relationship, then comes the fruit of their union, God's,
as it were, official stamp of the truth that the two should
be one, when they hold in their arms that new thing that is both
mama and papa together. That's the beauty of this thing.
I read something that began to get my wheels turning along this
line, in which an author said, even though man may seek to dissolve
the relationship of the two being one, God has a way of making
it so permanent in their children. Here's a husband and wife joined
together in that total intimacy, expressed in their sexual union.
The fruit of that is a child that is, in reality, one thing
that is the fusion of the two. Now they get divorced, and they
say, oh well, the two are no longer one. So what do you do
with that child? Do you unchild it? Do you send it back into
sperm and ovum? No, you can't, you see. And the
very way God has ordained that children should come as the fruit
of that union is God saying to every parent, when they hold
the little one in their arms, see how one much one you are? Look at the fruit of your one.
And as I was taking a nap last Sunday afternoon with Beth and
I woke up before she did, I just laid there and I looked at her
with this thought going through my mind and I think I was gripped in
a new way with the marvel and the wonder of this. I said, what
is that little creature there? That's my wife. That's me. But it's Beth. Stamped for eternity. indicating that the two shall
be one. It's a mysterious but beautiful
thought, isn't it? Well, they come along, and not
only is there beauty and wonder, but then there is increased responsibility. So, these people are not just
husbands and wives, they are now mother and they are fathers. And now what I want you to do
with me is to think, first of all, of the position of these
two creatures with relationship to these children, in the plan
of God, their position in the plan of God, and then secondly,
their task by the command of God. Position in the plan of
God, and then secondly, their task by the command of God. What has God constituted as the
position of these people? Now let me underscore again emphatically
that this is the most crucial issue in parental privilege and
responsibility, namely, discovering what God has made me with reference
to my children. This is why there is such wholesale
confusion and anarchy and downright mess in our homes today, even
some of the best of our so-called Christian homes. It's because
parents do not know what has God made me by making me a mama
and a papa. Am I to be a little consensus
administrator? That is, I come to my children
and find out their likes and dislikes, and on the basis of
that, I speak to order the home to conform to what they want. Well, that's what a lot of people
think God has constituted them, little consensus administrators. Others think that God has constituted
them a sort of a glorified, what would I call it, just a glorified
horn of plenty. Whatever the child needs, you're
there to simply make sure that you turn the big end of the funnel
and everything pours out and lays there for them to take.
If it's love, you're the horn of plenty of love. If it's forbearance
and indulgence, if it's money, if it's clothes, if it's college,
that's what you are. Well, if that's what God has
constituted you as a parent, do you see how crucial this is?
What is the position of the mama and the papa in the plan of God? May I suggest First of all, that
they are God-appointed mediators within the framework of the home.
Now let me explain the terminology. 1 Timothy 2.5 says there is one
God and one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus. When we think of how guilty sinners
like you and like me can be right with a holy God, The Bible says
there is one goal between sinful man and a holy God, the man,
Christ Jesus. And in that sense, Christ is
an exclusive mediator. And so when I use the term mediator,
I'm not saying we can actually take away the sins of our children,
etc. No, I don't mean that at all.
But I'm saying there is a distinct parallel in terms of how Christ
is the mediator to sinful man, with reference to the position
of the parents in relationship to the children. Now, as the
Shorter Catechism says, how does Christ execute the office of
a Redeemer? He does so, the Catechism says,
as a prophet, as a priest, and as a king. As a mediator, he
is a prophet, a priest, and a king. Now, in the same way, but without
this aspect that we've said is exclusively his, God has constituted
the parents little mediator in that home with reference to these
children. Let me read a statement by a
writer of bygone days in which he says, quoting from Stephen
Perry, Life Lessons from the Book of Proverbs, Parents are,
by the constitution of things, and in an important sense, mediators
between God and their children for a time. What you give them,
they receive. What you tell them, they believe. It is a sweet employment and
an honorable place to be mediators for our children, bearing up
to God their need and bringing down to them God's will. This is a kind of mediation not
detracting from the mediation of Christ. Now, as Christ as
a mediator is a prophet to declare the will of God, a prince to
forgive and intercede for us, and a king to rule over us, so
as parent, God constitutes us. prophets to teach the will of
God to our children, priests to plead with God on their behalf,
and kings to enforce the rule and the reign of God over them. Now let's look at those three
things in a scriptural setting. God has constituted you as a
Christian parent. God has constituted me a prophet
to my children. That is, I am to be the primary
instrument through which they will know the will of God. That was the function of a prophet,
to declare the will of God. Turn please to Deuteronomy chapter
6. Deuteronomy chapter 6. verse 4 through verse 9. Here, O Israel, the Lord our
God is one Lord, and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all
thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these
words which I command thee this day shall be upon thy heart,
and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children. and shall
talk of them when thou sittest in thy house, and when thou walkest
by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thy hand, and they
shall be for frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write
them upon the doorpost of thy house, and upon thy gates." You
see what God is saying? God, through the prophet Moses,
says, this is my will for you, my people Israel. Now there's
another generation that will follow you. Who is to be the
primary mediator of that truth which I am giving to you through
my prophet Moses? Who is to be a prophet to your
children? And the answer is not Moses,
not the official administrators of Israel, and not even what
we would call the full-time prophets of Israel, but the parents. and these words which I command
thee shall be upon thy heart," that's the first thing, you must
receive those words, and then he says, "...thou shalt teach
them diligently to thy children," and then he goes on to expand
that, he says, "...by that I mean that at every point where the
children turn in the totality of their life experience," when
they're sitting down in the house, the normal social activities
of the home, when they're going to bed, when you're out for a
walk, in every aspect of life, they are to be confronted with
what God says about that aspect of life, and this is to be done
through the instrumentality of the parent. In other words, the
child is to grow up looking at life through the glasses of holy
truth. And the way those glasses are
constructed is by the careful, consistent, prophetic ministry
of the mama and of the papa. God has constituted you his prophet
to those children. Do we want for our children the
life of blessedness? Every parent has to say yes to
that, doesn't he? You want for your children the
life of blessedness? Well, what is that life of blessedness?
Blessed is the man that walks not in the advice of the ungodly,
nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in the law that
he meditates day and night. Well, you see, how can the child
meditate upon the law, that is, reflect upon the implications
of the word of God for the totality of the experiences of life, unless
the mind and heart are saturated with that word? Now, who's going
to get it into the mind? Certainly not the Sunday school
teacher who has them for an hour. Certainly not the teacher in
the secular school or even the teacher in the Christian school
doesn't have that much opportunity with so many other things that
have to be learned. Certainly the TV is not going to do it
for them. Certainly the neighbors aren't going to do it for them.
Who is going to get that word into the mind so that when they
think of any area of life, when they walk in the way, when they
sit, when they lie down, they think scripturally. God has made
you the instrument through which that is to be realized. He has
constituted us prophets. We don't say, now, Lord, I would
like to be a prophet to my children. God says, I've made you a prophet
to your children. Either you're a faithful one
or an unfaithful one. But you can't change the fact
that God has constituted you a prophet to your children. All
you can do is accept that responsibility and work it out faithfully or
unfaithfully, and God will hold you accountable for which one
you do. Secondly, God has constituted us priests. Now he does not mean
by that that we can save our children, no. But as the priest,
we read in Hebrews 5, bears with the infirmities of the weak,
the priest is sympathetic, so God says to parents, particularly
to fathers in Colossians 3.21, fathers, provoke not your children
to wrath. Don't expect adult behavior of
the immature child. Don't set up standards of direction
and discipline that are unreasonable, that will cause them to be unnecessarily
rebellious. You're to have a priestly heart,
and then the primary function of that priestly heart is to
bear them before God in prayer, that He, by His grace, would
make them what He intended them to be, and the beautiful example
of this in Holy Scripture. And this is why the Bible comes
to us, not just with precepts, but with so much history, because
the precepts are beautiful when they are clothed in historical
example. Job chapter 1. We read of this
man, Job, and I'm starting in the first verse of the first
chapter. There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job,
and that man was perfect and upright and one that feared God
and turned away from evil. And there were born unto him
seven sons and three daughters." That reminds me of what it says
about Enoch. It says that he walked with God,
and it points the time of his walking with God from the time
he begat children, indicating that the demands and the upsets
of the domestic life are no excuse for not cultivating true piety.
They become the occasion of the most beautiful kind of balanced
piety. And so it says of Job that he
was not only what we would call a first-table Christian who respected
the demands of God upon him individually, but in his domestic life he was
a true man of God. His substance was 7,000 sheep,
etc. Now notice carefully verse 4.
And his sons went and held a feast in the house of each one upon
his day, and they sent and called for their three sisters to eat
and drink with them. And it was so, when the days
of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified
them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings
according to the number of them all. For Job said, It may be
that my sons have sinned and renounced God in their hearts.
Thus did Job continually." Here's Joel taking the place of a priest,
actually offering up literal sacrifices for his sons. Day after day he did this continually,
bearing them up before God, pleading that God would have mercy upon
them if indeed they had renounced him in the heart. Now God doesn't
ask you to go out and raise some sheep or even keep a cage of
dove to offer as a sacrifice. But he does expect us to bring
the sacrifice of prayer to him continually on behalf of our
children. To bring them up before him individually
as Job did. To make our prayers specific
on their behalf. Oh God, send your spirit to subdue
their natural rebellion. To reveal the glory of Christ
to them. Send your spirit to form them
and shape them into those mature Christian men and women that
will live to your praise and take their place in the world
and in the church and in their own future homes to your glory
and to your praise. Now, God has made you the priest
for your children. You don't say, well, that's something
I'd like to be. He has constituted you that priest.
And like the prophetic office, you are either faithful or unfaithful
in the discharge of that priesthood. And then thirdly, in this whole
general area, God has made us mediators. He has constituted
us kings. That is, we are to administer
the rule of God in our homes. Remember what Joshua said, those
famous words of Joshua? What did he say? As for me, I'll
serve the Lord, and if my children agree to, and it's in keeping
with family consensus, then the whole bunch of us might. Now,
he didn't say that. He said, as for me and my house,
we will serve the Lord. He said, I will administer in
my home the rule of God. Oh, that God would get this through
to us. If there's anything that gets me downright, it's probably
carnally mad. Maybe some of it's righteous
anger, but I'm afraid disinflection is when I see parents afraid
to assume their kingly role, grumping every time the children
whimper, grumping every time the children bark, squirming
and squeamish when the children frown. Can you imagine a king
seated upon a throne, who every time he heard one of his subjects
grumble, began to tremble? Every time someone in his kingdom
didn't like one of the rules, he began to get all fidgety,
He isn't worthy of this position, is he? May I say you're not worthy
of the place God's given you, if you're not prepared to assume
your mediatorial role as a king, administering the rule of God
in your own home. Let's look at a few passages
that set out this principle so clearly. One in the Old Testament,
I've already given you Joshua, but then there's that beautiful
statement about that man of God, Abraham. And I read now from
Genesis 18, 16 to 18. Genesis 18, 16, I'm sorry, to
19. And the men rose up from the
fence and looked toward Sodom, and Abraham went with them to
bring them on the way. And the Lord said, Shall I hide
from Abraham that which I do, seeing that Abraham shall surely
become a great and mighty nation, and all nations of the earth
shall be blessed in him? For I have known him," that's
that rich word, know, that is, I've regarded him with distinguishing
love and affection, to the end that he may suggest to his children
and his household after him that they ought to keep the way of
the Lord? No. That is what the text says.
I have known him to the end that he may command his children and
his household after him that they may keep the way of the
Lord to do righteousness and justice, to the end that the
Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
I have known him to the end that he will command his children. He will be a king in his home,
administering the rule of God. In love, yes, In understanding,
yes, our kingship is to reflect Christ's kingship. He knows our
frame. He remembers that we are but
dust. His commandments are not grievous. His deal is easy. But
saying all of that, He's still a king! He doesn't dicker with
you and me. And so now can we sit down and
have a little bargaining session? As we try to work out what might
be good for you? He says, this is my will for
you. and with loving tone, and with
hands that point and are pierced. He points the way, and he does
so with all the investiture of that kingly and royal authority
that God has given to him. And as surely as God has constituted
Christ the Mediatorial King of the Church, He's made you the
Mediatorial King of the whole. He's constituted you that. So you don't need to tremble
when you gather the family together and you say in our home, because
Sunday is the Christian Sabbath, there shall be no television. OK, I want to look at this one. You know what I'm talking about? No, no. You sit down and you
set the direction of that home in the light of the Word of God,
and you say, this is the direction we go under the kingship of Christ. One of the famous little things
that's getting popular in our house is, but mommy or daddy,
so-and-so does this, and so on. We say, hmm, that's interesting,
but what does that have to do with us? We don't look out there
for what we do as a family. We look in here. We don't look out there, we don't
put our ear to what the neighbors do, we put our ear this way.
You see? Excuse me for getting excited,
but it's one of the most liberating things, as well as the most awesome
thing, to think God has constituted us kings. Well, turn to the New
Testament now, 1 Timothy chapter 3. What is one of the requirements
for the teaching, ruling elder? And remember, everything that's
required of them is required of Christians in general, just
that they who assume places of leadership must evidence these
requirements in some degree of eminence, as examples. But in 1 Timothy chapter 3, notice
the words that are used. Verse 4, speaking of the one
that would aspire to the office of a bishop, an elder, an overseer,
one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in
subjection. Subjection, rule, this is the
kingly concept. But if a man knoweth not how
to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of
God? He's a king. A king's to rule.
A king is to have subjects. Granted, it's in the climate
of love. The climate of understanding,
just as the subjection of the wife to the husband is to be
to the husband, who loves as he rules, but you can't bleed
the concept of rule out, no matter how much you infuse the biblical
concept of love and tenderness and patience, etc. This is why
God turns the tables to children, then, and says in Ephesians 6
and verse 1, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this
is right. Well, if it's right for children
to obey, it's right for parents to rule and to give them commands. That's obvious. How does God
feel when this order is upset? When parents do not exercise
their kingly rule? Well, look at Eli. It says he
restrained not his sons. And the Hebrew word means he
didn't even admonish them verbally, let alone spank them. And you
know what God said to him? I'll curse your whole seed after
you. And do you remember the terrible curse that came upon
his family? What would happen to a son or daughter who would
not submit to the kingly rule of a parent? God regarded rejection
of the kingly role of the parents as rejection of his own authority,
and it was punishable with death in the Old Testament. Deuteronomy
21, beginning with verse 18. If a man have a stubborn and
rebellious son that will not obey the voice of his father
or the voice of the mother, and though they chasten him, you
see, they sought to use the means to bring him into subjection,
and he will not hearken unto them, Then shall his father and
mother, now this shows how concerned they are that this order of their
rule be maintained in Israel. They're not soft, sentimental,
sloppy parents. They've been administering discipline
faithfully. The child hasn't responded. What
are they to do? Take second best and have anarchy?
No, no. They're to lay hold on him Bring
him to the elders of the city and to the gate of his place,
and they shall say to the elders of his city, This our son is
stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice, he is a glutton
and a drunkard, and all the men of his city shall stone him to
death with stone. So shalt thou put away the evil
from the midst of thee, and all Israel shall hear and shall fear."
You have essentially the same thing in Exodus 21.15. and Leviticus
20 and verse 9. It says if a son or daughter
curses father and mother, he shall be put to death. Because
what is the cursing? When a parent turns around, when
a child turns around to a parent who's giving an order and says,
I'm fooling on you. What is that doing? That's saying
you're not a king over me and God says when they do that, that
shows they're rejecting my authority and the wages of rejecting my
authority is death. Now I'm not saying This specific
law is enforced today, any more than the command if someone's
taken in adultery, they should be stoned. But God was teaching
lessons here to put his fear into the hearts of men. And I'm
only using the passages to enforce this principle that God has constituted
parents in the role of kings to administer the rule of God
in the whole. Now, it doesn't say that it's
only the Christian who has attained to a degree of great maturity
and balanced piety, whom God says now, as a promotion for
your present degree of sanctification, I will now constitute you a prophet,
priest, and king to your children. You know, with all my own failures
and all the areas of my own weakness, if God has blessed the union
of this husband and wife with children, then by the very nature
of the presence of that child, they are constituted prophets,
priests, and kings unto those children. In the book of the
Revelation, it says that Jesus Christ has made us kings and
priests unto our God, and we are kings and priests in this
domestic role. as well. But I'm sure you see
that the basic secret to being an effective prophet, priest,
and king to my children is to have a vital relationship to
him as my prophet, my priest, and my king. As my mind is constantly
subject to his word, to know his will, then I in turn can
reflect that will to my children. As He is continually my priest
and I see His patience with me and His faithful intercession
for me, then I get courage to be patient with my children and
to be persistent in my prayers for them. And as I see the absoluteness
and the graciousness of His kingship over me, I am more and more prepared
to be the King with authority and with graciousness to my children. Now that's what God has constituted
every Christian parent with reference to his children. Now, any questions
before we move on to the task? Any questions? This makes sense. Yes, Jean? In the outworking of this relationship,
there is some distinction of administration. But together,
God has constituted them, prophets, priests, and kings. Now, how
the prophetic ministry is administered in some homes, where, say, you've
got a divided home, the wife has got to be almost totally
the prophet. See? In a situation where a man might
be a traveling salesman, she'll have the devotional life far
more consistently than the man. She has actually got to be the
instrument of the prophetic office. In normal situations, It's the
father who should be taking the lead in family worship, both
in the setting of the tone of it, the governing of it, and
the actual doing of it. So you see here, in the outworking
of these concepts, there will be difference. But certainly
each one is constituted of prophet, priest, and king, but the outworking
of it must be in terms of this other relationship of the head
and the one subject, you see. All right? Other questions? Yes, Bob? Yes, that's a good point. You
see, if it was rebellion to the father or the mother, indicating
that this authority is invested in the mother as well. Yes, we
had another question back here. Bud? Yes, I want to get into specifics.
But I want to get the concept first. You see, as I keep emphasizing,
most of our problems are down here. We say, boy, if only I
knew how to do this particular thing. But our problem is not
with the specific. It's that we haven't sufficiently grasped
the basic concept, you see. You take the parent who's squeamish
about discipline. We're going to deal next week
with the biblical principles of discipline. All of that, you
see, comes under these principles. In my discipline, I am revealing
the mind of God. I am conveying the means of grace. It says, beat him with the rod
and you'll deliver his soul from hell. Isn't that what a priest
does? Delivers people from condemnation. So my rod of correction is not
only a prophetic rod and a priestly rod, but it's a kingly rod as
well. So that everything else we're going to do in the details
is going to be hooked in and related to these basic concepts.
And you just need to pray and meditate upon them until the
Lord grips you with these things and you begin to feel the glory.
and the dignity of your role as a parent, and you're not scared,
you see, when the child barks or fusses or balks, and you've
got tremendous ground to pray for God's blessing upon the administration
of this threefold office. All right? Further questions?
Do we have any other questions? I see another hand. All right,
let's move on then to what I'm going to call the task by the command of God. We've looked at the position
that God has given us in his plan. Now what is our task? From this unique position of
being prophets, priests, and kings to our children, what is
our task with reference to them? And the way I want to approach
this aspect is, first of all, to give a summary of our task
in a broad overview And then I want to move in, in the second
place, to specific aspects of that task in some detailed description,
as Bud has suggested he would like to have it. All right? This
task, then, in a broad overview. Is there one verse, two verses,
that give us, in a nutshell, what our great overall task is
as we think of our children? There they are. And we look down
at them as parents. And we ask ourselves, what is
my great task? All right, granted I've got to
put food in their tummy and clothes in their back and smack them
once in a while to keep them in line and all the rest, but
when you sum it all up, what am I trying to do with these
little bundles of sinew and muscle and flesh and emotions and will
and desire and all the rest? What is my overall task? Does
anyone think of the verse that I'm going to suggest as being
a beautiful summary of every aspect of the task can come under
this one verse. All right, that reference is
Proverbs 22.6. You hit the thing right on the old kazoo. Proverbs
22.6. I have to remember this is going
on tape and may go other places. I better be a little less informal.
You people who listen to that on tape, you didn't hear that,
all right? Proverbs 22 and verse 6. It's terrible to have everything
you say embalmed in the... What goes on with those tapes,
Paul? What do you call the stuff? Oxide,
yes. Some men have everything they
say embalmed in printer's ink. Everything I say is embalmed
in oxide on a Mylar tape, all right? Proverbs 22.6, train up
a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he
will not depart from it. This word to train comes from
a verb which has as its root meaning to narrow, to choke So the concept is, narrow down
that child to the way that he should go. Now, what is the way
that he should go? The way that he should go is
the plan of God for the totality of his life. What was he made
to do or to be? What was she made to do and to
be? What is the chief end of man? To glorify God and to enjoy Him
forever. And how do we glorify God? By
doing His will. And so the object, then, of the
totality of our emphasis and influence upon our children is
to see them move into the way that they should go, which is
the way of God for every single circle of life's relationship. Now, how do you do that? It's
by training. Training brings in the whole
concept of process. Training brings in the whole
concept of development, the concept of patience, of example. When someone is trained for a
job, you don't think of someone who goes off for three hours
and suddenly comes back. The whole idea, you see, bound
up in that word, is the long-range, patient concept with development. And that, in summary statement,
is what our task is. God has made us prophets to reveal
the will of God, priests to bring them to God, kings to administer
the rule of God. To what end? That they might
be trained to go into the way of God in every area of life. The way it's stated in the New
Testament is in the concept of growth. Ephesians 6, 4, it says,
Fathers, rear your children or nourish your children in the
chastening and admonition of the Lord. When something is nourished,
which is the real meaning of that word, it is built up and
grows into that which it ought to be. Christ nourishes the Church
until the Church becomes that which he purposes it should be. As we nourish our children, it
is to the end that they may grow and develop into that which they
ought to be. Now, what is that total way of
life? We're still under the general
overview now. Let me give something that I
trust will be helpful, and use the diagrams again. Here we are
as mamas and papas, under God, first of all, in the
home. And we are seeking, in our relationship
to each other, to be scriptural. The husband taking the role of
the creative order and the redemptive pattern. The head, according
to creation, the head in a way that reflects the love of Christ
to the Church. There's the mama, In the light
of the word of God, taking her place of the creative order,
subject to her husband, reflecting the redemptive pattern as the
church is subject to Christ. Then they have other circles
of responsibility, which as Christians they are seeking to administer
and discharge in the light of the word of God. They are involved
in the life of the church. There they each seek to take
their place in that relationship with other brothers and sisters.
loving one another, forbearing with one another, etc. And then
they have another role of responsibility. It's their role in society at
large, the place of work, the business associates, the neighbors.
And in all of those relationships, they are seeking to be subject
to the revealed will of God, ordering their lives according
to the pattern of the Word, to the end, that in so doing, in
every relationship, They bring glory to God and fulfill the
very purpose for which they were made. Now, isn't that true of
you as a Christian? I'm not saying you attain this to its fulfillment,
but isn't that what you seek to do? You don't box off any
area and say, well, I'll take the will of God for my church
life, but not for my business life, my social contacts, society. No, not at all. Now, what is
your task as a parent? Here's little Junior and Junior
S. What are you doing as a parent?
What is your goal? Now listen carefully, and I hope
it'll stagger you, because it's the most staggering thought that
I have this responsibility. What is my task? Here it is.
Under God, as prophet, priest, and king, to be the instruments
in the hands of God, to see them trained in such a way nourished
in such a way that when they leave the circle of the home
and go out to form their own circle, he may take his God-given
role in the light of the Word as a husband, she may take her
God-given role as a wife, that he will have learned in this
context how to be a good father to his children, that she will
have learned in this context how to be a good mother to the
children, that they will have learned in this context how to
be good members of the church, how to take their role in society
so that they in turn, living every area under the revealed
will of God, may bring glory to God, and in turn bring such
influence upon these children that when they leave the circle
and they go out... You see what I'm doing? There
it is. And God says, that's what I know
about Abraham. He will command his children
in such a way that they will follow this path. Do you catch
the magnitude of your task? It is nothing less than training
that child for the totality of life's experience under the Lordship
of Christ and in the light of the revealed will of God. And
then people say to me, I'm just a housewife. I'm just a mother. or I'm just a carpenter, or I'm
just this. That's a pretty big job, isn't
it? Isn't that a pretty big job? And I go back to the words of
my dear mother, who said that so often when she was rearing
her ten children, she would pray, Oh God, keep the vision before
me. I'm rearing future fathers, future
mothers, Maybe future preachers, future missionaries, future society
members, future citizens of the kingdom of God. Lord, don't let
me fail to build in those principles that will make them adequate
for the time when they must be the husband, they must be the
wives, they must be the mamas and the papas, they must be the
deacons, they must be the church members, they must be the salt
and the light in society. And when that vision is somehow
implanted in the heart, then you roll up your sleeves and
you say, I've got quite a job ahead of me. I've got quite a job ahead of
me. And that's the task. It's inclusive. It's not just
to feed them, hope everything will go well. It includes all
of this. And it's also exclusive. I am
not going to allow my children to think that any area of life
is not touched upon by the Word of God. I'm not going to let
them think that the Word of God has something to say about the
church, but nothing to say about our role in society. I'm not
going to let them think that the Bible has something to say
about heaven, but nothing to say about husbands and wives
and how they treat each other and how they govern their children.
No, no. I am going to seek to exclude from the influences that
come to my children anything other than this, that they might
be blessed people who walk in the light of the revealed will
of God. Parents must make their choice,
quoting again from this man, Mr. Perry. Parents must make
their choice. They must either make the home
life and the home lessons, the home love and the home pleasures
more attractive, more winning than the street life, the street
lessons and the street friendships and the street amusements, or
else they need not wonder at the ruin of their sons and daughters.
God has given to parents a mighty instrument for good in the family
relationship, and if they will not avail themselves of its means,
they cannot blame providence when their children fall beneath
the power of vice. Can young men or young women
be blamed for the neglect of their paternal instruction or
their disobedience of mother's law when they've had neither
the one or the other with which to direct their steps? The nursery
or the school teacher furnish poor substitutes for the heaven-appointed
instructors of youth, and the child thus neglected in life's
springtime is withered and blasted ere that springtime has mellowed
into summer. I wonder if I should even go
on after setting that up. That's enough for us to chew
on for another hour, isn't it? When we realize that is our task. And you see, what you and I are
doing as parents, We are inevitably, by the sheer
force of the succession of day upon day, month upon month, year
upon year, and by the sheer natural laws of physical development,
we are hastening to the time when we're going to push the
children out of this circle and they're going to establish their
own. But are we pushing them out prepared to establish that
circle? I wish I could let you be a pastor
for a month. And you see the twisted adults that come. who find themselves totally inadequate
for this relationship, even though they've entered it. Totally inadequate
for this relationship, even though they've entered it. Totally inadequate
for this relationship, and why? Because back here, the influence
was not brought to bear to equip them for this. The church couldn't
make up the slack, and the church can't now. It's a heartbreaking
thing. May God grant that our children
will not add to the greatly increasing number of those who are going
out into those circles of relationships totally unprepared. Well, moving
then from this general summary, let me just touch very, very
quickly, and then, Bud, I'm not putting you off, but we're going
to specifically enlarge upon some of these things, like the
discipline aspect next week, and then the family worship and
some of these other things, as I mentioned in our first lesson.
What areas are to be trained for that future role? Well, think
of what the child is. What is this creature that mama and papa are seeking
to influence in this way? What is this little jack in this
little suit? Well, it's a physical creature.
It's got muscles, sinews, and physical energy. So, by training,
he's got to take into account that fact, they've got minds,
little thinkers, they've got wills, little willers, they've
got feelings, they have emotions, and they are creatures made in
the image of God with the capacity to know God. They have a spiritual
element, and though they are spiritually dead in Adam, they
are not stocks or stones or dogs, they are still redeemable creatures,
savable creatures. So then, The outworking of this
great task that we've looked at in overview means that my
training them in the way that they should go must take into
account all of those areas of development, and I must consciously
seek to labor at a balanced and proportionate influence towards
that development. The great verse that is the pattern
of all of this is a verse that speaks of our Lord Jesus Christ
as a true boy, as a true child, and as he developed in a true
and valid humanity, notice what is said of him in the last verse
of Luke chapter 2, Luke 2 and verse 52, and Jesus advanced
in wisdom, mental, intellectual development, and stature, physical
development, and in favor with God, spiritual development, and
with men, cultural or social development. So here we have
this picture of the Son of God as a true man being nourished
and nurtured, developing in mind, in body, in his spirit, and in
his social relationships. May I say there is the pattern
of our development of our children under the blessing of God? We
are to give them in the first place, then, spiritual training. That is, we are to seek to imbibe
in their minds right views of God, right concepts of authority,
the law of God, the fact that God has made us as parents not
just bigger physically, so we've got the right to strengthen because
we can handle them. No, no. Our physical size has
nothing to do with it. Otherwise, what are you going
to do when your teenage son looks down his nose at you? Well, if
you haven't established, you see, your right and responsibility
to discipline them on something other than the fact you're bigger
and can handle them, what's going to happen when you can't handle
them? You see, you're in trouble. You've got to imbibe right views
of themselves. What are they as creatures? right
views of the world, spiritual training, imbibing these right
views of God, of authority, of the law, of themselves, of the
world? If so, how are you going to do
this? May I say in answer to that question, the first thing
is consistent example. Consistent example. How do you
teach right views of authority? Well, when they see you as a
father reflecting what God says fathers are to be, if they see
you churlish with the wife and never apologizing, barking around
like some kind of a crazy dog and never repenting of it, you're
teaching them God's word has no binding authority. God says
husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, but you don't
seem to care too much about that for man, so you're teaching them
what God says really doesn't matter. You wives? You just go
ahead and talk back to your husband and say, no, I don't think you're
right on that. I think this is the way it ought to be done. You just
go around and flaunt your insubordination and know what you're telling
your kids? What God says really doesn't matter. Don't be surprised
if they don't listen to the preacher who says, thus saith the Lord!
And they say, yeah, yeah, I know, but he doesn't really mean it.
I see my mom and she doesn't submit herself to my dad. You think your kids don't reason
that way? You're kidding yourself. They
do. If we're to give proper spiritual
training, there must be consistent examples. Secondly, we must create
a climate of openness about spiritual things. Some of the most effective
training in the home comes in an informal way, even as our
Lord in his ministry with the disciples. Some of the most precious
lessons were triggered by the occasion of the moment. He hears
them arguing about who's going to be greatest in the kingdom.
So he girds a towel around him and picks up a basin and they
say, what in the world is he doing? I'll tell you what he's doing.
He's preaching the most powerful sermon. And you see the parent
who has created a climate of openness about spiritual things
will seize the opportunities that arise throughout the day
to impress spiritual lessons upon the children. But if you're
so materially minded yourself that you're not thinking about
life spiritually, then you can't create that climate with your
children. then you must, as a minimum, have some consistent family worship,
where you gather together as a family to pray, to read the
word of God, to read Christian literature, to memorize scripture,
to go over catechetical instruction. And I know all the arguments
and all the ifs, buts, ands, howevers, and all the rest, but
they're just a bunch of flimsy excuses. If you're determined
this is your responsibility, and God has made you the prophet
in that home, you may say, well, I sure don't know all I'd love
to know, but that makes no difference. God's made me the prophet in
this home, and I'm going to tell them what God says. And we're
going to read the Bible. If I don't even make any comment
on it, I'm going to read it and just ask a few questions. I'm going
to at least set the example of leading the family in the worship
of God in the study of the Scriptures. Well, I could enlarge more upon
that when we come to the last part of our study, the practical
problems. I want to take a whole section on giving you some practical
suggestions about family worship. But suffice it to say that this
total training must involve spiritual training, which in turn involves
example, a climate of openness, family worship, catechetical
instruction. When you discipline your children,
what a beautiful time to deal with them. Why do you act that
way? Why is it so easy to be nasty to your sister? Why is
it so easy for you to fight? Why? I don't know. Yeah, sure
you do. What's the matter? Well, maybe
it's because I've got a bad heart. Yeah, that's the reason. That's what
God said. Don't you think maybe you ought to pray about that?
See? Take the occasions of discipline to communicate. When thou walkest
in the way, God says, you talk about the Word. When thou liest
down, etc. Well, then, the second place,
there's got to be intellectual training. God says you're to
love me with the whole heart and with the whole mind. We've
got to show to our children the necessity of hard thinking, the
dignity of the human mind. Encourage them to think, to reason. And yet at the same time reminding
them that their minds must always act freely and vigorously within
the boundaries of the word of the living God. That God never
gave them a head in order that that head might damn them by
rejecting the authority of scripture. Now that means, practically speaking,
you've got to have, if you have a television set, you've got
to have a governed, controlled, disciplined use of the TV. Otherwise,
the mind will take the path of easiest resistance and the children
will be content to just passively sit and watch and never think. And you are not training them
to proper development of this great God-given faculty of the
mind. Secondly, you've got to have
a guided reading program. Your children left to themselves
will read comic books. You've got to guide their reading.
You've got to put the right literature in their hands. You've got to
seek to find the kind of literature that's suited to their age level
and whet their appetites to develop their minds, to make intelligent,
thoughtful readers of your children. Intellectual training. It's your
responsibility. Then there's the responsibility
of their physical training, to get them to understand early
in life that their body is a gift from God, to respect those built-in
laws of health. A mother should constantly be
reminding her little daughters that you'll be mummies one day.
In all probability you're going to be a mummy and you want to
have the best body possible in order to bear your children and
be strong to do all the things that a mummy has to do. To seek
to imbibe in that young man the concept of the dignity of his
body and that he ought to keep it as a precious trust from God. And when he comes up into the
age where he's conscious of his physical powers and his sexual
awakening of sexual desire and abilities, what a time to sit
down and do like the father does with his son in Proverbs. And
sit down as a father and tell him why God made him the way
he did. And God never made that body to be the companion of harlots
and to be dissipated in sexual escapades. The beauty of those
passages, like in Proverbs 5 and 7, is that it's a father entreating
his son to recognize the purpose and function of his body and
as well of his soul. So there should be physical training.
Then there should be the social or cultural training. We're sending
our children out into society to glorify God, into the church. We're sending them into another
home. This is why manners are not just some kind of thing that
Emily Post has imposed upon us. What are manners, but simply
what is proper in the interrelationship of people one with another? That
which shows that we respect one another when the gentleman opens
the door for the lady. He shows respect when he seats
his mother, when he seats his sister, when he knows how to
handle a fork and a knife properly. This is not just some kind of
uppity-uppity garbage. Jesus grew in favor with man. He learned to adapt himself to
the cultural demands of his own society that were not sinful. And you and I must. We must seek
to appreciate, give our children an appreciation of good music,
or they're going to love that jungle music. We want to make
them sensitive in the matter of relationships to people. It
takes time. It's a lot easier. Just let the
water run any direction it will run, and it will always seek
the lowest level. Just let their attitudes and actions run in
the natural direction, and it will always be in the direction
of selfishness. You see the fruit of it in our
day. Some stinky, unshaven, unkept guy, he doesn't care if I have
to sit next to him and smell his body odor, blow his cigar
smoke down my back. He doesn't care why, because
somewhere along the line, somebody didn't take time to tell him,
look, you're not just an individual, you're part of a whole structure
of human beings made in the image of God. And the scripture says
that we're to give honor to whom honor is due, and every fellow
creature has honor that is due to him as a creature made in
the image of God. and manners, and some of these
things are simply the expression of those things that are right
in relationship to our fellow men, and we've got to teach our
children these things. Now about this time you say,
boy, if that's what our job is, who is sufficient for these things? Well, we aren't. We aren't. But blessed be God, He is able
to make us what we ought to be in this area. That's our responsibility. The totality of their development,
and let me just put in this little bit of plug for Christian education,
because it fits so beautifully. Listen, if I appoint anyone as
my substitute for any area of this development, my substitute
must as closely reflect the biblical views that I am imposing upon
my children as is humanly possible. If I were developing the child's
mind exclusively in the home, and I were seeking to get him
to appreciate the beauty of the world about him, would I tell
him this is nature and that's nature? Of course not. I wouldn't
insult God that way. Any more than when a beautiful
meal is fixed, I'd say, well, it put it on the table. My wife
would get mad and kick her shoe at me, and rightly so. Well,
nature's just an it. And when the table of creation
is spread with such beauty to say, it put it there, that's
an insult. And I was just tickled pink when Joel jumped off the
couch almost a few weeks ago. We were watching a Walt Disney
nature film, and the narrator kept saying, nature, nature,
nature. And he said to me, Daddy, he said, that's an insult to
God. God did it. Why'd they have to say nature?
Well, you see, he was just parroting you. That's right. Maybe that's
all he was. At least he's gotten his noggin,
maybe someday God will get in his heart. Someone said to me the other
day something about, you know, he said, I heard your son pray,
and he said, I'm afraid he may be just imitating you. I didn't
say anything at the time, but I felt like saying, well, who do you
expect him to imitate? I hope he imitates me. That's why I
better be careful I'm praying scripturally. Maybe someday the
imitation will become participation. Right? Sure. Huh? Right, right. Well, I've gone over my time
and I'm going to try to be a good man tonight and stop. All right.
I try to set an example of being trustworthy. But really, I realize
you're out for an evening and I don't feel it's unethical to
do this. And I did want to at least give this broad overview.
Well, let's fire away with questions. I certainly have given you some
things to react to. Yes, Bill. But again, Bill, is it really
a new dimension? I'd say maybe here in Western
culture and in America, it's relatively new for us, but we've
had an unusual situation. The rest of the world, for almost
what we'd say the rest of the history of the Church, you look
at the early Church. Churches planted in a city like
Corinth, where immorality was not just something people did
in the parking lot of the drive-in movie, but it was a part of their
very worship. You had your temple harlots.
And when the husband goes up to worship, part of his worship
is going aside with a temple priestess. I mean, that's pretty
bad, isn't it? And the kid says to Mommy, Mommy,
where's Daddy? Oh, he's gone down to the temple to worship.
And he begins to get old enough to know what's involved in worship,
and he starts saying, Daddy, can I join you? I mean, you know,
this is the kind of situation it was. So I don't think it's
any different. basically than the situation
generally is. Now granted, America and Great
Britain, because of the great influence of the gospel, have
had an unusual insulation from much of that. But now we're coming
to the place where the rest of the world has been most of the
time. But the tremendous responsibility then, as this writer said, is
under God to make the biblical standards so winsome A kid can't
help but see the difference when he goes next door and he sees
a father who treats a wife like a piece of property, and then
he sees you treating your wife like a sweetheart. Down underneath
he can't help but say, or she can't help but say, boy, I sure
like it better the way Daddy does it. See? And even though
at the time there may be for the sake of not wanting to be
thought out of it with his peers, his fellow students, or her friends,
Down underneath, there's building a tremendous backlog of pressure
of respect. And then when they're in the
situation, this is where the faith comes in, in the life of
a Christian. You see, all of this must be carried out not
only under the direction of God, but in confidence that God is
going to bless our ministry as prophets, priests, and kings.
And we may not see all the fruit of it immediately. I think of
my own family, and I was the second oldest, you see, and I
practically was like a I was a big brother, but almost old
enough to be father to some of my brothers and sisters, and
when I saw some of the things they went through and the rest,
I wondered, boy, are they ever going to turn out right? You know, not
that they became great and wild, but you know, this rejecting
of mom and dad's standards and the rest, and yet, when they
got out of that circle and into theirs, almost invariably, the
patterns that they are adopting and reflecting are those patterns
that were stamped upon them there in the circle at home. I think
of my sisters, three of them who have their RN, And you know
how the great need of nurses and the good salaries nurses
get and the rest? But boy, the minute their husbands
come back from Vietnam, they have no desire but to start raising
their families and forget their careers. It's pretty well expressed
by what one of my sisters said when she was growing up and someone
asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said, I
want to be a big fat mom and have lots of kids. Well, my mother wasn't big and
she wasn't fat. But she was a mom who had lots of kids, and this
was her way of saying, I want to be like mom. Does that at
least answer to it in measure, Bill? And in the meantime, we
just need real wisdom, and there are no absolute answers as to
where we draw the line on issues that are real moral issues, and
where we, as it were, make sanctified concessions for the sake of keeping
rapport with our children. I personally would not lose my
rapport with my daughters over three shades of red, darker or
lighter on their lips. I personally would not. I wouldn't
judge someone else who said this much, no more, because what they're
going to do is going to put it on when they're behind your back
anyway and blot it off when they come home and you're forcing
them into hypocrisy. See? I believe I would draw the line
in areas in terms of who they're with, knowing where they are,
what they're doing, the time they're home. There are certain
areas of fashion I would insist that my daughters not wear two-piece
bathing suits. If it's right to wear a two-piece
bathing suit, it's right for a woman to go down the street
in her bra and her pants. I'm stating it pretty coarsely,
but that's exactly what she has on in a two-piece bathing suit. And I think we teach this when
they're young. It's always innocent. They're just little girls who
haven't developed. Oh yes, but you're teaching them,
you see, that it doesn't make any difference how much of the
body you expose. Modesty is taught very early. Not prudishness. I don't mean prudish. So they
look upon the body as sinful. And it's taught by the example
again of the parents, you see. All right, another question. Yeah, and then you just have
to keep being a priest and hold on to God for them. You still
can't be a prophet and a king to them once they leave the circle,
but you can still be a priest and pray that God will bring
back the things they heard. God will bring back. the things
they knew, and that God in mercy would even save the unsaved partner
of that relationship. But this is all you can do as
parents, when you've done all before God that you could do
with the grace that he gave, then you've got to leave the
issue with God. I still have one unconverted, one that we
know of unconverted brother, who's a grief to my mother and
my father. Oh, he's a good husband, he's a good father, he's a stable
wage earner, He's not out beering up and boozing it up and chasing
other women. He's what we would call one of
the silent majority, who's a good, upright, loyal, conservative
American citizen. But he's not a Christian. And
what our parents have sought to do is, Lord, where do we fail
and confess the areas of failure? And then they just have to say,
we can't go back and do it all over again. Lord, it is in your
hands and continue to plead for it. And that's all you can do. Have to come back to the fact,
Bud, that only God can do the work. We've got to do all we
can. Like Aaron in the Old Testament says, here's the parents who
did discipline the children, yet he still turned out a rebel.
See? Indicating that if children turn out rebels, we better be
awfully careful of saying it was the parents' fault. Now,
generally speaking, as a rule, where the parents do their job,
God blesses those efforts and gives them the joy of seeing
the