The following message was delivered
at the 1994 Trinity Baptist Church men's retreat. Now before we
pray and turn to this our last session together, I do want to
express sincerely my gratitude to each of you men who has come
to this retreat and for the evident way you have given yourself to
the hearing of the Word of God. Now I hope you have a pastor
who tells you, at least periodically, something of what an eager, responsive
listener gives to a preacher. Now you may think that that's
something hard to grasp, but it's true. And anyone who's a
preacher, not just a Bible talker or a manuscript reader, but a
preacher, who opens his own soul to the truth he's seeking to
bring to people and opens his soul to what that truth is doing
in those to whom he's bringing it will tell you that an attentive,
eager, responsive congregation is in great measure the making
of a preacher. And it's evident to me that you
men have come hungry thirsty, eager to receive the Word, and
as you have drawn it out of me, my own soul has not only been
stretched and wrung out, but it's been refreshed by your giving
of yourself to the preaching of the Word of God. And I trust
that whoever ministers to you, Lord's Day by Lord's Day, will
have the privilege that I've had in these few hours together,
and I do sincerely thank you for your godly attention to the
word of truth. Now let us pray and ask God's
blessing on this, our last session. Our Father, how our hearts have
been thrilled in the singing of this hymn, to know that by
your grace, a few more breaths, a few more beating of our hearts
within our breasts, and we shall join the church triumphant. Oh God, we thank you. And yet
while we are still here, and our ears hear the thunder of
cannon and the crack of the rifle, and while our eyes smart from
the smoke of battle, and while at times we grow weary, and at
times we yearn to retreat, We pray that your grace will enable
us to fight the good fight of faith and by your grace to be
overcomers and inherit all of the promises that you have given
to those who overcome. We pray now your blessing upon
this last session together. Help your servant to handle your
word responsibly. and under the unction of the
Holy Spirit and help these men to listen with ears and hearts
also under the present influence of the spirit of illumination,
the spirit of conviction, the spirit of power, the spirit who
testifies to the Lord Jesus. Oh, God, meet us and receive
our thanks for the blessings received from your hand in these
hours together. Accept our praise and hear our
petitions we plead, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. Now I don't believe we have anyone
with us in this session who has not been with us in at least
one of the previous two sessions, so I do not need to go through
any extensive review simply to say that our theme for these
few hours together has been the Christian man in a wicked society
and having sought to demonstrate from the scriptures that ours
is indeed a wicked society according to the biblical usage of that
terminology in the previous hour I sought to lay before you the
heart of the Christian man's duty in a wicked society, and
I expressed that duty under two major heads. The Christian man
must seek to avoid the wickedness of this wicked generation in
not allowing it to influence his thinking or his actions in
any area. stated positively, the Christian
is to seek to be transformed in all of his thinking and patterns
of life in conformity to the standards of God. Now were I
to have another ten messages, I would like to address some
critical areas that, in my judgment, are of supreme importance to
us as men seeking to glorify God in our present wicked society. I would like to address the biblical
concept of godly manhood. The steel and the velvet that
must be found in true Christ-like manhood. I would like to address
the biblical view of work and labor and Sabbath, the biblical
view of recreation, entertainment, the biblical view of money and
things and godly ambition, the biblical view of courtesy and
manners, a host of things in which There is so little common
grace in our day that is the influence at large in society
to shape our thinking in the direction of biblical norms that
when God is pleased to reach down and save the wrecks of this
wicked society, many times they come into the Christian faith
bereft of some of the most elementary issues that will make them into
balanced, godly, competent Christian men who can glorify God as husbands,
as fathers, and in the place of their calling in life. However,
I don't have ten more sessions. I have just the remains of this
last session, and that's about 50 minutes of remains, and I
must limit myself to address one very critical area. And because we live in a generation
which has utterly thrown out all semblance of sensitivity
to the revealed will of God in this area, both with God's revelation
in nature, or what the theologians call general revelation, and
also in special revelation, the Bible, I am constrained to address
this particular subject, and I trust the married men will
not think that I'm somehow obsessed with this subject, for remember
that extra session was not something originally planned. And the issue,
as you perhaps already anticipated, is the issue of a biblical view
of human sexuality. If it is our duty in a wicked
generation to reject all thinking and actions that are framed by
that wicked generation, and to have our thinking and actions
transformed after the pattern of God's standard, then surely
we will make very little progress in becoming the men God would
have us to be if we do not have a well-established biblical grasp
upon God's perspective on human sexuality. And I'd like to break
down what I desire to set before you into several headings. First
of all, I want to address the matter of a biblical view of
sexual identity and function. A biblical view of sexual identity
and function and then secondly a biblical view of sexual purity
and integrity. Now, with respect to this matter
of sexual identity and function, there are three things that we
need to have as part and parcel of the stuff of a biblical mindset. And the first is, we must be
convinced of the origin of our sexuality in God's wise, loving,
creative design. We must think of our human sexuality
in terms of its origin in God's wise, loving, creative design. You see, our generation has gone
crazy over sex. and is drowning itself in a glut
of sex and will take itself to hell amidst its illicit and base
commitment to ungodly sex fundamentally because it does not view human
sexuality for what it is, namely, an expression of God's loving,
wise, creative design. a hundred years of telling people
that they are nothing but animals whose ancestry can be traced
back into the creatures that hop around in the bush and ultimately
to the pool of primeval slime if you tell people long enough
that they are nothing but animals eventually they'll take it seriously
enough and act like animals And animal sexuality is a matter
of pure biological urges. There is no morality to the sexuality
of an animal. and therefore what we are witnessing
in our generation is just one of the many expressions and outworkings
of a society that is wrong with respect to its origins in the
special creative activity of God. When people tell you, well,
why be so fastidious about the opening chapters of Genesis that
deal with how we got here, the important thing is that we're
here and what we do now that we're here. Our origins are unimportant. It's our identity and our function
that's important. But you see, the fallacy in that
thinking is that according to the Bible, our origins determine
our identity and our function. Therefore, the Bible begins where
we must begin, in the beginning God created the heavens and the
earth. and in Genesis 1 26 and following
we read God said let us make man in our image and after our
likeness and in the image of God created he him male and female
created he them and as we saw in the previous hour in Genesis
2 in the latter part of the chapter God gives us the specifics of
how he went to great pains to create the man out of the dust
of the ground, and to give him his task, his calling in life,
let him feel acutely his incompleteness without his counterpart, Then
God takes not of the handful of the dust which he could have
done to create the counterpart, but puts Adam to sleep, takes
one of his ribs, creates a counterpart that answers to his need, brings
that woman to the man, and he says, this is now bone of my
bone, flesh of my flesh. And in those words, where we
have the origin of human sexuality in God's wise, loving, creative
design is the foundation of all right thinking about our own
sexuality. Until it is seen as that which
grows out of our unique identity as image-bearers of God, we will
not think rightly about human sexual identity and function. and therefore in your own thinking,
and in the instruction of your children, and in the discussion
of this matter with others, insist upon this foundational principle. But then secondly, our sexual
identity and function not only has its origin in loving, wise,
creative design, It has its interpretation in the Creator's Word and actions. It has its interpretation in
the Creator's Word and action. Now, what do I mean by that?
Well, simply this, that God did not, having made Adam and Eve,
male and female simply leave them to their biological urges
but the scripture says no sooner did he make them in his own image
but that he blessed them and said unto them be fruitful and
multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it Surely Adam and
Eve were made with sexual urges and desires, but God did not
leave them to simply follow their urges. He gave them explicit
propositional, revelatory data telling them how those urges
were to find expression and to what end. He commands them to
be fruitful and to multiply, and it is the Creator's Word
which defines the limits and sets the parameters for human
sexuality, so that when we come to the Ten Commandments, where
God's moral law binding upon all creatures in all places in
all times, God says you shall not commit adultery. My original design of giving
one man to one woman, and within the sanctity of the marriage
covenant, to find sexual fulfillment and intimacy, that is not to
be violated. The tenth commandment, you shall
not even desire your neighbor's wife. Thou shalt not covet, and
God gets specific, you shall not covet your neighbor's wife. And therefore, throughout the
Scriptures, in a host of other passages, some of which we considered
in the previous hour, it is God who has, by His Word, interpreted
our sexuality and told us how it is to function. but he has
also done this by his actions why did God go to the trouble
of doing what he did is recorded in Genesis 2 and then tell us
about it well when you turn to 1st Corinthians 11 and 1st Timothy
2 and 1st Corinthians 14 three passages that are dealing with
various aspects of sexual function within the church in each of
those passages there is a direct reference made in the first two
explicit only inferred in first Corinthians 14 saith not the
law also the same and one may question what part of the law
but in first Corinthians 11 Paul establishes the fact that there
is a divinely instituted hierarchy. You have the man over the woman,
you have Christ over the man, and you have God over Christ. And he establishes that hierarchy
in terms of what God did as recorded in Genesis 2. For he says the
man was not made for the woman, but the woman was made for the
man. God did not say, it is equally
true that it is not good for the woman to be alone and the
man to be alone. I'll give them to each other.
No. He said it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make
a helper answering to his need. And according to the Spirit's
interpretation through the mind and pen of the Apostle, the Creator's
action interprets the will of God with respect to sexual roles
and relationships and functions. Similarly in 1 Timothy 2, Paul
says, I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority
over the man. Why? For the man was created
first and then the woman and in God's action we are to understand
the mind and will of God with respect to the relative roles
of leadership and submission and so as a general principle
if we are to think biblically and not allow the world to squeeze
us into its mold And if we are more and more to be extricated
from those areas where our thoughts and our actions are still influenced
by this wicked generation, we must, if we are to have a biblical
view of sexual identity and function, constantly remind ourselves that
human sexuality has its origin in loving, wise, creative design,
and it has its interpretation in the Creator's word and action. To put it bluntly, sexuality
is God's idea, and He knows why He made it. that's the issue
at the end of the day God knows why he made us male and female
and his intention in so doing well that very briefly is a framework
for thinking biblically concerning human sexuality and sexual identity
now then secondly I want to spend the remainder of our time on
the heading of sexual purity and integrity and in opening
up this theme I want first of all to give a very quick overview
of the dominant place that sexual purity and integrity has in the
Word of God first of all in the Old Testament and then in the
New and then secondly I want to give a distillation of the
teaching of the Word of God in seven principles or propositions
which I believe accurately reflect the overarching teaching of the
word of God. How dominant is this matter of
sexual purity and integrity in the scriptures? Well, as we saw
in the previous hour, when we open up our Bibles, the account
of creation is consummated with the man and the woman in total
nakedness before God and before one another in the shameless
embrace of marital love and intimacy. God sets sexuality before us
in the opening pages of His Word. And then when he's describing
how wickedness reached such heights in the period of the flood, it's
interesting that the introduction of that whole period of declension
started when, the word I want is not coming,
when beauty pageant measurements began to determine the choice
of marriage partners rather than godliness. The whole account
of the degeneracy that resulted in God's judgment in the flood
begins with these words. It came to pass when men began
to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born
unto them, that the sons of God, that is, the godly line of Seth,
saw the daughters of men, that is, the daughters of that line
that had its origins in Cain that were godless, that were
utterly irreligious, they saw the daughters of men that they
were fair, and they took them wives of all that they chose. When sexual urges ceased to be
sublimated to the interest of godliness, then the floods of
wickedness were opened and eventually resulted in the inundation of
the whole earth in a flood of judgment. The record of Cain's
descendants sees the loss of the integrity of monogamy It
is Cain in chapter 4 who is the first bigamist. And he brags
about it in verse 19. Lamech took unto him two wives. The name of the one was Ada,
and the name of the other was Zillah. In verse 23, And Lamech
said unto his wives, Ada and Zillah, hear my voice, ye wives
of Lamech. And then there follows upon his
bigamy, his brutality, for when men begin to throw over all that
is involved in the sensitivity of living with one woman, in
the commitment of marital fidelity, it is not long before they throw
over the canons of decency and sensitivity and other human relationships,
and Cain the bigamist becomes Cain the brutal murderer. And we read further on, and there's
only one major blot in the life of Noah. Remember what it was?
He got drunk after the fall, and in his drunkenness his inhibitions
were down, and he was in a state of nakedness. And though there
was sin on the part of one of his sons, nonetheless, he was
guilty of that which is unseemly and shameful. And when the Old
Testament law is given amidst the many things that God forbids
of His people, in Leviticus 18, 3-5, in 19-23, in Leviticus 20,
12, God has to forbid incest, forms of unnatural uncleanness,
bestiality, homosexuality. God has to deal very explicitly
with these forms of sexual deviation. And when we read our Old Testaments,
what can we say of the shameful rape of Tamar by Amnon, her half-brother,
the grievous sin of David with Bathsheba, Solomon whose heart
is turned away from the living God by women, the warnings of
the Book of Proverbs, and the notes that the prophets sound
again and again saying that Israelites went in troops to harlot's houses,
My dear brethren, the Old Testament is full of the indication of
God's concern for sexual purity and integrity. His crying out
against the indifference to the canons of that purity and that
integrity. And when we come to the New Testament,
it's no different. In the Sermon on the Mount, our
Lord applies the law. Thou shalt not commit adultery
to looks of lust and speak some of his strongest words. In Matthew
5, 27 and following, he addresses the issue of the sanctity of
marriage and of the sexual union in Matthew 19, 1. and in the
many categories that list sins, both by our Lord, in Mark 7,
20 and following, and by the Apostle, 1 Corinthians 6, 9,
Galatians 5, 19-21, Revelation 21, 8, three of the most complete
list of the categories of sins for which God will bring judgment
upon people, and in all of them, sexual sins are dominant, if
not placed at the head of the list. And what of John the Baptist
who loses his head for saying it was not lawful for a certain
man to have another man's wife? He stuck his nose into another
man's bedroom and said God has a right to direct what goes on.
The council at Jerusalem that is going to give guidance to
the infant churches about the precise relationship of Gentile
Christians to the law of Moses. Wasn't it interesting that in
addition to addressing that, they also said we should write
to the Gentile churches, commanding them to abstain from things strangled
and from blood and from fornication. Fornication was thought no more
evil than a man sneezing when his nose itched. And so they
had to write to the churches and a cyclical letter went out
in which sexual purity was one of the dominant notes. And when
we turn to the epistles, 1 Corinthians 6, Colossians 3, 5 and following,
Ephesians 5, 3 to 6, 1 Thessalonians 4, 1 to 8, Hebrews 13, 4, 2 Peter
2, 14, Jude 7, Revelation 2, 20, and that's only a sampling,
brethren. The Bible, Old and New Testaments
makes it plain that sexual purity and integrity is a matter of
great concern to God. Now having given that altogether
too brief and too hurried overview of the dominant place of this
issue in the Word of God, let me attempt in the time that remains
to give you a distillation of the teaching of the Bible that
reflects this negative positive teaching that must grip our minds
and mold our lives. Number one, When we look to our
Bibles and say, how should I think about sexuality with respect
to virginity and marriage? What does the scripture tell
us? It tells us this in no uncertain terms. Virginity of mind and
body must be an uncompromising standard until marriage. Virginity of mind and of body
must be an uncompromising standard until marriage. Virginity of
mind, Matthew 5, 27, whosoever looks to lust has committed adultery
already in his heart. And then the great example of
one who refused it in mind and practices Joseph, Genesis 39
and verse 7, How shall I do this great wickedness and sin against
God? Potiphar's wife had the hots
for Joseph, and whether he was wise to let her make known her
desires and not go immediately to her husband, I question Joseph's
action. I personally believe he ought
to have gone immediately, but the Bible is silent. That's a
judgment call. But this we know. When she became
so desperate and frustrated that she physically laid hold of him,
and had she the strength, she would have raped him. He ran and left his coat in her
hands. He didn't drop on his knees and
pray. There's a time when praying is tempting God. You run! And as you run, pray. Amen. Second great principle that distills
the teaching of the Bible is this. Deliberate avoidance of
anything which leads to mental or physical fornication or adultery
is mandated by God. Deliberate avoidance of anything
which leads to mental or physical fornication or adultery is mandated
by God. 1 Corinthians 6 18. Flee fornication. There are some sins, the nature
of them is such you cannot flee from the occasions of them. If
your besetting sin is the sin of envy, at the gifts of someone
who stands before you every single Sunday and leads in the worship,
or teaches the adult Sunday school class. You can't run from that
occasion of sin because it is your duty to be present in the
public worship as a member of an assembly. And so you've got
to wrestle with that along other lines. But with respect to these
matters of sexual sin, whether fornication or adultery, the
scripture says, flee, run from fornication. You're not going
to fornicate in the middle of Main Street. You single men, you wouldn't
fornicate in the living room of one of your church members
if you knew they were in the house. And I marveled that among
Reformed Baptist people, single couples are found in each other's
apartments. And then they come and tell their
sad story, we went too far. Well, what do you expect? Flee! Fornication! Stay away from any physical circumstances
that would leave you vulnerable, not only to physical fornication
or adultery, but mental fornication or adultery. If you can't go
to the 7-Eleven store or to the Quick Check to buy a paper without
your eyes glancing at the porno shelves, don't go to the Quick
Check! It won't do to be praying, O
Lord, help me this time not to look. You know you're going to
look. Now stop playing games. Or nowhere else to get a paper,
then don't get one. You won't go to hell ignorant
of what's in the paper, but if you're a deliberate mental adulterer,
you'll go to hell. So stop whining and start fleeing. deliberate avoidance of anything
that leads to mental or physical fornication or adultery is mandated
by God. Thirdly, any auto-eroticism,
that self-terminating sexual stimulation, in the poor man's
language that's masturbation. Any auto-eroticism is a perversion
of God's design and contrary to the will of God. Now I know
there are certain Christian leaders who would cry out, that's not
so, but I believe the Bible's case is clear. When I read in
1 Corinthians 7 to avoid pornia, to avoid sexual impurity, what
does he say? Sublimate your sexual drives
by self-terminating sexual stimulation? He says no. Get a wife. The outlet
for sexual burning is not playing with yourself. The outlet is
the sanctity of the sex act in marriage. If a man burns, he
says, it is better to marry than to burn with sexual passion. That text alone, as far as I'm
concerned, bears the weight of that principle. Any auto-eroticism
is a perversion of God's design and contrary to the will of God.
But go to the deeper issue, the very nature of our sexuality. God made the man for the woman
and the woman for the man. And in Romans 1 we read, leaving
the natural use of the woman, they burned in their lust one
to another. The principle is that does not
nature itself teach you that sexuality is not to be self-terminating. I have been given my male sexuality
that I might render to my God-given wife her due, not render to myself
my due. And she has been given her feminine
sexuality that she might render to me her due and though feminism
has almost deified masturbation amongst women in their vicious
attempt to say as a woman you don't need a man for anything
that's what lies behind the glut of books being produced almost
rhapsodizing on the benefits of masturbation amongst women
It's the feminist attempt to say, you don't need a man for
anything, even your deepest sexual fulfillment. And that's the philosophical
drive behind it. But against all of that, we dare
to say auto-eroticism, self-terminating sexual stimulation, is a perversion
of God's design. Contrary to the will of God,
I personally believe it fits under the category that is not
often discussed when these things are brought forward you have
moikoia, adultery, pornea you have fornication and sexual impurity
but you also have another Greek word used akatharsia translated
uncleanness in Galatians 5.19 in Romans 1.24 and I believe
this is one of the sins that fits in the category of uncleanness
Cleanness. Fourth principle. If you're taking
notes, hope you got lots of ink in your pen, because this is
a mouthful. But you are men, you're not boys, you're not kids,
and I want you to have this so you can break it down with your
own children and due course. Heterosexual. Hetero coming from the Greek
word heteros, other. one of the opposite sex, heterosexual, monogamous, mono, one, one wife, one partner, heterosexual,
monogamous, permanent marriage is the only God-ordained context
for God honoring sexual intimacy, and all that precedes it. Heterosexual, monogamous, only
one, permanent, but God hath joined together, let not man
put ascender, Marriage is the only God-ordained context for
God honoring sexual intimacy and all that precedes it, and
by that I am referring to caressing, sexual foreplay, and those matters
connected with those terms. We see this in creation, We see
it in the Song of Solomon, we see it in 1 Corinthians 7, 1-5,
we see it in Hebrews 13, 4, marriage is honorable in all, and the
bed, what bed? The bed of a duly constituted,
monogamous, heterosexual marriage, and the bed undefiled. The Bible knows nothing of trial,
bedding down. The Bible knows nothing of so-called
constructive incest, books being written to tell fathers, you
are the most natural one to introduce your daughter to her budding
sexuality, and actually promoting this. That is what is out there,
men. I don't read the books, but I
read the things that review the books and say what's being printed. That's the wickedness when you
will have men who will rationalize in their consciences that to
deflower their daughters was a noble act of parenting. Be not conformed to this world.
Would to God in my study of a reformed baptist church, I've never had
to deal with fathers or grandfathers playing with their daughters
or their granddaughters. But I've had to. And let him
who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. Settle in your
mind that anything that is erotic stimulation of any kind is legitimate
only in heterosexual, monogamous, permanent marital commitment. Settle that! And then any kind
of physical contact you have with any woman, from your own
daughters to sisters in the church, the moment you feel that twinge
in your crotch, back off! You don't. You let that little
glow and ember of illicit sexual pleasure take root and you don't
know what you will do. Fifth principle. Marriage partners
must make conscience of fulfilling each other's legitimate sexual
needs. That's the fifth great principle
found in the scriptures. Marriage partners must make conscience
Do you pray only when you feel like it? No! You pray as a matter
of conscience. Do you go to church only when
you feel like it? No! It's a matter of conscience. I have God-given duty. When duty
merges with delight, and when delight precedes and follows
duty, hallelujah! But when nothing but dullness
goes before duty, and nothing but dullness come behind duty,
I far rather confess that I did my duty with a dull heart than
have to confess I had a dull heart and also failed to do my
duty. Now I've got double sin. Now
that's what I mean about making conscience. Marriage partners
must make conscience of fulfilling each other's legitimate sexual
needs. And though my nest is empty and
my children are all grown, I'm the second oldest of ten kids,
so I've always been around little kids. I'm not so far removed
that I can't remember what it was like and the pressures of
little ones all under five years of age. Yes, it's not easy. Sickness comes and seems to make
the rounds through the house. But listen, brethren, if you're
convinced that this is a matter of duty, You will so order the
priorities of time and recreation and all the other variables that
in the midst of all of the pressures of life, this aspect of your
relationship with your wife will be a wonderful haven of retreat
and be a means of God to keep you from being vulnerable to
sexual impurity. Marriage partners must make conscience
of fulfilling each other's legitimate sexual needs. Principle number
six. Marriage partners must jealously
guard the sacred sanctuary of their sexual intimacy. Marriage
partners must jealously guard the sacred sanctuary of their
sexual intimacy. Job did this when he said in
Job 31, 1, I have made a covenant with my eyes that I should not
look upon a maiden, indicating that had he made no such covenant
as a red-blooded man, he would have found himself drawing visual
delight from the body of someone other than his wife. God could
say to the old man Ezekiel in Ezekiel 24 16, this day I will
take away from you the desire of your eyes. Of all the ways
he could describe Ezekiel's wife. He said, you lusty old man, I'm
going to kill your wife. He didn't say the delight and
desire of your heart. He said, I'm going to take away
the desire of your eyes. I love the earthiness of the
Bible. God knew that Ezekiel still looked at his wife with
that look in his eye. He said, this day I'm going to
take away the desire of your eyes. And Ezekiel didn't have
to say, which one, Lord? Only one was the desire of his
eyes, and that was the wife of his youth. The passages in Proverbs
5, 15 to 21, the Song of Solomon, Jealously guard the sacred sanctuary
of your sexual intimacy by watching your eyes. Secondly, by being
very careful about what you say to anyone about your intimate
relationship to your wife. It should not be a subject of
group conversation when the guys get together. That's to allow
an invasion into a sacred sanctuary. That's not being approved. That's
being a noble man who does not allow the eyes of others to enter
the sanctuary of his bedroom by means of careless conversation. Establish it as a principle that
you will never discuss with another person anything to do with your
intimate life without the full consent of your wife. and that, if at all possible,
with a proven, mature saint, a pastor, an elder, jealously
guard the sacred sanctuary. And finally, singles and married
Christians alike must resist all influences that mock, erode,
or undermine these standards that I've articulated. Singles
and married Christians alike must resist all of the influences
that mock, erode, or undermine these standards that I've articulated. What am I talking about? I'm
talking about the vast majority of TV sitcoms. I'm talking about
all of the soaps I'm talking about the majority of popular
magazines. I'm talking about the majority
of popular music, particularly country music, because this is
what happens. Follow closely. If you can listen
as entertainment to that which is a flaunting of these standards,
that which speaks of adultery and infidelity as the theme of
the lyrics in the song, that is the subplot or the overt plot
of the sitcom or the movie, whatever it is you're watching on the
TV or on your VCR, what you look upon without shock and grief
and holy hatred, it will not be long before accepting it as
something that's no big deal in your own emotional and spiritual
response, you have let down the barriers to be vulnerable to
those very sins. The psalmist said, I esteem all
of thy precepts concerning all things to be right. Therefore,
I hate every false way. And if you're truly esteeming
God's precepts to be right, you'll hate every false way. And when
you cease to hate the false way, it won't be long before you'll
be vulnerable to the false way. and I'm convinced that many a
man who never never thought he would descend to a frightening
addiction to pornography and eventually even to infidelity
to stooping to plunking out his fifty bucks for a harlot in a
one hour stand and I've had to deal with men I have no doubt
are Christians over the years who have done all of those things
and more I'm not talking as a theorist The first time they sat and watched
a movie because it had some action or had a plot that was innocent
in itself and was of interest to them, but the subplot was
infidelity. And because they couldn't mortify
the lust for that which was legitimate, they opened their soul to see
the illegitimate and the illicit. And there was no shock and horror.
There was sort of a grudging toleration. But the next time
the toleration was easier. And what's happening there is
an eroding of the internal spiritual vigor of hating the false way
when it's out there objectively seen. And before long, it's not
hated in the heart. Then there's the vulnerability,
vulnerability to the pornography. And after a while, the fantasies
aren't enough. And then you've got to pursue
them. And then a Christian man is found picking up a hooker. Say that just can't happen. Don't
be so willfully naive. If the man after God's own heart
rises from his bed at even tide and looks and lusts and lays
and then murders, who in God's name do you think you are that
you can look and look and look and look and never have it catch
up with you? Let him who thinks he stands
take heed, lest he fall. Well, in closing, what word do
I have for some of you who may be enmeshed in some form of sexual
bondage and deviation? My word to you is this. Get honest
with God and get honest with some trusted spiritual guide
and get the whole mucky mess out. For he that covers his sins
shall not prosper. And remember, a day is coming
when what is done in secret, Jesus said, shall be shouted
from the rooftops. The scripture says, confess your
sins one to another and pray one for another. And as ashamed
as you may feel, listen to this text. All manner of sin and blasphemy
shall be forgiven the sons of men, except blasphemy against
the Holy Ghost. And as I understand it, blasphemy
against the Holy Ghost is a settled disposition to attribute the
patent work of Christ to the devil himself. And I do not believe
there's any man here who's committed that sin. Therefore, all manner
of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven. That sordid closet
full of addiction to pornographic magazines, and perhaps you've
even sneaked into peep shows, and you've gone by so-called
adult bookstores, and even your wife doesn't know of your patterns
of secret masturbation and all the rest, my dear brother, there
is forgiveness all manner. of sin and blasphemy shall be
forgiven, but you must confess and forsake. If you're enmeshed, you need
no longer be enmeshed. Whom the Son sets free is free
indeed. And if you're a Christian man
who, by the grace of God, in spite of all of the rotten influences
that were brought to bear upon you in your childhood, in the
absence of positive biblical instruction, God has saved you
and put your feet in a path of purity. And though you're haunted
with the memories, in a sense, some of you don't need to pick
up a pornographic flick. You can just push a button in
your brain and you've got reels of it. And you're the actor. in the reals and my heart breaks
for you I've thought more than once in situations of intimacy
with my own wife I thank God I have no memory of ever having
another woman there and my heart breaks for some of you that must
struggle with the horrible flashing upon the walls of your mind of
the memory of past experiences but remember my dear brother
Christ is forgiven and cleansed, and by degrees He can scrub the
walls. And by the power of His grace,
you can be a man who knows sexual integrity and purity by the renewing
and the restorative grace of God. And I plead with you, if
you're a father, Be your sons' and daughters' chief sex educator. By the climate that you create
in your home of a wholesome, happy, playful, biblical, sexual
intimacy with your wife, chastely expressing your affection for
her before the children in ways appropriate to the kitchen and
to the living room and to the dining room, and then carry with
you out of your bedroom that glow, which as they get older,
they'll know where it came from. It's wonderful when kids have
to walk by a mom and dad in a clinch by the kitchen sink and say,
oh, you two at it again. Oh, they love it. And they're
getting a marvelous sex education. And then as they get older, you'll
be the one that tells your sons and daughters what these strange
powers are that are beginning to emerge in their emerging womanhood
and manhood. You be the one to sit down with
the book of Proverbs and warn them of the sins and the temptations
that now lie before them. I trust you'll have the joy as
I did with one of my own daughters the week before she was married.
I came down from a counseling session went into my bedroom
to get my nightclothes on and she was kind of hanging around
and I said, What is it, honey? She said, Dad, I just realized
in a week's time I won't be able to come into the bedroom and
talk to my dad, be my husband. And so fully clothed, I lay down
on the bed on top of the covers. She lay down next to me and put
her head in the crook of my shoulder and snuggled up to me. And I
first of all said, Lord, thank you that my daughter can come
to marriage. and feel absolutely comfortable
snuggling up to her dad on his own bed because there never had
been any kind of illicit erotic interaction. And then as we began to talk
and I began to tell her in a discreet way what this new dimension of
her life would mean to think that as a father I could speak
to my daughter under the eye of God and in the presence of
God, one of the most precious moments in my life. Having picked
up the facts of life in the street, I'll never forget, it's as vivid
as though it were yesterday, I could take you to Stanford,
Connecticut, to the corner where some kid told me what my father
had to do to my mother to get me started. I was ready to go
home and beat him up. and I determined never will my
kids get it that way. I can remember the morning when
in the Saturdays when I would have extra devotions with my
son going through the book of Proverbs and he began to ask
the questions. No longer was he satisfied to
know where babies came from. The daddy planted the seed and
the mummy wanted to know how the daddy planted the seed. I
said now it's time to sit and go through Susie's babies, that
little book. And in the midst of it, he had
some questions about the physiology of a man. And I took down my
anatomy chart and showed him how God put him together, and
I'll never forget him saying, Dad, isn't it great how God's
made us? And we got on our knees in my study and thanked God for
the way he had made us. Though some of you know the subsequent
history of my son has been enough to break an angel's heart, I
thank God that I have a clear conscience. that it isn't because
I was prudishly and sinfully silent and carnally reserved
about doing what a dad's supposed to do and being the holy, sanctified,
wise sex educator of his children. What chance are they going to
have to get the biblical view if you don't impart it by example
in priesthood? What chance do they have? God
help us. God help us. Our Father, we thank you for
your holy word. And we thank you that as you've
called us to walk no longer as the Gentiles walk in the vanity
of their mind, as you have called us to walk, not being conformed
to this world, but transformed by the renewing of our minds
We thank you that your word is sufficient to do that work in
this delicate but vital area of human sexuality. And we pray
that this company of men will indeed think your thoughts after
you and reflect your norms in their lives and that we may in
this way be salt and light in our generation. Thank you for
these hours together. Thank you, our Father, that in
the midst of an age of grievous religious apostasy, you are still
creating a hunger in the hearts of some for the pure preaching
of the Word, creating a hunger that these men would take time
out of busy schedules to come, knowing that their consciences
would be plowed up and their minds stretched putting out money
and time to have dealings with you. Lord, we rejoice that you
have not utterly forsaken us. Oh, that your work may increase
and abound, and that we may yet see a turning to yourself in
a wide-scale measure. that would cause us to say with
the psalmist when the Lord turned the captivity of Zion, we were
like unto them that dream, then was our mouth filled with laughter
and our tongue with singing, then said they among the nations,
the Lord has done great things for us, whereof we are glad. Watch over us now as we make
our way to our homes for the brethren who have greater distances
to travel. Protect them. Grant that we may
be refreshed. May our wives and children know
that we have been with you. And may your glory descend upon
all of the assemblies represented here this afternoon. Oh, may
the churches know the living, mighty presence of the Spirit
himself. hear our cry, receive our thanks,
and Lord, whatever has been sinful in the preacher's words, in our
listening, in our responses, oh, wash us afresh in the blood
of your dear son, and may we rest joyfully in the knowledge
that we are accepted in the beloved one. We ask in his worthy name. Amen.