In Genesis chapter 26 and verse
34, just a couple of verses right at the end of Genesis chapter
26. And Esau was 40 years old when
he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beri the Hittite and Bashemath
the daughter of Elon the Hittite. which were a grief of mind unto
Isaac and to Rebekah. Amen. May the Lord bless these
words to our hearts. I don't know if there is anyone
listening who's about to get married. Probably not. But I thought it would be useful
to take this opportunity of these last two verses of chapter 26
just to mention a few things about relationships and marriage
as it is spoken of in the Bible. Because the Bible is our guide
and the Bible is our rule in all matters of life. And we may
be older, with a lot of experiences, of life and of relationships
and yet there are still things to learn and we may be younger. and have questions about what
our life will be like and who will we spend our time with and
what will happen when we grow up and life changes. And these
things are useful for us to dwell upon because they remind us that
the Word of God has things to say to us if we have ears to
hear. Esau, we're told, was 40 years
of age when he married. So he was the same age as his
father Isaac. Isaac was 40 years too. But unlike
Isaac, Esau did not respect his father's wish, we may assume,
to seek a wife from his own people. but rather he took a wife or
wives indeed from amongst the people, the heathen nations where
the family of Isaac dwelt. We're told here that he married
two wives. This may have been at the same
time or it may have been one after the other. And later he
even married more people, more women from amongst the Canaanite
peoples, the Hittites and the Hivites. And we're told something
interesting about these marriages. We're told that the girls were
a grief of mind to Isaac and Rebecca. That means that they
brought sadness with them into the family. When they came into
the family of Isaac and Rebecca, when the relationships were formalised,
there was a sadness that settled upon the household. And that's
interesting because the taking of husbands and wives of the
heathen nations is often presented in the Bible as being folly to
the Lord's people. And that might be what is being
suggested here in these words before us. But I think, too,
that there's another dimension to this. Because I think that
what this meant to Isaac and Rebecca was that it fixed the
wickedness of Esau and the carelessness of Esau and the evil impulses
that Esau had as an ongoing reality in their family and in their
son. It showed to Isaac and Rebekah
that Esau didn't care about the Lord, that he had no mind or
thought about the covenant that had been made with Abraham and
with Isaac, that he didn't really care about the relationships
and sentiments of his family and that personally he was a
man without faith. And these things were reinforced
when Esau took these girls to be his wives. So we don't need
to necessarily impugn the attitude of the girls, although there
is a suggestion that they were indeed, perhaps because of their
attitudes, a source of trouble. But Esau was a heartbreak to
his parents also. Now, Esau might have said, I
respect my mother and my father, but this is my choice. It's for
me to decide who I'm getting married to. It's not my father
and my mother that are marrying these people. And few of us like
to be told what to do, especially in the big decisions of life,
like who we should marry or not marry. But actually it was the
action itself that betrayed the attitude of Esau. The fact that he did this showed
the kind of person that he was. The book of Hebrews tells us
that he was a fornicator and a profane man. There was a wildness
about Esau. There was a destructiveness about
Esau that would end in disaster. Sin in his life was running its
course unhindered and his parents watched and his parents grieved
at what they saw growing and blossoming in his life. But God's
word does give us several important things to consider with respect
to relationships and marriage. The Bible says that marriage
is honourable. And I want to just mention a
couple of things that the Bible speaks about with respect to
marriage. But really what is most important
in our understanding about our relationships with each other
and with others, is that our relationships, and especially
our close relationships, and especially marriage, points to
a spiritual reality that stands behind all of the things that
happen to us in our lives. And marriage is a picture, the
Bible tells us, of a believer's union with the Lord Jesus Christ. So therefore, when we think about
getting married, or when we think about a lifetime partner, we
have to see it in the light of our union with the Lord Jesus
Christ, because that is the deeper reality of which marriage in
this world is but a picture. The Lord Jesus Christ is spoken
of as the bridegroom and the church is his bride, so that
we who believe in the Lord Jesus Christ have entered into a relationship
with him that is like marriage. And here's just five quick points
that I want to mention to you with respect to this ordinance
of marriage. First one is this, that our marriage
union with the Lord is a union that shares the same Spirit. It shares the same Spirit. We cannot have true union or
communion with the Lord Jesus Christ if we don't have the Spirit
of Christ. If we don't worship the same
God, if we don't love the same truth, if we don't walk in the
same paths and follow the same principles. The word of God tells
us in Amos chapter three, verse three, can two walk together
except they be agreed. And so the first thing that we
have to think about with respect to our relationship with the
Lord is that it is bound together in the same spirit. And that
points to our relationships in the world. They too should be
bound together with the same spirit. And our marriage union
with the Lord is a call to faithfulness and commitment. Our bridegroom,
the Lord Jesus, gave everything because he loved us. He gave
his life, he laid down his life. And he calls us to give our everything
to him. Now commitment means something. Sometimes you hear people talking
about they've committed their lives to the Lord. Well, I wonder,
do they know what commitment means? It means something. It means
that we are dedicated to the Lord, that He comes first. Our
Saviour has taught us what it means to be committed. because he is committed to us
and we are committed to him. And again, that is a picture
as to how our relationships in life should be undergirded and
developed. Here's the third point. Marriage
or marriage union with the Lord is forever. It's binding forever
and it is indissoluble. If we are saved, we are eternally
saved. Our union with the Lord Jesus
Christ as his bride is an everlasting covenant, is an everlasting life,
eternal life. And it doesn't break apart when
things don't go right or when things don't go as we had hoped. And there might be disappointment,
and there might be trials, and there might be problems in our
relationship with God, but that marriage relationship never ends
in separation. And again, that is a pointer
to the way in which we have to approach our relationships in
life. Here's a fourth one. Our marriage
union with the Lord Jesus Christ is the means and channel of fruitfulness
in our lives and the blessing of God being revealed in our
lives. Good things are born from our
relationship with God. Good things, blessings flow and
grow out of our union with the Lord Jesus Christ. And when we
embark upon the Christian life with the promises of the Lord
in scripture given to us, those promises are that he will make
us fruitful. And again, we see that that is
a principle in our relationships in the world. There is a fruitfulness,
there is a procreation that is an essential part of marriage
in the world. And here, fifthly then, just
in closing, is a final point. Our marriage union with the Lord
is our setting for submission and service and sacrifice towards
him. It is that place, that relationship
that we have with Christ, is that place where mutual love
and honour and respect and care and duty and privilege are expressed
and experienced. It is a deep relationship. Trials
are overcome in that relationship. And when a believer is betrothed
to the Lord Jesus Christ, our union with him sets the standard
and the pattern we seek in our earthly unions and in our earthly
relationships as well. Our earthly relationships will
never be perfect like our heavenly relationship is with the Lord
Jesus Christ. But in seeking to honour the
Lord Jesus Christ, we might ask this question. Are those that
we shall marry of the same spirit as us? Are they dedicated to
the same Lord as us? Are they committed to that relationship
forever? Are they fit to fulfil fruitfulness
in our lives? Are they willing to serve and
sacrifice? Comparing our future partner
to the Lord Jesus Christ is a high bar indeed. but it is the standard
that scripture sets for us in marriage and it is one that we
are wise to use if we would be happy and fulfilled in our relationships. May the Lord bless these thoughts
to us and guide our hearts in this truth.