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The Marriage With No Divorce

Todd Nibert October, 29 2025 Video & Audio
Matthew 5:31-32

Sermon Transcript

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When the law giver is giving his commentary on the law of the Lord Jesus Christ, of the six examples he gives in Matthew chapter five, two of them have to do with marriage. I think that's very interesting. Let's read verses 31 and 32 again. I've entitled this the marriage with no divorce. Verse 31, it hath been said, whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement. But I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery, and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced, commit adultery.

Before I begin the message, I just remembered I was so bum-puzzled coming in late. Rick Kess has pneumonia right now. He was in the hospital last night, but he's home now. Rick, I hope you're feeling better if you're watching.

The marriage with no divorce. Now, God ordained marriage. I love to think of that. Turn with me to Genesis chapter two. Marriage is of the Lord. Look in verse 18. This is before the fall. And the Lord God said, it's not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help meet for him. And out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them. And whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found and help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man.

I love to think about this. Adam hadn't seen her and all of a sudden the Lord presents to her Eve, his wife. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

" Now here we have the perfect marriage. The only perfect. marriage. It was a marriage where both Adam and Eve were not sinners. They were not self-righteous. They were not proud. They were not selfish. They were not thoughtless. They were not ill-tempered. They were not insecure. They had no faults. Imagine a marriage of two people where there are no faults. Marital bliss. They were the most beautiful people to ever live. Sin had not yet caused the destruction that it would bring. And they were deeply in love with one another in a state of marital bliss. I don't know how long this lasted, but There's something special about thinking about the Lord presenting this woman to Adam.

Then there was the fall. Verse seven, after eating of the fruit, Genesis chapter three, and the eyes of them both were opened and they knew that they were naked. Now they were naked before the fall, but it wasn't an issue, but it's an issue Now, they now have fallen sinful natures. And they sowed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons. And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. Now there was a time when they relished his presence. Now they want to get away from him. They don't want to be in his presence. They hide themselves from the presence of the Lord. And the Lord God called unto Adam and said unto him, where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself. And he said, who told thee? That that was naked has now eaten of the tree where have I commanded thee that thou should not eat it. And the man said, with regard to this beautiful woman that the Lord had given him, everything has changed. The woman that you gave me. She gave me the tree and I did eat. This woman that you have given me, she talked me into it. You gave her to me. Ultimately, this is your fault. And it's the fault of this woman.

And the Lord God said unto the woman, what is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, the serpent beguiled me. And I did eat. It was the serpent's fault. And the Lord God said unto the serpent, because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle and above every beast of the field. Upon thy belly shalt thou go, and thus shalt thou eat all the days of thy life. And here we have the gospel. I will put enmity between thee and the woman and between thy seed and her seed. The Lord Jesus Christ. He shall bruise thy head and thou shall bruise his heel. Unto the woman, he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception and sorrow thou shalt bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And I read that what that means is your desire will be to rule over him, and he will rule over thee. And to Adam he said, because thou hast hearkened to the voice of thy wife and has eaten of the tree of which I commanded thee, saying, thou shalt not eat of it, cursed is the ground for thy sake. In sorrow shall thou eat of it all the days of thy life. Thorns also, and thistles shall it bring forth to thee. And thou shalt eat the herb of the field, and the sweat of thy face. Thou shalt eat thy bread till thou return to the ground. For out of it was thou taken, for dust thou art, and to dust thou shalt return."

Now here we have this couple who had spent who knows how long in a perfect marriage. And now all of that is gone. I'm sure that Eve resented the fact that Adam blamed her. I'm sure that Adam resented the fact that she gave him of the tree to Eve. They resent, they resented each other. And here we have no longer a perfect marriage.

Since then, all marriages have been marred by And that is where this thing of divorce arises. It arises from this thing called sin. You have sinners living under the same roof and you'll have issues that will arise. Now, even so, don't get divorced. God said in Malachi chapter two, listen to these words. God said, I hate divorce. That's what God says about divorce.

I read this once and I've always thought it made sense to me. Every marriage has five stages. You're in love. That's the beginning. You're raising your family and busy. That's the second stage. The third stage is You start resenting one another, start finding fault with one another. That's when people get divorced generally, that third stage. The fourth stage, you start becoming endeared one to another again. the fifth stage, you're in love. Now, whether all that is true, I don't know, but I think it's a pretty good statement with regard to marriage.

God said, I hate divorce, and I'm thankful he does. Now, turn with me to Deuteronomy 24 for a moment. This is where the Lord said, you've heard it said of them that old, Divorce your wife, Deuteronomy chapter 24. If you find something wrong with her, give her a bill of divorcement. Now look in verse one of Deuteronomy chapter 24. When a man hath taken a wife and married her, and to come to pass that she find no favor in his eyes. Now that word favor is the same word grace. Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. We're gonna learn something about law and grace here.

This man looks at this woman he's taken and she finds no grace in his eyes. Because he had found some uncleanness in her. He's found some fault in her. He's found something he doesn't like. Let him write her a bill of divorcement.

And the word grace, Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. I love verse five. Now listen real carefully. This is amazing. In verse five, God saw the wickedness of man was great in the earth. And that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. How often do y'all hear me quote that verse of scripture? You know, that scripture, the whole gospel is understood in light of that. There is no understanding of the gospel really without that. Somebody says, well, you're not going to believe that until you believe the gospel. That's true. When you believe the gospel, that's when you're going to understand Genesis 6, 5 and not before then. But when you believe the gospel, you'll have some understanding of what Genesis 6, 5 is saying.

But look in. Well, I'll quote it, Genesis chapter seven. He saw the wickedness of man was great in the earth and that every imagination and the thoughts of his heart was only evil, continue. But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. And listen to this, Genesis chapter seven, verse one. He says, with regard to Noah, thee have I seen as righteous before me in this generation. Now, Noah by nature was just as bad as those folks in Genesis chapter six, verse five. There's no question about that. He was just as bad, but yet God says to him, thee have I seen as righteous before me in this generation described in Genesis chapter six, verse five, where God saw the wickedness of man was great in the earth and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

Now, the only way that he can see Noah is righteous. It's because he is righteous. And the only way he can be righteous is because God has made the way to be just and justify the ungodly so that Noah is seen as righteous for this one reason. He is righteous because of what Christ did in his behalf. He is righteous. That's the way God's always seen him. He's never seen him any other way, and that's true with regard to all of God's elect. God has always seen his people accepted in the beloved, altogether righteous because of the lamb slain from the foundation of the world.

Now, you remove grace from a marriage, and here's what you have. Deuteronomy 24, verse one. When a man hath taken a wife and married her, and it comes to pass that she find no grace in his eyes, no favor, no grace, because he had found some uncleanness in her. Some improper behavior, something shameful, something indecent, Some nakedness to expose some fault or blemish in her. Well, here's what he needs to do. Let him write her a bill of divorcement. Out the door. If that's what you're going to be, get out. You know, this man's hard-hearted, isn't he? He's not gracious. This is the way a man conducts himself if he doesn't believe grace. Out the door. That bill of divorcement, the word divorce comes from the word which means cut off, even behead, out the door. You've lost your privileges with me. Let him give her a bill of divorcement, and here's why, and give it to her in her hand and send her out of his house. There's the door, leave. And he gives her this bill of divorcement. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. Because of this Bill of Divorcement.

Now remember, marriage is a covenant made between two people and they promise to stay together till death alone shall part them. in good and bad, in sickness, in health, in poverty, in wealth, in the bad that may darken their days and the good that may light their ways. They're called upon by God to stay together all the way to the end. It's forever. So the Lord reminds them, you've heard it said by them of old, If you're gonna get rid of your wife, send her out the door, send her packing because you found some uncleanness in her, some fault, something you don't like, let him give her a writing of divorce. But the Lord says, but I say unto you, let's go back to our text in Matthew 25. Matthew five, I'm sorry. It's been said, verse 31, whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement. But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery. When she goes to another man, he's causing her to commit adultery. And whosoever shall marry her that is divorced, commiteth adultery. Now this gives us some idea of how binding this thing of marriage is in God's sight. These are the words of the Lord Jesus Christ. And let me remind you once again, that God said, I hate divorce.

Now would you turn with me for a moment to Matthew chapter 19, verse three. The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him. You know, there's seven times that the Pharisees came to the Lord in the New Testament, tempting him. You remember last week when they brought the adulterer to the Lord and said she was caught in the very act? Moses said, Stoner, what do you say? This they said, tempting him that they might have whereof to accuse him. The Pharisees were always trying to get the Lord to contradict himself. They'd say, aha, we got you. Well, here they are tempting the Lord Jesus Christ. Again, that's a fool's errand, isn't it? He's the son of God and these idiots, and that is a gracious thing to call him, come and try to tempt him.

The Pharisees also came into him tempting him and saying unto him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Now, in a marriage, think of how many things you could be unhappy with, with your spouse. And I dare say that there are many things your spouse could be unhappy with you about. I mean, you get two sinners together and you've got some issues. And they are testing him. Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for any cause? And the Lord answers in verse four, have you not read? How many times did he say that to the Pharisees? They read the Bible from cover to cover. And I think this is just kind of a jab. Evidently you don't read the Bible. Have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and he said for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they too shall be one flesh

Now you'll remember Paul quotes this in Ephesians chapter five, and he says, this is speaking concerning Christ in the church. Did Adam know he was speaking concerning Christ in the church when he said this? Maybe, I don't know. But that's what it means, because Paul tells us that's what it means. This is talking about the union between Christ and his church. That's what marriage is given for. Wherefore there are no more two but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together "'Let no man put asunder.' "

'What are they saying to him?' "'They read this.' "'Why did Moses then command "'to give a riding a divorcement, to put her away?' "'We just read about that in Deuteronomy 24, 1. "'That's inspired scripture. "'Why did Moses do that?'' Well, as I said, this man in Deuteronomy 24, 1 is a man who refused grace. He didn't look at his wife in a gracious way. All he could see was faults and blemishes and things he wanted to get rid of her for. And then in such a cruel manner, he says, it's over. Here's a bill of divorcement, out the door. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore.

Now this bill of divorcement, Can you imagine how cruel and hard-hearted this man would become to this woman, both probably emotionally abusive, verbally abusive, physically abusive? And what would have happened to her if she would have remained in the house? This was actually a mercy of God to protect this woman because of the way she would have been treated by this harsh, ungracious man. Don't commend this man who is described in Deuteronomy chapter 24.

Now, verse eight of Matthew 19, he saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, because of your own wickedness, suffered you to put away your wives. But from the beginning it was not so. This was never God's intention for marriage. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery. And whoso marrieth her which is put away, doth commit adultery.

Now, the Lord lets us know marriage, in God's eyes, is binding. Now, if there were no sin, there would be no divorce. And anyone that's been through a divorce knows how horrible and troublesome and how, oh, it's a horrible thing. And the ones who've been divorced are the ones who know it the most, what a terrible thing it is. But I've entitled this message, The Marriage With No Divorce.

Now, unlike this hard-hearted husband, this critical wicked man, this cold and unloving man, this ungracious man, the Lord will never divorce his people. You see, the church is called his bride. I love the way the church is called the Lamb's wife. Isn't that glorious? The Lamb's wife. And the Lord will never divorce his people for two reasons. Number one, the relationship between Christ and his bride is always altogether grace. That man quit seeing her in a gracious light. The Lord never does. And number two, because of what he did for his bride, there is no uncleanness in her for him to find.

Turn with me for a moment to Revelation chapter 21. Verse one. And I saw a new heaven and a new earth for the first heaven and the first earth was passed away and there was no more sea. And I, John, saw the holy city, new Jerusalem coming down from God out of heaven prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. She came down out of heaven prepared as this bride adorned for her husband. What was she adorned with? Turn to Revelation chapter 19, verse seven. Let us be glad and rejoice and give honor to him for the marriage of the lamb is come and his wife hath made herself ready and to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen clean and white, for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints."

Now what is the righteousness of saints? Do you know in most other translations it says the righteous deeds of the saints or the righteous works of the saints? And the reason it translates it that way is because the word righteousness is found in the plural. the righteousnesses of the saints.

Now, number one, would you consider any work that you've ever done, fine linen, clean, and white, without sin, perfect? I hope not. And when he speaks of righteousnesses in the plural, I have no doubt that this is speaking both of the negative righteousness and the positive righteousness of Christ. Now, what do I mean by that? His negative righteousness is he never did anything wrong. His positive righteousness is he always did that which is right, which glorified his father. The righteousness of the saints. This is the righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ, which is the righteousness of the saints. Amen.

I think of what Jeremiah said in Jeremiah chapter 23, verse six. This is the name wherewith he shall be called, speaking of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is the name wherewith he shall be called, the Lord our righteousness. And Jeremiah 33, 16 says, this is the name wherewith she shall be called, the Lord's bride, the Lamb's wife. And she's got the exact same name. This is the name wherewith she shall be called the Lord our righteousness.

This is the righteousness of the saints. The righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ is that wedding garment spoken of in Matthew chapter 22. Turn with me over there for just a second. I want you to look at this.

Matthew chapter 22. I'm just gonna pick up where the king comes in to see his guests. Verse 11, and when the king came in to the guests, Matthew 22, 11, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment. What's the one thing you had to have to be there? The wedding garment. That wedding garment we just read about in Revelation 19, eight. The fine linen, clean and white, the righteousness of the saints. This man didn't have this.

And he saith unto him, friend, how camest thou in hither, not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. He was speechless. I imagine this might have been the first time he'd ever been speechless. But he was speechless.

Then said the king to the servants, bind him, hand and foot, take him away and cast him into outer darkness. There should be weeping and gnashing of teeth for him. Many are called, but few are chosen.

Paul said in Philippians chapter three, verse nine, oh, that I may win Christ and be found in him. not having my own righteousness. I don't want to have anything to do with that. But that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God, by faith. Now this is the righteousness of the Lord's bride. Anything else? is contrary to the gospel message. It's the leaven that leavens the whole lump. It's the discordant note in the heavenly song. It's irreverent, blasphemous, and sacrilegious.

Psalm 71, 16, David said, I've made mention of thy righteousness, even thine only. Now let's consider why. and how the Lamb of God will never find any uncleanness in His bride? Well, it begins before the foundation of the world. According as He hath chosen us, His bride, His sheep, His elect, according as He hath chosen us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be what? without blame before him."

Would you turn to Ephesians chapter 5 for a moment? Ephesians chapter 5. Now, Paul is quoting from Adam in Genesis 2 when he says, for this cause, verse 31, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. Now this is a great mystery, but I'm not talking about a man and woman right now. I'm talking about Christ and his church.

Now look in verse 25 of Ephesians chapter five. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church. What a command. How did Christ love his church? That's how every husband is called upon to love his wife. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself All he is. He gave himself for sins. He gave himself when he became incarnate. He gave himself when he kept the law for them. He gave himself when he died for them. He gave himself when he was raised from the dead for them.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify, make it holy, and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself, a glorious church. What a presentation. As he presents the bride to himself, a glorious church, as John called it, I will show you the bride, the lamb's wife, coming down from out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband, having the glory of God. That's a church.

Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify it and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, the cleansing of the gospel, that he might present it to himself, a glorious church. Not have him spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. The Lord can't find any fault in his bride because there is no fault. Holy, without blemish. Here is the marriage where there is no divorce.

I love Colossians 1, 22, where it says that he might present us holy, unblameable, and unreprovable in his sight." That describes every single believer. Holy, unblameable, and unreprovable, perfect in his sight. There are no faults.

Now I would like to close by asking you to turn to the Song of Solomon. The Song of Solomon. Now here is how the church sees herself. Song of Solomon, chapter one, verse five. I'm black, but comely. I know in and of myself, I'm nothing but sin. In Christ, I'm beautiful. I know that. I know both of those things. But let's look at how the Lord sees his bride. This is how she sees herself.

First, Song of Solomon chapter four. This is the Lord speaking to his bride. Behold, thou art fair, my love. Behold, thou art fair, thou hast dove's eyes within thy locks. Thy hair is as a flock of goats that appear from Mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing, whereof everyone bear twins, and none is barren among them. Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely. Thy temples are like pieces of pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David, builded for an armory, where on their hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like the two young rose that are twins, which feed among the lilies. Into the daybreak and the shadows flee away, I'll get me to the mountains of Myrne, to the hill of Frankincense.

Now look at this, thou art all fair, my love. Every part of you is beautiful to me. There is no spot, there is no wrinkle, there is no blemish anywhere. Does Christ have a blemish or a wrinkle? No, neither do you. Because you have his righteousness as your personal righteousness before God. And this is how he sees every one of his people. Thou art all fair, my love. There's no spot in thee. Look down in verse nine. This is what he says to you, if you're a believer. Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse, thou hast ravished my heart with one of thy eyes, with one chain of thy neck. My heart beats faster. with one look at your eyes. That's what the Lord says to every single one of his people.

Now, I repeat, here is the perfect marriage. There was a perfect marriage, sort of, in the garden, but it wasn't perfect perfect because it was mutable. It started out good, it ended up bad. But here is the perfect, perfect marriage. The Lord looks at his bride and he says, thou art all fair, my love. There's no spot in me. And in this marriage? Here's what we have. The bride saying to her husband, thou art altogether lovely. And the husband saying to his bride, thou art altogether lovely. There's no spot in thee. Truly, this is the marriage with no divorce.

Let's pray. Lord, how we thank you for what a husband you are to us, that you're not like the man who has no grace and finds uncleanness. For Lord, we confess that if you were to look for uncleanness in us, that's all we are in and of ourselves. But Lord, how we thank you that because of the gospel of your son, You see us without blemish, without wrinkle, without spot, without any such thing, but we're holy and unblameable and unreprovable in your sight. Lord, thank you for your gospel. Give us the grace to believe. Lord, enable us to be Gracious. And see one another. As you see us for Christ's sake. In his name we pray, Amen.
Todd Nibert
About Todd Nibert
Todd Nibert is pastor of Todd's Road Grace Church in Lexington, Kentucky.