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Marvin Stalnaker

The Way of a Man With a Maid

Proverbs 30:18-20
Marvin Stalnaker June, 1 2025 Video & Audio
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In his sermon titled "The Way of a Man With a Maid," Marvin Stalnaker addresses the profound mystery of salvation as illustrated in Proverbs 30:18-20, focusing on the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church. He highlights the difficulty humans have in perceiving spiritual truths, likening this to mysteries like the way of an eagle or a serpent. Stalnaker emphasizes that understanding the metaphor of a "man with a maid" reveals God's grace in choosing and redeeming His people, illustrating the necessity of divine revelation to grasp the gospel's depth. Key to his argument is the contrast between humanity's sinfulness and Christ's righteousness, underlined by Scripture references such as Romans 8:28 and Paul's reflections in Romans 7 regarding the struggle against sin. Ultimately, the sermon highlights God's mercy in transforming sinful individuals into a pure bride through Christ, showcasing the Reformed doctrine of salvation by grace alone.

Key Quotes

“If we fail to see the one message of salvation by the grace of God, you missed it.”

“The way of a man with a maid... a strong man, a warrior, emphasizing strength.”

“Almighty God would have mercy on somebody like me. That God Almighty would show mercy and grace and compassion to somebody like I am.”

“These things are too wonderful for me to figure out myself. I got to know this by revelation.”

What does the Bible say about the way of a man with a maid?

The way of a man with a maid symbolizes the relationship between Christ and His chosen people, illustrating His love and redemptive work.

The phrase 'the way of a man with a maid' found in Proverbs 30:18-20 reveals the profound and mysterious relationship between the Lord Jesus Christ and His bride, the Church. This relationship is characterized by Christ's love, commitment, and redemptive grace. Just as a man seeks to cherish and protect his maid, Christ actively pursues and transforms His people, making them suitable and pure through His righteousness. The depiction of the maid as a virgin of marriageable age highlights the sanctifying work that Christ performs, taking their sins upon Himself to present them blameless before God.

Proverbs 30:18-20, Ephesians 5:25-27, Zephaniah 3:17, Romans 7:14-25

Why is the relationship between Christ and His people important?

This relationship illustrates the depth of God's love and the transformative power of His grace in our lives.

Understanding the relationship between Christ and His people is crucial for grasping the nature of salvation and the grace bestowed upon believers. Christ's love is active and sacrificial; He does not merely invite us into a relationship but actively works to cleanse us from our sins. This relationship is not based on human merit but on Christ's righteousness, which is imputed to us. By knowing this truth, believers can appreciate their identity in Christ as pure and blameless, which fosters a deep sense of gratitude and worship. Captain of our salvation, He shows us mercy by taking our guilt and sin upon Himself, which emphasizes the unmerited favor of God.

Ephesians 5:25-27, 2 Corinthians 5:21, Romans 5:8

How do we know that the love of Christ is for His chosen people?

Scripture indicates that Christ's love is specific to those whom He has chosen, reflecting God's sovereign grace.

The love of Christ for His chosen people is a central theme in the Bible, grounded in the doctrine of election and sovereign grace. In Romans 9:13, the scripture explicitly states, 'Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated,' highlighting that God's love is selective and purposeful. This is further affirmed by passages such as Ephesians 1:4-5, which reveals that believers were chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless. The special relationship underscores that God's love is not a general sentiment but a powerful and effective commitment to redeem a specific people, ensuring their ultimate salvation through Christ's redemptive work.

Romans 9:13, Ephesians 1:4-5, John 10:14-15

Sermon Transcript

Auto-generated transcript • May contain errors

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Well, it's good to see all of
you this morning. I thank the Lord for this blessed,
blessed privilege to be here. I told some of you this is the
first time I put on a suit in 11 months. I didn't know if I could still
tie a tie. when I think of the way that
the Lord has led us all through this last 11-month period. We've all gone through this together,
hadn't we? But thanks be unto God we're here. I'm gonna ask
you to take your Bibles and turn with me to the book of Proverbs
chapter 30. Proverbs chapter 30. I truly believe, I'm not just
saying this, I truly believe this is the message of the hour. This book has been a dear friend
to all of us, the book of wisdom, God's wisdom, penned by a man
named Solomon. The first part of this 30th chapter
says the words of Agur, Many believe that Agur was a type,
I know he was a type of Christ, but a man also that was given
wisdom. Whoever penned it, it was penned
under the inspiration of God's spirit. And for that, we're thankful. Proverbs chapter 30. I'd like
to look at verses 18 to 20. There be three things which are
too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not. The way of
an eagle in the air, the way of a serpent upon a rock, the
way of a ship in the midst of the sea, and the way of a man
with a maid. Such is the way of an adulterous
woman, eateth and wipeth her mouth and saith, I have done
no wickedness. Now, let me just be honest with
you and say that I realize, like I'm sure all of you, As we just
read this passage of scripture, this was my first thought concerning
this passage. Lord, if you don't give me some
understanding in this passage of scripture, I don't have a
clue what is being told here. I don't. I read that, Neil, and
I just thought, there's some things that I know
and you know. You know that This is the word
of the Lord. You know that these holy scriptures
set forth the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. We know that. These scriptures are according
to the Lord, his voice. He said, John 10, 27, my sheep
here My voice and I know them and
they follow me. I know that. Speaking of the Jews, the Lord
said. He said you search. The scriptures you examine and
you you investigate the scriptures for in them. You think you have
eternal life. You take a Bible and and you
read You read the scriptures. You read portions of scripture. We see the law. We see precepts
that are good for understanding, good for direction. He said,
you search the scriptures. And in them, You think you have
eternal life. You think you have eternal life
because those that see not the person of the Lord Jesus Christ
in them. They read them and they say,
well, that's the Bible. I read the Bible. And he said,
you find confidence in that because you read the Bible. This Bible is written, the one
I have right here, and you got your hand there, it's written
in English. You read English, you read words,
you see black letters on white paper, and you read them, and
you think, I'm reading the Bible, but here's what the Lord said. They are they which testify of
me. Now that makes everything clear concerning what is the
subject of these scriptures. These scriptures declare the
finished work of the Lord Jesus Christ. The redemption and preservation
of a people of God's choosing. These scriptures tell the same
story over and over and over again. It doesn't matter if you're
in Genesis to Revelation. There's one message in these
scriptures. And this is what's so amazing.
People who have not. I'm talking about all of us now.
I just did, you know, I'm talking about all of us. All of us by
nature. We can read these things and
if we fail to see the one message of salvation by the grace of
God, you missed it. You missed it. Again, it could
be good advice. It could be, you know, but if
you don't see Christ in it, then Nothing. It was just words, just
biblical words, true words, but we missed the meaning. So now
I want us to read again. I want to, I want to read what
I just read out of that passage of scripture. And I want all
of us, we all need to hear this. Let's remember. I'm looking for
the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm looking for the truth of
salvation by grace, through faith, and that not of ourselves. It's
the gift of God. Now, looking back at this passage
of scripture, there's three things which are
too wonderful for me, yea, for which I know not." These first
words are the words of one made to be honest about himself. What he said was this. There's
three things that are too wonderful for me. They're too difficult. They're beyond my power to perceive. These words are three things
that are just too wonderful for me. These words that I just read,
you know the truth of it. You know the honesty of it. But let me ask you something,
knowing what we know, what we just talked about, all these
words are concerning the glory of Christ. And in seeing the glory of Christ,
we see something about ourselves. These words are just too wonderful
for me to perceive. You read these things and you
hear, you read, okay, the way of an eagle in the air. You read that? Now remember what
we're doing now. Compare these things. The way
of a serpent upon a rock and the way of a ship in the midst
of the sea. You know that all things, all
things written are concerning His glory, His honor. But I'll
tell you what that, those first words, it shows me how ignorant
I am. The scripture says that these
words are concerning the Lord. Let me tell you what the Lord
has said. In these words we've just read, man by nature is ignorant. Man by nature knows nothing. of the glory of God. But those
words that we just read, right there, the way of an eagle, how does he fly? He just, he
flies, he's here, he swoops down, the way of a serpent on a rock,
may be right here, may be called up, he may slither over here,
may slither over there, the way of a ship in the midst of a sea
by currents, wind. I had a little time where I was
trying to learn how to fly an airplane. And one of the things,
I could set my course. I could set my course according
to my instruments, but I might be flying this way But if the
wind, if I've got a crosswind blowing me real hard this way,
I might still be going this way, but I'm going this way. A ship,
it gets out in the middle of the ocean, knows where it's going,
but there's currents and undertoes and this, that, and the other.
But all of those things that are so mysterious, the scripture
still says in Romans 8, 28, and we know that all things, now
here we go, All things. Oh, you mean the way an eagle
flies? The way a ship sails? The way a serpent crawls on a
rock? Are you telling me that that
is included in Romans 8, 28? Or what do you think my answer
is going to be? Here's what I've said. If it happens to fall under
the category of all things, Kevin, all things work together. You
know what that flying eagle, what that snake crawled up, what
that ship out in the middle of the ship, you know what that
says to me? Marvin, you're dumb. You're dumb. You just don't know.
How can those things be of the Lord? I want you to turn to Deuteronomy
chapter 29. Deuteronomy 29. I'm telling you,
Deuteronomy 29, verse 29. 29, 29. What does it say? The secret things belong unto
the Lord our God. How can those things we just
read be of some significance concerning the glory of God?
How can they be? Because that eagle flying, that
snake crawled up. These things that are secret
are telling men, you don't know. You don't know. The secret thing
All secret things belong unto the Lord our God, but those things
which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever,
that we may do all the words of this law. Oh, I read those first three
things right there, back in Proverbs chapter 30. Three things which are too wonderful
for me. But it says in four, which I
know not, the way of that eagle, the way of that serpent on the
rock, the way of a ship. But that fourth thing, that fourth
thing, the scripture sets forth the way of a man with a maid. Now the first things the Lord,
the secret things, He, to my knowledge, never revealed it
to me. The Lord's never revealed to
me the way of an eagle, a snake. These things that the Lord has
kept secret, private, they belong to the Lord. I can now realize
how dumb I am because I don't realize their purpose. But this
fourth thing, that the writer of the Proverbs said, the way
of a man with a maid. Now, unless I look up those words,
if I just read them and I'm just left to my own understanding,
the way of a man with a maid. If the Lord gives me no understanding,
then I still don't know what that means. But when I began
to look at the words, and I began to look at their meaning, it
says here, it says, the way of a man. Now, the Lord has been
pleased to reveal something. Why, his apostles asked him,
why do you preach in Proverbs? Why are you preaching parables? He said, because it's given unto
you to know the mystery of the kingdom of God. To them, it's
not given. So if the Lord is pleased to
keep the way of a serpent, the way of an eagle, the way of a
ship, if He's pleased to keep that secret from me, that's God's
business. But right here, that fourth thing,
The way of a man with a maid. If left to myself, I'm still
ignorant. Oh, but as I began to look at
those words. So I looked up that word, man.
I'm praying God give me some light on that. The way of a man
with a maid. So I looked up that word, man.
It doesn't just mean a male, it doesn't mean that. Here it's
spoken of and describing the person of the Lord Jesus Christ,
and I'll tell you how I know that, because I looked up the
meaning of that word man. The meaning of that word man,
here's what it means. A strong man. A warrior. Emphasizing strength. The ability to fight. I want you to take your Bibles.
Now, Zephaniah is a hard book. I'm going to tell you something.
If you get to the end of the Old Testament, Malachi, just
start backing up. You know, if you get to Zechariah,
just keep going forward a little bit. Turn to Zephaniah. Zephaniah, chapter
3, and I want to read something here. I'll give you a second
to find it. I agree, it's a hard book to
find. But just about three chapters,
three books, I think, back from Malachi, back toward the front
of the book. Zephaniah chapter three. Now this man, here's a
mysterious thing, wonderful thing, unexplainable thing, except that
God gives some light on it. Zephaniah chapter three. Starting in verse 14. Here's a man we're talking about
right here, that strong man, that warrior, one of strength. Sing, O daughter of Zion. Shout,
O Israel. Be glad and rejoice with all
the heart, O daughter of Jerusalem. The Lord hath taken away thy
judgments, He hath cast out thine enemy, the king of Israel. Even the Lord is in the midst
of thee. Thou shalt not see evil any more. In that day it shall be said
to Jerusalem, fear not, fear thou not. And to Zion, let not
thine heart be slack. The Lord thy God in the midst
of thee is mighty. He will save. He will rejoice
over thee with joy. He will not rest in his love. He will joy over thee with singing. Now this man we're talking about
right here, this man that we're considering back in Proverbs
chapter 30, this man, He's not a man trying to do something. The Lord our God is not a man
that leaves puny, created creatures of dust to their own eternal
destiny. Not the God we serve. Now, I
know the God that's being preached. I know people say, I believe
in the Lord Jesus Christ. And I know that they say he loves
everybody. He wants to save everybody. If everybody would just let him,
bless his heart. I know that he loves everybody. You know, I can't find that in
scripture. I cannot find in scripture where God loves everybody. I know he hated Esau. Somebody
said, explain to me. I said, I can't. God does as you will in the army
of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth, and no man stays
his hand. So the man that's being spoken
of here in Proverbs chapter 30, here's a marvelous thing, an
unexplainable thing, except God gives some revelation. God may
withhold from me what a flying eagle purposes. God may withhold
from me this crawling serpent. He may not reveal to me why ships
sail the way they do with courage. He may not explain that to me.
Those secret things He may keep from my understanding. But the
way of a man, a strong man, a mighty man, one that is able to do as
he will, one that is said to be a man. Here's a mysterious
thing, that a mighty man, a strong man, the person of the Lord Jesus
Christ, what does he do? Here it is. The way of a man
with a maid. Oh, now there's another word
I needed. Look up. I don't want to leave
it to myself. I mean, I know what a maid is. Young lady. But now this maid,
that word right there, here's the meaning of it. A virgin of
marriageable age. A maid newly married. So the
picture set forth by this maid is the bride of the Lord Jesus
Christ because every woman, every maid, all of them, without exception,
is in herself not fit, not fit for Him. What does He gotta do? He's gonna have to make His people
that which He says they are. He's gonna have to make His people
to be a virgin. Without spot, without blemish,
without blame, without fault. How's he gonna do that? How's
he gonna do it? I'll tell you what he's gonna
do. He's gonna take all of her guilt, all of her faults, all
of her frailties, all of her inadequacies, and he's gonna
make them to be his own. He's gonna take unto himself
all of her guilt, all of her sin, and he's going to bear it
before God's law and did so on the cross at Calvary Street and
bore all of the blame that was against the maid, the one he calls pure. And he went to the cross and
died in her stead. That's a marvelous thing, an
unexplainable thing. He may not tell me about the
depth of that snake or that current. He may keep something secret
from me, but bless God, this is what he's not kept secret
from his people, the way of a man, strong man, a mighty man with
a maid, with a virgin, a virgin of his choosing. care, love. One who is in himself and by
his declaration to be without spot, without blemish, a maid
that he has loved with an everlasting love and betrothed unto himself
in righteousness because he has given her, imputed to her his
righteousness. That's a marvelous thing. One that has been given of himself. One who has been judged in himself. In loving kindness and mercy.
She who is naturally. Now this is this maid. She knows
what she is. Paul the Apostle. Hold your place
in Proverbs there. Romans chapter 7. She knows what
she is in herself. Here's the amazing thing. Romans
chapter seven, verse 14 to 25. Here is the picture of the maid.
While she's in this earth, while she's in this world, she still
knows what she is. She knows what she, Romans chapter
seven, verse 14 to 25. Scripture says, for we know that
the law is spiritual, but I'm carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do, I allow
or I don't, I know not, I allow not. I don't know why I do what
I do, except I know this. I do them because of sin. For what I would, that do I not. Told you before, I want to walk
I want to walk perfectly before God. I want to honor Him. I want
to be faithful to Him. And I see myself, I'm so frail,
I'm so weak. But what I hate that I do, verse
16, if then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that
it's good. What I'm saying is this, I know
that what the law says, You're guilty. I know that's right. I know that's good. I know that's
right. Now then, it is no more I that
do it. Paul's speaking as a man regenerated
by the grace of God, a new man. There's two men and every believer,
two men. An old man that can't do anything
but sin, that won't do anything but sin, that loves nothing but
sin. Somebody said, well, I used to,
I used to hate sin. Well, I'm going to tell you something,
and you're an old man, you still love it. There's a new man there. That, that, verse 7, of that,
now then, it's no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth
in me. For I know that in me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth
no good thing. for the will is present with
me, but how to perform that which is good, I find not. The measure I just made up my
mind, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna sin anymore. Well, you're
deceived. For the good that I would, I do not. But the evil which
I would not, that I do. You that know the Lord, is it
not like that with you? Don't you hate what you see in
yourself? I hate, oh, the evil thoughts
that I have. I've told you before, it would
embarrass me to no end. I just couldn't show my face
to more, if I knew that you knew what I'm thinking, what I just,
and if I do, that I would not, it's no more I that do it, but
sin that dwelleth in me. I find then the law, that when
I would do good, evil is present with me. I delight in the law
of God after the inward man, but I see another law in my members,
warring against the law of my mind and bring me into captivity
to the law of sin, which is in my members. Oh, wretched man
that I am, who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
I thank God through Christ Jesus, our Lord. So then with the mind,
I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh, The law of
sin, I served the law of sin. I thank God that he's shown that
to me. I couldn't, I couldn't, nothing would make sense to me.
I could say, well, if I'm supposed to be a believer, why do I still
think the way I do? Why do I act the way I do? There's
some things that the Lord's been pleased to not show, to not reveal. They're mysteries. That's what,
that's what the writer of Proverbs started off saying, verse 18,
Three things which are too wonderful to me. Four, which I know not.
Way of an eagle, way of a serpent or a rock, way of a ship, but
on that fourth thing. Oh, the way of a man with a maid. It's wonderful, but I cannot
explain the way of the strong man. I cannot explain the way
of the Lord Jesus Christ to show mercy to somebody like me. except
that by the grace of God I am what I am. I can't do that. Oh,
if the Lord were to lead me to myself, if the Lord would lead
me to myself, this is what I would find myself to truly be. In verse
20, and I'll wrap it up with this. Such is the way of an adulterous
woman. She eateth, wipeth her mouth,
and saith, I have done no wickedness. This is the way of one and this
wicked woman, that's a picture of all of us by nature. This
is an amazing thing. I know we all think that, you
know, we're good and all but to the objects of God's mercy,
to this chosen bride, There's no reason in her, she knows this,
there's no reason in me that God would show mercy. I know
by birth I am a wretched sinner. I am by birth, in me, this is
the old man in me, I am that adulterous woman right there.
That's what I am. She sees herself as unfaithful, Proverbs chapter seven, turn
back. I really am wrapping this up. Proverbs
chapter seven. If you want to know what we all
are by nature, this adulterous woman, in Christ Jesus, we've
been made the righteousness of God in him. I know I told you
a minute ago, I see two, no, no, let me rephrase that. I don't
see, I don't see righteousness in me. The only part of it I
can see is I see just about what I'm about to read right here.
This is all I see, this adulterous woman. I can see her in me. Proverbs chapter 7, starting
in verse 6. This is what I see. For at the
window of my house I look through my casement and beheld among
the simple ones. I discerned among the youths
a young man void of understanding. That's me, that's me by nature,
this is me. Passing through the streets near
her house, he went away to her house in the twilight, in the
evening, in the black and dark night. And behold, there met
him A woman, the attire of a harlot, subtle of heart, loud, stubborn
feet abide not in her house, unfaithful. She without, now
in the streets, lieth in wait at every corner. So she caught
him, kissed him with a putrid face, said unto him, I have peace
offerings with me. This day I've paid my vows, therefore
came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face. I found thee.
I've decked my bed with cover of tapestry, with carved works,
fine linen of Egypt. I've perfumed my bed with myrrh
and aloes and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of
love till the morning. Let us solace ourselves with
love. For the good man is not home,
not at home, he gone on long journeys, taking a bag of money
with him. He will come home at the day
appointed. And with much fair speech, she
caused him to yield. With her flattering of her lips,
she forced him. He goeth after her straightway
as an ox goeth to a slaughter, to the slaughter. For as a fool
to the correction of the stocks, till a dart strike through his
liver as a bird hasteneth to the snare and knoweth not that
it was for his life. I think to myself, that's me by nature. That's what,
by nature, that's what I want. That's what I want. I want all
that which is disrespectful toward God. You say, again, I used to
be like that. No, we still are. We still, We still see ourselves
with that foolishness. We know it's wrong,
we know it's disrespectful, but we can't shun it. Here's what
she does. Guess I will close. I'll get back to my chapter in
Proverbs, chapter 30. Chapter 30, verse 20. Here's
what she does. She eateth. I look those words
up. She devours, destroys, wastes
the souls of men with the words of her inconsistencies. She eateth. She wipes her mouth. wipes her mouth, trying to show
that her words are really clean, really pure, pretending to be
a chaste bride of Christ. And then saith, I've done no
wickedness. You know what a believer is going
to say? By the revelation of God, I know what I am. I know what I am. This is a marvelous,
these things are too wonderful for us. I'll tell you what's
too wonderful. To understand that Almighty God
would have mercy on somebody like me. That God Almighty would
show mercy and grace and compassion to somebody like I am. These
precious words of the writer to the Proverbs. He sets forth. There's some things we don't
understand. A snake. Why did God put him there? He
wasn't pleased to tell us. That's his business. Oh, but
here's a great mystery, too, that God has been pleased to
reveal to us. This is too wonderful for me
to figure out myself. I got to know this by revelation. would take an adulterous woman,
one that pictures me and you, and make her to be a maid, a
virtuous woman. Take her guilt, take her sin,
take her rebellions, and clothe her in his own righteousness.
Those things are too wonderful for me. Lord, would you bless
these words to our heart for Christ's sake?
Marvin Stalnaker
About Marvin Stalnaker
Marvin Stalnaker is pastor of Katy Baptist Church of Fairmont, WV. He can be contacted by mail at P.O. Box 185, Farmington, WV 26571, by church telephone: (681) 758-4021 by cell phone: (615) 405-7069 or by email at marvindstalnaker@gmail.com.
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