I can tell it's fall. My skin
just feels that. We can get started. Take your Bibles and turn to
Ephesians chapter 4. Sorry, Ephesians chapter 6 and
we're going to be looking primarily at verse 4. Now this is a continuation of
Paul's practical instruction to believers regarding their
conduct. And verse 4 is focusing on parents
toward their behaviors toward their children, how they are
to train them up and raise them in the Lord. And remember though
that whatever group that we're looking at, we as believers,
we're still benefited. We're still encouraged and strengthened
and have things that the Lord is showing us for our good and
our comfort. And another thing to also remember
as we go through this is that we're not to hear this in the
flesh. These aren't commands to the flesh, but we're to hear
it in the Spirit. We can't do anything good of
ourselves. We can't bring forth any righteousness
from this flesh. We're completely dependent on
the Lord. and on the Spirit to teach us,
to lead us, to guide us, and to keep our hearts. And so we
receive this instruction, my prayer is that we receive it
and hear it as mature believers, as believers who want to serve
the Lord, who want to hear the Lord, and that we hear it as
the servants of Christ seeking to minister that which is good
and profitable unto men. which is good and profitable
unto men. So hear this word in the spirit and behold the principles
of the gospel that we hear in this message, that we wouldn't
be dismissive of what's said, but that we would hear it with
hearts set upon the Lord Jesus Christ and to be found faithful
in him by his grace. And so let us walk in him by
faith, because the just shall live by his faith." Habakkuk
2.4. I've titled this message, Bring
Them Up in the Lord. Bring Them Up in the Lord. We'll be looking at instruction
to parents. And so let's pick up where we
left off last week, where Paul had been speaking to children
and giving instruction to children to be obedient to their parents,
and we saw the gospel there. Let us see now his instruction
to believing parents in the exhortation he gives them, and it's found
in verse four. Angie fathers. And let me just
say there that he's addressing fathers, because fathers typically
tend to be the more severe one, and mothers tend to be the more
accommodating ones, not always, but it's a word to both parents. It's a word to the parents. And
he says, and ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but
bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And when we see that last phrase
there, bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, that's
a word of encouragement to the body of believers. As a church,
we see the importance of the gathered the gathered children
of God coming together as a body, as the church. And we want what's
so important is that we come together not simply as a community
of people and pushing programs and doing community type things
as a people, but we're gathered together in the interest of hearing
the gospel of Jesus Christ, because that's what we need. We need
the gospel. And the Lord blesses and nourishes
and feeds his people with the gospel. And so this gathering
is very important. It's very important because this
is what parents are going to make use of in addition to their
own instruction. But they're being fed and taught
the gospel coming to the services. And this is where they're going
to bring their children to be fed and taught the gospel, to
hear it, to hear that word of our Savior. And so a word to
parents is we need to be diligent in bringing our children here
to the gathered body of believers to hear the gospel, to hear the
gospel. We need it. We need to be fed
and encouraged and reminded of those things which are most needful. which is found in the Gospel,
which is the Lord Jesus Christ, which is our Savior. We need
to be fed with Him, and your children need to be fed with
the Lord. And so this is where the children
of God are gathered together, where we come together to be
nourished and fed and provided for in the same way that your
children at home come to the table to be nourished and fed
and provided for. There's a lot of similarities
there. And so another thing, before
we really get into it, another thing that we see here is parents,
we often think a lot on how to provide best for our children. We invest a lot of energy in
giving them good foods and providing them with clothing and shelter
and a good education. We look to provide them with
a good, healthy home environment, because we believe these are
good things for our kids, and it's healthy for our kids to
have this. And I would say, according to
the word here, that we ought to give the same diligence to
what our children hear, and to bring them to hear the gospel,
and to encourage them in what they are hearing under the gospel. and to tend to those things in
the same diligent manner that we tend to their other needs
as we're raising them up. And so our prayer is that our
God will bless the word, the gospel word to their hearts.
That is our prayer, right? That our children would hear
because we know it's of grace. We know we could, do the best
that we can do, and that's all that we can do, is the best. And we come short in every way. We come short and have failings
and don't perform as we would perform as parents. But our prayer
is that our God would be gracious and merciful to them. and help
them to hear His word, help them to hear His gospel, and that
He would give them life by His Spirit, because that's how we
hear. We only have life by His grace,
by His Spirit giving us life, making us born again. seed of
Christ, the seed of Christ that we would be found in Him and
that He would give us that gift of faith whereby His children
believe Him and trust Him and desire Him. Proverbs 22 verse
6 says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he
is old he will not depart from it. And that means as a parent,
especially you with young children in the home, that means that
there's times as they get older. you're going to need to be firm
with them in their coming and hearing the gospel because there's
going to come a time when they push against that and test whether
or not this is important to you and whether or not this is necessary
for them to hear any longer. And so just know that as you're
raising them and they're getting older, there is likely to come
a time when they're going to push against it and you'll need
to be firm with them in coming to hear the word of the Lord
and not in a threatening manner. not in a harsh manner, but in
a firm manner. Be diligent in the nurture and
admonition of the Lord." You know, I have three daughters,
so I can say it the way I'm going to say it, but one of my daughters,
there came a time where we were going to services and Her sleep
schedule was very different from our sleep schedule. And there
were times where she had trouble getting up. And there came a
time where it was time to go. And if we were going to be to
services on time, we had to leave. And she wasn't ready. And so
we left. And I saw, oh, here it comes.
Here it comes. Here comes the battle. Here comes
that day. And this is going to be a challenge. I prayed and I spoke to her. I made sure that when I got home
I spoke to her and she heard. She heard it and came. I just
simply said, this is important to your mother and I. We worship
the Lord. and you're our children, you're
under our house, and I don't ask much of you, but this is
what I do ask of you, is that you come and hear the Lord, and
she did. And I think there was one other
time, but it was a firmness, it was a quick follow-up to address
that, and there is that time where that has to be addressed
with your children. And I say that because I know
that we want We know it's in the Lord's hands. He's going
to give them the heart, but if you leave it with your child
when they're young, they're going to do what the flesh wants to
do, and our flesh would delight in not coming to hear. So remember
that. There's a time to be firm with
your children and to speak to them, not in a threatening manner
or harshly, but you can speak to them in a manner that they
can hear it. So, well, pray, because there
are times when they don't hear it. Another aspect of raising
our children, we read in Proverbs 13, verse 24, he that spareth
his rod, hateth his son. but he that loveth him chasteneth
him betimes." And I looked up that word betimes, and this goes
to what I was saying before. It means early. You follow up
with them early on it, just as it's beginning. You recognize
it and you follow up early with your children. Don't let it slide
because My own human nature tells me, I know that it just builds
and builds and builds and gets worse and worse according to
nature. And so that's what he's saying.
You follow up, you chase them B times in an early manner. Deal with it early because it
only gets more exaggerated and more gross and ugly as they get
older and as they grow in it. Now, another thing though, it
doesn't mean that every infraction is to be taken care of with the
rod, with beating the child in a corporal punishment way, which
means physical way. That doesn't mean that that's
the only way to raise your children and to discipline your children. The rod of discipline can be
used in other effectual ways for your children. and knowing
your child and what motivates them. And there are, you know,
the rod of discipline isn't always the belt or a switch. There's
other ways to raise your children effectually. And I've heard other
older pastors confirm that and say that as well, who were raised
in times when all I ever heard from my parents was that pretty
much it was a physical punishment typically. But no, there are
ways that you can effectively raise your children and help
them to hear what you're saying. And that means it takes time
to get to know your children and spend time with them and
know them, speak with them, and speak with them early. Because
it can go a long way in them obeying you from the heart, hearing
what you're saying in the heart, rather than just complying for
the time, even though they hate everything you're saying and
they don't agree with it. And so I was thinking, you know,
In regards to how we speak to our children and raise them and
help them to hear and have a heart that wants to hear, I was thinking
of plants in the garden. Some plants, they begin to produce
bad fruit. A tomato plant can begin to Produce
nice looking fruit, but on the bottom it gets that black spot,
and it's corrupted and ruined but rather you know one way to
deal with that is to rip it up and throw it on the Pile the
heat for burning at the end of the season all right That's one
way to deal with a tomato plant doing that another way as I understand
it is which I plan to work on next year, but is to spray it
down with some calcium spray, that it's lacking calcium. And
so you spray the leaves, and you soak the roots with it, and
it might begin to produce good fruit. If plants can be dealt
with in that way, right? Sometimes they need more sunlight,
maybe they need more watering, maybe they need some fertilizer.
Well, in the same way, children benefit from the appropriate
response to certain things and dealing with it in that manner.
And that's what I'm saying, that some things can be more effective
than always using a corporal punishment, a physical punishment
in that way. Here's what I was getting toward
now in this part of the message is that I was thinking about
fathers in scripture. I was thinking about fathers
in scripture and different examples. And the one that I actually settled
on is Paul, the Apostle Paul. And that may sound odd because
we know Paul wasn't married. Paul had no physical children
of the flesh. But Paul actually is a pretty
good example. Early, when Paul was going around
with Barnabas, we read of a time where they had a young man, John
Mark, that ministered to them. And there was a fierce argument
between Paul and Barnabas over John Mark, because John Mark
wanted to go home. for a season. And Paul was very
firm in where he stood on John Mark and wasn't very favorable
of John Mark. He was very harsh toward him
and toward his behaviors. But we also see another example.
Now, later on, John Mark became useful to Paul. We know that
from his later letters written later on. But we also see another
example in Timothy. in Timothy, and Paul spoke to
Timothy and treated Timothy like a son, like a father. And I believe
it has very much of an influence on what Paul says here in Ephesians
6, 4, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring
them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. So let's turn to
2 Timothy. Go to 2 Timothy chapter 1. And I want to pick up in verse
two, and we'll read down to verse 10, and I'll just make some comments
from this passage as we go. 2 Timothy chapter one, verse
two. To Timothy, my dearly beloved
son. grace, mercy, and peace from
God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. So here we see that
Paul speaks very tenderly to Timothy. From what we can understand,
this is the last letter that Paul ever wrote, that we have
in the Bible. This is his last letter, and
it's written to Timothy, his dearly beloved son. And we see
that he ministered to Timothy, he loved Timothy, he invested
in Timothy. A lot of time, a lot of love,
a lot of encouragement in the Lord. He says now in verse 3,
I thank God whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience
that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and
day. So here we see that Paul The
father, if you will, the spiritual father, one who treated Timothy
as his son, he prayed for Timothy. He prayed for Timothy often,
day and night. He thought of him a lot, and
that's an encouragement. to all parents with children,
whether they're in your house or not in your house, pray for
them. Pray for them often. Pray for them night and day.
Don't think lightly of it. Pray for them. And you that know
others, have friends, have relatives, have members in the church with
children, pray for the parents that they also pray. Pray for
the children. Pray for them that the Lord bless
the work in their hearts and bless the work in the hearts
of his children and that they would hear. He says in verse
four, greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears,
that I may be filled with joy. Paul thought fondly of Timothy. Just like a parent, you parents,
you have an intimate, personal relationship with your children. You know them well. You know
them well. You've seen their tears. You've
heard their tears. You know their concerns. You
know their desires. You know the things that they
have a real hope and interest in. And Paul recognized, he knew,
Timothy had a true interest in the Lord. He had a true interest
in Christ. And he nurtured that. He nurtured
that real interest in Christ. He wanted to see that grown by
the Lord in Timothy. Remember, we think of 1 Corinthians
chapter 13. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 is a
chapter of love. It teaches us the unfailing love. nature of love, of true love. And he says in verse seven and
eight, that love beareth all things, love believeth all things,
love hopeth all things, love endureth all things, love never
faileth. And that's probably easiest for
parents with their children. We love our children. There's
a close, familiar, dear relationship that we have with our children. And so we want to nurture that
which is good, and we want to address that which is not good,
that which is evil. And if you see that developing
in your children, address it. Because if you don't address
it, maybe nobody else will. And you have such an interest
in your children, as uncomfortable as it could be sometimes, especially
as they get to be older, at least be faithful to address it. They
may not hear it, but you're one of the few people they have in
their lives that can speak to them on that level, on that personal
level. You're one of the few people
in any person's life, it's a parent speaking to their child. And
more likely, they'll at least give you some time to say what
you got to say. And they may not like it, but it isn't always
that way. But nurture, you really want
to nurture that which is positive, especially in the Lord. And so
Paul continues that nurturing in Timothy in verse five now.
Paul continues here, and he says, when I call to remembrance the
unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother
Lois, and thy mother Eunice, and I am persuaded that in thee
also. And I was thinking, you know,
we don't always have that blessing. That's such a cherishing thing
when you have a believing child. It's rare. It's rare. But when you have it, cherish
it. If you have it, cherish it. Pray for your children, pray
for your friends and family, and those that you know have
children that are believers, pray that the Lord bless them
with that, because it's such a rare and a sweet blessing to
have children that do believe Christ, that are here in Christ. And so Paul is encouraging Timothy,
and he's reminding Timothy, he's taking time to remind Timothy
of the gift of faith that God has given to them. And that's
important for us to affirm to believers, to believing children. It's important to affirm that
in them, to encourage them in that which the Lord has done
for them. You know, you think about yourself, and you think
about all the struggles, all the hardships, all the doubts,
all the failings that you have experienced as believers in the
Lord. You think about that and how
trying it has been in your raising up in the Lord and how the Lord's
dealt with you. And then you think, well, my
child who's a believer, they're going to go through those same
hardships and those same trials and those same difficulties and
oppositions against them. And the Lord tells us, whether
it's with our children, or other believers, or even unbelievers,
to a degree, that the God of all comfort, who comforteth us
in all our tribulation, does this that we may comfort others
who are also going through those same difficulties and trials. Yes, the Lord needs to bring
it to their heart, but the Lord also uses brethren, to encourage
his children, to encourage them in the things which they've gone
and experienced before. Even if it's not personal and
every detail isn't known, you still know what it's like to
go through difficulties and hardships and things that press you out
of measure and squeeze you and put you in positions that you
just don't think you can ever get out of. Well, in the same
way, if believers If you as believers go through tribulation, and we're
told all believers go through tribulation, then that means
that your children who are believers are going to have tribulation,
have trials, have hardships, have difficulties. And even the
things that they experience now as unbelievers may be used by
the Lord effectually to strip them of their strength and their
self-confidence and their self-righteousness and bring them to see their need
of the Lord. And having heard that gospel
when they were young, maybe the Lord will bring it to their mind
and cause them to seek Him and cry out for mercy in that day. And so what's amazing here, why
I bring this up, why I'm bringing this out is because Paul, as
a father, as looking at Timothy as his son, as his father, rather
than discourage Timothy. Because you know, as a parent,
we don't want to see our children experience pain and suffering.
And we do everything we can to minimize the severity of the
pain we know they're going to feel. We do everything we can
to limit it. It's just what comes naturally
to us as parents, but we know The only way they're going to
hear me, the only way they're going to know is going through
it themselves. And we hope that they'll hear something that we
give them to help them. But it's amazing that Paul, who
loves Timothy, rather than discouraging Timothy, actually encourages
Timothy in that which is going to bring him into tribulation
as a believer. You see that? He's actually encouraging
him, saying, I know it's going to be hard, Timothy. And Timothy
did perish. According to tradition, he perished
in Ephesus at the hands of the townspeople who were doing idolatry,
who were just into an idolatrous festival. And he addressed it,
and he perished in a brutal way. And he suffered him and died.
And so it's not easy as a parent to encourage your child in that
which, according to the flesh, be against them, but Paul here
did. And that's what he's saying to
parents. Nourish and admonish them in the Lord. And so he says
in verse six, wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou
stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on
of my hands. And the question to us is, will
you encourage your children as believers, those that are believers
and those that don't, are you encouraging them to press on
in the Lord, to move toward the Lord knowing that it's going
to bring them tribulation in the flesh. It's going to bring
them difficulties in the flesh, though it will result in their
eternal glory, their eternal rest, their eternal life. And that's the thing to remember.
Let us do the same in the Lord. Let us encourage them to stir
up that gift which the Lord has given them in the hope of faith,
in the hope of Christ, the promise of life that we have in the Lord
Jesus Christ, or is our focus on teaching them how to do well
in this wicked world, how to fit in with a fallen world. That's
the other option. We either encourage them in the
Lord, or we encourage them in the dead things of this world.
Now, in 2 Timothy 1, verses 7 and 8, Paul, again, affirms that
which we as parents are to do with our children. And he says,
for God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power,
and of love, and of a sound mind. Be not thou therefore ashamed
of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but be
thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the
power of God. And so we see here, Paul as a
father to his dearly beloved son in the gospel, he encourages
him to press on. Don't fear that which is going
to give you difficulties in the flesh and press you out of measure
in the flesh, you press on and lower because it's for your good. It's for the promise of life
that we have in the Lord Jesus Christ. And so Paul's bringing
up Timothy, if you will, in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord. And that's very different from
how we commonly raise our children. We've spent a lot of focus on
raising them to be productive citizens of this world, right,
in this world. And they do need jobs and they
do need to provide for themselves, but Make sure you give as much,
if not more, diligence in helping them to seek the things which
are Jesus Christ's, to seek those things in the Lord. Now, if your
children are going to be believers, it's first, it's only by the
grace of God. You can invest a lot of time
in your children and do that which is right. and speak to
them, and pray for them, and bring them to hear the gospel.
It's by God's grace. It's only by God's grace if they
hear and believe Him, and the Spirit's going to reveal the
Son in them. And He's going to reveal the
Son in them through the preaching of the gospel. That's why it's
so important to put the gospel above you know, the means that
we make for ourselves in this life, in the flesh. And so Paul,
what does Paul do? He sets the example as a faithful
father to his children. He declares the gospel to Timothy,
his beloved son, his dearly beloved son. He says in verse nine and
ten, who hath saved us, and called us within holy calling, not according
to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace which
was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began. we're affirming over and over
and over to our children that Christ is salvation. He is the Savior of His people. He came, He suffered for His
people, He died on the cross, laying down His life as their
sacrifice, as their substitute, bearing our sins, bearing our
punishment under the wrath of God to make atonement for us
to make a covering for our sin and Paul preached that and he
preached it to Timothy. Even though Timothy knew it,
he continued to affirm this to Timothy and declared Christ who
came for our redemption, who came as our substitute in the
flesh, to lay down his life. And he's now, verse 10, manifest,
now made manifest by the appearing of our Savior Jesus Christ, who
hath abolished death and hath brought life and immortality
to light through the gospel. And so we see that our Savior
came and accomplished that which He purposed to do, that which
He came to do, He accomplished it being faithful to His Father. And so parents, teach your children
Christ. Remind them of Christ. Stir them
up. In the promise of life and the
Lord Jesus Christ, you love them. I know you do. As parents, we
love our children dearly no matter how old they get. No matter how
old they get. And when you have grandchildren,
there's still something peculiar about the love you have for your
child. that never fades. There's still such a connection
there to your own child. So above all things, teach them
Christ, pray for them, because it really is only by the grace
of God that they'll hear and believe and continue in the faith
of the saints. I pray that that's an encouragement
to us, even as a body of believers, to know the importance of what
our God has done in establishing his church here. That his people
now and his people to come, the young ones, that they would hear
the gospel and have that blessing of having the gospel. Because
if you don't have it, the best thing to do is to pick up and
move and bring your family to a place where the gospel is preached. It'll be well worth it to you,
especially if the Lord is merciful and gracious to them in helping
and blessing them to hear the gospel and believe on the Lord
Jesus Christ. Amen. Let's close in prayer. Our gracious Lord, we thank you,
Father, for your word to us. We thank you for the reminder
of what our Savior has done and how this is all of your grace. And Lord, we look to you as we
seek to do that which is good and right for our children. Lord,
we know it's of your grace. We pray that you would bless
the word, that you would Bless the Gospel here and cause it
to continually go forth, showing forth that Christ alone is salvation,
and there is no other salvation but in Him. That we would be
faithful to declare Your Word, faithful to declare the Lord
Jesus Christ, and that You would bless that Word to Your people. and bless the word to the children,
cause them to hear it, Lord. Even those that are older and
out of the house, Lord, we pray for your mercy and grace, that
you would cause them to hear it, to remember that which they've
heard, and to be stripped of their vain hopes in this life,
that they would seek Lord Jesus Christ and that they would find
him in the preaching of the gospel that they would hear him be fed
and nourished and be given faith and grow in him it's in the name
of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ we pray amen