Ephesians chapter 5. What we're going to see this morning
as we look again at this chapter, this relationship with the husband
and the wife and a picture of the church, we're going to see
the proper order of things. This is the proper order of things.
This society disagrees with the proper order of things. Do you
know why? Sin. They can't stand God and their
natures. They can't stand the things that
represent God. and His providence in the way
that this world operates. But we're going to see the proper
order of things. Last week we looked at this great mystery
of marriage. This great mystery of marriage.
This message goes with last week's message. Twenty years from now,
somebody's listening to this, you can go look it up on the
computer or wherever they got then and listen to last week's
message first. These things kind of build on
each other, don't they? They ought to be able to stand
alone by themselves and I pray that they do. But we grow through
these things. That's why the Lord puts a body
of believers together, so he can grow us in grace. That's the building blocks. Imagine
being 13 years old and going through a growth spurt, and it's
July, you want to grow something before school starts back, and
you grew every bit of what you were going to grow that summer
in one hour. It hurt, wouldn't it? That's why we don't show
up and you don't come to church twice a year and eat a meal and
say, I've grown in grace and then go back to doing what you're
doing. The Lord designed this on purpose.
I pray if you'll give us eyes to see it, we'll see towards
the end there how this application applies to husbands and wives
and all throughout. Our God's a God of order. This
covenant of grace was established, this marriage between Christ
and His church before time was. It wasn't a covenant of works. It's been six years since I preached
a wedding, and it might be another six before I ever get to again,
but I look forward to it. Whenever two people stand together
and get married, two believers get married, they're entering
into a covenant of grace, because it's a picture of Christ and
His church and that covenant of grace. Christ didn't say to
the Father in times before, I will if they will. He said, I will. He said, I do. When a husband
looks at a wife, he don't say, I'm going to love you and take
care of you, I'm going to love you as Christ loves the church, as long as
you don't run around on me. As long as you keep house, as
long as you keep groceries in the refrigerator, he says, I
do. It don't matter if you do, I
do. Rod looks at her husband and
she says, I do. So for you young folks, it's
something to pay close attention to. I pray we can see that this
morning. This instruction is given carnally
to wives. As I walk in this world, it's
given to you brides, to you wives. And this instruction that we're
going to read, it's given to those spiritual wives, men and
women, the bride of Christ. And we're going to see that anything
that's asked of us, any precept that's given in the Scriptures,
wives submit to your husbands, Christ fulfilled it on behalf
of His people. Everything. So we're going to
see the physical, the spiritual, and the fulfillment. Some children
of God, by His perfect wisdom and providence, are given the
ability to serve the Lord as a picture of the gospel, of the
glad tidings. Somebody asked Brother Barnard
one time, got him after service, got him in office, got him by
himself, said, Brother Barnard, I want to serve the Lord. He
said, well, do it. That's brilliant. I want to serve
the Lord. Do it. Serve. Some people our
whole lives or great believers are given to be a picture of
that gospel, that news that the triune God is holy and just. That there's a peculiar people
put in Christ before time. And that people, they fell in
Adam. They fell in themselves. They woke up every morning, they
fell. And that Christ came to be born of a virgin for them,
to live for them, to die for them, to be risen for them. All that were given to Christ
will be kept for eternity. And no one can take them out
of His hand. Nobody, that includes me. I wish
we could get that. And this people, this bride,
this lamb's wife, has been with our Lord, is one with our Lord,
and shall be one with our Lord in glory forever." Some are privileged
to be an example, a type of this, to show it in their life. That
would be a burden too, wouldn't it? To have something in your
life go through a trial you'd have to endure to be a picture
of this gospel. Think Jonah got seasick on the
way to Tarsus? He probably got cold, didn't
he? He got wet. And that whale's belly, it probably
wasn't the most comfortable place to be. There might have been
some of the bones in there poking him. There wasn't anyone there
to see him. No one saw this outwardly, this
discomfort. But inwardly, there was some
burden he bore, wasn't there? He was all along with the Lord.
But what a picture of our Redeemer. and this man Jonah's life of
our Redeemer's death, burial, and resurrection. What a privilege
Jonah had to go through that to be a picture of our Christ,
of our gospel, of our Lord, to be a living testimony of free
and sovereign grace. Think about those three Hebrew
children, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were publicly
scorned. There wasn't 10 people there.
They was brought up in front of the masses. The king got on
to them. Nebuchadnezzar said, what you doing? Better do what
I tell you. They were threatened. He said, I'll kill you. And then
they were bound. Handcuffed. Led to the furnace. Shame. That's a walk of shame,
isn't it? What a privilege to be chosen of God, to come out
of that furnace not even smelling of smoke. To be on this earth
walking and talking. as a proof that His name is Jesus
and He shall save His people. And when this world's over, that
smell of sin won't even be a hint on us. We have the sweet smelling savor
of Christ. Imagine the privilege if you
and I were given an opportunity to be a living picture of the
gospel of God's grace. We are. Wake up every morning. We are. We're given this. What we're
going to look at today is the wife. You brides, you are a walking,
living example of this gospel. But in every situation we are.
All believers are, aren't we? How we talk to little children.
How we dress. How we conduct ourselves in this
life. How we drive an automobile carriage, if you like the older
terminology. How we interact with traffic
on a road is an opportunity of publicly being a picture of our
gospel. But we're going to look at the
wives. First off, there's a lot of husbands and wives out there,
isn't there? You go through this country, it's diminishing. I
could give a history lesson maybe in another 50 years of what marriage
is and then go into what a husband and a wife ought to be. But there's
a lot of husbands and wives out there. There's a whole lot of
quote unquote Christians too, ain't there? What's my audience? That's a big thing in public
speaking. Who am I talking to? What's my audience? Who am I
speaking to? I'm speaking to believing husbands and wives. That's who Paul's talking to.
That's who I'm talking to. Believing husbands and wives,
and I'm especially speaking to unmarried believers and you young
people. You that believe Christ. He's
quickened. He's performed a work in you.
You pay attention to me. And especially you little people.
You listen to me. You see, you're in Ephesians
5 verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the
head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and
He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything."
Wives are to submit to their husbands just like they submit
to the Lord. Husbands, you are to love your
wives just like Christ loved the church, his bride. If you
don't know the Lord, you can't submit to your husband as you
submit unto the Lord. If you don't know the Lord, you
can't love your bride as Christ loved the church. Paul's speaking
to believers. I'm speaking to believers today.
Why is the wife always addressed first? You ever wondered that?
That's scriptures. Anytime it's addressed, The wife's mentioned first. They
have their own sin, don't they? That's the bride. They have demons
running inside of them. That old fleshly nature that's
warring with that new spirit inside of them. Just as every
other believer is, don't they? And then, so young, In this life,
they're married to somebody else, to a husband. And that husband
says, I'm the head of the house. I'm so good. This is where the
Lord put me. You got to learn. She's got to
sit there dealing with her own self and got to wait for her
Lord to teach him different, to teach her husband better.
She needs comfort in first, don't she? This instruction here in
chapter 5 is to believe in wives and to believe in husbands. Well,
what if I'm married but neither me nor my spouse know the Lord? My marriage ain't working. We've
got some rocky roads. I'm spending more time in a motel
than I am at home. But we don't know the Lord. Learn of Him first. First and foremost. Come to Christ. Learn of Him. Christ is the one
thing needful, not fixing your marriage. So if we had more books about
who Christ is and what He accomplished for His people than we do to
fixing marriages, people may know Him more in this country.
We come individually to Him. That's why you need to learn
of Him first. We don't come as a group. We don't come as husband
and wife. The Lord will save us because
we are knit together. He saves us individually, then
He knits us together, grows us together. If you are unmarried
and you believe Christ, if you are His, do not marry an unbeliever. You young ladies, you be careful
who you marry anyway. Because whenever you go into
that covenant of grace, that covenant of marriage to another
person, you're going to be submitting to them for a long time. Be careful
about who you marry. And you young people are right
where you need to be, right now. This is where, I've heard this
stuff since I was a little tiny fella. I always tell you that.
I reach down here when I do it. You are right where you need
to be. This is how the Lord teaches His people. You need to hear
this, right where you sit. Paul told us, 2 Corinthians,
be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship
hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light
with darkness? If Christ is the most important
thing in my life, and if you're His, He is your life, how could
I turn to one and say, oh man, you know what the Lord did today?
And they said, don't hear it. I don't want to hear it. Don't willfully
go into that. Don't willfully walk into that.
But what if I believe and my spouse doesn't? Turn over 1 Peter
chapter 3. This happens much more frequently. Much more frequently. A man or
a woman, husband or wife, they're married. One of them hears the
gospel. The Lord sends a preacher to
them. And they see Christ. Christ is
revealed in them. The Lord saves them. He makes
them willing in the day of His power. But the spouse doesn't
have a care in the world for the gospel. This happens frequently.
This happens often. Sometimes the spouse, they don't
fight with them, but they go along to get along. And they'll
go to church with them and they'll doodle next to them and they'll
daydream. They'll think about what they're
going to plant in the garden that year or whatever. Or they take a nap
while they're sitting next to them. What am I as the bride
of Christ, as His bride? What am I supposed to do with
my unbelieving spouse? Do I make them come? Do you make them pay attention
and stay focused and awake whenever they come? Both are impossible,
ain't they? Can't do that. Can't handcuff
somebody and bring them nowhere. You can't keep somebody's focus
or attention no matter how open their eyes are. You can't keep
them awake. What are we supposed to do? Look here in 1 Peter 3
verse 1. 1 Peter 3 verse 1. Likewise ye wives, be in subjection
to your own husbands. Peter is saying own husbands
too. We're going to see that in a little bit. This is important.
Be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not
the word they also May without the word be won by the conversation
of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation coupled
with fear." Wives, if your husbands do not know the Lord, submit
to Him as you submit to Christ within reason. We're not looking
to breaking laws or anything or missing church. That's a whole
other message. It says, Wives, submit yourselves to your own
husbands as it is fit in the Lord. It's what Paul tells us
in Colossians. As it's fit. Wives are to submit to their
own husbands as it's fit, as it's proper, becoming saints,
as it is to the Lord. If there's an obvious law breaking,
the husband's saying, Wife, I want you to go out, you submit to
me, but I want you to go rob some banks. Don't go rob banks. You don't have to do that. That's
not fit into the Lord. And if the husband forbids a
believing wife to sit underneath the gospel, that's not fit either.
You are to be appealing to your husband, your unbelieving husband,
by obeying your God, in your actions, living as a child of
light, by your words. There's authority we have when
we speak the truth concerning God and man, according to His
Word. There's authority there. We say
the Lord did this. The Lord made it rain today.
The Lord didn't want me going down there today. That's why
the car won't start. There's authority there because we know
what we're talking about. And by fearing God and honoring Him,
why would a believing wife submit to an unbelieving husband that
he may be won over? He could say, why are you doing
this? Christ is why I'm doing this. And He said, I don't want
to go hear whatever you heard. I see a change. Now this is to
the wife. All this bleeds together, the
husbands and the wives. But the husbands, this applies to you
too. If you have an unbelieving wife,
you laid down your life for her. As Christ laid down His life
for the church. You forgive as Christ forgave
you. And one day the Lord may use
that work in her heart and she'll say, what has gotten into you?
And you say, oh honey, it ain't what's gotten into me, it's who. I know where you can hear about
Him. Back in our text, in Ephesians
5. Physically, in our walk in this
world, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto
the Lord." What is submit? We just cringe when we hear that,
don't we? Submit. It means esteem the other higher
than yourself. Put their needs first. The two
Hebrew root words that comes up with submit here means arrange
in an orderly manner under someone. Be orderly about it. Be purposeful
about it. to be under someone. Give place
to the husband. Give honor to that position because
God has. That's why we're to do it. We're
not to speak negatively about our Lord, are we? And wives shouldn't
speak negatively about their spouses either. Husbands shouldn't
speak negatively about their brides. Not in public, not in
private, not in front of the children, Not just around family. Don't let it happen. Not to do
that. What is it to submit? Put their needs before our own.
Who are we to submit to? Our own husbands. Why submit
to your own husbands? Why did Peter make such an emphasis
putting that in there? Why did Paul, every time he wrote
it, put your own husbands? If a wife comes to one of you
husbands and said, honey, I love you. I love you like I love every
man on the face of the earth. All of a sudden that love don't
matter, does it? That's not electing love, is
it? That's not a covenant of grace,
of love. It says, no, it's your own husband's. It's meant to
one. Your one husband that's given
to you. And don't you worry about what all your girlfriend's husbands
are doing. That's submitting to your own husband. Well, Billy
down the street, he let his wife do this, or he told her to do
that, or she got a new house, or she got a new car. Here's
what she got for her birthday. No, submit to your own husband. Don't
matter what that's doing. Don't worry about what their
plans are. Don't question other husbands
either. I can't believe he's doing that. We'll see this as
it grows spiritually and in completion. But I can't believe he got that
for her birthday. You don't know her like I know
her. It's an inside gift. You don't need to question those
things, do you? How are they to do that? As unto the Lord. You may
be responsible, but he's the one accountable. You say, well,
I don't trust my husband. Maybe you shouldn't. He's a child
of Adam, just like we are, isn't he? Just like every one of us.
But do you trust the one who joined you together? Do you trust
the Lord that rules and reigns in the hearts of the king and
everybody else? Do we trust him? Turn to Philippians
chapter 2. One book to the right there,
Philippians 2. Here's a great motivation for
a woman that is just as wise as her husband, or wiser. That's
just as able-bodied, has just as many good ideas as her husband
does, and just as worthwhile of an intellect. Husbands will
look at us next week. Why would a person that's just
equal in mind and body, submit to another human being. I'm married
up. My wife is smarter than I am.
She has a longer memory than I do. Why would she want to submit
to me? She can remember better than
I can. Here in Philippians 2 verse 5, remember Paul's writing to
believers here. Let this mind be in you, which was also in
Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God thought it not robbery
to be equal with God. made himself of no reputation,
and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the
likeness of men. And being found in fashion as
a man, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even
the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly
exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name." In
our physical walk in this world, it's a great honor to be a bride,
to be a wife. to represent the Bride of Christ,
to be a living example to your husbands, to your friends, to
your brethren, to your children, of what Christ has done in and
for His people. I hear that so often of, they're just a housewife.
That runs through me. It gets me so upset. Would you
say, well, I'm just a child of God? Oh, we wouldn't say that,
would we? Oh, no. That came at too dear
a price, didn't it? to become a child of God. I came
at the price of Christ's blood. This church of God, this bride
of His, that's a precious bride. That's the bride He came to this
earth for. That's the bride that He lived
for, that He shed His blood for. In their place, He became their
substitute. He entered into that grave willingly
for this bride. And He rose for this bride. That
ain't just a housewife, is it? We're not just children of God,
are we? We are children of God. To be a person redeemed by the
blood of the Lamb is the highest office a human could ever hold.
So many people seek honor and praise and those high seats in
the synagogue. To be a child of God, what a
precious thing. and to be given a privilege to
live a life that typifies the gospel, that shows others the
glad tidings, that's a high honor and a high calling. That's a
ministry for all around you. Service to them. Now for all
of us, the spiritual bride. I try to divide these where we
can chew on them. Here's physically how you walk.
Here's spiritually what this means to male and female to the church
of God. And here's how Christ fulfilled it all. But it just
all bleeds together, don't it? You can't separate them. You
can't separate this man that's inside of me. Spiritually, who
is this? The bride of Christ. Men and
women, you are bought with a price. A dowry was paid. It was blood. That's what it was. You were
loved before. You were foreknown. You were
chosen in love. You were redeemed in love. You
were robed in those wedding garments. Your husband has provided for
you, male and female. What is a spiritual bride to
do? You are to submit yourselves. The whole of you. Every bit of
you. Same as that physical application,
you have to esteem the other higher than yourself. If we know
Christ, he is esteemed higher than we esteem ourselves. If
we know who we are, we esteem our brethren higher than ourselves,
don't we? We put their needs first. We're
arranged in an orderly manner under someone. Give place to
the husband. Christ our husband. We give honor
to Him and His position as the head of His church. Why? Because
God has. The Father has. The Father has honored Him in
His person and His office. We're not to speak negatively
about our Lord. And we shouldn't with our spouses
either. Don't talk negatively about Him. Who is to submit to? Your own husbands. We have one
husband of where he is. We don't have Christ on Wednesdays
and Buddha on Tuesdays. We don't have wedding vows of
grace one day and works the next day, do we? We submit to our
own husbands. How do we submit to Christ our
husband? As we do unto the Lord, submitting
to Him in all things, trusting Him, honoring Him. Is that really to every one of
us or is this just talking about women? Couldn't be, right? Look
here at verse 24. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. We're to do it in everything.
And in verse 21, this is all of us. Submitting yourselves
one to another in the fear of God. The church is to fully submit
in everything to cross their husband. We're to trust him,
honor him, and rest in him. Experience the strength of your
husband. That's his responsibility, isn't it? Well, he'll take care
of it. That's a guy I know that catches
a lot of fish and crawfish for a living. And he told his wife,
he said, I'm going to go out and catch some crawfish. And
whenever he went to go fishing, she started making the gravy.
She started making the biscuits. He told his grandson, he said,
you know why she's making that? He said, because you told her
you was going to go fishing. He goes, that's right. She believes me.
I'm going to bring some fish back. She's resting in her husband. That's what we're to do to our
spiritual husband. And this pattern goes from the smallest to the
largest. People say, they got a lot of things to knock about
science. There's an order to things. Don't put my faith in
science, but as a scientist, I look under a microscope and
I say, look what the Lord made. Not how can man manipulate it,
but look what the Lord did. You go to physics on a molecular
level to a planetary level, it's the same. The Lord's consistent,
isn't he? In the home, husbands and wives. Wives, submit to your own husbands
as unto the Lord. Honor him, don't talk bad about
him, submit to him in all things. In the church, pastors are as
a husband to the congregation and the bride. Wives submit to
your own husbands as unto the Lord. Not to every pastor we
know. We honor them, we respect them,
what the Lord's put into it, but there'll come a day I say
something you don't like. Well, I'm going to call Gabe,
I'm going to call Brother Clay, and I'm going to call Brother
John, I'm going to call Brother Rick. I'm going to get this thing sorted.
I'm going to keep calling around until I find somebody that tells me
what I want to hear. It's meant to your own husbands. Those other
pastors, they've got people that their own brides attend to as
well, don't they? They may not answer the phone. So in the home
of husbands and wives, in a local assembly, Our pastors in the
local assembly and then in this generation, all these local assemblies
together, these other locations we know of where the Lord saved
some folks. They're on the East Coast, on
the West Coast, in the Midwest, several places throughout there.
We're all governed by Christ our husband, aren't we? Our head.
Why submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord?
We don't have a governing body to rule over us, to sanction
who's going to, what pastor's going to move every two or three
years. That makes some people's heads spin. They say, well, where
did you go to seminary? Well, who gave you the marching
orders to come here? Christ my husband did. My head
did. He did it in the hearts of his
people. They just ain't good enough. and then throughout time. In the home, in the church, and
all the local assemblies in a generation, and throughout time, that body
of Christ, from the first saint to the last. The whole church
In Christ our head, the wives, the body, submits to our own
husband as unto the Lord. We, everyone, turn to Him. We
submit, we turn the whole of ourselves over to Him, to Christ,
our kinsman, redeemer, our head, our husband, not to another,
and especially not to ourselves. Especially not to ourselves.
While I think, stop, submit to your husbands. Why is Christ
worthy to submit to, as unto the Lord? He is Lord. He is Lord. This is the determined order
our triune God set forth. Therefore, it's right. Every
knee shall bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord. The
Lamb of God, who laid down His life for His bride, for His wife,
is worthy. Worthy is the Lamb. Christ is
our example in all things. and he accomplished everything
for his people. Everything. The precepts of wives
submitting to your husbands as our walk in this world. This
is a principle, isn't it? How you doing? How you doing
at it? Is that what you did? You done
that your whole life? From your youth up? Like a rich
young ruler? The Lord always comes to us at
that second table, doesn't he? Second table of the law. Knowing
We think we can do that, but we don't have the first table
written in our hearts. He hasn't done that for them yet. But how
have we done walking this earth? Brethren, men and women, that
spiritual bride of Christ, how have we done honoring Christ
our Husband in all things? How have we done submitting to
Him this morning? Well, I'm mad about this, I think. Have I done that today? Did Christ
submit to the Father? He said, I came down from heaven,
not to do mine own will, but the will of Him that sent me. Why did He do that? I'm required
to. You're required to. That's why
He came. That's just New Testament stuff,
isn't it? What does Psalm 40 say? Then said I, lo, I come,
and the volume of the book it is written of me, I delight to
do thy will, O God. Yea, thy law is written within
my heart." He came to do the Father's will, just as a wife
is equal to her husband in many ways, in many abilities, ideas,
wisdom, education, but is to submit to her husband, to the
head. Christ came to be made like us,
to obey the Father on our behalf, the whole time being totally
equal with Him. Completely equal with the Father.
We read there in Philippians 2.6, "...who being in the form
of God thought it not robbery to be equal with God." Why didn't
he think he was stealing honor? Because he was equal with Him.
He is Him. He said, I and my Father are
one. If you've seen me, you've seen the Father. They're one. Christ prayed to the Father always. There was communication there,
wasn't there? You husbands and wives in your
homes, talk to one another. The bride, here, talk to one
another. Call your brethren. See how they're
doing. Call brethren in other communities.
Can't call throughout time, though, can we? We can read a letter
from them, maybe. See what Brother Spurgeon wrote. Maybe Brother
Neal wrote something for us, for our benefit. Communicate
with one another. And our Master, He prayed for
His bride. He said in that high priestly
prayer, I pray for them. I pray not for the world, But
for them which thou hast given me, for they are thine." He prayed
for his own bride. You husbands, pray for your brides.
You wives, pray for your husbands. Y'all pray for me. The Lord gives
me a message. Pray for his preachers throughout this generation and
those to come in time. The Lord raise up people to preach
his gospel to them. In the home, in the congregation,
in the church of our day, and with our husband Christ the Lord,
we pray. We pray together. All right,
next week, we'll be looking at the husbands. We ain't off the
hook yet, are we? And Lord willing, the following
week, we'll look at the parents, the fathers and the mothers.
And that just happened to be on Mother's Day. I couldn't have planned that.