day. Therefore, it is the best
day. So, Lord, open our hearts and
minds to the truth. Open our hearts and minds to
peace so that we would not be shackled by whatever else is
in the way that we may find and rest and know that you love us
with a love that's everlasting. and that what the world says
about you and about who we are in relation to what Christ has
done for us, Lord, that it's not right, but your word reveals
that to us. So help us to focus on the word. Help us to hear the spirit and
to do so in such a way that we're able to rest. And we thank you,
Father, for the truth that you've promised us, that these things
are ours in Jesus Christ. In his name we pray, amen. All right, 1 Peter, chapter five. We finally made it there, 1 Peter
five. When we think about leadership, something's buzzing, y'all hear
that? Okay. Yeah, I hear that, it's buzzing. Oh well, don't worry about it.
When we think about leadership, A lot of things come to mind.
We think about people being in charge, people being the boss,
people doing, staying behind you with a whip or whatever it
may be, but when we look at the biblical example of what a leader
is, a leader is not someone who's the boss. There's no boss in
the Bible. Even Jesus, who is the King of
kings and the Lord of lords, the God of the cosmos, lowered
himself to be like us so that we could share in his glory so
that we could be his righteousness. At the cost of himself, we now
stand at the very place that we see the enemy declaring he
belonged to share and bask in the glory of God. Now we need
to really just grasp this. but we have decades and lifetimes
and generations of programming that has told us what love is,
that has told us what believing is, that has told us what Christianity
is, that told us what humility is, and it's also told us what
leadership is. And beloved, there was a time
where I've written some stuff. I remember 2009, I wrote some
things on the oversight of the elders, and it was so hard that
people came to me and said, Pastor, this is harsh. And you know what
I did? I did not listen. I said, well,
it's not meant to be harsh, it's meant to be true. And sometimes
truth hurts. And that is true, but that is
not the heart of Christ. The Lord doesn't look at us and
go, truth hurts. Suck it up, buttercup. You don't see anywhere in the
Bible except for the arrogant where Jesus stood against them
hardly. You see compassion. And even then, there are sometimes
when compassion exists, but the boldness of just getting to the
core of the fact that some people just need to look in the mirror
seems harsh. But never with us. It should
never be that way. And I remember writing an essay
on that that said, elders do rule. You ever heard that? the ruling
elders, we are not judges. We are not gods. And in every
sense, philosophically, we might come to the place of understanding
how to define that term in a way that
might make sense. But in all reality, elders don't
rule. They rule by serving. They rule in humility. And so, in the same way, leading
is equivocal. But when it comes to leadership,
when it comes to grasping how the church should operate, how
the church should function, there is no place in the Bible where
there is a headship in anything but image except Jesus Christ. Every aspect of our lives is
to be understood that the headship of Christ is seen in his humility. The Philippians text where it
says that he was equal with God, but he did not take equality
with God to be something to be made much of, to be grasped.
He thought it not robbery. but he lowered himself, he gave
himself, he put himself into a place of humility, submitting
even to death on a cross as a convicted, heinous, criminal piece of garbage
according to society. He lowered himself to that place
as the head of all things. So have this mind among you,
which is yours in Christ Jesus. But it's not deprecating. Jesus
never thought himself worthless. Jesus never saw himself lower
than. In true value, in true worth,
he made himself lower than. He placed himself in submission
to that so that the leadership that he came to provide was the
model and also the magnificent power of righteousness. You see the difference? It's
so subtle because the outcome is the same, we lower. I wrote sort of like a little
manifesto this morning, right before service. Nothing to do
with my faith. It has everything to do with
my view of me. And I wanted to be honest about
how I see myself in comparison to how I saw myself over two
years ago. And if I were to read that to
you, half of you would get up and probably spit on me. But
it's fun. That's what poetry is anyway,
right? It's a language of experience. But it doesn't matter. It doesn't
matter what you think. It doesn't matter what I think.
Because we see that the word of God has declared us who we
are. And how dare we say that God
is wrong? How dare we say that God is,
in every sense, not saying what he's saying? Well, what he really
means is, see, that's the hubris of mansplaining, right? We get
to tell each other what God means. when God is very clear what he
means. Take it at face value. And this just doesn't go in the
context, this is just not carrying the wind of frustration and shame
and everything else, and just the idea of leadership in the
church. It's everywhere, it's in culture, it's in government,
it's in the home. And so when we think of leaders,
I'll never forget, I can't forget, it's in my mind every single
day that one of my mentors, when I was in my 20s, and he looked
at the charisma that I had as a person. He looked at, honestly,
the layers and the masks and the costumes that I had learned
to assimilate and to put onto myself to fit into the mold,
but at the same time, there's a sense of our personality which
we can never hide. And he said to me, James, you
have incredible gifts. I didn't believe him. And you're
going to lead a lot of people. Didn't believe that either. But
then he said, but when you are doing that and you look behind
you and no one is following you, you are just a man taking a walk. Now think about that. You look behind you and there's
nobody behind you and you look ahead of you and you're behind
everybody else going, go, go, go. That's not a leader. That's
a slave driver. And that is not the heart of
God. I parented that way. I did my husband duties that
way. I did my eldership that way. I know what I know and I know
what I know is right. Just do it my way. I'll be nice about
Why don't you explain to me how you got to where you're going
and then we'll contemplate. And then I might decide, and
this is not how I thought, but it's how I came to understand
what was really behind the scenes. And then I may be able to give
enough of my cognition to your idea if it resonates well enough
with me logically. And people would say, you just
don't listen. What do you mean I just don't listen? I just gave
you three hours. babbling on and on and on and on. See, if
I were to ever say those things, I would be a jerk. I didn't even
think those things but that is the funnel. Why? Because of what
we were taught that leadership was. You do what you have to
do to do what you know is right. and it doesn't matter what people
think. Now, is that a wrong thing? No,
but when something is right, it doesn't create two wrongs. And what is the greatest law
of leadership? Humility, compassion, and love. So all that said, now
let's get to the text. It's funny how even when the
apostles teach, they teach everyone. They teach everyone. They don't
just say, okay, kids, obey your parents. Does the Bible say that? Yes, it does. Or you might die. I'm just teasing. But it does
say that. But it's not an imminent threat,
it's the reality. Don't put your hand in the little,
Dragon den out there, why daddy? Because the dragon will eat it. But what does it say to dads?
Do not cause your children to be angry with you. Do not cause
them grief and frustration in your oversight, but lead them
gently. Husbands, how do you lead your
wives? By showing them the way. Going first. Be the first to
humble. Be the first to serve. Be the
first to do the dishes. Be the first to wash the clothes.
Be the first. Don't ever, ever, ever expect
anything out of anyone that you are not already doing. And if
you aren't doing it today, you will never do it. It will never
be done. Love your wives as Christ loves
the church, who gave himself up for her that she may be without
blemish. See, the cool thing is, is we
can't give ourselves up for the righteousness of another, because
why would I want to, why would I want to bathe my face with
a dirty duty rag? But the mindset is the same.
That's leadership. That's what it means to be in
charge, to have responsibility. to shine in such a way like the
Bible says, oh, let your light so shine before men that they
may see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in heaven. But what we want is the role
and the title and the power, but there's no power in anything
but submission. I'm not breaking ranks in the
context of what is prudent. There are responsibilities and
roles that have greater responsibility. There are things like our armed
services and our law enforcement and in certain businesses and
certain organizations that there's the boss. And the boss, even
when they're not really good, they are in charge. And so if
they want the widget A to go in the box C and to be shipped
out tomorrow, then by golly, that's what you do. Unless it
can't be done, and then you what? Can't do it. Or that's not gonna work. No,
I won't be a part of doing that because that is not right. Then what you do? You suffer
the consequence of being right. Just because somebody is in charge
in this world's institutions doesn't mean that it's a carte
blanche submission. But what does leadership look
like? So I exhort you elders, remember the context, what's
happening. We've submitted ourselves in our suffering according to
the will of God by entrusting our souls to the fateful creator
while doing good deeds and loving one another. All right, that's
what we're doing. We're not sitting on our hands,
we're not opining and whining, this is what we're doing. So,
so, I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder, and a witness
of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the
glory that is going to be revealed, here's the command, shepherd
the flock of God that is among you. exercising oversight, not
under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you, not for
shameful gain, but eagerly, not domineering over those in your
charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief
shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Likewise, you who are younger
be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you,
with humility toward one another, for God opposes, hates, abhors,
has disdain for the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble
yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that
at the proper time He may exalt you. How? Casting all your anxieties
on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded. Be watchful. Your adversary is prowling around
like a lion, trying to eat you. Resist him, firm in your faith,
knowing that the same kinds of sufferings are being experienced
by your brotherhood, by your brotherhood throughout the entire
world. And after you've suffered for a little tiny while, the
God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ,
will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you
to him be the dominion forever and ever and ever, amen. I love. that verse six is probably one
of the most abused verses in this text. Because when you come, you have
problems, you have thoughts, you have ideas, you're having
conflicts, you're having suffering, and some well-meaning elder who
is in charge of you, humble yourself under the mighty hand of God. I mean, doesn't it fit the profile? Doesn't the voice fit the profile?
Okay, so he's talking to the elders here, not elders to tell
the church to humble themselves, and he's talking to the church
here to tell the church to humble themselves, and he's talking
to the children here, and he's talking to the husbands here, and the
wives here, and the cats, the dogs, and the birds, and everything
else that might be in the fellowship, if you want to personify them.
But why do we pretext things? Because we're leaders. Touch not thine anointed. Remember
that text from the Old Testament? Oh gosh. What does that even
mean? But yet they put their hands
all over Jesus. And they beat him senselessly.
unrecognizably. Then they mocked him. They made
him walk and carry the cross that he would die on. And then they killed him. And
then they stabbed him. And the water and the blood ran
out. He was dead. Touch not thine anointed. I guess
it doesn't mean don't put your hands on me. So let's focus this morning on
the instruction to people like me and Trey. What do we need
to understand? Well, the same thing you need
to understand because you are the ones who hold us accountable
to the things that the Bible tells us we are supposed to do.
Have you ever felt like you couldn't speak up in the church because
it wasn't your place? There's a sister in one of the
programs that I oversee, and she shared that yesterday, that
she's breaking free from the cult-like forces that have held
her bondage in her faith since she was a child. And another
brother who is just now coming to realize the same thing in
his evangelical life. Because you don't question the
elders. You don't question preacher.
Preacher's not an office, by the way. If you open your mouth,
you're a preacher. If you tell the truth, you're
a preacher. If you say, hey, come and get it, you're a preacher.
I mean, you know, it just means to talk out loud. Preacher is
not an office of the church. I hate that word. I cannot stand
it. People call me that all over
everywhere. Hey, preacher. I'm like, just
take the P off. I might break your arm. So I exhort you, let's look at
the first few verses here, verse four. And we'll just keep trolling
through this until we get to the end of verse 11 of the next
12 weeks, maybe. We'll see. First, I want you
to see there's an apostolic framing here. That Peter, as an apostle,
if you wanna look at the hierarchy, the apostles planted the churches,
the apostles trained the elders, the apostles We're sort of like
the boss men of the body. But even Paul, what did he say?
I'm going to come down there to Corinth with a whip and tear you all
a new one. Why? Because they needed flogging.
They were acting like nincompoops and knuckleheads. But I want
you to see that the apostolic framing here is both Paul would
say what he liked to do, but you handle this because this
is your responsibility. Paul didn't have the authority
to come down there and clean up the church. This is not how it works. But
yeah, we have a society that feels, and in some sense, especially
some of the things that we've experienced as a congregation,
it sometimes feels like people think they ought to have a right
to come in and do what they think we need to be doing. In the same
way, sometimes we think as a culture, Christian culture, we have a
right to come into your house and tell you how you ought to
be doing. That's not the way the scripture
teaches it. So, what do we see here? This framing is leadership is
from within, not above. Hey elders, look down below you
and do it this way. All these little peons underneath
you. No, I exhort the elders among
you. That's why I'm not a big fan
of like pastor search committees and things. Man, if a church
isn't growing people to actually fill the roles, what is it doing? We have to ask ourselves why
everybody feels like a hireling in ministry. Because that's all
you are. It's not a job. Sometimes it doesn't even pay.
You still do the role? You still
do the work? Yes, you still do the work. How much salary do
you get from parenting? Or spousing? Or commuting? Yet we still do the work. So
this leadership is from within. I exhort the elders among you
as a fellow elder. I mean, look at that. Peter opens
this charge, not from a place of hierarchy. He opens this charge
from a shared, a place of shared participation. Peter is saying,
though he is an apostle, he calls himself a fellow elder. This
immediately positions the nature of this instruction and the nature
of the leadership in the church as communal and shared, relational. It's not authoritarian. It's very strange, isn't it?
It doesn't feel right. What are you getting at? Well,
I'm getting at what he's saying here. And it's not just here,
it's everywhere. I mean, Paul deals with it specifically. Jesus talks
about it with his disciples, especially in John's gospel.
So leadership is not a rank. It's a role. And it's a role
in the body of Christ. If you go over to Romans chapter
12, what does it tell us to do there? that authenticity does
not flow from, I mean, excuse me, that authority and the authenticity
of that authority does not flow from status. We don't just decide,
well, you know, here's, it's like the book of James. Here's
the best folks to do the job because of what they do in life,
or here's this guy, here's that guy. No, what does it say? For
as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have
the same function, so we, though many, are one in Christ and individually
members of one another. Having gifts that differ according
to the grace that God has given to us, let us use these gifts.
All of us, let us use these gifts. If prophecy, in proportion to
our faith. If service, in serving. The one
who teaches in his teaching, the one who exhorts in his exhortation,
the one who contributes in generosity, the one who leads with zeal,
the one who does acts of mercy with cheerfulness. You know how
many people want to teach but they can't because they don't
know how and they don't have it as a gift? They shouldn't
teach. It doesn't mean they can't lead. People that serve with their
bodies, or with their mind, or with their money, or with their
heart, or with their prayers, or whatever it is that they may
serve. They may serve with their gifts and their talents. We can't
all serve in the same way, but we can serve. Well, I just don't
feel like I have a purpose. You have a purpose. Be authentically
you, number one. That's the greatest purpose that
you'll ever find in the world. And if you're not authentically you,
then you are not living. You are acting. Just acting. And we get so good
at acting that we fool ourselves. And we go, this is who I am and
this is what I do. No. It's a role we play, a responsibility
that we have, an obligation that we may have taken on, but it's
not our identity. So we need to recognize this,
guys. That we are All the same with different things, different
areas of giftedness. And so we need to use those area,
those gifts in the area that we are in locally, collectively. And I like to, I use a lot of
words like presence. We need to have a presence amongst
the body of Christ to be where we are. And that should not cause
any of you to think, oh, I need to do more. That's not the response
to the teaching here. It's the heart of the matter
is the point of the teaching. But this leadership in the body
of Christ, in the church, does not flow from status. It flows
from presence, being present. being here, showing up and then
participating as one who walked, suffered and grown and grows
alongside each other. An older pastor tried to tell
me this years ago. And I had taken, I had taken
the church that he had served for 20 something years. after
almost a four-year gap between his retirement and my calling.
No pastor. It was big shoes to fill. And
he said to me, because he came and visited like six or seven
months afterward, and he said, James, he says, when you suffer
more with some of these people, he said, you'll understand how
to love them more. He said, you'll understand what
it means to literally serve them more. So the harder it gets,
the tighter you'll get with them. Is that not the truth? It is. Why? Because tension tests. Suffering tests, what we've been
learning, right? Pain tests. It tests what? What does it test? The authenticity.
It tests the genuineness. So leadership in the same way,
the roles that we have in the church are tested by the failings in
the context of our applying and living out these things, and
then the process of actually having pushback, having conflict.
If we don't have conflict, we don't have intimacy. Because
if we don't have conflict, we don't even test the rains. We're
just walking around on rice paper hoping it doesn't rain. so we're to grow alongside each
other. Leadership is from within, not above. Love one another with
brotherly, sibling affection. Outdo one another in showing
honor. This is the exhortation of all people. And you know how
I am, and I haven't had to say this in a while, but I hate yeah
buts. Yeah, but. If I had triggers, that'd still
be one. I would love to, like, Judy Chop
those words out of people's minds. Nope! Pow! Me and one of my business
partners, he was a fitness coach for so long, and he used to tell
people, I can't walk around and slap food out of your hand while
you eat it. You gotta hold yourself accountable. We can't change
people's minds. We can't change people's lives.
We can't change people. We can only respond according
to truth. And that truth starts and ends
with humility, love and compassion, especially as leaders. The second
thing is we see here, it says a witness of the sufferings of
Christ as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to
be revealed. The witness of Christ's suffering, leadership then must
flow from the cross. And I've already given this away
because I just get excited about this whole idea. Jesus is the ultimate leader.
And they mocked him for it. Hey, if you're the son of God,
take yourself down off the cross. As he pulled himself up on that
charred wood, back exposed, nerves exposed, muscle exposed, as he
pulled against the tendons of his wrist into pulling himself
up to take a breath, because the way crucifixion works is
that you drown in your own fluids as it enters your lungs. That's how it works. And people
would typically last for days. So you push up against the nails
in your ankles, and you pull up against the nails in your
wrists, and you don't die. You just live. And that's leadership. It's macabre. I understand it. But that's the
essence of that humility. So as you fellow elders are among
the church, you're sharing this responsibility, this participation
of oversight, and in the same way, it flows from the cross,
a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker
in the glory that is going to be revealed. See, Peter roots
his leadership not in his own credibility. Now, hey, you know
Peter, right? What a transformation. We can all write the manifestos.
We can all write the mantras. We can all write the biography.
We can all write the incantation of who we are. I'll tell you
who I am. You know who you're talking to. You ever thought to yourself
that I am the origin, not the beginning of anything? Unpack that for a minute. Sounds
almost God-like, doesn't it? That's Peter's mindset. He was
so zealous. He loved Christ, but when it
got hard, who? Jesus what? Who? I don't even
know a Jesus. Are you talking about that guy
down there at the bakery? Yeah, I don't know that guy.
Oh, that guy? I never heard of him. Haven't
I seen you hanging out with this Jesus from Nazareth? Who, me?
Ah, no, that's another Peter. That was Peter from Statesboro.
Don't know him. That knucklehead, what an idiot.
He did it three times. Pulls out a sword and whacks
off the high priest's ear. You ain't taking my Jesus, hey!
Whacks it off. Jesus takes the ear, puts it
back, said hey now. You don't have to be an all-star here.
We're not here to try to fight. We're not doing this. You live
by the sword, you die by the sword. It wasn't a, that's not
a theology not to actually fight. He told him to buy some swords
because there's some thieves and robbers and some crazy stuff
going on. He said, oh, we got a couple of swords a mix. The
12 of us, that's enough. We don't all need to be packing.
All right, just chill out. We got enough swords. Peter can
probably have one in each hand and like five people just whacking
the ears all day long. ear, nose, and throat, doctor.
Here we go. No, he puts it back on. He says, this isn't it. The
way to freedom is that I die. So this is the path to the cross.
The leadership goes to Calvary. I'm leading you to life. I'm
leading you to freedom. Think about that. I'm leading
you to life. I'm leading you to freedom by
being arrested and dying. You see why it's so absolutely
insane to think about this? And then they mocked him. But Peter did not root his leadership
in his own credibility. He lost that. When Jesus said
to him, do you love me? You know I do. Peter, do you
love me? Lord, you know I love you. Peter,
I'm gonna ask you, do you love me? Yes, I love you, Lord. Then feed my sheep. Just feed
my sheep. It ain't about you, Peter. It's
about the meal that you're giving. Just feed my sheep. Remember
John 6? And he fed 5,000 men plus their
families with just a little tiny lunch. And there was so much
left over that each disciple took a whole basket. And the
very next day, these people, God blew boats over there so
they could all come to Capernaum. And these people go over there
to find him. Oh, where did you go, great teacher? Oh, goodness,
we've been looking for you all night. He said, you're looking
for me because you're hungry. I ain't nothing but a, I'm nothing
but a, you know, a deli for you. Quit laboring for that food that
perishes and labor for the bread that endures to eternal life.
Oh yeah, give us the permanent food we'll never have to eat
again, like the woman at the well, right? And what does he
say? I am the bread that came down
from heaven to give life to all men. Huh? Yeah, eat of my flesh and drink
of my blood Ta-da, you live. It's not normal. That's not leadership. And then
when he died, everybody left but John. Peter roots his leadership in
what he has seen of Christ's suffering. This is not abstract
theology. I want you to feel this for a
minute. Peter watched Jesus give himself away. He watched Jesus lay down his
life. He watched this God-man walk
into the fire. So Jesus' leadership was incarnational. He emptied himself. He came from
glory, and he emptied himself, and he created a body for himself,
and the womb that he created In the woman beloved, Mary, whom
he created, to come into the world that he created to his
own, who would not recognize him, who would not receive him,
John 1. But to all who did receive him, that is those who believed
in his name, he gave the right to become the children of God
by the will of the Father. Not because of who they were,
not because of their family status, not because of their relationships,
not because of their will nor their desire, but by the will
of the Father. So true leadership must bear
the scars of Christ, not just the symbols of office. That's
why I thank God every day for my suffering. Because it took
James Tippins laying in the bed almost four months thinking he
was going to die, wanting to, to actually have the time off
in the world to see. And it goes from blaming everyone
else to seeing the purpose in all of it. And I know some of you are victims
and I hate that. We're all victims. But we suffer as if we're not. Because being a victim is not
an identity. I survived is not an identity.
It's a chain. When you feel the weight of the
chains lifted and you're thinking, well, I remember when these chains
used to be there, the greatest thing is to recognize that you
no longer need to think about them. How does that work? You got to
suffer. Christ emptied himself by taking
the form of a slave, humbled himself by coming obedient to
the point of death. So a leader in the church who
has not encountered Christ's suffering cannot shepherd other
people through it. There is no such thing as knowledge
of suffering, only the wisdom of it. We have a lot of knowledge about
a lot of stuff. We have very little wisdom because in order
to have wisdom, you have to go through the fire. And some of the biggest mistakes
I ever made was listening. and then answering people in
their need for wisdom when I had none. Because I read a lot, and
I talk a lot, and I listen a lot, and I glean a lot, but it doesn't
mean I know what I'm talking about. Shepherding people is not giving
them the answer. Shepherding people is going before
them in the fire and showing them the scars and showing them
the burns and showing them surviving is not what you did, but you
lived. You were purified. You became stronger. Because if we haven't encountered
the sufferings of Christ, we cannot shepherd others through
it. Humility is not an accessory
to the toolkit of leadership. It is the essence of it. It's the essence of it. And it
says, shepherd the flock that is among you. That word there for shepherd
encompasses the full care. Feed, guide, guard, nurture. One of my most read essays, one
of my most read essays is Assumption of Sin. It was a rant that I
wrote, and I was really mad. I've revised it, but I did not
change it. I just put some explanations at the top. And then one of my
top 10 is what should pastors really be doing? And I thank God for understanding
this early on, but I did not really embody it until I'd gone
through greater fires. feeding, and guiding, and guarding,
and nurturing. It's not management. It's embodied
care. Because everybody in the church
throughout history has an idea of what they think they need
to be shepherded and how it's supposed to be done. But the
Bible teaches us to do it within the context of our gifts. And
if what you want from me is what you think you need from me, but
I don't have it to give and I give it anyway, guess what? You're
getting fake ministry. Now think about that. How many
years I chaplainized myself, and I hate it. I'm never doing
it again. I will not do that work. I'm
not a chaplain. I don't have the heart for it.
I can't. But I did it. For 20 years, I
did it. And I went home empty, and I
went home hurt, and I hurt my family. Because I wasn't present, because
I was empty. I'm like, God, I'm not a good shepherd. I can't
chaplain. And now I don't have to. But somebody can. Some of you have that heart.
So that's what we're here for. And that's one of our roles as
overseers. Like, where's the chaplains in the audience? Is
there a doctor in the house? You see? Hey, we got something
happening. Why do we all feel like we have
to have everything? Because we listen to the opinions
of others rather than seeing who we really are in the face
of Christ. And this is a call to shepherd,
not control. And so what happens when we manage
and when we operate outside of our gifts and leadership of any
kind, especially in the church, we're literally trying to control
something. We're trying to control people's thoughts. We're trying
to control people's viewpoints. We're trying to control people's
view of us. We're trying to control the tension. We're trying to
control the tension because we think if the tension is not there,
then peace is there. That's not peace. That's not
real. The very definition of peace
is a resting resolve in the context of tension. It's not the absence
of tension. That's why it's everlasting.
The absence of tension is dead. That's the absence of tension. Peace is a complete presence.
And it's a state that we live in once we come to these conclusions,
once we walk in this way. But shepherding, pastors are
not allowed to control people. And some of us would say, oh,
we don't control anybody. Yeah, we don't know we're controlling
other people. Jesus says, I am the good shepherd.
And you know that because I lay down my life I've had that verse thrown on
my face. We ought to lay down your life. If you can't afford
to do this, you ought to sell your house, get a smaller house.
I've had people tell me that to my face, standing on my front
porch. Yet my mortgage is about the
price of a good single wide in 1990. Taxes are more. Insurance is
high. My mortgage is $637 a month,
principal and interest. How do you like them apples?
You can't buy a truck for that. I don't need to downsize, you
goober. And if I did, that's none of
your business, you see. Why are they living in a half
million dollar house? Well, you need to lay down your
life for the sheep. What does that even mean? Jesus did that.
It's the mindset. It's not a call to do the same.
This is the mindset of what it means to shepherd, not control.
And part of that means that as elders, we have to take the brunt
of the accusations that we're not good people because we're
not giving everybody what they think they need from us. I don't want to brush my teeth.
Well, then have stink breath. Don't grab them by the mouth.
I mean, you know, Don't blast them with the water pick in their
eyes until they open their mouth. Don't pull all their teeth out.
Just go, well, how's stank breath? Hey, by the way, your breath
stinks so bad, you can't sit with me on the couch. It makes
me, you know, can't do it. I mean, there's consequences
for what people don't do. Let them suffer the consequences.
That's another thing. Control says, I don't want them
to suffer the consequences. That's management. care, I'll
be here when they set themselves on fire. I'll be here when the house falls
down. I'll be here when they go hungry. I'll be here when the relationship
is in shambles. I'll be here when they're depressed.
And then we'll face it then. Leadership is not circumventing,
in the church, circumventing the consequences. Let it come. And I can't speak to the ladies
in the room, but I can speak to the men in the room, especially
husbands and fathers. Let the pain come. Do not let your mind tell you
you have to save your family from consequences. It is ungodly. if God himself did not spare
his own son? Why? Doesn't mean we don't say,
hey, bro, you keep walking that path, man, where do you think
it's gonna lead you? Don't lecture, don't tell them,
you don't know, you're not God, but where do you think that's
gonna lead you? Is that what you want? I'll be here when you
get back. One of my biggest mistakes. It's
trying to help my family not feel the pressure. What's that look like? Didn't
tell them what was going on with me. Didn't tell them what was
going on with others. Didn't tell them what was going
on with X. Didn't tell them what was going on with Y. I just kept it to
myself. I got this. I'll get this. It'll work out.
It'll be fine. And guess what? It doesn't. And when they're
used to that, and all of a sudden everything falls apart, then
what happens? Why didn't you fix this? Why did this happen?
Oh, it's been happening for 30 years. You just never saw it. I've been juggling plates like
a clown. That's why I almost said clown a minute ago. I mean,
you know, you can't do it. Wives, mothers, you are not the
emotional regulators of your family. Let them whine, let them
cry, let them weep, let them go into depression. You certainly
aren't the emotional regulator of your husband. If he pouts,
do not ever give him anything he pouts for. Let him pout, trip
over his lip, whine like the little teeny tiny baby child
that he is on the inside. Let him cry. And then he'll get mad. And then
he'll love bomb you. Let him. Oh, please. Tell him how unattractive that
is. It's disgusting. Yeah, men, we're little boys
and all we want is a balloon. And to be told we're cute and
pat it on the back and say, good job. Wives, that's not your job. Let the man feel the weight of
his lack of masculine core. Quit giving him a muscle suit
and let him try to pick the gallons up by himself. Leadership does not control. And yes, wives, you are to lead
your husbands. Yes, husbands, you are to submit
to your wives. I've already preached that some
months ago. And it's not under compulsion.
Well, leadership is not about shaping people into our image
or our way or the path that we want. That's what I'm getting
to. It's about walking with them toward resonance with Christ's
image through love, truth, and honesty. Fourth, not under compulsion,
but willingly. exercising oversight as God would
have you. I think you got it out of order,
but leadership in the church is not a career move. It never fit for me. I'm not
a career type person, but yet that was the only model that
was ever given me. It's just awful. It's awful. It's not a role forced by pressure
or guilt. God has never guilted a man into
the calling of leadership. He's never called somebody, made
them feel bad about their decisions. So now I want you to go into
ministry. Ministry for most men is an escape
from responsibility. I'm gonna say that again. Ministry for most men is an escape
for responsibility. And I don't want to get into
this too much, but I will tell you now that the overarching
shackles of the patriarchy and its clenched talons into the
evangelical world that we live in has done a very good job of
embodying control and establishing a man who isn't willing to take
responsibility for himself or his family or the world around
him because he's called of God. What's that look like? I don't
know. You tell me when you decide God's called you and I'll discern
it for you. A man is not worth paying what
he won't do for free. And if he's not doing it now,
don't ever give him a role. Because what you're not doing
today, you will never do. If God has called us to something,
we're doing it already. It's done. You're doing it. And
you may discover it in the process of walking in it. But God has
never called anybody who is making plans to go do something later
for God. Ever. Willingly. It's a voluntary offering
of one's life. According to the scripture, not
according to the culture, not according to the frameworks of
ministerial alignment. Not according to denominational
expectations, not according to the culture, not according to
the dag blasted man's own ideals. We respond to a call. We're not performing a task.
Willingness is about alignment. And so we lead by resonance with
Christ. Not resonance with our mentors,
not resonance with our leaders, not resonance with a group of
people. That's affinity. And it's waning and it goes away.
There's a lot of stuff that I used to do. 2025 is going to be a year of lead
wasting. I'm about ready to go. I haven't shot in a long time. Probably twice in three years.
Those things have seasons. The calling of God doesn't. You're not off and on and off
and on. You may feel it. And the best thing you could
do to test it is just to quit. Just quit. And then sometimes
we find that what we quit is not what we were called to, but
we're called to a better thing. And it's still the call. Somebody said to me a year or
two ago, it's okay if you're not a pastor. And I almost died to think about
that. But I begin to embody that. I
realize, you know what? I don't want to be that. I don't
want to be what I've been. I don't want to be pastor if
this is what it is. So I just decided to be me, and
I'm still pastoring. But I don't have to fill that
role that everybody else pushed on me. I think it's sort of gross. The way pastor looks, nobody
likes it. Nobody feels really attuned to
the authenticity of pastors. They either aspire to be as great
as they are or they know a little bit too much about them and they
think they're fake. Let's just be real. willingly, not for shameful gain,
but eagerly. Oh, I hate to use this word,
but the idea of toxic. I think most ministry settings
are toxic. I think most leadership in the
church is toxic, by and large. I think Grace Truth Church When
I started here and in the years up until probably 2020, I think
we existed in a sense of toxicity. And I take responsibility for
that, 100% of what was mine to bear. And that's why we drew toxic. Another question was asked, what
caused all these types of things to just attract like moth to
a flame? I don't know. I promise you this though, you
got chicken houses, you're gonna have flies. Because of what's
in it. Not because the house is there.
If the house has never been used, there ain't no flies. It's when
it's full of chicken litter that the flies come. Not for shameful gain, but eagerly.
Leadership becomes toxic when it's leveraged for approval,
for power, for validation. Oh, God is merciful. Because
you don't know that you're seeking validation
until you know. There is no ulterior motive in
true spiritual leadership, guys. And that's why authentic living
must be the core of it. Humility must be the core of
it. You can't posture humility. Because if you posture humility,
you get broken. You must be humility. And I know
everybody always thinks about shameful gain being money, but
it's not. It's not about money at all. I shepherded for shameful
gain and never had any money. It's not about filthy lucre.
Sometimes it's the gain of reputation. Sometimes it's the gain of being
seen good, as a good person, as someone who has a purpose. Sometimes it's about maintaining
some sense of control over areas of life that you have none. Not
maniacally, but in a good way, in a good will. Sometimes it's
about ego. But a Christ-formed leader desires nothing from anyone
else. That's why it's so easy for preachers
to stand up and talk trash and talk about how they, nobody wants
to come to Bible study? What's wrong with your, what's
wrong with your hearts? What's wrong with our hearts
is we're tired of you yelling at us. Makes us jumpy. Well, I know a good Christian
to be here every day and the doors is open. What's a good Christian? Well, the doors might be open
here, but are they open in the world? Are our hearts open? Are
our lives open? Because I believe the assembly,
I believe what happens here on Sunday morning is the greatest
means of grace that God has given us collectively as a family. But I believe that it is the
beautiful benefit, it is the outcome of a life lived in the
world with our lives open to others. And there's nothing that I want
from any of you except one thing, your freedom. And now I realize
I can't make it happen. I can't make you free. irony behind that, all you ever
want is people to be free and you aren't free yourself. A true leader expects nothing
from anyone. I have a good friend that I work
with in some of the coaching that I'm doing and he said that Expectations are premeditated
resentment. I love that. It's beautiful. And it's absolutely
true. What does God expect of us? Well,
I mean, we can see. And in his omnipotence and omniscience
and everything, I mean, he knows. But what did he expect of us
to get his work done? Nothing. And because we aren't God, we
really should have no expectation. There is nothing I expect of
you from this teaching except that God in His mercy calls it
to take root in your heart. So I expect much from God. And
I can hold him to that because he cannot fail. Remember, that
was a couple of weeks ago? God is on trial. I think that's
what I'm trying to name the sermons, but I can't remember which ones
they are. Week 63, 1 Peter chapter 3, verse 1, part A. I mean, you
know, those aren't really good SEOs. But the expectation is that God
will do his work, and it doesn't matter what I see. Because 90,000
percent of everything that's going to happen inside of you
is going to be unseeable anyway. And then the fruit of that will
eventually come around in God's timing. In God's timing. And until that happens, let us
rest and just be patient. And finally, well, there's more,
but not domineering. but be exemplary. What does the
word exemplary mean? To do so as an example. As the
example. The examples of the flock. Peter
speaks directly against manipulative authoritarian models of leadership.
It's not about forcing through guilt, shame, coercion. Well,
this sounds terrible. Have you ever been that way?
Yeah, I didn't know it. There's always a quick Some of my good
friends and one of my coaches was very quick to show me last
year how I use wit as a weapon. It's sharp. Very sharp. And it comes so easy I thought
it was comedic. But it slices. And I actually like it. I like
that part about me. I show it more than I do, than
I've ever done in my life in public. but it's manipulative. The inquiry, the Socratic ideology
that I've always lived under, asking questions. I combined
that Socratic ideology and philosophy with wit as a weapon, and buddy,
I created a nuclear bomb. I used to have the joke that
I could make the devil cry, and it's not a joke, it's actually
true. So no wonder people feel like
they can't approach me, but at the inside of me, I'm like, man,
I'm the most approachable guy in the world. Why? Because I
have no judgment. But I will make you feel bad
and don't even know that I'm doing it. I mean, such is the
way of an idiot. You see? That crap stings. But I got a million of them,
they just come out. If the heart of man is a factory of idols,
mine is a factory of really snarky statements that make you feel
terrible about yourself. Imagine what that feels like
when I'm actually not being witty, but I'm actually angry. You think
that hasn't come across in my preaching? Absolutely it has. It's come across in my preaching,
in my counseling, in my guidance, in my love. It's garbage. And I share these things not
for pity. Do not pity me. Please, God,
help. Do not pity me. There is nothing
to be pitied here. Nothing at all. Autonomy does not come for
free. You have to pay the piper, and
the piper shows you the mirror, and the mirror unfortunately
does not break. It does not break. To lead is
to be someone others can see and follow, not fear and obey. I don't fear. You don't want
to disappoint me. I just don't want to upset James. I don't
want to upset the pastor. I don't want to upset my sister, brother,
so-and-so, husband, wife, kids. I just don't want anybody to
think I'm not a good person. I'm just going to do this. I'm just
not going to say anything. I'm just going to hide. I'm just going to posture.
That's manipulation. What does Christ model? Christ's
model, he did not control his disciples. He served them. He
washed their feet. He led with truth and tenderness. He rebuked
them when he needed to, but he did so in the context of the
truth, and he went right back in. I mean, when does it say
that when we have to correct other people that we have to
now have this fog around us, this tension, this constant,
oh? It doesn't. And what's the attitude? We're
awaiting the chief shepherd. And when the chief shepherd appears,
you will receive the unfading crown of glory. See, Peter then
lifts our eyes, he gets it off of here, and he talks about leadership
is not the reward. The crown belongs to Christ.
And the joy of the faithful leader is to hear him say, well done. Well done. Yeah, that's how I
feel, Lord. Burnt to a crisp, well done.
You see, I'm even gonna be witty with Jesus, he's gonna be like,
Son, have you learned nothing? Are you nothing, Lord? I've learned
you. Well done, my good and faithful
servant. Be faithful unto death and I
will give you the crown of life. See, this is true motivation.
It's not about numbers. It's not about applause. It's
not about admiration. It's not about whether or not
you like what I'm saying, or you like what Trey's saying, or it
resonates with you, or it doesn't resonate with you, or it's giving
you what you think you need or what you want, or how it's even
living into your life or speaking into your life. It doesn't matter.
It's just faithfulness. That's what it's all about. It's
not applause. It's not admiration. It's the
appearing of Jesus Christ, the true shepherd, the one whose
life we reflect. So to summarize all this, Long-windedness,
leadership is an invitation, not a burden. It is shaped by
the cross, not a strategy. It is about nurturing others
toward Christ, not controlling them, and it flows from humility,
not hierarchy. So how do we do this? As an elder,
how am I supposed to look at this? I'm supposed to reflect
on my motives every single day, not worry of them, not be cautious
of them, but reflect. Why did I do that? Why did I
say that? What's behind it? What's driving me? What voice
is that? The voice of granddad? Is that the voice of pastor so
and so? Is that the voice of the book
I read? Is that the voice of just me and my dumb little self? Or is it the voice of Christ? Or the elders? Elders, are you
leading eagerly and honestly? Or out of pressure or fear? And I pursue resonance, not reputation. Oh God, I've written 31 pages
on resonance this week. I think it's what life's all
about. I think it's what the whole context of being spiritual
really is, is that we resonate with each other. Sometimes we
have joy that is inexpressible. It's resonance. It just is. It sits and we rest. Not reputation. I don't care
about reputation. We want to really Be such people
that people around us feel and imitate. They mirror us. Not do what we want. That's integrity. When you can see that the amplification
of your life, the resonance that comes from it, people just begin
to, and what do I want more than anything? I want you to be free
in Christ. That's what I hope I resonate. Don't model your righteousness
after me, model it after Jesus. But if you wanna so walk in a
path of freedom, here we go. Lead with your life, James, Trey. Lead with your life. Be present,
not performative. Speak with truth and embody love
in every sense, and then you measure success by faithfulness,
I've already said it, not results. Faithfulness in Jesus Christ.
Christ is the greatest human being that ever faced the earth.
And the irony is that he created it. But yet he's the most bemoaned
and hated figure in history. Why? Because the image of Christ
picture of who he is and what he stands for, not what culture
has made him, not what Christian culture has made him, but what
he truly stands for attacks the very center of other people's
identity when they find themselves discombobulated in the context
of the life that is pursuing everything but truth. And I'm
talking specifically about people who claim to be in Christ. But we learned that we lead in
this way and we lead in everything. So whether you're an elder or
whether you're a parent, whether you're a spouse, whether you're
a boss, whether you're an employee, whether you're the lowest person
on the smallest totem pole under the earth, you are leading others. The question is, where are you
taking them? What are you showing? What do they see? And if you
don't know who you are and what you are and you can't see yourself,
you can never show anyone else the truth. So my heart for you is that you
understand the embodiment and we're going to go the rest of
this chapter is about leadership and about humility and then the
elders and the church and then everything else. And it's the
whole point of the very beginning. To you in the dispersion the
beloved of God, the blessed. Know who you are. And live that
way. And watch the world around you
come to you because of the light that you are. Let's pray. We thank you, Father,
for the day, this beautiful, amazing, best day of my life. Father, I have so much to be
thankful for personally. I have so much to be thankful
for, so many precious realities, so many precious epiphanies,
so many incredible truths that I rest in. So we could all be here for the
rest of our lives just thanking you, Father, together in the
sense of what we have become in Christ. and the freedom that
we have, Lord, but I thank you, Lord. I thank you, Father, that
you do use us to change others, but we are not the change you
are. And whether they know you or
not, Lord, you are drawing people to the truth. So help us to speak
boldly, but love gently. To lead by the example of Christ
who gave himself up. Father, help to keep us full
so that our cup is never depleted, so that when we are engaging
the world and when we are leading and when we are serving and when
we are loving, we are not emptying. For Christ, though he emptied
himself into his leadership, he was never lacking. He was
never empty. He was never, ever below the
full line in his cup, even as he drank the cup of wrath. Even as he was poured out, he
was always full. He gave his body, he gave his
blood so that we might live. He died for our living. He was
arrested for our freedom. So help us to live and to embrace
and to embody that freedom this very day. And we thank you for
this in Christ's name. Amen.