A stubborn and rebellious son

Q: What does the Bible say about a stubborn and rebellious son?

The Bible addresses the issue of a stubborn and rebellious son in Deuteronomy 21:18-21, emphasizing the consequences of disobedience and rebellion against parental authority. In Deuteronomy 21:18-21, the Scriptures prescribe a drastic measure for dealing with a stubborn and rebellious son, suggesting that if he does not obey his parents despite being corrected, he could face execution. This law served a dual purpose: it was meant to remove evil from Israel and to deter others from similar rebellion. The text acknowledges that even good parents can have rebellious children, which reflects the fallen nature of humanity. The focus is on the seriousness with which God views disobedience and rebellion, and the emphasis on parental responsibility to teach and correct their children.

Q: Why is parental correction important for children?

Parental correction is important as it reflects love and the desire for a child to learn right from wrong, as noted in Proverbs 13:24. The importance of parental correction is underscored in Proverbs 13:24 where it states that to spare the rod is to hate one's son, while he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Correction is vital because it guides children towards understanding boundaries and maintaining moral character, helping to drive foolishness from their hearts. The act of discipline, while difficult, is necessary for fostering a sense of security and teaching respect for authority, both within the family and subsequently toward God. Hebrews 12:6 further reinforces this by stating that the Lord disciplines those He loves, highlighting that correction is a part of the loving relationship between a parent and child.

Q: How should parents respond to a rebellious child?

Parents should respond to a rebellious child with teaching, correction, and long-suffering, as demonstrated in Deuteronomy 21. When faced with a rebellious child, parents are encouraged to follow the biblical example of teaching their children diligently and correcting them when necessary. In Deuteronomy 21, the emphasis is on a process that includes initial teaching, followed by chastening as a form of correction, and lastly, a demonstration of enduring love and patience. Parents are not to lose hope or give up on their children but should continue to model Christian values and spiritual teachings, praying earnestly for their child's heart to soften. The combination of teaching and long-suffering reflects God's own approach to His wayward children, underlining the importance of perseverance in the face of rebellion.

Q: What does the Bible say about the consequences of disobedience to parents?

The Bible warns of severe consequences for disobeying parents in passages like Deuteronomy 27:16, indicating the seriousness of such actions. The Bible treats the disobedience of children toward parents with considerable gravity. In Deuteronomy 27:16, a curse is pronounced upon anyone who dishonors their father or mother, reflecting the belief that such behavior disrupts social order and familial harmony. This commandment underscores how seriously God values honor and respect within family structures. The church is responsible for upholding these principles as part of moral teaching; disobedience not only has earthly implications but also signifies a deeper rebellion against God's authority. The repercussions serve as a reminder of the significant responsibilities placed on both children to respect their parents and parents to lead their children rightly.

Deuteronomy chapter 21, and let's
begin reading in verse 18. I promise you, I won't keep you
as long as I did this morning. Deuteronomy chapter 21, and let's
begin reading in verse 18. If a man have a stubborn and
rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father
or the voice of his mother, And that when they have chastened
him will not hearken unto them. Then shall his father and his
mother lay hold on him, and bring him unto the elders of his city,
and unto the gate of his place. And they shall say unto the elders
of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious. He will
not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall
stone him with stones, that he die. So shall thou put evil from
among you, and all Israel shall hear and fear a stubborn and
rebellious son." Shannon was just telling me back in the dining
room that Remy was real sick yesterday. And he said he was
praying and calling on the Lord. They have mercy upon him. That's good, ain't it? That young man has a tender conscience.
He's aware of the Lord's chastening hand, and he's learning from
it. I think the Lord's done a work
of grace and is doing a work of grace in his heart. I want
to look at a different situation here with this young man, a stubborn
and rebellious son. These were good parents. You
know, sometimes good parents have wicked children. Noah, remember
Noah, a preacher of righteousness. He had a son by the name of Ham,
probably a homosexual. Saw his father's nakedness and
made light of it. Wicked man. Holy Samuel, the
prophet, he had two sons. And they walk not in the ways
of Samuel, their father. The scripture says that they
took bribes and perverted judgment, corrupted society. David, the sweet son of Israel,
had an absalom, tried to overthrow his kingdom, slept with David's
concubines. Sometimes good parents have bad
children. And sometimes bad men Bad parents
have good children. Ammon was a king of Judah. Very, very wicked man. The scripture
says he did that which was evil in the sight of the Lord. They killed him. They killed
him. He's a wicked man. Had a son by the name of Josiah. Some of you remember him. He
began to reign when his dad had died. He was eight. years old
when he began to reign. And the Scripture said there
was no king like him before him that sought the Lord with all
his heart, all his might, and all his strength. And there was
no king like him after him, forsaking the Lord. His dad was a wicked
man. There was a king by the name
of Ahaz. If you read the Scripture and
you hear about Ahaz, you'll remember that name. He is a wicked man,
too. A very wicked man. They killed
him too. The Lord removes his hand and
they kill you. He had a son by the name of Hezekiah. Remember him? The armies of Assyria
came against him and he prayed to the Lord. And the Lord heard
his prayer. And he sent his angel and killed
185,000 of those Assyrians. This man got sick and he prayed
to the Lord that the Lord would heal him. And the Lord said,
I'm going to heal you. He said, would you give me a
sign? He said, what do you want? Do you want the clock to go forward?
He said, no, I want it to go backwards. And the sign went
backwards. That was this man. Had a wicked
dad. There have been children raised
by the same parents. Trained up the same way. taught
the same way. One of the children turned out
to be an asset to society, turned out to be a moral, respectable
person, and another one of them turned out to be a drain on society,
a wicked person. One thing we know about children,
and the Bible tells us this, foolishness is bound in the heart
of the child. Some more than others. Some to
a greater degree than others. And in general, the rod of correction
will drive that foolishness far from the child. But in general,
that's not always true, is it? There are some exceptions, and
the Bible allows for that, and that's what our text is talking
about. These were good parents. There's no doubt in our minds,
and this is one of the things sometimes that frustrates us
today. The Lord is able to conquer the most rebellious child. He can subdue them if He's pleased. But He doesn't always do that,
does He? He hasn't done it in the past, and He probably won't
do it in the future. After we've prayed, after we've
cried, after we've sought Him, Lord, would You subdue my children?
Still, sometimes He's not pleased to do that. You can get frustrated
about that. You can get angry about that,
I doubt it will do much good. He's able, but he doesn't always
do it. There's a wide range of personality
in children. I've noticed that and you've
noticed that. Some children have a nature that they're so submissive,
you'd never whip that child with a belt. All you do is speak to
that child and it breaks their heart. And you have others that
are of such an attitude that you're always having to chasten
them. You're always having to raise
your voice. You're always having to guard and guide them, because
if you don't, they're going to get in all kinds of trouble.
There's a wide range of personality in children. There's some of them, they won't
listen to a thing you say. You try to teach them. And even
when they see tears in your eyes, and they know that they're breaking
your heart, and even in the threat of death that was in our text,
you know something? They don't care. They don't care. Some children grew up in society,
and they live in society, and they're good neighbors. They're
respectable. You thank God for them. And he
has a brother or sister that grows up with him that corrupts
society. It's not fit to live in a decent
society. You and I hear a lot today about
the part that genes play in a child's personality. I have no doubt
that that's probably true. It plays a part probably in addictions. There are some young people that
can take a drink, and they're alcoholics. They can take some
pain medication or something, and they're dopeheads. There
are some strange things that take place in our society. I
know that. I don't know anything about genes,
but there's no doubt that sometimes these things play a part in the
young man or woman's personality. I don't know anything about that,
but I do know something about this. And I think this is the
crutch of the matter. When the Lord looked our first
parents in the face, and he said, the day that you eat thereof,
you shall surely die, you and I are still learning the heartbreak
and the horror of what that sentence meant. We see it in our world. We see it in our nation, we see
it in our communities, we see it in our homes, and we see it
in our own hearts, what it means to die, what it means to be dead
in trespasses and sins, the death that sin brought. In our text,
there's no doubt here that this mom and dad were good parents,
not perfect parents. There is no such people. But
they were good parents. Look at these two things. First
one is this in our text. We know they were good parents
because we're told here that they taught this child. Did you
notice that in our text? He will not obey the voice of
his father and the voice of his mother. He was a young man that
his parents didn't leave him to themselves to make his own
way. A son left to himself, the scripture says, brings his mother
to shame. And there was no conflict here
between the mother and the dad. They were both on the same page.
The dad had taught him. He wouldn't listen to the dad.
The mother had came and taught him the very same thing, and
he wouldn't listen to her. So often in the home, there's
a conflict between the mother and the dad. The dad may teach
the child the right way, and the mother will come along and
undermine the dad. But it wasn't so in this case
here. The father taught him, and the
mother taught him. They set him down when he was
young and said, son, here is the right way to go. Son, the
Lord, He is God. He is the only Redeemer and only
Judge. We must come before Him someday.
You must live for His glory. You must seek Him, avoid the
evil and seek the good. They taught Him and brought Him
up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. That's the first
thing about these parents. They were good parents. They
were good parents. Secondly, we know they were good
parents for this reason. Notice the next step they took
when the child refused instructions. They said there that we have
chastened him. We have chastened him. We taught
him. He wouldn't listen to us. So
we took the next step. We chastened him. Why would they
chasten him? They loved him. They loved him. Sometimes, I'll be honest, boy,
you're tempted just to throw up your hands and say, why bother?
You have drained me of my strength. You have stolen my comfort. You
have upset the home. I'm just going to throw up my
hands and I'm going to leave you to yourself, whatever you're
going to do. Go ahead and do it. I don't care anymore. That's
a big temptation to say that. But boy, they did. These were
good parents. They chastened him because they
loved him. Listen to this passage in Proverbs
13, 24. He that spareth his rod, hateth
his side. But he that chastens him, he
that loveth him, chastens him betimes, when it's needed, as
often as it's needed. Why will he take time to correct
his child? Because he loves him. Whom the
Lord loveth, he chasteneth, and he scourges every son whom he
receiveth. Why? Because he loves him. If
you're not partakers of chastening, then you're not a son. Good parents use the Lord God
for their example. They have a good example in the
heavenly Father, for the scripture said, what son is he whom the
Father chastened not. They were good parents. They
had a son, they taught him, and when he refused to listen, when
he wouldn't obey, they took the next step. They chastened him. Something else about these parents
also. Something else these parents
did. They lived in the hope that their teaching and chastening
would eventually direct their son in the right way. They lived in hope. Yes, he's
disobedient to us. Yes, we're having to correct
him. Yes, we're having to chasten him. It's hard on us and it's
hard on him. But they lived in hope. This
is what he needs. This is the best for it. Listen
to what the scripture says in Proverbs 19, 18. Chasten thy
son while there is hope for him. Chasten him while there's hope.
If you wait until he's a teenager and you start trying to chasten
him, too late. Too late. Chasten him while there's
hope. Chasten him when he's little.
Chastening him when he's ready to pull the lamp cord and lamp
and table all over. Smack that little hand and say,
no, no, no. We don't do that. You'll get
hurt. If he reaches back, smack it again. If you don't smack
his little hand now, he'll be smacking you when he's a teenager.
Chastening him while there is hope. Correct his bad manners while
he's a little child. That's what they sought to do
with their child. They chastened him. We talk about chastening sometimes,
but we always think of a belt or a switch, don't we? I think
that's all my dear dad knew. He made me go cut the switch. I don't know if I ever told him
this or not, but I should have. There's different ways of chastening.
Won't you make me sit in a corner or make me write something 500
times? I will not do that. Why does
it always have to be a switch? But chastening is correction. Chastening is getting the child's
attention. It may be a timeout. It may be
sitting on the couch. It may be an apology to some
family member, but it gets the child's attention. It corrects
the wrong that they've done. That's what the rod means. It
doesn't always mean a board or a belt or a switch, but it's
a correction of that attitude that was wrong. Chasten thy son
while there is hope. And listen to this next line.
Let not your soul spare because of his Crying. Boy, we're familiar with that,
aren't we? I bet you when these parents went to Chaston, this
young boy, I bet you he started screaming and crying. As soon
as they reached for the belt, as soon as they told him, you've
got to go sit on the couch, boy, he threw a fit. I remember when
my dad used to get up, he'd take his belt off. And by the way,
my dad never took his belt off. But what he used to do, If I
pushed him that far, when he took his belt off, he used it.
And when he took his belt off, that's when I'd start my big
crying and yelling, oh, dad, don't whip me, don't whip me.
And man, the tears would start rolling. That didn't work for
my dad. You know what he did? He whipped
me till I stopped crying and I stopped screaming. You know
what happens if your kid is screaming at you while you're chasing him.
You know probably what's happening. It's not hurting him. When it
starts hurting, he'll stop screaming. My dad used to talk to me when
he whipped me. He'd talk to me. He'd hit me
one time with a belt or a switch. It wasn't that bad. I'm not talking
about how he beat me. He never did. Well, there's a
couple times There was a little blood on my legs when he got
there with the switch. But he used to talk to me. Then
he'd come around my backside with a belt, and oh, it stung.
And he'd say, now, son, do you know why I did this? Well, after
about the third or fourth whack, I started listening to him, and
I started answering him. Before, I was too busy crying
and screaming, trying to get him to quit. But then, yeah,
I know, Dad, why you did it. Boy, you're coming up. You going
to do that again, son? No, dad, I promise. I won't do
it no more. Why did you do it to start with? It was my fault.
Have I told you not? Yes, you've told me not to do
it. He did not spare for my souls, crying and screaming like He
was killing me. That's our problem sometimes,
isn't it? No chastening for the present seems to be joyous but
greedy. It's supposed to be greedy. It's supposed to humble the child. It's supposed to get his attention.
Have you ever chastened your little child, especially if you
had to do it in a crowd, and you didn't want to, but you had
to raise your voice, you had to get their attention, and it's
something that you had to handle in public, and you sat them down
on the bench, and if you noticed how they sat there with their
head down, they won't look up. They're ashamed. They're somewhat
humiliated. That's really what chastening
is supposed to do. When the Lord chastened Ephraim,
He said, You have chastised me. And I was chastised. And I bore
it in my body. And He said, I smote it on my
thigh. And I was ashamed. That's what
chastening does. It has a degree of humility in
it. You see, the child gets proud
and arrogant and will obey. Well, here comes the judgment.
And boy, it humbles the child. It's supposed to do that, brothers
and sisters. Afterwards, what does it do? Yields the peaceable fruits,
the peaceable fruits of righteousness. It brings the parent and the
child close together when the child is corrected. It makes
the child feel more secure in the home. It makes the child
feel like he's not running the show. Dad and Mom is. One of the ladies brought Brookie.
I don't know if it was her mother. I don't know if it was Stacey.
One of them had Brookie in her arms the other day and we started
up through here and boy, her face got twisted up. She didn't
want to be up here. She wanted to be back there.
And them tears started rolling. And I thought any time, boy,
she is going to scream. And she was ready to. She didn't
know her dad was standing right behind her. And as soon as whoever
was carrying her turned and handed her to Shane, her dad, I mean
to tell you the wrinkles came out of that face. That face was
all twisted up, it straightened up, the tears dried up. Why? She knew who had her. And you know what? She seemed
so happy. She seemed so satisfied. A child left to themselves. That
the parents don't love them and don't correct them. They're miserable
children, aren't they? Look at the teenagers in our
society, and they're absolutely miserable because the parents
don't love them. And the parents don't love them
because they've not taken time to correct them. And they've
not taken time to correct them because it hurts me too bad. I've got a son. Poor thing. Bless
his heart. He didn't learn it from me and
his mother. But any time he has to correct one of his daughters,
it just kills him. He tries to correct them, then
turns right back around and he takes them down to Wal-Mart and
buys them a toy. All of it's useless, isn't it? And they're
miserable because of it. No chastening for the present
seems to be joyous, but it's grievous. But afterwards, it
yields the peaceable, Fruits of righteousness. Go into a hole. Go into a hole where children
have been chastened, where they've been taught. And usually, usually,
there's peace. There's peace with that child
because they've been chastened. Notice something else about these
parents. Not only did they teach Him, not only did they chasten
Him, But in verse 20 tells us something about their long-suffering.
These were good parents. Long-suffering. He said here
in verse 20, And they said unto the elders of the city, This
our son is stubborn, he is rebellious, he will not obey our voice, he
is a glutton and a drunkard. This boy had established a pattern,
hadn't he? A lifestyle. It wasn't these
parents jumped up after he had committed one offense and said,
boy, we're tired of you. We're going to, you know, it's
time you be stoned to death. No, this was a pattern. They
were so long suffering. They were so patient with this
young man. They started by teaching him
and then they had the chastening. And then they had to bear with
him because he was such a rebel, he wouldn't hear what they were
teaching, he wouldn't submit to the chaplain, but he went
in the other direction. He began to drink until finally
he was a drunkard. He began to overeat until finally
he was a glutton. And how long they put up with
that, I don't know. But night after night, he was
in their prayer. Day after day. Tears was upon
mom and dad's face because of this son. Long suffering, waiting,
waiting for him to take heed to their teaching and their correction. But no, no. See, there's some
people, there are some people, there are some children, will
not receive correction. After everything you've done,
they will not be corrected. There's nothing you can do about
it. I say this with sorrow in my
heart that there's been times in my young life that I looked
at some parents and I condemned them in my thoughts because they
had a unruly son or an unruly daughter. And I thought, why
don't you take control of him? But brothers and sisters, sometimes
there's no control in young adults. And that's the case here. What did they do? Verse 21, And all the men of this city
shall stone him with stones, that he die. Can you imagine a young man pushing
his parents to this extreme? Can you imagine that? This was
a young man. He wasn't a seven or eight year
old. Boy, he was a young man, now still living at home, probably
in teenage years, 18 or 19, but he was a young man. He knew,
he knew what was coming. He had heard of this before.
And yet he was such a rebel and so stubborn. He wouldn't even
turn in the face of the threat of being stoned. Boy, I'm glad we don't do this
today, aren't you? This is another one of those laws that they had
among them that was very rigid and strict. Peter says it's a
yoke that neither we nor our fathers were able to bear. I'm
glad we don't do this today, but you know something? God will. God will. You're here this afternoon and
you're a young child. Let me encourage you to do this.
Take heed that you honor your father and mother. Take heed
that you respect your mom and your dad and listen to them,
because God is going to require that at your hands someday. Listen to Proverbs chapter 20
and verse 20. Whoso curseth his father or his
mother, His lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness. That's what God says. We don't
do it in our day. We take other measures. And sometimes
our measures are extreme. But I'm telling you, not as extreme
as God's measure. He takes seriously the children's
attitude towards the pilgrim. Listen to Deuteronomy 27, 16. Cursed be he that setteth light,
that treats with contempt his father and his mother. Cursed
be he that does this. And all the people shall say,
Amen. Listen to Proverbs 30, 17. The
eye that mocks his father And the eye that despises his mother
to obey her, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and
the young eagles shall eat it. Honor your father and mother,
that your days may be well upon the earth. There is a generation
that curses their father, and doeth not bless their mother."
Boy, we see a lot of that in our day, don't we? All over the place now, you hear
of the disrespect among teenagers. I think it's in New York City,
if I'm not mistaken. The school district in New York
City just had to change their policy. They were expelling so many junior
high and high school kids for cursing the teacher. that they
had to remove that policy and change it. Now you're not expelled
if you curse the teacher out anymore. Too many kids doing
it have been expelled too many. There is a generation that curses
their father and despises their mother. And brothers and sisters,
we're living in it. We're living in it. We're reaping
what we have sown in our society. And when children will not be
taught, when children will not be corrected, when children will
not be held accountable, it leads to a dangerous society. And that's
where we're at today. Why did they do this? And this
was drastic. This was drastic. Why did they
do it? It wasn't just because of this
young man's sins. It was a deterrent for other
children. Look at what he said in the last
portion of verse 21. So shall you put evil away from
among you. That's one. That's one. Evil has to be punished. And
number two, and all Israel shall hear and fear. Punishment is a deterrent, isn't
it? It is. They've adopted the policy
where my grandbabies go to school this year. If you say something
to another child or you do something to another child, then the school
bus driver, he tells you about it. School bus driver sent a
message to me one day that one of my grandchildren had called,
had told another little girl she stink. Well, you know what happened
to my little granddaughter? She was marched down to that young
girl's house and apologized. My wife and I were in the house
Friday night, got a knock on the door about 8 o'clock or so.
Here stood this young woman there, Shannon's friend, with her young
boy. He had pinched my granddaughter's
backside. And his mom made him come and
apologize, and he stood there with his trembling lips and apologized. And the Word is now getting around. If you say something to somebody,
or you hurt somebody, you're at least going to have to go
to their house and apologize, and the Word is getting around,
and it's starting to have some effect. I tell you, when we get in society
where we're so lax and there's no responsibility anymore, not
only will we suffer as a society, but I tell you this, and this
is the thing that will happen. You will see the Lord's hand
ceasing to work. Now just mark it down. Look at
our history of the revivals that we've had in England and here
in America. Every time that we've had a revival
in our country, one of the evidences of it is children being obedient
to their parents. It changes society. When the
Lord moves His hand back and few people are being saved, it
leads to rebellion in society. If children will not fear their
parents, they're not going to fear God. Children who won't
listen to their parents, they won't listen to God. You take
a parent that teaches a child those consequences to their action,
it just naturally translates towards heaven. If I've done
this to my parents, if I've done this to my fellow man, then heaven's
going to hold me accountable too. They've held me accountable,
and heaven's going to hold me accountable. It's a deterrent,
a deterrent for evil. Someday the Lord Jesus Christ
is coming. Bless His name, He's coming. And He is going to put evil away. He is going to put it away from
His people by changing these foul bodies. Never any sin anymore. No presence of sin. No sense
of sin. will have a glorious body like
unto His body, a glorious liberty free from sin, no more evil to
molest us. He's not only going to do
that. He's going to put evil in hell.
He's going to put evil where it will never be seen again,
never be known again. He's going to put it away. That's
what He's about. Put it in a way. He'll put it
away on the cross, or He'll put it away in a lake of fire. And then, He is going to create
a new heaven and a new earth. And there's going to be nothing
but righteousness. There's not going to be any rebellion.
There's not going to be any stubbornness. There's not going to be any heartbreak.
There's not going to be any family trials and tears. It's all going
to be wonderful. But until that day, brothers
and sisters, you and I have an awesome responsibility to those
who are under our care. And those who are under our care
have an awesome responsibility to obey, under God, to obey. May the Lord bless our few comments.

A stubborn and rebellious son

What does the Bible say about a stubborn and rebellious son?

Why is parental correction important for children?

How should parents respond to a rebellious child?

What does the Bible say about the consequences of disobedience to parents?

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A stubborn and rebellious son

What does the Bible say about a stubborn and rebellious son?

Why is parental correction important for children?

How should parents respond to a rebellious child?

What does the Bible say about the consequences of disobedience to parents?

Sermon Transcript

About Bruce Crabtree

Comments

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