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Chris Cunningham

Who is my Family?

Chris Cunningham January, 18 2026 Video & Audio
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Text: Matthew 12:46

The sermon titled "Who is my Family?" by Chris Cunningham explores the theological implications of spiritual family compared to earthly relationships, particularly through the lens of Jesus' teachings. The key arguments highlight Jesus' redefinition of family as those who do the will of God, contrasting the privileged status of earthly kinship with the imperative of spiritual kinship. Cunningham draws from Matthew 12:46-50, where Jesus articulates that His true family consists of those who hear and obey the Word of God. This teaching is positioned as a challenge to common religious beliefs that equate all humanity to the family of God, emphasizing that true belonging requires a spiritual connection. The practical significance lies in understanding that one's primary identity comes from being part of God's family, which surpasses earthly ties and has eternal implications.

Key Quotes

“Wherever God's word is spoken, he has some sheep there.”

“Earthly family is a great blessing. That's a great blessing. But the truest sense of the word family is our spiritual family in Christ.”

“Nothing more important in this world than the preaching and hearing of the gospel.”

“We are his family by choice.”

What does the Bible say about the family of God?

The Bible teaches that the true family of God consists of those who do the will of the Father.

The family of God is defined by spiritual relationships rather than earthly ones. In Matthew 12, Jesus illustrates this by stating that His true family consists of those who hear and do the word of God. This is a clear departure from the religious understanding that all who are physically related are part of God's family. In essence, Jesus emphasizes that spiritual kinship supersedes physical kinship, underlining that those who obey His teachings are His true brothers and sisters. As articulated in Hebrews 2:11, Jesus is not ashamed to call us His brethren, emphasizing a profound and eternal connection that transcends earthly relationships.

Matthew 12:50, Hebrews 2:11

How do we know that Christians are part of God's family?

Christians are part of God's family by doing the will of the Father and by faith in Christ.

The assurance that Christians are part of God's family is rooted in their obedience to God's will and their faith in Jesus Christ. In John 1:12, it is stated that those who receive Him are given the right to become children of God. This affirmation highlights that spiritual rebirth results in inclusion within God's family. Furthermore, believers are seen as brothers and sisters of Christ, marking their new identity. The New Testament consistently reinforces that our connection to God and one another is forged through faith, making the church a family bound by love and commitment to the teachings of Christ.

John 1:12, Matthew 12:50

Why is spiritual family important for Christians?

Spiritual family is essential for Christians as it provides support, love, and mutual encouragement in faith.

The significance of spiritual family lies in its ability to foster growth, support, and encouragement among believers. The church is described as the body of Christ, where each member plays a vital role. This collective unity fosters an environment for worship, mutual edification, and accountability. Hebrews 10:24-25 exhorts Christians to not neglect meeting together, as community is crucial for personal and spiritual development. Furthermore, the bonds formed within the church provide comfort and strength in trials, reflecting the love of Christ through fellowship and shared experiences in grace.

Hebrews 10:24-25, Ephesians 4:16

What is the relationship between earthly family and the family of God?

Earthly family relationships are important but subordinate to the spiritual family that is rooted in Christ.

While earthly family relationships are indeed blessings, they are not the ultimate definition of family in a Christian context. Jesus emphasized that allegiance to Him may sometimes necessitate conflicts within earthly family ties, as seen in Matthew 10:36, where He states that a man's foes may be those of his own household. This highlights the reality that spiritual bonds established through faith in Christ are eternal and more significant than any temporary earthly ties. The spiritual family, based on love for and obedience to God, endures beyond physical life and illustrates the transformative power of the Gospel in the lives of believers.

Matthew 10:36, Matthew 12:50

Sermon Transcript

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So we kind of skipped on purpose this last part of chapter 12 this morning And we'll take a look at that For a little while tonight Our lord has been speaking to the pharisees That he apparently enters into a house, as we are informed in another account of this, he enters into a house and begins to teach his disciples and his mother and brethren come apparently to the door and maybe whisper to somebody that she needs to talk, they need to talk with the Lord Jesus.

We saw his response and it's so, it's so outside of what religion teaches and what religion ever even addresses. I think they see this as rude and Something that they want to avoid, because I've never heard anybody in religion address this passage of scripture. This teaches important vital truth, as our Lord always did. He didn't go around making suggestions or, you know, tips, life hacks. He had the words of eternal life. And these are those.

This reminds us, first of all, that wherever God's word is spoken, he has some sheep there. It seems like in this whole chapter, and I think it is true in this whole chapter that the Lord addresses the Pharisees and he's opposed and he's given difficult questions to trip him up and things like that. And he rebukes them. in just about every passage in this, but here we have him teaching his disciples. And the Lord has disciples, I guess, just about everywhere. There's no way of knowing where all.

But when Paul was in Corinth, the Lord Jesus preached, and what Paul preached was what Christ preached. He preached in Corinth and he was greatly opposed in the synagogue there. He had the same trouble with the Pharisees that the Lord did. But the Lord spoke to him in Acts 18.9 in a vision. Paul was afraid to go to Corinth because he feared for his life. He feared that nothing good would come of it. But the Lord spake to Paul in the night by a vision. Be not afraid, but speak and hold not thy peace, for I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee, for I have much people in this city.

So it seems like this world is full of religious, Christ-hating, anti-Christ religion. But in so many places like College Grove, Tennessee, and Taylor, Arkansas, and small little out of the way places in this world, God has his sheep. And not only in a sort of apologetic way, sort of like, well, the Lord has a few sheep over here. He says, we're his family. We're his family. And those who have no interest in him are not his family. Religion could say we're all God's family all they want to, but that's not what the Lord said. That's why religion despises passages of scripture like this, because it's contrary to their teaching. We're all one big happy family, you know. We're all going by different roads, but we're all going to heaven, you know. Not so.

This city is godless. Every city is godless. But the Lord's family meets together in places that you'd never expect. And from these places, our Lord will call out other sheep that he has, which are not yet of these foals. And that's the business of this world. I think we forget that.

You know, we tend to get wrapped up in all of the the intricacies and responsibilities and complications of this world. God just has a world for one reason, and it ain't complicated. It's because He has sheep, He has a people, and He's declared very plainly in His Word that when He accomplishes His purpose of grace to its full fruition, and saves his last sheep, calls his last sheep home, carries them home on his shoulder, that he has no use for this world. Not the way it is. And so what use should we have for it?

Honestly, he gives us this world as a way to sustain ourselves, to work in this world, and to have commerce in this world. but he just has a world for his sheep. I think it would simplify things a lot for us if we understood that all the time. There's just one reason for this.

Paul said, now the Lord saves Pharisees too. He was condemning the Pharisees and often he spoke very harshly to the Pharisees. He said, you're of your father, the devil, and your father's works you will do. He told them, you're gonna die in your sins. He said, I go my way and you shall seek me and you shall die in your sins. And whither I go, you cannot come.

It's such a blessing to see the contrast between what our Lord told his disciples and what he told the Pharisees. I know I point this out every time, so y'all have it memorized. But he told the Pharisees where I'm going, you're not coming. He told his disciples where I go, you can't come now. but you will follow after."

We're going to go wherever He goes, and He's going to be wherever we are. Even when we haven't gone where He went, He's still with us. David said, if I make my bed in hell, Christ is there with me. Christ is there with me. We couldn't get away from him if we wanted to. And I don't know about you, but I no longer want to. I don't want to get away from him.

But he's not trying to turn goats into sheep now, but he'll save a Pharisee. He's got sheep among even the Pharisees. Paul was a Pharisee of the Pharisees, he said, and the Lord, look at how he saved him in spite of him. That's how he saved me too.

But as he was rebuking and humiliating and infuriating in every way that you can imagine and denouncing these reprobate religious leaders, he was not only condemning them, but he was teaching us. And we see in this passage tonight great, great spiritual teaching regarding our relationship with Christ, his relationship with us, and how not much else matters. Not much else matters.

When his earthly family came for whatever reason, interrupted him while he was teaching. He continued to teach and he taught everyone there what true family is. What a true relationship with him. If you're going to talk about his family, you're going to be talking about his sheep, or they're not his family.

And we don't know for sure why his earthly family weren't there listening to him. Some say they thought he was crazy. And I've heard Henry Mahan say that the reason they were there asking for him is they were going to talk to him about how you're losing it. Everybody hates you and they hate us because they hate you, and you need to straighten it up. I'm not sure exactly where that comes from, but they weren't sitting at his feet. They weren't there when he was teaching the gospel to his disciples. I don't know why.

But there's a few clear and important lessons in this brief passage.

Number one, there's nothing more important in this world than the preaching and hearing of the gospel, period. And we're gonna get that one of these days. I'm getting that. I'm starting to get that a little bit.

Think about how little time we spend finding out who God is and what he said and about his mercy, about his love, about his almighty power. We struggle and we connive and we worry and we stay awake at night when we have a Heavenly Father who is Almighty. I'll never forget, I forget a lot of the exact language, but when Abraham had hit rock bottom, God spoke to him and introduced himself this way, I am God Almighty. Whatever you're worried about, it's not worth worrying about. I'm God Almighty. Whatever keeps you up at night, it's not worth the trouble. He's God Almighty.

We take very little time out of our lives to learn about that, to be comforted by who He is and what He's done for us. Here's our Lord sitting in a house, it says again in another account of this, teaching. And the messenger came and said, your family's out here. And the Lord said in effect, no, my family's in here. That's not complicated, is it? Where is his family tonight? And what does he, he refers to it as doing the will of his father. What were they doing? Sitting at his feet, hearing his word. That's what he said about Mary. It can't be taken away from her. She enjoys the riches of something that can never be robbed. She was sitting at his feet. And again, we don't know why Mary and his brothers were not there, but when the Son of God was speaking, they weren't there.

We know what the Lord said, and we know what the scriptures teach about this. You remember the one man where the Lord said, follow me, but he said, Lord, I've got to go bury my father. I've got to, my father's, you know, old. And once that, you know, everything is taking its course and I've got to take care of him until he dies. And then I've got to see to the arrangements and all that. And the Lord said, let the dead bury their dead. And that's not, That's not an excuse to be negligent of duties and responsibilities in this world. It just shows you what's really important. It shows you that when it comes down to a choice, there's no choice to make. There's no choice to make.

Earthly family is a great blessing. That's a great blessing. And the Lord is not being disrespectful to his mother here. And I'm getting ahead of myself, that's my next point, but he said, follow me, follow me. That can't be questioned. That's not to be picked apart. It's not to be rationalized away. When the Lord speaks to you and his word is clear about something, we've got all kinds of good excuses, but there is no good excuse. We just think they're good ones. There's nothing more important, just a few hours out of all of the hours of our life spent on this earth. And think about it this way too, not only just a few hours spent hearing him, hearing his word, and learning, and finding the peace that we need to face this ourselves, basically, because if it wasn't for our pitiful state, this world wouldn't be a problem to us. But it's because of our sin, so we can't blame it on the world.

But also just a few hours worshiping Him. I'm not sure that I or you or any of us fully understand that all we're going to do for eternity is worship Him. And that it's going to be so far superior to anything that we've ever done before that we're going to be in complete bliss and joy and excitement. It's going to be far beyond anything that excites us in this life, just to worship Him. And now it's a drudgery. What does that tell you about what we are, our condition? But God give us grace to treasure this. Look, I'm not preaching down to you on this one. I mean, I hope not, but I'll tell you this, I have dreaded, dreaded, dreaded, dreaded so many times having to go to church, you know, and I've been working all day, and I'm tired, and I can't concentrate. We love to make excuses. I wouldn't be able to concentrate, so I just won't go. Well, whose fault is that? What's important to you? If somebody in your family died and they left you $10 million, would you be able to go to the reading of the will and concentrate? If your best team, your favorite team of all time was playing, would you be able to concentrate on that after a hard day's work? We just don't get that excited about it. We gotta be honest with ourselves.

But this teaches us now, contrary to what our flesh teaches us, that there is nothing more important These that are sitting, hearing the word of God, that's my family, he said. Those are my loved ones. Those are my loved ones. And we don't know the timing. We don't know. We're not saying Mary went to hell or anything. You know, people, you know, we don't know the timing of this with regard to any of their souls or anything like that. That's not the point. It's just not the point. The point is, he said, those that will worship, will come together and worship, hear from me, delight in my word, take refuge and comfort in me.

Mary didn't care how busy Martha was, did she? I'm gonna sit right here, if the Lord is in my house, if the Lord is in the house, God help us that he might find us at his feet. There's always things to be done. There's always things that this world or our earthly family would prefer that we do. But we spend a few hours in this life, a week, just a few hours. relatively little, worshiping him. He's worthy of our worship. He's worthy of a whole bunch of it. He's worthy of our whole lives and way more than our lives could ever be.

Fellowshiping with his people, enjoying the comfort and edification of the gospel, it builds us up. You know, everything that people do, you think about this for a minute. People do a lot of things and spend a lot of money to improve themselves in different ways. Physically, with regard to beauty, with regard to clothing and how you present yourself, how you're perceived by this world. Lots of money, lots of effort, lots of time on improving yourself. And when you reach the height of whatever all that is, you'll still be a worthless piece of garbage if you don't know the Lord. You're gonna be taking up space that would be better taken up by an animal of some kind. If you don't honor the Lord Jesus Christ. He has a world because it's for his glory. And his people, he saves his people for his glory. And he arranged his worship for his glory. So improving ourselves is a myth. Honoring the Lord is what's real. It's what's real.

Again, he's not being disrespectful. You remember the words of our Lord from the cross, when Jesus therefore saw his mother and the disciples standing by whom he loved, that's John, he was maybe the oldest of the apostles. He said, woman, behold thy son, And from that hour, and he said to the disciple, he said to John, this is your mother now. Behold your mother. And from that hour, that disciple took her unto his own home. Isn't that beautiful? Who wouldn't have done that? The Lord says, that's your mother now. He's hanging there saving a universe of sinners. And he took care that his mother would have what she needed while she was still on this earth. He's not disrespected his mother here. Oh, no, no, no. He loved and honored his mother always. What he's doing here is teaching a very simple truth. And all this could have been any of us. This could have been any of us. We didn't know we had something else to do before, but we sure we'd like to talk to the Lord. You know, we don't want to break off relations with the Lord. You know, we couldn't come to the service, but you know, we'd like to talk to, you know, we'd like to spend time with him too. You know, if we can fit it in, we can fit it in. It could have been any of us. So it's not a, it's not talking about bad about his mother, but the truest sense of the word family is our spiritual family in Christ. I'm telling you now, What this world calls love is something far short of the love of God that's in the heart of his people. I'm telling you from experience, I'm telling you from the word of God. Your family is those who love God. Whether you know it or not, if you're a believer, your family, those that truly will care for you, those that truly will lay down their life for you and do anything for you and think about you and pray for you. the Lord's family. It's God's people. It's those who worship him and honor him and hear his word, and by his grace, understand his word. Our spiritual family relationship with the people of God does not make earthly blood family relationships anything more, less, or different than what they are. It doesn't change your relationship with your earthly family. It's just a different, it's a whole different thing. It's a different thing, completely. We're to honor our father and our mother. And we would do just about anything for our brothers and sisters when it came right down to it, just because they're our brothers and sisters, right? Just for that reason only. If it came right down to it, I don't have anything in common with any of my earthly family. You know what I'm talking about. At all. But if they needed me, I'd be there. Of course I would. It's my brother, it's my sister, it's whoever. For that reason only. I don't even like them. But because they're my brother, you know what I'm saying? There's something to that. And that doesn't change when you know the Lord. We'll have to cut that part out. I know one of my brothers listens. The spiritual family is more than that. It's something different, completely separate and greater than that. It's more than that. Our Lord plainly taught that. And here's some reasons why it's more. All earthly relationships are going to end. They're going to end. A spiritual family is an eternal family. Never going to end. Even that closest of all earthly relationships, that of marriage, because a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and that's right in the sight of the Lord. But that's so close a bond that the Lord said, they twain shall be one flesh. That's no longer the case when we leave this world. In Matthew 22, the Sadducees tried to mock the Lord Jesus concerning the truth of the resurrection, and they concocted this story where a woman has married seven different men in this life, and they asked him in Matthew 22, 28, in the resurrection, whose wife shall she be of the seven? They're trying to make the truth of God sound ridiculous. For they all had her as their wife. Jesus answered and said unto them, you do err, not knowing the scriptures. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know the power of God, for in the resurrection, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven. She's not going to be any of them's wife. That's what he's saying. But they'll all be as the angels. And you might think that's sad. that you won't be married in heaven. It's not because there's anything wrong with marriage. God instituted marriage. It's a sacred thing that God has instituted in this world. It's not about that. He instituted the marriage of one man and one woman, and there's a difference, and that's all there is. And this pictures Christ and his relationship to his church. But when we're all with Christ, we're married to him. in glory, in all glory. And that doesn't dissolve my relationship with my wife, and I fully expect to know her as my earthly wife. But it improves it. It supersedes it. We're both going to be married to Christ, and we're going to like that a whole lot better than being married to one another. It's not going to You're not going to be sad about it in heaven, are you? When the Lord Jesus Christ is everything to both of us, to all of us. Our bond in Christ is so much greater than any other bond that we have even now. Our bond in Christ is greater on the earth. And when that bond is perfected, it makes all other bonds obsolete. Don't think of it as not being married anymore, but think of it as being much more than that, because it is much more than that. And even now, though we're husband and wife in every beautiful way that a man and woman can be and should be, we're even more than that, because we're one in Christ. And our Lord teaches us this here, family in Christ, we're His family. We're his family. Whatever our earthly relationship is with a husband, a wife, a brother, sister, father, mother, daughter, or son, they are precious relationships, and their dear relationships with the spiritual is more important, it's more enduring, and it's more to be desired than any other. Earthly bonds may be dissolved by the spiritual aspect right here on Earth. Because the spiritual is most important and really all important, the Lord said, I'm come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, and a man's foes shall be they of his own household. That's how all important the spiritual relationship is. If you don't have that, and you know, I know that there's different situations you can be, you can, if the Lord doesn't save your earthly family, you can still have good times with them and love them and enjoy, y'all can enjoy one another and things like that. But what does that mean in heaven? What does that mean to God? If they hate the Lord Jesus Christ, because you don't just get to kind of be neutral on it, do you? You don't just get to be neutral. Happy is the person whose earthly family is also his spiritual family. Oh, you talk about great blessing. a husband or wife who is also your brother or sister in Christ? Is there anything more important to a father and mother than to see their children saved by the Lord Jesus? John spoke of his children walking in truth, and he wasn't talking about earthly children in 3 John 1, 1 through 4. Paul said in 1 Timothy 1.1, Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ, by the commandment of God our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, which is our hope, unto Timothy, my own son in the faith, grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord. They weren't related by blood, but he called Timothy his own son. in the faith. So one final lesson here in this, and I just want us to think about this for a minute, the Lord of glory, the one who created everything, who rules and reigns and runs everything, the one that made us and not we ourselves, the son of God, the mighty God, without whom was not anything made that was made, the everlasting father, the prince of peace, the savior of sinners, he calls us his family.

I turn to Hebrews chapter two with me in closing. Hebrews 2, 7 through 18. Speaking of our Lord, it says, Thou madest him a little lower than the angels. thou crownest him with glory and honor, and didst set him over the works of thy hands. Thou hast put all things in subjection under his feet. For in that he put all in subjection under him, he left nothing that is not put under him. But now we see not yet all things put under him. We see that by faith, but it's not something we experience in this world. But we see Jesus. We don't see this world in subjection to him. We don't see his will done on earth like it is in heaven. We pray for that. And one day in the new earth, there'll be nothing that entereth in that defileth. We don't see that, but we see him. We see him. We see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death. That just means he was made, he was in human flesh as a man, he walked this earth. And here's why, for the suffering of death, to die for us, to die in our place, to die as us, a man. to die for our sins according to the scriptures, crowned with glory and honor.

And think about all of this now when we get where we're going in this, in this passage, we're gonna read all the way through the end of this chapter. But think about who he is, that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man, for it became him for whom are all things and by whom are all things. in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings. For both he that sanctifieth and they who are sanctified are all of one, for which cause he is not ashamed to call them brethren. Our brother, the Lord Jesus Christ, saying, I will declare thy name unto my brethren. In the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee. And again, I will put my trust in him. And again, behold, I and the children which God hath given me. Remember John 17, those that you gave me were his children. God the Father gave the son some children. And that's us.

For as much then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same, that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. For verily he took not on him the nature of angels, But he took on him the seed of Abraham, wherefore in all things it behooved him to be made like unto his brethren. He calls us his brethren. He's not ashamed. It's interesting the way it says that. He's not ashamed to call us brethren. You know why it says it that way? Because we're shameful. Because we're shameful. But he's not ashamed.

middle of verse 17 that he might be a merciful faithful high priest in things pertaining to God to make reconciliation for the sins of the people for in that he himself had suffered being tempted he is able to secure them that are tempted our Lord Jesus Christ our brother were his family, were his church. The word means assembly, his church. His worshipers were told that God purchased the church with his own blood, were his sheep. That name emphasizes his care of us. David concluded that since the Lord was his shepherd, he would never lack a single thing. There's great comfort in considering the Lord as our shepherd.

Fear not, little flock, for it's your father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. We're his body. We're his body. So we being many are one body in Christ and every one members of one another. That means anybody who's his brother or sister or mother is also mine. Also mine. We're his bride. Revelation 21, 9 through 11, if you want to read that later, we're the bride. The Lord picked out a beautiful bride. No, that's not true, is it? He picked out the most repulsive, ugliest, obnoxious bride imaginable and made her beautiful through His comeliness.

The marriage of the Lamb, chosen by Christ in love, We're his family by choice. I mentioned a while ago, I'd be, you know, true to my family and help my family just because they're my family. Christ loves his family with an everlasting love. And he sees in us no sin. He sees in us that which is well-pleasing. We're a saver of Christ unto God. Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. These are the true sayings of God, chosen by Christ in love. A bride is chosen. In a lot of places in the world, it's arranged. But it didn't work like that with God. It was arranged in that it was predetermined and ordained before the foundation of the world, but that was his choice. His choice.

Now, when Vicky and I got married, she didn't just come up and say, I'm ready to be your wife now. Although I don't want to destroy the illustration, but if she had said that, I probably would have melted and said, OK. But I chose her because Well, she's beautiful. And she's the sweetest person that ever lived. But other than that, no good reason. But in the religion of our generation, it's, I've decided. Our savior, If we ever get a glimpse of what he did in order to have us as his bride, what he suffered, what he accomplished, he would not let us go. He said, my sheep I must bring, I must bring them. He said I must needs go through Samaria because there was someone there that he loved. And in his high priestly prayer, he said, Father, I will that those whom you've given me be with me where I am. Be with me where I am.

I think we want that too, don't we? God bless. Let's pray.
Chris Cunningham
About Chris Cunningham
Chris Cunningham is pastor of College Grove Grace Church in College Grove, Tennessee.

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