Well, good morning everyone.
If you would, open your Bibles with me to Ephesians chapter
six. I'm very glad to have Eric and
Tara's class out here with us this morning. I asked that they
come out so we could all be together and look at this subject of children
and fathers in Ephesians chapter six. And before we begin, let's
bow before our Lord in prayer. Our Father, we've gathered here
together this morning in the name of your son. And Father,
we beg of you that you would be pleased to send your spirit
upon us and give us an hour of true worship. Father, speak to
us through your word. I pray that you would be our
teacher and that you'd speak to the hearts of your people.
And Father, cause faith to be mixed with everything that we
hear, that we might Hear the messages prepared this morning
and learn of our Lord Jesus Christ, that we might be pointed to him
and find our rest and hope and peace and confidence in him and
him alone. Father, what we pray for ourselves
this morning, we pray for your people, wherever they might be
meeting together this morning. Father, bless your word. In this
dark, dark day, Father, we pray that you would cause your word
to go forth in power as a light in a dark place, that you might
be pleased to give us a revival in the land, that you'd call
out your people, that you'd give us a special time of refreshing
in Christ our Savior. Father, show us your glory, we
pray. For it's in Christ's name, for his sake and his glory, we
pray, amen. Now here in Ephesians chapter
six, Paul begins the chapter talking to children. And I always
want to make sure our children, our young people, our teenagers,
that y'all know this. The Bible has something to say
to you. The Bible's not just talking
to adults and doesn't have anything to do with you. The Bible has
plenty to say to children. And Paul begins here in verse
one of Ephesians six. Children, obey your parents and
the Lord, for this is right. Now this is what God says. This
is not Frank's idea, this is not ideas of a bunch of a different
theologian. This is what God Almighty has
to say. Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. It's right. There's nothing more
right than for children to obey their parents. Now, the Lord
didn't say this to children. Children, obey your parents.
Do what your parents tell you to do when they tell you to do
it. The Bible doesn't say that to you to ruin your life or to
make you miserable. God says this for your happiness
and for your good. Obey your parents. I promise
you, you'll avoid a lot of heartache if you learn to obey your parents.
Your parents are older than you. They've had time to learn a whole
lot more than what you have. It's just right for you to obey
somebody that knows more than you, and it's just right. Now,
I was a child once. You'll think it was a long time
ago, but I was a child once, and I remember it very well.
And I know what you think. Children all think this. They
think my parents don't understand me. They don't know what it's
like today. They don't know what it's like
for me in school. They don't know what it's like the peer pressure
and things that we're under today. Well, I'll tell you this. Your parents know a whole lot
more what you think that they know. You'll be shocked how much
smarter your parents get the older you get. The more you learn,
you'll be shocked how much smarter your parents become. You know,
your parents have already been your age. Whatever grades you
are in school, they've been there. Whatever things you're going
through, there's nothing to do under the sun. They've been there,
they've been through it. So it's right, it's wise for
you to learn from their experience. And like I say, I promise you,
your parents know more than you do. They know more than what
you think that they know, and you don't know near as much as
you think you know. So it's right for you to obey
your parents. And if you look back at Luke
chapter two, Now, suppose it is true. Suppose that you do
know more about your parents. Now, that's not true, but suppose
that it is. We know the only child who ever
lived that knew more than his parents was the Lord Jesus. He
knew more than his parents, but he set the example for us in
obedience. Look here at Luke 2, verse 51. And he went down with them and
came to Nazareth and was subject unto them. The Lord of Glory
was subject unto his parents because it's right that children
obey their parents. But his mother kept all these
sayings in her heart. The Lord of Glory. I mean, now
you think of this. This is the Lord of Glory in
human flesh obeyed his parents. Isn't that something? And here's
another reason why it's right for children to obey their parents.
It's love. Now your parents love you. They
love you so much that they only want the best for you. If they
do make a mistake, and unfortunately we do, we parents make mistakes,
but if they do make a mistake, I'm telling you this, it's out
of love. They're doing for you out of
love what they really truly believe is best for you. Well then it's
right for you to do what they tell you, isn't it? It's just
right. Your parents love you and you love your parents. You
know how you show your love for your parents? By obeying them. Doing what they tell you to do. Now, unfortunately, this has
to be said. Scripture says obey your parents
in the Lord. In the Lord. Let me tell you
what that means. If your parents tell you to do
something that's wrong, something that's illegal, if they tell
you how to do drugs or teach you how to steal, You know, you
think, well, that won't happen. When I worked at the convenience
stores, this utterly amazed me. There was a family that came
in every once in a while. We finally figured them out, started following
them around. And the two parents and two just very, very small
children. You know what they were teaching them little ones
to do? I mean, three, four years old. They're teaching them how
to shoplift. Because they thought nobody's going to check the pockets,
you know, of this kid. They're teaching them how to
steal. If your parents teach you that, don't do it. Don't
do it. If your parents tell you don't worship the Lord, then
you don't have to obey them. But other than that, other than
that, you obey him because it's right. It's best for you. And
I very seriously doubt that's a problem for anybody here. So
obey your parents. Now read on here. This goes a
little deeper than this. Look at verse two. Honor thy
father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise.
Now verse one tells children, obey your parents in the Lord.
Verse two says, honor your parents, honor them. Now what's the difference
there? Well, you know, just doing what
your parents tell you to do. That's not really obeying them.
See, God looks on the heart. God sees the attitude. And when
God gave the 10 commandments, you know the 10 commandments.
He didn't say in those 10 commandments, obey your father and mother.
Did you know that? He said, honor them. Honor your
father and your mother. Well, how do we honor our parents?
By obeying them, by our attitude. If you would obey God, obey your
parents with a good attitude. Do it with a smile on your face.
You know, honoring our parents, That lasts longer than obeying
our parents. You know, you're not going to
have to obey your parents forever. You're going to grow up and you're
going to move out. You're going to be on your own. You don't obey them anymore.
But scripture tells us no matter how old we are, honor your mother
and your father. And I tell you why this is so
important for us to learn. I told you about earthly things
that for your benefit that you learn to obey your parents. But
I tell you why it's so important. It's spiritually. If we learn
to honor our parents, do you know the Lord just might use
that to teach us to honor Him? To honor Him. But how do we honor
God? How is it that sinners like us
can honor God Almighty? It's by believing on His Son.
Nothing honors God more than believing on Christ. And believing
on Christ is simply this, it's trusting Him. It's trusting,
trusting that Christ alone, His person, His work, trusting Him.
He is all it takes to save me. And He doesn't need any help
from me. He doesn't need any of my works to help. That's honoring
God. Now, God demands of us that we
keep His law perfectly. We must keep His law perfectly.
But I can't do it. You can't do it. I did not always
obey my parents. Sometimes I did, but not always.
And I had lots of spankings to prove the point. But I don't
have any obedience to God's law. None whatsoever. But I can still
honor God by believing Christ, that he obeyed the law for me,
that he made me righteous by his obedience for me. Now Paul
tells us this is the first commandment with promise. Now look over in
Exodus chapter 20. I told you about this but I want
us to look at it and read it. This is the first commandment
with promise. Now what does that mean? When God gave the 10 commandments,
nine times he said do this or don't do that. Just do it or
don't do it, nine times. But there's one commandment,
he said something different. Exodus chapter 20 verse 12. Honor
thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the
land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. There's a promise attached
to this commandment, that your days may be long in the land.
Now look back in our text at verse three. This is what Paul
tells us, he just repeats this in verse three. Honor thy father
and thy mother that it may be well with thee and that thou
mayest live long in the land. Now this is a promise from God.
Your life is going to be better. Your life will be happier if
you learn to obey your parents. You know, I think of things,
I was thinking probably more of smaller children, but things
that your parents tell you. Brush your teeth. Brush your
teeth. You know, that's not just a tick that they teach your mom
in mom school. Your mother's telling you that
so that you avoid pain. later in life, that your teeth
don't rot out of your head or other diseases that start in
your mouth. Brush your teeth. She's telling
you that so you'll be healthier, so you'll be happier. Eat your
vegetables. I mean, how many times does your
mother tell you to eat your vegetables? She's telling you that so you'll
be healthier. It's good for you. Go to bed on time. Oh, I hated
that. I mean, I could stay up late.
I can't get up early in the morning, but I can stay up late. Boy,
she sets a bedtime, you gotta go to bed. It's not so she can
get rid of you for the evening. It's so you get enough rest,
so you can function the next day. You know, she tells you
clean your room, she's got chores, do your chores. She's not just
telling you that to make your life miserable. Do you know learning
to work hard? That's one of the best things
you can learn when you're young. Because if you learn how to work
hard, do a good job at what you do, you're going to have a better
life. Before long, you're going to have to go to work. And you're
going to have to work a long time. You're going to be happier
if you just work hard at it. Spend your time trying to do
a good job instead of get out of work. You're going to be happier
at it. And you know what? Your boss is going to be happier
too. It's shocking to me how few people learn when they're
young how to work and how to do a good job. If you learn how
to work, Your boss is going to love you. You're going to stand
out. You're going to get raises. You're going to get promotions.
It's going to make life easier, isn't it? It sure will. And here's
something else. If your parents teach you to
obey the first time, I mean the first time, not counting to three,
not begging you to do it, I mean obey the first time, it could
keep you out of jail. I promise you this. Someday if
you get pulled over, a policeman He ain't counting to three. And
if you learn to obey him the first time, do what he says the
first time, he could keep you out of jail. Jails are full of
people, full of them, who never learned to obey the first time.
I don't want that for you. I don't want that for you. That'd
break my heart. And this is something that goes
along with honoring your parents. Learn how you should conduct
yourself. by watching your parents. Now,
I'm going to give you an example. When I worked at the C stores,
before we would hire someone, we would ask around about their
family. Do you know this person's family?
We'd ask the other employees, do you know anything about this
person's family? And you know why we did that?
Because it's very likely you're going to act like the rest of
your family. And if it's all right, I'll use you as a little
example. If I was at the convenience store, Emmy comes and she applies
for a job. And we ask around about her family.
And somebody says, oh, yes. Yes, I know her dad. I know her
mom. I know Sean and Julie. And I say, oh, she's Sean and
Julie Thornberry's daughter? Emmy, you'll have the job. I
mean, you will. That's just a fact of the matter.
You'll have the job. Now, it'll get your foot in the
door whose child you are. Because I'm going to figure,
and you'd have the job, so I'm going to figure you're going to act like your
mom. I'm just, you're going to act like, you learn something
from me, you're going to act like them. It'll get your foot in the door. But
now you're going to have to keep that job. You're going to have
to keep it by doing a good job. And I'm just pretty sure you
will, because I know who your mom and dad are. See, if we learn how
an adult is supposed to conduct themselves from our parents,
our lives will be better. They really will. And here's
why, again, now I've showed you earthly reasons why it's so important
to obey and honor your parents. Here's why it's very important,
the most important reason. If we learn to obey our parents,
maybe God will use that to teach us to obey him. Your parents
don't bring you here to these services as a time filler. That's not why they're bringing
you here. They're bringing you here to learn of Christ. They're
bringing you here so you learn about yourself. They're bringing
you here to learn how God saves sinners. And the only place that
you find out the answer to those questions is from the scriptures.
It's not from what different people think. It's from the scriptures.
They're bringing you here to be taught the scriptures. They
bring you here to your Sunday school classes or Bible school
out here in the service. You know, I promise you this.
Every single message that I preach I read over my notes and I think
about you children. And I think, now will they understand
this? Will they understand what I'm saying? Will they understand
this word? Will this be something that's helpful to them? I think
about you in every message. That's why your parents are bringing
you here. So you're taught the scriptures. And I tell you, don't ever forget
it. Don't ever forget what you've been taught here. Look over at
Proverbs chapter three. Solomon had a lot to say to children.
He talked to his son quite often in the book of Proverbs. Here
in Proverbs chapter three, it could be that your parents bring
you here, you're taught the scriptures, it'll make you like young Timothy
was, wise unto salvation. God'll use that to give you eternal
life. Look at Proverbs three, verse one. This is why I'm saying,
don't forget what you've been taught here now. My son, forget
not my law, but let thine heart keep my commandments. Let your
heart keep what I've taught you. For length of days and long life
and peace shall they add to thee. And length of days there is not
just in this life, it's eternal life. It's peace with God and
it'll add to thee. Look at chapter six. Chapter six, verse 20. My son, keep thy father's commandment,
and forsake not the law of thy mother. Bind them continually
upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. And when thou
goest, it shall lead thee, and when thou sleepest, it shall
keep thee, and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For
the commandment is a lamb, and the law is light, and the proofs
of instruction are the way of life to keep thee from the evil
woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Now
if we learn the scriptures, and the Lord uses those scriptures
to teach us to trust Christ, it'll keep you from falling into
so many traps, it'll keep you from falling into the trap of
false religion, it'll just keep you from everything, it'll make
your whole life better. Now that's one of the main things
that scripture has to say to children. But now parents, we
have a responsibility. in this thing too. Hold your
finger there for a second in Proverbs. Flip back over to our
text. Parents have a responsibility in this, and Paul is speaking
to fathers. I think it applies to all parents,
but there's some things here that specifically apply to fathers. He says, and ye fathers, provoke
not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord. Now let me start out by saying
this to parents. tells our children to honor their parents, doesn't
it? Then be an honorable man. Be an honorable man. Be someone
that your children can admire. The scripture says for children
to obey their parents. Then be someone your children
can trust. Yeah, I mean, it's just a whole
lot easier to obey somebody when you can trust them, isn't it?
And there are two main things that scripture teaches parents
repeatedly. It tells fathers, Correct your
children and teach your children. And by correct, the scriptures
mean spank their little hind end. Now look back at Proverbs,
Proverbs chapter 13. Proverbs 13, verse 24. He that spareth his
rod hateth his son, but he that loveth
him chasteneth him betimes. Now parents will correct a child
that they love. Now I tell you, many parents
won't spank a child, and you know why? They love themselves
more than that child. Simple fact of the matter, they
don't want the child pouting at them, they don't want the
child being mad at them. Phooey. That's the best word
I can, just phooey. That's just foolish thinking.
They do something wrong, now you just spank them and it's
over. You dry their eyes, you love
them a little bit and send them on their way. They'll be just
fine. They'll be just fine. I can tell you that from experience.
They'll be just fine. Look at Proverbs 19. This is
not the only time Solomon says this. Proverbs 19. Verse 18. Chasing my son while there's
hope and let not thy soul spare for his crying Chasing my son
while there's hope So you better start young better start young
because before long That path gets so set you can't correct
it My wife who's just one of the wisest mothers I've ever
known Recently told our daughter now You better get a hold of
this with Grayson, our grandson. She said, if by the time he's
three years old, he's running your house, you're a goner. You can't undo it. You can't
change it. Correct him while there's time,
while there's time to fix this thing. Now, what if they get
mad at you? Who cares? They're the one that
did something wrong. They ought to be a whole lot
more afraid that you're mad. They ought to be a whole lot
more afraid they disappointed you. Teach them to deal with
it. Teach them to deal with it. Maybe,
maybe they'll learn to deal with the Lord's correction. Could
be. Spanking a child, it's one of the best ways to teach a child
not to do wrong. And that's the truth. That's
the truth from scripture, and nothing in today's liberal world
makes this untrue. I looked it up. I looked it up
this week. And boy, I mean, I found 5,822 places on the web telling
me how wrong it is to spank your children. Let me let you in on
a little secret. The fact that the world thinks
it's wrong means it's right. Means it's right. But now listen. Don't go beating them all the
time. Now use some wisdom in this thing. Use some wisdom.
Effective discipline. can only be done in love, only. It can never be done in anger.
Don't discipline your children in public to embarrass them. I'll tell you a mistake I made.
Don't discipline your children to impress your dad. Holly was
a little thing. She did something wrong. I mean,
she just defied me. I just spanked her little self,
you know. Dad was there. He didn't say
anything. But when we were leaving that day, he pulled me aside.
And he told me, he said, now I know you've got to discipline
the children. You don't have to do it in front
of me and your mother. That's good advice. That was good advice. I was a big mistake on my part.
Discipline is never meant to embarrass a child, never. It's
meant to teach them, to teach them And don't go to extremes,
screaming and yelling at them and throwing a tantrum. They're
just going to learn to tune you out. Don't do that. Now, I will
tell you this. An occasional raised voice, that's
good. That's good. People say you ought
not be scared of your parents. Yeah, I think you should. I'll
just base this on my experience. Eric, I can't tell you how much
trouble I stayed out of as a teenager because I was scared of my dad.
I mean, I revered him. I love him like no man I've ever
known. But I was scared of him. It was
good for me. It was good for me. All right, now here's the warning,
though, from Scripture. Fathers, don't provoke your children to
wrath. You've got to pray for wisdom here. The word provoke
there means to exasperate. Don't make them frustrated. Don't
make them so, they try so hard to please you and you just make
it where they can't please you. All you're going to do is frustrate
them. Now make your children please you. Make them mind you.
But don't make it impossible for them to do it. Remember this. Children are children. Now they're
still, that's why we're teaching. They're not adults yet. They
need to be taught. And our job is to teach them. Is to teach
them how to be an adult so they'll know how to do it when the time
comes. All right, the second thing scripture repeatedly tells
fathers to do is to teach them. Now, if we're gonna teach our
children, fathers, we're gonna have to be a man of wisdom. We're
gonna have to be somebody our family can count on to lead them
right and to teach them the right things. Be a source of wisdom
for your family, a source of strength and leadership. That's
what your family needs from you. Your family needs to know There's
somebody with some wisdom. There's somebody that loves me
that's steering this ship. Now conduct yourself that way.
You be the man that your family, and we're particularly talking
about children here, that your children can depend on. They
can depend on you to teach them and to advise them and to correct
them with wisdom. And I'll tell you the number
one thing fathers are to teach their children is the gospel.
Teach them the fear of the Lord. Teach them the worship of the
Lord. Teach them by your word. Teach
them by what you tell them. Tell them about the Lord. Talk
to them about the gospel. And then teach them by your example.
Teach them by your example. The way you conduct yourself
at home had better match the way you conduct yourself here.
If not, your children will see through that faster than anybody
on this earth. and you'll turn them away from the gospel. Now
don't do that. Teach them the gospel. Tell them
this is what the Lord's done for me. This is what the Lord's
done for his people. Tell them that you can trust
him too. You can trust him too. You know one of the best things
you can do for your children is have them in their Sunday
school classes. Have them in the public worship
service as often as possible. I do this a couple times a year.
I'm gonna give you a commercial. We have the best Sunday school
teachers you'll find anywhere here. And if my children were
still little, I promise you, they'd be sitting under them.
They really would. And when they come out of their
classes, ask them about what they heard. Ask them. I know
the first thing they'll say, well, I didn't learn nothing.
Make them tell you one thing. Make them tell you. You know,
when they're real little, now when they're real little, they
first go into Sabrina's class, they're three years old, They
might not remember when they first come out. Maybe they won't.
But I tell you what, let the week roll on. Some random Tuesday
morning, it's going to come out. It's going to come out. Some
of y'all asked Lindy about that recently. Lindy comes out of
her class, and Lindy asked, what'd you learn? She said nothing.
And by Tuesday, oh, the whole lesson comes rolling. Just be
with them, and have them here to be taught. Could be that in
spite of them and us, the Lord teach them something. Could be. Now if you'll permit me, let
me give you fathers, us fathers, a word of advice. Fathers, we're to teach our children
to work hard. Give them things to do to work
hard and set the example. Show them an example of a man
that works hard. Goes out and works hard at what
he does. I just, one of the most important things we can teach
our children is a work ethic. It really is. It'll make their
life so much better. And fathers, teach your sons
and teach your daughters what the love of a man is supposed
to look like. If we teach that to our sons,
hopefully they'll grow up and they'll know how to be men who
love their wives and love their children. Who just so happen
to be your grandchildren, by the way. Hopefully your daughter
will learn the difference between lust and love. And she'll look
for a man to marry who's like her daddy. Nobody can teach that
like fathers can. And here's a good lesson that
we should teach our children. The world does not revolve around
them. Now I know a lot of times it
does. If we're alone in the house or something, yes, the world
can revolve around them some. But not when we're in public.
Not when we got guests over at the house. Teach them, don't
ever interrupt adults. And here's why I teach them that.
Someone else is more important than them. Now, that's just a
good life lesson. I mean, out there in the world,
ain't nobody thinks your little one is the most important thing
out there. There's somebody always more
important than me. It's going to be true on the
job. Everybody's more important. in your family. Now, when you're
taking care of your family, their needs have to come first, don't
they? They have to teach them that you're not just the most
important thing on the face of this earth. And also, they might
just learn to keep their mouth shut and listen to God, listen
to the scriptures. And here's another thing. I mean, you just can't replace
being there, being with your children. You can't teach them
if you're not there with them, can you? You can't be an example
for them if you're not there with them. I know, boy, this
world is so crazy busy, but do your best not to schedule quality
time, because you just can't schedule when questions are going
to come up. Just like that example I told you about Lindy and Libby,
she couldn't schedule when that question's going to come up.
You just got to be there, don't you? Just be there. And I touched on this before,
but let me hit it again, because this is such a problem in our
day. Fathers, let's be men. Let's
be men. Men of honor, men of character. Be the man your child can respect. They don't need a friend, and
they don't need another peer. Be above them, so they got somebody
to look up to. And you know what? You don't
have to explain to your children what you're doing most of the
time. I said so. Pretty much covers every situation. Just be the authority figure
that your child can trust. It's so important. Now again,
you know, this is all for our earthly good, but let's not forget
here, we're teaching Christ. We're teaching redemption in
Him. God's people can trust our Father.
We can trust in you. Do your best to copy that, and
your family will be better off. And spend a lot of time, spend
a lot of time in prayer, asking for wisdom, asking for the ability
to be a good father. When our oldest daughter Holly
was born, my mother told me, now you're going to have to learn
how to talk and pray at the same time. You're gonna get questions
and you're gonna think, oh my goodness, and you're gonna have
to pray that the Lord give you the answer while you're talking.
You're gonna have to learn to talk and pray at the same time. Spend
a lot of time in prayer. Just do everything in your power
to teach your children what the gospel says. And in the end,
if the Lord makes fine adults out of them, it won't be because
of our good parenting, will it? No, it'll be by His grace. For
the same reason, if they grow up and the Lord saves them, It
won't be because of our good parenting and our good teaching.
It'll be by His grace. So teach them. Teach them to
be dependent on God's grace. Now while it's all by God's grace,
let's also pray, Lord, make us the best fathers that we can
be. Because our children deserve that, don't they? All right,
I hope Lord will bless that to you.