Would you take your Bibles and
turn with me to the book of Ephesians chapter 5? We had a men's meeting yesterday,
and we looked at some of these scriptures.
And they were such a blessing to me, I thought about sharing
some of the things we considered yesterday. with the whole congregation. Reason being, I believe we all
need them. I heard Brother Henry say that
someone asked him one time, I told you this the other day, does
a believer naturally know the right thing to do or do they
need to be taught? The answer is yes and yes. They
know but they need to be taught. I want to preach both messages
today on this subject. A Biblical Marriage. And I've
entitled the first one with that title, A Biblical Marriage, A
Loving Husband. And Lord willing, the second
message will be A Biblical Marriage, A Submissive Wife. Ephesians chapter 5, I'm going
to look at a loving husband first. Verse 25, Ephesians 5, 25. Husbands, love your wives even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Now I want you to look before
we consider this for a moment at verse 32 of Ephesians 5. This is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ
and the Church. I want us to look at something
this morning that is so mysterious and so marvelous. And let's go
ahead and just admit right now This great mystery is something
that we look at and we see through a glass darkly. We can see something of it, but
it is a great mystery. But it's a great mystery that
the Lord has been pleased to give His people some light on. But I'm going to go ahead and
tell you right now, after we've looked at this Wonderful subject. A marriage. What is a marriage? Well, according to the scripture,
it's a great mystery. Ordained of God. The Lord said
concerning Adam, Genesis it says, for this cause, Shall a man leave
his father and his mother and shall cleave, shall hold to his
wife? Cleave to his wife. Adam didn't have a father or
a mother. That scripture was speaking of
the Lord Jesus Christ for this reason. shall the man leave his
father." The Lord Jesus Christ gave himself, humbled himself,
cleaved to his wife eternally, never relinquishing his deity,
but took upon himself the form of sinful flesh for this one
reason. He loved his wife and in obedience
to his father's will that she be redeemed and saved, he gave
himself. Husbands, listen, you that are
not married, listen, I'm going to tell you what God has to say
about a marriage. And this is the husband's responsibility. It's a privilege. It's an honor. But I tell you this, it's a God-given
honor and responsibility. Husbands, love your wife. Now I want us to consider for
a minute this thing of love. Just hold your place right there
in Ephesians. And turn with me to 1 Corinthians
13. First Corinthians 13. You know,
it's real easy for us to say, well, you know what, I love my
wife, I go to work, I do this, I do all that. That's good. That's
good. I'm glad you ought to. And if
you don't, shame on you. But I want to know, what does
God have to say about love? This is what the Lord says. First
Corinthians. I'm going to just look just a
bit for the sake of time. I want us to look at something
though concerning love. And listen, this is concerning
a husband's love for his wife, but it's concerning love in general. Love is of God. We're considering
husbands love your wife. I want to know what does God
have to say about love? Now this is love. 1 Corinthians 13, 1-3, Though I
speak with the tongues of men and of angels and have not charity,
love, I am become a sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal. If you, you can have the ability
to just express yourself so wonderfully. Though I have, verse 2, the gift
of prophecy, and I understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
though I have all faith, so I could remove mountains and have not
love, charity, I'm nothing. Though I bestow all my good,
you're so giving, You're so generous, I'd bestow all my goods to the
poor and though I give my body to be burned, I'm so sacrificial,
I have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Now listen, without
what the Word of God says concerning love. If you don't have this,
right here, what God has to say about love. I'm telling you,
all of your speech, all of your eloquence, all of your knowledge,
it's just repulsive to the ears. You have all the ability to,
you know, just mentally grasp hold of all the scriptures. But if you don't have love, what
God has to say about love, You're like a life, you're like a body,
a body without life. It's just offensive. You're like
a contaminated well. You cry by your attitude and
actions, don't drink from me, I'm poison. You know all these wonderful
things, you know, you got a mental assent to the gospel, you understand,
you know, but you don't have love. You're like the kiss of
Judas. It looks good on the outside,
just for that moment, but betrayal is lurking. You don't have love, it's like
a house that's built on sand, there's no stability. Like a
book, it doesn't have any words, it's just no profitable instruction. Love is the chief evidence of
a person being a believer. Love, by this shall all men know
that you're my disciples. You have love, one for another. And the book of Ephesians, and
here again, I'm going to just touch these very quickly. The
book of Ephesians, it reveals what love is and what love is
not. I want us to look for just a
second at what love is not. what it doesn't do. Look at verse
4. I'll skip down to the second
line of verse 4 and I'll go back to the first part of it in a
minute. But here's what it doesn't do. Charity, love, envieth not. It's not jealous. Husbands, love your wives. as
Christ loved the church. And here's love. It's not jealous. It's not suspicious. It's not
always questioning another's actions or their motives. Love trusts. It trusts. That's love. A man that loves his wife is
not suspicious of her. He loves her. Not jealous. Love vaunteth not itself. It doesn't promote itself. It's
not rash for personal glory. Love is not puffed up. It's not conceited. Not thinking
that I can do no wrong. My way the highway. I'm the man. You get that through your head.
That's not love. That's not love. Not puffed up. Look at verse 5. Love does not
behave itself unseemly. It's not rude. It's not discourteous. It's thoughtful. Love does not have a continual
bad attitude. Love, verse 5, seeketh not her
own. It means it doesn't shrink or
draw back from seeking the welfare of others. Husband, love your
wife. A man that loves his wife is looking for her welfare always. A man that loves his wife is
always looking for the best for his wife. Love is not easily provoked. I heard Brother Henry say this
one time. He said, love isn't touchy. Love is not easily offended. not resentful. Love is not high-maintenance. You think about somebody just
high-maintenance, you just got to walk around on eggshells all
the time. It's always afraid, you're just
going to... I can't say anything right. I say something, it doesn't
come out, you know, the way I thought it. Always take the worst attitude
toward it. Love thinketh no evil. Now you know, some might say,
well I don't know anybody. We all, you know, we all have
an old nature that just think, yep, I know we do. That's exactly
right, we do. It's not talking about that inability
that we have to just not think evil, because we all think that.
We all have that, you know, but here's what he's talking about.
It doesn't think or reflect or continually bring up another
one's past faults or failings. It doesn't always just, you know,
well, I tell you what, I remember. I remember what you did. I remember
what you did. That's not love. That is not love. Look at Philippians
4, 8. Philippians chapter 4, verse 8. Here's what the scripture
says. Philippians 4, 8. Finally brethren, whatsoever
things are true, whatsoever things are honest, Whatsoever things are just, whatsoever
things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things
are of good report, if there be any virtue, if there be any
praise, think on these things. Love, back in 1 Corinthians 13
verse 5, thinketh no evil. Well, it happened in the past
and I'm not going to let it go. That's not a loving spirit. That's
not love. Is there anything that you would
have in your past that you would like for somebody just to forgive
you for and forget? Verse 6, Love rejoiceth not in
iniquity. That is, love does not find pleasure
in repeating or hearing repeated Another one's shortcomings. We're
all fallen sons of Adam. There's not one ounce of good
in our old man. No one has any. Everybody is
a sinner. And by the grace of God, saved. But love does not rejoice in
the shortcomings of another one. Man that just always want to
pick on his wife about, you know, I tell you what, she's this and
she's that. It's not love. Here's what love does. Back and
forth. Verse 4. Charity suffereth long. Charity is patient. Patient for
Christ's sake. Patient for the sake of your
wife. Patient for the sake of the body.
Long-suffering. That's what it is. Verse 6. It rejoiceth in the truth. It rejoices in the truth of the
gospel. It rejoices and agrees with the
truth of the gospel. This is what I am by nature.
It's what my wife is. It's what my husband is. by nature. And I love him. I love her. I'm
long-suffering with her. I'm patient with her. I don't
want to put her down. I want to hide her faults. I
want others to think the best of her. Rejoices in the truth. in hearing
and rehearsing what the mercy of God has done for me, for my
wife. And it rejoices in seeing others
grow in grace. It's the most grieving thing
in the world to see someone just refuses to say they're a believer. They've just got the worst attitude
And it just, you know. Scripture says, verse 7, here's
what love doth, it beareth all things. I mentioned this a second ago,
but I wrote it down right here. Hides the faults of another.
You parents, let me ask you something. For your children, your kids, as they're growing
up, Don't you want to hide the faults they have? Why won't we
do that for our spouse? It beareth all things. It believes the best of another. I want my kids to grow. I want
my kids to respect me. I want my kids to love God. I
want my children, if they're married, I want them to love
each other. It puts the best twist on another one's actions
and words. It beareth all things. You hear
somebody say something, and I'm telling you, here's the old man.
And I'm going to tell you something, we're all guilty. I'm just telling
you what the Word of God says. This is the most convicting passage
of Scripture for me. I'm the one that stands here
and has to set forth, and I'm thinking to myself, oh my, who's
sufficient for these things? The old man will hear what somebody
says and it'll put the worst twist on it. I heard what you
said. I know what you meant. I know
what you meant. Love beareth all things. It hopeth all things. It hopeth
all things. It looks for the man. Remember
the prodigal? That boy That boy failed. Told his daddy, I want what's
coming to me, give it to me. He took it and he wasted all
of it. But you know that was a boy that never ceased to be
his daddy's son. I don't know how long he looked
for him. But I tell you what, he was looking the day that boy
was coming back. And he rejoiced. And that boy
had already rehearsed his story. I'm not worthy to be your son,
and dad never brought it up. You put some shoes on his feet,
and a ring on his hand, and a robe on his back, and kill that fatty
calf. It hopeth all things. Praying, seeking God's direction.
It endureth all things. For the gospel's sake, For the
sake of the unity of this body, for the sake of the unity of
your marriage, endures all things. I may say,
yeah, but you don't know what I'm living in. A man that loves his wife endures
all things. Verse 8 says this concerning
love. Charity never fails. Verse 13 says, Now abideth faith,
hope, and charity. The greatest of these is charity.
Hope, that is that future expectation. One of these days is going to
be brought to light. Hope. We have a good hope in
Christ. Faith is going to be done away
with one of these days. We're going to see by sight.
But love. Love. Never fails. Love doesn't stop. Love doesn't
cease. Now back in Ephesians 5, 25.
Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church
and gave himself for it. He loved her consistently. He said, I'll never leave you. I'll never forsake you. You think
about that. You husbands, you think about
that. You'd say to your wife, honey, I love you. I'm not going
to leave you. I'm not going to forsake you.
Husbands love your wives. as Christ loved the church. He loved her tenderly. He loved her completely. He loved
her selflessly. The scripture says, he gave himself. He loved her. Husbands, love
your wives. even as Christ also loved the
church. A man that loves his wife, loves
her compassionately, as her head, as the head of that
marriage, of that home, he wants her, and I'm going to deal with
this a little bit when I get over to the next message, but
he wants her to depend on him. Husbands, love your wife. Grab hold of that word, your.
Love your wife. She's your wife. You love her. We have a lot of acquaintances,
have a lot of friends, have a lot of, you There's a lot of people
in this congregation. I have one wife in this congregation.
I have one wife. I love her. She's my wife. And I want her to be dependent
upon me. A husband that loves his wife
as Christ loves the church takes the responsibility for the well-being
of that marriage. Husbands It's your responsibility for the well-being, the whole tone of the marriage. Now you listen, the whole tone
of the marriage is set by the husband. What or who set the tone of the
marriage between the Lord Jesus Christ and His bride? Who said
it? Christ or the bride? Do you see what I'm saying? Who
sets the tone? A husband that loves his wife
and does all for her. For her good, for her protection,
for her comfort. That wife willingly submits herself
to that. Husband desires for his wife
to be in submission You love her. What constrains a believer
toward Christ? Well, here's what the scripture
says. The love of Christ constraineth us. Do you know how the Lord
deals with his people? In love. In love. Even in chastisement, in chastenings. He does it, Mitch, for our good,
because He loves us. Whom the Lord loveth, He chasteneth. But I'm telling you, for His
people, He's not a tyrant. He's not a dictator with unlovingness
toward His people. He loves His own. The Lord gave you that wife.
He gave you the wife. Look at John 17, verse 2. Here's what the Lord said, remembering
this, when we love our wives, never forget, and Lord help me
to remember this, this is a great mystery. Our relationship, it's
not just, well, I just, you know, me and the old lady, you know.
Listen, a husband and his wife is in this world a glorious,
mysterious picture of the marriage of the Lord Jesus Christ and
His bride. And every day that we're in this
world, men and women, listen to me, we are proclaiming We
are proclaimers in our marriage. The relationship, or we ought
to be, we should strive to be. The relationship between Christ
and His bride. How does the Lord love His people? Husbands, love your wife. He gave her to you. Look at John
17, 2. As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he
should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. This is God's gift, husbands,
to you. Your wife. She's a picture of
the church. She's a picture of the bride
of Christ. Love her that way. Speak to her
that way. Consider her that way. Almighty God chose the bride
of Christ and gave her to the Lord, the husband. Betrothed
her to him and the Lord to her before the foundation of the
world. I've loved you with an everlasting love. You say, you mean, you're telling
me that the Lord ordained? Look in Ephesians 1.11. He ordained
my wife, my husband. I thought I chose her. Ephesians 1.11 says, In whom
also we have obtained an inheritance being predestinated according
to the purpose of Him who worketh all things after the counsel
of His own will. Almighty God, Cuspids, has given
you a wife. Treat her as such. She's the Lord's gift, and He's
given her to you. And I'm speaking to believers,
I know, because an unbeliever is not going to understand or
care. But I'm telling you, you men that love Christ, have a
heart for Him, you recognize something. Your wife is a picture
of his bride. And the way that he treats her,
you say, I'll never come up to that expectation. I agree with
you. None of us will. But I'm going to tell you something.
Lord, teach me something concerning this. Lord, help me. Lord, forgive me for my attitude. You love her. You cherish her.
You respect her. You comfort her. You conceal
her faults and be an example before her that others might behold, but
especially your wife might behold something of the mercy of almighty
God to his bride. And you treat her. You know what
I mentioned a while ago, the Lord said, I'll never leave you.
I'll never, I'll never forsake you. You treat her in private
just like you would in public. You know, we can put on a good
front, can't we? You know, you can put on a big
show in front of others. But I'm going to tell you something,
she knows. She knows. And I'm going to tell you this,
others do too. Because you're not hiding everything. Treat her. affectionately, lovingly. Submission is earned. Submission is earned. And I'm telling you a wife who
has a husband that loves her, does all for her, she gladly,
thankfully submits. I don't want to get into the
next message. A man that loves his wife, He adores her. And she knows it. I want you
to look at Song of Solomon 4. Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes,
Song of Solomon. Song of Solomon chapter 4, verse
1 to 7. Now these words are so marvelous,
they're so magnificent. These are divine. This is the
Lord speaking to his bride. This is his attitude toward her.
Behold thou art fair my love. Behold thou art fair, thou hast
dove's eyes within thy locks, thy hair is as a flock of goats
that appear from Mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of
sheep that are shorn which came up from the washing whereof every
one bear twins, none is barren among them. Thy lips are like
a thread of scarlet, thy speech is comely, thy temples like a
piece of pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the Tower
of David, builded for an armory, whereon there hang a thousand
bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like
the two young rose that are twins, which feed among the lilies.
Until the day break and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the
mountain of myrrh, to the hill of frankincense. Thou art all
fair, my love. There's no spot in thee." What
he's saying is, there's nothing about you. that I don't adore. The Lord has made his people
that way. The Lord made his people that
way. Husbands, treat your wife with adoration. Look at verse
9. Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse. Thou hast
ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of
thy neck. I adore you. Thank God for you. Thank the Lord He gave you to
me. To a husband that loves his wife. She's more beautiful now. He
loves her more now than he did when he first met her. You say,
you mean with all these wrinkles and stuff? Yes, I do. He loves
her. Loves her. Christ's love for
His church never changes. Our love for our wife, husbands,
grows. Say, I believe in love at first
sight. I don't. I don't. Love grows. You love your wife
because you know her. You watch over her. You forgive
her. You've grown with her. The Lord's
bride fell in Adam. He never changed. Husband, cover
her faults. And here in closing, told the
men this yesterday, I said, you know, some say marriage 50-50.
I don't think so. No, somebody said, I'll tell
you what it is, it's 100-100. I don't think so. The scripture says that the Lord
Jesus Christ gave himself Loved His church and gave Himself.
And do you know I didn't notice any other scripture after that
on that verse concerning Him giving Himself? He gave Himself. And there was nothing on her
part, on the bride's part, to do anything to make His love
complete. A man loves 100% to nothing. And a wife does too. She ought
to. He ought to. If I say it's 100-100,
here's what I'm going to say. I'm going to give my 100. Doggone
it, you better give yours too. You don't come up to your 100? No, that's a Mexican standoff. But I'm telling you, when you
love her, because you love her, if she doesn't meet your expectation,
you love her. You think how the Lord loves
his people. I'll just read the rest of the verse. Ephesians
5, 28. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself. For no man ever yet hateth his
own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord
the church. I told the guys yesterday, you
know if I hurt this hand right here, it's part of my body right
here. Your wife's one with you. If
I hurt this hand, you know I'm not going to scold it. I'm not
going to fuss at it. I'm not going to bring up all
its faults, things that it should have done. You ought to have
been able to pick that up. You shouldn't have hurt. You
shouldn't have had arthritis. Your fault. You know what I'm
going to do? I'm going to try to take care
of it. If I get something in my eye, I'm not going to pluck
it out. I'm going to do all I can. to
get it and get some relief. And I want to help it. Why? Because
it's my eye. Glenda's my wife. I want to scold
her and fuss at her. I want to love her. For we're members, verse 30,
of His body, of His flesh, of His bone. For this cause shall
a man leave his father, be joined unto his wife, and they too shall
be One flesh. Now, truly, this is a great mystery,
isn't it? This is a great mystery. But
I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let
every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself. Don't you want the best for yourself?
Aren't you going to pamper yourself? Anybody that's got any sense
will say yes. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular
so love his wife even as himself. And the wife see that she reverence
her husband. What did the Lord do? He gave
himself. He loved his bride. It's the
first rule, first admonition of a biblical marriage. Husbands,
love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for
it. May the Lord bless these words
for Christ's sake. Amen.