We're gonna do the unthinkable.
We're gonna look at two Proverbs this morning. Instead of just
one. But I actually believe that this
should be one. I believe these verses belong
together. Verse 31, the ear that heareth
the reproof of life abideth among the wise. He that refuseth instruction
despiseth his own soul, but he that heareth reproof Get us understanding
you see how closely related. They are and I believe this is
a Single statement the the negative is sandwiched between two positives
he that he the ear that heareth and the the he that heareth reproof
get us understanding and then in between that you have the
refusing of instruction and And what that means? But but the
scriptures are so clear and adamant on this. You remember in another
place King Solomon wrote, with all thy getting, get understanding. Wisdom and understanding from
God. He said there's no rubies, there's no jewels, there's no
riches on this earth that can even compare to getting some
understanding from God. And we know that to be true if
we have any of it. And that's what he said, with
all of your getting, get some of it. Hear from God. And what you're exhorted to hear
in this passage is called reproof at the end of verse 32. Now this
word means rebuke, correction, chastisement. It means you're
being corrected, you're being withstood. You've said something
or done something and somebody's saying, uh-uh, think about this
now, look at what God said. Turn around, stop, don't do that. You see, it's an active rebuke
of something. You've got to do something or
say something in order to be rebuked like this. But also here,
it's not the same as instruction in the first part of verse 32.
It's not the same word. Instruction here means discipline. And it's said to be refused and
not heard. See the other ones have to do
with saying something because it talks about the ear that heareth,
that reproof. And then the same thing in the
last part of verse 32, but the instruction in verse 32 is refused,
not heard. It's rejected, it's ignored. But more than that, The word
means to lead. It means that you're not going
to be led. You refuse to take the discipline. You're going
to just do it your way, anyway, despite whatever discipline you
receive. And we know from the scripture
that discipline can be by word, or it can also be by the rod,
what the scripture calls the rod. But it's always accompanied
here with reproof you see here That's to be heard. There's always got to be teaching
with it Even when it's the rod That is applied in discipline
when we're born When we're born we need to be taught And you
begin to learn as soon as you're taught As soon as you're born
you begin To learn things, children, I believe, begin immediately
to learn whether they're loved or not. And you might take for
granted, well, all children are loved. That's just not true,
is it? That's just not true. They begin to learn that. They
pick up on that. They hear voices. They feel things,
and they experience whether they are or not. They learn to nurse.
You think, well, there's some instinct involved in that, but
it takes longer sometimes to teach them. even to eat. They learn many things when they're
little bitty babies. When they get a little older,
one of the first things they learn is what they can get away
with, because they're sinners, aren't they? And we all who are
parents know that, and if we have ever been children, which
is everybody, and the Lord's given you some understanding,
then you know that too. And they learn better and better
whether they are loved or not, because that's taught in many
ways. This one might surprise some people. One of the ways
that you teach your children how you feel about them is how
you discipline them. Proverbs 13, 24, he that spareth
his rod, hateth his son. that he that loveth him chasteneth
him betimes. I don't know how many betimes
betimes is, but it sounds like it's kind of often, doesn't it?
It doesn't sound like chasteneth him every once in a while. I
think it's however many betimes it takes is what I think it means.
And look, a rod is a stick, okay? It's a stick. It's a branch,
and some of us were disciplined that way. My mom preferred a
belt, and she would usually let me pick it, and there were no
good choices. I always thought, well, I'll get that little beaded,
that little skinny one. It didn't take me long to figure
out that was not a good choice, but neither was the big one.
It wasn't good either. But the rod means a stick used
for beating or striking. That's what it is. It's not complicated. It's not very popular these days.
But look, I don't care what books you've read other than this one.
I don't care what experts you've consulted. I just want to know
what God says about it. How about you? Now this lesson here in Proverbs,
it seems to be more about receiving discipline than it is about administering
it. But verse 31 there, look at verse 31 again. The ear that
heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise. And then the
very next line, he that refuseth instruction despiseth his own
soul. Do you want that verse 31 there?
Do you want that to be the ones that you love? Abiding among
the wise. Because this wisdom is not just
being smarter than other people. It's called the reproof of life
for a reason. We'll talk about that a little
more in a minute. But if you want that to be your children,
who's going to do the reproving when it comes to your children?
Who do you think it's going to be? And I'm pointing out the meaning
of these words and these connections in scripture because discipline
when children are small is by the rod more than anything. And
the rod and the reproof, the teaching, the verbal teaching
go together. And they result in one wonderful
result. I want you to look at this with
me, Proverbs 23.12 because You're familiar with part of this that
we've looked at many times, but I want to look at some context
of it because it's so important Proverbs 23 12 Apply thine heart
unto instruction and thine ears to the words of knowledge in
other words be Be instructed and reproved yourself. Be disciplined
yourself. And this is written to people
that can read it, right? So this is adult people, but
also the next word, withhold not correction from the child.
So we learn when we're babies, don't we? Today, I hope we're
gonna learn something. We better, we need it. We never
stop, do we? We never stop learning. Withhold
not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with
the rod, he shall not die. He might think he is going to.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod and thou shalt deliver his
soul from hell. And then look what it says next.
This is heartbreaking, isn't it? My son, if thine heart be
wise. You see how this goes with our
text? When there's discipline, when there's reproof and it's
received, That person's gonna abide among the wise. And look
what Solomon's reaction to that is. If your heart be wise, my
heart's gonna be happy. Isn't that beautiful? I tell
you right now, if your children are not, you're not gonna be
either happy. You're not gonna be happy. My
heart shall rejoice, even mine. That's beautiful to me. Now the
reason that the soul in eternity, hell, And clearly the alternative
is implied or brought into the matter is because there's a direct
connection between discipline as a child and discipline as
an adult. That's pretty clear here. If
children are taught that there's no accountability when they're
little, then they'll learn that very well. They learn real good
when they're little, one way or the other. If they learn there's
no accountability, they'll learn it real good, and it affects
how they hear when they're older. If your word means nothing to
them when you say, don't do that, or come here, if that doesn't
mean anything to them, if it doesn't really mean come here,
it just means you want them to come here, and then they just
do what they want and you let it go. If that doesn't mean anything
then, then why would you think that your word is magically gonna
mean something when they're teenagers? It's not. And you say things
like, oh, stay away from that person. Stay away from that person. Or it's important that you listen
when the gospel's preached, or anything you tell them. Things aren't just gonna magically
change when something they didn't wanna hear has never really been
a mandate. It's just kind of been an annoyance,
you know. Then that's all it's going to be when they're older.
It's going to annoy them, but it's not going to stop them from
doing what they want to do. Which, by the way, is evil. What we want to do is evil. When
whether to hear from God or not becomes their decision and not
yours anymore, you've already taught them that it's not that
big of a deal either way. It's already ingrained in them. but there's a reason that in
the first part of verse thirty one it's called the reproof of
life it's called this for two reasons
simply because it's life and death in respecting and submitting to
God's authority is eternal life And the other reason is simply
this. I believe that we mistakenly think often that learning things
is a series of, okay, I've learned that, now let's go on and learn
something else. You know, let's learn other things. I've already
learned those things, let's learn other things. The scripture says you
don't know anything like you should know it. It's not just,
okay, I've got that, now let's go on. No, it's never that way. Not in reality. It's a lifetime,
continual process. You've already forgotten what
you learned last Sunday. And I've, for the most part,
forgotten what I preached to you. And I'm not just talking
about we don't remember the text or the title of it anymore. We've
forgotten all of it. How long would it take you to
forget who God is if you didn't hear from God? Not that he takes
faith away, but I tell you this, he's not gonna take his word
away either if he's giving you faith in Christ. You've forgotten how important
it is, haven't you? Until you hear it again. Learning
is a reminding over and over. That's why Simon Peter said in
first, in 2 Peter 1 10, wherefore the rather brethren give diligence
to make your calling and election sure, for if you do these things,
you shall never fall. For so an entrant shall be ministered
unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord
and Savior, Jesus Christ, so you see what's at stake. It's
whether you're gonna be with God or not and that's when he
says wherefore I will not be negligent To put you always in
remembrance of these things though. You know them If I asked you
do you know that you'd say yes, and I might ask you a question
you probably could answer it, right? But it's about awareness. It's
about what's going on in here, isn't it? Though you know them and be established
in the present truth, yea, I think it meet as long as I'm in this
tabernacle to serve you up by putting you in remembrance, knowing
that shortly I must put off this, my tabernacle, even as our Lord
Jesus Christ has showed me. And moreover, I will endeavor
that you may be able after my deceased to have these things
always in remembrance. It's vital. Now, think about this with me
for a second, because I want us to understand this and not
reject it, because many are going to reject the teaching of God
in this, and it's simply for lack of understanding. When the
scripture says you hate your children for not disciplining
them, it doesn't mean that you don't have a natural love for
them. It doesn't mean that. It's not saying that. Just like
our text says, if you don't receive it, then you despise your own
soul. That doesn't mean you don't love
yourself. Every sinner loves himself. So let's understand what it does
mean. In the case of your children, it means you have become their
enemy. You may have a strong, natural love for them, but you've
set yourself up as the enemy of their soul, if you will not
discipline them. Whether you know it or not. And
in our text, talking about despising your own soul, it doesn't mean
you don't love yourself. Everybody loves themselves. But
you're your own worst enemy. If you hate the correction of
God. And look, in the home, as children, that's the correction
of God. That's God's way. We're to train up a child in
the way he should go, And the scripture says to children, obey
your parents in the Lord because it's right, not because you like
it, not because you agree with it, because it's right. And let's continue to think with
me along these lines. Now, hating your own soul doesn't
mean you hate yourself in the sense that you don't have any
self-esteem and things like that. there is a sense in which we
ought to hate ourselves, right? When Job saw the Lord, he said,
I abhor myself. I hate my sinful flesh, my sinful
nature, what I am. But hating correction doesn't
mean that you don't hate it. Now think with me for a second.
Hating yourself doesn't mean that you don't love yourself.
And loving correction doesn't mean that you don't hate correction.
No correction is pleasant. So we need to understand in what
sense we are to hate it and to love it. Listen to Proverbs 12.1. There is a sense in which we
are to love discipline. Whoso loveth instruction, same
word, discipline from our text, loveth knowledge, that he that hateth reproof is
brutish. Now, it's important again that
we understand, everybody hates to be rebuked. Nobody enjoys
that. Try it out on somebody sometime
and see if they like it, young or old. When you withstand somebody and
say, look, not going to happen that way.
They're not going to like it. Nobody likes a spanking and nobody
likes somebody to tell them that they're wrong. Not by nature
anyway, but by God's grace. We love the reproof of God. We love his correction. We love his discipline, don't
we? I can tell you how rotten you
are, that you have never done nothing good and you're not ever
going to. And you'll say, amen, won't you? Because you know it's
true. I'm the same way. It's the truth. The Lord can
say to us, it would be wrong. It wouldn't even be the right
thing to do for me to bless you. And we'll say, Lord, that's the
truth. That's the truth. But you know why discipline is given and received?
Ever. Because nobody likes it. Everybody
by nature will rebel against it. We're wild asses cults, the
scripture says, by nature. And I guarantee you're not going
to sit there and whisper in his ear that wild donkey and get
him to do what you want him to do. Not going to happen that
way. But you know why discipline is
given properly and received properly? Love. The key was right there
where we read it. If you don't discipline, you
hate. You hate your son. You just do it. You don't hate
him, and there's a sense in which you love him, but you're becoming
their enemy. And I guarantee you, if somebody
takes it from you, it's because they love you and they love you
now. And it results in life. It's
life. But this person that our text
says dwelleth among the wise, you see, that's a person that
God has birthed again. You must be born again in order
to receive. correction of God And by God's grace we love to
be chastised by him The scripture says when he chastises us and
think about it now You know people say well, you know, I don't listen
for my children that way I have them stand in the corner, you
know when they do something bad It's not, you're not supposed
to hurt them. Let me ask you this, when God corrects you, does it
hurt? A lot worse than a spanking,
doesn't it? It's a lot worse than a spanking. And it's pretty clear the way
the Lord has taught you to do it. There's no timeouts in the
scripture. There's no public shaming. The ones that ought
to be ashamed of themselves is the parents in that situation. Nobody's business it's between
you and your children But it says listen to this in
2nd Timothy 314 I But continue thou, actually I
want you to turn there with me, but first let me remind you of
this passage of scripture. I forget where it is exactly,
but you can look it up later where it says, if the Lord didn't
discipline you, it would be because you're not his children. He dealeth
with you as with sons. When he afflicts, when he corrects,
when he disciplines his children, and it's the same way. with parents
and children in this life, but look at 2 Timothy 3.14. 2 Timothy 3.14, but continue thou
in the things which thou hast learned and has been assured
of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them. That has something
to do with it, doesn't it? If somebody that doesn't care
anything about me, do not farm out the discipline of your children
to people that don't give a hoot about them. It's you, it's on you as a parent,
isn't it? Don't expect, you know, and there's
got to be discipline in school, I get that. There has to be consequences
for things that happen when you're not there, but it's on you ultimately,
isn't it? It's not their job. It's yours. And that's as it should be. Somebody
that loves them needs to do that. Course that's the Lord ultimately
he gave if you got good parents. That's the Lord. He's to be praised
for that But That from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures
Which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith,
which is in Christ Jesus you see why it's important that your
word to your children If you say something to them, you've
got to follow through on it because you're also teaching them, I
hope, the scriptures. And if one thing don't mean anything,
what makes you think the other thing's going to mean something
to them? It's got to be what you say is gold. It's to be relied upon. It's to be trusted. So don't say you're going to
do something and then not do it and not follow through on it. From a child thou hast known
the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation
through faith. I understand, and the Scriptures
are clear, you can be well-disciplined as a child and never have faith
in Christ, I understand that. But you see, God uses means. And in order to believe, you're
gonna have to hear. And there's a submission that
takes place. And the Lord uses means from
the very start when you're just a little bitty. He'll use that
now. But they make you wise unto salvation
through faith which is in Christ Jesus. You're going to have to
believe on Christ. We understand that. All scripture is given
by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine. In other
words, if the Lord says spank your children, That's good doctrine
too, isn't it? All scripture. If the Lord says
his son died on Calvary and he saved everybody he died for,
that's good doctrine. If he says don't spare the rot,
that's good doctrine too, wouldn't you say? Good teaching. All scripture. It's profitable
for reproof. You may not think it's that way,
doesn't matter. What I think or what you think I'm not here
to tell you what I think this morning If that's all it is your
opinion just as good as mine. It's not about what I think It's
about what God says For correction we all need that
we needed it when we were a baby, and we need it this morning Let the man of God may be mature
perfect or mature thoroughly furnished unto all good works And this scripture came to my
mind because this has to do with teaching. And I don't know why
this came to my mind, but I just want to make, I'm past my time,
but Philippians 3.1, let me just read it. Finally, my brethren
rejoice in the Lord. And he said this, to write, or
we could say, to say the same things to you. To me, indeed,
is not grievous. You ever get tired of just saying,
you know, the same things over and over to your kids You get tired of trying to teach
them the same things over and over. Maybe you're not teaching
them right. If you have to say it for four years, I don't think
you said it right. The thing about, you know what
I'm talking about, don't you? But look. It's not grievous to
teach them as much as it takes to do what you have to do to
make sure they understand that there's accountability, there's
authority that's to be submitted to. Why is it not grievous? You might say, boy, it is kind
of grievous. But it's not because you love them. If you don't love
them, I guarantee it's going to be grievous. But it's not
because you love them. And don't ever let them think
it's grievous. Don't let your children think they're a burden
to you. You discipline them because you
love them with all your heart. That's why you do it. Not because
you're mad at them. That's not it. That cannot be
it. He said, to write the same things
to you, to me, indeed, is not grievous, and may it never be.
But for you, it's safe. You remember that scripture?
It's safe. It's good, it's right, it's safe. It's safe to do what
God says. And may he bless his word in spite
of me this morning. Amen.