Let's read this together, 1 Peter
chapter 3. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection
to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also
may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives,
while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. whose adorning, let it not be
that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold,
or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man
of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament
of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great
price. For after this manner, in the
old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves,
being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed
Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are, as long as
ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise,
ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto
the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of
the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered." every earthly office of authority
that God has created, and every earthly office that's not an
office of authority, that God's created, that he set up on this
earth, has its glory from God in Christ. It's to show us the
glory of God in the salvation of his people. Now today is Mother's
Day and I didn't really plan to preach from this. This is
where we were coming to. This is where we are, but it's
good today when we're thinking about our mothers to consider
these earthly offices and the order in which God has established
them in the earth. The institution of the family,
particularly a husband and a wife, is one of the most beautiful
and simple ways that God has communicated to the believer
of how that we have this union and this oneness together with
Christ, our husband, in the church of God. It's on our lips when
we pray. It's in our songs when we sing.
It's in our communication with each other, how we address each
other. And this is our hope. God is our father, the son of
God, his son. Christ Jesus is the faithful
son over his own house, whose house we are, if we hold fast
to this confidence we have until the end. And Christ is the husband
of the church. And the church is his bride,
and each member in particular, elect child of God, make up this
bride of Christ. And it's through the mother,
through the church, that his children are born. Through the
preaching of the gospel, born of the spirit of God, of the
incorruptible seed. And we call each other brothers
and sisters, God's church, is family. Being in the church of
God is being in the family of God. Ephesians 5.22. Let's read
that before we go further. Ephesians 5.22. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the
head of the wife. Even as, now listen, this is
where it came from. This is why God ordained this
institution of husband and wife. Even as Christ is the head of
the Church, and He is the Savior of the body, therefore as the
Church is subject unto Christ, submitted to Christ, in subjection
to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. That he might sanctify and cleanse
it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present
it to himself, a glorious church, glorified, not having spot or
wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without
blemish. This is what Christ accomplished,
and has accomplished. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord
the church. For we are members of his body. We're the bride. You who believe
have been called by his grace. We're the body of his flesh and
of his bones. Now this is the cause, listen.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall
be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery. But look at what Paul's speaking
about. I speak concerning Christ and
the church. One. bone of his bone, flesh
of his flesh. Nevertheless, let every one of
you, in particular, so love his wife even as himself. And the wife see that she reverence
her husband. Now, let's go back to 1 Peter
3. Now, most of our text today is using the wife and speaking
primarily of the wife here. But the principle that is being
set forth here in this passage is to both the husband and the
wife. Look at verse one. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection
to your own husbands. Look down at verse seven. Likewise,
ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving
honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel as being heirs
together of the grace of life. And this last phrase right here
is the key to this whole passage. That your prayers be not hindered. Now, here's what I want you to
see. The text is assuming here that
we have a spouse who is disobedient to the Word of God. Look there
in verse 1. If any obey not the Word. Alright,
if any obey not the Word. Now this could be said of the
husband. It's said here of the husband,
but it could be said of the husband or of the wife. It could be said
of one who is not obeying the word and that they're an unbeliever,
or it could be said of one who is a believer who's not obedient
to the Lord. But our prayer to God, when this
is the case, our prayer to God, now listen, this applies to everybody
who is a believer, who is a spouse, a husband or a wife. When our
prayer to God is that God might bring our spouse to submission
to Christ in the heart. When that's our prayer, then if that's our prayer, if
that's our sincere desire of our heart, then let's reverence
Christ as our husband, by fulfilling the responsibility that he's,
in the office he's put us in, whether we're the husband or
the wife. God may honor that honor of him,
such an honor of him. But this is certain. If we render
evil for evil, if we render railing for railing, we're going to do
nothing but hinder our spouse. And that which we're desiring
with our heart and praying to God for in the heart is going
to be it's going to be hindered. Everything about it's going to
be hindered. And it won't be an honor to our heavenly husband. This is so in the verse begins
here. Likewise, and this is what we've
been seeing all through our study here. This is the case, whether
we're the king or whether we're under the king. This is the case,
whether we're, whether we're in a position of master, such
as somebody in authority in the workplace, or whether we have
somebody in authority over us. And this is the case of a husband
and a wife. I know that when you think of
a family, that there's some who, the family situation's a bad
situation. There's some who believe, and
their spouse doesn't believe. There's some who who have children
who don't believe. There's some children who have
parents who don't believe, or who are born orphans. There's
some spouses who are widows. And yet all of these things in
Scripture the Lord uses to glorify His faithfulness in saving His
people. And all of those things are the
result of whatever man and woman is by nature, as we're born the
first time in this world, which is just sin. what we still are
as believers in the flesh. And yet God uses those things
throughout the scripture to show us his faithfulness. So he says here now, let's look
at that. I want you to get that. Now,
did you get that? Let me say it again. If any obey
not the word, whether it's a husband or a wife, this is our prayer
that God will bring them into submission, that he will correct
them in the heart. That's our prayer. And God will
honor those who honor him. If he does so, if he's pleasing
to do so, he will do so by his grace and he'll do so effectually.
But if we are offended and we render railing for railing, evil
for evil, that's going to hinder the very desire we're praying
for. Now, let's see this. Likewise, you wives, be in subjection
to your own husbands. Now it doesn't say here, let
the husband rule. That's not the spirit we're talking
about. Let the husband rule. Does the bride of Christ, do
we as believers let Christ rule? He rules, doesn't he? We brought
the submission to him. We heart submission to him. We
desire for him to rule. We want him to rule. We want
him to have the glory of ruling. So truly respect the husband
because the office God's put the husband in. Your husband
glorifies Christ our husband. And this is not speaking of exceptions.
It's not talking about extremes. If you're a wife and you've got
children, And your husband's abusing you, he's abusing your
wife, he's trying to separate you from Christ, he's trying
to keep you from God's people, whatever he's doing. If he's
abusing you, get out of it. Get your children and you to
safety somewhere. But this is talking about a husband
and a wife in the normal relationship of a husband and a wife. Now,
the reason for this is for the glory of God, is for the good
of the spouse. For the glory of Christ our husband
and for the good of the spouse. Peter's using the wife here primarily
as the illustration. And I think primarily because
we are the bride of Christ. The church is the bride of Christ.
And we need to hear this ourselves as it applies to us in submission
to Christ, the husband. But we also need to hear it as
it applies here as being in submission to the earthly husband. And likewise,
the husband, it applies to him in this regard as he lays down
his life. It doesn't matter if the spouse
is obedient or not. We lay down our life. Don't just
throw up the hands and say, well, I've tried to lay down my life,
I've tried to love him, I've tried... No. Where were we? Where were we when Christ came
and laid down his life for his bride? We weren't obeying him,
were we? We were dead in trespasses and
in sins, but he came and laid down his life when we were yet
enemies in our minds by wicked words. This is the principle
we're talking about here. Verse one, here's the reason,
that if any obey not the word, They also without the word may
be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold
your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Same here is said of the husband,
that they may behold, be won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your chaste
conversation coupled with fear." Now, this is not suggesting at
all that a believer or a sinner is going to be saved, quickened
in the heart, called, regenerated by the Spirit of God, apart from
the truth of who Christ is, apart from the truth of who God is,
of how he saved sinners, of what Christ has accomplished. It's
not suggesting that at all. But whether you're a wife with
a husband who's not obedient to Christ, not in submission
to Christ, or whether you're a believing husband or a believing
husband who has a wife that may not be obeying the word. This
is certain. Neither is going to be won by
a war of words and a disrespect of that office God put them in. of that person themselves, where
they are, where God's put them. It's certainly not going to be
accomplished that way. The wife is to submit to her
husband, and the husband is to give himself for the wife. What's
grace? Grace is doing it freely. Grace is doing it without constraint. Grace is doing it not because
there's something in the object of the one on whom the affection
is set. It's done because we love Him. It's done freely. That's how
God saved His people. That's how God saves Yeshua,
by His grace, freely. Everything we say, everything,
if we do that, everything we say may be scriptural. It may
be accurate. It may be all truthful. But when
the wife is usurping authority over the husband, or the husband is laying down
and just not honoring his wife, not giving honor to his wife.
Either way, whichever is the case, it's discrediting our professed
spiritual union with Christ. Either way. The same principle
applies, brethren. It holds here true with a husband
to his wife, with servants and masters, with citizens and governors,
with children and parents, so on. The legalist, the Pharisee, does
something by force. We're not going to do anything
by force. We're not going to do anything
by force. The ungodly way of man is to do something by the
power and the might of the flesh. God's not gonna give a new heart
that way. He's not gonna correct from error
that way. He's not gonna, I'm talking about
true submission, true heart, bringing us to that obedience
where we behold God in His glory. We behold Christ magnified and
lifted up before us so that we behold the glory of God in His
face. It's not gonna be done by our power and our might. It's
just not gonna be done that way. God's the only one who's gonna
give a new heart. He's the only one that will correct.
We saw this throughout the book of James, throughout the letter
of James. James said, be not many masters. For then, what
happens? We're in the greater fault, we're
in the greater condemnation. But righteousness, Truth, brethren,
fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
That's how it's gonna be done. Don't we know this? We know this
clearly. Don't we? When's the last time
that your wife did something, said something,
anything that you, that was just, it was, it was, It was not in
accordance with the work. It was disobedience, just out
and out. And you jumped on her and said
something. It was harsh with her. When did
that work? When did that work? And likewise,
the wives. When did that work with your
husband? I saw we were going to the... firehouse the other
night and over here on the one of the roads we go through there
was a sign and Melinda was laughing about it because it said, what
did it say? It said the narrow road was what
the sign said and somebody made a little sticker there and put
in there and it said narrow is the road and I thought you know,
of the scripture. Narrow is the way, whatever.
But you've seen on these bridges, these overpasses, where, what
is that? Somebody writes on all the overpasses that trust Jesus
or something like that, you know. You go in sometimes in a restroom,
a public restroom, you'll see something written on the wall,
scripture or something written on the wall or something like
that. Well, that's true. And what it says is true. But
desecrating public property desecrates The one who discredits the one
who put it there, right? We understand that, right? So
this is the principle here, of a husband and a wife. Conduct which reverences our
earthly husband, your earthly husband, gives honor to Christ
the husband. And conduct which is becoming
Wherein our husband is laying down his life for his bride,
giving himself for his bride, in spite, without regard to whether
she's being submissive to him. That's honoring to Christ our
husband. It's honoring to Christ our husband.
And that's the purpose of this thing, is that he receive all
the glory. It doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't,
it's not about us. It's not about our feelings or
our thoughts of how we ought to be treated. It's about us
trusting him. God is the God of my wife, and
God's the God of your husband. We trust him, we believe him.
Then we try to live as peaceably as we can with each other. Try
to be as honoring as we can in these offices in which he's put
us, praying to him, beseeching him, Lord, help. Lord, Give that
heart submission. Now, this inward heart, this
true spiritual inward heart that desires this, that wants this,
that longs for Christ to be honored, for God to receive the glory. Honoring God, it's honoring to
God, true spirit from the heart, Christ our hope. This is true
beauty, and this is before God of great price. Look at verse
3. Whose adorning, let it not be
that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold,
or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man
of the heart, and that which is not corruptible, even the
ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight
of God of great price. We understand the spirit of this
exhortation, the spirit of what he's saying here. It doesn't
forbid wearing jewelry. It doesn't forbid wearing makeup.
That's relative. It is relative. It's relative
from age to age. It's relative from society to
society, from culture to culture. The Mennonite thinks the Pentecostal
is dressed like a harlot. And the Pentecostal thinks the
Methodist is dressed like a harlot. You see what I'm saying? So on
and so on. That's relative. And God doesn't say how much
is too much or how little is enough. He doesn't say that.
If he did, you know what we'd do? The natural man, the heart,
the flesh of man would obey it in the letter and think by that
that he'd put on this inward humility and this adornment of
the Spirit. And you know what that would
be? It would be nothing more than more outward fake jewelry. That's all it would be. That's
all it would be. You could make yourself so plain
that you look like a mud fence on a rainy day. But that is not
gonna be, that doesn't mean anything that's going on in the heart.
It doesn't mean that there's anything that's happened in the
heart. The key here is the heart, it's spiritual adornment, a gentle
and a quiet spirit. A believing woman shouldn't be
concerned about all that outward adornment, that's so. But the inward beauty, that's
what we're concerned about, the inward beauty, the godly character,
the godly attitude, the godly What he's created, that's what
we're talking about here. And that's the beauty of the
heart. That's the beauty that Christ created, that the Spirit
of God creates. The hidden man of the heart is
not corruptible. It's not corruptible. It's of
God. It's born of His Spirit. It's
of God. It's incorruptible. It can't
be corrupted. It's incorruptible. It's not
like jewelry, outward adornment, that's all man-made, isn't it? It's all man-made. This one,
this creating is the creation of God. It's far better, isn't
it, to be known by this inward beauty, this spiritual adornment. Far better to be known by this
than to be known by that outward adornment, because that outward
adornment is going to fade, it's going to perish, because that
which is of the flesh is of the flesh. Look over at Luke 16,
15. Isn't this so of... This is what the Lord said, Luke
16, 15. He was speaking to the Pharisees.
He said, ye are they which justify yourselves before men, but God
knoweth your hearts, for that which is highly esteemed among
men is an abomination in the sight of God. Look over at Matthew chapter
23, verse 25. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees,
hypocrites, for you may clean the outside of the cup and of
the platter, but within they're full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse
first that which is within the cup and the platter, that the
outside of them may be clean also." If there's this inward
submission to Christ, created of God, you know what will happen? When that husband, who is a believing
husband, when he finds himself not loving his wife, not giving
honor to her, not laying down his life for her, when he sees
what he's doing, when he beholds he is walking contrary to everything
in this world, beautifying and edifying and adorning the doctrine
of God his savior. You know what he's going to do?
It's going to affect the outside. But you know what can't happen?
You know what never happens? That will never work from the
outside in. It just doesn't. You can put on that outward and
do it all you want to, but it's not going to cleanse the inside.
It's not going to cleanse the inside. But that which is cleansed
within, it'll be subdued, that outward will be subdued. Look
here, woe unto you, verse 27, woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees,
if great for you, like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear
beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones and
all uncleanliness. Even so, ye also outwardly appear
righteous unto men, but within you're full of hypocrisy and
iniquity. God looks on the heart, he knows
the heart. This is a heart matter, it's
a heart matter. All right, now look in verse
five, back in our text, 1 Peter 3, 5. For after this manner, for after this manner, look at that right there in verse
four though, just notice that. It says there that meek and quiet
spirit in the sight of God is of great price. The same thing
can be said down here in verse 7. The husbands dwell with them
according to knowledge, give honor unto the wife as unto the
weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life.
That same spirit God's given to the faithful husband, that's
of great price in the sight of God. It's of God, it's His, adorning. But you know, you see here with
this juxtaposition of the outward adornment, that gold and those
things that perish. Peter uses this throughout this
epistle. That gold, like gold tried in
the fire, you know, we're not redeemed with corruptible things
as silver and gold, but with the precious blood of Christ.
These things he puts them one against another throughout. That
which is highly esteemed among men are those outward adornments. But that which is highly esteemed
of God is that inward spirit He's given, created. All right,
now, verse 5. For after this manner, in the
old time, the holy women, who also trusted in God, adorned
themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands, even as
Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. whose daughters you
are, as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement. I want to read, or you can turn
here with me, to Titus 2, 3. This is a good word right here concerning the wives and the
mothers. Titus 2, chapter 3. Titus 2, 3. He says here, the
aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness,
holy women, women who are set apart by God, truly chosen, sanctified,
redeemed by the precious blood of Christ, not false accusers,
not given to much wine, teachers of good things, that they may
teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands. And here's the key. This is that
the word of God be not blasphemy. Sarah went with Abraham wherever
he went. She went with him, she did the
things he asked her to do, and she's the example set before
us here for the woman. This is peace in the heart of
God, with God. This is where peace is. It's
not trying to, you know, you could walk like the world walks
and try to be what the world calls equal for women and try
to do all of those things. and you won't have any peace
in your heart. I have some dealings right now with a woman, nobody
here knows her, but I have some dealings with a woman right now
who, this woman professes, claims,
professes herself to not believe anything concerning God at all. This woman is at enmity against
God so much, she hates being a woman. She hates being a woman. She wants in every way to be
a man. That's right. And there's no
peace there. No peace at all there. All right,
now look here next at this next verse in our text. Now we come
to the husband. Same principle here in everything
that we just saw. But he says here, verse seven,
likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge,
giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, as being
heirs together of the grace of life. Now, wives consider this
and husbands consider this too. Sarah is given as the example
for the wife. Christ is given as our example. Husbands, love your wives even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that
he might sanctify it, cleanse it by the washing of water by
the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church,
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing. That's what we're
talking about here when it comes to the husband. It says here,
dwell with the wives according to knowledge. This is the knowledge. Christ is the wisdom. Dwell with
them according to how Christ has made you to dwell with Him. How has He done it? Has He done
it by governing us by grace or by the law? Has He done it in
love or has He done it with a rod? How has He done it? How has he
done it? Give honor to the wife. Honor
to the wife. Christ gives, God Almighty gives
great honor. I always like to look at this
first in our relationship, the church and the bride. Christ
the husband and the church. He gives great honor to the church. Believer needs, we need to assemble
ourselves together With the church, together, we need that like a
child needs their mother. This is a great honor that God's
bestowed upon his bride. And it's a great honor God's
bestowed upon the wife. Whether she's a believing wife
or not. If she's a believing wife and
she's yet being being disobedient to the Word of God, that doesn't
change the honor God's given the wife. He made her, if He's
given her children, He's made her a mother. That scripture,
I put in the bulletin in Psalms, it says He makes the barren woman
to be a keeper of the house, to be a keeper of one who has
a joyful mother of children. You think of how many times in
Scripture, how many times throughout Scripture you see Jacob beseeching the Lord for
Rebecca. You see, who was it that was
married to Elizabeth? I forget now. John's the Baptist's father. Anyway, he beseeched him for
her. Christ is the husband who made
intercession for his bride. And he, you remember when the
church was sitting there and that 120, you know, after the
Lord had gathered them together in the early church, and he told
them, he said, stay here. They didn't know what the husband
was doing. They didn't have any idea what he was doing. But he
says, he says, stay here. He is the one who gets the glory
for making them bring forth an abundance on the day of Pentecost.
He gets the glory for that. And this is a great honor he's
given. to his church, it's through his
church because of what he's done for her, because of how he's
called her, because of how he's assembled her, because of how
he's laid down his life for her, because of how he has purged
her, because of how he's washed her, because of how he shed his
blood for her. This is how she's made a glorious
church without spot and without wrinkle. And when we continue
to look away, and we continue to disobey Him, and we continue
in our unbelief, and we walk after the flesh, and we regard
these things, He keeps on. He keeps on. He cleanseth us
from all our sin. He continues to draw us. He continues to keep us. And
so it is that He says here to us, husband, give honor to her. Give honor to her. Treat her
as the weaker vessel, with tenderness, with gentleness, with kindness.
Eve was first in the transgression. This is God's order of things,
because he's teaching us something about me and you by nature, me
and you in the flesh, whether we're a male or a female. He's
teaching us here, whether we have a husband or or we don't,
whether we have a wife or we don't. He's teaching us here
what we are. We, by nature, are the weaker
vessel. And he's made it so that truly,
the woman is the weaker vessel. And he says, in your subjection,
you shall be unto the man, and he shall rule over you. And he'll
keep you, and he'll protect you, and he'll lead you, and he'll
guide you, because this is glorifying a picture of Christ from the
beginning. If any obey not the word, wives
submit and husbands lay down our lives for them. Why? That
your prayers be not hindered. That your prayers be not hindered.
What do we want from one another? If it's our children, we want
our children to know the Lord. We want our children to be called
by His grace, to walk after Him, to follow after Him. Is God gonna
honor that? Is He gonna, is He gonna, honor
those petitions we make if we just completely ignore the fact
that he's called his church and used his church to be the mother
of his children and we forsake the assembling together? You
think he's going to honor our petitions for him if we dishonor
the order of things that he set forth? If he does, he's going
to do it irrespective of us, that's for sure. But we'll greatly
hinder that walkway. We'll greatly hinder that. What
about all of these relationships? Do these things, submit to him
and walk after him with this quiet spirit and this quiet heart
because, number one, It's of great price
with God. It's precious to Him. It's glorifying
to Him because it glorifies God the Father, God the Son, God
the Holy Spirit. It glorifies Christ the Husband.
It shows the relationship He's created and why He's created.
And secondly, because it's our desire. It's our chief aim as
believers. It's not just to clothe our children. It's not just to clothe our wives.
It's not just to say and appear outwardly to be submitting to
our husband. It's not just for some outward
adornment of these things. It's truly for the glory of God
and the edification of that one he's given to us as his gift.
And so that's the exhortation here. All right, let's.