Morning. Okay, our text this
morning will be in Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5, and we'll be
looking at verses 22 through 32. And this morning we'll be
speaking about marriage. As many of you are aware, we
have a couple here among us that is getting married this July,
and since that's going to be a very busy day, I doubt they're
going to hear very much of what's being said when they're standing
there at the altar because there's just a lot going on that day.
I can't say that I remember anything when I was married if I'm being
honest. So that message as well will
be very abbreviated. It'll be a short message. So,
today I just wanted to go into the text and preach it more thoroughly
here, here and now, because I won't have the time to preach it then. We won't be going this long here,
but this will be a full message and it will glorify, I pray,
the Lord Jesus Christ in showing that marriage is of the Lord. And so marriage is a blessed
thing, and it's actually one of the most important things
that we could ever do. So it is serious. It is very
serious. If you're not married and contemplating
marriage, it's a very serious, serious matter. All right. Our
title is Christ First in Marriage. Christ First in Marriage. And so we'll look first at marriage,
that it's of God. Marriage is of the Lord. And then we'll see We'll take
some time and look at the responsibility of the wife to her husband, and
then we'll look at the responsibility of the husband to his wife. And even if you're not contemplating
marriage or don't think you're getting married, you'll see that
there's still a blessing in understanding marriage because it's a sweet
picture of Christ and His Bride, Christ and His Church. It's a
sweet picture and we who believe are all the Bride of Christ. We who believe are His Church
and are His Bride and so there's a sweet message in there for
us. Alright, now what many people
don't consider about marriage is that marriage is of God. Marriage is of the Lord. God
gave marriage, the institution of marriage, to men and women. It's for their good. It's for
their protection and good. Marriage is actually, is good
for men and for women, but it's given because it pictures Christ
and his church. That's where it begins. Christ
is the first of all things and Christ is foremost. And so everything
we have in life, it's not that we have pictures and say, oh,
that pictures some aspect of the gospel. Isn't that nice?
No, it's given to us and it works that way because it pictures
Christ and salvation in some way, right? Whether you're gardening
or raising cattle or or sheep, you see these pictures that actually
are a truth concerning salvation and concerning Christ. And that's
what marriage is, it pictures Christ and his love for his bride
and what he's done for her. So let's begin looking at Ephesians
5, but let's begin in verses 30 through 32, the end of our
text there. And Paul writes, under the inspiration
of the Holy Spirit, he writes, for we, God's church, are members
of Christ's body, of his flesh and of his bones. These are spiritual
words, they have spiritual meaning. And he says in verse 31, for
this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall
be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh. One flesh. They are one flesh
together. And this is a great mystery,
Paul says, under the inspiration of the Spirit. It's a great mystery,
but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Christ and the
Church. And so, when a man takes a woman
as his bride, when they marry, it's picturing when Christ united
himself to his bride. When he sacrificed and laid down
his life for his bride, the Church, That's what's being pictured.
That man is joining himself to that woman to provide for her
and to be her husband and to love her and cherish her. and
nourisher, and it's a sweet picture because the Lord blesses his
church. He is the provider. He is wonderful in all that he
does to his bride. And so, Paul is quoting here
from Genesis. And that means that where he's
pulling these words from is all the way back in Genesis chapter
2. Why don't you turn there, in Genesis 2, and we'll look
at verse 21. Because at this time, God had
created Adam, who was just a man, and he created the animals. And
the animals were there, and of all the animals, there was no
helpmate for man. And so God determined it wasn't
good for man. He was lonely and he needed to
have a helpmate. It was good for him to have someone
to be with him that he could fellowship with and know. And
so it says that the Lord, in verse 21, the Lord God caused
a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept. And he took one
of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof. and the
rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman and
brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone
of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because
she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his
father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they
shall be one flesh." One flesh. So we see from the very beginning
of creation this union that God instituted between a man and
a woman, because it pictures Christ and his church. It's a
union, a husband and a wife pictures Christ and the church. All right,
so what did Christ do to make his bride, his people, to become
his bride. What did he do for them? Well,
we actually go back further even than the garden. We go back into
eternity past, and there what we see is election. That God chose a people. God chose a people for his son. It says, turn over to Ephesians
1-4. Ephesians 1-4. It says there
that, according to the scriptures, that it's according as God hath
chosen us in Christ before the foundation of the world. That
means before God created the garden, God chose a people for
his son. And here's why, that we should
be holy and without blame before him in love, so that When we
read in Genesis that God formed woman and brought her to the
man, what we see from that is that God chose this bride for
Adam. God provided this woman for Adam
to be one with Adam. And it's according that we see
that God also had chosen his bride, the church, in Christ
before the foundation of the world. And so the scriptures
teach us that we love him because he first loved us. This is all
for Christ. It pictures Christ and Christ's
love for his church. And he says in Hosea 2, 19 and
20, Christ our husband tells the church, he says, I will betroth
thee unto me. I am engaging you to be married
to you. Yea, I will betroth thee unto
me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving kindness, and in
mercies. I will even betroth thee unto
me in faithfulness, and thou shalt know the Lord." So the
Lord has engaged us that we might know Him, and know the truth,
and know our God, and be one in Christ before our God, accepted
of God. And we see this truth in marriages
today. Even in marriages where we don't,
where the parents aren't choosing out a spouse for their child,
we still see it because, you know, on July 13th, 2019, when
Jacob shows up there, he knows exactly whom he is marrying. He knows exactly whom he's marrying.
And Val, she knows exactly whom she's marrying. We see that.
that you know who you're marrying. It's not a random guest. We're
not spinning a wheel and just hoping that somebody will show
up at the altar with you. You know who you're going to
marry. And so Jacob, he chose Valerie. Of all the women, Jacob loves
Valerie. He's set his heart on Valerie
and he wants to marry her and he's asked her to marry him and
she's accepted his proposal in marriage and so he'll marry her
and he'll love her, by the grace of God, he'll love her as he
ought to love her. Alright, now when Christ came,
He redeemed His people. He shed His blood. That's picturing
for us. What we see in that is that Christ
knows whom He came to this earth. When He took upon Him flesh,
He knows exactly who He's laying down His life for. It's not a
random guess. He's not hoping somebody will
just show up and believe on Him after He did this work. He's
laying, He laid down His life, shed His blood for His people
to put away their sins. Every sin of his people was laid
upon him and he paid that price faithfully. In faithfulness,
he did it to honor his father and to save his bride, to make
her one with him. He married her, right? So all
the church sinned in Adam. The reason why Christ did this
is because we all are sinners. We all cannot save ourselves. And so Christ came, willingly,
bearing flesh upon him, to lay down his life for his bride,
to make us holy and accepted and righteous before God. That's
as our brother was reading earlier when he was reading from Romans
10 in verse 3 where it speaks of those that don't believe on
Christ, right? And he said that they being ignorant
of God's righteousness and going about to establish their own
righteousness have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness
of God. And so When we believe Christ
and trust Christ and trust Him to save us, we're submitting
to the righteousness of God. It's a picture that we believe
God and are submitting to Him, and so He does this work. Now,
concerning the fact that we're sinners and that we need this,
what we see is that God isn't looking to us to save ourselves.
God isn't looking to us to work a righteousness for ourselves.
But it says in Romans 3 verse 21, But now the righteousness
of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and
the prophets, even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus
Christ unto all and upon all them that believe. For there
is no difference for all that sin to come short of the glory
of God. Every one of us here is a sinner. Every one of us here is a sinner
in need of the grace of God, and none of us here can save
ourselves. And so we read being justified
freely by His grace. apart from our own works, but
it's through the redemption, through the blood redemption,
through Jesus Christ, through Christ Jesus, being justified
freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ
Jesus, whom God has set forth to be a propitiation through
faith in His blood. God sent His Son, to be the means
of our forgiveness, that we are forgiven of God because of what
Jesus Christ did there on that cross in making us righteous,
putting away our sin forever, to declare His righteousness
for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance
of God. So it's Christ that makes his
people acceptable to God his Father. It's by his righteous
work apart from many works that we do ourselves. Now because
Christ did this work, because he did it, He takes us unto himself. We are one with Christ now. That's what the scriptures teach.
When he was praying as our high priest in John 17, 21, he prayed,
saying, that they all may be one, as thou, Father, art in
me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us. So now being married to Christ,
we are one with Christ and one with the Father. That's a mystery
I don't even fully understand, but that's the word of God there. So we understand that through
Christ, what the scriptures teach us is that through Christ we're
brought into the family of God. We're brought into that family
of God. He says in Ephesians 1, verses
5 and 6, the Holy Spirit words it this way to us. having predestinated
us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according
to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of the glory of
his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved."
Alright, so our acceptance is of Christ, and we see that also
pictured in marriage. Our acceptance into the family
is through the spouse that we're marrying. So that you could see
it, Jacob is accepted into the Moore family because of his marriage
to Valerie. Valerie is accepted into the
Johnson family because of her marriage to Jacob. If they weren't
married to each other, they wouldn't be part of the family. But because
of that union, because of that wedding, we're brought into the
family of our spouse. And that's how it is for the
Bride of Christ. We are brought in, we are accepted
of God because of Christ. And we see that picture in marriages
today. So it's Christ's work that has
made his bride one with him and brought him into the family of
God. And because we're of his family,
he gives us his spirit, he gives us all the blessings and the
riches, that are His, and pours out these spiritual blessings
upon us, shares them with us, gives them to us, whereby we
are made alive, made a new creature, we are now one with Him, and
we know Him as the result of His work, and His Spirit, and
His power in us. It's what He does for us, alright? So, it's manifested there in
that wedded couple that we see in marriage, alright? Those individuals
that are not wedded to Christ, that don't know Christ, that
don't believe Christ and don't trust Christ, they'll scoff at
what I'm saying concerning marriage. They'll have a problem with what
I'm saying concerning marriage because they scoff at salvation
as well. And we know that salvation is
of the Lord. He's got to reveal it in our
hearts. He's the one who softens our hard hearts and brings us
to know these things and to believe these things. It's His gracious
work in us that enables us to believe. And until he does that
work, we don't We don't hear it, we don't believe it, or don't
want to believe it, but he's able to bring it home to the
heart. He's the one with the power to
do it, because we don't have the power. Alright, but if Christ
reveals himself to you through this gospel, and through the
life which he gives through his Holy Spirit, then you'll know
this to be so. You may not understand it now,
but you'll know it. You'll understand when the Lord
brings it home to your heart, and he'll help you to see the
beauty in it, and you'll have a much happier marriage for it.
If you hear what's being said, you will have a much happier
marriage for it. And if you uphold the responsibilities
that the Lord shows through his word of how a wife is to be to
her husband and how a husband is to be to his wife, your marriage
then will show forth the gospel of Christ. It'll show forth,
it's a picture of Christ and his bride if you honor one another
the way the Lord lays it out here. So let's look at that in
Ephesians 5.22, let's look now at the responsibility of the
wife. All right, verse 22 through 24.
He says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto
the Lord. As a believer submits themselves
to the Lord, that's how a wife is to submit herself to her husband. Here's why. For the husband is
the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. And he is the savior of the body.
Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives
be to their own husbands in everything." So, looking at the pattern of
the church and her submission to Christ, that's how a wife
is to pattern her submission to her husband. And so believers,
as members of Christ's church, they submit to Christ to provide
everything to them in salvation. Everything in salvation, they're
trusting Christ to provide all things for them. And that does
not mean that they don't bring anything into the family and
that they don't contribute. It's that she understands that
in the end there's only one decision maker in the end. He should take
into consideration what she says. She's going to certainly make
her mind known and he should seek to hear what she says on
certain things. There are just certain things
that you want to hear what your wife says. You're one. You're
one together and you want to you're providing for her, you
care for her, you love her, and you want to do what's right by
her. But there are times when there will be disagreements and
there can only be one final say. And the Lord says the head of
the house is the man, just as Christ is the head of the church,
and he does what's right for her. Now it's as unto the Lord,
as unto the Lord. All right, in 1 Corinthians 1.30
and 31, what we see here is that God makes Christ known to the
believer. He's the one doing all the work,
so he makes him known to us in all of salvation. In 1 Corinthians
1.30 it says, But of God, not even of our own wisdom, but of
God, of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto
us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption,
that according as it's written, he that glorieth, let him glory
in the Lord. And so because Christ has made
everything to the believer for their salvation, believers submit
to Christ's word. They submit to Christ's Word
as their only rule of faith and of practice. And so we submit
ourselves, trusting Christ to lead and keep us even through
difficult times, even through sickness and health, through
good times and bad, through rich or poor. We trust Christ. We're entrusting ourselves to
Christ, even when we don't necessarily understand exactly why things
are being done the way they're being done. And God says, so
let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Now here's
the application for the wife and for believers because we're
to submit to Christ. We all learn and know what submission
is. We all bow before Christ. Believers bow to their Lord and
their Savior and all will bow before Him in that day of judgment.
So believers never want to do anything to bring reproach upon
the name of Christ. And a wife who honors her husband
doesn't want to bring any reproach upon her husband. She's not looking
to do anything that would bring reproach upon the name of her
husband and her husband's family's name. And the wife should, when
you're in public and your husband gets into it, You should take
sides with your husband. You may not stand up and defend
him publicly, but don't stand up and then join in with the
rest of the chorus against him and raining down with him. The
time to speak to him is when you're in the car driving away
or when you're back at home. You can certainly say, you know,
maybe you shouldn't talk like that, you know, or maybe you
brought some of that on yourself. And you can certainly bring that
up to him and make him know that, but the time to do that isn't
in public when everybody else is standing around and ganging
up on him, even if he is in the wrong. Don't defend him, but
just don't get in on it and keep on him. So take sides with him
in that and seek the best to know why he's doing what he's
doing and speak speak in that manner to him. We see that even
in our jobs. When we have a boss, we don't
publicly stand against them when they're delivering something.
If you're close to your boss, if you have a right-hand person,
you wouldn't appreciate if you're in there in a meeting, telling
people how it is, and then they interject. You're a right-hand
person. You don't want to hear them publicly going at you there. it's fine for them to talk to
you afterwards, right? And say, you know, when you said that,
what do you mean by that? You know, there it's fine. You can
talk about it, but it's just a respectful thing not to publicly
get into it. And same thing, if the Lord blesses
a couple with children, then you want to teach your children.
As the wife, you want to teach your children to respect your
father, to obey your father. And when your father, you know,
when the dad leaves and goes off to work, you don't undermine
everything that he just said, right? You may not disagree.
I mean, you may not agree with everything, but then speak to
him. And that's why it's so important to know your spouse as best you
can before you get married because if you just don't agree, then
don't marry him. Like if it's going to be problems
and there's going to be, you know, just never going to do
it, then don't, then don't marry the person. All right? And then
the other thing is Even as a wife submits to her husband, that's
not to say he is perfect. A man is going to make mistakes. He's going to make a lot of mistakes,
and he's going to learn. Especially as he's younger, he
makes a lot of mistakes, and men do pretty pretty stupid things
and and things that don't make sense to women. They're built
a certain way for a reason and we can talk about it later. I
don't want to go off on that rabbit hole but I mean they're
they're built a certain way for a reason and so they'll make
mistakes and I would say you know even if you're in going
somewhere in a car and your husband you know you know that the destination
you're going to is to the right and he says no hon it's to the
left. Let him go to the left. You can say it's to the right.
You can say no, it's to the left. Say all right and go. Go to the
left. He'll learn soon enough that
he made a mistake and he'll realize maybe I don't have the best sense
of direction. Maybe I should, you know, stop and listen to
my wife once in a while. He'll learn that but give him
time to learn it. Let him work that out because
it'll help him to do it. And then another thing too is
that When he does something stupid and when he says the wrong thing
or does something to hurt you, don't immediately run off and
tell your mom or your dad or your sister or your best friends.
Don't immediately do that because what happens is, you know, you're
upset and you're angry and you tell people what he's done and
then what happens? You go home and he's there and
he says, son, I'm sorry. I was wrong for what I did, and
he makes up for it, and you're all sweet on each other and everything
moves on, but the people that you told, all they remember is,
oh there's that jerk. They don't know that you've made
up and how he's made up for you, so you don't want them to have
that impression. you know that that he's some
terrible person because we all do make mistakes and we all do
the wrong things we say things that we shouldn't say we do things
we shouldn't do and you know give people time to to to see
that and to know what they've what they've done wrong and and
let them you know come to you and work it out so And I know
it's hard, and today's society does not teach that, and they
teach against that. And so it goes against that,
but there is a real sweetness in it. You don't want your husband
to be knocked down and you don't want to tear him down and just
tell him everything he does is stupid and wrong and he shouldn't
do it. Let him work that out. Let him gain some confidence
and learn. It takes time, but let him learn.
and pray for him because the Lord will teach him. The Lord
will teach him to be a man and to guide his family and his household
right. So the way you wives esteem your
earthly husband, it reflects on the esteem you have for Christ. It reflects the esteem and the
love you have for Christ. Alright, now that's for the woman.
Let me speak of the responsibility of the husband. And it's about
three times longer than the wife because the husband really needs
to hear it and he is pretty thick in the head and so it's good
for us to hear and be reminded. Alright, so look at verse 25,
Ephesians 5, 25. Here we read, husbands, love
your wives. All right, how are we to love
our wives? Even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself
for it. He gave himself for his bride. All right, so he died, he laid
down his life to give life to his bride. Now let's look at
our Lord to get a better understanding of the husband's responsibility
in this. Well, the scriptures teach that
Christ is the head of the house. It says of Christ in Hebrews
3 verse 1, Wherefore, holy brethren, partakers of the heavenly calling,
consider the apostle and high priest of our profession Christ
Jesus. And we're to look to this one,
to Christ who rules his house and trust him, verse 2, who was
faithful to him that appointed him. So Christ was faithful.
And so you husbands, what you're doing, the leadership and the
headship that you have, You're to be faithful in that, not abusive
in that, not cowardly in that, and not seeking to do wrong,
and not in that sense like a lion in his pride where he's lazy
and doesn't do anything. You know, it's not in that sense,
but he's faithful. He's to be faithful in doing
what he's supposed to be doing. And it says, Christ has a son
over his own house, whose house are we. And so Christ, when you
look at Christ, in order to look at Christ, he was faithful in
what he did. He was tireless in what he did. And he pushed himself even through
weariness, even when things were hard, he pushed himself. You
know, like when you go to work and your boss says things to
you that you don't want to hear and they strike against your
pride, if you're the provider, if you're the one and you've
got a responsibility to take it, and to not just get angry
and quit and then put your family at risk and not providing for
them. You know, some men, they get angry and they throw things
and they throw a punch or they say something stupid or they
give an ultimatum and then they have to follow through on their
ultimatum. Don't do that. You're to be humble because you're
providing for your wife and if you have children, your children.
And don't do the things that man does when he's proud. Christ
was faithful. He didn't get angry when they
mistreated him and spit in his face and mistreated him. He faithfully
went to that cross and laid down his life for his bride. He could
have shown them that he's God and then none of us would be
saved. He could have taken himself from going to that cross and
then none of us would have been saved. So, we're to be faithful
in our duty. We're to be faithful like Christ.
Alright? How does Christ rule his house? Is it by law, or is it by love? Is it by law, or is it by love? Because Christ doesn't threaten
us, and it's not by law, but it is by love. Christ deals lovingly
with his bride. And many young men, you know,
they hear this. especially believers, they hear,
you know, they come home one day and things aren't the way
they thought it was, and you know, they said it once to the
wife what they like, and it's not that way, and so they come
home and they get angry, and they say, you know, and then
the wife, you know, you get into a little spat or something like
that, and he says, well, you're supposed to submit to me. You're supposed
to submit to me. That goes over like a lead brick. That will not work for you because
when you demand and insist and lay down the law like that, what
you find in the wife is that she's going to be hard. Her heart
is going to be hard and she's going to be cold to you and indifferent
to what you're saying and if you keep it up, hate and hate
you. She won't appreciate it because it's not the way that
we earn the respect and the submission of our wives. It's not through
the law and just demanding it and insisting upon it. You're
not going to get the result that you want. She's not going to
do it gladly and say, oh, you're right, honey. I forgot I'm supposed
to submit to you. And then she's going to just
go and do all these nice things for you. It doesn't work that
way. But if you speak peaceably and you say it in a loving way,
that doesn't mean you're not going to have fights and you're
not going to say things that hurt one another from time to
time. If you speak peaceably and kind and patiently with your
wife, you'll see that she's willing to remember. I think women remember
more accurately what we do like than maybe they let on sometimes
when we're being a jerk to them. They kind of know what we do
like and so they might go the other way at times. If, if, if
you're, if you speak tenderly and you're not demanding and
insisting, but you'll find that they can be very warm, very tender,
very giving. And the more you invest into
that relationship, the more you hear them and invest into it,
the more you see it's reciprocated back to you. The more sweet and
kind you are to them, you'll see I mean, if she's a good wife,
she'll be sweet and kind to you as well. And she'll take care
of you and remember the things that you like. And she'll be
pleased to do it. She'll be happy to do those things. And if you think about it, as
one flesh of all the people in the world that you stand to gain
the most from, it's your own wife. By building her up, by
encouraging her, edifying her, speaking kindly to her, you have
the most to gain out of everybody in the world from her being built
up and confident and and you speaking well, well to her and
encouraging her that, right? Because other people, she's just
another person. What does it matter to them if,
if she's beat down and, and, and mistreated? It means nothing
to them, but to your own wife, if she's not beat down and, and
you treat her well, I mean, you stand to gain the most. She's
going to reciprocate that to you as well, all right? So remember
that. You have the most to gain. You
beat her down, you know, with your words and you're, you're
harsh to her. She'll be beat down and not able to do much. She won't have a heart for it.
All right? Now, we see that Christ himself, he doesn't weigh down
his bride. He doesn't threaten her with
law and terrors. There's a hymn I like by Joseph
Hart. And the one verse that I like
is where it says, law and terrors do but harden. All the while,
they work alone. But a sense of blood-bought pardon
soon dissolves a heart of stone. And so the Lord is tender to
us and we're to be tender to our wives. He said in Matthew
11, 28, come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and
I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn
of me for I am meek and lowly in heart and ye shall find rest
unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden
is light. And so Christ loved the church.
He gave himself for it. He saw his bride falling in sin. She'll make mistakes too. Don't
be super harsh and and and I mean speak the truth. They gotta know.
They have to hear things too. And speak the truth. Do it in
in love and and and and say the things that need to be said.
But don't deal harshly and don't put her away. Right? Don't don't
divorce isn't even something that should be in our vocabulary. If you give yourself that out,
you'll consider it then. But if you say, you know what,
I'm not going into this. I'm not looking for a divorce. If this doesn't work out, I think
I've said it before, but I remember working with somebody and I was
surprised to hear that they were getting married. And I said,
wow, you're getting married? She said, ah, if it doesn't work
out, I'll just divorce them. And don't do that because there's
going to be things and times where you think, what have I
done? Who did I just marry? And if you think about divorce
as an option, you might be foolish enough to do that. And it's very
painful and very hurtful when you divorce somebody. Whether
the woman's divorcing the husband or the husband's divorcing her,
it really tears people up. And so don't go into it thinking
about divorce. And so Christ didn't divorce
his wife and instead he took the shame, he took her curse,
he went there faithfully to that cross and put away her sin. He bore it before his own father. He bore her curse and put away
that sin. And that's the kind of love that
a husband is to have for his wife. He didn't expose our sin. We're quiet, even when we're
dealing with brethren. We're not to expose one another's
sin and just talk about one another, because that just creates dissension
and destroys peace, and it rips apart the people. So we're not
to do that. But Christ did what he did, and
in his death, he purchased for her a beautiful, snow-white robe,
a robe of pure, holy righteousness, so that she is now altogether
lovely and beautiful and stands accepted before the throne of
God without fault." John, when writing in Revelation, he said,
And I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down from
God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. Alright, so Christ did this for
his bride. He says in Ephesians 5, 26 and
27, that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing
of water by the word, that he might present her to himself
a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that she should be holy and without blemish. What we find
that in Christ's love to us, that's why we speak of the Gospel,
we declare the Gospel, because in hearing the love that Christ
has for us, and knowing it's true, it's not just words, but
He did it, He laid down His life, it melts the heart of the bride
into willing submission. It melts the hearts of His people
made willing to submit to Christ, her Lord and her Savior. And
so that's where we see as husbands when we love our wives. That
doesn't mean we don't say things that need to be said, but we
do it in a respectful way. We don't look to embarrass her
in front of people either. We don't just stand up and look
like the man in public places either. That's not about that,
but it's We are honest and just as Christ is honest with us But
he does it tenderly and in love and we see that he loves us and
so that's how everything we do We want our wives to know I'm
doing this in love and and we should be doing it in love for
the good of the family because we're laying down our lives to
you know, we're we're It's no longer just about you and going
and playing games with your friends and playing Xbox and doing things
like that. It's about being a man and doing
what you need to do to provide for your family and not skipping
out on those things because that's a fast track way to have your
wife being bitter and not happy with how you're behaving because
it's just not right in doing that or not to do that. So we're
to love our bride even as Christ loved the church and gave himself
for it. And so remember that the rule
of love is far superior than the rule of law. The law just
hardens and pricks enmity in our own flesh. That's exactly
how it'll be when you start laying down the law to your wife. It'll
just prick her in her heart and it'll just provoke the flesh
and it's just not, it's not going to get the result that you think
it's going to get. Alright, so when a husband and
wife marry, from that day, the scriptures teach they're one
flesh. They're one flesh. They're to do things together.
They're one body, one flesh. It says in Ephesians 5, 28, so
ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that
loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord
the church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. And for this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his
wife, and they too shall be one flesh. And so being one, The
husband seeks to provide for his bride, to care for her, to
consider her, to be thoughtful and mindful of her and her needs. And he's to treat her the way
he would treat his own body. Just like you need a rest once
in a while, she needs a rest once in a while. Like you need
a break once in a while, she needs a break once in a while.
And so remember that. Treat her as your own because
in treating her well, You're treating yourself well, and that's
what the scriptures are teaching. You're one flesh. If you mistreat
her, you're disheartening yourself, and you're mistreating your own
flesh. If you treat her well, it's a blessed thing. Again,
you'll have your disagreements, you'll have your fights and your
arguments at times, and that's not necessarily a bad thing,
but come together and see how the Lord has purposed a good
marriage in it, all right? the believer, they leave all
and are joined to Christ. And that's what the spouse does.
The husband is to leave his father and mother and be joined unto
his wife. That means that if you're a mama's
boy, you ain't a mama's boy anymore. You're joined to your wife. You're
supposed to remember her and care for her. That doesn't mean
that you're disrespectful to your mom, but there's times when
it comes down to my wife would like this, my mom would like
that. You know, you can talk to your wife, but ultimately,
I mean, you're married to your wife. You're married to your
wife, and put her above your own mother. She's your flesh. Be respectful to your parents,
but you're joined to her now. You've left your father and mother
for her. And I know some mothers don't
like that, but you'll find that they did the same thing to their
parents. they left their parents but now they don't want their
children to do that. But it's healthy to be joined
to your wife and to respect her and to to encourage her in that
way, because there's nothing more disheartening than if you're,
you know, always going back to your mom and doing what she says
instead. Alright, so to husbands, the
most loving thing that you can do, I just want to say this too,
the most loving thing you can do is bring your wife under the
gospel, to have your wife under the gospel of Jesus Christ. That
really is the most blessed thing that you can do for her, is have
her under the gospel of Christ. And, you know, love her by being
a good provider. Don't be lazy and indifferent
to the things that you have need of. Wives don't insist that he
overwork himself and not have any time for the family, you
know, for the kids and things like that. But you should be
looking to be a good provider in all things. You love her too
by teaching your children to respect their mother and to obey
her word and you do that by showing her respect in front of the children
by not talking foolishly to her and if you hear them misspeaking
to their mother, deal with it. Don't let them talk that way
to their mother. Show them that it's good to respect
their mother and she'll be healthier and happier for it unless, you
know, haggard when you get home because they'll be listening
to their mother and not wearing her down. And then, you know,
prefer her above all others. Don't say anything that would
cause her to think Well, he doesn't speak that way about me. He doesn't say those nice things
about me. Don't do anything to betray her trust that you love
her and that she is number one for you and she's above all others
in your eyes. And love her, protect her, defend
her. If she needs defending, do what
you're supposed to do. Don't talk down to her. Don't
belittle her in front of other people. And when you're with
other people, like at work, and other men are talking bad about
their wives, don't join in with them. Don't join in with them. You can just say, I don't even
know what you're talking about. My wife's wonderful. Just praise
her and speak well about her. And then the scripture says in
Proverbs 19.14, a prudent wife is from the Lord. That means
she's a gift. A prudent wife is a gift to you
from God. Treat her like that gift. You
be sweet on her. And you know, if you want your
wife to submit to you as the head of your home, Be the head
of your home. Be the head of your home. Not
in that authoritarian, law-demanding rule, but you are the head of
the home, and you'll have to make certain decisions, and sometimes
you just have to do what you have to do, but do your best
to be at least respectful to your wife and kind about what
has to be done. And so, then let me just close
with all, to all couples I say, if you love Christ, If you put
Christ first and you love Christ more than you love your own spouse,
you'll actually have a wonderful marriage. If you put Christ first,
if you submit to Christ in all things for your salvation and
you look to Him, your marriage will actually be sweet and wonderful.
I know it sounds weird to say it that way, but it's true. If
you put Christ first, you will have a very happy, blessed, wonderful,
loving marriage where you love each other and respect one another
and are good to one another. So I pray the Lord will bless
that. Like I said, that's much longer than what I would be doing
in the service, but that's really what the scriptures teach in
terms of marriage and how it pictures Christ and His bride. So I pray the Lord will help
you to think on that and pray about it. Pray about it. And
pray the Lord a blessing to your hearts and all of our hearts
because it's good for all of us to see it and be reminded. All
right, let's pray. Actually, you know what? Let's
have the song first and then I have a couple of announcements
and then we'll close in prayer.