We're going to be looking at
this week and following weeks. I'm not sure exactly how long.
We're going to be looking at marriage. As I began to think
about this, I didn't know how many sermons there would be,
but I'm sure there's going to be at least two and maybe three. I'm glad that this is a subject
we're going to cover. It's very important, as you'll
see, as we look into scripture today. And I'm really hopeful
that the Lord will guide us through the scripture in this, and cause
each one of us to see God's great love for His people, and the
result that that has in our own lives, what it causes us to do.
So if you want to turn your Bibles, first of all, to Ephesians chapter
5, we're going to begin there, but we're also going to go to
some other texts of scripture. as we look at this. As I thought
about this, as I usually do, you find that scripture is giving
pieces of information which when put together create a panoramic
view that I had never really considered before, or maybe if
I had, I had forgotten the details of it. I don't want to overwhelm
you, but I want to try to give you a thumbnail sketch of some
things in Scripture so that you can see how big and central this
topic is in God's Word. As we study the Kingdom of God,
launching from John chapter 3, we saw how big that subject was
in the Word of God. We're going to see the same thing
here because they're really both an integral part of one another
throughout all of Scripture. That will be the topic today,
but let's begin with the Lord, asking the Lord to be with us.
Gracious Father, we pray that according to your great love
for your people, for your children, giving your own Son that you
would bless us today by your Spirit, point our eyes in faith
and hope to the Lord Jesus and expand your word to us that we
might be amazed at your goodness and your grace and your eternal
love for us And we pray, Lord, that we would be as obedient
children following You in thankfulness and in love from our heart by
the grace You give to us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
In Ephesians chapter 5, we could read the entire book, but we
won't take that much time. I want to begin at verse 20,
though. And the first verse that we're going to pick up here begins
in verse 20 with giving thanks. And it's always hard to know
exactly where to begin, but this verse starts us in a way that
we might not have thought of when we begin the topic of marriage. But here he says in verse 20,
giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. It says giving thanks
always. That means at all times. And
for all things. for everything. Now, who do you
normally thank? If someone does something for
you, you give them thanks, don't you? If your mom fixes you dinner
and you eat and it's really good, oh, I love fried chicken, Mom,
thanks for that, and you give her thanks, don't you, because
your mom did all that work. And you might remember to thank
your dad. Thank you, Dad, for going to work so hard and bringing
home those groceries for us to have this delicious fried chicken
dinner. And so you thank them. You don't
go next door and thank the man next door for your chicken dinner,
do you? Why not? Because that man didn't do anything
to give you that chicken dinner. It was your mom and dad, right?
And so when God says, give thanks, He's pointing us to the one who
gives us whatever it is He's telling us to thank Him for.
And here He says, giving thanks always for all things. That means, to the believer,
everything, at all times, is from God. And it's from God in
a way that is a way of love, and a way of a Father's love
for His children, and it's for our good. Not just to teach us
a hard lesson. I'm going to give you some good.
Come here, son. I need to paddle your behind. That's not the kind
of the way to look at this. Think of it as God our Father. You normally see a little… We
just had our grandson here for a few days and he's about one
year old. He's just learning to walk. He
would fall down and hit his head on something and bang himself
up. It seemed like every 15 minutes he was hurting himself. And all
the time, his dad was patiently watching, seeing him, you know,
motor about, doing what little kids do, getting themselves into
trouble. But his dad was wisely and compassionately
watching over him even when he wasn't thinking about his dad.
And he was allowing him to do these things because that's the
way we grow. That's the way we learn. And we gain those experiences. Well, our Father in Heaven not
only watches us and lets us do these things like a father on
earth, but He actually orders our lives in all things at all
times. And He's instructing us to give
Him thanks. And that's an attitude of submission
to the will of God, isn't it? If your father tells you to go
out and pull the weeds or your mom asks you to do the dishes
or something, you think, oh man, I'd rather do something else,
anything but that, ride my bike or something. But they're giving
you those things to do because it's for your good. And it's
good for you in a way that's better than doing those short-term
things that you think are good for you. Getting to do what you
want is not good for you. And that seems strange to us,
because it seems like we are the best ones to decide what's
good for us. But that's not the case. And
children learn that as they're growing up. And we learn it from
our Heavenly Father, because He teaches us from His Word that
when we were sinners, He reconciled us to Himself by the death of
His Son, and that reconciliation is the highest expression of
His love, the highest accomplishment of His love for us to bring us
to Himself as His dear children. And if He has that much love
for us, then He, you can bet, He's going to order every aspect
of our life for our good, the very best that could be in our
lives. And each one of us are different.
And God's work in our lives is individual. He doesn't work in
a way that's just with a group of people. He works with each
person in their own heart and orders that person's life according
to His will. And to the believer in Christ,
He tells us that all things work together for our good. So you
can see how this verse is directing our attention to God as our Father
And we give thanks to Him because all things are from His hand.
And it's from His hand with the same love that He gave us His
Son to take away our sins and conform us into the image of
His dear Son. And this is love. incomprehensible,
immeasurable, something we can't express really. But God has to
teach it to us. And so He says, in all of your
life, in every detail, submit yourself to the providence of
God. That means God's hand in His
life, ordering your life, whatever comes about, whether it's at
work or at home, in your health or in your poverty or in your
prosperity, whatever it is. View everything as from your
Heavenly Father's hand, the hand of your loving and Heavenly Father."
And then he goes on, he says, "...in the name of our Lord Jesus
Christ." Because all good from God our Father comes to us because
of our Lord Jesus Christ. Nothing good can come to us except
through Him. Life, truth, the way, it's all
in Christ. Every blessing in heavenly places
is ours only in the Lord Jesus Christ. It's because of Him and
it's given to us through Him. He Himself gives it to us as
our mediator. So these things are directing
us to the Lord Jesus Christ. It's showing us in this one verse
our relationship to God as our Father and to the Lord Jesus
Christ as our mediator and as our Lord and Savior. And then
he's going to go on here. He says, Submitting yourselves
one to another in the fear of God. So we see that this attitude
of thanksgiving is an attitude of submission and trust. Because you submit to the one
you trust. When you submit to one you don't
trust, you do it against your will. And you're forced to do
it, like an animal who has to carry a heavy burden. Ah, I'm
going to do it anyway. I don't want to, but I'll do
it. That's not what God instructs us to do. Don't carry the burden
of obedience as a weight you don't want to bear. That's the
attitude of a slave. But the attitude of a son is
one who wants to obey his father out of love. And so he's telling
us in this Attitude of thanksgiving is submission to God as our Father,
that we view all things from His hand through the Lord Jesus
Christ. And this submission is a submission
of love and trust. We trust Him to do what's right. And even when it hurts us, we
know that the Lord has a purpose to work it all for our good.
Even the things we think of now as bad, because they're hard
or they are health or circumstances or something. We always have
something to complain about. We're tempted to complain about
everything. The way someone looks at us is what we have or don't
have. And we see all these things and we become discontent. But
that's not the way the child of God is to live their life.
But in loving submission and trust to God through the Lord
Jesus Christ and to one another. Because this submission starts
with our trust in Christ to save us from our sins, doesn't it?
When we begin to trust God, it always starts there as sinners
needing to be saved from our sins and the eternal wrath our
sins bring upon us from God's hand. And so we trust Him for
our eternal souls and we trust Him for our everyday lives. And
this trust of submission is carried over into our submission to Him
as our loving God whose way is right, whose wisdom we trust,
and whose heart cannot do us wrong because of His great kindness
and love to us. Ephesians is full of the love
of God, and so this is building on that. Our submission to the
Lord in love, love and trust. And we can do that with complacent
delight. We can submit with gladness,
not with an attitude of disgruntled discontent. And so he says this,
but he goes on. submitting yourselves to one
another in the fear of the Lord, in the fear of God. Because this
attitude of submission to God makes us humble, doesn't it?
When we realize that we're sinners and we can't save ourselves,
and we find that God in His mercy has provided all in Christ, and
He directs us to the Lord Jesus Christ and tells us to come to
God by Him alone, and we find that we can come not because
of what we've done, or because of who we are or what we're going
to do someday, but because God looks upon Christ for us and
receives us for His sake alone, nothing delights us more than
that. And we come in trust. We even come in confidence and
assurance and boldness because God looks upon His Son and receives
us for His sake and not for something in us. And therefore, even though
we're sinners, we can confess our sins openly and come to God
trusting Christ for all. And that produces an attitude
in us of humility before God and before one another. So we
submit to one another. We don't try to dominate others.
We submit. We have an attitude of humility
and an attitude of wanting to serve others and love. And that's
the attitude that grace brings to us. And so then he goes on. And he's going to take a specific
case here, submitting yourselves one to another, this attitude
of submission and trust and love. And he's going to use this as
if he takes it. You've seen those cartoons where
they take a blank canvas and they take a brush and they sprinkle
It just looks like they sprinkle the brush and the whole thing
just appears on the screen. I used to love to see things
like that. How did that happen? Well, it was a time-lapse photography
of an artist doing it or whatever it was, but you see that and
it's just amazing. Well, that's what God is doing
here. He's taking the brush of the truth of the submission of
a wife to her husband and the love of a husband for his wife
and He sprinkles the canvas. to show us His eternal purpose
in Christ for the church. So that when we submit to one
another, we have this view of God's eternal purpose. This is
the heavenly reality God sees. This is why He created the world.
This is why the world exists. This is why everything in the
world is occurring. It's for the church. to bring
glory to his son in the salvation of his people. This is an amazing
picture. It's about to break forth on
the screen of God's canvas from his word. So he says, he says,
wives, just as he just said, submit yourselves one to another,
he uses a specific case. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the
head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and
He is the Savior of the body. In verse 24, Therefore, as the
church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their
own husbands in everything. Notice the specificity here. He doesn't say, just submit yourselves,
wives, to whoever you want to. He says, no, wives, submit yourselves
to your own husbands. And there's a good reason for
that. What would happen if wives tried to submit themselves to
every man? This would be total chaos, wouldn't
it? It would be considered a perversity
of the purpose God has in marriage. Remember when God created the
world and He created man? And He said regarding Adam, He
said, it's not good for the man to be alone. I will make him
and help me for him. And out of Adam's side he took
a rib and formed the woman and brought her to the man. And then
Adam said, and it was God speaking through Adam by the Spirit of
God, he said, Therefore shall a man, this now is bone of my
bone and flesh of my flesh, therefore shall a man leave his father
and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they too shall
be one flesh. God made the husband and the
wife one flesh. One person in two people. This
is what God did. This is the living reality in
this world today. Throughout creation, God, from
the beginning, even before the fall of Adam, before sin entered
into the world, God created marriage. He created the man and the woman
and He designed it that that one man, the husband, and that
one woman, the wife, would be brought together and brought
together in a holy union. Hebrews 13 verse 4 says, Marriage
is honorable and all in the bed undefiled. It's a holy, pure
union because God set it apart for himself, for his purpose.
And that purpose was to be this picture, a living picture, a
sermon illustration, if you will. The greatest illustration a sermon
could ever be, a living picture of the union. between the Lord
Jesus Christ and His people, by His Spirit, throughout all
eternity, they would be one. This is an amazing, everlasting,
eternal union created by God between redeemed sinners and
the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And so that's what he's
getting to. And so he says, wives, submit
yourselves to your own husbands. And not just to do this blindly,
but he says, as unto the Lord. And see, where does he say that?
In verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves to your
own husband as unto the Lord. And then he goes on, he gives
the basis. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as
Christ is the head of the church. So here we have a husband, and
that's the living picture. And what is the reality? What
is true in heaven? What is it that God created this
man and this woman for? To portray? The Lord Jesus Christ. The husband portrays the Lord
Jesus Christ. And the wife submits to the husband
because the wife portrays the church, the people of God, the
believers in Christ, who submit with loving trust to the Lord
Jesus Christ in everything. In salvation, in providence,
in obedience to his word, in delight of his will. Just like
He submitted Himself to His Father in delight, in trust, in love.
And so this is in everything. And not to any other man. The
Church does not submit Herself to another husband. And the husband,
Christ, doesn't love another woman. He loves the Church. And
this is why God says that marriage is between one man and one woman,
and it's never to be broken, because what God has joined together,
let not man put asunder. This is scripture. What God has
joined together, let not man put asunder. A picture that's
so sacred and holy, that violation of the picture breaks the connection
between what is true in the picture and what is real in heaven. And
that's why when God says, no fornication, because it breaks
the reality of heaven. No adultery, because Christ is
devoted only to His one wife. Look at Proverbs chapter 5. I
want you to see these words of Proverbs. He speaks now of marriage,
And we know that in this truth of marriage, the husband and
the wife, and the love of the husband for the wife, and the
submission of the wife to her husband, this is a living picture. And it's going to last as long
as this earth lasts. Until Christ and His people,
in reality, are joined in heaven forever and ever. But in Proverbs
chapter 5 and verse 15, Remember, in the Proverbs it's speaking
of things allegorically. Physical things teaching spiritual
realities. That's what the Proverbs is.
It was written by Solomon, the wise man. God gave him that wisdom. He says in verse 15, Drink waters
out of thine own cistern. A cistern is like a place where
they would keep water, like a well. They would keep the water in
it and it was cool. It was low in the ground and it was keep
it cool and they kept that for drinking. And so he says, you
drink water out of your own cistern. It has a picture here. Drink
waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out of thine
own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers of
water in the streets. Let them be only thine own and
not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed and
rejoice with the wife of thy youth. You see, what God is saying
here is that your wife supplies you in this relationship of marriage,
supplies you with this cool drink of water. It's the love you have
for her. She is so desirable to you and
she is so in submission to you that you want her. as a man who's
married, wants his wife, in a way of intimacy. And this is God-given. The bed is undefiled. And this
affection is not only a physical intimacy, but it's an intimacy
of communion and fellowship. Not just a physical contact,
but a communion of communication with words, and actions, and
service, and devotion, and protection, and provision. All that a husband
does for his wife. He says, now I want you to understand,
young man. He says, drink water out of your
own cistern. Don't go to some other woman
looking for satisfaction or pleasure. or even that communication that
you ought to have with your wife, that communication is for her. You pour out and disclose your
heart to her. so that she feels welcome to
open herself up to you, you see. And so this is the communion
between a husband and his wife is a deep, refreshing drink of
water. It has both verbal and emotional
communication as well as physical contact. It all goes together.
God has made the whole man. His mind, his will, his emotions,
his body, everything, that man is. And so he's focusing on that. And remember how the Lord Jesus
went to the woman at the well? And what did he do to her? He
said, woman, give me to drink. Drink water out of your own cistern."
So what does that mean? The Lord Jesus came to her asking
her for a drink. It meant that she was part of
His holy, heavenly wife, His bride. And He was asking her
to give Him a drink, but she couldn't give Him a drink. Oh,
but she could, because she gave Him a drink because she was the
object of His saving grace. And in saving her and revealing
Himself to her, He was drinking himself because of the love of
satisfaction he had in saving his people. And so he goes on
here. It's an emphasis to fidelity
to your wife. And not just fidelity in a physical
way, but in a mental and emotional. The whole man is devoted to his
wife. So he says in verse 19. Verse 18, let thy fountain be
blessed, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let your wife
be blessed, and let her be your delight. In other words, verse
19, let her be as the loving hind, which is another word for
a deer. The loving hind and pleasant
roe, let her breast satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished
always with her love. This sounds like a little risky
kind of language, doesn't it? But it's showing here the desire
of the husband for his wife in what it ought to be. You be ravaged
with her. Now remember, this is a physical
a relationship that has a much deeper spiritual meaning. It's not like Hollywood would
portray it. It's completely perverse. This
relationship is dear and it's the most treasured relationship
on earth. And you'll find it even in people
who don't believe the Lord, how they become this bond between
a man and his wife. So they live their whole lives
together in this relationship. And sometimes, of course, most
of the time it's perverted or it's trodden underfoot in disregard. But in this case, it's elevated
as God wants it to be. He says in verse 19, verse 20, Okay, so what is this saying?
Well, it's saying that, and look at Song of Solomon now. Song
of Solomon is similar kinds of words. This was Solomon who wrote
Proverbs and the Song of Solomon by the Spirit of God. He's teaching
us things in a parable language that relates to what appears
to be a physical relationship. But the physical relationship
is important to God. So important that breaking that
physical relationship, either in fornication or adultery or
just simply neglect. In 1 Peter it says, Husbands,
you be careful the way you treat your wives because if you don't... I can't remember exactly the
words of it, but he says, if you don't live with them according
to this grace God has given to you, then your prayers won't
be heard. That's how serious this physical
relationship is now on earth. Because the spiritual is infinitely
more important to God, and that's what he's trying to emphasize
here. But in Song of Solomon, he says in chapter 4, verse 8,
he says, come with me from Lebanon. My spouse, with me from Lebanon,
look from the top of Amana, from the top of Shinere, and Hermon
from the lion's dens, from the mountains of the leopards. I
don't know what that means, but let's go on. Verse 9. Thou hast
ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse, thou hast ravished
my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck. You
see how great the love of the man here is in Song of Solomon
4.9? His love for his wife, she's
ravishing to him. And he takes delight in her.
Because this is meant to teach the believer, the sinner who
has trusted Christ, how great Christ's love is for us. You
have ravished my heart with one of your eyes. With one chain
of your neck. How could this be? How could
we be so attractive to the Lord Jesus Christ? Well, it wasn't
something in us. You can be certain of that. It
was because of His love, wherewith He loved us. A sovereign love
that began from eternity before we had a being. And He found
it in Himself. And so back in Ephesians chapter
5, He says in verse 25, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ
also loved the church and gave Himself for it. So, normally,
the Lord moves from a parable to the reality. Like in 1 Corinthians
15, He says, that which was first was not the spiritual, but the
earthly. When Adam was formed, and then
the Lord Jesus Christ fulfilled that, He said, normally, God
teaches us things first from the earthly to the spiritual.
But here in Ephesians 5, He teaches us how to behave as husband and
wife based on the spiritual. He pulls from the reality in
heaven. And Christ and His church in
order to teach us as husbands and wives to live with one another.
And isn't this the greatest possible way to motivate us in the right
way? To set the stage right? To set the truth right for us?
And so He says, He said to the wives, submit your husbands.
But now He says in verse 25, and this is the highest possible responsibility that could be. He says, husbands. Love your
wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for
it. Now, I want to turn to 1 Corinthians
chapter 13, but as you're turning there, because you know what
that chapter is about, as you're turning there, I want you to
think about this. If the Apostle Paul were to condense everything
he could say about love into one sentence, he did it right
there. Husbands, love your wives. How? even as Christ also loved
the church and gave himself for it." Everything in scripture
that talks about the love of a husband for his wife comes
to a point on those words. Even as Christ loved the church,
the poor, helpless, foul, filthy, adulterous sinner with no value
in himself or herself, with nothing to offer, And like in the book
of Hosea, had been an adulterous woman and had been sold as a
slave. And he comes along and he redeems
her. He gives himself for her because
of his great love wherewith he loved her. And this love is indescribable. But in 1 Corinthians 13 he expands
on this and I want to look at this together with you. Love.
How can a husband love his wife? What is love? Well, thankfully
God has told us what love is, not just in words, but in the
very life of the Lord Jesus Christ. We read last week, how do we
know love? How do we know the love of God?
Do we love God naturally? And as we saw the last few weeks,
number one, we don't. We don't even know love. And
we certainly don't love God. until God makes Himself known
to us and His love to us in Christ. Isn't that true? No man has ever
loved God until God first loved him and showed him His own love
in the Lord Jesus Christ. And so keep that in mind when
we look at 1 Corinthians 13. Now, in the book of 1 Corinthians,
the Corinthian church were trying to get these different gifts,
and one of them was tongues or speaking in languages that would
enable them, like in the book of Acts, to preach the gospel,
only they didn't want it for that purpose. Here in 1 Corinthians
they were desiring this gift of speaking in these different
languages in order to have something about themselves that would make
them seem, or in the esteem of others, to be important, spiritual,
religious people. Look at this guy, or woman, she
can speak, or he can speak in this tongue, this foreign language.
How does he do that? So they sought after these gifts
that were really evident. And some of them sought to be
able to prophesy and unfold mysteries from scripture. Or to have the
ability to perform miracles because of their strong faith. And so
the Apostle Paul, he's taking all those things that they wanted
for themselves. In order to make themselves seem
important to others and to their own selves. And he's showing
them what's really important. And this is so important to us.
This is what's really important here. We live our Christian life
in this world and we go through it day by day and most of the
time we're like sinners who need to be saved for the first time. And that's appropriate. But it's
supposed to teach us something else. But it's not supposed to
just leave us there. It's to teach us something as
mature men. You go out under the tree right
now that we have in the backyard and there's peaches on it. But
they're not ripe. They have to get ripe, and we wait until they're
just right. Ripe and juicy and sweet. And
you know what that's called? That's called mature fruit. Faith produces a mature fruit,
and that mature fruit is love. And that's the point of love,
of faith and hope. And that's what He's going to
teach us here. 1 Corinthians 13, He says, Though I speak with
the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, in the
King James Version it should be love. Because it's not talking
about giving money to poor people like we think of charity. I'm
just going to give some, like you do on your income taxes.
Well, I had this charitable donation. That's not what he's talking
about. He's talking about love. The word here is love. And it
should have been translated love. Though I do this, I can speak
with all the languages of men and even the languages of angels,
whatever that might be. And if I have not love, this
is what he says, I am become as sounding brass and as a tingling
cymbal. In other words, I'm not doing
anybody any good. It's just like ding. There's
no communication of intelligence in that sound. It doesn't do
anybody a lick of good. It's just a sound. And verse
two, and though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all
mysteries. Have you ever wondered, I wish
I could just understand all these things and all knowledge. Look at that guy's head. It's
so big. He could explain anything. And though I have all faith,
so that I could remove mountains, and yet if I have not love, I
am nothing. Not like, well, you've done well
there. You can speak in tongues. You
can explain all the scripture. And you know, like Nicodemus,
you're a master of Israel, but you don't have love. You are
nothing. Nothing to God and nothing to
men. You are nothing. How often do we seek after things
that make us think of ourselves as having something. And yet
if we don't have love, God says, you are nothing. He goes on.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor. Take the richest
man on earth. He says, I can't use all these
billions of dollars. I'm going to give a hundred billion
dollars to feed the poor people. For the rest of eons of time,
I'm going to set up a foundation to feed the poor in my name. The Big Name Foundation, whatever
that is. And he says, though I bestow
all my goods to feed the poor, I'm even going to sell my homes. I think I read of somebody doing
that recently in the news. It was Tesla or somebody or whatever
the guy. Yeah. He's going to sell everything
he has and give it to the poor. Good for you. He says, though
I give my body to be burned. Now here's a sacrifice, isn't
it? You see people, I've seen these things in the movies back
in the news clips back in the 70's where these monks would
set themselves on fire. Ridiculous. He says, though I
give my body to be burned and have not love, it profits me
nothing. Absolutely nothing. Here's what
love is. Since all these other things
are meaningless unless you have love, then let's understand what
love is. Now, when you read this, I want
you to think about the relationships God has given us. First of all,
God's love to us in Christ. That's the only way we know love.
So when he talks about these things, we must first understand
it from the view of a sinner loved by God. God commendeth
his love toward us, Romans 5.8, in that while we were yet sinners,
Christ died for us. What love is that? Or when he
says in verse 9 of Romans chapter 5, "...being now justified by
His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him, for when
we were yet enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death
of His Son." And that's love, isn't it? We are touched by love. Don't you read those scriptures?
Remember in the book of Ruth, when Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law,
was about to leave the land of Moab because she heard that there
was bread again in Bethlehem, Judah. And she went back and
she told Ruth, who was from the land of Moab, now go back to
your people, Ruth. And she told Orpah the same thing. Go back to your people. And,
no, no, we don't want to leave you. Yeah, yeah, you go back.
You go back to your people. You go back to your gods. Go
back to your family. And Ruth said... She said the
most tender words. It's hard to even read them without
melting. So let me just read them. In
Ruth chapter 1, in verse... It says, verse 15, she said,
Behold thy sister-in-law has gone back unto her people. She's
talking about Orpah. She left... Naomi, and gone back
to her gods. Return thou after thy sister-in-law. You see how the gospel tells
sinners, if you can find another one, if you can find another
Savior, another lover, besides the Lord Jesus Christ, you go
ahead and go on back. Verse 16, and Ruth said, entreat
me not. Don't ask me to leave you. or
to return from following after thee. For whither thou goest,
I will go, and where thou lodgest, wherever you live, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people,
and thy God my God. Where thou diest, will I die,
and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more
also, if ought but death, part thee and me. That's love. That's the love of a daughter-in-law
for her mother-in-law, but it pictures the love of God's people
for Christ. And they say to Him, do not ask
me to leave you, because you're all I have. Your God will be
my God. Your people, my people. Wherever
you live, the foxes have holes and the birds have nests, but
the Lord Jesus Christ doesn't have anywhere to lay His head.
I'll be there with you. I'll follow you because you're
my only hope, the only truth, the only love I've ever known.
This is God's grace to sinners. And so you see this love. Remember
Jonathan's love for David. And there's so many examples,
but Christ's love for his people is the first example of love
in 1 Corinthians 13. God's love to us in Christ. And
the second one Which is the next important one. Really there's
two that are equal. Is the love of a husband for
his wife. Because that picture is the love
of Christ for his people. And God puts that right there
on the top. And then is the love of Christ's
people for one another. And so we think about those different
things, how God tells us here. Now we're sinners, so He has
to tell us all the things that love is not. Because this helps
sharpen the contrast between what it isn't and what it truly
is. So he begins here. Love, verse 4, suffers long. Love suffers long. Now we think
about suffering. Well, you know, this poor person
is just not smart enough. They're not strong enough. And
I'm going to put up with them. That's not what he's talking
about here, suffering long. They're inferior to me, but I'll
put up with them. I'm so noble. I take care of
the little insignificant people in the world with my nobility. That's not what it means. That's
arrogance. That's pride. That's not love
at all. That's the opposite of love.
But that's what we think of. The guy who's got houses and
lands and stuff. I'm taking care of this poor
man over here. Giving him a place to stay. That's
not suffering long with him. To suffer long means to bear
a debt that you're owed or an obligation to you. A right that
you truly have that that person can't meet. because of some fault
in them and to bear long, to suffer long with it. So that
you are putting up with them because you, in our relationship
with one another, you as a sinner, God has put up with you in His
Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. But think about the love of Christ
for us. How many times has it occurred to you how long God
has suffered with you and me, of course? I'm talking to you,
but I'm really talking to me. how long God has suffered with
us, and He had a right to expect it from us, but He was patient. He forbear, He did not require
us to give Him what we owed Him. But he found the debt paid in
his son. He provided for it in the Lord
Jesus Christ. All the obligations we had, he
met in Christ for us. That's suffering long. And, he
says, is kind. He joins those two things together.
Not only do you put up with them. No, you don't just put up with
them. You relinquish your rights to require it from them, even
though they owe it to you. You forgive them this huge debt. That's what suffer long means.
You do not demand payment or you do not demand the right,
the thing that you're owed, the obligation that should be given
to you. But you suffer long and you're kind. You not only put
up with that in that sense, but you give. You not only forgive,
but you're gracious and merciful. You see, this is God's love.
The Lord Jesus Christ not only came to the woman who was accused
of adultery, and He told her, you're not condemned. He gave
her eternal life. He not only forgives our sin,
but He gives us glory. He not only is merciful to us
by not destroying us in hell forever, but He gives us eternal
life and puts us on His own throne of glory. And gives us all things
because of what God thinks of His Son. And only for that. And so as husbands, whatever
God has given us with a wife, we are to treat her with the
most tender care. By God's grace, of course, that
whatever we think that she ought to give to us, we suffer long. We do not demand it. Instead,
we're kind to her. We give to her. And we forgive. You see? And then in verse 5,
he says, I'm sorry, verse 4 still, he says, Love vaunteth not itself. We don't know what that word
vaunt means. We don't use it. But it just means to boast. You see how long I suffered with
you all these years, woman. Sadly, it's the subject of songs
on the radio and comedy And it's also the subject of casual talk
where men degrade their wives in some sniping kind of way to
arrogate themselves. It's the lowest form of pride in a degrading way. To step on someone else to make
yourself seem bigger in the eyes of your peers. That's what it
means. Devont yourself. Boasting in
yourself. Look at me. You know, I remember
watching a movie when I was a kid. Jeremiah Johnson, he told his
wife, he says, beats on his chest, he says, a fine figure of a man.
You know, that's boasting about yourself. No, love doesn't think
about itself. Love thinks in thanksgiving to
God for what I can do for others, you see. Love is only happy when
it serves. the needs of the one it loves.
When the one it loves receives the blessing that he's seeking
for. That's God's love to us, isn't it? He vaunts not itself.
Charity or love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. It's just such a descriptive
word, it doesn't need explanation. It's not puffed up in pride. Men get jealous over their wife's
love and they try to retain it by puffing up. I'm better than
him. Verse 5 Love does not behave
itself unseemly. Does not seek her own, is not
easily provoked, and thinks no evil. Doesn't behave itself unseemly. That means inappropriately. Love
doesn't use things to speak of vulgar things in order to gain
attention to itself at the expense of others. Yeah, my wife, she
has this, you know, whatever she does, because it makes you
feel more important than her in the eyes of others. It would
be like showing, you know, like a father, his son's walking through
the room and there's guests in the house, he says, come here
boy, I want to show them how ugly your face is, you know.
That's what it would be like. It's unseemly. Love doesn't do
that. Love is thinking of the other
one all the time. Seeketh not her own. And you
can see how God, through the Apostle, has personified love
here. Love does not seek her own. And how many times has the
Lord Jesus Christ been seen to do that in Scripture? He comes
into the world the Son of God. The One to whom God the Father
has given everything and He lays it all aside in order to come
and seek out and save a helpless sinner, a filthy sinner, a leprous
sinner, a dying sinner, a devil-controlled sinner. This is God's great grace
to us. Doesn't seek her own. Is not
easily provoked. I was out changing the light
the other day and I couldn't get it to work and Denise asked me
a question. I answered her shortly and I thought,
oh man, I'm so easily provoked. I can't even take a little bit
of trouble without losing my cool. I'm such a bad guy. Thinketh no evil. Now, when it
says, thinketh no evil, we think about that as, well, it doesn't
think evil. But what it means here, it doesn't
reckon up, doesn't store up and count up, doesn't keep an accounting
of wrong, you see. And this is speaking about how
God did not impute our sins to us, but He imputed instead the
righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ to us. He imputed His
own Son's obedience, the love of His own Son, and the sacrifice
His own Son made in enduring the wrath of God. He imputed
all that to us. He thinketh no evil. but sees
in us His own Son and His righteousness. That's love. And so as husbands,
we're not to impute sin to our wives. We're to impute to them
instead, what? The righteousness of the Lord
Jesus Christ. Isn't that what God has done
for us? If God accepts us for what He thinks of His Son, ought
we not to receive one another on the same basis of justice? Satisfied? A redemption price
has been paid. Are we going to demand more than
God? Are we going to be looking for more than satisfies God Himself? No. Love thinks no evil. It does not rejoice in iniquity,
but rejoices in the truth. And here you see the love of
the Lord Jesus Christ. He loved us and washed us from
our sins. He purged our sins from us in
His own blood and then He gave us His Spirit in order to conform
us to His image. And what is that image? It's
love. We look to Him as our Savior
and hope in Him as our Redeemer who has paid the redemption price
for our salvation. He's going to give us all things
with Himself. And so we believe Him as sinners
and we hope in His promises. And because of that, we look
for the day when He's going to present us to Himself a holy
and spotless and unblameable Bride. We're expecting it because
he's faithful, because he will do all that is in his heart in
love. And so love rejoices not in iniquity,
but in the truth. We rejoice in the truth of the
gospel, don't we? We don't rejoice in the false
gospels of this world. We can't rejoice in them. They
talk about what we need to do in order to make ourselves acceptable,
in order to obtain blessings from God. But God's Gospel speaks
of what Christ has done in all of His glory. We boast only in
the Lord Jesus Christ. We rejoice in the truth of Christ.
And so we do that also with our wives. We rejoice with them in
the truth of the Gospel. Not in our own iniquity, but
in what God has said in His Word. And then in verse 7 it says,
love bears all things. And the word bears all things
doesn't mean like, well, again, I'm going to put up with you.
You're such a wimpy woman and I can't hardly tolerate you,
but being the great guy that I am, I'm going to take care
of you. You know, that's the way we think. No, this word means
like a roof over, a covering. And it reminds us of what Proverbs
says in 1 Peter, that love covers a multitude of sins. Not only for a wife, but with
one another. It says, if you see a brother overtaken in a
fault, pray for him, lest you yourself also are overtaken with
that fault. Bear one another's burdens and
so fulfill the law of Christ. You see, because that's what
love is about. It's about bearing as a covering,
hiding, not exposing. Let's see what that person has
done. You know, I knew that they were, you know, you don't say
those kinds of things. You don't want that to be exposed
because your goal here Your hope for them is what God has said
in His Word concerning the promises in Christ. You're praying that
God would fulfill His Word for His people, to bring them to
glory, to conform them to His image, just as you're praying
that for yourself. So your prayers for them are
the same as your prayers for yourself. Lord, show them Christ.
Show us the breadth and height and depth and length of the love
of Christ, that we might be filled with all the fullness of God.
That's what we're rejoicing in and that's what we're bearing
with them. Because this is the way Christ is born with us. And
he goes on, he says, it bears all things, it believes
all things, love hopes all things, and love endures all things.
Endures all things means trials. Sickness, that's why when we
say our marriage vows, we say in better, I mean in richer or
poorer, in sickness and health, for better or for worse, you
know, all those things. That's what this is talking about.
Enduring all things for love's sake. It doesn't matter whether
we're impoverished, Whether we have 10 children and we don't have any
time. All those things we think we're
being deprived. No. Love endures all things. Because
remember, giving thanks for all things at all times in the name
of the Lord Jesus. God has designed this. He's designed
our lives to give to one another, to our children. And in doing
so, our lives are fulfilled. We actually receive the blessings
of God in our souls. as we are being conformed to
the image of Christ when we give ourselves, not to take. I need some time for myself.
I gotta go watch the football game. Doggone it. I've done enough
around here. I'm tired of being a husband
and a father. You know? That's not what love does. No,
love thinks differently. And so it's a rebuke to us on
the one hand. But here notice that love is
the thing that endures. He goes on, he says, in verse,
I'll read it again, verse 7. It believes all things, it hopes
all things, love endures. You see, love is like a big circle
that draws around everything else. Inside of this circle is
faith and hope. We trust Christ as sinners, we
believe that God has accepted us for Christ's sake, we come
to God through the blood of Jesus and we rejoice in Christ. That's
faith. Our whole eternity is staked
on what God has done for us in Christ. And we hope, we believe
that God is going to fulfill His promises and we expect Him,
because of Christ, as the one He looks to for all from us.
And we expect Him to give us what He promised. And we're anxious
for it, we anticipate it, and we long for it. We're confident
of it, we're assured of it. And so we wait. By the Spirit
of God, we wait for the hope of righteousness through faith.
But this faith and hope are encompassed in, they're included in love.
Because when we love God, we believe Him. When we love God,
we believe He's going to do what He said concerning Christ and
concerning us. And we trust Him. We have known,
1 John 4, 16, we have known and believed the love God has to
us. And therefore, we're confident in the day of judgment. We're
bold in that day. Because God has matured that
fruit of faith in us like that peach on the tree. It's ripe
and juicy. And God has brought us to that.
When we're received in the glory, we see Him as He is and we're
made like Him. And we're perfected in love.
And now, through the experiences of our life, through the washing
of the Word of God, by pointing us to Christ in faith and hope,
Love is grown. Love is perfected. We grow into
a mature man in love. And so that's why through all
the New Testament the Apostle is always on the one hand commending
them for their love and exhorting them to love. Because love is
that all-encompassing grace and includes these others. In fact,
there's no one who loves God who doesn't believe Christ. Isn't
that true? We have known and believed the
love God has for us because herein is love, not that we love God,
but that God loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation
for our sins. Unless you trust Christ as the
just as satisfying sacrifice to God that He ordained and accepted
for you, and you come to God that way, and you look to Him
as all your righteousness, you don't trust anything. You leave
it all behind. And you look to Christ only and embrace Him with
a glad embrace to have such a Savior and Lord as He is. Until then,
you can't love God. But now He says, we're called
to liberty, but don't use your liberty now that you believe
on Christ as an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one
another. Now that we've been called by
faith to trust Christ, He's teaching us to love one another and to
love God. We love God because He first loved us and we love
one another because God has loved us as sinners and received us
for Christ's sake. So we receive one another for
Christ's sake. And especially our husbands and our wives. We
submit to one another and we especially give ourselves, as
Christ did for His church, to one another. This is the rejoicing. This is what God says, the Lord
loveth a cheerful giver. Because there's no such thing
as a giver In God's eyes, who gives grudgingly, or stingily, there is no such word
as stingily, in a stingy way. He goes on, he says, verse 8
of 1 Corinthians 13, charity never fails, or love never fails. Aren't you glad? God's love never
fails for His people. And the love that God has given
His people will not fail. Because why? It's the fruit of
the Spirit. We abide in Christ. In abiding
in Christ, we abide in His love for us. In abiding in Christ's
love for us, we draw from Him. We can't do anything of ourselves,
but we draw from Him in the saving relationship. And in that saving
relationship, as we abide in Him, we hear of His love for
us and God's love for us in Christ. And we hear His command to love
one another. What do we do? Well, we're not
like the prodigal son's brother who served God in order to get
something. Served his dad in order to get
something. And he was mad at his brother when he didn't get
it. That's what envy is. And somehow I skipped that. Love
does not envy. That's what envy is. Hating someone
else because good comes to them. We're not like that, brother.
By the Spirit of God, we want to obey. Like that little child
who wants to be doing for his father. Because he loves his
father. He doesn't think about it. He's
just, I want to do this for dad. You see? And so he says, Charity
never fails, but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail.
Whether there be tongues, they shall cease. There's going to
come a time where there's no need for prophecy because we'll
have the fulfillment. And tongues have already ceased. And the
prophecy he's speaking of here is not just telling the future,
but of declaring the preaching of the Word. There will come
a time when we won't need to preach the Word anymore, because
we'll live in the presence of the Word of God. These are seas,
and where there be knowledge, it shall vanish away, because
we'll know, not just in part, but perfectly. But he says in
verse 10, But when that which is perfect is come, then that
which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spoke
as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when
I became a man, I put away childish things. And so now as a man,
in maturity, I realize what's important is love to God, and
love to His people, and love for my wife. And this is what
a mature believer does, is we love. And so, if you hear these
things from God's Word, as I've been thinking about them, my
reaction is, Lord, what am I? I feel like I am nothing. I'm
best described by the person in the beginning of this chapter.
I'm nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I
might find this or that, but I have a hard time finding this
attitude of giving. of humility, of abasing myself
and forgiving, and looking for the best that God has promised
in Christ for others, so that all I want is, like the Apostle
Paul, to make myself a servant of Christ for the sake of the
Church. Or like the John the Baptist, who said, I must decrease,
he must increase. I'm happiest when the bride and
the bridegroom are together. You see, that's what love does.
For now we see through a glass darkly, but then face to face.
Now I know in part, but then shall I know even as also I am
known. And now abideth faith, hope,
and love. But these three, but the greatest
of these is love. Right now, where we live, we
have faith, hope, and love. But there's coming a day when
there will only be love, and that's in glory. Isn't that amazing? That even the love that God is
teaching us now will be perfected all the way in glory. And God's
love to us won't stop when we're raised from the dead. It will
be continually disclosing Himself to us in the greatest and most
profuse way of His glory in Christ. And that's love. That you might
know the love of Christ and be filled with the fullness of God,
the Apostle prayed in Ephesians 3, 17-20. And so we want that,
don't we? I want to know the love of Christ.
Because it's only by faith in Christ as a sinner that we can
know the love of God. Isn't that amazing? We can't
love God and we can't love one another unless we're first sinners
who've been saved by the Lord Jesus. And that's the way a husband
has to love his wife as a sinner saved by grace. Let's pray.