from the Old Testament that's
revealed in the New, Genesis chapter 2 in your left hand and
Ephesians chapter 5 in your right. Now, I want to talk this evening
a while about the very seriousness and sacredness of marriage. And the only reason that any
relationship on the face of the earth is given is to show us
the relationship we have with God. The marriage relationship shows
us the intimate relationship we have with Christ. That's the
only reason God gave that to us on earth. That's the reason
it is, is to picture our relationship with Christ. Fathers and sons,
a father and a son, he's our father. Husbands and wives, mothers
and daughters, masters in service, all relationships that we have
with God the Father and with the Lord Jesus Christ. And that's
why he gives us, he shows us in the Old Testament what it
is. And then we go to the new and
see how it relates and how it's a picture of our relationship
with Christ. And that's what makes us so serious
and so sacred. That's what makes us so serious.
You know, the state of our society and civil law, the law of the
land, don't regard marriage as a serious affair. They really don't. They don't
regard it sacred. Our social morals have stooped
to an incredible low stake. They're bad. Damn. Homosexuals,
who would ever dream that it would be on the news and then state legislators, whether a
homosexual could marry one another, two men could marry men and two
women could marry each other? Who ever dreamed that we'd be
facing things like that? Who ever dreamed that The Church
denominations would be holding synods and committee meetings
and councils to decide whether they will ordain homosexuals
and whether they'll allow them to enter the ministry. And they got to deal with the
fact that people just lived together, premarital sex and extramarital
affairs. But God don't look at things
the way the world does. And God's people don't look at
things the way the world does. God's preachers don't look at
things the way the world does. And that's why the world is in
such a state, because they say, We're going to do it our way.
We don't care what God says. They don't care at all what God
says. And look where it gets most people when they do that.
It's the way of the transgressor that's hard. But here in Genesis
2. It says this, verse 20, Adam gave names to
all the cattle and to the fowl of the air and to every beast
of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helpmate for
him. And the Lord God caused a deep
sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept, and he took one of
his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib
which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman, and
brought her unto the man." Now, watch what Adam says. Adam says,
This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall
be called woman, isha, because she was taken out of man. And therefore, since it is a
man and a woman, bone of bone, flesh of flesh, shall a man leave
his father and his mother, shall cleave unto his wife, and they
shall be one flesh." Now, you mark that and turn over here
to Ephesians 5. Look what it says in verse 30,
talking about our relationship with Christ. I'll deal with the
rest of the verses in a minute. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but
I speak concerning Christ and the Church. bone of his bone,
flesh of his flesh. We forsake all for our Lord Jesus
Christ. Now, let me tell you man's idea
of a good marriage. It says here in verse 22, Why
submit yourselves unto your husbands as unto the Lord? For the husband
is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
church. He is the Savior of the body. That means he meets the
needs of the body. Therefore, as the Church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands
in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ also loved the Church and gave himself for it." Now,
see if you don't agree with me about this. Man's idea of a good
marriage, let me give it to you. He wants his wife to be in perfect
submission and obedience, to never question him, never question
his authority, never question his decisions. As long as he
provides all the necessities of life, he's fulfilled his obligations.
She must do what he says, and he does what he wants. She has
certain things that's her responsibility to do, and he ain't going to
take no part in taking responsibility of it. He ain't going to have
nothing to do with that. He has his own things to do.
And wouldn't you say that's pretty close to what And most men, and
I tell you where most marriages really fail, is because they
view one another in the basis of law and not grace. That's
what law is. That's the way the law is. Obey
me or else. Grace says, I'm going to love
you in spite of you. I'm going to love you. Grace
says, I'm going to do for you because I love you. Grace said,
we're going to do for one another because we love one another.
Then here's a woman's idea of a good marriage. See, if you
all don't agree with this, she wants a husband who's always
romantic, always at home when he's not
at work, who is always full of compliments, compliments everything
that she does and everything she says and everything about
her. Tells the secrets of his heart. He's a good communicator.
When he comes home, honey, let me tell you about my day. She wants a husband who is understanding
and not demanding. Who is understanding. We've come
to the place now where things are mine and yours, and things
are not ours. And it should never be that way.
That's the way the world is. But what does God say about marriage?
What does God say about it? I read it to you. I read it to
you. just like we submit to Christ,
gladly submit to Christ. Why do we submit to Him? Because
He's our Savior. He loved us and gave Himself
for us. He redeemed us. He makes no demands
on us except, give me your heart, and if we've got our heart, He's
got us. And God's the one who instituted marriage. He's the
one who instituted it. And that's why He says, In verse
25 of Ephesians 5, Husbands, love your wives even as Christ
also loved the church and gave himself for it. And he does this
that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the Word, that he might make it pure. And that's what husbands
ought to do with their wives, treat them as pure and always
treat them right and always, when he's in public give them,
honor them in that, that he might have presented to himself a glorious
church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it
should be holy and without blemish. So ought, as Christ did this,
so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. You're not
going to abuse your body. You're not going to mistreat
your body. You're not going to curse your body. You're not going
to leave your body. You're going to take care of
your body, you're going to wash your body, you're going to treat
your body right. He said, Love your wife like
you do your own body. And he that loveth his wife,
he loves himself. For no man yet ever hated his
own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it. even as the Lord
the Church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. And this is the reason a man
will leave his father and mother, shall be joined unto his wife,
and they too shall be one flesh." And this is a great mystery.
But he said, I'm telling you about Christ and the Church. And nevertheless, let every one
of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself and
the wife see that she reverends her husband. Now see, this is
what God says about marriage. He told us over there where he
put Adam to sleep, took a rib, made Eve and gave her to him,
set her by him, and he called her a woman. And that's why the
Scripture said, from then on, a man shall leave his father
and mother and cleave unto his wife. And he said, This is bone
of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She's one with me. And oh, God
said it's not good for man to be alone. Ain't that what He
said there? He said it's not good for man to be alone. Now,
you look with me in Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes right after the
book of Isaiah, or excuse me, right before the book of Isaiah.
Proverbs, then Ecclesiastes. Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. God
said it wasn't good for man to be alone. You remember Brother
Henry talking about that on that message about love, how it's
not good to be alone. You can't enjoy things alone.
And he's right about that, he's really right. I mean, it's just
not right to be alone. God didn't make us to be alone.
Now, there's times that we all want to be alone, times we need
to be alone, but God didn't make us to be alone. He didn't make
us all to be alone. He gave us, we're social creatures,
social creatures. And here, look what he says in
verse, please, yes, chapter 4 and verse 9. not good for man to
be alone. Two are better than one, because
they have a good reward for their labor. They say, boy, look what
we've accomplished, look what we've done together. But if a
fellow does it all by himself, he's got nobody to share it with.
Nobody to say, boy, you know, he can't say, look what a garden
we've raised, look what a home we've built, look what children
we've And then what's this? For if they shall fall, the Lord
will lift up his fellow, and just as sure as you won't be
married long, you're going to have to pick whatever you're
going to have to pick, the other night. That's just the way it
is. But woe to him that is alone
when he falleth, for he hath none, not another, to help him
up." Oh, nobody to encourage him, nobody to say, Oh my, I'm
sorry for you, I'm sorry for what you're going through. And
then again, if two lie together, then they have heat. But how
can one be warm when he's alone? Oh, how many times we've done
that on a cold winter's night. And if one prevail against him,
two shall withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly
broken. You take a man and a woman who's
And then you put God in it as their Savior, as their Redeemer?
Who's going to tear that up? Who's going to break that court? And God gave us this marriage
to typify our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. And, beloved,
all right and scriptural relationships on this earth exist because God
meant for us to see our relationship to Him through His Son. We call
him our Father because he is the Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ, and he sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts whereby
we cry, I have a Father. And he's a friend. What about
friends? He said he's a friend that's thicker, closer than a
brother. What about a brother? He's our elder brother. And children
and parents, we're just children, and he's the parent. The Master,
he's the Master. We're the servants. And oh, just
like choosing a bride, our Lord, just like you choose a bride,
you fall in love with her and you choose one. You don't choose
everybody. You don't walk in a room and look over everybody
and say, well, I wonder who I'll choose today. You don't just
call everybody. No, no, you pick somebody and
you choose them. That's what Christ did. And He loved us especially,
and He gave Himself to us and committed to us. And He beloved
that we become the special object of His delight, and He's the
special object of our delight. And that's the way it is in this
business of marriage. But there's none more closer
than the relationship of a man and a wife. In fact, the scripture
says that Christ is called our husband. Do you know that? And
what does he call his church? The bride. The bride. And we're going to go to the
marriage supper of the Lamb. Oh, my! And we all need a helpmate. Don't we? We need someone to
be our strength, to be our encouragement, to hold us up. Well, Christ,
beloved, is so much more than our helpmate. As Eve was taken
from the side of Adam, and I've said this so many times over
the years, he didn't take her from his feet so he could walk
on her, and he didn't take her from his head so that she could
be above him, took her from his side so that they could walk
side by side and walk together. And so that to be equal with
him there, he could be under arm, to be protected near to
his heart, to be loved. That's why he took her out of
his side. And you know why I'm going to tell you why marriages
don't last. I'm going to tell you. And I think if you'll look
with me in Matthew chapter 19, I can show you from the Bible I will show you from the Bible
why it don't. Men may give a thousand reasons, and they may...Matthew
19, marriages don't last, and here God gives the In Matthew 19, the Pharisees
also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is
it lawful for a man to put away his wife for ever cause? You
see, they want to build on the basis of law. I'll tell you, the best marriage
to ever be has problems, and has had problems and will have
problems. Ain't that right? But grace, grace makes the difference. So they wanted to deal on the
basis of law. And he answered and said unto them, now they
asked him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every
cause, just any cause that he finds? And now you know a fellow
gets tired of living with his wife, or wife with a husband,
she goes and finds a lawyer and he gives her the grounds. He
said, well, we can use this ground and that ground and this other
ground. And they go down a list of things that they can say,
well, this is what you can get out of your marriage with. Now watch what he said, "'And
he answered and said unto them, Have you not read that he which made
them at the beginning made them male and female?' He goes right
back to the beginning, when God created man and took Eve out
of the sight of Adam. And he goes back, and he said,
Now this is what God said, For this cause shall a man leave
father and mother, and shall cleave.' That word cleave means
glue to. They shall cleave to his wife,
and they twain shall be one flesh." You see, in the beginning, God
made two out of one, and then He takes those two and He made
them into one. And look what happens now. Wherefore
there are no more twain, there are not two anymore, but one
flesh. One. What therefore God hath
joined together, let not man put asunder." Now watch what
they say. They don't like that. They say
unto them, why did Moses then command to give a writing of
divorcement and to put her away? Here's why he done it. He saith
unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts,
suffered you to put away your wife. But from the beginning
it was not so. supposed to be that way. You
know why that? Hardness of men's hearts. That's
the reason. Now, that's the long and the
short of it. That's the long and the short of it. What do you say about marriage?
You see what God said. What do you say about marriage? When you got married, what did
you say? What did you say? The ceremony goes like this,
"'Dearly beloved, we are gathered in the face of this covenant
to join together in holy matrimony, this man and this woman. And if any man can find a just
cause why they shouldn't be joined together, let him speak now and
forever hold his peace.' And we say, do you take this
man, do you take this to love, to cherish, to honor, to obey,
to protect all the days of your life that
you give all your goods willfully and in sickness and in health
and poverty and all, you go through a whole lot of things and everybody
says, I do, I do. And they make a vow. They make
a vow before God Almighty. That's the first place. We make
a vow before God. Not only that, but we make a
vow before the Church. We gather in front of the Church
of God, the Lord's people, and not only that, but you make a
vow to the person you're married to. You make a promise. You enter
into a covenant, and they enter into a covenant with you. And
not only that, but you make this vow to the world, that I'm going
to love her, cherish Protect her, preserve her, and keep her
alone to myself, and all my goods I'm going to share with her,
and everything that I have and do for you is hers!" And the
wife says the same thing. My body's his, my body's hers. My heart is hers, his heart is
mine. We make those vows. And oh, we say, we're going to
make a home, we're going to have children, this is what I want. Oh my. And God is the witness
to every marriage ceremony, and God will be the witness to every
violation of its vows. And we're brought down to the
final analysis, to the root of the matter, how good is your
word. Ain't that right? How good is your word? Now, if it's good in sickness
and in health, in poverty and wealth, the only thing that'll separate us
till death do us part. That's the vows we took. That's why the scriptures tell
us to leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife. The
worst thing that can happen in a marriage is mother-in-laws
and in-laws and outlaws. And you don't have to tell them
when they start interfering. We'll be all right. You just stay out
of it. Don't let your parents talk about
your wife. Don't let your parents talk about your husband. Don't
ever do that. Don't ever do that. So how can
we have a good marriage? I didn't say a perfect one. Everybody
wants a perfect one. Everybody's got this ideal. So
how can we have a good marriage? Not a perfect one, but that's
what we want. We want perfection. Well, if
you want perfection, don't you ever get married, because you're
the one that's not perfect. You say they're not perfect,
are you? But you've toughed it out all these years, and it's
more than toughing it out. There comes a time, and it's
the tough times that make the good times so wonderful. When
you go through being broke, and then when you have a little money,
it makes you really enjoy it. When you go through being sick
and the other one gets well, it makes you really appreciate
their health again. So how can we have a good marriage?
Not a perfect one. Well, I'll tell you how we can
have a good marriage. Follow God's Word. Just forget law. Just forget
law. Forget saying, Honey, now this
is what you've got to do. Just forget that. Think on the
basis of love and grace and what God did for you. Think in that
terms. Is it laughing? Don't think that. Don't think
in terms of master and servant, of Lord and subject. That's where people really mess
up. And that's why young men, young men, and I know because
I was born, I know exactly what it's like. A young man, he wants
to show how much authority he's got, right off the bat. He wants
everybody to know that this is my castle, this is my wife, and
I'm going to have my way and people are going to do what.
He's worse than a dog marking his territory. He ain't got no
sense, he just puffs up and he wants everybody to know that,
boy, here I am, I'm a man. And when he gets to about 35
or 40, he starts getting a little bit of sense. It's the wife that
has to pretty much carry it until a man grows up. Now, ain't that
the truth? That's the honest God's truth.
I know that from experience. So, listen, if you can wait until
you're thirty or thirty-five years old to get married, you'll
be better off, honestly, you will. You'll be more grown up
and it won't be so tough on you. Now, that's the truth, but that's
how we'll have a good marriage. Follow God's Word. And God said,
husbands or wives, submit yourselves to your husbands in the fear of God. God's watching
us. I'm yours. I'm yours. Just like you do the Lord. Showing
love and honor and submission. And when it talks about submission,
that's not getting down on your face like, that's not what it's
talking about. It's talking about not arguing over everything to
say I'm done. The husband's the head of the
wife. The husband's the one that's more responsible. Just like Christ
is the head of the church. He's the one who saves the body,
and we're the one who protects the body of our wives and protects
her honor. And then, I tell you how I asked
to have a successful marriage, that's why I said, Husbands,
love your wife even as Christ loved the Church and gave himself
for her. I asked him, we have a good marriage, keep your vows.
Keep your vows. You'll be tempted. Oh yeah, you'll
be tempted. You'll get frustrated. You'll
get aggravated. You'll get angry. You'll pout. You'll do everything a child
would do instead of an adult. But you made a vow. You made
a promise before God Almighty to that person you're married
to, and keep that vow. Keep it. Well, how can I do this? How can I follow God's Word,
and how can I keep my vows? First of all, you've got to have
Christ. You need Christ. You need Christ. Secondly, you
need the new birth. I'm convinced. I'm convinced
of this without a shadow of a doubt. I'm convinced of it, and I've
said it I don't know how many times over the years. If two
people who profess to be believers cannot get along and live together,
profess to be believers, if they can't live together, both of
them saying they're children of God, Believe God Almighty
and Christ as our Savior. If they can't live together,
that's a good indication one of them is unconverted or both
of them are. God's people can live together. Saved people can
live together. I believe that with all my heart. I believe that with all my heart.
I believe that our Lord even told us that if one of us, one
of us in a marriage, was to fall awful in a marriage. What's our
first responsibility if our wife or our husband comes to us and
says, forgive me? What are we to do? Forgive them
and take them back just like it never happened. That's what
Christ does to us, isn't it? How many times have we committed
spiritual adultery against him? How many times have our hearts
been drawn away from him? How many times have we not submitted
to Him? How many times have we not obeyed
Him? And yet, He always receives us and loves us and forgives
us and don't bring up our faults. Doesn't He? Ain't you glad it's
that way? Oh, we've got to have the new
birth. If you're going to do it, you've got to have that new
nature. You've got to have that nature of Christ in you. is selfish, our nature is demanding,
our nature is self-centered, our nature wants to have its
own way. I'm going to have my way else.
Throw a little temper tantrums. Some people came to talk to me
one time about their marriage and said, he got mad at me and
he hasn't been in and out of the room for two weeks. And I said, oh,
my soul said, that ain't nothing to that. Just getting mad at your wife
and getting ready to stay out to yourself for two weeks? Can
you do that? Could you get mad at Christ and
go off and hide for two weeks? Pouting because He didn't get
your way? Just go ahead and get your argument,
get out of the way and get over and done with. Whatever you've
got to do. But oh my, our corrupt nature,
that's why we need the new birth. That's why we need Christ, because
of our corrupt nature. Oh my, we're so selfish and self-centered. Everything centers around us.
And let me tell you, don't ever shut out your partner. Don't
just shut them out. Don't shut them out and say,
well, it's none of your business. It's none of your affairs. Everything
that goes on in our lives when we're married is one another's
business. It really is. Is that not right? Everything
finances us. It's our money. It's our home. It's our automobile. It's our
children. It's our health. It's our marriage. It's ours. And everything that
involves you involves her, and everything that involves her
involves you. We don't live separate lives. And don't give ultimatums. Whatever you do, don't give an
ultimatum. I know that from experience. Don't draw no line in the sand.
Because just as sure as you do, you're going to have to move
it. You're going to have to back up. How many times have we drew
that line and said, if you cross that line right there, that's
it. You back up a little bit and they'll cross and say, now
I'm going to have to tell you. You see, marriage is more than
finding the right person. It's being the right person.
It's being the right person. Instead of expecting so much
from somebody else, expect more from you. Instead of wanting
to take all the time, give. Give. And let me tell you something
else about having a good marriage, not a perfect one. Any of the
best marriages have its times. Don't compete. Don't compete
with one another. Plus one plus one equals one
in God's sight. That's the mathematic for marriage.
One plus one equals one. That's the way God views us as
one. God views Mary and I as one person. One person. And I view us that way. I told
somebody the other day, I said, I said, if you cuss her, you
cuss me. If you mistreat her, you mistreat
me. If you don't want nothing to do with her, you don't want
nothing to do with me. If you don't want to visit her, you
don't want to visit me. And that's just the way it's going to always
be. It's just God meant it to be that way. And you can't let somebody mistreat
your partner. You can't do it. Not even your
own children, you can't let your children mistreat your wife.
Your wife can't let your children mistreat your husband. You can't
do that. Your children grow and get on with their lives. You're
all going to live together till death do you part. So don't compete. We aren't competitors. We're companions. We're companions. And I tell you, there's more
at stake than just your feelings. And I'm so, oh, I get so weary
with that. You just don't know how I feel,
preacher. Oh, I do. I do. I felt it before. You ain't
felt nothing. Not one of us felt nothing that
the other ain't felt. I know what it is to get frustrated
and discouraged. All of us, we all know that.
But there's more at stake than just our feelings. There's the
church. The church. What would people
say about the church? I know them folks up there. They
preach that grace, and they preach, you know, that you're going to
be saved no matter what. No wonder them folks, they don't even believe
that you ought to stay married. They don't know us. They don't
know me. But the church, you don't want to dishonor the church.
And what about your children? What about your children? What would your children think
if they heard you? What about your friends? What
about their feelings, the church's feelings, your children's feelings,
your friends' feelings? What about your partner's feelings? What about them? Look what it
says here in verse 31, 32, and I'm through. And this is why. This is why. We can't go on our feelings.
We've made our vows, we've made our promises, and we're like
I forget the king's name. But when he came in, he says,
the first person, he said, God, if you deliver me, the first
person I'll see, I'll offer. And here's his daughter, his only
daughter. And he said, I raised my hand to God and I cannot go
back. And that's the way it is in marriage. We've raised our
hand to God and we cannot go back. cannot go back. And he says, for this cause,
verse 30, we are members of his body. Isn't that what God said,
what Adam said about his wife Eve? She's the bone of my bone
and the flesh of my flesh. We're a member of Christ's body,
of his flesh and of his body. And for this cause shall a man
leave his father and mother, shall be joined unto his wife,
and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but
I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let
every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as he
loves himself, and the wife see that she reverends her husband.
Don't compete with him. And let me tell some of you folks
that are single, you young people especially, in closing. If you're a believer, only date
believers, because if you don't, you're
talking about asking for trouble. You're asking for trouble. That's
just like putting a mule and a horse in the same harness.
It don't work. They're unequally yoked together.
God says don't do it. God said, don't do it. If you're
single and you're considering marriage, and more than some
of you young folks one of these days will, don't you hook up
with an unbeliever. That's against the Word of God. And it'll make your life rough.
You think it's tough now. That's like jumping out of a
frying pan into the fire. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't go against God. It'll cost
you. It'll cost you. If you think,
if you confess to be a believer and you intend to get married, find you somebody that knows
Christ. Find you somebody and say, well, I don't know anybody
around. Go where they are then. There's conferences all over.
At least talk about getting back there a million to go. Ask Eric
and Jessica Freeman. Eric is down here in one of our
meetings. She is up here. She's just a young girl. And
somebody introduced them to one another, and they shook hands,
and bam, lightning struck. And they haven't been able to
separate them since. And that's the way it is. You
go where the Lord's people gather. Where the Lord's people gather.
And perhaps God's got somebody for you. You young people especially. You know how you mothers and
fathers, you worked your children to marry and believe are so much,
so much. I hope that's been a blessing
tonight. Our Father, our gracious, eternal God, in the blessed name
of the Lord Jesus, we come to you with thankful hearts. Thank
you for this service. The songs were so good, sung
so well. This scripture reading was so
good, and the prayer, Lord, blessed our hearts. We thank you, Lord, for the good
attention of your people. I know that it's a tough subject.
I know that we have so much of our fallen nature in us that
we resist. But, O Lord, make us a people,
Lord, with full of love and full of grace. and help us to always
honor you. Keep to our word. Bring glory
to your holy name. Let us be last. Let our feelings
and our emotions and our wants and needs and desires to always
be last. Help us to always put someone
else's before ours, our wives and our children's, and the Church
and our Lord Jesus especially. Help us to honor him who alone
is worthy. And Father, remember again, we
ask you for our children. Oh, God, speak to them in such
a way that they'll hear. You said the hour is coming,
and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of
God, and they that hear shall live. Oh, God, they're dead. And may there be an hour when
they'll hear your voice and live. We thank you in Christ's name.
Amen.