I invite your attention back
to Matthew chapter 26. The title of my message this
morning is Understanding and Not Knowing. Understanding and
Not Knowing. These words are spoken on the
night our Lord instituted the memorial of His death, which
He should die at Jerusalem. In one form or another, they
are recorded in every one of the Gospels. In Mark chapter
14, after our Lord said, One of you shall betray Me, the disciples,
it says, began to be sorrowful and to say unto Him one by one,
Is it I? And another said, Is it I? In Luke 22 and verse 23, after
the Lord said, One of you shall betray Me, it says, they began
to inquire among themselves which one of them it was that should
do this thing. And in John 13, verse 22, when
He said, One of you shall betray Me, it says, Then the disciples
looked one on another, doubting or wondering of whom He spake,
of whom He spake. These are the words of stalwart
men. These are the words of men who
loved Jesus Christ. Men who had left hearth and home
and livelihood to follow Jesus Christ. These are men who would
suffer greatly because of their love for Jesus Christ. In Mark chapter 10, it speaks
of them leaving all. They said, we have left all for
Thee. And our Lord said, you've gained a great deal too by leaving
all for Me. Many houses, many mothers, many
fathers, many brothers, many sisters. But in this world, tribulation
and eternal life in the world to come. And some of these men
would later be inspired to record their own words here in these
Gospels. And still later would pin many
of the epistles to the churches in the New Testament. James,
Peter, and John, who are present here, had been eyewitnesses to
the transfiguration of Jesus Christ when His face did shine
brighter than the noonday sun. They had been there on the Mount
and saw Moses and Elijah somehow bend time and appear in conference
four centuries after they had died, speaking of the death that
Jesus Christ should accomplish at Jerusalem. They had seen the
Lord feed thousands with a few fishes and loaves of bread. They had seen the Lord raise
the dead. They had seen the Lord heal the
sick and the lame and restore sight to the blind and hearing
to the deaf. They had seen the Lord fill the
mute's mouth with words and a voice. They had seen the Lord call a
fish from the deep. to pay tribute to Caesar with
a coin in a fish's mouth. They had heard his words for
three years and they knew that he taught as one that had authority
and not as the scribes and the Pharisees. They walked faithfully
with him for three years. These men were dedicated to Jesus
Christ. These men who loved Jesus Christ
were dedicated to him. These were men who were believers, who often found themselves filled
with unbelief. They were followers of Christ,
and many of them would be martyred or exiled for the cause of Christ. They knew some things about Christ.
When our Lord said, Whom do men say that I am in Matthew chapter
16? Some say, well, some say you're Moses, and some say you're
Jeremiah, some say you're Elijah. Well, who do you say that I am?
And Simon Peter said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living
God. Christ said, Blessed art thou,
Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood is not revealed as to you,
but the Father which is in heaven. When so many disciples left Simon
Peter, or left the Lord Jesus Christ, our Lord looked to His
disciples and said, Will you leave us also? Simon Peter said,
To whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal
life, and we know, or we believe and are sure that Thou art the
Christ, the Son of the living God. And here on the night our
Lord instituted the Lord's table, every one of them without exception
were at a loss. concerning themselves when the
Lord declared that one of them would betray Him. Every one of
them were at a loss. Now we know that he spake of
Judas who would sell Jesus Christ to the legal men for thirty pieces
of silver. But it was obvious that this
one who was a traitor at heart did not know himself whether
he was the one of whom the Lord spake. He didn't know. And it
is likewise obvious that the other eleven disciples did not
suspect it to be anyone but themselves. I'm sure that every one of them
felt as Peter did later in the chapter. In verse 23 of Luke
chapter 22. If you'll look over there. And they began to require themselves. What I'm looking down is when
Peter... Oh, verse 33, not 23. This is
the way they probably all felt about themselves generally. Peter
said, Lord, I'm ready to go with Thee both to prison and to death.
I'm ready to die for You. You know what you'd do? Don't
you feel in your heart that you'd die for Jesus Christ? Go to prison
for Jesus Christ? That was what they were ready
to do. Perhaps Simon at this time was
bolstered by the knowledge that the betrayer had already been
revealed. But I think it was the heart's desire of them all,
even Judas up until the time that he would accomplish his
own purpose. These were men, blessed men, called and chosen
men. They were believers who understood
many things and at the same time were painfully unaware of who
they were. And they are us. They are us. The words they spoke on that
wondrous night are the thoughts of our own heart. What they did
just a while later when the sword of justice was pulled from its
scabbard and thrust into the heart of the master is not beyond
our behavior. They scattered. And so would we. So did we. They scattered as it was written
that they would. We don't know what is written
for our lives. We don't know what the next page
holds. If the next page is blank, we don't know. But if our hearts are true, we know that in the blink of
an eye, we too could betray our Lord. We can do it. And in thought, if not in word
or deed, we've done so a thousand times every day of our life. Lord, is it I? That's what they
say. Lord, is it I? These are the
words of the believer. Not the unbeliever. The believer
who has come to some sense of himself and his utter dependency
upon Jesus Christ to keep him. The man thinks he stands, God
says. Let him take heed lest he fall. Master, Lord, is it I? Is it I? And I see in these words
a revelation of the estate of everyone who is born of God,
everyone who has been given spiritual life, everyone who has an unction
from on high, everyone who knows all things. These words reveal
the spiritual man who discerns all things, yet is discerned
by no one, including himself. Men like to say things like,
well, if I know my own heart, you don't. You don't know your
own heart. It's deceitful and desperately
wicked, desperately sick. Men like to talk about finding
out who they are. Finding out who they are. But
the believing man or woman is more apt to say, I have no idea
about my own heart. And that worries me. That concerns
me. The believer is more apt to say,
I do not trust my own integrity. The believer is more apt to say,
Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief. And Luke records this
dilemma for us in the account that he has in Luke chapter 22. Here we have the disciples saying,
Lord, is it I? In verse 22, it says, Verse 21, But behold, the
hand of him that betrayed me is on the table. And truly the
Son of man goeth as it was determined, but woe unto him by whom it is
betrayed. And they began to inquire among
themselves which of them it was that should do these things.
Now look at the next verse. And there was also strife among
them, which of them should be accounted the greatest. That's us. Isn't that a sad report
on humanity? What do these words teach us
about those who follow Christ? I began thinking on this message
Friday after I left the hospital after seeing Ralph for a few
minutes. I was driving out of the parking
lot and there was a sign on the back of the SUV that said, Won't you invite Jesus into your heart? And I thought about that. My first thought was, why would
He want to be there to begin with? And then this verse came to my
mind. If you had asked these fellows
that night, won't you invite Jesus into your heart? They'd
say, He won't be there. Because they didn't even know
if they'd betray Him. Master, Lord, is it I? What do we learn
here? First, these words of self-doubt
teach us that these men are believers. Seems odd, doesn't it? But they
are. They are believers. Though Simon
Peter would falter and unbelieve and himself betray Christ just
a little while later, he as well as the rest of these men were
believers save for the son of perdition. When Christ told them
that one would betray them, they did not question the fact of
it. Did they? They didn't say, that can't be
so. They didn't say, well, it must be so and so. These men
believed the Lord Jesus Christ. They believed the fact that His
Word was truth. He said, one of you is going
to betray Me. And they said, Master, is it
I? Is it I? They wondered individually even
to the point of asking me if it would be themselves. But because
the Lord had said it, they believed it. They believed it. This is the heart of all who
know Jesus Christ. They believe His words. They
believe His words. Though they may wonder at them
and admit that they are often too high and holy for them to
fully grasp, And there's much more about the Scriptures that
I don't understand than that which I do understand. They believe
it's God's Word. And so it's to them, there's
no question. If the Lord says to them, someone's
going to betray me, the first person they point to is the Lord's
Master, is it I? They believe. Barney used to
say this, show me a man who believes the Bible and I'll show you a
Christian. I agree. If you really believe
the Bible. The first revealer of a man's
loss of state is when he can look at the Word of God and say,
I don't believe it. I shudder when I hear people
say things like that, but they say that. Talk to them about
this scripture, that scripture. They say, I don't believe that.
Where did it come up with that? How can a person, a human being,
a worm of the dust, hold his own opinion up against the very
Word of Almighty God who has stood the test of time, who's
backed up by the very authority of Heaven, the Word that has
changed men's lives, that has turned horrible, wicked men into
saints? I don't believe it. That's a
mark of a lost man. If the Lord has spoken, Like
old Scott Richard said, that's all they are to it. And whether
you believe or not, it's the Lord's Word. It's the Lord's
Word. Adding to it or taking from it
and placing your opinion above it or even alongside it is to
prove yourself a heretic. The word opinion in the Greek,
the root word for opinion is heresy. That's the word for opinion. What does that mean? That means
God's Word is so. Don't opine. Don't debate. Bow. Bow. To doubt the words
of Christ, to not believe the Gospel and what it reveals about
you is to hold back the truth in unrighteousness and ungodliness
and the wrath of God is revealed against you. When our Lord spoke
these words, the disciples did not doubt His veracity. They
doubted their integrity. This is a good mark of the child
of God. When the possibility of wrongdoing comes to your attention,
if you're His child, you'll point your finger at yourself and not
somebody else. And you'll know that there's
a telephone pole in your eye and a splinter in your brother's
eye and you won't be bothered with the splinter in your brother's
eye. They believed Him and wondered about themselves. wanted about
themselves. So the mark here is these men
are believers. They believe Christ. You look at some people today
who are religious people and say, you're going to betray Christ?
They'll say, that'll never happen. But any believer, you say, you're
going to betray Christ? And he says, how often? I already
have. And tomorrow will be the same. I know. Secondly, these words
of self-doubt reveal that these men understood the fact of their
own depravity. And this is what is known by
every believer. This is understood. The one who betrays Christ might
be, probably will be, me. I'll be the one to do it. I look
at you and say, oh, that won't happen. But I know what's in
my heart. To some degree, I know the depravity
of my own soul. I haven't plumbed the depths
I don't hope to. But I know this, if somebody's going to betray
Christ, it'll probably be me. That's what these understood.
Master, is it I? It's not a thing that we relish,
but it's basic understanding that comes with spiritual life.
We have not risen to a higher plane. Christianity ain't up
here. Christianity ain't some deeper
philosophical life. What is Christianity? It's a
person saying, I'm the one who's going to betray Christ. That's
an understanding of your own spiritual condition by nature.
We've not risen to a higher plane. We've not entered into a deeper
life. We're not above sin. Though Henry Mahan did say that
one time about, he said he was living above sin because I was
in a motel room directly below him. In a motel in West Virginia,
Henry leaned over the balcony and said, I'm finally living
above sin. And I told him, I'm finally living below contempt. We're not above sin. We haven't
beat it. We haven't overcome it. We can
be honest for just a moment. We will know that we are beneath
contempt. While at the same time, we know
that before God, as a believer, we stand accepted as righteous
and holy before Him. The believer knows that he is
depraved. He is embarrassed by it, and yet he knows in his heart
that Christ came to save such. Paul said, saying, worthy of all expectation,
Jesus Christ come into the world to save sinners of whom I am
chief. What these men did when they said, Master, is it I, was
a confession of the fact of depravity. It's not the common pap of all
men that are quick to say that they are not perfect. This is
the heart's declaration and understanding that if there is betraying to
be done, More than likely, it will be my doing. Master, is
it I? And the third thing, and finally,
these words of self-doubt are a revelation that we do not know
the depths of our depravity. We know we're depraved, but we
don't know the depths of it. We know that it goes far beyond
what we want to know about ourselves. I don't want to know any more
about myself than I already know. I really don't. It's been said
that progressive sanctification is the doctrine of a young man
who still has vigor and strength and thinks he can do something
about his situation. But I know this, I look out upon
this group of people and I see hoary hairs on your head and
I know you know this, that it don't get easier. It gets harder. The longer we live, the blacker
we see our heart to be, the frailer we know ourselves to be. We are
constantly reminded of our depravity, but we don't know the depths
of it, but we fear the depths of it. We know that the thrust of the
gospel is designed to bring us a state of peace. How? By causing
our eyes to look away from ourselves. I know people like to do soul
contemplation and like to spend time looking at their navel and
meditate about this and that, you know. Let me tell you what I find every
time I look at myself. Terror. Terror. Let me tell you what
I find when I look away from myself. Peace. Always peace. and nothing in
us. What we do know of our depravity
makes us quake inside. We are more filled with wonder
when we believe than when we find ourselves in unbelief. Aren't
we? If God lifts His restraining grace,
but for a moment there are no depths that we will not plumb.
You know that about yourself. You understand that? We all have murder in us. We do. Right now, there's murder
in us. Thievery, maliciousness, every
form of debauchery and vileness known to man and then some. Right
now, the prayer of the Lord's people is simple, Lord, keep
me or I'll not be kept. I can't keep myself. We don't
know the depths of our depravity. We're kind of like old Hazel
when confronted with our sin. Hazel was sent to talk to the
prophet by Ben-Hadad because Ben-Hadad was sick on his bed
and dying or didn't know whether he was going to or not. He sent
Hazel to talk to the prophet and ask him if he was going to
live. And Hazel said, I've come to ask you. if the king's going
to get better from his sickness?" And old Elijah fixed his eyes
on him and said, yeah, he's going to get better, but
you're going to reign in his stead. You're going to kill him. And he fixed his eyes on that
boy and just looked at him. And then the prophet began to
weep. And Haziel said, what am I, a dog? You think I'm some
kind of dog that I'd kill the king? He didn't know his own
depravity. He didn't know. Went back to
the king. King said, what did he say? He
said, you're going to be all right. King says, good. Then the king
closed his eyes, and Haziel went and got a wet towel, put it on
his face, and smothered him to death. Smothered him to death. He did not believe that he could
kill King Ben-Hadad. But when the opportunity arose,
he could not keep himself from smothering the life out of him.
And listen to me very carefully. If God lifts His hand of restraining
grace from you for one second, think of anything that any human
being could do that is even utterly appalling to you. You can do
it and you won't be able to stop yourself. Don't mistake God's restraining power for your
personal righteousness. You don't have any. Masters and
I, they understood, didn't they? They got some sense. We didn't
think, maybe we don't even think it now. If we'd been back in
that crowd, we'd have killed Christ. I kind of figured we would because
we don't even like the authority of local police to reign over
us, do we? And this time of the year, I've
never heard people talk about the federal government like I've
heard in these last few days. It's awful. We don't like natural authority,
you know, on a very low level. How would it be if someone said,
I'm your God, and he looked just like us? and said, I'm going
to reign over you. I'm going to decide who's in
my kingdom and who ain't. How would you like that? Well,
you'd kill him. You'd kill him. When given the
opportunity, the depravity of our hearts gathered to herd us
and punch and spout at the Jews and the Gentiles to destroy Christ
rather than have Him reign over us. If we are saved, It is totally
by grace, and we know this because we know that we don't know the
depths of our depravity. When confronted with the fact
that someone will betray Christ, the immediate response of the
believer is simply this, Lord, is it I? Is it I? Look over at Psalm 143
with me. Psalm 143. Listen to the plea of David the
king. If you've got a pencil or a pen,
I want you to underline some things and just sort of mark
this in your Bible. And when you think you've arrived,
turn back to this. David said, Hear my prayer, O
Lord, give ear to my supplication. In Thy faithfulness answer me,
and in Thy righteousness, here's the first thing to underline,
and enter not into judgment with Thy servant. For in Thy sight shall no man
live, let him be justified. For the enemy hath persecuted
my soul, he hath smitten my life down to the ground. He hath made
me to dwell in darkness as those that have been long dead. Therefore
is my spirit overwhelmed within me. My heart within me is desolate.
I remember the days of old. I meditate on all thy works.
I muse on the works of thy hands. I stretch forth my hands unto
thee. My soul thirsts after thee as a thirsty land. Selah." Underline
the next two words. Hear me. Speedily. Oh Lord, my spirit
faileth. Underline these words. Hide not
thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down to the
pit. Underline the next two words. Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness
in the morning, for in thee do I trust. Cause me again to know
the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my soul unto thee.
Next two words, deliver me, O Lord. For mine enemies, I flee unto
Thee to hide me. Teach me, underline that, to
do Thy will. For Thou art my God and my spirit
is good. Lead me, understand that, into
the land of uprightness. Quicken me, O Lord, for Thy name's
sake, for Thy righteousness' sake. Bring my soul out of trouble. and in Thy mercy cut off all
mine enemies and destroy all them that afflict my soul for
I am Thy servant." What does David take as a task
that he must accomplish himself in his life? Nothing. Nothing. Hear me. Hide me. Cause me. Cause me. Deliver me.
Teach me. Lead me. Quicken me. Bring my
soul. and good psalm for an old, depressed
sinner like me. Let the words of Simon Peter
as he began to sink beneath the waves after walking on water
be our mantra as we live in this life. Lord, save me or I perish. And when an accusation comes
your way, And they will. Point your finger here. Not out
there. Right here. And say, Lord, is
it I? Is it I? Father, bless us for
our understanding. We'll pray in Christ's name.