My Independence

“For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” - Galatians 1:10

    I’ll never forget the day when I was 26 years old and brought into the office of the main elder of my church.  Three elders sat behind the desk and were staring at me.  “Why haven’t you tithed in the last few months," they asked me.

    I replied, “I don’t believe in tithing.  I believe in giving, as I don’t see tithing as a requirement for believers in Scripture.”  You should have seen their jaws drop.  The look on their incredulous faces lasted only for a few moments before they brought up the fact that the ancient Israelites were commanded to tithe, and that I am being disobedient by not tithing as well. 

    I calmly replied, “I’ve been studying the scriptures, and I have recently concluded that I’m not under the law, but saved by grace in Christ, who freed me from the law.  Furthermore, I am willing to give as the Lord places it on my heart.”  I also rattled off the scriptures I had memorized, such as, “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver… Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”  (2 Corinthians 9:7, Galatians 5:1)

    We went back and forth, and instead of being praised for reading the Bible, I was criticized for studying the scriptures without their oversight and admonished to come to them for understanding.  Eventually they concluded to remove me from any sort of ministry responsibilities in the church as well as removing me from their theological studies program. A few weeks later I was told I was too independently minded, and I shouldn’t attend there anymore and should go find a church that is more aligned with my way of thinking. I was devastated. My heart ached at their rejection. I’ll never forget calling my wife up explaining that we were no longer welcome at the church and I drove home in tears. 

   Looking back on that event, nearly 25 years later, I am extremely thankful for this event.  My views on tithing and law for the believer have not changed.  I’ve since found churches that agree with me on this, and I’m very happy.  And I’ve maintained my fiercely independent spirit when it comes to reading the scriptures, forming what it is I believe, and analyzing the world around me.  I do not depend solely upon the words of any man to determine what I should think or believe.  I look to Christ, and to Him alone, and I lean upon the Spirit to guide me into all truth.

    And isn’t this the way it should be for all believers?  I do not deny that we are to be interdependent upon each other, and that we should seek out each other for advice and help discerning the Scriptures.  But when it comes down to it, each of us stands alone before the Lord and our conscience.  Ultimately, it is the Holy Spirit who guides us and leads us into all truth and understanding.  The problem arises when church leaders abuse their authority and try to dictate to us what we should or shouldn’t believe.  And this abuse is hard to avoid for any church leader.

    As a parent, I’ve fallen into this trap, trying to dictate what my son should believe as he was growing up, rather than feeding him with the truth and relying upon the Lord to lead him as He sees fit.  All of God’s people are on a journey of discovery.  But as a leader, you desperately want those that are underneath you to instantly agree with you, and you can sometimes fall into the trap of trying to force opinions and manipulate the beliefs of other people instead of relying upon the Spirit to guide them.  And it’s easy to do so, especially when you think you are right about everything.  It’s a terrible trap as you often end up creating the opposite outcome of what you intended.

    Nobody learns all the truth at once and I continue to learn more about God, and His scriptures as I age.   I’ve changed my views countless times, and I expect I will continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18).  My views will continue to be strictly my own, and not shaped by creeds, confessions, or the direct interpretations of any church leader, but shaped strictly upon my understanding of the scriptures as the Spirit leads me. 

    And I know that by maintaining my fiercely independent stance, I will more than likely continue to be rejected for any sort of church leadership.  I believe most church leaders, even sovereign grace preachers, will never accept me into their own ranks for being this way.  They want me to fit in nicely and neatly and to bow to their will.  But I won’t.  I can’t.  It’s not in my theological DNA.  Oh sure, I’ve found myself trying to fit in at times, submitting to extraneous church rules that I don't necessarily agree with, but the Lord always brings me right back to where I started on this journey to the Celestial City.  I am but a pilgrim, and it is the LORD who is my Shepherd who leads me and guides me as I progress through this life.  And I will follow HIM.  As much as I respect, and am thankful for the pastors and preachers and their leadership that the Lord has placed in my life, I will continue to submit to their authority, but only to a point.  I cannot and will not violate my conscience.  And I will obey the Lord rather than men.