Ephesians 5. I've been thinking about this message
for some time. I'd like to begin reading in
verse 21. Submitting yourselves one to
another in the fear of God. The first half of this thought
begins several verses before. It says, Be not drunk with wine
wherein is excess, verse 18, but be filled with the Spirit,
speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Giving thanks always for all
things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus
Christ. Submitting yourselves one to
another in the fear of God. We live in a generation in which
no one wants to be told to submit themselves to anybody. We often
meet with the word stiff-necked in scripture. And the metaphor
is that of an ox or a mule or some sort of working animal that's
unaccustomed to a bridle or a yoke. And when it's put upon them,
they stiffen up their neck and they don't want to have any part
of it. And that's indeed the heart of
rebellious sinners. That's the heart in our old nature
within every one of us who believe. And yet no sinner shall enter
into the kingdom of heaven without complete submission to Christ
Jesus the Lord. Many profess to have submitted
to Him, put on a fairly good show. But submission to the Lord
involves more than just an outward pretense of submission, devotion. Submission is from the heart. It's a broken and contrite spirit
created in the heart by the power of the Lord. And quite frankly,
an unregenerate sinner don't even know what it is, or looks
like, or feels like, or has any resemblance to. And one who has
submitted to the Lord from the heart is submissive to others
too. Not ought to be, he is. To brethren, to those in positions
of authority in business, in government, in the home, and
believers don't need any other reason than this right here.
Christ is the authority. He is our Lord and our King. If we've submitted to him, then
we'll submit ourselves to one another in the fear of God. If we haven't submitted to him,
we'll put on a pretense of submission, but there'll be no reverence
to God whatsoever. Matthew Henry said, where there
is this mutual condescension and submission, the duties of
all relations will be the better performed. One of the best illustrations
that we have for submission is Christ's marriage to an authority
over His bride, the church. And therefore this relationship
is given as one illustration of true submission. The whole
of what is given here in verses 22 through verse 33 is concerning
Christ and His bride. That's what Paul tells us in
verse 32 when he says, this is a great mystery. The things he
said before are a great mystery, what we're going to look at today.
But he says, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Hawker
said, Paul might well call this a mystery, yea, a great mystery,
for all the shadows of it sink to nothing in comparison of the
substance. And indeed, all the affections
and relations of life between man and man are less than nothing
when we look to our relationship in Christ. It doesn't matter
this morning when you're sitting there if you're married or if
you're single. That's why I began with verse
21, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. It doesn't matter if we're married
or we're single. If we'd understand what it is to submit ourselves
to one another as believers, and to those God has set an authority
over us in this world, then we must understand that Christ is
Lord. All authority is His. Submission
to one another begins with heart submission to Him. Where there
is no heart submission to Him, there will be no heart submission
to one another. Now let's see Paul, how he uses
a husband and a wife to illustrate Christ's dominion in the believer's
submission to Him. Begin at verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands. The title of this message is
submission. Just simply submission. That's a big enough word. We
don't need any other words to go with it. We'll spend all our
life learning what submission is. Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is
the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,
and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Christ is the head of the church.
He and He is the Savior of the body. Christ was set up from
everlasting as the head and husband of the church. There can be no
head without a body. And there can be no husband without
a bride. And scriptures tell us, Proverbs
8, 23, he says, I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning
or ever the earth was, and my delights were with the sons of
men. Isaiah chapter 54 and verse 5
says, Thy maker is thine husband. The Lord of hosts is his name,
and thy Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of the whole
earth, shall he be called. Everything that's come to pass
and everything that shall come to pass is ordained by God that
our Maker, our Husband, the Lord of a multitude, our Redeemer,
the Holy One of Israel, the God of the whole earth shall be glorified
as such. Our head, this thing that sits
right here that is not just a hat rack, this thing right here governs
our bodies if we're in our right mind. It governs our bodies and
it keeps the whole body safe from harm. So it is with Christ. He's the head of the church.
He's the Savior of the body. The church, you and I, believers,
are in subjection to our Lord, to our King. He rules all things
for His glory and for the good of His people. And knowing this,
we can subject ourselves to Him, be subject to Him, submit to
Him, to one another and to rulers and those that He's placed in
authority because of who it is that rules us. And Ephesians 5.24 here says,
Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ... Here's the illustration. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, as believers who make up the body of Christ are
subject to Him, So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." This bride respects him because
he's proven himself faithful to her. When I was starting out
in marriage, there was a wise elder that said to me, Respect
cannot be demanded. Respect comes as you prove yourself
faithful. And that's how the Lord saves
sinners. He said, I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore, I drove you to submission. No. Therefore, in loving kindness,
I drew you to myself. She was once the bride of Mr. Law. That was her husband. And he was a strict husband. He pulled out the white glove
and he went through the house, the whole house, and he put his
finger on everything in that house and picked up the least
little bit of dirt and brought it to her and said, look at this
woman. Don't you see this right here, how filthy this house is? And he said nothing good, nothing
loving, nothing merciful, nothing gracious to her, and never gave
her any inclination that she could do anything to make him
love her. Because he was Mr. Law, and that's what Mr. Law
does. He condemns. He doesn't show
any love. He condemns. But when she died
in Christ Jesus the Lord, Mr. Law said, A wife's gone and he
moved on to another bride, to another woman that he could treat
the same way. But now, through mercy and grace,
she's free to be married to another, even our Lord Jesus Christ. And
he's a loving husband. He's merciful and he's gracious. And he takes her in his arms
and he says, I've done everything for you. I've provided everything
for you so that you don't have to lift a finger And she says,
I'll do whatever you tell me to do because I love you. Because he proved himself faithful
to her and didn't try to make her subject herself to him. She
made her willing by his love to say, I'll do whatever you
want me to do. I love you. Verse 25 says, Husbands, Now we come to husbands. And we'll spend more time here. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the
church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse
it with the washing of water by the word. that he might present
it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Husbands, love your wives even
as Christ also loved the church. How did Christ love the church? How did Christ love the church? He loved her freely, everlastingly, and he manifested in loving kindness
to her. Husbands sometimes need to be
reminded, I do, you remember how you loved your wife the day
you married her? Remember that? Mine could do
no wrong. She couldn't do any wrong. None. I promised to love her, vowed
to God to love her in good times or bad times, for better or for
worse, till death do us part. And I was glad to say it. I was happy to say it because
that's my bride. I love her. That's my bride.
Do you love her the same today as you did then? Do you love
her the same today as you did then? Well, I try to, but she's changed.
Well, he's changed, you know. My husband's not like he was.
My wife's not like she was. I don't imagine we're the same
hunk of burning love we were when they fell in love with us
either. Why do you love her? Why do you love her? Why do you
love Him? The Lord's bride in herself changed. She changed from when He first
loved her. She was chosen in Christ the
Holy One before the world began, and she was as the King's daughter,
all glorious within, in her clothing of wrought gold, because she
was chosen in Him. When Christ married his bride
and took a vow to love her for better or for worse, before the
foundation of the world, she was holy and without blame before
him in love. He loved her because she was
chosen in him. But she changed. She changed. When Adam came along and sinned
in the garden and all mankind fell into total depravity, the
bride changed. Like Gomer. who was married to
Hosea, she went to her harlot practicing being a harlot and
practicing adultery and left her first love. She left him
and went after her lovers. And yet his love for his bride
never changed. That's for better or for worse.
His pride for her wasn't based on anything in her. His love
for her was based on His grace. His sovereign holiness. That's
what His love was based on. Christ, your Husband, your Hosea,
who loved His bride so freely and so everlastingly that He
sent the Gospel unto you, saying, Plead with your mother, plead,
for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband. Let her therefore
put away her whorehoms out of her sight and her adulteries
from between her breasts. Christ, our Husband, our Hosea,
laid bread and water and wool and flax and oil and drink at
our door all the days when we played the harlequins. But just
like Gomer, we praised ourselves for these things, saying, I'll
go after my lovers that give me my bread and my water, my
wool and my flax, my oil and my drink. We said, as Gomer did,
these are my rewards that my lovers have given me. She didn't know that I gave her
corn and wine and oil and multiplied her silver and gold, which they
prepared for Baal. And though his bride went from
bad to worse, though she changed, though she rebelled against him
in the most shameful manner, Christ our husband drew out his
heart to her. He drew out his heart to her.
Go yet, love a woman, beloved of a friend, yet an adulteress,
according to the love of the Lord toward the children of Israel.
who looked to other gods and loved flagons of wine. And he
says, so I bought her to myself for 15 pieces of silver, for
an omer of barley and a half omer of barley. He loved her
and therefore he gave himself for his bride to church. He was
willing because he loved her to do whatever it took to save
her from this awful change that had come about upon her. Even
if it meant that He would have to be born of a woman, born into
this sinful, wretched Egypt, this dry desert, this waste,
howling wilderness, and walk in it with everyone contrary
to Him. Even if it meant He'd have to
go to the cross and suffer the wrath of God in her room instead
to buy her and purchase her and make her robe her in that white
garment again. He'd do anything for her because
He loved her. That's what love does. That's what love does. He submitted Himself as a servant
to the Father. He didn't exalt Himself. He didn't
go His own way. He didn't try to... He submitted
Himself to His Father. And He came to where she was.
And He saved her by His own blood. by the very blood of His own
veins. He poured out His blood and He
saved her. Verse 26 says that He might sanctify
and cleanse the church with the washing of water by the Word.
That He might present it to Himself. To Himself. A glorious church. Not having spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
And it came to her through this Word. And this is how He washed
her. And this is how He cleanses her.
And this is how He sanctified her. He comes to her like Hosea.
And He revealed His great love for her saying, Thou shalt abide
for me many days. Thou shalt not play the harlot.
And thou shalt not be for another man. And so I also will be for
thee. I'm not going to leave you or
forsake you. I'm not going to turn away from you to do you
good. I'm the one that brought you the oil and the wine and
the water. I provided for you all the days
when you were going in your rebellion. And not only that, but I provided
for you when nobody else would have anything else to do with
you. And not only that, but I'm the
one that brought the Word to you to say, now you're mine. You'll be for me. And she beheld
Him and said, I'm yours. That's how He loved the church.
That's the freeness with which he loved the church. But why
was it? Why did he love the church like
this? Why was it he loved his bride like this? Why did he love
her so when she was such an unfaithful wife and so full of rebellion?
Why was she so stiff-necked and didn't want to do what he said?
Why did he love her like this? Look at Ephesians 5.29. For no
man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth
it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, of his bones." This is a great mystery. Paul
said, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Christ
our husband nourisheth and cherisheth the church, not because of what
she could do for him, He did it because by sovereign
grace, He's a member of His own body, of His flesh, and of His
bones. Just as He was created from Adam's
rib, so too every chosen child of God make up the church of
God and were created in Christ Jesus, for Christ Jesus, and
are one with Christ Jesus. Just as surely as that finger
right there is a part of my body. Bone of His bone and flesh of
His flesh. One with Him. That's why He nourished
her and cherished her. For no man ever yet hated his
own body. That's His body. Every member of that body is
His body. And He's the head of that body.
And He loves that body. And He gave Himself for that
body. And verse 28 says, So ought men
to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his
wife loveth himself. Verse 32 says, He that loveth
his wife loveth himself. Verse 28, I'm sorry. He that
loveth his wife loveth himself, for no man ever yet hated his
own flesh. That's it, preacher. That's the
problem I have between me and my wife. I just don't love myself. I'm deaf, but I can smell, and
you take that dung somewhere else because that self-righteous
stink is what it is. The problem is not that a sinner
doesn't love himself. He loves himself too much. That's
the problem. No one but a regenerated sinner
loves his own body in a godly way. But the unregenerate man,
or the carnal man, he does everything he does and it's harmful to his
own body. Even though he loves it and runs
in it and relishes it, it's harmful for his own body. He may call
it, I'm going to do what I'm darn well pleased to do. It's
what I like to do. But it's not good for Him. His
affection is all out of whack. It's evil lust is all it is.
And one who's not submitted to Christ will not submit to anyone. Not anyone. His children are
just just tokens for his own glory. That's all they are. He
don't love them. He don't care a thing in the world about them.
His wife is a doormat he uses just to gratify his own filthy
flesh. That's it. He shows no honor to his own
parents who raised him and nurtured him because he's in love with
one and one alone. He finds fault with everyone
in the church he attends but himself. He won't submit to an
employer. He rebels against authority of
every kind, the police, political leaders, pastors, anyone and
everyone but himself. An unregenerate, stiff-necked
sinner believes all men ought to bow to him because in rebellion
against the king, in rebellion against the king, in rebellion
against the king, he has exalted himself as a king. He may say he don't love himself
and put on some show of piety and humility, but that's even
just love for himself. Putting on a good show. The sinner whom God has made
to behold Christ, the King, who loved us and gave Himself for
us, That sinner truly is brought to bow and submit and subject
himself to the Lord Jesus Christ. And that sinner doesn't see himself
as anything. He's nothing apart from the One
whom he loves. And therefore, you won't find
him defending himself. You won't find him rebelling
against you or rousing up an objection to you unless it's
against the one he loves. And even then, even then, if
he speaks an unkind word, it will weigh on his heart until
he can come back to you and tell you he's sorry for saying it. because he's been brought to
see what submission is. And submission is bowing to Christ
and trusting Him alone. Have you ever wondered why the
institution of marriage exists? Have you ever wondered why the
marriage exists? Ephesians 5, verse 31, for this
cause. for this cause." Everything I've
been telling you right here for this cause. For this cause shall
a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his
wife and they too shall be one flesh. because Christ joined Himself
to His bride, and they are one flesh. For this same reason,
a man is going to leave his father and his mother, and he is going
to be joined to his wife as one flesh, because God ordained the
institution to glorify His Son, to glorify our Husband. And it's like all other positions
of authority. They glorify God. Look at Ephesians
6.1 there. Children, obey your parents in
the Lord, for this is right. Why? Because it glorifies the
Son of God who honored His Father and obeyed His Father in all
regards. Ephesians 6.4 says, Fathers,
provoke not your children to wrath. Why? Because it glorifies
God. Father, and the Son, and the
Holy Spirit, whose tender love toward His Son nourished Him
and cherished Him, and His love toward His elect children. That's
why we need another reason. That's enough. Ephesians 6, verse
5, Be obedient to them that are your masters according to the
flesh with fear and trembling and singleness of your heart.
Why? Because it glorifies Christ the servant of God whose heart
was set on one single purpose of glorifying Him. Need another
reason? Masters, do the same to your
servants. Why? Knowing that your master
is also in heaven. Neither is there respect of persons
with Him. As believers concerning our pastors,
the Hebrew writer says, obey them that have the rule over
you and submit yourselves for they watch for your souls as
they that must give account. Account to who? Account to the
king who rules over them. That's who. That's who. And so it is with a husband and
a wife. Ephesians 5.33 says, Nevertheless, let every one of
you, in particular, so love his wife even as himself. Even though we've been talking
about the church and Christ and the church as Christ's bride,
nevertheless, let every one of you in particular, each of you
in particular, let's bring this thing down now to where we are.
Right here. Every one of us in particular
so love his wife even as himself. And the wife see that she reverence
her husband. What does Ephesians 5.21 say?
It says, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of
God. You see what the Word says there?
Submitting yourselves. Each one in particular. If I
go to this Scripture, and I've listened to this message this
morning, and I use it to examine my wife back there, how she ought
to be treating me, I haven't submitted to Christ. And if my wife goes to this scripture
or hears this message here this morning, and she uses it to examine
how I ought to be treating her, she hasn't bowed to Christ. She
hasn't submitted to Christ. But how I treat her, how I treat
her, and how she treats me, how I treat her, speaks volumes as
to how I reference my God. It speaks volumes as to what
I really think of God. My Lord sanctified me, set me
apart, made me holy by sanctifying Himself on my behalf. Have you
cut yourself apart from this world, and from anger, and from
obstinance, and from rebellion for the good of your spouse,
and your brethren, and your children, and your employer, and those
that work for you, and whatever all your civil leaders, rulers,
politicians that the Lord set up? That's submission to Christ. That's submission to our God.
Do we fear God? Do we truly reverence God? If
we've not submitted to Him in faith, we won't submit to anyone
but our own sinful lusts. Well, what if I believe but my
husband doesn't? What if I believe but my wife
doesn't? What if I believe but my children
don't? Well, as Paul told the Corinthians,
are you showing them by your actions and by your words, by
your commitment and submission to Christ? Are you showing them?
that you are in submission to Him. It just may be that the Lord
will use you to save them. That's what Scripture says. A sheep is an animal that needs
to be led. It needs to be led and taken care for. and provided
for. It can't be beat into submission. It can't be prodded into submission.
It can't be goaded into submission. It has to be led with a loving hand, not a rebellious,
stiff-necked demand for respect. I see, I hear all the time, I
hear different folks say different things, you know, about a spouse or a child or whatever,
and I think it might just be as simple
as, have we bought them any flowers
lately? Have we made them dinner lately? set them down and just
told them plainly how much we love them. And we just think,
well, they ought to know it. Love has to be shown in some
capacity, doesn't it? When I was leaving Fairmont,
the last time I was there, I'd been talking in the room with
Brother Henry, and he knows this Northeast region
pretty well. He's had a lot of dealings up
here, been around up here, knows a lot of folks here. His last
words to me was, Clay, They've been whipped enough. Love them
to Christ. Love them to Christ. In any relationship we're in,
we have to remember who it is we're in subjection to. Who it
is that's in authority and who's ruling and reigning. And I guarantee
you if we keep that thought ever present in our hearts and our
minds, it'll help us to submit even when we're not submitted
to. Because everything he's ever done, can you say this? Everything
he's ever done for me has turned out for my good, every bit of
it. If your pastor takes off into
some foolish error, you can be sure that the Lord who turns
the king's heart, whether so ever He will, if I'm His, He's
going to turn my heart. And I can do the same for you,
and for my bride, and she can for me, and for my children. And all the while, we do it loving
one another, carefully, tenderly, kindly, helping one another and
teaching one another, but all the while submitting to one another. That's how the Lord's church
operates. That's how the Lord's people operate. Because that's
how our Lord operates towards us.