The following sermon was delivered
on Sunday evening, January 19th, 2003, at Trinity Baptist Church
in Montville, New Jersey. Now since we are going to be
traversing in what I believe will be new territory for many
of you tonight, addressing things concerning which you may have
given very little, if any thought, in previous times of thinking
about the general area of our concern, let us plead that special
help will be given to me by the Spirit to be clear, to be pointed,
to be above all else accurate in my handling of the Word of
God, and that God will give to each of you the spirit of wisdom
and understanding in these concerns. Let's pray together. Our Father, you bring us again
and again to the realization of that very basic truth uttered
by John the Baptist, that a man can receive nothing except to
be given him from heaven. And we are especially conscious
of this when we seek to place, as it were, the feet of our minds
in tracks that they've not been before, And we ask for the special
help of the Holy Spirit that I may be clear, biblical, pointed
in the application of these issues, and that your Holy Spirit will
be present to give us both understanding and an inclination to receive
and to yield to the pressure of your Holy Word. We pray for
some that they may look back upon this night as a night of
critical importance in their hearts, in their lives, in their
experience with husband and wife and children and brothers and
sisters and parents. O Lord, do for us what we cannot
do for ourselves as we plead for such mercies through Christ
our Lord. Amen. As we begin our study in the
Word of God this evening, I want you to return with me to the
pristine beauty and moral perfection of the Garden of Eden. We are
told in Genesis 1, in verse 31, at the close of the sixth day
of God's creative action, that God saw everything that he had
made, and behold, it was all Very good. And among the very
good things of the garden was what I am calling the communicating
climate initiated and established by the Lord God. In that climate,
God himself was the perfect communicator. In recent days, I've been listening
to some CDs made available when you renewed your world subscription,
CDs of vast President Ronald Reagan. And he was called the
great communicator, and I agree with that assessment. I think
many preachers could learn much by listening to those CDs. But
Ronald Reagan, though the great communicator, was never the perfect
communicator. God alone is deserving of that
description and title. And in that communication of
God the perfect communicator, all that Adam needed to know
in order to do the will of God and to glorify God, God fully
and accurately revealed to Adam in words that Adam accurately
perceived. There was no breakdown in the
communication process. Adam, in turn, with God as his
pattern, was the perfect communicator with Eve, his bride. All she
needed to know in order to fulfill her role in God's world, either
God or Adam had made clear to her in words which she also accurately
understood. No more was revealed than was
necessary for Adam and Eve to know their identity, their purpose,
and the will of God for them, and no less was made known than
what was essential to fulfill their role in God's world. So get the picture of this triangle
of perfect communication. God is at the apex. Here's Adam,
and here is Eve. And between Adam and God, there
is perfect communication. Between Eve and God, there is
perfect communication. And between Adam and Eve, there
is perfect communication. And so the setting of the communicating
context is part of that which, when God looked upon it, He assessed
it as very good. And among the many horrific tragedies
of the fall of man was the radical disruption of this communicating
climate, both God-ward and man-ward. A tragic disruption of this climate
of perfect communication. Not only did man's tongue become
an instrument to blaspheme and revile his God, but became an
instrument to speak unwarranted and sinful things that deceived,
misled, cut, and wounded, and defiled and poisoned his fellow
man. Likewise, the tongue became an
instrument to cause deep grief and a form of punishment when
it refused to speak the things it ought to speak in order that
the object to whom they are spoken would understand the mind and
the purpose and the will of another. the tongue became sinfully active
and also sinfully inactive. And it's in the light of that
reality that I want to speak to you tonight on the sins of
the silent tongue. And if you ask me, Pastor Martin,
why are you doing this? I answer very honestly and simply
as follows. In the course of the eight sermons
On the use of our tongues, in which I've identified the importance
of the subject, some of the major sins of the tongue, some of the
biblical directives to overcome those sins, I have had more than
a few of you speak to me at the door. Some of you very tactfully
suggesting, quite strongly, that I bring a sermon or two on the
sin of the silent tongue. As I say, some have just raised
the question, are you planning to? Others saying, will you please? And with varying degrees, it's
been evident to me that there is at the grassroots of this
congregation a desire that this issue of the sin of the silent
tongue be addressed. And when it became evident that
Pastor Jay was not going to be able to preach tonight, and I
was in line to preach, as I reflected on what to do with this extra
opportunity, I felt I could do no better than to ask God to
help me to preach to you on this very subject, when silence is
sin, or the sins of the silent tongue. For our deaf friends, the sins
of the inactive hands. What for us is a silent tongue,
for them is inactive hands. In other words, there are times
when the four captains who stand outside as God's sentinel on
the door of the mouth, each one has placed his key in his proper
lock, has withdrawn the deadbolt and the door ought to swing open
so that out of it will come righteous speech. But alas, though each
captain has turned his lock and the door should swing open, nothing
comes out. Though it would be righteous
and right for something to come out, nothing comes forth from
that unlocked door. And so if you take away nothing
else, I hope you will take away that little phrase, when silence
is sin, and hang on it the five texts of scripture that I want
to open up in your hearing tonight. And the first is Ephesians 4
and verse 29. Ephesians 4 and verse 29, text
number one, attempting to demonstrate when silence is not golden, but
silence is sinful. Ephesians 4 and verse 29. Let no corrupt speech proceed
out of your mouth, But such as is good for edifying as the need
may be, that it may give grace to them that hear." Now we looked
at the negative command in conjunction with identifying some of the
major sins of the tongue in verse 29a. Let no corrupt speech proceed
out of your mouth. That's an imperative. a present
imperative at no time under any circumstances are we to allow
corrupting speech to proceed out of our mouths any kind of
corrupting speech in general the kind of corrupting speech
identified in chapter 5 in verse 4 in particular but now notice
the last part of the verse with all the force of the imperative
behind the words, let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth,
but let such speech proceed out of your mouth, an imperative,
as is good for edifying, as the need may be, that it may give
grace to them that hear. Having forbidden us to allow
corrupt speech to proceed from our mouths, the Apostle is not
content with the negative. He now commands us, in contrast
to that, that from our mouths, that is, articulated by diaphragm,
larynx, tongue, Teeth and lips. A specific kind of words should
come forth from our mouths. And they are to have three characteristics. Words that are good for building
up. Look at the language. No corrupt
speech, but such as is good for building up. Secondly, words
appropriate to real need. good for building up as the need
may be. Here is real need. Here are real
words, which when they come out of a real mouth, articulated
by a real tongue, in a real communicating context, they are an appropriate
response to that real need. Words that come forth with the
intention to build up, not to tear down. Words that are appropriate
to real need, And this is the amazing thing, words that convey
grace, that it may give grace to them that hear. This then
is the responsibility of every believer in conjunction with
his speech. And as surely as he is jealously
to have the door of his mouth guarded, that no corrupt speech
proceed out of his mouth, He is under solemn obligation to
feel conscious bound in every circumstance in which he finds
himself in a communicating context, to be committed out of conscience
to speak words calculated to build up words appropriate to
real need and words that will communicate grace. And the divine
imperative attaches itself as much to the positive as to the
negative. Now let me ask you a question.
If I let corrupt, harmful, derogatory, destructive speech proceed from
my mouth, am I sinning? Yea, nay. Okay, so if I violate
the negative injunction, I'm sinning, right? Question number
two. If I fail to comply with the
positive injunction, am I equally sinning by my silence? See, I said we're going into
territory, something you've never gone before. You would never
think of retiring to bed at night, having spoken corrupt words,
without reflecting back on the day and saying, Oh God, forgive
me for that corrupting word that came out of my mouth, that abusive
word that passed from my tongue. Oh Lord, forgive me. And if there
were someone to whom it was spoken or those words were spoken of
seeking their forgiveness, your conscience is attuned to the
negative injunction, but you can go days and weeks and months
in the presence of wife, of husband, of children, of fellow believers,
in circumstances where there is real need for words that would
build up and be an instrument of grace, and you are wickedly
and sinfully mute. And it never causes a twinge
in your conscience. I don't know how else to understand
a text. Let no corrupt speech proceed
but with the force of that imperative verb behind the next clause,
but let there proceed that which is good for edifying. that which
is answerable to real need, need that can be met by my words,
need which when met by my words becomes a conduit of the very
grace of God to another. So, is there such a thing as
sinful silence? I trust from this text you are
at least beginning to be persuaded There is indeed such a thing
as sinful silence. Now then, the second text, 1
Thessalonians chapter 4. I'm going to be like the lawyer
before the jury, making out my appeal that there is a silence
that is sinful, as sinful as some of the words we speak. 1 Thessalonians chapter 4 most
of you are familiar with the pastoral problem beginning in
verse 13 chapter 4 Paul is addressing what was a pastoral problem at
Thessalonica apparently some were teaching that when the Lord
returns his concern would be primarily with living saints
and that his dead saints would somehow be second-class citizens
at the return of Christ. And in the light of that, those
believers who had loved ones who had passed on to be with
the Lord were grieving with a grief that was not chastened by And
so Paul writes saying we would not have you ignorant brethren
concerning them that fall asleep in order that you do not sorrow
even as the rest who have no hope. He said this is why I'm
going to tell you what I'm going to tell you. You are ignorant
concerning a block of truth which if you knew it would chasten
and discipline your sorrow so that it would not be like godless
sorrow. And then in verses 14 to 17 he
gives the block of truth. And he lays out the facts concerning
the return of Christ, and rather than the dead saints being second
class citizens, they'll be first class. When the Lord descends
from heaven, he will deal with his dead saints first, and he
gives that instruction, and then we who are alive and remain caught
up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the
air, so shall we ever be with the Lord. So he's given his block
of instruction that should sweep away their ignorance. Now, if
you were a believer who had your ignorance swept away by this
block of truth, and you had internalized it to the comfort of your own
soul, what were you to do with that truth which you had now
perceived from the apostles' words? You had embraced and internalized
to your own comfort. It was now yours. What were you
to do with it? Snuggle up to it and feel nice
and comfortable and feel its warmth and its comfort and stop
there? No. Look at verse 18. Wherefore comfort one another with these
words. In other words, Paul says this,
if you have embraced these words, and your own thinking, your skewed
thinking has been sorted out, and your own unbiblical, non-Christian
sorrow has been swept away by the chase and sorrow of an enlightened
Christian mind, you are not to keep that to yourself. In the
presence of your brothers and your sisters, you are to take
these words that were my words, that are now your words, and
through your larynx, your tongue, your teeth, your lips, you are
to speak them into the ears of your brothers and sisters with
a view to encouraging them. The Greek word parakaleo has
a wide range of meaning. Literally, etymologically, it
is to draw a long sigh, and to speak a word of encouragement,
of strengthening motivation. Sometimes has the connotation
of exhortation, bordering on admonition, but in this context,
obviously what it is, is go to one another. And when you have
a loved one that dies, or one that has died, and you begin
to forget some of the words that I have told you, that have swept
away your unchastened, your carnal, worldly-like sorrow, and you
begin to drift back into it, you have a solemn obligation
to take these words that have brought you comfort, and you
are to articulate them and pass them on to your brothers. Wherefore,
comfort, exhort one another with these words." Then Paul goes
on in chapter 5 verses 1 to 10 to give further instruction about
the Lord's return of a more general nature and the implications of
that for the saints of God. And what does he do at the end
of that additional block of teaching, verse 11? Wherefore, in the light
of this block of teaching, exhort one another, same words as 4.18,
encourage one another, but then he goes further, and build each
other up. And it's very interesting. What
he does here is he gives the verbal form of the noun that
he used in the previous passage in Ephesians 4.29, where to speak
that which is good for building up, that was the noun, oikodome. Now he says, engage in the activity
of building up, oikodomeo, in the imperative form. so that
when we have received additional light from the words of apostolic
instruction, and they have brought stabilization to our own hearts,
and they've brought us into alignment with reality, we are not selfishly
to keep them to ourselves, but we are in principle commitment
to speak in appropriate circumstances, comfort with those words, exhort
one another and build each other up. Now, question. You're in a situation where you
hear from a brother, from a sister, from a spouse, from a family
member, an emotional reaction to death or to any other facet
of human experience, And you perceive that that reaction is
skewed because they are either ignorant of or have temporarily
forgotten the fundamental Christian truth. And you know that truth
from the words of God. What are you to do? You are to
take those words and make them your words. You are to frame
them with your mouth, and to put them in their ears with a
view to comforting, exhorting, and building them up. Now my
question is, if you're in that setting, and you don't comfort
with those words, and you don't build up with those words, are
you disobeying God? Yes, you are. That's when silence
is sinful. Oh, but I'm so humble. No, you're
not. You're disobedient. Oh, but I'm
not. Wherefore, comfort one another. Oh, but you see, I'm not a talker.
Well, too bad. Learn to be. Just like some of
us have to unlearn being too much the talker. Hmm. Clear. that we have a moral,
spiritual, familial obligation with the words that we speak
one to another. Not only making conscience that
we do not lie one to another, negative, that no corrupting
speech proceeds out of our mouth into one another's ears, negative,
that no abusive speech proceeds from our mouths one to another,
negative, but making conscience that we speak comfort, exhortation,
with the words of God, one to another. Text number three. I said I'm
going to give you five texts. You're just going to get a block
of Bible. Luke 17, verse 3. Remember what I'm trying to prove,
that there is a time when silence is sin. Luke 17 and God willing
in a series that's brewing and about to get born On the biblical
doctrine of forgiveness, this will be a passage that we will
look at in some detail, but tonight we look at it in a very limited
way. Luke 17, verse 1. And he said unto his disciples,
it's impossible that occasions of stumbling should come. In
the sinful world, there will be occasions to sin. That's reality. Here's Jesus' realism. But, woe
unto him through whom they do come. It were well for him if
a millstone were hung about his neck and he were thrown into
the sea, rather than that he should cause one of these little
ones to stumble. Take heed to yourselves. If your
brother sin, rebuke him. And if he repent, forgive him. And if he sin against you seven
times in the day, and seven times turn again to you, saying, saying,
I repent, you shall forget him." Here in this passage, our Lord
is telling us, not giving an exhaustive directive about mutual
offenses, but a very critical directive concerning mutual offenses. And the whole process depends
upon words. You strip this process of words
and there's nothing left. Look at the language of our Lord.
If your brother sin, rebuke him. Epitimao, a very strong word. If your brother sin, you go with
words. Strong words. seeking to bring
him to feel and own in the theater of his conscience his moral wrongs. He has sinned a sin which it
is either not right or possible to cover with the blanket of
love. That's another facet of biblical teaching. We don't go
into it tonight. Have fervent love among yourselves,
for love shall cover a multitude of sins. But here's a sin it
is not in his best interest nor in yours to cover it with a blanket
of love. What are you to do? If your brother
sinned, withdraw from him. Allow an emotional barrier to
be raised up between you and him. That's what we often do.
But the Lord Jesus didn't say that. He said, rebuke him. The
Lord Jesus did not say, if your brother sinned, draw back in
unexplained sulking. Avoid the one who's wronged you.
Build up a puss sack in the soul of resentment and bitterness.
No, you're to go to him and you are to rebuke him, verbally to
confront him with his sin. And what is he to do? He is to
repent. Now in the context, how do you
know he's repenting? Repentance is an inner disposition
of the heart. You only know it when he says,
brother, sister, You have pointed out my sin. I see that I have
sinned. I own my sin, which is the very
essence of repentance. I acknowledge my sin, and I ask
you to forgive me for that sin. Because Jesus says, if he repents,
forgive him. The assumption being with words.
He's saying, I see my sin. I own my sin. Will you forgive
me for my sin? Not apologize. We're going to
deal with this nonsense of apology that has no basis in the Word
of God. When we come to the matter of
the biblical doctrine of forgiveness, if he repents, owns his sin,
seeks forgiveness for his sin, Jesus said, you are to forgive
him. Now forgiveness is essentially
a thing of the heart. How is he going to know if you
forgive him? You say, my brother, I forgive you. I let the issue
go, it's buried, never to be raised again. You see how words
are central to this whole process? You go and with words rebuke
him. With words he expresses repentance. With words you express forgiveness. And that this is the prevailing
disposition of the heart, our Lord says, if he sinned against
you seven times in the day and seven times turned to you saying,
you see, the Lord assumes words are involved in this whole process. Now then, what are we to conclude
from this passage? Well, just this, there is no
righteous way to deal with interpersonal offenses without words. Spoken
words. Clear words. Sincere words. Words that acknowledge moral
culpability and wrong. Words that own sin. Words that
seek forgiveness for sin. Words that extend forgiveness
concerning sin. Words, words, words, sin, sin,
sin. That's the whole process laid
out in the Word of God. The parallel passage, of course,
is Matthew 18, 15. If your brother sinned, there's
a textual problem. Does it say if he sinned against
you? Or if he sinned, could be either one. There's sort of an
equal weight of textual evidence. If your brother sinned against
you, go, tell him his fault between you and him alone. You go, you
speak, you show him. If he hear you, you have gained
your brother. If he hear you not, take with
you one or two more. Let at the mouth of every two
or three witnesses every word. You see, words, words, words,
words, words, words, words. Now my question is, if we do
not confront interpersonal offenses with words, are we sinning? We let them be internalized with
attitudes of resentment, of distance, of hurt feelings. This is not
what the Lord says. He says we're to deal with them.
And we're to deal with them with words. And therefore, when we
are in a situation of interpersonal offenses, or we see another sin,
and we go into silence, that silence is sinful. silence. In fact, there is a
text in Leviticus that is frightening in underscoring this reality.
Leviticus 19 in verse 17. Leviticus 19 in verse 17. You shall not hate your brother
in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your
neighbor and not bear sin because of him. In other words, if you do not
rebuke your neighbor as Jesus said we are to do, you become
an accomplice in his sin by your silence. You bear his sin when
you confront it with silence. That's when silence is sin. Text number four, Colossians
chapter three. Here I ask you to pray that God
will expand and open up your mind to a concept that has just
been thrilling to me as I have for a long time been thinking
about this issue and having to come up to the plate for a second
time today has forced me to try to articulate it. It may, I trust,
become clearer in coming days, but As much as I can articulate,
I want to attempt to. Colossians chapter 3 verses 8
to 11. Remember now we're trying to
prove one thing. There is a silence that is sinful. Colossians chapter 3. The context
From chapter 220 through 3.4, Paul has been asserting the reality
of a believer's union with Christ and the implications of that
union. On the one hand, the implications with regard to those that were
trying to impose man-made ascetic regulations upon the believers.
He said, look, if you are in union with Christ, you've died
with Christ, you've been raised with Christ, why in the world
are you letting people strap on your back a bunch of man-made
regulations? Touch not, taste not, handle
not. He said that's a bunch of nonsense. Furthermore, he says,
if you were raised together with Christ, chapter 3, verse 1, seek
the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right
hand of God. Set your mind on the things that
are above. You died, your life is hid with
Christ in God, and the best is yet to come. When Christ who
is our life shall be manifested, you will be manifested with Him
in the context of glory. He's opening up and underscoring
the grand truth of our union with Christ, and its implications
on the one hand for some of the false teaching that was rife
there at Colossae and for our general view of the Christian
life. Now then, he begins to apply this to the issue of dealing
with our sins. Verse 5, put to death therefore
in the light of your union with Christ and all the glory of that
union, put to death therefore your members which are upon the
earth. And he names those grosser forms of sin. And now he goes
on in verse 8, but now do you also put them all away, anger,
wrath, malice. Now notice the sins of the tongue,
railing, shameful speaking out of your mouth. Do not lie one
to another. Why? Seeing you've put off the
old man in your union with Christ, you've put off the old man and
have put on the new man that is being renewed in knowledge
after the image of Him that created Him. Now just pause and think
with me for a moment. Paul says, look, you need to
do these things because doing these things alone is consistent
with who you are. In union with Christ, you put
off the old man. That is, all that you were in
Adam, with all of its perspectives and its sinful passions and commitments,
you have died to that. In union with Christ, you put
off the old man, you put on the new. But he says the new man
that you put on is not a perfect new man. He says it is a new
man that is continually being renewed. Look at that in the
text. You have put on the new man that is being renewed, is
in a constant process of renewal. But now listen carefully. In
that process of renewal, what is the pattern towards which
the renewal is moving? Is it just renewal without any
pattern, without any outline, without any contours determining
what the process of renewal will result in? No. Look at the passage. The new man that is being continually
renewed in knowledge would be a better rendering after, according
to Kata, after the image of Him that created him. In other words,
the pattern of the new man is none other than God Himself. In the perfection of His holiness,
God Himself, whose image is perfectly seen where? In Jesus Christ. Now he says, in this whole ongoing
work of sanctification, including these many sins of the tongue,
the pattern of your renewal in putting off the old and in putting
on the new is the image of God Himself. Now when we ask the
question, what is God's image in terms of communication, We've
seen briefly in my introduction, in the garden, God was the perfect
communicator. He did not frustrate Adam with
silence where he should have spoken. He didn't leave Adam
in confusion where Adam needed verbal instruction, verbal conveyance
of the mind of God. And when we come to the reality
that God's image is perfectly revealed in Jesus Christ in concrete
human form and human existence and human interaction, when we
follow the life of our Lord Jesus through the Gospels with this
in view, how did He communicate? Oh, how we marvel at His holy
silences. You remember? When he's being
accused at his trial, even the pagan rulers were amazed at his
silence. And yet, when silence would have
been sin, when he is asked, are you the son of the blessed? He breaks his silence and says,
you have said it. And henceforth, you will see
the Son of Man coming in the clouds of glory. And those words
precipitated his execution. prepared to speak when speaking
was necessary for truth and righteousness, prepared to be silent when silence
was a manifestation of grace. They wondered at the words of
grace that proceeded out of his mouth. He knew how to speak words
that brought comfort into the soul of the distressed. Neither
do I forgive thee, condemn thee. Go. Sin no more. He knew how to convey his affections. Henceforth I no more call you
slaves. For a slave doesn't know what
his master does. I call you my friends. I'm going to disclose my heart
to you. And I'm now going to give you
a name commensurate with the opening of my heart. You trace
our Lord Jesus through the Gospels. He is the perfect expression.
He is the image of God in concrete human form and existence and
relationships. And when we viewed Him in His
communication, our Lord was never guilty of unwarranted speech,
He was never guilty of sinful silence. And God says, that's
the pattern for your tongue. As a new man, a new woman in
Christ, a new girl, a new boy in Christ, there's the pattern
to be like Jesus with your tongue. To keep the door of the mouth
shut. when it ought to be shut, to have it wide open when it
ought to be wide open. Never open when it ought to be
shut, never shut when it ought to be open. That's the standard
for whom he did foreknow, Paul says in Romans 8. Then he also
did predestinate to be what? Conformed to the image of his
Son. May I put it in a way that I
trust doesn't sound maudlin. God wants to make you talk like
Jesus. God wants to make you talk like
Jesus. God wants to make you talk like
Jesus. And that's why He's united you
to His Son. And He's made you a new man,
a new woman, in union with Christ. And He's renewing you after the
image of Himself as revealed in Christ. And that's what's
wretched about this form of horrible excusing of ourselves in a kind
of either genetic or cultural determinism. Well, I'm just not
much of a talker. Is that right? Well, before you
were saved, you weren't much of a prayer either, were you?
You weren't much of a holiness seeker either, were you? You
weren't much of a lover of men with pure and holy love, were
you? That's no excuse. Well, I wasn't brought up in
a home where people communicated. So what? You're united to Christ. You have the Holy Spirit dwelling
in you. You have Christ as your model.
And you have all the dynamics of grace fashioning you into
the likeness of Jesus. Away with such wretched excuses. Just as much as the one who says,
well, I can't learn to stop corrupt speech and lying. I was brought
up in a home where everybody lied, everybody cussed, everybody
told dirty jokes, everybody slashed and cut with their words. I can't
ever have words of grace. And that's a wretched determinism
that says sin is greater than grace. And my Bible says where
sin abounded, grace does much more abound. This passage, my
brothers and my sisters, attacks this horrible sin of silence,
when silence is unlike Jesus. Let me ask you, if Jesus were
in your home, if Jesus were in your home, and He saw one of
your children obviously preoccupied, obviously something wasn't quite
right, Do you think Jesus would let it pass by without noticing
it, without tactfully seeking to take that son or daughter
aside, and in a non-threatening context, and in a non-threatening
way, do everything to pry open their soul, to get them to say
what it was that was troubling them? Do you think he'd be satisfied
with just saying, hey kid, what's bothering you? Well, nothing
dad. Okay, fine. When it does, tell me. You think
Jesus would do that? You think that's the way Jesus
would communicate? If you do, that's blasphemy. If Jesus were the husband in
your home, and he saw a wife distracted, preoccupied, you
think he'd ignore it? Or perceiving it, do you think
he'd simply say, what in the world is wrong with you, dear?
What's your problem today? The wrong time of the month?
He would gently, graciously, lovingly draw out the soul of
that woman to get in and find the sore and heal it. Husbands,
love as Christ loved the church. Use your pattern. You wives,
just extrapolate that. Take it out in a hundred directions. It's ungodly to be silent when
words are the means of building up and of conveying grace. One other text. And as far as
I'm concerned, I didn't know which one to put. You're told
in logic in building an argument either to bowl people over with
your best argument at first and get your others done quickly
or lead up to your best. And I've struggled with these
last two. I don't know, I think probably I should have preached
this fourth one fifth and the fifth fourth. But be that as
it may, as I said this is new ground for me as well as you.
I want you to consider when the fifth major text which enables
us to identify when silence is sinful. Anyone got any idea what
the text might be? Let's play 20 questions. It's
in the Gospels. Which one? It's in Matthew. It's
in the first half of the Gospel of Matthew. It's in the first
major section of Matthew. It's in the Sermon on the Mount.
We've got about seven questions. We're narrowing down. Matthew
7 and verse 12. Here's our text. Matthew 7 and
verse 12. As our Lord Jesus is coming toward
the end of this sermon, note what he says. All things therefore
whatsoever you would, that men should do unto you. Notice, the emphasis is not what
men should not do, but what should do unto you. Even so, do you
also unto them, for this is the law and the prophets. Jesus said,
do you want a helpful distillation, a nice little pithy summary of
all the ethical and moral demands of the whole Old Testament? Here
it is in one little golden rule. As you would that others should
do unto you, even so also do you unto them. That is, whatever
you would desire others to do to you were you in their circumstances
assuming the desire is righteous and reasonable, that is what
you are to do to them. The assumption is that our natural
self-interest is a helpful indicator of the self-interest of others.
You see that? As you would that others do unto
you, assuming that what they would desire, what you would
desire, is both righteous and reasonable, that you are to do
to them. Your self-interest and their
self-interest are generally parallel. Now apply this to sinful silence. I want a number of you parents
to look back and think back upon your childhood. Think back. Do you wish your parents had
been more verbal and physical in their expressions of love
to you? I know the answer from any of
you because you've told me in pastoral counseling settings.
Would God I had memories of a dad who propped me up on his knee,
put his arms around me in a chaste way that never gave me reason
to think there was anything that was sordid or unclean right up
until I left the home and got married. I'm speaking as a young
woman now. Would God I had a dad who put his arms around me and
say to me, sweetheart, I couldn't love you any more than I love
you. I thank God you're my daughter. Some of you ache just hearing
me say that because you never had that from your dads. No constant
affirmation and reaffirmation and repeated affirmations of
delight in you, of gratitude to God for you. Telling you at
times you know, honey, at times you give dad a pain in the neck
and pain lots of other places, but I wouldn't have anyone else
but you for a daughter. Son, I'm so glad God's given
you to be my son. Stand with him as I remember
on my son's 12th birthday with my arms around him saying, son,
everything I ever hoped a son would be, you've been to me. I could say that up until he
was 12. And I did say it. As you would that others do to
you, do to them. Are you sending your daughters
and your sons out into life with the same gaping holes in their
psyche that your father and mother left in yours? When I feel awkward,
so what? As you would that others do,
so do. Awkward or not awkward. Feeling
funny or not funny. Call your daughter over and say,
hey, I feel stiff as though I were dipped in starch doing this,
but I know I need to do it. Help me. Come sit on my knee. Do it. Next time will be a little
easier. And she said, you know, Dad,
I know you felt a little stiff. I felt a little funny, but I
liked it. As you would that others do, do with your mouth, with
your mouth, with your mouth. How many of you, how many of
you? Say, I wish mom and dad had had hands-on development
of my character, taken the time to teach me the lessons of life
that I've had to learn in a hard way. And even though I may not
have appreciated it, like I didn't. Son, spring cleaning time. Yes,
mom. You're going to do the French
doors and the windows. But mom, you know I hated the windows.
Is that I know, son. And then I'd heard the famous
litany, doing things you don't like to do develops character. I heard it so many times I wanted
to puke it out. I heard it again and again. But
I hear it to this day as a 68-year-old man. She laid up a stalk in me
with words, with words. A job worth doing is worth doing
right. 10.30, Saturday night in the
study, and the words of a heading are not right. But Lord, don't
I deserve to go to bed? Doing a job worth doing is worth
doing right? Yeah, I know, that's what my
mother said, but I want to go to bed. But the job isn't being
done right yet. So you do it until it's right. Some of you say, oh, I wish I
had that. Well, what about what you're giving to your kids? As you would that others do unto
you? Even so, do you also unto them? You kids, I'm going to
go after you. I'm going after mom and dad.
You've got parents that love you. I remember sometime last
year talking with one of our young people who was getting
a little bit irritated and chafing under some parental guidance.
I said, look at me. Have you ever known your parents to do
one thing or desire one thing for you that was not for your
best interest? And I just went down the line. They said, never,
never, never, never, never. I said, what makes you think
they've suddenly become a demon out to cramp your style and ruin
your life by asking this of you? Don't you think you ought to
give them a little slack and believe that maybe they're still
the same people that have done all these things for your best
interest? And so here's a parent who really
loves you, and they're picking up the signals that you're struggling
with something. Maybe you're entering into a
period of your life when you're feeling things that you don't
know how to sort them out. Maybe some of you girls, as you begin
to come into puberty and into a consciousness of your identity
as a young woman, you may find strange feelings, not toward
boys, but you may find strange feelings toward girls. And you
may be having lesbian temptations. I didn't say you may be gay. No, no, no, no. Just as some
may have temptations to the abuse of alcohol and some temptations
to enter into illicit relations with boys. There may be some
of you and you're just dying. How can I ever talk to my mom
or dad? And they sense something's going
on in your psyche. And they're saying to you in
a context where there's constant affirmation of love and acceptance. Sweetheart, there's something
troubling you. Can't you talk to dad? Can't you talk to mom?
Nope. Nope. Nope. You see how cruel your
silence is? You've got a loving parent ready
to enter in and to face that crisis that may be the turning
point of your life and you won't let them in. That's cruel. That's cruel. Your silence is wickedness. Be
like a doctor who's known you from birth, and he can sense
something's not right with you, and you're in for a regular checkup,
and he says to you, Mary or John, there's something not right with
you. What's going on with you? Nothing.
And you're hurting here, and you're hurting there, and there
are symptoms that if you'd only speak of them, he could apply
his medicinal skills to help you. That kind of silence, kids,
is evil. Don't do that to your parents.
That silence is sin. Someday you're going to be a
pad. How will you feel? If you know there's something
wrong with your kid and you're trying to get inside, they won't
let you. And they meet you with stony silence. As you would that
others do unto you, even so do you also unto them, for this
is the law and the prophets. Let me touch another area under
this text. I want to just apply it enough
to get you really thinking and see. It is a golden rule. It'll
fit anywhere. Do you like modest but sincere
words of appreciation for those to whom you've done something
out of love? You like just a pat on the shoulder? Thank you, dear. I appreciate
you going the extra mile for me and that meal you made for
me. Thank you, sweetheart. I know
it's not easy to get out that door at six o'clock every morning,
take that commute, face what you face in the job. But I'm
so thankful I don't need to worry where the next meals come. Thank
you, sweetheart, for your faithfulness in your job. Some of you women,
weeks and months have gone and you haven't said that to your
husband. Shame on you. Don't you like modest expressions
of appreciation for deeds done in love to those you love? Don't
you? Come on, don't you? Come on,
get on this. Don't, or does someone say to you, say, I don't like
that. Don't ever do that to me again. Anyone here so weird that
that's the way you're this far? I don't think so. As you would
that others do unto you, even so do ye also unto them. How much does it cost you to
put together 15 words to take your wife in your arms and say,
thank you. Let me ask you guys something.
Did you ever see your underwear crawl down by itself into the
washing machine, into the dryer, fold itself up, back up in your
drawer the next day? How many of you saw it? If so,
I tell you, you've been drinking too much of the wrong thing.
When's the last time you thanked your wife? For going in the hamper,
taking your dirty underwear, putting it in the washer and
dryer, folding them, putting them back in your drawer, so
you never need to go into that drawer. I hope you're not. Maybe
one of these, a few thank you's would help. You know, you go
to an empty drawer once or twice when you're getting ready to
go out to work, and then maybe it'll make you appreciate it. It's
a little thing. How much did it cost? That kind
of silence is sinful, because the Bible condemns ingratitude
as sin. Neither were they thankful. Ten
lepers, only one returned to give thanks. So you're beginning
to get the idea. that we need to cry to God to
overcome our sinful silence, and ask God to embed the golden
rule in our minds and hearts, so that in every situation where
communication is part of the relationship, as we would that
others do unto us, even so we will do unto them, for this is
the law and the prophets. As I close, I can hear some of
you saying, Pastor Martin, you've gone off the rails. I'm not put
together that way, and nobody's going to make me that way. I
want you to come, I mean this sincerely, and show me where
I've mishandled my Bible. I've given you five texts of
Holy Scripture, which you say are a lamp to your feet and a
light to your path, and that you are bound in love to Jesus
Christ to obey the Word of God. Don't cop out by saying, that's
not my temperament, any more than some of us who've got too
loose a tongue can cop out and say, well, Lord, I'm just made
that way. I talk too much, Lord, overlook it. No, when we talk
too much and we sin with our tongues, we have to confess it.
And for those of you temperamentally and in terms of your environment
and upbringing who are too closed-mouthed, as my wife said yesterday in
a setting talking with someone, She's had to struggle with being
a Vermonter all her life. Vermonters keep everything locked
up in here. You do your business, mind your
business, they'll mind their business and go your happy way.
You can't do that when you're married. Because his business
is yours and yours is his, because the two are one. And no little
part in real experiential marital oneness is words, words, words,
words. So don't cop out. that it's not
your temperament, not your background, not your training, didn't have
this kind of example, etc., etc. I close by reading the passage
that we'll read, God willing, next Lord's Day morning in Titus
chapter 2. For some who may sit here and
say, well, this has just been a bunch of moralistic teaching.
What's this have to do with the gospel? Well, I want you to see
what it has to do with the gospel. Titus 2 verse 11, after Paul
has given very practical, moralistic instruction to old men, young
men, old women, young women, servants. Then he says, I'm doing
all of this because, verse 11 of Titus 2, the grace of God
has appeared, bringing salvation to all men. instructing us to
the intent that denying ungodliness, denying things that are not like
God. In our actions and in our words,
God's grace has come to turn you from being unlike God in
your communication. teaching us that denying ungodliness
and worldly lust, we should live soberly and righteously and godly
in this present world, looking for the blessed hope and appearing
of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who
gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity
and purify to Himself a people for His own possession, zealous
fiery, consumed with passion for good works. The good works
of being godly communicators. There's a direct line between
the cross of Christ and the five texts we've studied tonight.
Jesus died that you and I might live in the light of what these
texts tell us about sinful silence. That's why he died. To loose your tongue to speak
when it ought to speak, what it ought to speak, and how it
ought to speak, and to keep it bridled when it ought not to
speak. There's a direct line from the
cross of Christ to this member between your cheeks and between
your jaws. And if you don't know the power
of that cross, you've never gone to Christ in repentance and faith,
my friend, that's where you got to start. And that's where you
continually draw strength and motivation and perspective. As
by the grace of God, we seek as the Lord's people to have
our tongues more and more instruments of life and of grace. with all those that God brings
into our lives. Let's pray. Our Father, we're so thankful
that the Scriptures are a lamp to our feet and a light to our
pathway. We confess with shame how ungodly
we have been with our tongues. We have left people hurting,
confused, bleeding, when we could have healed them, we could have
helped, enlightened, direct, and guide, and comfort them if
only we had opened our mouths with your words. Forgive us,
Lord, our sinful silence. Forgive us, who are parents,
who have by our silence left deep holes in the souls of our
children. Forgive us as husbands and wives,
where through our sinful silence we've left our partners frustrated,
grieved, perhaps at times disillusioned. God, forgive us. Oh, forgive
us. And help us by your grace and
by the power of the Spirit, looking unto Jesus as our perfect pattern. that we may more and more be
those whose tongues are instruments of life and grace. Hear our prayer
and help us for Jesus' sake. Amen.