We turn again this morning to
Paul's letter to the Church of Thessalonica, 1 Thessalonians,
and resume our studies in the second chapter of this letter. Our text for the morning, chapter
2, verses 11 and 12. As ye know how we exhorted, and
comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father doth
his children, that ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called
you unto his kingdom and glory. Just briefly, by way of review,
I would seek to set these two verses In the larger context
of chapters 1 and 2, chapter 1 you'll remember Paul's ascription
of thanksgiving to God for that which he in sovereign grace had
wrought in Thessalonica. As Paul thinks of all the wonderful
things that have happened at Thessalonica, the reflex action
of his heart is to praise and thank his God and to attribute
all the success of the gospel ministry in Thessalonica to the
mercy and grace of God. So that the principle we learn
from that paragraph of praise is that the gospel succeeds in
individuals and in communities only to the extent that God in
His good pleasure is pleased to make it succeed. So that of
Him and through Him and unto Him is the glory forever and
ever. But chapter 2 then confronts
us immediately with the kind of people through which God is
pleased to accomplish such mighty triumphs of His grace, and in
a gentle way chapter 2 through at least to verse 12 could be
entitled the marks of the kind of a minister and ministry by
which God accomplishes His purposes of grace. so that we must never,
as it were, rest upon our lees, take our hands off the oars,
and say, well, since the gospel can only succeed when God in
His good pleasure deigns to make it succeed, and be careless and
shoddy in our own discharge of ministerial responsibility, whether
it's from the pulpit or the home or to the neighbor, to the work
associate, We must seek to emulate these characteristics of the
true minister and the true ministry as set forth in the second chapter. We have already considered a
number of those things that characterized Paul and his associates. which
comprise the marks of a true minister and of a true ministry. In the first part of that second
chapter we had those very masculine characteristics of boldness and
fearlessness and an unflinching attachment to truth and purity
of motive. And then that feminine, beautifully
feminine characteristic of gentleness that he mentions in the seventh
verse, the gentleness of a nursing mother with a child that has
come from her own womb and draws its life from her own breast. And the summation of that whole
section is basically this. As Paul ministered to men, he
was far more concerned with the discharge of his responsibility
in the sight of God then he was concerned about what he received
from those to whom he ministered. Last week we saw in verse 10
the indispensable mark of true godliness, that there is no true
ministry unless the truth ministered is embodied in the one who ministers
it. And now this morning we come
to verses 11 and 12, particularly verse 11. Ye know how we exhorted
and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth
his children, that ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called
you into his kingdom and glory. A better translation of this
verse is that found in the Revised Standard Version, in which the
text is rendered as follows. For you know how, like a father
with his children, We exhorted each one of you and encouraged
and charged you to lead a life worthy of God who called you
into his own kingdom and glory. Now at the very outset I'm sure
many of you can see a contrast with verse 7. In verse 7 he likens
his ministry to that of a nursing mother Now, in verse 11, he likens
that ministry to a directing, exhorting father. Now, first
of all, let us consider the likeness that he uses here. For you know
how like a father with his children. Paul is using a figure of speech
which you junior high school students who are listening to
your English teacher can tell me is a simile. We did something
amongst you that was like a father with his children. Now, a simile
is used in order to clarify a certain truth or statement. But the simile
does that only if you understand the figure that's used. Let me
illustrate. If I were to say that a certain
lawyer handled the defense's objections in court like a shifty
halfback wending his way through the secondary, that would mean
nothing to you unless you knew something about football. Now,
if you played football, that would say worlds to you, because
you can picture that snaky-hipped halfback just as the guy's about
to nail him with a tackle, giving him a little shift to the hip
and a straight arm and making his way through. But if you know
nothing about football, I might as well be talking Chinese to
say that the lawyer handled the objections of the defense like
a shifty halfback wending his way through the secondary. My
simile does not communicate unless you understand the figure that
I use. Now I might say, and this would
mean nothing to a number of you younger fellas and girls here,
I might say that the man came into the house huffing and puffing
and wheezing like an old steam engine. Well, unless you've seen
a steam engine coming to a halt or just beginning to start somewhere
and heard its huffing and puffing and its wheezing, that doesn't
communicate to you. Well, when Paul wrote to the
people of Thessalonica, he apparently could assume that when he said,
like a father exhorting, comforting, and charging his children, that
these people had at least a somewhat adequate picture of a father
who did these things. Frankly, if Paul were writing
to us today, I don't believe he'd use this simile. For there
has been such a breakdown of an embodiment of the biblical
concept of the father's role in the home that this simile
doesn't communicate any more to most of us than my simile
about a snake-hipped halfback communicates to someone who wouldn't
know a football from a basketball. And so I believe in order to
catch the thrust of Paul's teaching here, we've got to pause just
a moment and bring into focus what the scripture teaches about
the Father that Paul is using here as an illustration of his
own ministry. In brief, what is the role of
a father as set forth in the scriptures? Now remember, this
is not a sermon on the role of a father. All we're trying to
do is understand the phrase You know how like a father with his
children, and we've got to know what that likeness is. First
of all, the scripture sets forth the father as the head and ruler
of his household. In Ephesians chapter 5, the scripture
says very distinctly that he is the head of his wife. As the church is subject to Christ,
so the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head
of the church. It's a headship granted, dispensed
in love, a headship administered in the climate of tender, condescending
love, but a headship nonetheless. And no matter how much you infuse
it with love, and discipline it with grace, and charge it
with tenderness, it's still a headship, and the concept of authority
and rule cannot be bled out of the teaching of Scripture. Well,
in 1 Timothy 3, we find the same concept with regard to the whole
household, not only the wife, but speaking of the requirement
for the elder, the bishop, the spiritual rulers within the church,
The Apostle said he should have his children in subjection. He is to rule well his own household. Now, every husband is to rule,
but in an unusual way, those who would be spiritual leaders
must exemplify that they are filling well the role that is
the role of every husband and father but they must exemplify
the ideal in their own lives. So basically then the role of
the father is that of head and ruler of the household and in
this position he sets the standards of and administers the training
of the children. Ephesians 6 and verse 4 says
fathers Rear your children in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord. In Hebrews 12, verses 7, 9, and
10, it speaks of the Lord's chastening under the likeness of the Father,
not the Mother, but the Father who chastens the Son in whom
He delights. And then Paul goes on to say,
we had fathers after the flesh who chastened us as it seemed
good unto them. So, in summation, and this is
just in a very, very boiled down, summarized way, the role attributed
to the father in the scriptures is that of the head and director
of his household, the administrator of the principles of godliness,
of discipline and of training, and the wife and her functions
and the children, all of them come under the headship of the
husband and the father. And in those duties, he is to
discharge them with earnestness, with compassion, with authority,
in the fear of God. Now I hope Paul's simile communicates
a little more effectively. Granted, it's far easier to take
you out to a football game and when a halfback does that say,
see what he's doing? Now that's what the lawyer did.
That's better. One picture is better than a thousand words.
But I can't take you into a home and let you watch for the next
month so that you learn what it means when he said, as a father. So all I can do is try to describe
it to you in this brief way from the scriptures. So much then
for the likeness stated, now let us consider the likeness
expanded. Paul did not say, quoting again
from the RSV, for you know how like a father with his children
we conducted ourselves in general, but he specifically lays out
how this fatherly conduct expressed itself. So having considered
the likeness as it is stated, let's look at it as it is expanded
by the Apostle Paul. What was involved in this ministry
that had a fatherly quality about it? Well, in the first place,
he says, it was marked by individual attention to each believer. And this is very strong in the
original. We could translate it literally, we exhorted each
and every one of you. Very strong wording. Like as
a father administers his role to his children with individual
attention and concern, so Paul says, we, as we stood amongst
you, discharged our responsibility in the gospel, and it had this
mark about it, individual attention and concern to each one of you. If you read the narrative of
how the church was founded at Thessalonica in Acts 17, you'll
notice that it began with a group ministry. Paul would go into
the synagogue, this was his custom, and a group of either proselytes
from Gentile communities or Jews who were in that area would be
there, and on a group basis, Paul would open up the scriptures
seeking to demonstrate and prove that Jesus was the Christ. But
it says a little bit later that some believed and they consorted
with Paul and Silas. They joined themselves to them.
And no longer now was it simply what we might call group evangelism. Once there was that response,
There was individual attachment to these who had been brought
into a position of faith and repentance. And Paul affirms
in other places that this individual concern was one of the perpetual
marks of his own ministry. In the 20th chapter of Acts,
Gathering the Ephesian elders together, Paul reviews his ministry
of some three-plus years amongst them, and he says in Acts 20
and in verse 26, I take you to record this day that I am pure
from the blood of all men, for I have not shunned to declare
unto you the whole counsel of God. Now, how did he do it? Well,
he says, I taught you publicly, verse 21, and from house to house. repentance toward God and faith
toward our Lord Jesus Christ. And then down in the 31st verse,
he says, therefore, watch and remember that by the space of
three years, I cease not to warn everyone. It's the same phrase
as you have in Thessalonians. Every one of you individually,
night and day with tears. So the first mark, then, of the
ministry that is characterized by this fatherly concern is individual
attention to each one who is being ministered unto. Secondly,
Paul says there was varied instruction to each child. Not only individual
attention, but varied instruction. Notice the three words he uses.
We were among you as a father with his children, exhorting,
encouraging, and charging you." Now, with the view that we hold
of scripture, I trust we hold it, Paul wasn't just being a
little bit verbose and redundant and had a little extra ink in
his quill and wanted to let it run dry, being, maybe having
some Scotch ancestry. He wrote this because it had
some meaning. As he thought of his conduct,
he said, you people remember that when I was among you, well,
I exhorted. Well, what does that mean? Well,
it's the general word for instruction. Sometimes the word exhortation
has the concept of comfort. Sometimes it has the connotation
of, you know, the preacher who said, Among other things, I splantifies
the text, mystifies it, then I puts in the rousements, you
see, putting in the rousements. Sometimes exhortation has the
concept of putting in the rousements, seeking to stir to action, sometimes
comforting. So it's a very general word.
So Paul sits there and says, now you people remember that
when I was among you, I had an individual concern for each one
of you, and that concern expressed as a father to his children,
was shown in that I exhorted you, I gave you instruction that
had in its view comfort in general, instruction building up, stirring
to action. But that wasn't all. Some of
you were being sorely tried by the persecution that broke out.
And as tender little blades just planted in the field of God,
oh how you needed to be tenderly encouraged. And so the next word,
we comforted you, is a word that is translated as comfort everywhere
else where it's found in the scriptures. It's the word used
when our Lord came to the situation at Bethany when Lazarus was dead,
that he sought to comfort Mary and Martha. It's the idea, you
see, of someone whose spirits are drooping and who need to
be lifted up. And so Paul, as a father, not
only gave general exhortation, general instruction, but where
he found a drooping plant, he came and liked the person with
the green thumb. who is restless until that plant
once again flourishes, the Apostle Paul with fatherly tenderness,
encouraged and comforted. And then the word charging is
a solemn exhortation, almost the concept of adjuring someone
by the living God. And so he not only gave general
instruction, tender, consoling instruction, but sober, God-fearing
exhortation and charging in this sense. And the specific end of
all of this, like the father, he not only gave individual attention
to every child, as a father he not only varied his instruction
to each child, but he tells us in the third place he had a specific
end in view in this instruction. We exhorted and comforted and
charged you to the end that he might walk worthy of God who
calleth you to his kingdom and glory. I'm not going to open
up that text this morning too much, that'll be for next week
the Lord willing, but notice he had a specific end in view.
Now there's a beautiful description of how a father operates. He
gives individual attention to every child. And as an outgrowth
of that attention, he knows that he can't give the same prescription
to each child. What will encourage one child
giving the same dose to another will just make him utterly indifferent
to all kinds of responsibility. What will be chastisement and
really break a child in the true sense of bringing his will submissive
to the parent would utterly crush the other child. So there's not
only the need of individual attention, but varied instruction to each
child according to his need, and there is a specific end in
view. The parental end in view is that
this child might, through my training and discipline and exhortation,
be brought to the place of maturity in Christ and in his or her true
humanity in order that he or she might take his place in the
threefold realm of his home that he will establish, his church,
and his society under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. So much then
for the likeness stated and the likeness expanded. Now let's
consider the likeness applied. What does this say to us? For
all scripture is given, as we read this morning, not only for
doctrine, but for instruction in the path of righteousness.
Can this really say anything to us? I mean, let's face it,
we're sitting here today in the 20th century with the mess in
Vietnam and the mess in North Korea and the mess in your own
neighborhood and the mess in your own heart. What does this
say to us? Well, I believe it has some very
practical things to say to us. In the first place, the Apostle's
use of this figure, of his ministry being likened to a father, Following
right on the heels of verse 10, where he speaks of his holiness
of life, it demonstrates, here's the principle, that holy instruction
and holy living are inseparable ingredients in the saving purposes
of God. He said in verse 10, Hear, witnesses,
and God also, how wholly and justly and unreprovably we behaved
ourselves among you. Our lives before you were blameless. We embodied the truth in our
own experience. In all the vicissitudes of life,
you people saw us. We were near to you like a father
with his children. We didn't just preach in the
synagogue and run away, lest if you got too close to us you'd
see the warts and moles. We weren't like the professional
evangelist who would preach up a storm in the pulpit and high
him off real quick to his high-class motel and not let anybody get
near him to see what he's really like. No, no. He said, we'd leave
there and then we were like the father with his children. And
he says, you people are witnesses, as well as God, that in all those
relationships we conducted ourselves holily, justly, and unrepentant. And as we saw last week, this
is an essential ingredient to the ongoing of the saving purposes
of God, for as a general rule, the power of the truth will be
in direct proportion to the purity of the vessel through which it
comes. As a general rule. There are some exceptions, but
that's all they are, is exceptions. God can speak through a donkey,
right? But we don't train donkeys to be preachers. God may speak
through an unholy vessel, but it's the exception. But now he
moves right into the next text and says, and you also know not
only the holiness of life, but you know that the means by which
we sought to bring you to a life worthy of God was what? Exhortation,
Consolation and charging. Every one of them done with the
lips. Communicating of truth. You don't exhort by your life,
you exhort with your lips. You don't comfort with your life,
you comfort with your lips. You don't charge with your life,
you charge with your lips. And so Paul brings together,
in this same trend of thought, the holy instruction coupled
with the holy life. And I need not remind you that,
as in every other area, the church is plagued in the present hour,
as she always has been, with two extremes. You have those
who say the only thing that matters is preach the truth. God has
said, my word shall not return unto me void. Preach the truth!
Preach the truth! And if you're true to the truth,
that's all that matters. No, it isn't all that matters.
People have a right to know, what's this do if I believe it?
What will it do for me if I embrace it? In some measure, we ought
to be able to say, it will do for you what it's done for me.
Be followers of me even as I am of Christ. We ought to be able
to say. And if this passage were simply
taken as it stands, we'd see that we cannot have the exhortation,
the comforting, and the charging with any real effect upon men
unless we can say previously, ye know, and God also, how holily,
justly, and unblameably. But there are others who, reacting
against this, say, oh, the thing that really matters is your life.
If you just live it, that's the important thing. Now, people
say, well, you know, I'm not much at talking, But I live my
witness. What a sneaky way to get around
bearing the reproach of Christ, which many times never comes
until you verbalize your witness. You can live before people from
now until doomsday and they'll perish unless they hear from
your mouth the saving words of God. The Apostle Peter makes
this so clear when he says in The book of Acts recounting God's
dealings with him and getting him down to the household of
Cornelius. He says in Acts 15.7, Ye know
that a while ago God made choice among us that by my mouth the
Gentiles might hear and believe. He didn't say by my light, he
said by my mouth. By my mouth. By my mouth, God
made choice that people might be saved. And what is true of
the truth that brings men into the possession of saving grace
is also true in the development of that life. For Paul is speaking
primarily here of the development that came to these believers.
He said, we behaved ourselves this way among you that believed,
and as a father with his children, we exhorted and comforted and
charged, who? You believers. So that it wasn't
enough for Paul to embody in his life what it meant to live
the Christian life, he had to exhort, teach, instruct, comfort,
and charge them to the end that they might walk worthy of God. So rather than thinking that,
well, if we just live it, that's the important thing, the speaking
will take care of itself, or conversely, the philosophy that
says, well, if we can just get people witnessing, just get people
talking, just get people, and I don't like the phrase, but
you hear it often, gossiping the gospel, don't like it, but
that's the phrase that you, then we'll see blessing. Now the Bible
doesn't take either of those approaches. The Bible describes
the healthy Christian as one who's always living the truth
and always speaking the truth. And the Apostle gives us a beautiful
example of that principle right here. Well, there's a second
principle in this passage that I believe says something to us
right here this morning, and it's this. That pointed Varied
individual instruction is necessary for the development of spiritual
life. In evangelism it's not so necessary. in many cases, that there be
that individual pointed instruction. Wherever possible, as we saw
in our earlier studies, there ought to be the involvement of
love. As Paul says, we were willing to impart to you not the gospel
only. We didn't preach and run away,
but we were willing to impart our very lives, our souls. And
your life is made up of time, of energy, of interest, of plans.
And we have no right to expect that we shall see the gospel
succeed unless we're willing to give not only the gospel,
but our very selves. There must be the involvement
of love with people if the gospel is to be communicated powerfully.
But, even though that's true, it's also true that as a general
rule in the proclamation of the saving message of God, there
can be relative effectiveness in what we call group preaching. Setting forth the demands of
the law, setting forth Christ as the only hope of sinners,
setting forth the way of repentance and faith and the work of the
Spirit. That general instruction every sinner needs. He needs
to know that if he's to enter the way of life. Oh, once he's
entered the way of life, and now begins to grapple with how
to work out this salvation. And then all the influences that
had shaped him in the past, and all the influences of his own
temperament and background, and the cast of his mind, and his
particular sins and problems. See what happens? He begins to
stand in desperate need of that individual fatherly concern that
will show him how the general rules apply in his specific case,
so that the apostle says, we were among you as a father, exhorting,
comforting, and charging each of you one by one. There was
that individual concern and application of me. Now, I'm sure there were
times Paul did this when people came to him. That's always easy.
When one of my children comes to me and says, Daddy, I've got
a problem here. Will you help me? Oh, what a
joy it is to give individual concern to my children when they
come seeking. But there are other times when
they don't seek it. In fact, the last thing they want is father's
attention. Case in point, there are times
when I'm up in my study, which is in the parsonage, as most
of you know, and I wish I could turn my ears off
when I'm up there, but I can't. I'm sorely tempted to get one
of these things next time I fly out somewhere to ask these guys
at the airlines who have those things there to keep the noise
of the jet from deafening them, how you can get hold of one of
those things. And I think if I put those on, I can maybe study
a bit more effectively. But there are times when I may
hear, I won't say anything Joel's here, but I'll say I hear Beth
downstairs and I'll hear her fussing about something and maybe
Mommy's down in the washroom and hasn't gotten to her. When
I recognize from the tone of her voice or the tone of her
cry or the way she's talking to Heidi that she desperately
needs some individual fatherly instruction. Now she's not down
there crying for it and saying, Daddy, will you please come?
I need your help. Now, when she sees Daddy coming,
she is particularly appreciative because she knows what's going
to happen. She's got a spitfire temper, and she's one of these
that shoots and aims later if she aims at all. And you see,
as a father, I have an obligation to give her individual attention
and to vary my instruction and exhortation and charging according
to that present need. Now, in the same way, Every believer
has this need. All those are blessed times when
the believer comes to an elder, to a ruling, teaching elder,
to a pastor, and says, look, as a child of God, I've got a
need. Do you have any instructions
in the scripture to help me? And my conscience pretty well
left me at ease when I thought of that aspect. I don't know
of anyone who's ever come I haven't sought to enter in and give that
kind of counsel. But you know where my conscience
smoked me? In going after Beth. Seeing situations and conditions
in the lives of God's children that I know need fatherly discipline. But because I'm not sure it's
wanted, I'm fearful to give it. God smoked my heart on that thing,
and by the grace of God, I'm going to seek to be a better
pastor in this area. And the motive is exactly the same. I
love my Beth too much to let her think she can go through
life having a little temper tantrum every time things don't go her
way. And if I love you and I see you doing that which is going
to destroy you spiritually, And I've got to come whether
you like it or not. And exhort you. And encourage you. And charge you. See, there's the lesson. Now,
that applies not just to the pastor. But how about you Sunday
school teachers? When the chunkster raises his
hand and says, Miss so-and-so, Miss so-and-messy after class,
and they come with a problem. Another joy. What about the one
who never takes that initiative? Do you have an obligation? to
go to them, discharging that individual concern expressed
with varied kinds of instruction to meet their needs? You do.
Are you doing it? How about as a parent? This philosophy,
well, I don't want to ram things down my kid's throat, you know,
so I'll just... Paul didn't have that attitude.
He said, as a father with his children, we exhorted. The times
when you asked for it, yes, and the times when you didn't, but
my fatherly concern was such that I had to speak. I spoke,
not as pleasing men, as he says earlier, but God who crieth the
heart. So it applies in all of these
areas. The third principle that's here
in our text is that every child of God needs both the feminine
and masculine virtues in the development of his own
life and walk with God. The same Paul who could say,
we were among you as a gentle nursing mother, says we were
also toward you as a training, authoritative, loving, but firm
father. Every Christian needs both. The
nursing mother, gentleness and self-sacrifice and patience. The ruling father's authority,
wisdom, firmness and understanding. Now, by nature and temperament,
all of us tend to either like more the nursing mother or the
ruling father. That's why people say, I'm of
Paul. He's the father. I'm of Apollonus.
He's the mother. See? By nature and temperament
and background and all the rest, every one of us, by nature, will
either gravitate more and respond more to the feminine or masculine
characteristics of a faithful minister. But the Apostle Paul
refused to be lopsided, and by the grace of God, he exercised
both toward the people of Thessalonica. And we need both. There's some
people you drag out the promises and pour in the oil of consolation
in their all ears, and they've got their bucket out there getting
every last drop of comfort. But you begin to charge and exhort
them like a father, and they'll turn you off quicker than anything.
And they do it to their own harm. For you see, that child needs
not only the gentleness of his nursing mother, but he needs
the firmness and direction of a guiding father. And so in our
own spiritual lives, dear ones, let's cry to God that we shall
have grace to embrace both aspects, for we stand in desperate need
of both. Now I want this morning to make
the secondary application for this passage, though primarily
speaking of the mark of the true ministry being that of a training
father as well as a nursing mother, has some, I think, very helpful
instruction to us who are parents. There is in this passage a word
to parents in general and then a word to fathers in particular. Just as in the church the believer
needs desperately the nursing mother gentleness and the ruling
father authority, so in the realm of the family, of the home. Listen
to me, parents. Your children, if they are to
develop normally, if they are to develop to be what God wants
them to be, they desperately need the full exercise of all
the feminine graces and the masculine graces of all the maternal and
the paternal responsibilities in the framework of the household.
God has so ordered his world and has so ordered the structure
of the family that the child who is robbed even of the full
expression of the maternal influence or the full expression of the
paternal influence in some way. Unless the grace of God makes
it up through other channels, that child is going to be warped. Now listen to me, parents. There
are some of you mothers who are not exercising your maternal,
your distinctive maternal office to your children. You're out
earning bread when you're out to be home training children. And five or ten years from now
you're going to come with me and say, Pastor, what happened? Frankly, I'll find it hard to
weep with you. God forgive me, but I will. For
the scripture is clear that the woman, the mother, is to be there
with her children. And some of you fathers who are
exercising but one little aspect of your paternal responsibility
in that you bring home the bread and the gravy and put it on the
table But of that individual involvement with your children,
so that you're instructing them, encouraging them, charging them,
you know nothing. You're leaving that to your wife. Is it no wonder? When the mess
we're in in our society, when in the professing Church of Christ,
believers who say they believe the Bible cannot take the clear
instruction that says, Fathers, rear your children. Mothers,
be jeepers at home. What could be clearer than that,
beloved? That's not my cranky opinion. That's the Word of God. The aged women are to teach the
younger women to love their husbands, to be chaste, discreet keepers
at home. I didn't put that there. God
embodied it right here. No, no, I refuse to believe that
circumstances ever make it necessary to violate the Word of God. If
you as a parent can say, well, my circumstances are such that
I was violated, then your kids can come to you and say, Dad,
Mom, you taught me thou shalt not commit adultery, but my circumstances
are such that I can't help it, so I've done it. And their argument
is as valid as yours. Just as valid. Just as valid. Just as valid. If I can make
myself an exception to the clear precepts of God, so can they.
And my heart yearns far better, beloved, and I say it honestly,
I say it with a burdened heart, to sell all we've got and get
a shack out in the country and plant some beans and tailors
and live the simple life just a breath away from the hippie
life. that as a mother we can exert our maternal influence
and as a father exert our paternal influence for God's ordained
by this means to bring our children to normalcy. And so there's a
word to us as parents in general. I say to you young women who
are not yet married, established before you ever say, I do. what
your role is in the light of the Word of God. And all of the
couples here whom I've been privileged to counsel before marriage will
know this is the first place we start, so that you get some
clear guidelines. Now I'm not talking about those
exceptions that may be before children come along, or if there
are no children. I fully realize those are some
exceptions. But I'm talking, beloved, about
the issues that are clear. when God has given us precious
lives to rear for His glory. And so the word to us as parents
is to recognize that the shaping and molding of these lives is
our highest calling and our greatest responsibility, second only to
our responsibility to know and serve our God. Children to be trained takes
time. Takes time! If you're going to
give that individual instruction, you've got to know where the
needs are. If you're going to vary it, you've got to know why
it should be varied. It takes time. It takes involvement. It's a full-time responsibility.
Now may I give a word to the fathers in particular in closing.
What image do your children have of you, Dad? What image do your children have
of you? Suppose I were to go to your children today and say,
now look, Johnny, Pete, Joel, Charles, what's your image of
your daddy? When you think of daddy, what
do you think of? What would he put down? Provider. Daddy brings
home the bacon. Alright, what would he put after
that? Comma. Would it be hard put to put anything else there? Could he put down there, counselor, concerned about me,
comma, buddy, spending time with me, comma? Could he put those things
that Paul mentions here? The one who teaches me, the one
who comforts me, the one who charges me, Paul says, life as
a father does this, so we did, intimating that a true father
has these marks. What's the image your children
have of you, Dad? What is it? Is it this image? Is it? That's your responsibility. That's your responsibility. Nobody
can make it up for you. You young fellows, All of you,
probably without exception, inside of you. I don't want to get you
married too early, but I'll make it broad. Ten years from now,
you're all going to be hitched up, good and proper. Not me,
huh? You'll change your tune in a
while, you will be. And many of you, the Lord tarries and
spares you, you will have already fathered a child or two. As you
think of that awesome responsibility, what's your image of that role? The curse of this thing, generally,
you don't see it and get it unless you've seen it. It's more caught
than taught. And the pity is there are so
few fathers in our day who, by their example, are training their
own sons to be fathers in this sense. Who are the spiritual
administrators of their home. There are more than that. Counselor,
buddy, friend. Instructor to the children individually. That costs something. Costs something. Well, now Will's interested in
that little thing my kid's interested in. Well, I'm not interested
in it, but he is. And so I bend my interest to
his. Deny myself. He wants to read that stupid
little fairy story. Well, it's not stupid to him. So I read it and get excited,
just like I never heard it before. Eh? I mean, who wants to go out
there? I mean, you know, if you got
the athletic ability to go out and throw a ball, you want to
throw it at a guy that can catch. Who wants to go out there and have
to go... Eh? I mean, man, if we're going to
play ball, let's play ball. Let's get somebody who can catch.
Let's get somebody who can throw. How'd you learn it? So you go on out there and you... Who needs to be a father? Who
wants to take time? You're just going out the door
and you've got your plans and you notice that the son or daughter
has talked back to mama. Who wants to take time to sit
down and explain why they shouldn't do this? Throw it off on the
wife. She's so tired, she says, well,
let's just forget it. So sloppy discipline patterns
are established because the father won't take his role. I don't
want to go on and expand this and make it a message on fatherhood,
but I hope I've dropped enough seeds this morning that will
cause every father, actual or prospective, to soberly reflect
upon the biblical concept of the role of a father. And Ephesians
6.4 is perhaps the most pivotal text in all of Scripture, where
it says, Rear your children in the nurture and admonition of
the Lord, not mothers! Fathers do it! Now for some of
you whose husbands are not saved and couldn't care less, of course
you've got to make up the slack and do it. But I'm talking to
you fathers who profess to be the Lord's, profess to be His
own children. that you and I as fathers will
take our role, take the lead in assuming and discharging the
role that God himself has given unto us. Now, it would grieve
me deeply if anyone went out this morning saying, well, the
pastor's written me off, he says I'm sick. No, beloved, listen,
all I ask you to do is what dear Mrs. Stair said the other morning.
If you're a mother, And you are shirking your role for one reason
or another, giving yourself to that of exercising your maternal
responsibility. Here's all I ask, that you go
to Scripture and you stay in Scripture until you can come
away with Scripture to justify your actions. Because when you
stand before God, you're going to have to. That's all I ask. Beloved, I am not your judge.
to his own master a servant standeth upon. And any of you mothers
who can shirk domestic responsibility for other paternal responsibilities,
I do not judge you. I never have and I never will.
But I exhort you to judge yourself in the light of the Word of God.
Isn't that fair enough? And if you cannot from the Scriptures
honestly, justly handled, justify your action, then beloved, you
better stop right now and leave the consequences with God, for
He has said, if you seek first my kingdom and my righteousness,
every other thing will be added unto you, and that thing is bread
and clothing in its content. I know in our own assembly some
who have sought by the grace of God to take that course of
action and God has indicated. They're not here this morning
so I think I should use them as an illustration. Herb and
Ros will let her a living witness of this. Selling a home, leaving
a business, coming down with nothing to go into Bible school
with three little kids. And a husband who said to his
wife, you're home with those children, I'm a full-time student,
a part-time worker, but God will meet our needs. And they live
in a perpetual miracle, the way God meets their needs. Why? For one reason, they're just
simple enough to believe he's married. So no matter when a
financial need comes, the first recourse is, oh well, we better
go looking for a job for Roz. No. Let's get down on our knees.
God's got a new way of meeting our needs. The other thing isn't
open for debate! It's not open for debate! Because the word of God is spoken.
Now, I don't do that to exalt them. To show this is not just
a lot of talk. If I were to use our own example,
I know what some of you think. Oh, what do you know about it?
You don't have to pay rent. The church pays your rent. What do you know
about it? I've been for five years. Nobody
paid my rent. Nobody even guaranteed me a dime
a week, and there were two or three weeks at a time when I
didn't see a dime of income. But our rent was paid every month,
and our car payment was paid, and every need was met. We ate simply, never knew what
the state faced in life. I don't look the worst for it. God met our needs. And we gave
the Lord His portion. No matter how close the budget,
it was never debatable, does God get his part? God gets his
part. And God will vindicate and God
will honor. Are you going to prove him? God will
write a little miracle book in your life. He will? Prove me now, herewith, sayeth
the Lord. You know how we dealt with each
one of you as a father doth his children, exhorting, encouraging,
and charging. May God grant that we shall hear
the voice of the Lord, not only in those great principles that
relate to our spiritual development, that we need the life and the
lift together, that we need the feminine and masculine characteristics
of a God-ordained ministry, May we hear the voice of God in this
secondary application to us parents in general, fathers in particular,
and I trust that you receive the word and the love with which
it has come, and I trust in the authority of God upon which it
has been based. Father, we thank Thee for Thy
father heart, full of such compassion for us as Thy poor, ignorant,
oftentimes disobedient, erring children. We thank Thee for Thy
corrective word. We thank Thee for Thy disciplining
rod. We thank Thee Thou dost love
us enough to apply the rod lest we destroy ourselves by our headstrong
rebellion. And Father, we plead that Thy
Word shall do its work in our hearts today, bringing every
one of us to a new implicit trust in the Word of God. Lord, take
away from us the unbelief that would rationalize and cause us
to say it just doesn't work. O by thy grace and mercy, enable
us not only to know, but to do that which would be well pleasing
in thy sight, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.