Verbal Communication #4

Q: What does the Bible say about verbal communication?

The Bible teaches that verbal communication among believers should be characterized by truthfulness, edification, and a refusal to speak evil of one another. The Scriptures, particularly in James and the epistles of Paul, lay down clear guidelines for verbal communication among believers. In James 4:11, we are commanded not to speak against one another, while Ephesians 4:29 emphasizes that our words should be used for building up rather than tearing down. Colossians 3:8 instructs believers to put away abusive and corrupt speech, emphasizing the importance of purity and truth in our interactions. Overall, these teachings encourage believers to reflect the love of Christ in their communication and to use their words to edify others.

Q: How do we know the importance of speaking truthfully?

The Bible emphasizes that speaking truthfully is foundational to maintaining trust and community among God's people. The importance of speaking truthfully is underscored in Colossians 3:9-10, where believers are commanded not to lie to one another, as they have put off the old man with its practices. In a world filled with distrust, truthfulness is critical for maintaining healthy relationships within the body of Christ. Deceit destroys community and undermines the credibility of our witness. The Scriptures declare that our speech should reflect the new identity we have in Christ, fostering an environment of trust and love among believers.

Q: Why is it important for Christians to avoid negative speech?

Avoiding negative speech is crucial because it protects the unity of the church and reflects the character of Christ. James 4:11-12 warns against speaking evil of one another, indicating that such behavior usurps God's authority in judging others. Negative speech can easily lead to division, strife, and mistrust within the church. By refraining from slander and gossip, Christians protect the unity of the body and demonstrate the love of Christ that should mark all our interactions. This not only preserves harmony among believers but also brings glory to God as we reflect His character in our relationships.

Q: How can Christians use their words to encourage others?

Christians can encourage others by speaking words that build them up and convey grace. Ephesians 4:29 instructs believers to let no unwholesome talk come out of their mouths but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs. This means being intentional with our words, offering encouragement, comfort, and support. Colossians 3:16 also reflects this by encouraging believers to teach and admonish one another with wisdom. In practice, this could involve sharing Scripture, offering a listening ear, or simply expressing appreciation. Such speech dispenses grace and nurtures spiritual growth among the body of Christ.

Q: What should Christians do if they realize they have spoken negatively?

Christians should confess their wrongdoing and seek to make amends with those affected. When Christians recognize that they have spoken negatively or inappropriately, the appropriate response is to confess their sin to God and, when necessary, to the individual(s) they have wronged. James 5:16 encourages believers to confess their sins to one another for healing. This act not only restores relationships but also reinforces accountability within the community. Practicing such humility demonstrates a genuine commitment to living according to God's commands and fosters a culture of grace and forgiveness within the church.

This sermon was preached on Sunday
evening, February 26th, 1984, at the Trinity Baptist Church
in Montville, New Jersey. Now let us again address our
God in prayer. Our Father, we do confess that
we can think of no more appropriate prayer to utter in your presence. As we stand on the threshold
of this hour in which our minds will be brought into direct contact
with your Holy Word and the prayer of young Samuel, speak, Lord,
for your servants here. Our Father, we would bring you
our hearts and acknowledge that we desire that you will search
them even to the darkest corners, and that with the psalmist we
cry, Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me, and see if
there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. We pray that you will not only
expose the dark, shadowy corners of our hearts, But, O Lord, shed
fresh light upon the path of duty, and then so work in our
hearts that with the psalmist we may also exclaim, I will run
in the way of your commandments when you shall enlarge my heart. We believe, O God, that many,
vowed in your presence in this moment, have come not to play
games, but to have dealings with you. People who desire to have
their hearts feel the impress of the Word by the power of the
Spirit, and who sit with a disposition of determination to do whatever
You will say. Speak then, we pray, to such
that they may leave encouraged and strengthened and instructed. And our Father, for those in
whose hearts there is resistance to Your will, areas blocked off,
areas walled off, areas where there is no desire for the light
of the Word to penetrate and for the will and the affections
to be changed. O Lord, invade those walled off
areas by mighty power. Storm the walls this night. Break
down every barrier to your truth and carry every heart before
your Word. Hear us, O mighty God of grace
and power, for the sake of your beloved Son. Now we come this evening to the
fourth and final message in this brief series of studies on the
general theme of verbal communication. We do have not a few tonight
who have not been with us for the previous studies and particularly
for their sakes let me take just several minutes to give a brief
synopsis of what we've covered thus far. In our initial study,
I set before you what I called a broad overview of the biblical
doctrine of verbal communication, and focusing our attention particularly
in the opening chapters of Genesis, we saw that God himself is the
model of what true godly communication is. God is the great verbal communicator. And then in the last two studies,
we have taken our Lord's words in Matthew 7, 12, commonly called
the Golden Rule. As you would that others do unto
you, even so do ye also unto them, for this is the law of
the prophets. And having briefly expounded the text, we have applied
it to this matter of verbal communication, particularly as communication
is made up essentially of a speaking mouth and of a hearing ear. And
so we applied the golden rule to the mouth that speaks two
Lord's Day evenings ago, and then last Lord's Day evening
we applied the golden rule to the ear that hears. Now in this,
our closing study, we're going to concentrate our attention
on what I have entitled some cardinal texts pertaining to
verbal communication among the people of God. Now there are
many aspects of the use of the tongue that I'm not touching
upon in this present and brief series. Some of you perhaps heard
some years ago a series entitled The Bridal Tongue that's available
in the Trinity Pulpit Tape Library. God seems to have used that series
of sermons in many places through the years and if you want some
more extended general instruction on the whole subject of the use
of the tongue, I commend that series to you, but tonight our
field of concentration is narrow. We're going to look at some of
the cardinal texts of scripture which address themselves to verbal
communication among the people of God. text in which the people
of God as the people of God in general are addressed concerning
how they use their tongues in their interaction one with another. Now almost all of these texts
that we will consider tonight are couched in the imperative,
that is they are commands. Several of them are negative
in which we are commanded not to do certain things and others
are positive, in which we are commanded to do certain things. And so the bulk of the exposition
will be an opening up of some divine precepts, some commandments
of God. And as we stand on the threshold
of a message in which the bulk of the exposition will be taken
up with precepts, with commands, we need to remind ourselves of
three fundamental realities whenever we engage in such an exercise. First of all, we need to remind
ourselves of the fact of the authority of Christ who gives
the commands and demands that his servants teach and preach
those commands. As we meet, we need to recognize
afresh and bring up to the level of present consciousness that
the authority of Christ stands behind these commands, and it
is his authority which not only gives the commands themselves,
but demands that his servants teach and preach the commands.
And of course the text that brings all of that truth into sharp
focus is Matthew 28, 18. All authority has been given
unto me in heaven and upon earth, going therefore make disciples
of all the nations, baptizing them and teaching them to observe
whatsoever I have commanded you. And it's interesting that the
teaching mandate, according to Matthew 28, focuses upon the
element that we're engaged in tonight. Teaching them to observe
what I have commanded. That is, engage in a teaching
ministry that will be top-heavy in its ethical content. And behind
that stands the one who said, all authority has been given
unto me. These are my commands and I command
my servants to teach them to my people. And then the second
thing we need to remember whenever we come to a message that deals
primarily in precepts, we need to remind ourselves of this fact,
namely, the believer's reflexive love to Christ which motivates
him to obey such commands. There is such a reality as the
reflexive love to Christ which motivates every true believer
to obey the commands of his Lord. We love Him because He first
loved us. Our love to Christ is the fruit
of the believing, appreciative reception of His love to us. But, whenever there has been
a believing reception of His redemptive love to us, there
will inevitably follow this reflexive love to Christ. And how does
that love express itself? Jesus tells us, John 14, 21,
He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that
loveth me. You measure your love to Christ
supremely by this test. Do I receive unto practical obedience
his precepts? You don't measure your love to
Christ by whether or not you get goose bumps when you're in
a congregation like this one tonight and you hear this glorious
singing and get all tingles and thrills and goose flesh and you
say, oh, I must love Christ. No, no. Here's the test. He that
hath my commandments and keeps them, he it is that loves me.
The real test of your love to Christ is not what you felt in
the singing, but it's what you do with the preaching tonight.
That's the real test. He that loveth me not may have
goosebumps when he hears my praises sung, but he does not keep my
word, Jesus said. So we need to remind ourselves
of this great reality, the believer's reflexive love to Christ, which
motivates him to obey these commands. And then thirdly, we need to
remind ourselves of this great reality, the divine provisions
of God in Christ by which believers are enabled to obey his commands. The divine provisions of God
in Christ by which believers are enabled to obey. I can do all things through him
who strengthens Even me, Philippians 4.13, work out your own salvation
with fear and trembling. Yes, Philippians 2.12.4, it is
God who works in you both to will and to work for His good
pleasure. Now let's seek to come to these
cardinal texts pertaining to verbal communication, almost
all of them imperatives, commands, not to do this and to do that
in the spirit of those three great realities. The authority
of Christ that stands behind the precepts, the reflexive love
to Christ which causes our hearts to reach out towards the precepts,
and the mighty power of God in Christ by which we are enabled
to keep his precepts. All right, what I've done is
basically to categorize the text under the two basic categories
of the cardinal negative injunctions and then secondly the cardinal
positive injunctions and then thirdly some concluding perspectives
on these verses. First of all, then, the cardinal
negative injunctions. What does God say to us, his
people, with regard to our verbal communication, one with another,
that is cast in a negative form? Turn, please, to James, chapter
4, for the first of these cardinal texts. James chapter 4. As you know, James has much to
say about the use of the tongue, particularly in the third chapter. It says something in the first
chapter as well. But now here in the fourth chapter,
the word is very clear. James 4, 11 and 12. Speak not
one against another, brethren. Here is an exhortation, a command
couched in the negative form, do not speak against one another,
brethren. He that speaks against a brother,
or judges his brother, speaks against the law, and judges the
law. But if you judge the law, you
are not a doer of the law, but a judge. One only is the lawgiver
and judge, even he who is able to save and to destroy. But who
are you that judges your neighbor. Here we are commanded in the
plainest words, do not speak one against another. And as Lenski
has suggested, probably the best idiom by which to reflect this
in current Americanese is, don't run one another down. To speak
against one another is to run down one brother or sister in
the ears of another brother or sister. And the great motivation
that James sets before us in buttressing this command is when
you engage in running down a brother or a sister by speaking evil
of them, you have left your place as a creature and you've usurped
the prerogatives of God. You've ceased to be a law keeper
and you now have become a judge of the law. You have, as it were,
in principle, pushed God off his throne and set yourself up
as that person's judge. That's the terrible arrogance
of running down a fellow believer, usurping the rights of the God,
the God who is the master before whom each servant stands or falls. Now how easy it is to speak against
one another. What is there in our remaining
sin that acts in such a perverse way that we hardly need to think,
and before we know it, we are magnifying the faults of our
brothers and sisters in the ears of another brother or No good
comes from it, there is nothing constructive that comes from
it, and many times we are not even put in a better light because
of it. It's understandable, albeit perverse,
when we speak evil of another in order to make what we say
about the other the very platform upon which we raise ourselves.
At least there's something rational, wickedly rational, but rational
nonetheless. But so often, when we speak against
a brother or sister, There's no explanation except the perversity
of the human heart that finds a channel in our tongues. And
what would happen in any congregation where every person united to
Jesus Christ made conscience of this text? Do not speak one
against another. Every time I speak against my
brother or sister in the ears of another brother or sister,
I am usurping the place that belongs only to God. And we need to load our consciences
with that command. Now, the second cardinal negative
injunction is found in Colossians 3.9, Colossians chapter 3 and
verse 9. The Lord Jesus, speaking through
his inspired apostle, Paul, in the plenitude of his authority,
says to us, his people, lie not one to another, seeing that you
have put off the old man with his doings. And then the parallel
passage, which is stated In a more positive vein is Ephesians 4.25,
wherefore, putting away falsehood, speak truth, each one with his
neighbor. Put away falsehood, speak truth. Both are couched in the positive,
though one is a putting away and the other is to speak truth,
but here in Colossians we are commanded in the simplest language,
do not lie one to another. Here's an injunction concerning
verbal communication amongst the people of God. Don't lie
one to another. Don't deliberately, knowingly,
falsely represent reality. That's what lying is. Under no
circumstances are we to lie to one another. Now the text does
not say that under all circumstances I am always under obligation
to tell everything I know simply because someone asks me. It is
perfectly proper in certain situations to say it is neither right nor
judicious for me to answer your question. It is not at this time
appropriate for me to make you privy to a certain body of knowledge,
but falsely to represent reality, to know that a certain set of
facts represents reality, and deliberately to twist that either
by not speaking forth that reality or speaking forth certain parts
of it while saying that I'm conveying the whole and thereby conveying
an entirely erroneous conception of what that issue is, I'm violating
this injunction to lie not one to another. And what reason does
Paul give? He says, seeing you have put
off the old man with his deeds. One of the outstanding characteristics
of unregenerate man is his lying. His mouth is full of deceit,
the scripture says. They go astray from the wounds
people rise. And surely you can relate to
this living in our generation. When truth falls from a society,
the glue that holds communication together as a meaningful exchange
is gone. Each man who's a liar doesn't
trust what the other man says because he assumes he's like
himself. And he will lie for advantage, so he assumes this
man will lie. He will look a man straight in
the eye and say this is a fair price when he knows it isn't,
but he knows the other guy will do it to him, so there's suspicion.
And the mark of the old man and the old humanity is the suspicion,
the lack of trust that grows out of the lack of speaking true
But Paul says, in the new humanity, amongst those who have put off
the old man with his doings, truth ought to mark all of their
verbal exchanges with each other. As the new humanity, we can only
walk in trust as we walk in the realm of truth. This is what
Jesus meant when he said, you shouldn't have to take an oath
and swear that what you say is true by the temple and by heaven
and by the angels. Let your yes be a yes. Let your
no be a no. Would you like to come over to
my house for supper? No. Not oh yes, but, and then
you lie and think up some reason, quotation marks, because you're
afraid you'll hurt the person if you say no. I really wouldn't
like to spend an evening in your home. You've got a bunch of little
unruly brats and I think I'd leave the home after three hours
pulling my hair out. Now when you say no, you may
not have to tell them all the reasons. But if they say, would you like
to come to my house? You've got to be honest. And
say no, really I don't think I'd like to. I appreciate the
invitation. Now if they say, why not? Now at that point you'll be tempted
to lie. Think up something, oh well I have a previous appointment,
no that's not the truth. Why not? Even on a little thing
like a social engagement, and why you can't accept it. And
you say, well my brother, my sister, do you really want me
to tell you why? Oh yes. Some of the things may
not be very pleasant to hear. Do you still want me to tell
you? Yes. Well do you have a half hour
at least so we can sit down and talk? I mean make sure they're
telling you to aim the gun and pull the trigger before you do
it. Then when the bullets come and say, you asked for it. You
see the point? Lie not one to another because
once you've discovered that even in such a thing as what people
call little white lies, those distinctions men make, God doesn't.
Once you discover that someone has lied to you, it shatters
all trust and communication utterly breaks. And what an oasis the
new humanity should be in a society full of distrust. Because of
lying as a way of life, what a refreshing thing it should
be to step amongst our brothers and sisters and know that their
yes is yes, and their no is no, and they are refusing to speak
anything but truth one to another. Oh, may God grant that that will
increasingly mark us as the people of God. Don't speak against one
another. Don't run one another down. Don't
lie one to another. But then there's a third cardinal
injunction cast in the negative form, Colossians 3.8. Just look
up a verse, Colossians 3.8. But now, do you also put them
all away, anger, wrath, malice, railing, shameful speaking out
of your mouth? Put away. Don't indulge in this
kind of speech. And anger, wrath, and malice
are probably pointing in the direction of dispositions of
the heart, though they often find expression in the activity
of communication. But railing Shameful speaking
out of your mouth. Railing is abusive speech. Shameful speaking is a difficult
Greek word to translate. Some suggest it should be translated
as obscene or unclean speaking out of your mouth. It probably
points in that direction. of speech that is tinged with
double innuendo, that does not reflect the highest standards
of purity. He says, you are to put these
things away. Now combine Colossians 3.8 with
two verses in Ephesians. Ephesians 4.29. Let no corrupt
speech no putrid speech proceed out
of your mouth, let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth,
and then Ephesians 5, 4, nor filthiness nor foolish talking
or jesting which are not befitting. And in the context he goes on
to say, for know this of a surety, no fornicator nor unclean person
And it would appear that the kind of speech again that he's
talking about enters into that realm that is common fair in
our generation. One cannot even turn on a so-called
educational talk show without hearing filth poured out. nor
filthiness, nor foolish talking or jesting which are not befitting."
Now when we put Ephesians 4, 29, 5, 4 with Colossians 3, 8,
what do we have? Here we have a mandate to put
away in our interaction with one another all abusive, obscene,
corrupting, and unbecoming speech. Now you see, Paul was a great
realist, wasn't he? He was writing to the saints.
He was writing to those there at Ephesus whom He describes
as chosen in Christ, redeemed and accepted in the Beloved,
sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. In Colossians, He's
writing in that very chapter to those who have been crucified
with Christ, who have been raised with Him, are seated with Him,
and yet to such people He needs to say, put away all abusive,
obscene, corrupting, and unbecoming speech. Thank God for the realism
of the Word of God. May I suggest that it's been
my pastoral observation, though you can't make hard, fast categories,
that when men get together, perhaps their greatest temptation, even
Christian men, is to drift into speech that at least borders
on the obscene and often is unbecoming speech. It is not speech that
is convenient, speech that reflects a conscious awareness that every
word I speak is spoken in the years of God, so that even when
I'm with a group of my friends, and they are all men, and when
it might be proper in that context to use speech a little less than
elegant, when in a wholesome masculine way it may be proper
to use a bit more earthiness in our speech, we must never
get even near that which could be called obscene or unbecoming
speech. Though men can be guilty as well
as women of abusive and corrupting speech, I would say probably
it's more their temptation. I'm talking about Christian women
now. I know in the world The foulest mouths, it seems now,
are found amongst women. The past couple of years have
utterly shocked me to hear the language coming out of women.
But amongst Christian women, the temptation perhaps is more
in the direction of abusive and corrupting speech, speech that
has no wholesome influence. When people imbibe it, it does
not feed them and edify, but has a corrupting and negative
effect upon them. Well, the Word of God is clear.
We are not to indulge in this kind of speech. Why? Because
we are members one of another. We are indwelt by the Holy Spirit. We have put off the old man.
In other words, such speech is a contradiction of all that God
in grace has made us. The great pressure of these passages
upon our consciences should be this, our speech either affirmed
the reality of what God in Christ has made us or denies it. Has
he made us new men? Well, what's a new man without
a new tongue? And a tongue that was once dishonest
and spoke corrupt things and obscene things, a tongue that
once was marked by railing and abusive speech, if that's the
tongue of a new man, it ought to be a new tongue. It puts away
all such speech. So we bring the three negatives
together and what does God say to us as people in our verbal
communication one to another? Don't speak one against another. Don't run one another down. Do
not lie one to another. Don't ever knowingly, deliberately
deceive one another. And then that last grouping,
don't ever make each other's ears the receptacles of that
which will corrupt after we have spoken it. Happy is the people
of God who take these simple injunctions seriously. Lay them to heart. Happy the
elders who have the privilege of shepherding a flock of God's
people who take those cardinal negative injunctions seriously. Take them seriously and lay them
to heart. We must hasten on now and look
at three of the cardinal positive injunctions. Nothing profound,
just reading the text, making a few comments, trying to bring
their cumulative weight upon the conscience of this congregation.
Here are the positive injunctions, and God talks about our verbal
communication with one another in both ways. He gives us negatives,
He gives us positives. The first positive is We are
to edify or build one another up with words. Look at Colossians
3 and verse 16. Remember, this is not written
to pastors, to elders, to public teachers. This is written to
all of the people of God. Colossians 3. Notice verse 15,
let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to the which also
you were called in one body, he's thinking of the church as
one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell
in you richly in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another. In all wisdom teaching one another. In other words, though Christ
has, according to Ephesians 4, set in the church pastors and
teachers with a distinct function, having endowed them with distinct
and special gifts, it is not only by the words of pastor-teachers
in their public and private ministry that the church is edified, but
according to Colossians 3, it's as that word which they teach
formally and publicly in a more structured way so richly suffuses
our hearts that we teach one another. And the Word of God
so lives in us that it leaks out in our interaction with one
another. As that word in its public, formal,
more authoritative administration comes to us unto edification,
so it comes in this more informal interaction of the people of
God. What a wonderful thing when Christians
think, think when they get together. How can I judiciously, without
seeming to put on airs of being super pious, how can I judiciously
and naturally Share with my brother, share with my sister what God's
been teaching me out of His own Word, as that Word has come to
me in the crucible of my own struggles as a father, as a wife,
as a husband, as a single woman, as someone seeing my youth slip
away from me and entering old age and facing the certainty
of the grave and the world to come. What has God been saying
to me from His own Word, in my own devotions, in my own reading,
in the public preaching? Let that Word dwell in you richly,
teaching one another. We are to edify one another. The same emphasis in Ephesians
4 and verse 29. Ephesians 4 and verse 29. The negative, let no corrupt
speech proceed out of your mouth, but here's the positive, such
as is good for the building up of the need, such as is good
for edifying as the need may be. Now think of this, that it
may give grace to them that hear. Isn't that an amazing thing? There's a means of grace between
your two cheeks. It's your tongue. And your tongue
can be the conveyor of grace to another. You say, I thought
all grace was in Christ. He is the one great deposit of
grace. That's true. But He mediates
that grace, not only through the public preaching of the Word
and all the other means, but through the Spirit-directed use
of that tongue of yours in your ordinary interaction with your
brothers and sisters. O may we lay to heart this positive
injunction that we are to edify one another with our Though the
circumstances differ, it's interesting that the same emphasis that comes
through with respect to the exercise of special gifts in public ministry
comes through in the informal exercise of verbal communication
amongst the people of God. What's the cardinal rule in 1
Corinthians 14 and verse 26? Let all things be done unto edification. Paul is regulating disorders
at Corinth in the exercise of special gifts in the public gathering,
and he's regulating all of it with this great ending view that
everything said shall be unto edification. He says in the same
way, in all of our interaction, what we say to one another should
be unto edification. Now that does not mean, as I
once thought as a young Christian, that unless I can explicitly
talk about the Bible, and God, and Christ, and Christian experience,
I was to say nothing. I took this seriously. I really
did. And I became like a monk. I would sit at the table, I can
remember, it's as vivid in my mind as though it were yesterday,
and that was way back, kids, in the dark ages. It was the
fall of 1952, I'll never forget it, and I sat at the table in
a dining hall with a couple of thousand students, and there
were eight or ten of us at the table, And the only thing I would
say is, please pass this or please pass that, unless the conversation
was about God, Christ, the Bible, Christian experience. I took
this seriously. That everything had to be positively edifying
and minister grace, and by that I thought it had to be directly,
explicitly, patently about God, Christ, the Bible, or Christian
experience. You say, you're crazy. No. I was just dead in earnest
to please my Savior, and I was a bit ignorant. And then God
taught me a little more of his ways, and I realize that I can
build up a brother who's weighed down with a host of burdens by
injecting into the perspective of his present heaviness a little
innocent humor. But you see, I inject the humor
with a view to building It's not idle humor. It's not pointless
humor. It's not humor that has any cast
of the unclean or the unbefitting. It's humor calculated to cheer
up my brother because the scripture speaks of a merry heart being
goodness. And it may be something that
is not directly related to God, Christ, the Bible, and Christian
experience, but its impact upon my brother, my sister, is not
to tear him down, but to build him up. This is our responsibility,
one to another. We're to edify. one another with
our words. Colossians 3 points more in the
direction of the more focused, concentrated use of sharing what
we have learned of God in his words. Speaking one to another
in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. But then the second positive
injunction that I want to set before you is this. We are to
exhort, comfort, and encourage one another. We are to exhort,
comfort, and encourage one another. And in a sense, this may be a
subdivision of building up one another, but I'm not too concerned
about technical divisions. I want to get the main text before
you. Some of you will remember when I had the occasion to expound
Hebrews 3, that I pointed out that when we are told in verse
13 to exhort one another daily, that most of us have a misconception
of exhortation. We think of it in terms of admonition
or rebuke. But the fundamental meaning of
exhortation is not negative but positive. To exhort is to draw
alongside and to seek to motivate to action in a positive way.
In some places, it's actually translated in courage or to comfort
one another. Let's look at some of the key
texts, 1 Thessalonians chapter 4. After Paul corrects the misconceptions
about the resurrection of the living dead, of the living, I'm
sorry, and of the dead at the coming of Christ, he concludes
that passage, 1 Thessalonians 4, 13 and following, verse 18,
wherefore, comfort It's the word generally translated, exhort.
Comfort one another with these words. Now, what could be plainer?
Here are some words that are to be put into my mouth, conveyed
to another person's ear with a view to comforting him. And
it doesn't say, wherefore elders comfort the flock with these
words. There's nothing wrong with that. But it says, comfort
one another. And who are the one another?
Look up at verse 13. We would not have you ignorant
brethren. He's writing to the brethren,
the people of God, the family of God. They are to comfort one
another with the words of God. Chapter 5 and verse 11. Wherefore,
exhort one another. Same word. Marginal reading.
Wherefore, comfort one another and build each other up. And
here it may not be so much the thought of comfort, seeking to
still the troubled waters of a disrupted soul, but to encourage
and prod to positive action. In this context, the action would
be wakefulness in the light of the return of Christ, saying
to a brother or sister, how long has it been since you consciously
thought Jesus is coming back again? How long has it been since
you prayed, even so come Lord Jesus, Are you wakeful and watching
and anticipating His return? Exhort! Prod to action! Comfort! Encourage! Chapter 5,
verse 14b of the same chapter in Thessalonians, We exhort you,
brethren, admonish the disorderly, encourage the faint-hearted. Brethren, encourage the faint-hearted! Look around and find those who
are like Bunyan's Mr. Ready to Hold. And don't come
and clobber them and say, why in the world are you always dragging
behind? They are faint-hearted. Encourage
them. Draw alongside and encourage
them. Someone took my wife and me into
the first indoor track meet I've ever seen. Took us into the Mobile
U.S. Indoor Championships the other
night. And it was interesting to me to notice The people that
were the coaches and maybe close friends and often fellow team
members on the side of the track when someone was coming around
for that last lap and nearing a record or they were neck and
neck with another runner, they're there intensely shouting to them,
prodding them on, waving with their hands. What are they doing?
Encouraging them along the way. They didn't reach and stick their
foot out the trip. But oh, how often we do that
with an injudicious word. We stick our foot out and we
trip a brother, a sister who needs encouragement. We're to
do this one to another. You see, it's not enough that
you don't speak evil of your brethren. It's not enough that
you avoid the negatives. Are you doing the positives?
What brother or sister have you encouraged verbally in the last
week? What discouraged, disheartened brother have you drawn near to?
What sister? And encouraged. We are to exhort,
to comfort, and to encourage one another. There's that beautiful
statement in Isaiah. Most likely a reference to our
Lord. Verse 4 of Isaiah 15. The Lord Jehovah has given me
the tongue of them that are taught. That I may know how to sustain
with words him that is weary. That I may know how to sustain
with words him that is weary. People say talk is cheap. Well, in a sense it is. But who
can measure the worth in sterling gold, sterling silver, or in
pure gold? of a word fitly spoken in a time
when your spirit was battered, and in the language of the writer
to the Hebrews, your hands were hanging down and your knees were
feeble, who can measure the worth of a word spoken in that state
of weariness? that caused you to throw your
shoulders back, suck in some fresh air of confidence in the
grace of God, got your eyes off the dust and the mud of your
own sin and fixed upon Jesus, and before long you were once
again back in the track, running with patience the race that was
set before you. We ought to covet that skill
and cry to God to make us like our Savior, who knew how to sustain
with words him that was weary. We are positively to exhort,
comfort, and encourage one another. But then there's a third positive
injunction and it's this. We are to reprove, rebuke, and
admonish one another. We are to reprove, rebuke, and
admonish one another. You say, well, I thought the
Bible says that's what preachers are supposed to do. Well, they
are. Preach the word, Paul says to Timothy. Reprove, rebuke,
exhort. That is a biblical doctrine.
All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for
teaching. And he who expounds it must open up its teaching,
but he must not stop there. It's profitable for teaching.
For what? Reprove. not only for teaching,
but for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.
But all of that task is not upon preachers and elders. The Word
of God says we, believers as the family of God, are to be
active in reproving, rebuking, and admonishing one another. And I'm inclined to say that
there is perhaps no more difficult responsibility which we have
to one another than this. Let's look at some of the texts,
1 Thessalonians 5.14. The words are very simple and
straightforward, written again to all of the brethren, not to
a special class, but to all of the brethren. And we exhort you,
brethren, admonish the disorderly. The word admonition means to
point out the wrong and to give a word of correction to those
who are in the wrong. And it says the brethren are
to admonish the disorderly when someone begins to walk in a disorderly
fashion. when someone begins to absent
himself from the stated meanings, when someone perhaps begins to
be disorderly in speech and other patterns of life known to you
in the more intimate interaction you may have due to geographical
proximity or proximity forced upon you by working in the same
place. Don't wait until the matter becomes
so critical that it filters upward to the knowledge of the elders.
You, you believers, Love your brothers and sisters enough to
fulfill this responsibility of verbal communication. Admonish
the disorderly. Look at 2 Thessalonians 3, verse
6a, We beseech you, brethren. 2 Thessalonians 3, 6, We command
you, brethren. This is to all of the brethren.
Now what are the brethren to do? Verse 15, And yet count him
not as an enemy, one who has been brought under public censure
as disorderly. Don't count him as an enemy,
but admonish him as a brother. This is our responsibility to
engage in admonition. Then turn to Luke 17 and verse
3, the words of our Lord Jesus. Take heed to yourselves, if your
brother sin, Go sulk, and let your heart be full of all kinds
of resentment, and then tell every one of your close friends
about it? No, if your brother sinned, rebuke him. If he repented,
forgive him. And if he sinned against you
seven times in the day, and seven times turned again to you, saying,
I repent, you shall forgive him. But our Lord says, if he sinned,
rebuke him. Straightforward, simple. If he
sinned, rebuke him. if he offends your aesthetic
taste about the color of the tie he ought to wear. Or if he
doesn't happen to have your same views on matters of indifference. It doesn't say make yourself
a pope over men's consciences where the word of God is silent.
Sin is transgression of the law of God. Failure to live up to
God's law. God's given us his ten commandments,
don't you make seventy-five. If he sins, If he sinned, if
he violates the norms of God, rebuke him. If he repents, forgive
him the indication points in the direction of a sin that is
done against me, a violation of the law of God which is terminated
upon me. Now I'm not to sulk, I'm not
to draw back, let walls go up between me and my brother. If
I believe my brother sinned, I'm to go. And in the language
of Matthew 18, 15 and following, if thy brother sinned, or as
some of the texts have it, if thy brother sinned against thee,
go tell him his fault between thee and him alone. and always
with a view to gaining your brother. Then again, in Romans 15, 14,
we are persuaded of you, brethren, Paul could say of the Roman Christians,
that they were spiritually mature, and how would that maturity manifest
itself? Verse 14 of Romans 15. I myself
am persuaded of you, my brethren. You yourselves are full of goodness,
filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another. Their spiritual maturity and
stature and grace, he says, would find expression in this ability
to engage in wholesome admonition. Now, dear people, if God blesses
us with instruction that is calculated to make us mature in Christ,
then surely this is one of the concrete expressions that ought
increasingly to be manifested in our life together. And then
those critical texts in Proverbs, I couldn't pass over this point
without reading them in your hearing. Proverbs 27 in verse
5, better is open rebuke than love that is hidden. Better is
open rebuke than love that is hidden. Verse 6. Faithful are
the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are profuse.
Oh, let's not kiss one another with Judas-like kisses of betrayal,
betraying one another. into paths of fixed behavior
contrary to the Word of God. Let's love one another enough
to wound each other with gracious but clear and biblically flavored
reproof. Better is open rebuke than secret
love. Faithful are the wounds of a
friend. But you say, Pastor, I've done
it sometimes and I've been cut off and I've been turned off.
Yeah, I know what that is. I know what it is to see people's
faces and hearts turn away from me because I love them enough
to be faithful to their souls. Any parent will experience it
at one time or another with his own children. Rare is the parent
who brings the child from the womb to maturity without at one
point having the child turn against him in the very pursuit of that
child's well-being. That's where love is put to the
test. where you're willing for personal rejection for the benefit
of the one you love. And Solomon understood this,
so he said in 28 in verse 23, he that rebukes a man shall afterward,
doesn't say immediately, shall afterward find more favor than
he that flatters with the tongue. You see a person who is enmeshed
in sin And in a backslidden state, the last thing in the world that
David wants in that condition is a Nathan to nail him with
his sin. And if he can, he'll suck to
himself and gather around him flatterers who tell him in his
ears what he's trying to tell the ears of his own conscience.
You're all right. You're all right. You're all right. You're
all right. You're all right. You're all right. You're all
right. You're all right. And when all the false prophets of
false friends are chattering that in his ears and someone
comes along and puts a hand on his shoulder and says, now my
brother, my sister, you know in the depths of your heart that
you're wrong. And here's the scripture that
addresses itself to that issue. It may well be that that person
will turn against you like that kid turned against the faithful
prophet and said, why don't you stick to the party line? Everyone
else says, this is the way to go. You're always cutting across
the grave. You remember that? We may have to bear that. But
do you love your brothers and sisters enough to bear it? God
has given us a word that generally speaking, afterwards, afterwards,
you will find more favor. Now I remind you brothers and
sisters that these are duties. Now when you fail to do a duty,
what does God call it? To him that knoweth to do good,
and doeth it not, to him it is what? Sin. Now, here are our
duties. Three cardinal negatives, three
very fundamental positive injunctions to edify one another with words,
exhort, comfort, and encourage one another, and to reprove,
rebuke, and admonish one another. Now, what are we to do in the
face of these things? Well, let me conclude by telling you what
I hope many of us will do. Number one, pray these texts. into your conscience. Pray them
into your conscience. Now do you know what I mean when
I say pray them into your conscience? That means you've got some more
work to do when the amen is sounded tonight. It's not enough that
you've sat and given careful attention to the preaching and
exposition and application of the word. Somewhere before too
much time passes, get alone with God and go over these ten or
twelve passages and pray them into your conscience. Say, Lord,
you said in the New Covenant that you'd write your law upon
the heart. I heard your law Sunday night.
I heard you telling me what I'm not to do with my tongue in my
verbal communication with my brethren. I'm not to speak evil
of them, to tear them down. I am not to do that. I am never
to lie to them. Lord, I am not to indulge in
anything that is abusive, that is corrupting, that is obscene
and unbefitting. Now, Lord, write those words
upon my heart. God, make them a matter of conscience,
so that as I live before your eye, if I am tempted to do those
things, those words will thunder at me. Do you know what it is
to pray the word into your conscience as I am describing? Do you? If
not, you won't grow as a Christian. There'll be a little temporary
disturbance, and then you go right back to the same patterns.
And I can't do that for you. I can try to preach the word,
explain it, illustrate it, apply it, urge you, but my friend,
you must exercise yourself unto godliness. It'd be lovely if
I could have my exercise done by proxy. Push a button, have
somebody else go out and run the 20 miles a week for me, so
I can keep in half decent shape. It would be lovely, but I can't
do it. If I'm going to keep my cardiovascular system in shape,
I've got to put my running shoes on, and I've got to put my running
togs on, and I've got to go out and pound the pavement. You can't
do it by proxy. You can't condition your conscience
by proxy. You must pray the word into your
own conscience. I urge you to do it. immediately
take some practical steps to start obeying these injunctions
in ways you hitherto have never done. David said, I made haste
and I delayed not to keep thy commandments. Psalm 119 verses
59 and 60, I fought on my ways I made haste and delayed not
to turn my feet unto thy commandments. Take immediate practical steps
to obey the injunctions. Face the negatives and say, Are
there certain people with whom I'm more tempted to indulge in
this terrible activity of tearing down my brothers, tearing down
my sisters, indulging in speaking evil of my brothers? Lord, not
next week, not three weeks, first chance I get on the phone to
the doorstep and speak to them in a manly, godly, womanly way
and say, my brother, my sister, the Word of God has gotten to
my conscience. I don't know about your conscience,
but I believe I've been guilty of abusive speech. I believe
I've been guilty of obscene speech, and there's something in the
chemistry of our relationship that leaves me vulnerable. Let's
pray that that'll change, and if it doesn't, we're going to
back off and just be casual friends. Now that's what obedience to
the Word of God means, dear people. That's what sanctification's
all about. I urge you to take immediate
steps in terms of the negatives, cutting off relationships, getting
rid of the excess baggage that leaves you vulnerable, but then
you've got to take some positive steps. Here again, the teaching
of the Word of God is so rich. These same epistles that give
us these injunctions tell us, show hospitality one to another,
Greet one another with a holy kiss. In other words, get close
enough to your brethren that you have to have some communication
with them. And then again, forsake not the assembling of yourselves
together. All of those injunctions you
see are setting a framework within which communication is possible. And if we're not opening our
homes to one another, in an unstructured way. And this is what has struck
me afresh. There's nothing in the Bible that says elders must
arrange for all of the interaction of the people of God and have
it all structured. I can't see that in my Bible.
God says to the saints, show hospitality one to another. Don't
say wait for your elders to punch into a computer the membership
list and come up with a cell group plan for the whole church.
It says you do it! You're full grown sons and daughters
in the new covenant. You're not in the old covenant
where God has to stipulate all the little details, show hospitality
one to another. God commands us to greet one
another, greet one another with a holy kiss. Whatever else it
means, it means greet one another. If you've got to get close enough
to kiss somebody, you can't do that 30 yards away. You've really
got a pair of smackers if you can do it 30 yards away. And I've been fascinated with
that injunction. There's an awful lot bound up,
and you get close enough to kiss a brother or sister, you're close
enough to communicate. I wonder if that is what lies
behind all of that. Greet one another. Make sure
that you keep within communicating distance. And oh, what a tragedy
it would be as the church grows if we lose that sense we're the
family of God, privileged to come together on stated occasions. And oh, how we should treasure
every moment of those occasions and be reluctant to leave one
another's presence. So pray these precepts into your
conscience. Secondly, take practical steps
to implement them immediately. And then thirdly, Look constantly
to Christ for grace to obey and for pardon in the face of your
failures. Look constantly to Christ for
grace to obey. He said, without me, you can
do nothing. Left to yourself, left to myself,
this tongue will be exactly what James says it will be, an unruly
member. It will constantly play the part
of a match in a dry forest. Behold how great a forest fire
is kindled by a little match. And then, dear people of God,
let this final word sink into your hearts. If you expect to
really enter in to realized communion with Christ when you gather with
His people in the special presence of His church, I direct your
attention to Psalm 15. For here in this psalm, the whole
question of what kind of person will enjoy the privilege of realized
communion with God in the place that he is appointed to meet
with his people. Notice how that person is described.
Lord, who shall sojourn in your tabernacles? Who shall dwell
in your holy hill? He that walks uprightly and works
righteousness and speaks truth in his heart, he that slanders
not with his tongue, nor does evil to his friend, nor takes
up a reproach against his neighbor. In whose eyes a reprobate is
despised, but who honors them that fears the Lord, he swears
to his own hurt and changes not. He does not put out his money
to interest, nor take reward against the innocent. He that
does these things shall never be moved. And amidst all of these
many characteristics of the righteous man, the righteousness of that
godly life is not the ground of his approach to God. That
is always the righteousness of Christ imputed to the believer.
But it's the context of moral and ethical conformity to God's
word and law which makes it possible for God to hold realized communion
with such a person. And here he's described as one
who slanders not with his tongue, who does not take up a reproach
against his neighbor. There is a direct relationship
between what you do with your tongue throughout the week and
what you will know of the presence of God when you gather here with
his people. So may the Lord help us in this
whole area of communication with one another that we shall more
and more reflect a submission to the Word of God. Let us pray
together. Our Father, we find ourselves
again and again crying out with Isaiah, Woe is me, for I am undone,
I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people
of unclean lips. But our Father, we also thank
you that many of us are not what we once were. These mouths that
were once full of cursing and bitterness and lies and invective
and filth are mouths that we now delightfully regard as the
purchased property of Jesus Christ. And we would afresh surrender
this member, our tongues to him as those who are alive from the
dead. and pray that by the dynamics
of His own grace, we may in our verbal communications with one
another as a people, reflect a constant sensitivity to these
precepts that have been expounded in our hearing. Lord, write them
upon our hearts, embed them in our consciences, that when we
violate those commands, we shall feel genuine prickings of conscience
and when we fail to obey those injunctions to encourage and
admonish and rebuke and edify one another that we will sense
our sin and cry for forgiveness and look to you for grace and
by the power of the Spirit seek to abound in these good works
unto your glory we pray our Father that you will work in us both
to will and to work for your good pleasure hear us cleanse
us and help us by your grace. We pray through Jesus Christ
our Lord. Amen.

Verbal Communication #4

Key Quotes

What does the Bible say about verbal communication?

How do we know the importance of speaking truthfully?

Why is it important for Christians to avoid negative speech?

How can Christians use their words to encourage others?

What should Christians do if they realize they have spoken negatively?

Sermon Transcript

About Albert N. Martin

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Verbal Communication #4

Key Quotes

What does the Bible say about verbal communication?

How do we know the importance of speaking truthfully?

Why is it important for Christians to avoid negative speech?

How can Christians use their words to encourage others?

What should Christians do if they realize they have spoken negatively?

Sermon Transcript

About Albert N. Martin

Comments

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