Let's begin our service opening
our Bibles to Hebrews chapter 13. Hebrews chapter 13. We'll read the first four verses. Let brotherly love continue.
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers. For thereby some have
entertained angels unawares. Remember them that are in bonds,
as bound with them, and them which suffer adversity, as being
yourselves also in the body. Marriage is honorable in all,
and the bad undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."
We'll end our reading there. All right, let's stand together
as Mike leads us in singing our call to worship. To Christ the Lord let every
tongue its noblest tribute sing. He's the subject of a song Who
can refuse to sing? Who can refuse to sing? So may the beauties of His face
And all His glories dwell In God the wonderful And all His
triumphs tell, And all His triumphs tell. Since from His bounty I've received
Such proofs of love divine, Lord, they would all be thine. Lord, they would all be thine. Thank you. You may be seated. Turn now to
527. 527. Thanks, O God, for boundless
mercy from thy gracious throne above. Thanks for every need
provided from the fullness of thy love. Thanks for daily toil
and labor And for rest when shadows fall, Thanks for love of friend
and neighbor, And thy goodness unto all. Thanks for thorns as well as
roses. Thanks for weakness and for health. Thanks for clouds as well as
sunshine. Thanks for poverty and wealth. Thanks for pain as well as pleasure. All thou sendest day by day. And thy word, our dearest treasure,
Shedding light upon our way. Thanks, O God, for home and fireside,
Where we share our daily bread. Thanks for hours of sweet communion,
When by Thee our souls are fed. Thanks for grace in time of sorrow,
and for joy and peace in thee. Thanks for all today, tomorrow,
and for all eternity. Let's turn back a few pages,
509, 509. The sands of time are sinking,
the dawn of heaven breaks, for the fair sweet morn awakes. Dark, dark hath been the midnight,
the day's spring is at hand, and glory, glory dwelleth in
Emmanuel's land. O Christ, he is the fountain,
the deep sweet well of God. The streams on earth I've tasted,
Nor deep I'll drink above. There to an ocean fulness His
mercy doth expand, And glory, glory dwelleth In Emmanuel's
blood. and my beloved's mine. He brings a poor vile sinner
into his house of wine. I stand upon his merit, I know
no other standard. Not in where glory dwelleth,
In Ephraim's land. The bride I snot her garment,
But her dear bridegroom's face, I will not gaze at, God on my king of praise, not
at the crown he giveth, but on his fearsome hand. The Lamb is of the glory of Emmanuel's
land. Let's open our Bibles to Ephesians
chapter 5. Ephesians 5. Pastors ask we begin reading
in verse 22 through the end of the chapter. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the
head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and
he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the word, that he might present it to himself, a glorious church,
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should
be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but he nourisheth it and cherisheth it, even as
the Lord the Church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, of his bones. For this cause shall man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but
I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let
every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself,
and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Let's go to our
Lord in prayer. Our God and Father in heaven,
Lord, we thank you for this day. We thank you for this thy word.
Lord, we thank you that you've brought us here this morning. Lord, grant us with your presence.
Lord, give us a spirit of worship. Lord, enable us to worship Thee. Lord, You've promised where two
or three are gathered in Your name, You'd be in the midst of
them. Lord, bless us, we pray Thee,
with Your presence. Lord, we pray You'd bless our
pastor. Lord, we thank You for him and we pray that You would
bless him as he stands in this place. Lord, truly, who is sufficient
for these things? Lord, take Thy Word, and Lord,
we pray You'd be pleased to speak through Your servant here this
morning. Lord, give us ears to hear. Lord, unstop these ears. Let us hear Thy Word. Lord, give
us hearts to rejoice in the Lord Jesus Christ. Lord, we thank Thee that Thou
art sovereign in all things. Lord, cause us to submit to Thee. Lord, to rest in Thee, to look
to Thee in all things. Lord, we thank You for our Savior,
the Lord Jesus Christ. Lord, bless us to know Him. Bless
us to rest completely in Him. But we pray for those of our
number who are in a time of trouble and difficulty, but we pray that
you bless your people, comfort your people, strengthen your
people. But we think of Joyce and Carter, but pray your hand
be upon them. But we pray for our brother Don
that you can continue to bless him in preaching, Bless that congregation. Lord,
we pray for our brother Kevin. Lord, as You begin that ministry
out in California, Lord, bless him and his family. Bless that
congregation. Bless that community. Lord, it's such a thing we take
for granted and we pray You'd forgive us, Lord, that You'd
be pleased to raise up a minister, Lord, to raise up a church and
a community. Lord, for so many years, bless
the preaching of your gospel. Lord, forgive us when we fail
to praise Thee and give Thee thanks. Lord, we thank You for
these many young ones You've blessed us with. Lord, we pray
that You'd continue to bless this gospel, and Lord, that You
would, in Your time, Christ to them. Lord, be merciful to our
children, we pray this. Again, we thank you for your
many blessings. We thank you for, Lord, the many material
blessings we enjoy, but above all things, Lord, cause us to
be thankful for our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. And again,
bless us in this hour. Set aside the thoughts and cares
of this world. Those things are so easily beset. I said, let us see Christ. Of
course, in His name we pray and give thee thanks. Amen. The church's one foundation is
Jesus Christ, our Lord. She is His new creation by water
and the Word. From heaven He came With His own blood He bought
her, And for her life He died. elect from every nation, yet
one are of the earth, her charter of salvation, one Lord, one faith,
one birth. One holy name she blesses, Partakes
one holy food, And to one hope she presses, With every grace
endued. Mid toil and tribulation, and
tumult of her war, she waits the consummation of peace forevermore. Till with a vision glorious,
Her longing eyes are blest, And the great church victorious Shall
be the church at rest. Yet she on earth hath union With
God the three-in-one, And mystic sweet communion With those whose
rest is won. O happy one, Lord, give us grace that we,
like them, the meek and lowly, on high may dwell with thee. All right. The Bible is again
with me, if you would, to Hebrews chapter 13. I've titled the message this morning,
An Honorable Marriage. Our text is verse 4 of Hebrews
chapter 13. Marriage is honorable in all,
and the bad undefiled. But whoremongers and adulterers
God will judge. My goal this morning is the same
goal as every single time I preach by God's grace. This is my goal.
Every time I preach, I want to preach Christ as my heart's desire
is to preach Christ. So Christ would be glorified
and that we would believe on him as we should find our rest
and hope and peace in him. If the only thing I'm able to
accomplish this morning is to give you some marital advice,
I'm a failure. My goal is to preach Christ so
that you believe him, trust your soul to him. But in doing that,
I do also want to give us some instruction so that we will have
better marriages. Those of us who are married could
have better marriages. Those of you who are single and
will one day be married will understand how to have a better
marriage. This congregation has been instructed from this pulpit
many, many times how that marriage is a type and picture of Christ
our Savior. Marriage between a husband and
a wife is a picture of the union that is between Christ and his
bride. And if the Lord will show us Christ, enable us to believe
on him, that's the only way we'll have salvation for our souls.
But if the Lord shows us Christ, We will see how to be better
husbands, how to be better wives, and how to have an honorable
marriage. I know marriage is not thought
of as highly as it ought to be in our day. I remember being
a little fella in second, third, fourth grade, and I knew one
kid, one, whose parents were divorced, one. I mean, you kids,
can you imagine only knowing one child Parents are divorced.
Everybody else's parents were married. That's not the case
today, is it? And I know many marriages are
not happy marriages. And I know many people, believers
included, who are just enduring that marriage until the end because,
for whatever reason, they don't want to get a divorce. They don't
want to get a divorce. They could think it brings reproach
upon the gospel. It could bring reproach on the
picture of marriage. a picture of salvation in Christ.
For whatever reason, they do not want to get a divorce. They
just think it's wrong. And that's commendable. That's commendable.
But I want better than that for you and for me. I want us to
have happy marriages, honorable, happy marriage that reflects
the glory of Christ our Savior. I want us this morning to look
at what scripture has to say about marriage. And I want to
preach Christ the Savior from the picture of marriage. And
I hope that that will also give us the believer's motivation
to be a better husband, to be a better wife, and to have some
understanding how to have a happy marriage. Now first, if you would,
look back at Ephesians chapter 5, the passage Brother Eric read
for us a few moments ago. I want to begin with this passage
because I don't believe there's another passage of Scripture
that tells us more about our responsibilities in marriage
and how to have a happy marriage by showing that marriage is a
picture of salvation in Christ, union with Christ. Ephesians
chapter 5 verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the
head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and
he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Now I understand some of the
difficulty in not being a woman, not being a wife. I do understand
some of the difficulty for wives submitting to your husbands.
I understand in having to submit to bosses and these kinds of
things. I understand it can be hard to
submit to a man who's being a jerk. I understand. You have my sympathies. And we'll get into this in just
a moment, but some advice to you on this matter. that being
in submission to a husband should, it doesn't always be the case
unfortunately, but it sure should, be easier by marrying a man who
knows and loves Christ. That ought to make it easier
for you in this matter of submission. It ought to be easier for you
in the matter of submission to marry a man who will worship
together with you. Young ladies, you date a man
and he will not come to the service with you, I understand it can break your
heart. I understand. Oh, I hate that for you, but
break it off. I'm telling you right now, break it off. Nothing
softens the heart and nothing teaches the heart of a believer
like worship. Nothing. There's nothing that
reveals Christ the Savior. There's nothing that will enable
us to worship the Lord like public worship. And for the believer,
there's nothing that will soften our heart, make us easier to
get along with. than hearing the gospel of Christ
preached. But even a believing husband can make this matter
of submission for his wife hard by just being a jerk sometimes.
So I understand the difficulty that you face. And wise if you
want to understand how to be a good wife, if you want to see
how to properly submit to your husband, look to Christ. Look to Christ. The Lord Jesus
Christ is the Son of God. He is God. He's equal with God
in every way. He's not inferior to the Father
at all, is He? Not at all. Yet He submitted
to His Father's will. He submitted to His Father for
the good of the church. Look over a few pages. Hold your
place there, Ephesians 5. Look at Philippians chapter 2. You
know, women are not inferior to men. I wish we could all get
that idea. out of our head, women are not
to submit to men, they submit to their own husbands, their
own husbands now. Women are not inferior to men
in any way. Maybe physically, but that's
probably about it. Philippians 2 verse 5, let this
mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in
the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God.
It was not robbery for him to call himself equal with God,
because he is God, he is equal with God, because he is. made
himself of no reputation and took upon him the form of a servant
and was made in the likeness of men. And being found in fashion
as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death,
even the death of the cross. So the Lord Jesus is equal with
the father, yet he submitted to his father's will so that
he could save his people from their sin. Christ the son submitted
himself to his father's will and his father's will was to
redeem his elect people through the obedience of his son and
through the sacrifice of his son. And his son submitted to
be made flesh, to humiliate himself, to be made flesh, to accomplish
the father's will. Now, the father and the son are
equal, but they have different roles in salvation, don't they?
The father chose a people to save. The son came to redeem
those people. He submitted himself to become
flesh to accomplish that salvation. Worked out pretty well, didn't
it? Wouldn't you say? Now, wives, submit yourself to
your own husbands as unto the Lord. Not because you're less
than your husband, not because you're less intelligent or less
important to your husband, than your husband, not at all. Submit
yourself to your own husbands because that's God's will for
the family. Submit yourself to your husband,
to his rule for the good of your family. Not because you're inferior,
but because you have different roles in the family. And a wife
submitting to the authority of her husband does not mean that
she is weak or a doormat at all. You know, Jan and I have two
daughters. You all know that. And from the moment that they
were born, it was very important to us to raise them to be strong. I mean strong. Because it takes,
we knew what was going to happen someday. They're going to have
to submit to a husband, and that takes strength. It takes strength
to submit to a husband, just like it took strength and power
for the son to submit himself to the father. And you think,
well, all right, Frank, you got scripture for that? I do. Our
sister Sarah. Sarah was a strong woman. Now,
I mean, she was a strong, opinionated woman who spoke her mind. But
Sarah submitted herself to her husband. Oh, Sarah told Abraham
one day, I know God's promised us to have a son. She said, Abraham,
tell you what let's do. Let's help God out in this matter.
You go into Hagar. She's young and she's in the
prime of her life and she can bear a son and that son will
be mine. And Abraham said, well, all right,
that's what I'll do. Sure enough, Hagar bear a son. Abraham named
him Ishmael and Sarah hated Ishmael. She hated Hagar. And she came
to Abraham one day. She's told Abraham, you cast
out that bond woman, her son. The son of that bond woman is
not going to be here with my son. You cast her out. Abraham loved
that boy. I mean, he loved Ishmael. And
he said, now, wait a minute, Sarah, you're the very one told
me go into her and have a son. You're the one that said all
this. She said, yeah, you're right, but you shouldn't listen to me. And
that's what she said. I mean, she just, yeah. Sarah
was a strong, opinionated woman, not afraid to speak her mind.
Should she have spoke her mind? Should she have come to Abraham
and said, cast out that bond woman or son? God said she should
have. God said she should have. Sarah
was a strong, opinionated woman, yet she submitted to Abraham's
authority and called him Lord. My dad used to enjoy teasing
Janet. We were at Sunday dinner one
time and he, you could tell he's winding up for a good one, buddy.
And he said, He said, Janet, he said, the lesson, Bible lesson
this morning, the lesson was said how Abraham called, or Sarah
called Abraham Lord. Don't you think all women ought
to call Abraham Lord? And he just, you know, just how
you wind up at the top and watch it go. That's what he thought
was going to happen. And Janet said, well, till you would. She
said, if more men would be men, if more men would be men like
Abraham, more women would call their husband Lord. And dad said,
got me there. You got me there. See, submission
does not mean that you're not to have an opinion or not to
have input on how your family is running. Not at all. Sarah
did, and God said she was right. I'll give you another example.
Abigail. Someday I'd like to meet Abigail.
Abigail was a strong, wise, and good wife who knew when to act,
even if Nabal did not deserve her and didn't appreciate her.
She's a wise and good wife. So that's submitting to your
husband, as unto the Lord. It takes strength, doesn't it?
And the way you learn it is to look to Christ. All right, now
in Ephesians 5, husbands. Ephesians 5, verse 25. Husbands,
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with
the washing of water by the word. that he might present it to himself
a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men
to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his
wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord,
the church. For we are members of his body
and of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
they too shall be one flesh." Husbands, if you want to be a
better husband, I'll tell you what to do. You look to Christ. You look to Christ. There is
a lot of responsibility that is in this matter of being a
husband. If you want to be a better husband,
you look to Christ. The key to a happy marriage lies
mostly upon the shoulders of the husband. Did you hear what
I said? It doesn't lie on the shoulders
of the woman. It lies upon the shoulders of the husband. Husbands,
you are to set the tone in a marriage to make it a happy one. Just
like Christ sets the tone in the union between him and his
bride. Now, who sets the tone there?
He loved us first, didn't he? He came and redeemed us. He's
the one who supplies everything we need. Who sets the tone? who
said it from the beginning, and who keeps it said? He does, right?
Same thing applies to husbands. And the commandment to husbands
is love your wife. Now remember, we looked at brotherly
love last week. It's still in that same vein.
We're talking about brotherly love, to love the brethren. Well,
my soul, if you're going to love the brethren, it ought to especially
be true of your wife, shouldn't it? Especially it ought to be
true of your wife. Especially in a marriage between
two believers, And I'll show you more of this in a minute.
Love of the brethren. Get your wife first now. The
commandment to husbands is love your wives. Now I've heard so
many husbands, it just irritates me like nails on a chalkboard.
They say in this real religious tone, wives submit, submit, submit. That's what the Bible says, submit.
Wives say to husbands in the very same tone, love, love. That's the commandment now. Love
your wives. Husbands, don't you be worrying
about how your wife is submitting to you. That commandment's not
to you. It's to her. That's her commandment. Brethren,
we got enough to deal with in this matter of loving your wife
as Christ loved the church. Impossible in the flesh. We've
been given an impossible commandment. Love your wives as Christ loved
the church. Give it your best shot. It's impossible, but you
give it your best. You give it your best. The gospel
of God deserves that, and your wife does too. And if you've
got to remind your wife constantly that she is supposed to submit
to you, more than likely, something's wrong with your leadership. Now,
I know I've met a few. There are very, very few women,
if the husband leads right, she's not going to follow right. More
than likely. But more than likely, if you've
got to remind your wife constantly she's to submit to you, you better
look in the mirror because it probably got to do with leadership.
People generally follow good leadership. So husbands, love
your wives as Christ loved the church. Oh, how did Christ love
the church? Well, there's an inexhaustible
subject for you. The love of Christ for his church.
First, Christ loved his church with a special. distinguishing
love for his Aladdin. He loved her, those people that
the father gave him. He didn't come to this earth
loving every son of Adam. He loved his bride and he came
to redeem her, to gather her to himself, her and only her.
Husbands, you see to it that there are no rivals in your love
for your wife. You just see to it. I mean, how
do you think it would work if I told Janet, honey, I love Just
like I love a lot of other women. Let me tell you what, I mean
none of y'all seem to be looking alright. That wouldn't work too
well. Just like it wouldn't for any of your wives. It just wouldn't
work too well. Aren't you thankful the Savior doesn't say that?
Well, I love everybody the same. No. He said, I love my bride. How do we know? He came to redeem
her in His love. Not that we love God, but He
loved her. He loved her. He gave Himself to be the propitiation
for our sins. That brings me to the second
thing. How did Christ love the church? With a self-sacrificing
love. Christ loved the church and he
gave himself for it. He gave everything that he is,
body and soul, to redeem his bride. He sacrificed himself.
He suffered and died. He suffered and died physically,
how he suffered. He suffered spiritually. How
he suffered under the hand of the wrath of his father. And he died and he did it willingly. Nobody made him go. He did it
willingly so that he could redeem his bride from her sin so that
he could have her to himself. So that he could make her happy
so he could give her joy and draw her to him. All what love. Husbands. Give up whatever you've
got to give up to give your wife what she needs. I mean, whatever
it takes, whatever you've got to give up, you give it up. That
her needs be satisfied. You meet her needs before you
meet your needs. Men, sinful men, have twisted
this around. You know, the woman's got to
give up everything to make me happy. That's just being selfish. No,
that's not the way it is. Love your wives as Christ loved
the church, sacrificially, self-sacrificially. to give her what she needs. You meet her needs first. The
love of Christ for his bride means something. Christ died
for his people. The apostle says he sanctified
them. He made them sinless, spotless, made them beautiful. Well, the
only way sinners like you and me could ever be made sinless,
the only way we could ever be made beautiful is that Christ
took our sins away from us. He had to take away that which
is ugly and take it into His own body on the tree and suffer
and die to put that sin away. And then, He's got to give us
His righteousness. He's got to clothe us in His
beauty. Just like that child Ezekiel found out in the field,
polluted in its own blood. In the end, that child was beautiful.
The Lord said, with the beauty, my beauty, which I put on you.
That's the only way we can be made beautiful. It's in Christ
and he did what it takes to make that happen. The sacrifice of
Christ is the miracle of miracles. It's the love that you just can't
tell. It's a self-sacrificial love. Husbands, love your wives that
very same way. Put her publicly and privately
in the best possible light, she's going to have faults. You know,
when you were dating her and, you know, you kissed her goodnight
and you went on home and, you know, maybe you didn't see all
of her faults. And after you get married, you kind of find
out, you know, some more of her faults. When that happens, you
keep them to yourself. You just keep them to yourself.
You don't have to tell everything you know. Just keep them to yourself.
Especially don't you do it publicly. Just don't do it. How did Christ
love his bride? He loved her so well, he removed
her sin. He removed her sin. Well, I think
the best we can do, I mean the least we can do is cover our
wife's faults. In light of what Christ did for
us, don't you reckon the least we could do is cover her faults?
And don't use demeaning nicknames for your wife. Oh, I hate that.
Don't use demeaning nicknames for your wife. Our savior, our
bridegroom, he has pet names for his bride. He calls her my
beloved, my dove, my joy. When I married Janet, I found
out quickly that she liked to be talked to a certain way. And
the more time I spent with her father, the more I learned why
that's so. Because he always called Ethel
honey, baby, sugar, sweetie pie. And that's just, oh, I say, Janet,
she says, don't take my name in vain. That's just, that's
just me, me. Honey, baby, sugar, sweetie pie.
Speak to her lovingly, kindly. Don't, don't, don't demean her,
effort, publicly or privately. And Christ loving his people
was really loving his own body. He's the head, we're the body.
Husbands, If you can't understand love your bride, love your wife
like Christ loved the church, try this one on. Love your wife
like you love your own body. Oh, how much time do you men
spend on your body? Shaving and combing your hair
and getting the right clothes and the right cologne. Ridiculous,
isn't it? It's shameful. Spend some time
on your wife like she's your own flesh. like it matters to
you. Husbands, focus your attention
on loving your wife. And don't demand respect from
her. Don't demand obedience from her.
Don't demand her trust. You earn it. You earn it. Earn
it by your love for her. And if you show her that you'll
sacrifice your wants and needs for her good and for the good
of your family, she'll trust you. She'll respect you and she'll
follow you to the ends of the earth. But you're going to earn
that, that trust and that love from her by showing her a self-sacrificing
love. Focus on loving her and make
it easy for your wife to be in subjection to you. Now to the
believing husband, I ask you. Is it difficult for you to submit
to Christ the Savior? Is it? Is it difficult for you
to submit to His righteousness? Is it? It's not, is it? Why is it not? It's because of
who He is. It's because of His love for
me. It's His perfection. Well, make it easy for your wife
to be in submission to you by loving her into it. Just love
her so well she willingly submits to you. Not because she asked
to, but because she wants to. In response to your love and
in response to the respect that you have earned from her. Love
her into submission. You're wise when your husband
is a grouch, love him out of it. Just love him out of it.
Love covers a multitude of sins, doesn't it? So love is the key
to a happy marriage. You see that you show it. Now
verse 31, for this cause shall man leave his father and mother
and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one
flesh. Now, this does not mean that
once we're married we do not have a relationship with our
parents anymore. That's just ludicrous. That's
dumb. This means that the marriage relationship is the most important
relationship in your life. That doesn't mean your other
relationships are unimportant. That doesn't mean your relationship
with your parents is unimportant. God's law commands better than
that. That does not mean that at all. There are several examples
in scripture of a mother-in-law living with a married daughter,
helping take care of the children. It's just, you know, it's a natural
order of things. Older women are to help and to
teach the younger women, the younger wives. Well, if you're
going to do that, you're going to have a close relationship,
an important relationship, aren't you? But the marriage relationship,
now that's the close one. That's the most important one.
But I think this is very interesting. I've never really noticed this
or even thought about it really before, but I saw that this week
as I was studying this. It's very interesting to me that
this is said to men. It's said to men, leave your
father and your mother. This is a quote from Adam. Adam
said, he saw Eve and he said, ooh, this is what a man ought
to do. He ought to leave his father and mother and cleave
to his wife. This is said to men. I know it applies to both
husband and wife, but it's said particularly to men. And I think
for this reason, husbands, don't be a mama's boy. Don't be a mama's
boy. There's nothing going to ruin
a marriage faster than that. I was talking with a couple one
time about to be married. And he said, no, my mother's
always going to be the most important woman in my life. I looked at
her and said, no, I wouldn't marry. If that don't change, I wouldn't
marry him. This is me. Don't be a mama's boy. You've got to be the husband
now. You've got to be the leader. You've got to put her first. I'm sure that's what that means.
I'm just sure of it. Husbands, don't be demanding
that your wife puts you first. That's her responsibility for
herself. You put her first. You take care
of your own business. You put her first. Love her. More than likely, she'll follow
you. I mean, it's the rare, rare woman
that won't. More than likely, you put her first. You love her
first. More than likely, she'll follow
you. Now, verse 32, Paul says, this is a great mystery. And
I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let
every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself
and the wife see that she reference her husband. See, the primary
meaning of these verses, you see that, don't you? It's the
gospel. The primary meaning of these
verses is salvation in Christ, through his eternal love for
his bride. But second, if by God's grace,
he gives us a sight of Christ by faith, we're also going to
learn our roles in marriage, won't we? By looking to Christ.
All right, now look at Genesis chapter 2, just a couple more
scriptures. I want to show you some things. I just went through
the nave's topical Bible and the concordes and looked at places
it talks about marriage to see if we can learn something about
the gospel, the union between Christ and his bride, and something
about how to have an honorable, happy marriage. Genesis chapter
2, verse 18. And the Lord God said, it's not
good that the man should be alone. I will make and help me for him.
Now, husbands, we cannot honestly deny that we need help in this
life. We can't deny it because God
said it's not good that we dwell alone. And you want proof of
that, just go look in a bachelor's apartment. If you dare look in
a bachelor's refrigerator, we need help. This week, Jan's back
was down and I had to go to the grocery store. Oh my goodness. I mean, that was, I just seemed
like this is impossible. How does she do this every week?
I need help. I had to call her. How do I,
where do I find this stuff? What do I do? We need to, I mean,
we need help with the most simple things. And God made the wife
to be a help meat to her husband. She is a help sufficient for
our needs. We need men and women both. We have a need. a need to be
loved. We have a need for comfort. We
have a need for friendship. We have a need for companionship. We have a need for a woman's
perspective on things. And God made the woman to be
just exactly what we need, the husband needs, a help need, a
need to help sufficient for him. And if you want some understanding
on this matter of a help need, look to Christ. Scripture describes
Christ as the helper to his people. Now that doesn't mean he helps
by only doing the part that we can't do. No, this helper means
he does everything for his people because we can't do anything.
He's got to do it all for us. Christ made himself everything
his people need. He's made it as wisdom, righteousness,
sanctification and redemption. If you would be a good spouse
and look to Christ and make yourself what your spouse needs from you.
Your marriage is not a 50-50 proposition like I do my part.
No, it's a 100-100 proposition. Both give 100. Make yourself
what your spouse needs from you. In verse 21, Genesis 2, the Lord
God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept. And he
took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof.
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from the man, He made
he a woman and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, this
is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called
woman because she was taken out of the man. Now this is such
a clear picture of the gospel, a clear picture of salvation
in Christ. Christ, just like Adam was put
into a deep sleep, Christ was put into a sleep. He died for
the sin of his people. And it's through his death Through
his resurrection, God's elect have life. The resurrection of
Christ from the dead is the evidence his sacrifice justified his people,
took away all their sin. Now they must have life. Now
they must have life. If Christ died for them, they
must have life. They have no sin. If they have
no sin, the reason that causes sin is taken away. So there can
be no death. They must have eternal life. And the believer lives, how? In Christ, our head. We live
because we're joined to Christ. We're one flesh with him. He
is the head and we are the body. Well, that's the picture here.
Eve was taken from Adam's rib while he slept. Eve was literally
bone of Adam's bone and flesh of Adam's flesh, wasn't she?
And husbands are to consider our wives to be our flesh, our
own flesh, so that we're one flesh. Eve was taken from Adam's
side, just like Christ was wounded in his side. When that Roman
soldier pierced his side with that spear, what happened? Out
flowed blood and water, the double cure, blood to justify, water
to sanctify. And that's our salvation. Well,
the wife is taken from the husband's side, not his head to rule over
him and not his foot to be trodden down by him, but his side. where she is to be cherished,
nourished, and protected. Solomon said in Proverbs 18 verse
22, Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and has obtained
favor of the Lord. Husbands, let's treat our wives
that way, like she's a favor from the Lord. Don't misuse your
authority, but use your authority to make your wife secure in your
love and your protection of her. All right, now look in the Gospel
of Mark. Mark chapter 10, verse 2. And the Pharisees came to him
and asked him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife, tempting
him? They didn't ask this for information,
they're tempting him. And he answered and said unto
them, what did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered
to write a bill of divorcement and to put her away. And Jesus
answered and said unto them, for the hardness of your heart,
he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the
creation, God made them male and female. For this cause shall
a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they
twain shall be one flesh. So then they are no more twain
but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined
together, let no man put asunder. Now in the law, God did not provide
a bill of divorcement because divorce is right. God provided
a bill of divorcement because of the hard, sinful heart of
man. He knew what was going to happen.
So divorce is wrong, but God did provide for that because
of the hardness of a man's heart. But now divorce destroys. It destroys families. It destroys
the lives of children. The devastating effects of it
can last for years. I've heard people who are divorced,
many of them tell me it was worse than a death. It was worse than
if my spouse had died. So if you love your family at
all, do everything you can do to avoid a divorce and seek to
have a happy marriage. But now here is why divorce is
wrong. It's because it violates the picture of Christ and His
bride. What God has joined together
in Christ, no man shall ever put asunder. Aren't you thankful
for that? Nobody will ever take you away from Christ. They can't
entice you away from Him, and they'll never turn His head and
make Him turn from you either. What God has joined together,
no man can put asunder. Christ, our bridegroom, will
never be separated from His bride. He'll never stop loving her,
even though she's still full of sin. It's the love of Christ
that makes His people willing in the day of His power. It's
the love of Christ for His people that makes us want to stay with
Him, that makes us want to keep depending upon Him and trusting
Him. So the believer's desire says, this is my salvation. The
believer's desire is to avoid, if at all possible, doing anything
that violates that picture of the Savior's love. Just do whatever
it takes to make your spouse happy. And if you've got a spouse
doing whatever it takes to make you happy, you listen to me.
Don't you dare take advantage of it. Don't take advantage of
it. We're saved by grace. I don't care how much sin you
have is put away. Don't take advantage of that now. Shall
we sin that grace may abound? Paul said, God forbid. So you
don't take advantage of it and do whatever you can do to make
your spouse happy. All right. Romans chapter seven. Romans 7, verse 1. Know ye not, brethren, for I
speak to them that know the law, how that the law hath dominion
over a man as long as he liveth? For the woman which hath a husband
is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth. But if
the husband be dead, she's loosed from the law of her husband.
So then, if all her husband liveth, she be married to another man,
she should be called an adulteress. But if her husband be dead, she's
free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she
be married to another man. Wherefore, my brethren, ye also
become dead to the law by the body of Christ, that you should
be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead,
that we should bring forth fruit unto God. Now, the picture here
is of a stern, austere husband. He makes his wife miserable,
because he just demands so much from her. It seems like he demands
the impossible. He's got so many rules and regulations, and oh,
he makes her life miserable. If she breaks just one of his
little rules, oh, he makes her life miserable. And she can't
scripturally divorce him, even though, you know, he makes her
life miserable. Well, you know what that's a picture of? And
Paul explained it now in verse 4. What's that a picture of?
It's a picture of the covenant of the law. who have a bunch
of rules for their wives. You know, they think, oh, I'm
large and in charge. I have all these rules for my wife. Brother,
you're not representing grace now. What are you representing?
The law. Is that the kind of husband you
really want to be? And husbands, we need to remember this. You're
not Christ. You're not Christ. You don't
have that kind of authority. All we are is a mighty poor picture
of the bridegroom. We need to remember that before
we get too big for our britches. God has set His people free from
the law by crucifying His Son in our place. Christ died. He came in the flesh to obey
God's law for His people, and He died to satisfy the law's
justice. And now His people are free from
the law. Free from the law, happy condition. Now we're free to be married
to Christ. And oh, what a change. Christ
is the gracious, loving Husband. He loves his wife. He covers
her sin. And she loves being married to
Christ. Everything about this marriage
is a joy. And just like she had to serve that husband to the
law, now she serves her new husband. But everything is different.
Because the motivation, the heart of it is different. Now she serves
him in love and thanksgiving. Not because she has to. The husbands
take that to heart. I want to be a loving, gracious
husband. Don't you? Not a husband like
the law. All right, now look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Our text in Hebrews 13 says that
the marriage bed is honorable, but whoremongers and adulterers
God will judge. Now, this is not talking about
physical. This is talking about spiritual
whoremongers. They sell themselves under the
law. They sell themselves into works religion, trying to earn
their way into God's favor. And it's talking about spiritual
adulterers who have left Christ alone. for something else, they're
seeking pleasure in something besides Christ. It could be Christ
plus something else, but it's something other than Christ alone
that makes them a spiritual adulterer. Well, what will protect us from
becoming spiritual whoremongers and spiritual adulterers? Being
joined to Christ and constantly hearing the gospel of Christ,
being in his presence through the preaching of the gospel.
1 Corinthians 7, verse 2. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have, that is cleave, hold tight to his own wife, and
let every woman have her own husband. Now, the marriage union
is the protection that we have from sexual sins outside of marriage.
Having satisfaction in the marriage protects us from seeking sexual
sins outside of the marriage. See, in every way, in all things,
marriage is honorable. It's honorable because it's a
picture of Christ. In verse 4 says, defraud ye not
one another except it be with consent for a time that you give
yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again that
Satan tempt you not. Now, what does this mean about
defraud? I skipped it first. Verse three,
verse three. Let the husband render under his wife due benevolence
and likewise also the wife and the husband do benevolence. Then
he said, do not defraud one another. What's that talking about? Render
due benevolence to your spouse. It's giving them the love and
the compassion and the friendship that's due them. It's due them. It's right that they expect those
things. Your spouse is due love from
you. Now, see, that's a debt that
you pay. See, this is a debt you pay on time. And if you withhold
it from them, you're defrauding them. You're cheating them. Aren't
you thankful? Christ, our bridegroom, will
never defraud his bride and never withdraw his love and companionship. Oh, what a bridegroom, what a
savior we have. All right, one more scripture. First Peter,
chapter three. I've gone too long, but this is so important.
First Peter, chapter three. 1 Peter 3 verse 7. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell
with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as
unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of
life, that your prayers be not hindered. Now Peter tells us,
husbands, dwell with your wife in knowledge. Use wisdom. Use good sense in this thing.
How to live with your wife. Use knowledge and wisdom. She
is your loving companion. She's your helpmate. She's not
your slave. She doesn't have to be put under
your feet. She's not to be ordered around by the rod of the law.
She's to be loved as your own flesh. And treat her as the weaker
vessel. You know, women typically are
weaker physically and emotionally. And so what if she has other
faults and weaknesses? You're going to find out she
does. But so what if she does? You know what real strength is?
Real strength is bearing those faults. It's bearing them on
your broad shoulders. Just take them on, bear them,
and hold her up. And men, if you're married to
a believer, you remember this. You remember this. Your wife's
a daughter of God. She's God's daughter. Any of
you got daughters? Pretty precious to you, isn't
she? Well, how do you think your relationship with God would be
affected if you treat the king's daughter badly. Peter tells us
in case you wonder, your prayers will be hindered. You know, I
promise you this. You are not more important to
God than her. You're more important to you
than you, but not to God. All of God's elect are equally
precious to Christ, our bridegroom. And I'm thankful. I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for his love. His love for His people. I'm
thankful for salvation in Him. I'm thankful for hearing again
how Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. How He washed
it and sanctified it, made it perfect and spotless. He is my
only hope of salvation. And when I look at Him, He's
also my only rule of life. And looking at Him should teach
us how to be better husbands and better wives, shouldn't it?
And how to have a happy marriage. I hope the Lord will bless that
to you. Let's bow together. Our Father, we thank You for
Your Word. Oh, how we thank You for the
Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, our perfect Bridegroom. Father,
how we thank You for His love. How we thank You for His sacrifice. He was compelled to go to the
cross to redeem His people because of His eternal love for them. How we thank You for His love
that will never let His people go, that will never allow Him
to leave or forsake His people. Father, how we thank You. How
we beg of You, Father, that You give us faith to believe Him,
faith to cling to Him, that You shed abroad Your love in our
hearts, that we might love Him and love one another. Father,
teach us by looking to Christ how to be better husbands, better
wives, how to have happy marriages, to reflect this glorious union
between Christ and his bride. It is a great mystery, but Father,
reveal it to our hearts by faith, we pray. It's for the glory of
our Lord Jesus Christ, in his name and for his sake, we pray
and give thanks. Amen. All right, Mike, you come
lead us in a song, if you would. Let's stand and sing 525. 525. O give us alms, built firm upon
the Saviour, where Christ is head, and counsellor, and guide. Where every child is taught his
love and favor, And gives his heart to Christ the crucified. How sweet to know that though
His footsteps waver, His faithful Lord is walking by His side. O give us alms with godly fathers'
mothers, who always placed their hope and trust in Him, whose
tender, patient turmoil never bothered Whose calm and courage
trouble cannot dim, A home where each finds joy in serving others,
and love still shines, though days be dark and grim. O give us homes where Christ
is Lord and Master, The Bible read, the precious in still sun,
Where prayer comes first, in peace or in disaster, And praise
His natural speech to every tongue. where mountains move before a
faith that's faster and Christ sufficient is for old and young. O Lord our God, our homes are
Thine forever. We trust to Thee their problems,
toil and care. Their bonds of love no enemy
can sever, if thou art always Lord and Master there. Be Thou the center of our least
endeavor. Thou our gift, our hearts and
homes to share.