If you will, for our scripture
reading, come with me to Ephesians chapter 5. If you will, you can put a marker
there. I'll return to this for my text. Be ye therefore followers of
God as dear children. and walk in love as Christ also
hath loved us and hath given himself for us an offering and
a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling Savior. But fornication and all uncleanness
or covetousness, let it not be once named among you as becometh
saints, neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting,
which are not convenient, but rather giving of things. For
this you know, that no whoremonger, or unclean person, or covetous
man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom
of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain
words, for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon
the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers
with them. For you were sometimes darkness. What's he saying? He's saying
you were just like them. But now are you light in the
Lord. as children of light. For the
fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and
truth, proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship
with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove
them. For it is a shame even to speak
of those things which are done of them in secret. But all things
that are approved are made manifest by the light. For whatsoever
doth make manifest is light. Wherefore he saith, Awake thou
that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give
thee light. See then that ye walk circumspectly,
and not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the
days are evil. Wherefore, be ye not unwise,
but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk
with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit,
speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Giving
thanks always for all things unto God in the Father and in
the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. submitting yourselves one to
another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the
head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and
he is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water
by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church,
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should
be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord
the Church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. For this call shall man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but
I speak concerning Christ and the Church. Nevertheless, let
every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself,
and the wife see that she reverence her husband. May the Lord add
his blessing to the reading of his word. If you will, turn back with me
to Ephesians chapter 5. I was sitting at my desk. I don't remember what day, probably
around Tuesday or so. and just sort of blank. I just didn't know where I was
going to go. I have a message that I prepared
quite a while back out of the Psalms. And by the grace of God,
I hope I get time to preach that message. But I didn't have a
vision and I didn't hear a voice. But the words came to my mind
A perfect marriage. And I, no doubt, was thinking
about myself and how imperfect I am and how all the faults and
frailties that we have in our daily life, they just come out,
don't they? Especially when we get all stressed
out. Pow, it just comes out. And then
you sit there and think about it. And maybe that's the reason. But as I began to study this
message over here in Ephesians chapter 5, I thought, God's given
me this message. Why? Why? Well, I have several
friends who've had troubled marriages, and we have a church full of
young people. They're not married yet. They
need to know something about marriage. And we can't look around
in this world and find out anything. You'll find out something different
everywhere you look. There's only one perfect marriage
and that was Christ. A perfect marriage. Now Ephesians
5 is an exhortation to walk as becometh saints. We adorn ourselves
with our walk. He tells us to be followers of
God as dear children, not just as children, but dear children,
dear to Him. Children that He sacrificed greatly
for. Dear children. And walk in love
as Christ also hath loved us and hath given Himself for us,
an offering and sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling Savior.
Walk in that kind of love. Not the love this world talks
about. It's just a fickle, phony passion. That's all it is. But
walk in this kind of love. Love that gives oneself. That kind of love. And it's a
fatal mistake to think that God saves us by His grace, by the
substitutionary sacrifice of Christ and His representative
righteousness. but is indifferent concerning
our behavior and conduct. That's just not so. Paul said
in Romans 3.8 that he was slanderously reported with others affirming
it. That he taught men and women
to do evil that good may come. To sin that grace may abound. And of whom the apostle says,
whose damnation is just. Men who accuse God's ministers
of preaching that have a just damnation coming. A saved man
won't talk that way. He won't talk that way. He goes
on to tell us in verse 6 here of Ephesians chapter 5, Let no
man deceive you with vain words. There's plenty of them out there.
And there's plenty of vain words and teaching out there. But for the grace of God, we'd
all be deceived. If it were possible, the Lord
said, in the days that we're living in now, the very lick
would be deceived. Let no man deceive you with vain
words, for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon
the children of disobedience. Be ye not therefore partakers
with them. Verse 8. For you were sometimes
darkness, but now are your light in the Lord. Look at verse 12. For it is a
shame even to speak of those things which are done of them
in secret. Believers are not left in the
darkness and ignorance of this ungodly world, but He has given
us the ability to be partakers of the inheritance of saints
and light, that is enlightened saints. I hope we've got visitors
here today. I hope you all enter into this
and I have every confidence that you will and be blessed by it.
We share these things together, don't we? Be partakers, that's
what he's talking about, partakers with saints and light. Able to
see what they see, hear what they hear, rejoice with them.
I can't imagine crawling off somewhere by myself and living
where there's no gospel church. Huh? When you can gather with
God's people and rejoice. That's what he's saying here.
We're partakers. Partakers. We sit at the same
table, don't we? Eat the same food. Partakers. That's what he's talking about.
Assembling together and hearing these things and rejoicing together. Blessed, he said, are your eyes,
for they say. Therefore, Ephesians 5.15, see
that ye walk circumspectly, and not as fools, but as wise, redeeming
the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore, be ye not unwise,
but understanding what the will of the Lord is. Well, what is
God's will? What is God's will in this matter
of our daily walk in this world? as children. God has a will concerning
our children, and he reveals it to us as young adults, as husbands and wives, as believers. Well, all right, so what is God's
will in my daily life? What will he have me to do? Verse 18. Here's verse 9. Be filled with the Spirit. Huh? Keep talking about this
warm feeling that comes over you. No. No. That's not it. The Spirit of
God is the revealer, the applier, the enabler, the preserver of
the things that God has prepared for those that love Him. He reveals
them unto us. He makes known unto us the things
of Christ. To be filled with the Spirit
is to be filled with the revelation of Christ. It is to be filled
with the power to look at sin and be repulsed by it. The power
to be led of God to repentance. To be filled with the Spirit. You may not feel good, you may
feel awful, and that may be A just thing for you to do. Somebody
told me, well, when I leave church, he said, I think I ought to feel
better about myself than when I went in. I thought, not necessarily. Our Lord turned around, didn't
say a word, just looked at Peter, he went out wet and bitterly.
But that was a godly weeping. Be filled with the Spirit. The
Spirit's called the Comforter. Why? Because he takes the things
of Christ that give us comfort and he shows them unto us. Natural man receiveth not the
things of the Spirit of God, but foolishness to him. Huh? I don't have to hear the gospel
preached. No, you sure don't. Now you can go home and be without
God, without the Spirit, without any kind of truth, without any
kind of assurance. You can go off by yourself somewhere.
No, you don't have to be here. But you do if you're going to
hear from God. That's just so. That's a man, he don't receive
the things of the Spirit of God. They're foolishness to him. Well,
I can just sit down and read the book. I can get as much out
of it as you'd try. Go for it. I think you'll come
up with an empty bucket. Natural men receive, if not the
things of the Spirit of God, their foolishness to Him. But
every believer does. And the Word of God, the preaching
of the Gospel, the new birth, faith, repentance, they shall
all, He said, be taught of God. All of them. Be filled with the Spirit. And
then, here's the next thing He tells us to do. I'm talking about
our daily lives. He said, speak to yourselves
in songs and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody
in your heart to the Lord. You can't think on the things
of God if you're a believer and not rejoicing in your heart.
Huh? Oh my soul, why me? Huh? Because I will. Because I will. Jacob had my
love. He had every reason to hate Jacob,
every reason to love Esau. Esau was a man's man. Boy, he
stuck out in this world. Jacob was a hill grasper. He
was a conniver. God loved Jacob, hated Esau. Why? Because he could and because
he would. Speak to yourselves in psalms
and hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make a melody in your
heart. And oh, what comfort, what joy, what peace floods the
mind and hearts of those who are filled with the Spirit. Now
you can't sing to yourself if you ain't filled with the Spirit.
So what do we do? We take advantage of the things
of the Spirit. What things? Prayer. We don't
know what to pray for. Spirit makes intercession for
us with groanings. We groan inwardly for thanks. Spirit makes intercession for
us through the preaching of the gospel. Spirit interacts in the
ministry of men and feeds the children of God. Sets the bread
on the table, doesn't it? Giving thanks, verse 20. This
is our daily Lives we give thanks always. For what? All things. All things. But we don't have
to look far to find somebody worth shaping you are. Giving thanks for all things
unto God, that is the Spirit, and the Father, and doing so
in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. That is the Holy Spirit
and the Father as they're revealed in the person and work of Christ.
That's what he's talking about here. Gratitude is that which
grows on the tree that God plants and prunes. Gratitude. Gratitude. Paul uses that word
giving thanks unto the Father more than any other word. Over
and over and over. It's the fruit of the experience
of grace Giving thanks always and for all things unto God.
Now watch this, verse 21. Submitting yourselves one to
another in the fear of God. That is, in reverence to God. Submit yourselves. Submit yourselves in every relationship. Children, submit yourselves to
your parents. Parents, submit yourselves unto
the Lord. Servants, submit yourselves unto their masters. In every
circumstance, in every situation, submission is the true evidence
of a work of grace in the heart. The very first thing Paul said
about those Thessalonians when he said, I know your election
of God, was their submission. Their submission. Now, if you'll
take time and read to the end of this letter, you'll find the
apostles' teaching on every relationship servants and masters, employers
and employees, children and parents. But here in chapter 5, Paul spends
the rest of this whole chapter concerning husbands and wives.
And here, as in every relationship, he shows us the perfect example. Where do I look to learn? I look
at the perfect example. And so I titled the message this
morning, A Perfect Marriage. Concerning the union of a man
and a woman, the Holy Ghost said, this is a great mystery. It's
a mystery. But I speak concerning Christ
and the Church. Would you know the mystery? Look
to Christ and His Church. Here's a perfect marriage, Christ
and the Church. What do I know about this marriage?
Well, let me give you just as many things as time will allow.
I could go on for days. But first of all, I know that
a perfect marriage is arranged through God. That's the first
thing I know about it. In Genesis 2, verse 18, the Lord
God said, it's not good that man should dwell alone. It's
not good. I'll make him a helpmate. I will. Man didn't go to God
and say, I need a woman. He didn't know what a woman was.
He didn't know anything. He's ignorant just like we are.
We have no idea what a wife is to be without studying Christ
and His church. We come up with all sorts of
things. And men do. They have all kinds of ungodly
expectations from a woman. They never looked at the perfect
marriage. He didn't go to God and say,
I need a woman. God said, it's not good for him
to be alone. I'm going to make him help me. I'm going to make him help me.
And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a
woman and brought her unto the man. He didn't turn her loose
and she wandered around for a while and said, oh, there's a man.
No, God brought the woman to the man. Boy, I tell you, we need to think
about this. Basically, you young people, you need to think about
it. She was taken out of man, and knowing this, Adam said,
this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, and she
shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of, and if
you'll read that over in Genesis chapter 2, you'll see it's capitalized,
M-A-N. What's that telling me? The Woman
is taken out of Christ. Huh? Is that right? Way back yonder here in the beginning.
sets forth this perfect marriage. If you notice the word man is
capitalized, the bride of Christ is taken out of him. She has
her beginning in him and is made for him and a helpmate for him. Marriage is a relationship that
sets forth more than any other the union of Christ and His Church. He goes on and on and on about
it. Abraham had a promised son. Now
he knew God. He walked with God. God made
a covenant with Abraham. He called the Father the faithful.
You want to learn about faith? Go back there and look at Abraham.
You'll learn something about faith. Paul uses it to talk about
faith. But he had a promised son. A son promised and brought to
pass by God Himself, and Abraham arranged for him to take a bride
from his father's house. From his father's house. And
he sent out a faithful servant. He said, I'm going to give you,
you go out there, you're my servant, you have control over my thing.
You go out there and pick you out six, seven, eight good camels.
And you load them up. Load them up with what? Gifts. What? I don't even know who she
is yet. It's all right. Take the gifts
with you. When I stand up here and preach
to you, I have wagons full of gifts. But I don't know who they're
for. I just know they're for this
one that God's going to arrange to be his bride. That's what
I know. I have gifts. And he left them
covered. Left them covered. I can't uncover
the gifts. Only God can. And he sent this servant out.
And the servant, he was perplexed. This was a serious charge that
Abraham had given to him and he took it seriously and he went
out. And he went exactly where Abraham told him to go, and he
sat there, and he said, oh man, all these women come down here
to gather water. He said, Lord, can you give me
some evidence? Can you give me a sign? He said,
the woman that you have for Isaac, when I ask her for a drink, she
not only gonna give me a drink, but she's gonna water all my
candles. Rebecca come up and he said,
could I have a drink? Sure you can, told him so. And
she said, here, I watered the camels. God gives evidence of his bride,
don't he? He does. He does. In God's providence, he found
Rebecca. And being confident that she
was the one, he bestowed the gifts of his master to her and
took her back to Isaac. Would you have a perfect marriage? Then look for the evidence of
it and wait for the providence of God to reveal it. A perfect
marriage is arranged of God. Secondly, a perfect marriage
is one where the husband enters into a marriage covenant with
his eyes wide open. You hear what I'm saying? Considering
the worst circumstances, When you take those marriage vows,
doesn't it say for better or worse? For richer or poorer? Till death do us part? Considering
the worst circumstances imaginable, in full understanding of her
nature and the awful effects of it, that it can and will produce. You enter into a marriage with
your eyes wide open. Wide open. Our Lord did not put
His bride on a pedestal and say, you live up to my expectations
or else. No, He didn't. He made provision
for the worst of circumstances. He entered into a marriage with
His eyes wide open. Didn't He? You don't believe
it, read the book of Hosea. You can't even imagine such a
thing, can you? She was a harlot. He said, this
harlot represents the whole house of Israel. So what did he do? He followed
her to her lover's house and left her gifts on the door. And she wasn't thankful. She
thought her lovers did that. Oh, we enter into a marriage
contract with our eyes wide open. He loved her, made full provision
for all her weaknesses and inabilities. Now listen to this. Husbands,
I hear all the time what the wife's supposed to do for men. They never one time ever mention
this verse. Husbands, love your wives as
Christ did the church. Oh my soul. What a church. What a church. Even as Christ also loved the
church, now listen, and gave himself for it. In the book of Hosea, you find
him going down to the auction block, down at the slave quarters,
and buying his wife. When a husband truly loves his
bride, he gives himself for her. What's that mean? It means whatever
it takes, whatever it costs, whatever he must bear. To give
oneself is all-inclusive. He that spared not his own son,
but delivered him up for his own, how shall he not also freely
give us all that? He gave himself. What's he going
to spare? His time? He gave himself. That means he
gave his time, his attention, his labor, his consideration,
his money, his love. He gave himself. Third, a perfect marriage is
one where the bride is made aware of the affection of a man. Love is made known by declaration. This ungodly world begins with
the idea that God loves everybody. Oh, no he don't. And you'd be
wise not to tell your wife that either. I love everybody. Jacob have I loved, Esau have
I hated, he said. He said that before they were
born. He said that to declare his love for Jacob. He never
declared his love for Esau. But he did to Jacob. In time,
he entered into a covenant relationship with Jacob. He never entered
into one with Esau. He blessed Jacob. He didn't bless
Esau. A perfect relationship begins
with a declaration of affection. How does God declare His love
for His bride? Words. Words, gifts, provisions, promises,
the list goes on. A perfect marriage is one where
the husband makes his affections known. Boaz saw Ruth leaning
in the field, he said, who is that? Oh, she came over here
to Naomi. She's a Gentile. Boaz had no more to say to the
servants. He went straight to Ruth. And
he said, you glean in my field. Don't go nowhere else. You just
glean in my field. And you see those sheaves I've
stacked up over there, cut, stacked? You glean in them. You glean
where you know there's seed. You go there and glean. Oh, my
soul. You abide here, he said, and
to his servants, let her glean even among the sheaves, and let
go hands of purpose. When you're gathering in my crop,
you just drop some on purpose. I quote this verse often. I never
quite seen it the way I did during the study. He said, I have not
seen nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man
the things that God hath prepared for them that love him. But who
is it that loves him? Our Lord said to the Pharisees,
I know you. You have not the love of God
in you. Who loves him? Who loves God? 1 John 4, 19 said, we love him. because He first loved us. How do you know? He told you.
He told you. He showed you. He revealed it
to you. The love of God is made known.
It's communicated to us through the preaching of the Gospel.
Paul said he prayed for the saints at Ephesus that they might know
the love of Christ which passeth knowledge and be filled with
all the fullness of God. And John said, He that loveth
not knoweth not God. God never revealed His love to
you. If He did, you love Him, and
you love His people. Love is particular, and it can
only be known as it's declared. Listen to this, 1 Corinthians
2, verse 11. He said, For what man knoweth
the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him?
Even so the things of God knoweth no man, save the Spirit of God.
Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the
Spirit which is of God, that we might know the things that
are freely given to us of God. Now that's both ways. A perfect
marriage is one where the bride finds a man who is and has all
she could ever need. I'm talking about a perfect marriage.
Believers never leave Christ because He has all they ever
could want, ever need. They never leave Christ because
He's all sufficient. Do I need mercy? There it is. Grace abounding. Love limitless. Above unbounding mercy and grace
without end, kindness overwhelming, tenderness unequaled. There's
always food on His table, safety in His house, comfort
in His presence, wisdom in His words. Our Lord had a multitude, a great
multitude, no telling how many thousands were following Him,
listening to Him. And he said, except you eat of
my flesh and drink of my blood, you've got no life in you. And
they looked at each other and they said, he's talking about
cannibalism. And that great multitude walked away. There was nobody
left but the twelve. And our Lord turned to them and
he said, you going to go too? Door's open. You want to leave
too? They said, where shall we go?
Thou hast the words of eternal life. We find all that we need in Him. So a perfect marriage is one
arranged by God. One where the husband enters
into a marriage covenant with his eyes wide open. One where
the bride is made aware of a man's affection for her. One in whom
the bride finds all that she could ever need. And in Pipley,
a perfect marriage is one in which the husband and his bride
become one. In the physical or natural, when
a man and a woman are joined together in holy matrimony, there's
a conjugal joining of themselves, of their bodies, and they too,
God says, shall be one flesh. For either to deny the other
is called in 1 Corinthians 7.5 defrauding. I defrauded him. It's called
in verse 3 of that same chapter, giving due benevolence, charity. What's that? Active love. What
our generation very badly calls making love. It's an act of love. And in the
spiritual it describes the experience of a believer coming to know
his union with the Son of God, the believer's husband. In order
to feel and know our union with Christ can only be known as the
Spirit of God opens to us and applies to our hearts the gospel
of Jesus Christ our Lord. And when he does, And when he
makes known that union with us, there is a euphoria, a climax,
whatever you want to call it. I don't have words to describe
it. But that's the only other act I know where a person can
feel that way. And he uses that to show our
union with Christ. A conjugal joining of our bodies
together. In the physical, Paul said, let
every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband.
And everything else, he says, is adultery and fornication.
And pictures in detail of the experience of false religion.
The union or coming together of the husband and wife is at
the heart of every marriage, and it's the very heart of the
believer's hope. Listen, Christ in you, the hope
of glory. One with you. Isn't that what
he prays in John 17? We saw that in our study, didn't
we? Follow myself, that they might
be one, Father, even as we're one. When we assemble ourselves in
this place, is this not what we desire? For Christ to embrace
us in his arms and make known his union to us? There's nothing else in this
world that can even come close to picturing this euphoria experience
when God the Holy Spirit reveals that union and his love for us. A perfect marriage is when a
man and a woman celebrate their marriage union. And then lastly,
a perfect marriage is one where the bride is so overwhelmed by
her husband's person and work that she lovingly, willingly
submits to his rule And in love does all she can do to serve
Him all the days of her life. The only way that we can serve
Christ as His bride is submit. The only way you're going to
submit is when you experience His love. Is that right? If you don't go back to the law
of God and look at it, You don't love the Lord thy God with all
thy heart, soul, mind, and spirit, and your neighbors yourself.
You can forget the rest of the law because it's all hinged on
that. If that's not the motive, you
haven't kept the law. Not that we could, but all I'm
saying is if you look at that as your example and you come
up here and you look at Christ, how are we going to serve him?
A man not too long ago told me, he said, We have to have a little
love. No, you have to have a lot of
love. You don't want any love. You that desire to be under the
law, you hear what the law says? You don't want that. What you
want is love. You want to be dead to the law
that you might marry another. And in that marriage, that love
is communicated. And when you see in Him, in Him,
You see these things. You're so overwhelmed by his
person and work that you lovingly, willingly submit to his rule
and in love do all you can to serve him. Oh, how this generation
hates the words of the marriage ceremony that gives the charge
to the wife to love, honor, and obey her husband. Till death
do they part. Now here's the question. Where
will a woman find such a man? Where will a man find such a
woman? Neither exists in this world. The only perfect marriage that
I can find is Christ and His church. But the closest thing
you'll ever find to it is for two believers to marry. That's right. That's the closest
thing to it. I've told you often, when a child
of the devil and a child of God marry, you're always going to
have trouble with your father-in-law. That's true. Both directions. The perfect marriage is Christ
and His Church. And no matter what my physical
marriage is here, I can be comforted knowing that I have one there.
And it's perfect. It's perfect. Huh? What do I
know about marriage? I know what I see, and I see
it in its perfection. And oh, how I want that in my
life. I want that in my daily walk. Don't you? I want to experience
that love. I want to walk in love. And that's
what he tells us to do, isn't it? A perfect marriage. I hope
the Lord will open that to your hearts.