All right, let's get into this
message today, and I want you to listen carefully. I'm going
to speak on the subject, a happy marriage. A happy marriage. And I'd like to hear from you,
pro or con. Last week, I brought a message
on Christ, our peace. And this message I'm bringing
today will be on that same tape. I'd like for you to have both
of them. Now, you listen to the message, and you'll decide whether
you want it or not. And at the end, the announcer
will tell you how to get this message on tape. But here's my
text, Ephesians 5, verse 22 through 25. Ephesians 5, it says, Wives,
submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ even as Christ is the head of the
church and then he says husbands love your wives love your wives
even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it now in
speaking from the word of God on the subject of happy marriage
the very first point I must establish is this to whom am I speaking
To whom am I speaking? Not indiscriminately to everybody. I'm preaching primarily to people
who believe the Bible. You'd have a hard time proving
anything to a man from the Bible who does not believe the Bible.
So I'm speaking, preaching today, primarily to people who believe
the Word of God and who love the Lord Jesus Christ and who
care what He says. Those are the people I'm speaking
to. I'm not saying now that the laws of marriage do not apply
to unbelievers. They do. Do you get that? I'm
not saying that the laws of marriage do not apply to an unbeliever.
They do. But how can a minister appeal
to a person on the basis of Scripture if that person does not believe
and love the Scriptures? Notice in the text, wives, obey
your husbands or submit to your own husbands unto the Lord that's
assuming that she knows the Lord that's assuming she cares what
the Lord says that's assuming she is conscious of the Lord's
Word as unto the Lord and then it says husbands love your wives
as Christ loved the church that means nothing to an unsaved man
he doesn't know anything about Christ or the church nor does
he care whether Christ loved the church so I can't help you
in this important marriage of a happy important sermon on a
happy marriage if you don't endorse the principles of scripture.
If you do not seek the glory of God and if you do not love
the Lord Jesus Christ. So I'm speaking primarily to
people who say that they believe the Bible and who profess to
love the Redeemer. Now, some of you are not married
yet. Some of you are still single. Perhaps my message will impress
upon you the seriousness of marriage Perhaps my message will teach
you the responsibilities of marriage. You see, marriage is a oneness.
The two shall be one flesh, Christ said. Marriage is a partnership. Marriage is a living together
in faith and in fellowship with Christ. That's what marriage
is. So it may be some young person who's contemplating marriage
will listen to this message and be helped. And now listen to
this. Come on, now listen right here.
Some of you, perhaps many of you, because of the day in which
we're living, some of you are divorced and remarried. Divorced and remarried. And the
Lord has been pleased to bring you to a knowledge of Himself.
He's been pleased to save you and or your wife, bring you to
a knowledge of Christ. Well, what would we do? Well,
I tell you, forget the past. Forget the past. God has. And build for the present and
the future. You're not responsible if you're
converted to go back and straighten out the past and mess up to three
families. You're not responsible to go
back and straighten out the past any more than a murderer who
is saved is required to raise his dead victim. Man who's killed
someone, God saved him. He doesn't have to go back and
raise the victim from the dead. And whatever's back yonder, leave
it back yonder. Leave it alone. And go on from
here and build your home. Now, some of you are married,
and you don't have a happy marriage. Maybe I can help you. Well, let's
start here. Here's a solemn and necessary word. Now listen to
me. Here, home, home, is where true
religion is tested and revealed. Home is where true faith is tested,
tested the most, and that's where it's revealed. I wouldn't give
you two cents for a public profession of religion or faith that does
not show love and tenderness at home. I wouldn't give you
two cents. I wouldn't give you any hope. The man who is so gracious
and kind at church to everybody else and so hateful at home,
I wouldn't give you two cents for his profession of faith or
his so-called religion. True religion is tested and revealed
at home. A man or woman that does not
show kindness and gentleness and compassion at home, what
good is their religion on the streets or in the church? If
my wife and children and grandchildren do not see Christ in me, what
profit is it If you see Christ in me, and you only see me once
a week, if my wife and children do not have respect for my profession
of faith, then it's not worth a plug nickel. If my wife and
children do not have confidence in my relationship with God,
I've missed Christ. You see, that's where the mask
is removed at home. We can wear our mask in public
pretense. hypocrisy. But when we get home,
that's where the mask comes off. You can impress the preacher.
You can impress the people at church with your faith. You can
put on a good show down at the meeting house, but the wise man
is more concerned for the glory of God and a good testimony at
home before his family and children than he is down there at the
church house. They really know him. They really
know him. And that's where it's revealed.
Somebody said to John Newton one time, said, uh, Mr. Newton said, uh, Brother Smith
is a, is a great professor of religion, a great public prayer
and teacher and all. Do you believe he's really saved?
John Newton said, well, I really don't know. I've never lived
with him. I've never lived with him. See, that's where it's revealed,
those that live with you. And then that's the serious,
solemn point that I would make. A genuine relationship with the
Lord Jesus Christ is revealed in the home. That's where it
is. That's where the mask comes off.
That's where the rubber hits the road, some preachers say.
That's where true revelation of myself is judged. And then secondly, marriage begins
with certain vows. In other words, I've married
a lot of people in these thirty-some odd years, and they stand before
me, and a question I ask them turned to the man and to the
woman. I said, do you take Mary or John or whoever to be your
lawful wedded husband or wife, and do you promise in the sight
of Almighty God and these witnesses that you'll be to her, to him,
a true and devoted wife or husband? to love and to cherish and to
remain faithful till death shall part you." And they say, I do.
I do. Now, you may take these vows
lightly, but God doesn't. Did you know that? God doesn't.
These are solemn vows that we're taking upon ourselves in the
presence of God. That's what the preacher says.
That's right. The book of Numbers chapter 30 verse 2 says this,
If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all
that proceedeth out of his mouth. Solomon said it's better, it's
better that thou shouldest not vow at all than that thou shouldest
vow and not pay. God is a witness to every marriage
ceremony. And he'll be a witness to the
violation of every vow. So it's a pretty serious thing
to put away your wife or put away your husband. I'm talking
about people who know the Lord now. I'm talking about people
who claim to be saved. You're playing with dynamite.
That's exactly right. You've made some vows. And you're
under a solemn responsibility to keep that vow before God. And you can't change that. And then thirdly, marriage has
certain Bible guidelines and certain duties and responsibilities,
serious responsibilities and duties. A man takes a wife. The
Bible says something about the duties and responsibilities of
a husband in the home and a wife and children. Children, obey
your parents and the Lord. The Bible has something to say
about you men that work at the plants and other places, about
being good workmen and giving a full day's work and doing your
best to promote the business that hired you. It's got something
to say to you men who work men, to pay them a decent wage and
withhold not from the labor of his hire. It's got something
to say about these things. It's got something to say about
stealing down there where you work, too. It's got some things
to say about that. There's a lot to say about things
like that. A man takes a wife, and Scripture says he's to love
her and prefer her and defend her above all. That's what it said, Genesis
2, 24, and this was before the fall even. This was before Adam
and Eve's sin. God said, talking about Adam
and Eve, husband and wife, He said, therefore shall a man leave
his mother and father. and cling to his wife, and the
two shall be one flesh." I've known a lot of men who cause
a lot of trouble in their home because they're mama's boys.
You know, they can't cut the apron strings or the cord for
mama. They defend their mama against
their wives or their daddy against their wives and all this sort
of thing. Your wife is the one you have to love and honor and
cherish and defend and protect and watch over and stand with
her. I've known women to cause a lot of trouble in their home
defending the children against the husband. That's dangerous. You husbands
and wives stand with each other. Stand with each other. Defend
one another against the whole world if necessary. Don't you
side with mama and daddy. Your mother-in-law has a conflict
with your wife. You stand with your wife. He
is to love her and not be bitter or harsh, bitter. Colossians
3, 19 says, Husband, love your wife and be not bitter, caustic,
harsh with your wife. Be gentle. Love your wife. He's to treat her as a weaker
vessel, dependent. I know women today don't particularly
like this, but so anyway. He says, dependent on his care
and protection. and provision. Husbands, dwell
with your wives according to knowledge. Give honor to her
as the weaker vessel, that your prayers be not hindered." He
used to provide for her. I Timothy 5, 8 says, listen to
this, "'If any man provide not for his own, especially for those
of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than
an infidel.'" You want me to read that one again? Provide
for your household, provide for your wife, provide for your children.
If any man provide not for his own, especially for those of
his own house, he has denied the faith, and he's worse than
an infidel. Men who waste their substance
on foolishness, foolishness, instead of providing for their
wives and children, giving them the things that they need. Well,
a woman takes a husband. Her husband is her head. I'm
not bashful or shy or backward about declaring what God says
about this. The husband is the head of the woman. That's what
God says. Same Bible that says Jesus Christ
is the Son of God, and Jesus Christ died for our sins, and
He's the way, the truth, and the life, and you must be born
again. And the only way to God is by grace through faith, and
Jesus Christ says the husband is the head of the house. That's
what it says. He's the leader. God said to
Eve when she sinned, He said, your desire to be your husband,
and he shall rule over thee. Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition. The husband rules the home. Now, he doesn't rule by law or
a stick. He rules with love. But he rules
the home. He's the head of that house.
He's the spiritual leader of that house. Ephesians 5, 22 says, yourselves to your own husbands
as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. And as the
church is subject to Christ in all things, let the wives be
subject to their husbands in everything, in everything. My friends, one of the highest
callings in the world, dear ladies, listen to me, one of the highest
callings in this world Women talk about their careers, you
know, and all this stuff. One of the highest callings in
this world is to be a good mother, and a sweet and gracious and
kind and lovable companion, and to build a home for the glory
of God, and a good helpmate and companion for a good husband.
That's one of the highest callings in this world, next to the office
of preaching the gospel. Women aren't competitors, they're
companions. Women are foolish to try to act
like men, or dress like men, or work like men, or live like
men. They're not men, they're women. Keepers at home, training their
children. Some women, their babysitters
know their children better than they do. And everybody in the
world has more influence over their children than they do.
I don't know why, you know a lot of times, Be on some kind of
television program and ask a dear lady, well, what do you do? She
said, my housewife. Oh, that's what God made her
to be. That's what God raised her up
to be. That's our highest calling in
this world. To be what God made you to be
for His glory. To be a good wife and a mother. to give life to some child, and
oversee it, and watch over it, and pray for it, and instruct
it, and train it, and help it, and care for it. My, my. Why would you want to hire a
colleague? There ain't none. There just is none. Most important person in the
home. I said the husband's the head of the home. I know that.
He's the leader. But the wife is the most important part of
that The proper motivation in the marriage relationship is
not duty, though, it's love. I can talk about duties and responsibilities
and all these things forever. That's not it, it's love. The
whole law of God is fulfilled in one word, love. And right
here is where every duty is met, to love one another. Right here
is where every problem is solved, to love one another. Right here
is when every relationship comes into its proper perspective,
if we love one another. Love beareth all things, believeth
all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. No sacrifice
too great for love. Love gives and forgives. Love
reaches out and love receives graciously. Love honors and respects. Love speaks kindly and considerately. Love remembers. And love is grateful,
and love never fails. I heard a woman say one time
about a man, she said, well, he loves in his own way. Well,
it's time he quit loving in his own way and started loving God's
way. Love is the gift of God. And
really, marriage is not so much finding the right person as being
the right person. I've had people say, well, I
love my wife, but I don't like her. Or, I love my husband, but
I just don't like him. I love him now. I don't misunderstand
him. I just don't like to be around him. Is that possible? Yes. Did I shock you? Well, it is possible. Because
we can have habits and ways and attitudes that are offensive,
that offend people. And while people love us, they
just don't enjoy our company. That's right. Just because you're
married doesn't mean you enjoy somebody's company. Take for
example, there's Mr. Grouchy. Everybody has to be
careful around him. He's always mad at somebody.
You have to be careful not to offend him. He's always upset.
Upset. What he wants, everybody else
has to do, you know. He's got to have his way. Well,
you may love Mr. Grouchy, but you sure don't enjoy
his company. And you like to avoid him. And
then somebody said, there's Mr. Sloppy. In public, he's neat
and careful about his appearance, but at home, he's just about
to be found anyway. Careless, unshaven, sloppy. I read something one time that
impressed me. Someone said, well, cleanliness
may not be next to godliness, but I prefer it next to me. Somebody
said one time, also water and soap would do wonders for marriage.
Mr. Sloppy. You may love him, but
you just don't enjoy him. And then there's Mr. Stinney.
He says, it's my money, and my car, and my house. He has the
first nickel he ever made. Or he may spend it on himself,
but never on his family or on his wife. She never has a dime
in her purse or her pocketbook. She never can just go out and
buy something that she happens to see that she wants, even though
they may afford it, because Mr. Stingy, it's his money. He says, I make it, I earn it,
I go out and bring home the bacon, you fry it, you know. Well, you
may love that fella, but he's sure not very enjoyable to be
around. You'd sure trade him in on another
model, a lot of people would. These are true things. Now, I
know what I'm talking about. But then there's Mrs. Chargent.
Mrs. Chargent. She keeps her poor
husband in debt to every store in town. Keeps his nose to the
grindstone. She has a charge plate on every
store in town. And the poor man stays right
up against it week after week, month after month, so heavily
in debt he can't see the light of day. All he can do is work
and moonlight and get some other job to pay that woman's bill.
That's hard to like. Awful hard to like. Learn to live in your means.
Be generous with what you have, but live in your means. Live
on what God provides. That's His providence. That's
His good providence. Well, as Mr. and Mrs. put others
down. Have you ever met them? A man
calls his wife, my old lady. That's not very complimentary,
is it? or a wife calls her husband the old man. I've actually heard
women berate their husbands in public. Make them feel awfully
bad. Just say harsh and cruel things
in public. That's not respectful and that's
not grace. This is the reason I'm saying,
my dear friends, that true faith and true religion is revealed
in the home. Not just in a church building
where everybody's singing, Oh, how I love Jesus, and everybody's
praying and reading the Scripture and putting on a good front,
a good show. I'm talking about at home. I'm
talking about in the living room, in the bedroom, in the den. I'm
talking about in the kitchen. I'm talking about day by day,
right down, living. And living in such a way that
it gives an evidence that you've met Christ and you're a new creature
in Christ. Hmm? If any man be in Christ,
he's a new creature, and he'll be a better husband, he'll be
a better father, he'll be a better worker. If a woman's in Christ,
she'll be a good wife, a submissive wife, and a good mother, and
a good neighbor. And if she's not, she's Miss
Christ. Mr. and Mrs., put me down. Did you
ever hear a husband or wife talk about one another in critical
terms? critical. I feel like one man
said to his wife one time in my presence, he said, well, honey,
he said, I may not be the smartest fellow on earth, but you don't
need to remind me of it. I said it. He said, I need encouragement. I need help. I'm doing the best
I can. I heard another man say one time
when he was being compared to another Man had a better job,
made more money, drove a bigger car, bigger house. But he said,
I may not be as successful as some people, but I need your
encouragement. I need your help because I'm
trying. I'm trying. Can't you find some
good points? Find some good points and praise
one another and be grateful to one another. How many of you
get up on the table and say, thank you, honey. I appreciate it. It was good. I appreciate
it. You do when you eat. Not one another, since one another.
You ever yell at him, Mr. Powder? Oh boy, he's a tough one now.
He'll give you the side of the paper. You know what he's mad about, but
he won't speak. He's not going to speak. He's going to pal. He's going
to ignore you. Or she is going to ignore you.
She's going to stick her bottom lip out and pal. This is cruel. That's
cruel. Mr. Powder, if he's going to
miss you, is that faith? Is that grace? Is that Christ?
Is that the example of the Son of God? Here's another one I
ran into one time. I ran into a mister. I didn't
marry his family. He didn't like her mother, he didn't like her
father, he didn't like her brother, he didn't like her sister. I didn't marry your
family, he said. Well, you did, but she's still her family. She
still loves him. And she's still his family. He still loves her.
Still honor your father and mother. That means honor your father in law
and mother in law, too. That your days may be long upon
the land which the Lord thy God hath given thee. Now, I mean,
he knows a touchy thing, but I'm dealing with a preacher a
long time. I've been home to help people,
and while I'm sitting in centers coming to know Christ, I'd like
to walk in an aisle and shake a bunch of hands and join in
the church and make the profession. I want you to know Christ, if
you need Him, it'll change your home, it'll change your heart,
and your home will change your attitude, change your spirit,
change your outlook, make you a new creature, and you'll grow
in grace and in the knowledge of Christ. If you ain't growing,
you're dead. If you're not making some progress, you're dead. Have
you met Mr. I've Got? He forgets birthdays,
he forgets anniversaries, he forgets Mother's Day, he forgets
Christmas, he forgets everything. But he didn't when you were dating.
But he just forgets. Have you met Mr. Take-You-For-Granted? He's the one who cries the loudest
at the funeral. Why not a kind word now? Take-You-For-Granted. But boy, when she's gone. He
sure makes a lot of noise. Or when he's gone, she makes
a lot of noise. But right now, just take them for granted. Let's
try to build our homes on the Word of God for the glory of
Christ. If you want this tape, A Happy Marriage, you write to
me. On the back of it is Christ Our
Peace. Maybe it'll help. If it helps
one person, I'm glad I preached it. You write to me. The address
is given to you right now in just a moment, right on your
television screen. Send two dollars and we'll mail
you the tape. Until next week, God bless you, everyone.