Now let us turn together to 1
Peter, and I shall read just two verses
from chapter 2 and then drop down to chapter 3 and verse 7. 1 Peter 2, verses 11 and 12. Beloved, I beseech you as sojourners
and pilgrims to abstain from fleshly lusts which war against
the soul, having your behavior honorable among the Gentiles,
that wherein they speak against you as evildoers, they may, by
your good works which they behold, glorify God in the day of visitation."
Chapter 3 and verse 7. You husbands, in like manner,
Dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto
the woman as unto the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs
of the grace of life, to the end that your prayers be not
hindered. Now I would like all of you this
morning to imagine with me that you are in a room with a large
group of married men, and you need to know a little something
about these men. In years past, they lived unprincipled,
lust-driven, hedonistic lives, the kind of lives that Peter
describes in chapter 4 in the opening verses in this very epistle. But then the gospel came to them
and they were radically transformed into committed Christ-loving
men, desirous of knowing and doing the will of God in every
single area of their lives. Now in the midst of getting acquainted
with this group of men and making it evident that you are willing
to entertain questions from them, questions particularly with reference
to this passionate desire that they have to know and do the
will of God in every area of their lives, one of them raises
his hand and asks this question. He says to you, sir or ma'am,
I'm now a child of God. And as a child of God, I desire
to please Him. Could you give me, in a nutshell,
in a very simple, succinct, summarized way, what is the heart of what
I ought to know and do if I'm to please God as a husband? I've
got so little to help me. In my background, I took my marriage
vows very lightly. I come out of a society in which
women are treated as chattel. I come from a background in which
sensitivity and love and selflessness were no part of my experience,
no part of the models of what a husband-wife relationship should
be. Sir, can you help me? Can you
give me something that in a very pithy, succinct, short compass
will help me to begin in some substantive way to be the kind
of husband God would have me be." Well, if you had a question
and a request like that, how would you respond? Well, Peter has said it for us,
and that by the special guidance and inspiration of the Holy Spirit
unique to the biblical writers. For here in chapter 3, After
a section that comprises six verses in our Bibles, giving
explicit directives to wives, when he turns to give directives
to husbands, he condenses it all into one simple verse. Husbands, in like manner, dwell
with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor unto
the woman as unto the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs
of the grace of life, to the end that your prayers be not
hindered." Write that down, take it home, begin to ponder it,
begin to work it out, and you, sir, will have, in a nutshell,
what it is, in God's perspective, that will make you a husband
well-pleasing unto Him. Now, as we come to this condensed,
tightly packed statement of the husband's duty, let me take just
a moment to remind you of the overall and larger setting of
this passage. This is why I read chapter 2,
verses 11 and 12. At the end of the second series
of setting forth the marvelous privileges of all the people
of God, Peter gives this new appeal to practical Christian
living, calling upon God's people to remember their identity as
sojourners in pilgrims, negatively to abstain from fleshly lust,
positively to have a pattern of life that is honorable and
commends the gospel so that an unbelieving world will see the
reality of their Christian faith. And when he then moves to particular
ways in which God's people can manifest such a lifestyle, as
we have seen, he focuses on the issue of submission to constituted
authority, the citizen to the state or to human government,
the servant to the master, and then the wife to her husband.
And here, Peter now turns and is going to address husbands,
not in terms of a duty of submission, but in terms of their responsibility
to their wives. And in this verse we are given
then the divine directive to married men It is an answer to
the question, how do I, as a married man, so live as to commend the
transforming power of the gospel? And Peter gives us that response
in this text. Now, as with the divine directive
to the wives, each of us ought to stretch out our ears and listen
attentively. Obviously, you married men here
ought to listen because God's speaking to you. And in the Greek,
it's very straightforward and simple, the husbands. And if you were sitting there,
when this epistle was first read, you would know that if you're
a married man, God through the Apostle Peter has something very
explicit to say to you. But then for you single men,
most of you have some hopes that someday you will become married
men. Well, you ought to have the divine
job description clearly before you. You ought to listen with
great eagerness so that you may begin to prayerfully internalize
God's job description for you as a potential husband. You single
women, what should you look for? Well, don't look for the girth
of his shoulders and the size of his biceps as the first condition
of whether you're going to take a second look. If you look at
all, and you do, thankfully, most of you single gals look
discreetly. You don't make it evident you're
looking, but you know that you look, and I know that you look,
and it's natural to look. Well, what should you be looking
for? Well, you should be looking for men possible marriage partners
in whom some of these perspectives have begun to work themselves
out because a trip down an aisle and the exchange of vows and
a lovely, touching, tear-jerking wedding and a happy reception
won't change the buzzard if he knows nothing about these things.
He'll be exactly what he was when he stood there and said,
I do. So get your eyes open. And say, here is God's job description
of what a man ought to be and do as a husband, and I want to
see some of the evidences of these character traits and attitudes
and dispositions prior to allowing my heart to go out, let alone
to commit myself to a lifelong relationship. And then what about
the widows and the widowers? Why should you listen? Well,
some of you may yet become married if God is pleased to give you
another partner in life. But if not, according to Titus
2, the older people who have had marital experience have a
responsibility to the younger people. Paul speaks to the older
men and what they are to do, and the older women. So you ought
to have an ever-growing understanding of what it is that you ought
to be passing on to the younger generation, and then you children. Why should you listen? Oh, marriage
is way out there a long time from now. Remember Psalm 1. Would
you be the blessed man, the blessed woman? Would you grow from what
you are now as a boy or a girl into a blessed man or woman?
Psalm 1 says the way of blessedness is not to stand in the way of
sinners. It is not to sit in the seat
of scoffers. It is not to allow the counsel
of ungodliness to shape your thinking. And you ought, from
your earliest days, to plead with God, Lord, let me have a
mind steeped in your ways as revealed in the Scriptures. Ah,
but you say, Pastor, I'm unconverted and glad I am. What's this have
to say to me? Well, hopefully It will make
you jealous when you see how suitable the Christian life is
to everything we are as human beings, male and female, and
how suitable are God's directives for husbands to the promotion
of our highest happiness that I hope it convinces you that
you're in a course of taking something far less than your
potential as an image-bearer of God to remain unconverted.
So it has something to say to all of us. Let us come then to
our text, the divine directive to married men, and we begin
first of all with the objects of this divine directive. To
whom is this directive given? Well, it's obvious from the text,
you husbands. The opening words would immediately
alert every man in the congregation where the letter was read that
something was being addressed to them in a very specific and
concrete way. And the little connecting particle,
you husbands in like manner, points us to the larger context
of the overarching concerns of the Apostle Peter. He has been
telling citizens how they are to glorify God by a life consistent
with their new relationship to Christ, in relationship to the
state, servants in relation to masters, wives in relations to
husband, and this particle that has great flexibility in its
use, sometimes just a transition word, in essence is used this
way, looking in the same way at the other side of the marital
relationship, you husbands, if you would live out your calling
as strangers and sojourners, abstaining from fleshly lusts
that war against the soul, If you would so live in a commendable
and honorable way that your lifestyle validates the power of the gospel,
then you husbands, listen, Peter says, to what I have to say to
you. But as we noted in the directive
to wives, he is not simply writing to husbands. As a secular marriage
counselor, drawing upon the stuff of men's natural resources to
try to raise the standard of marital bliss in Asia Minor.
Peter is not only writing to husbands, to married men, but
he's writing to Christian men. Men who possess in Christ everything
that is said of a Christian in chapters 1 and 2 of this epistle.
He is writing to husbands who have in Christ everything that
he has described in chapters 1 and 2. They too have been begotten
again unto a living hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ
from the dead. They too have that glorious inheritance,
incorruptible, undefiled, and that fades not away, reserved
in heaven for them. They too are being kept by the
power of God, through faith, unto salvation, ready to be revealed
in the last time. They, too, are undergoing the
purifying influence of suffering. They, too, love an unseen Christ. They, too, are per- you just
go right through the epistle. And when Peter comes and says,
you husbands, he has not forgotten all that he has said about them
as Christians. What he says to them as husbands
is predicated upon what he's already said about them as Christians. And we must not forget that,
especially in this age that is obsessed with how-to schemes. Everyone running off to seminars
on how to this, how to that, how to the other, when at the
end of the day, the great issue that we must constantly reckon
with, unless we have the life of a Christian, we cannot live
the Christian life. And Peter assumes that these
men have experienced and possess all that he has described in
the first two chapters, and therefore, as with the women, He can assume
on solid grounds that these men who would hear these words, the
husbands, and then the word of divine directive would come.
He could assume that this word would come to those in whom there
would be found grace-produced motives inclining them to obey,
and grace-produced power enabling them to obey. I hope you remember
those two headings when we took up the directive to the wives.
Peter could assume in the wives and in these husbands there would
be grace-produced motives inclining them to receive the directive. Perhaps the most powerful of
those motives, whom having not seen, you love. In whom, believing,
though you see him not, you rejoice with joy unspeakable and full
of glory. Jesus said, if you love me, You
will keep my commandments. He that hath my commandments
and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me. He that loveth me
not keepeth not my sayings. Peter can assume that he's not
going to have to overcome some great barrier in the minds and
in the affections of these men. He is convinced that their affections
are already turned to Christ. And there is a disposition and
a desire to obey him out of love and gratitude. And then he can
also assume that there is grace-produced power enabling them to obey.
He described them in chapter 1 as those who had purified their
souls in their obedience to the truth, as those who had been
begotten again by the word of God. God had wrought in them
that supernatural work of new birth, empowering them in union
with Christ to a life of obedience. This directive comes not just
to husbands, but it comes to Christian husbands, with grace-produced
motives inclining them to obey, grace-produced power enabling
them to obey, and furthermore, it is evident that Peter not
only assumes that they are Christians, but he assumes that they are
Christians seeking at some level to give assertive, responsible
leadership to their wives. How do we know that? Well, look
at the passage. Chapter 3 and verse 1, in like manner you wives
be in subjection to your own husbands, assuming the wives
are Christians, most of their husbands would be Christians,
then he addresses the exception that even if any obey not the
word. You see, the assumption is if
wives are to be in subjection to their husbands, that their
husbands are taking a place worthy of being subjected to. That is,
they are in the posture of taking responsible leadership. If later
on in the passage he says that the pattern of these women is
to be the holy women of Old Testament history, who hoped in God, being
in subjection to their own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham, obviously
Abraham was not sitting back letting Sarah make all the decisions. He was giving assertive leadership
that would warrant her obedience. That's on the surface of the
passage. Peter is assuming that these guys had not went out and
relinquished the burden and the privilege of giving responsible,
assertive leadership to their wives. To whom does this directive
come? It comes to just such men. And before I move off this head,
I want to make an appeal to the unconverted men and boys among
us, whether married not married, someday hope to be married. You
see, Peter can give this directive, you husbands in like manner,
dwell with your wives, give honor to your wives, knowing that grace
has been operative in them and will continue to be operative
in them, enabling them to be the kind of husbands that would
please God. But Jesus said, without me, you
can do nothing. Without me, cut off from me,
severed from me, you can do nothing. And you see, you who are unconverted,
as much as you may think, well, in my own strength, I will be
a good husband. I have no intentions of being
harsh and to brutalize my wife, to be unfaithful to my wife,
inconsiderate, etc., etc. You do not know what you will
be and do if left to the stuff of your own native heart. And I plead with you, my unconverted
single man or unconverted husband, see in this very passage the
desirability of being a Christian, that you might glorify God in
that place of a husband. And to you Christian men among
us, I want to ask you something. As you've been anticipating coming
to this passage, what has been your honest, internal, psychological
response to the anticipation? I'm going to hear what I have
to do. Has it been one of eagerness or has it been one of dread?
Has it been the attitude, oh boy, I bet I'm going to get zapped?
And I'm going to hear more of my duty. And when I hear more
of my duty, I'm going to see my miserable performance. And
I'm either going to run from the searching light of the word,
or I'm going to be buried in a heap of guilt and despondency. Now, only you can answer if that's
been your internal psychological complex coming to the passage. But let me encourage you Christian
men, it ought not to be that. It ought to be this, that whenever
I understand more fully the demands of the Christian life, it is
to the end that I may know more of the glory of the grace and
the strength of Christ to meet that demand. Paul could say in
Philippians 4.13, I can do all things through him who strengthens
me. Work out your own salvation,
Philippians 2.12, with fear and trembling. Why? Verse 13, it
is God who is at work in you both to will and to work for
his good pleasure. The demands of the Christian
life are ultimately demands not upon our pathetically weak and
perverse humanity, but upon the grace of God towards us in Christ. so that when we anticipate understanding
more fully our duty, we ought with hope and confidence anticipate
more measures of grace from Christ to fulfill our duty. And trying
to illustrate this, and again I apologize for my silly illustrations,
but I think a truth illustrated in a silly way is better than
a truth not illustrated if it's a crucial truth. Here's a father
that says to his son, now look, we're going to go outside, And
I'm going to hold a stick at a certain height, and I want
you to jump over it. And the boy jumps over it. He
says, all right, I'm going to raise it six inches. And he says,
but dad, I can't jump the next six inches. He said, I've got
wonderful news for you. I've got a special concoction
called Jolly Jumping Juice. And son, every time I raise the
bar, you drink a pint of Jolly Jumping Juice, and it will give
you the strength you need to jump six inches higher. So he gives him the snort of
jolly jumping juice, and he raises the stick, and lo and behold,
the kid jumps. Goes right over it. He says, oh, dad's kidding
me. There's nothing in this jolly
jumping juice. I just had a little adrenaline
rush. So his dad says, we're going
to raise it six inches more. He says, dad, that's too high.
He says, take another snort of the jolly jumping juice. So he
takes it, and lo and behold, after about three times, you
know what happens? He says, you know, that jolly jumping juice
works. Dad, I'm not fearful of you to
raise the bar, because each time you raise the bar, I see that
that jolly jumping juice really works. And I look forward to
jumping higher, not in my own native jumping strength, but
because of that wonderful jolly jumping juice. Now you say, silly
illustration. I know. You come up with a better
one. I'll use it. Some of you have had a standard
here for what it is to be a husband who pleases God. And up till
now, you thought you could pretty well jump it in your own strength.
But after we study this passage, you're going to see it up here.
That's not a call to go down in a heap of despondency and
run from the standard. You go to the God who sets the
stick at that height and say, you have promised that I can
do all things through Christ who strengthens me, that you
work in me to will and to work for your good pleasure, Lord,
work it in me, so that I will know not only the sufficiency
of your grace, but I'll have sense enough to know that the
standard was far beyond anything I could attain in my own strength,
and all the glory belongs to you. Wouldn't it be a marvelous
thing If three months from now we had a number of wives who
said to their husbands, the way you are dwelling with me according
to knowledge as the weaker vessel, the feminine one, and showing
and giving and conferring honor to me as a joint heir of life,
I can't believe it's you. Wouldn't it be wonderful for
you to say, I can't either, dear? And it ain't me. I am what I
am. by the grace of God. For some
of you right now, there isn't much to cause your wife to hold
her breath and wonder what makes you tick. She knows all too well
what makes you tick. And you and I as husbands ought
so to relate to our wives that they have no explanation for
who and what we are at the grace of God at work in us. And your
background is no excuse. Read chapter 4. When I described
that bunch of men in the room in my introduction, I didn't
pull that out of the stuff of my own head. I paraphrased what
Peter describes as their pre-Christian experience. They were revelers. They were carousers. They were
idolaters. They were drunkards. They were
rotters, as our English friends would say. But the grace of God
transformed them. And Peter says, here's the standard.
But don't look to your own strength in your own spindly legs. You
look to God in Christ for the grace to be that kind of a man. Well, so much then for the subjects
of this divine directive. Now we come to the substance
of this directive. You husbands, in like manner,
dwell with your wives according to knowledge. Giving honor unto
the woman is unto the weaker vessel. as being also joint heirs
of the grace of life, to the end that your prayers be not
hindered." Now, as I attempt to unpack the substance of this
divine directive, I need to pause and address, first of all, one
issue of translation, and then one issue of grammar. I must
do it, or I can't preach with a good conscience the way I believe
the text ought to be preached and expounded. The translation
issue is this. The old American Standard, the
new King James Version, the NIV, and a number of other translations
would get the impression that when Peter wrote, what he did
is he gave two basic directives. The two basic directives, back
to back, are dwell and give honor. You see that? In your translation,
that's what you see. You husbands, in like manner,
dwell The New King James says, with them, the old American standard,
with your wives in italics, according to knowledge, giving honor. So
the two things are put back to back, dwell and give honor, and
then they are buttressed by two reasons, as unto the weaker vessel
and as being joint heirs of the grace of life. Capstone motivation
goes over both directives with those two reasons attached, namely,
that your prayers be not hindered. Now were I to preach the passage
using that translation and that structure, I would not be teaching
error. But I don't believe I would be
as true to the mind of the Spirit of God as expressed in the way
Peter wrote it. Rather, in the way that the New
American Standard renders it, this is what Peter wrote. I give
you now the New American Standard translation. You husbands live
with your wives in an understanding way as with a weaker vessel,
since she is a woman, semicolon, and grant her honor as a fellow
heir of the grace of life. Did you see the difference? There
are two directives, but after the first, a reason is given
in the as clause. You husbands in like manner dwell
with your wives according to knowledge as unto the weaker
vessel, giving honor unto the woman as also joint heir of the
grace of life. So it's not as though we have
two duties undergirded by two reasons, but we have a strand
of duty buttressed by a reason or a peculiar focus of that duty,
then a second duty buttressed by another rationale, a reason
for that duty or a peculiar focus of the husband's thinking as
he performs that duty and over it all this crowning motivation
that your prayers be not hindered. So I'm going to preach the text
that way and I want you to know why I was doing it and you Greek
students will see that immediately if you have your testament on
your laps or you consult it when you go home. Now one issue of
grammar The Greek students will also discover that the two strands
of the duty, dwelling with and giving honor, are not imperatives. They are present participles.
Yet all the translations translate them as imperatives. Why? Well,
there are good and compelling reasons, and I commend to you
Selwyn's treatment of those reasons, pages 467 to 488, for you exegetes
and for you that have an interest in these things. But suffice
it to say, there are good reasons for regarding these present participles
as having the weight and the thrust of imperatives. Well,
that takes care of the translational concern and the grammatical concern. Now we come to the substance
of the directives, and this morning we'll only have time to take
the first, the duty to dwell with one's wife. You husbands,
in like manner, dwell with your wives according to knowledge
as unto the weaker vessel, the wifely one or the feminine one. Now as I attempt to unpack this
directive, note with me first the nature of this duty. The
verb to dwell together with, as so many of Peter's words,
is found only here in the New Testament. And it comes from
two words, oikeo, oikos, house, oikeo, to be housed, to be domiciled,
and then a prefix, which means to be domiciled together. So
the etymology of the word and its general use in the Greek
translation of the Old Testament speaks of being domicile together,
people living together. Now sometimes it has the more
restricted sense of a man and a woman cohabiting with the focus
upon marital sexual intimacy. Some commentators say that is
its precise significance here, and they interpret, expound,
and apply the passage in the light of that more restricted
sense. But there are several usages of this word in the Greek
translation of the Old Testament that indicate the word has a
much broader significance, and unless context demands it, we
ought to give it its broader significance. It is speaking
of the full spectrum of what's involved in a man and a woman
being domiciled together as husband and as wife. It points to the
close habitual associations of married people in all of its
departments and in all of its aspects. So the nature of the
duty, the first thing these men would hear when the epistle was
read to them is, you husbands be dwelling together. It doesn't
say with your wives, that's assumed. That's why it's in italics in
the old American standard and in the New King James, with them
in italics. It's understood. You are dwelling
together with your wives. Now very interestingly, though
that's the heart of the nature of the duty, to dwell together
with them, John Brown, the Scottish commentator, underscores what
he feels are some very strong secondary emphases in Peter's
use of this text, of this word, that Peter is underscoring the
fact that married men are supposed to dwell together with their
wives, and under ordinary circumstances, not with their in-laws. He says,
if a man is to leave father and mother and cleave to his wife,
then under ordinary circumstances he ought to leave and be domiciled
with his wife. It makes the observation that
common sense and certain biblical passages and observation underscore
that generally speaking there will be tremendous marital tensions
unless the husband and the wife are dwelling together in a way
that reflects the fact that the husband has left father and mother
And by implication, the wife has left her father and mother,
and they are establishing this new unit under God. And then
he goes on to go after what was a real problem in his day. People
who married and then never were with their wives, who had a business
that they knew before they were married, would take them away
for months at a time. And John Brown makes the observation,
unless there is some unusual duty, that would include the
military and certain forms of shipping, employment, etc., that
a man ought not to marry if he cannot dwell with his wife. And
I think he has a point. But whether Peter had that in
mind, I'm not sure, but I think it's worthy of being mentioned
particularly in the climate of our society with the dual career
mentality, neither one of which should be disturbed by a marriage
contract. And that to me is part of the
relevance of this passage. You think of marriage, you think
in terms of the commitment that means you dwell together. There
is meaningful marital intimacy being domiciled together. And furthermore, for any husband
who does not find being together his delight and his desire, who's
more comfortable being off with the boys, being off pursuing
this hobby or this particular recreation or sport, something
is bad wrong in that marriage. The duty of husbands is to dwell
together with them. That's the nature of the duty.
Now, secondly, note the measure or the standard for this duty. Dwell with according to knowledge. And that preposition kata means
according to, the standard of. That's why I've used the word,
the measure or standard, that which corresponds with something. And he says you are to dwell
with your wife. according to, corresponding to,
with reference to, knowledge. Now, several modern translations
render the passage, dwell with your wives in an understanding
way. Well, that captures some of it.
But Peter used the word gnosis, dwell with them according to
knowledge. In other words, he says to these
husbands, you must have a mind enlightened by the truth. Now, knowledge of what? Peter
doesn't tell us. He points in the direction, as
we shall see in the latter part of this phrase, but at this point
he doesn't give an explicit identification of the knowledge. But from the
analogy of Scripture, surely we understand that it is knowledge
that is true knowledge. That is, knowledge derived from
the word of the living God. Knowledge that would fit the
directive of Romans 12.2, be not conformed to this world.
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove
what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Knowledge
of God's design and purpose for the institution of marriage,
not the latest theories of marriage gleaned from the experts, and
certainly not the knowledge of marriage gleaned from your idolatrous
pagan background, you husbands dwell with your wives according
to knowledge, true knowledge, knowledge derived from God's
revelation of his mind and of his will. Whatever that means,
it means that no man can be or begin to be a competent husband
who is mentally lazy. He has got to be on a constant
quest for knowledge. This is a present participle
with imperatival pressure, and it is to be a constant dwelling
according to knowledge, so that the acquisition of the knowledge
essential to my being the husband I ought to be is not static. I never get enough and can coast.
but I am to be continually growing in that knowledge." And then,
from this matter of the knowledge, he says, thirdly, the primary
focus of concern in this duty. The duty? Dwell with them. The
measure or standard? According to knowledge. And now
here's where the translation comes in. As unto the weaker
vessel, a better rendering as unto a weaker vessel, the feminine
one. That is, husbands must dwell
with their wives with an ever-growing knowledge of who their wives
are in their created identity as the weaker vessel. That is,
in their distinct femininity. And Peter uses another word that
I've translated femininity or the feminine one found only here
in the New Testament. Now let's unpack this for a few
moments. The word vessel. That may be offensive to some
of you. I don't like being called a vessel. I'm a woman. Well don't
be offended. It's not a pejorative term. It's
not demeaning. It's used of all people in general.
We read it in Romans 9 this morning. God makes some vessels of mercy,
some are vessels of destruction. So there it refers to all human
beings. They are vessels. It is used
of the male gender. Acts 9.15, of Paul, the Lord
says to Ananias, you can go ahead and go in there and take care
of things. You don't need to be afraid of
him. He is a chosen, here's our word, chosen vessel unto me. Now certainly that was not demeaning,
degrading of Paul. He's a chosen vessel. I've set
my love upon him. I've just subdued his proud pharisaic
heart. I've conferred my grace upon
him. I'm going to make him my servant to carry my name to the
Gentiles. Nothing demeaning. He's a chosen
vessel unto me. So it points to our existence
as created, and as created, dependent and made of fragile fabric. This is the word Paul uses in
2 Corinthians 4-7 when he says, we have the treasure in earthen
vessels, that the exceeding greatness of the power may be of God and
not of ourselves. So when he says, now you husbands,
you are to dwell with your wives. You're to dwell according to
a standard of knowledge, and that knowledge is to have a peculiar
focus upon the reality of what they are as the weaker vessel,
the feminine one. Vessel simply means what she
is as created and fragile. But now he says, the weaker vessel,
and here he uses a comparative word. Now think for a minute,
if he says the weaker comparative, whatever it's being compared
to is also weak. I give you two very flimsy reeds,
and I say, here are two weak reeds, which of them is the weaker? And so you put some pressure.
Oh, you say, this is the weaker one. So men, you can't go around,
pop your chest out and say, I'm the strong one. No, God says
you're weak. She's weaker. But you're both in the same category.
Weaker and weak. So again, women, don't... And
it's amazing how people who've got a controversy with God will
finally say, ah, see there, Peter's a misogynist, just like Paul,
putting down women, calling them vessels and calling them weaker.
Well, back off a little bit and let God speak and let God say
what He means and mean what He says, and God's not saying anything
demeaning. But he does say she is, compared
to the man, she is the weaker vessel. Now, the $64 question,
in what way is she weaker? He doesn't tell us. Remember,
he's putting the whole duty of husbands in a nutshell, so he
can't go off to rabbit trails and explain everything. But when
we study our Bibles, and when we rightly read what is called
general revelation, what God's revealed of himself in his created
order, there is no indication that the woman is weaker in her
intellectual strength. None whatsoever. Recent studies
have shown you women, on the whole, have 15% less gray matter
than we men have. But because you test out just
as smart in any category, you've got better gray matter cells
than we do. You're getting more for your
money. Right? If you've got a car that can
go as fast and as far as mine, and takes less gas, you've got
a better engine. You get more mass per gallon
to go as fast and as far. So women have 15% less brain
mass, but they can do more with what they've got. In all seriousness,
there's nothing to indicate that women are intellectually inferior. So when Peter said, as unto a
weaker vessel, there's no indication that he's speaking of her intellectual
strength, nor of her moral courage. her moral courage. In this very
passage, he's talking to women in all their vulnerability who
have unconverted husbands, the latter part of verse 1 and on
to verse 2. And what does he say of these
women? He says that these women, in that vulnerability, even with
husbands who obey not the word, they are to have the moral courage
to embrace their God-given role. And all women in their place
of vulnerability, the capstone exhortation to them in verse
6 was, if you do well and are not put in fear by any terror.
He appeals to them to be morally courageous. And scripture indicates
that women can demonstrate tremendous moral courage. Just the fact
that they bear the children. A lot of men faint. They're going
to be the big shot coach to their wives in delivery. And the poor
doctor has to carry them out. Down they go. So there's no indication
that women are the weaker vessel in terms of moral courage or
in terms of spiritual stature. Read your Bible and women of
tremendous stature. This epistle in that sense, is
gender neutral in terms of the blessings of God's grace upon
his people. They come equally to men and
women in Christ. There is neither male nor female.
In what sense, then, is she the weaker vessel? Well, let me suggest
that I believe the heart of understanding this is one of the reasons Peter
used the word vessel to point to created identity. And when
we go back to the very act of God in creation, He constituted
the woman. That's why Peter uses this strange
word. Dwell with your wives according
to knowledge, as with a weaker vessel, the feminine one. There is something in her very
identity as the feminine one that constitutes her the weaker
vessel. And I suggest it's two things.
She is physically weaker and she is positionally weaker. She
is physically weaker. Now does that mean you cannot
find any woman who is stronger than any given man? Of course
not. But biologically, the way God
has constituted maleness and femaleness, the male is the stronger
of the two. And it's been interesting to
me to watch the development of the women's basketball league. And you see these women now,
6'2", 6'3", some of them 6'7". But while they've stretched up
to 6'2", 6'3", 6'7", there was a time, I can remember, when
if you were a professional basketball player and you were 6'10", you
were the giant among the pygmies. And now, I mean, you've got guards
that are 6'8", and 6'9". And if you're going to be a power
forward, you've got to be 6'10", to 7 feet or more. And any center
that's making, you've got them all the way up to 7'6". And as you compare them, The
woman is the weaker. Some of you are aware of the
obsession with female bodybuilding. I don't care how many steroids
some of these women pump and how much iron they pump, they're
never going to have 54-inch chest and 20-inch biceps like the male
counterpart in the body-worshipping bodybuilding. Why? Because God made it. And as I
was reflecting on this, I went back to Genesis chapter 2. And
I want you to turn there for a moment, because I think it's
critical that I at least get you thinking as to whether or
not the weaker vessel focuses upon primarily and fundamentally
physically weaker. In Genesis, you remember God
put Adam down in the garden to keep it, brings the animals before
him to name them. And Adam is engaged for at least
a period of time in the task assigned by God, but there was
no helper answering to his need. And God says he would make one
answering to his need. And then God brings the woman
to the man, and after he awakens Adam from his state of being
anesthetized, we read verse 23 of Genesis 2. And the man said,
This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall
be called woman, Isha, because she was taken out of man, Ish. Now think with me for a moment.
Adam had already seen and named the major classes of the animals. Chapter 2, verse 18 and following. Now, if God caused something
to pass before Adam that was in any way a counterpart of the
modern elephant, can you use your imagination with me and
try to think how Adam might have reacted to that elephant? When
he saw it in its massive, ponderous essence as an elephant, do you
think he would have had any notion? That elephant is such a marvelous
beast, displaying aspects of the power of God and the magnitude
and the greatness of God, and so thrilled with what he sees
of God's handiwork in the elephant that he jumps onto its leg and
tries to dance with an elephant? Yes, Adam would have had more
sense than to try to dance with an elephant. However, he was
going to express his joy in the handiwork of God beholding an
elephant There would have been something wholesomely intimidating
about the elephant. And however he related to it,
however he expressed his joy, it would have been commensurate
with what the elephant was in terms of its imposing physical
presence. I said, Pastor, it's not safe
to leave you alone in your study. Your head is very unsafe. Now,
you stay with me. You stay with me. And then the
hippopotamus. Think of some of those animals
that are massive and intimidating to a human being. No sin, there's
nothing that in any way would cause Adam to feel the animal
would harm him. But do you see that he could not help by observing
that animal with a view to giving it a name that is assigning its
significance in God's world or discovering and articulating
its significance in God's world by God's design. Adam would not
have responded to his joy of discovery by wanting to dance
or embrace one of those huge behemoths. Now come to this section
where he wakes up. He's seen all the animals. Maybe
when he saw a monkey and named it, he put the monkey on his
shoulder. Maybe he even danced with the monkey. and rejoiced
in the wisdom of God in making this little monkey that brought
him such joy and laughter, etc. What do you think Adam's response
was when he saw the woman? And he says, this is now bone
of my bones and flesh of my flesh. What did God bring to him? A
creature larger and stronger than he? before which he would
feel an instinctive sense, I must follow her leadership, submit
to her strength, come under the protection of her strength. No, I'm rather inclined to believe
Adam threw his arms around her and danced with joy, seeing his
greater physical strength as a deposit of God to envelop and
protect and to rejoice in this one who was now bone of his bone,
flesh of his flesh. And when Eve looks upon Adam,
she knows that there is, in the very way God made him, an element
of size and strength and masculine identity that does not intimidate
her because She is bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh, but
towards which she's instinctively drawn as that strength under
which she will find safety and protection and guidance. God is programmed into the male
and the female as a general pattern genetically, even in the animal
world, that the woman is the weaker vessel. So, my assertion
is when Peter says, as unto a weaker vessel, it's pointing to her
physical weakness and then her positional weakness. From the
very beginning, the woman, 1 Corinthians 11 says, was made for the man. He is in the position of divinely
appointed headship and government and direction. And in that sense,
she is weaker. She is vulnerable to his good
or to his poor leadership. She is in her position of submission
in the weaker position. And that is not demeaning. As
one commentator beautifully stated, is it demeaning? that the vine
is weaker than the tree around which it wraps itself? Is it
demeaning to say that the rose is weaker than the thorny stem
on which it blooms? Of course not. And it's not demeaning. It is part of the glory of the
woman that she is the weaker vessel. And here, Peter adds
this little phrase, the feminine or the wifely one, I believe
to underscore that this is part of the very essence of her femininity. And he's saying to these men,
dwell with your wives according to knowledge, as being what God
has made them, the weaker vessel, the feminine one. You husbands
recognize what they are in the creative wisdom and purpose of
God. They are the weaker vessel, weaker
physically, weaker positionally, and in the light of that you
are to dwell with them. So, in summary and concluding
application, As we consider the first strand of the divine mandate
to husbands, let me say we can't escape the facts of what God
has done in his own creative order. We can't escape them.
We can defy them or try to. We can curse them. We can say,
I don't like them, but we can't change them. And as we saw before
sin, Adam's strength was no threat to Eve. Eve does not feel threatened
by that strength. Adam has no desire to use his
physical strength to abuse his wife, but to give her responsible,
loving leadership that together they may fulfill their God-given
task of being fruitful and multiplying and replenishing and subduing
the earth, a mandate given to both of them in the original
creation. But what has happened with sin?
Sin in man causes him to abuse his place of relative strength
so that man's physical strength becomes the instrument with which
he becomes a predator toward women. And men, far more than
women, are guilty of rape and of physical abuse. Why? Sin has so perverted what God
has given that man's strength now takes advantage of the weaker
woman, and what is true physically is true positionally. Men turn
their position of responsible, loving, servant leadership into
tyranny and abuse and exploitation and machoism. That's what men
do because of sin, but women are equally sinners, and what
do they do? They try to deny that they are the weaker vessel.
They sing their song, anything you can do, I can do better.
Anything you can do. You got Professor Higgins saying
to Eliza, why can't a woman be like a man? Well, she can't be
unless she kills what she is as a woman. Dear women, you're
the weaker vessel. Try to be anything other than
that, you cease to be a woman. You cease to be a woman. That's
what God's made you, but sin is so perverted. Women, that
they want to be something other. Some of it is out of a motive
of protection. They've been exploited, yes.
The man's relative strength has been turned against them physically
and positionally, yes. But in this very passage, what
does Peter say to these Christian women? The way of redemptive
grace is not to throw over who and what you are. but to embrace
it from the heart, even when the husband obeys not the word. Manifest the glory of embracing
who and what you are as a woman, wives. Be subject to your husbands. Take your place as the weaker
vessel. Positionally, I've assigned him
to lead and for you to follow. But here's the wonder of God's
grace. It comes and takes the man. who natively and sinfully
abuses his strength and now enables him to take that very strength
in service for the well-being of the woman. His physical strength
now to bear burdens that she ought not to bear, to carry loads
from the car into the kitchen that she ought not to carry,
to protect her, to walk between her and the curb on the street,
These symbols that people call, ah, just meaningful traditions,
no. They are the sacramental evidences of male strength committed
to the protection of the weaker vessel. The opening of the door,
may I help you with that load of groceries. What are those
things? Just banal courtesies, no. They're evidence, they should
be in Christian men, that the grace of God has caused us to
see our greater physical strength is there to ennoble and to take
the place of loving service to our wives, not submission to,
but service to. And then our position. Grace
so works in a man that he does not see his position of headship
as his little unrivaled throne to call the shots and to bully
his wife and preach submission to her, but under Christ to seek
to administer the home and all that transpires in it in a way
that glorifies God and enables his wife to come to her full
potential in Jesus Christ. Notice I've not cross-referenced
anything with Ephesians 5 and it hadn't been easy, but Ephesians
5 is the extended commentary on what that means. That's what
grace does for a man and what's it do for the woman? It enables
her to glory in the fact that she has the weaker vessel. She
doesn't resent it. She's not irritated with it.
She's not uncomfortable with it. And she glories in her distinctive
feminine identity. Physically, she doesn't try to
look like a man. She gladly wears and adorns herself
in a way that screams, I'm a woman, and I'm glad of it. Isn't that
where you are, women? Is that where you are? I hope
you are. The same way I hope you men say, I will dress and
carry myself and shake hands in a way that makes it plain
in the world, I'm glad to be a man. And I'm willing to bear
the burden and the dignity of my manhood. The woman then embraces
her place as weaker physically, weaker positionally, and the
grace of God gives us a little taste of what Eden must have
been like. before the intrusion of sin.
And I want to say a word, and I trust you bear with me. I want
to say a word to husbands. This is your duty. By divine
mandate, dwell together according to knowledge, knowledge focused
on her identity as the weaker vessel. Let me ask you, Do you
give any serious thought and prayer to this issue of asking
God, Lord, give me the knowledge necessary to dwell with my wife
in such a way that it's patent to her and to all who see me
in relationship to her that I understand who she is as the weaker vessel,
the feminine one? Oh, I didn't have that in my
background, neither did these men. I don't have any examples
around me, neither did they. But God calls you to this, and
you will see tonight that crowning motivation, if you're a true
Christian, ought to scare you witless. You want heaven shut
to your prayers? Then you be indifferent to this
directive, to dwell with your wife according to knowledge,
as with a weaker vessel, the feminine one. And God says you
can pray on in vain and your prayers will not be heard. Your
prayers will be hindered. This is serious stuff, men. We
can't take this lightly. And I want to bring a closing
word to you, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers. Are you
imparting to your sons these perspectives by example, by instruction,
by regulating their conduct with their sisters? You fathers, don't
laugh when your sons are gruff and insensitive to your daughters.
That's the way they're going to treat their wives. Your home is to be the crucible
of producing men who can dwell with their wives according to
knowledge as unto the weaker vessel, the feminine one. Sit
your sons down and tell them what it means that the woman
is the weaker vessel, and that in the light of it she's not
to be despised or demeaned, but as we'll see tonight, she's to
be given honor. We're not going to get much help.
in the fabric of society, there was a time when there was a stock
of common grace where in many places a young man growing up
simply absorbing the climate of society, picking up the manners
and the mannerisms and the way things were handled in general
social interaction, he would learn something of what it is
to dwell with a wife according to knowledge as with a weaker
vessel, the feminine one. But that stock is well nigh all
been spent. And there is more and more a
wretched, horrible, God-defying, crippling stock of aggressive
feminism, of wretched, self-centered machoism, and every aggravated
expression of what sin does to unmanned men and to unwomen women. And if we would have as a congregation
any kind of credibility as being part of the new back to 2, 11,
and 12, a lifestyle in which there is a validation of the
gospel, how critical it is that we learn what this is and live
in the light of it and pass it on to our children. And my final
word is to you girls and young women, what are you going to
look for in that man? You look for some indication
that he's at least beginning to understand who and what you
are as the weaker vessel. and that he's determined to relate
to you in a way that makes you not merely reluctantly accepted
of that identity, but to glory in that identity and to know
you're going to feel safe more fully embracing that identity
under his leadership and under his guidance. You got what I'm
saying? You single gals? You hear me?
Both ears? I don't care if he can sing like Pavarotti, and
hit home runs like Mark McQuire and Sammy Sosa, and dunk the
ball like Michael Jackson, and make bucks like Bill Gates, if
he doesn't show that he's begun to understand what it is to dwell
with a woman according to knowledge is the weaker vessel, the feminine
one, run from the bum. And tell him come back and look
at you a second time when he begins to learn what this means. Why do I say that? I want you
single the rest of your days? No. But I don't want you married
to someone that won't dwell with you according to knowledge. Won't
dwell with you as the weaker vessel. The feminine one. Let's pray. Father, we're so thankful for
your word. That word which is a lamp to
our feet and a light to our pathway. and oh how we pray that you would
take this portion of your word and write it upon our hearts
with power. Oh Lord, we feel at times like
the little boy sticking his finger in the leaking dike with the
whole sea pressing itself in upon us. Have mercy upon us and
help us, oh God, stem the tide of the horrible overturning of
these biblical perspectives in the past generation. Will you
not establish again these perspectives in the hearts of your people
that you would so work that by your grace in this place these
things would be evident in the husbands who dwell with their
wives according to knowledge, a knowledge that respects what
they are as the weaker vessel by your creative design? We pray
for those, our Father, who have very little acquaintance with
these matters, to whom these things may sound very strange. We pray that you would cause
them to have an inquisitive mind that will be driven to your word
and that you would help them as they seek your face and read
the scriptures to be brought to an understanding and embrace
of your truth. Dismiss us now with your blessing
and continue with us throughout this day. We ask in Jesus' name. Amen.