Use of the Tongue #5

Q: What does the Bible say about gossiping and tail-bearing speech?

The Bible condemns gossiping and tail-bearing speech as being sinful acts that intrude on others' lives and foster discord. Scripture clearly identifies gossiping, meddling, and tail-bearing as sins that defile the tongue. James 3:1-12 emphasizes the potentially destructive nature of the tongue, describing it as a fire that can set the whole body in turmoil. Additionally, 1 Timothy 5:13 details how idle individuals become busybodies, speaking things that are not necessary. Likewise, 1 Peter 4:15 warns against suffering as a meddler in others' matters, showcasing that these behaviors are not merely social vices but serious spiritual failings that contradict the call to love and respect one another in the body of Christ.

Q: How do we know that gossiping is a sin according to the Bible?

The Bible consistently warns against gossiping and tells us it is a sin through various passages that explicitly identify it as behavior to avoid. Gossiping is labeled a sin in multiple biblical texts. For example, 2 Thessalonians 3:11 refers to people who do not work but are busybodies, suggesting that their intrusive speech is sinful behavior intertwined with laziness. Similarly, in 1 Timothy 5:13, Paul describes younger widows who, out of idleness, engage in gossip and meddlesome actions. Furthermore, Proverbs 20:19 instructs not to keep company with someone who is a tale-bearer. Collectively, these passages provide a robust biblical framework that identifies gossip as sin, serving as a serious warning to believers about the influence and consequences of misuse of the tongue.

Q: Why is controlling our speech important for Christians?

Controlling our speech is crucial as it reflects our spiritual maturity and commitment to God's commandments. The importance of controlling our speech is deeply rooted in Christian doctrine, as one's words can reveal one's heart. In James 3, the tongue is likened to a ship's rudder, directing the course of our lives. The way we use our words can either build up or tear down, as Proverbs 18:21 indicates that 'death and life are in the power of the tongue.' For Christians, speech should honor God and edify others, aligning with Ephesians 4:29, which instructs believers to speak that which is good for building up, rather than allowing corrupt speech to pass from our lips. Thus, reflecting on our speech is not just about manners; it is a reflection of our obedience to God's call to live holy lives.

Q: What practical steps can Christians take to avoid gossip?

Christians can avoid gossip by setting boundaries in conversations, seeking accountability, and focusing on edifying speech. To combat the sin of gossip, Christians should take proactive steps that include setting boundaries on conversations and being intentional about what they discuss. One practical approach is to establish accountability by engaging in prayer before and after conversations, asking God for help to maintain purity in speech. Ephesians 4:29 encourages believers to speak only what will build others up, hence focusing discussions on edifying topics. Additionally, distancing oneself from those who frequently engage in gossip can help mitigate temptations. Ultimately, these measures reflect a commitment to honoring God and advancing personal holiness in the use of our tongues.

The following sermon was delivered
on Sunday morning, December 15, 2002, at Trinity Baptist Church
in Montville, New Jersey. I would ask that you turn with
me to the epistle of James, the epistle of James, and follow
as I read the first twelve verses of chapter three. James chapter 3 at verse 1. Be not many of you teachers,
my brethren, knowing that we shall receive heavier judgment. For in many things we all stumble. If any stumbles not in word,
the same is a perfect man able to bridle the whole body also. Now if we put the horses' bridles
into their mouths that they may obey us, we turn about their
whole body also. Behold, the ships also, though
they are so great and driven by rough winds, are yet turned
about by a very small rudder, wherever the impulse of the steersman
wills. So the tongue also is a little
member, and boasts great things. Behold, how great a forest is
kindled by how small a match! And the tongue is a fire. The
world of iniquity among our members is the tongue, which defiles
the whole body, and sets on fire the wheel of nature, and is set
on fire by hell. For every kind of beasts and
birds, of creeping things and things in the sea, is tamed,
and hath been tamed by mankind. But the tongue can no man tame. It is a restless evil. It is
full of deadly poison. Therewith bless me the Lord and
Father. And therewith we curse men who
are made after the likeness of God. Out of the same mouth comes
forth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought
not so to be. Does the fountain send forth
from the same opening sweet water and bitter? Can a fig tree, my
brethren, yield olives or a vine figs? Neither can salt water
yield sweet. Now once again, let us pray and
God will undertake for us in the study of His Word. Once again, our Father, we acknowledge
that apart from the present ministry of the Holy Spirit, Our efforts
both to preach and teach and to receive to profit your word
are futile. We remember the words of our
Lord Jesus who said, apart from me you can do nothing. Help us to truly believe that,
and in the faith of that, to come to You even in this moment
with a deep sense of that desperation of faith that acknowledges we
need You, Lord, we must have Your help, and we pray that it
shall be given to us according to Your promise as we seek it
through Christ our Lord. Amen. Now it is not very flattering
or supportive of a positive self-image for us to be told that we possess
a member of our bodies which is nothing less than a veritable
world of iniquity, a member which is as lethal as an uncontrolled
fire, and its fiery lethality is ignited by hell itself. It is even less flattering to
be told that it's easier to tame a ravenous lion, a free-spirited
eagle, or a venomous snake than to tame this little member of
our bodies that is nestled between the upper and lower jaw. However, The biblical testimony
asserts these very facts. Therefore, it's important for
us to think biblically on this matter of the use of our tongues. And we come this morning to our
fifth message in this vital theme, the use of our tongues. In the
first message, I laid before you five categories of biblical
truth which demonstrate the crucial importance of this subject. Considering the use of our tongues
for a few messages is not fiddling while Rome burns. It may be the
means to keep us from burning forever in hell itself. For if any man seems to be religious
and bridles not his own tongue, but deceives himself, this religion,
his religion, is vain. It is a nothing. and it will
never deliver him from the just judgment of Almighty God. In the next three messages I
sought to identify three of the major sins of the tongue which
we must seek to avoid and mortify by the grace and power of God. The sin of lying, the sin of
corrupt speech, and the sin of abusive speech. Now this morning
we focus our attention on one more species or distinct category
of the sins of the tongue identified and clearly condemned by the
scriptures, namely, the sin of gossipy, intrusive, meddlesome,
tail-bearing speech. And I've used all of those words
because each has a different nuance, but together they capture
the witness of the Holy Scriptures concerning this basic category
of the sin of the tongue. We're going to examine the sin
of gossipy, intrusive, meddlesome, tail-bearing speech. And in thinking
our way through this issue, we shall do so under four headings.
Heading number one, first, the sin biblically identified. The sin biblically identified. When I describe this sin of the
tongue with such words as gossipy, intrusive, meddlesome, tale-bearing
speech, what biblical data have mandated such words? Well I want
you to consider with me three key passages which identify this
specific sin. And the first is found in 2 Thessalonians
and chapter 3. 2 Thessalonians and chapter 3. As I almost invariably do, I'll
say a word about the context. One of the dangers of topical
preaching in which proof texts are brought forward is that often
proof texts are brought forward with no relationship to context
and therefore are twisted out of their God-intended meaning. And so I say just a word about
the context. Paul has given a command in verse
6 of chapter 3, Now we command you, brethren, in the name of
the Lord Jesus Christ, that you withdraw yourselves from every
brother that walks disorderly, and not after the tradition which
they received of us. Here is a clear apostolic command
to the Church of the Thessalonians to exercise a form of church
discipline upon brothers who are walking in a manner described
as disorderly, a manner contrary to the apostolic tradition delivered
to the Thessalonians. And then he focuses upon the
specific manifestation of this disorderliness in the following
verses. And that specific manifestation
of disorderliness was a willful refusal to work. A willful refusal
to engage in meaningful, gainful, God-honoring employment. There's an indication that some
of it may have been connected to a pseudo-spiritual notion
of the best way to prepare for the Lord's return is not to work,
but to look up into the sky and then to go about from house to
house begging from your brethren. But whether that's so or not,
it is clear that refusal to work is the specific aspect of disorderliness
that Paul identifies in this passage. He clearly states in
10b, if any will not work, neither let him eat. Then he goes on
to identify a sin that is a handmaiden to this pattern of laziness in
verse 11. For we hear of some that walk
among you disorderly, that work not at all, but are Busybodies. They do not work, but they are
busybodies. And it is this word, busybodies,
that identifies an aspect of this kind of sinful speech that
I have called gossipy, intrusive, meddlesome, tail-bearing speech. Now, from that brief word of
the context, we now seek to identify the meaning of this word. Now,
in the original, there is a clear play on words. While they do
not work, they walk about among the people of God, talking about
things that are none of their business. Hendrickson beautifully
captures in English the sense of this play on words, and he
translates it this way, they are not busy workers, but they
are busy bodies. We might go on to say, by that
play on words he's indicating, that though they do not busy
themselves with their hands in gainful employment, they busy
themselves with their tongues in destructive speech. And the
only use of this verb in the New Testament is here, but it
is used enough in secular literature of the first century Greco-Roman
world that we can ascertain with some accuracy that that is the
significance of this word. John Gill, the old Baptist commentator,
gives a very helpful description of the meaning of this word and
the significance of the activity condemned by the apostle, and
I quote, but they are busy bodies, though they work not at all at
their own business, They are very busy in other men's matters
and have the affairs of kingdoms and cities and towns and neighborhoods
and churches and families upon their hands, which they thrust
themselves into and intermeddle with, though they have no business
at all with them. They wander from house to house
and curiously inquire into personal and family affairs, are tattlers
full of prate and talk, and, like the Athenians, spend all
their time in telling or hearing new things. And they also speak
things which they should not. They carry tales from one to
another, and privately whisper things to the disadvantage of
their fellow creatures and fellow Christians, and backbite and
slander them. These are the pests of nations
and neighborhoods, the plague of churches, and the scandal
of human nature." The old hyper-Calvinist John Gill has nailed the issue
very clearly. This is what Paul is condemning. He says that the handmaiden of
the sin of their willful refusal to work is that they They are
busybodies, and he identifies this sin as meddlesome, intrusive
speech, speech in which they intrude themselves into the affairs
of others that are none of their business. Then there is a second
passage that clearly identifies this category of sin. It is 1
Timothy chapter 5 and verse 13. 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse
13. Remember what I'm seeking to
do is to give a biblical identification of the sin. The second passage
is 1 Timothy 5 and verse 13. We read, and with all they learn
to be idle, going about from house to house, and not only
idle, but tattlers also, and busybodies, speaking things which
they ought not. Now again, a brief word about
the context. As we recently saw in our consecutive
reading through 1 Timothy, here in this chapter Paul is dealing
with the church's care for its widows. and in the opening verses
he gives general directions for the care of all widows. Then
in verse 9, he focuses upon something that was not the care of all
widows in general, but a specific class within the widows who were
put on some kind of a role. And there's a lot of debate as
to what this was, but apparently those widows who were put on
the role were given full subsidy, were given some kind of specific
responsibilities in the way of service within the church. And
now with respect to that particular category of the widows, he gives
directions. They're to be at least 60 years
of age. They are to have proven Christian
character. And then he tells why he does
not encourage younger widows to be placed on that role. And
in the course of giving his rationale for refusing, verse 11, refusing
the younger widows, that is, refusing them to be put on this
special role of this special category of special widows with
special standards and requirements. He gives in the midst of his
rationale for refusing these younger widows. This is what
happens, Paul says, and with all, they learn to be idle. They learn to be idle. They school themselves in a wretched Efficiency. They become efficient
in idleness. But in their idleness, they learn
to go about from house to house and not only idle, but now notice
the three things that have to do with the tongue. Two nouns,
and then a present participle, which probably summarizes, because
they are tattlers and busybodies, the nouns, the participle, they
are continually speaking things which they ought not. As tattlers
and busybodies, here's what they do. They speak things they ought
not to speak. They speak things that are not
necessary. Well, let's spend a moment on
what these words mean. But they are tattlers. They are
gossips. This is the way some render this
particular word. Again, it is only found here
in the New Testament as a noun. It is found one other place as
a verb. In 3 John 10, John writes about
diatrophies. This man who loves to have preeminence
is casting people out of the church, and then John says, and
he prates about us. with evil words. In other words,
this man diatrophies, runs off at the mouth, speaking nonsense
in the way of accusations concerning the Apostle John. He brings unfounded
charges. I call this the tabloid tongue. Tatlers. Tatlers have a tabloid
tongue. You know what the tabloid tongue
is? Occasionally I go to the CBS that's right up at the end
of our street to pick up my Monday newspapers. As you've heard me
say a number of times, I get a newspaper on Monday, two newspapers,
New York Times and the Star-Ledger. And there on the bottom, a couple
of rows there in the newspaper section, what I've noticed, and
I don't look at them, I don't peruse them, I want nothing to
do with them, but above them are at least ten or twelve tabloids
with their big letters spewing out the latest garbage about
some movie star who's chasing around with someone other than
his wife, some sordid thing. This sick sinkhole of the human
soul that would cause such papers to proliferate, they're not out
there being subsidized. Somebody's making money spewing
out that gossip. And Paul says that these women
have a tabloid tongue. They engage in gossip. And then he says they are busybodies. And this is the noun form of
the verb in 2 Thessalonians. In 2 Thessalonians, Paul says
they engage in this act of being busybodies. Here he uses the
noun. They meddle in affairs that are
none of their legitimate interest. business. They traffic in things
that are none of their God-given duty. So they are gossips, they
have a tabloid tongue, they are busybodies meddling in affairs
that are none of their business, and in so doing they are continually
a present participle, continually speaking things that they ought
not. They are speaking things that
are better left unspoken. They are violating Leviticus
19.16. Thou shalt not go up and down
the land as a tale-bearer. You see, a tale-bearer is a bearer
of a tale. It may well be true. Often it
is unfounded, but may be true. But the sin that is identified
is telling the tale where it's not necessary. And usually with
this activity are the words, have you heard that? Have you
heard this about? Passing on a tale where there
is no biblical duty to convey that tale. No warrant of necessity,
no warrant of edification, no warrant of admonition and exhortation. They become a walking tabloid. They go up and down the land. Here the passage says that these
go about from house to house. They're a walking tabloid. Have you heard? Have you heard
this? Have you heard that? What have you heard about this?
This is the realism of New Testament sins, or sins that cropped up
in New Testament churches in that very church in Ephesus,
founded by the Apostle Paul, recipient of that marvelous letter
that lays out the glorious salvation that is ours in Christ, That
letter that calls us to put off the old man and put on the new,
that letter that calls us to a radically alternative lifestyle
from the world, no longer to walk as the Gentiles walk. In
that setting, Paul had to say, here are women that learn this
unholy as tattlers or gossips, busybodies,
and speaking things that they ought not." Here Patrick Fairbairn
in his commentary has a very helpful little summary of these
three things. The apostle justly regarded it
as a great evil and proof of a frivolous, unsanctified, worldly
spirit that young widows should fall into idol gossiping habits
and unwise in the church to place them in circumstances which would
tempt them into such ways. The latter expression in the
verse merely point to the different, the later expressions merely
point to the different forms which the evil in the case supposed
naturally assumes. They babble out what comes into
their minds, loose talkers, that's the first noun. The second noun,
busybodies, intermeddling with affairs which do not properly
concern them. And then the participial phrase,
speaking things that they ought not. things that were not befitting,
or as it may be explained, caring about reports and saying from
one family to another, and so giving rise to serious misunderstandings,
jealousy, and strife. So that's the second passage
that identifies the sin that I have tried to identify under
this collation of terms. Gossipy. meddlesome, intrusive,
tail-bearing speech. And now we come to the third
passage, 1 Peter, chapter 4. We're just letting the Bible
speak its witness to the fact that this kind of speech is clearly
identified and condemned as sinful in the Word of God. 1 Peter now,
chapter 4, and verse 15. For let none of you suffer as
a murderer, or a thief, or an evildoer, or as a meddler in
other men's matters. Let none of you suffer as a meddler
in other men's matters. Again, a word about the context.
Peter has warned, starting in verse 12 of this chapter, that
though they have already been suffering for the sake of Christ,
more suffering is to come. A fiery trial is already among
them, and it will intensify in the days to come. But now he
says, in the light of that, you need to understand, if you are
reproached for the sake of Christ, you are blessed. The spirit of
glory and of God rests upon you. It is no shameful thing to suffer
for Jesus. It's coming. It's upon you. More
is coming. However, nerve yourself with
this blessed reality. As you are partaker of Christ's
sufferings, you're going to be partaker of His glory. Let every
degree of intense temperature in the heat of opposition remind
you of the glory that is to come. And in pledge of the glory to
come, the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you now, giving
you grace to bear this with balance and with faith and with grace. But then he says, though it is
right and noble to suffer for Christ's sake and for righteousness'
sake, don't let any of you suffer for the opposite. Don't suffer
for the sake of sin. Let none of you suffer as a murderer. or as a thief, or as an evildoer,
and then placed in this list, he put, as a meddler in other
men's matters. Now, here we again have a word
used only here in the New Testament. and very few times in secular
Greek literature. There are times when you have
a word that is called a hapax lagomenon in the New Testament
used only once but you have a number of usage of it in secular Greek
literature of that period and so you're able to ascertain with
some degree of confidence what was in the mind of the author
but not so with this word. Some suggest that Peter coined
it that under the guidance of the Spirit, he may have invented
this word. I've invented some words. When
certain things weren't able to be expressed, I've taken some
words and made my own words out of them. Well, some suggest Peter
may have done this, but it's a compound word made up of two
words, allatrios, which means that which belongs to another,
and episkopos, to look over. And so when you put the two together,
it's looking over the things of another. and hence the translations,
a meddler in other men's matters. And I have found the commentary
of Hebert, one of the more recent commentaries on the book of 1
Peter, very helpful, where he states this. The term may be
understood to mean the unfaithful guardian of goods committed to
him. That's how some understand it. Peter arranged his terms
in a descending order of guilt. The term may designate an activity
that was a definite social nuisance, one that irritated, aroused strong
displeasure, and prompted open hostility. If that's correct,
then the term may well refer to an unwarranted intrusion into
the affairs of others. In the fourth century, Epiphanius
used the exceedingly rare term in the sense of interfering with
someone else's business. Our English versions use a number
of terms to present that basic concept. A troublesome meddler,
the new American standard. One prying into other men's affairs,
Rotherham. interfering in matters which
do not concern Christians, 20th century translation, a busy body
in other men's matters, King James Version. Such a general
meaning seems most probable in the context. So most probably,
Peter is identifying with this word that he may well have coined,
the sin of gossipy, intrusive, meddlesome speech. Becoming someone
who is looking over and inspecting and talking about the affairs
of another in which he has no God-given stewardship to be concerned. Things over which there's a big
sign, M-Y-O-B. You know what that means? Mind your own business, this
person goes around with a big paint can and a six-inch brush,
continually swapping his paint over M-Y-O-B. And making things
his business that are none of his business. This is how this
sin is identified. And let someone think, well,
this is just a New Testament sin. Let me just quote quickly
several verses in the Old Testament that identify this same sin.
I've already quoted Leviticus 19, 16. You shall not go up and
down the land as a tail-bearer. You shall not be the walking
tabloid. Have you heard this? Have you
heard this? Have you heard that? Have you heard this? Do you know?
That's being a walking tablight. God calls it sin. It's being
a tail-bearer. Listen to Solomon in Proverbs
chapter 11 and verse 13. Proverbs 11 and verse 13. And here we're going to look
at just several verses in Proverbs that addresses this sin again
and again. Proverbs 11, 13. He that goes
about as a tail-bearer reveals secrets. But he that is of a
faithful spirit conceals a matter. The tale-bearer is always saying,
did you know? I know, I'm on the inside track.
I'll reveal. I'll be the one who lets you
know. I'll take you in. I'll make you
the special object of this tidbit of knowledge, this juicy bit
of information. He that goes about as a tale-bearer,
goes about. You notice how that emphasis
is found in all those New Testament passages? They go from house
to house. They learn to be idle. Going
about. They walk about, but they don't
work about. The play on words points to that
person in Thessalonica that was very, very active with his feet
and his tongue, but not with his hands. And so the same emphasis
is found here. Proverbs 18 and verse 8. Proverbs
18 and verse 8, the words of a whisperer as dainty morsels,
they go down into the innermost parts. This person always makes
you feel special because they're going to let you in on the secret.
Anyone standing around, they're not going to be part of the in
crowd. They're going to whisper, make you feel very special. You're
the object of having this information that is only reserved for the
in crowd. Proverbs 20 and verse 19, Proverbs
20 and verse 19, he that goes about as a tail-bearer reveals
secrets. Therefore, do not keep company
with him that opens wide his lips. The best thing some of
you could do with this text this morning is break some friendships. The bond of those friendships
is tail-bearing. And if you value your soul, you'll
be prepared to break them. Proverbs 26 and verse 20, our
last text in Proverbs 26 and verse 20. For lack of wood the
fire goes out, and where there's no whisperer, contention ceases. Here's the whisperer throwing
fuel on the fire of agitation with his special bits of information,
with his insights, with his concerns in matters that are none of his
business. Well, these are the key passages
that identify the sin. Now, secondly, having considered
the sin biblically identified, I want you to consider with me
the sin concretely The sin biblically identified?
Yes. Now the sin concretely described. How does the sin of gossipy,
intrusive, meddlesome, tail-bearing speech actually show its colors,
rear its ugly head, leak out its venom, and spread its poison? Well, let me give you three examples.
Alright? This is not exhausting. But I
don't want you to think in generalities. I want you to see the thing as
it works itself out, and I hope in so doing, You'll see yourself
in the mirror. Here's the first way. When we
aggressively seek to discuss with people things in their lives
which are none of our legitimate business. When we aggressively
seek to discuss with people things that are none of our legitimate
business. You see, one of the manifestations
of our Adamic nature is our idle curiosity regarding others. This is to have tabloid ears. Tabloid ears are part of our
Adamic nature. That's why the tabloids are so
popular in the fallen world. People want to know the juicy
tidbits. that are really none of their
business, none of their business whatsoever. What business is
it for a housewife to know who's shacking up the coup out in Hollywood? That's not her legitimate business,
not your legitimate business, not my legitimate business. But
this sin manifests itself when we aggressively seek to discuss
with people things in their lives that are none of our business.
We pry and probe into people's financial affairs, their romantic
interests, their marital secrets. We ask embarrassing questions.
How are you able to afford a new car? That's none of your business. But I know that's gone on among
Trinity Church members. Someone having the nerve to come
up to someone who got a new car. How are you able to afford a
new car? That's none of your business. Unless you know they
stole it and you need to hand them over to the police. It is
none of your cotton-picking business how they got the new car. Why
are you asking? I'll tell you why you're asking.
It's that Adamic desire to pry into stuff that is none of our
business. Did you plan this pregnancy?
Or did it just happen? That's none of your business.
That is none of your business. If it's kid number 10, it's none
of your business. If it's kid number 10, it's none
of your business. What makes you think you have
a right to probe into matters of personal nature? Well, it
varies with certain relationships. I may have no business generically
asking certain questions of you as my brothers and sisters. You
come for a counseling session in an area where I've got to
know things to give you counsel. Now it is my legitimate business
to ask, you see? But unless in the will of God
I'm put in such a relationship of counselor, of physician, employer,
whatever it is that gives me a legitimate basis to probe into
areas, I must never forget the principle, as you would that
others do unto you, even so do ye also unto them. How do you
feel when people start forcing open the closets of your life
into which you've not invited them? You feel violated. Don't you? I do. At times I have
felt violated. People have asked me questions
that I just wasn't mean enough to say, mind your own business. And just kind of feeling awkward,
I sort of deflected the question and backed out. But when I got
home, I marveled that I didn't just say, didn't your mama teach
you no manners? And if people are bold enough
to do that with me in a place of leadership, I just wonder
what are they doing with the rank and file of God's people?
That's one of the ways it manifests itself. Remember 1 Corinthians
13, 5, love does not behave itself unseemly. Ascemoneo. It doesn't act contrary to the
accepted scheme of things. Someone said love does or says
nothing that would raise a painful blush on the cheek of another. Love does or says nothing that
would raise a painful blush on the cheek of another. There's
some things we do that raise an innocent blush. There's some
of you, whenever you're complimented for how you look, you blush.
But you're glad you blushed. It's nice to know someone noticed
you had a new dress or a new hairdo. But you see, when you
know that what you're going to ask will raise a painful blush,
Love will not allow us to do it. That's one way this sin concretely
manifests itself. Secondly, when we discuss with
another person things about others, that are none of our business.
You see, in the first instance, we're probing an individual concerning
matters that are none of our business. In the second example,
we're discussing with a third person things about others that
are none of our business. Romans 14, 4, to his own Lord,
a servant stands or falls. What right do you have to discuss
with a friend your opinion about another person's choice of a
home? choice of a car, where they went
on vacation. What right do you have to speak
to another about another's choice, whether to use a Christian school,
homeschool, or put him in a secular public school? What right is
it of yours to discuss that with someone else? They are operating
before the eye of their Lord. It is meddlesome, gossipy, intrusive
speech. to probe into things like that
that are none of your business. What right do you have to express
your opinion about another's stewardship of procreation? It's
a shame they're having all those kids. That's none of your business.
None of your business. None of mine. Now, if another
has clearly sinned, You're not to talk to a third party about
it, you're to go to them. If your brother sinned, rebuke
him. If he repented, forgive him. Luke 17, 3. Or Galatians
6, 1. If one be overtaken in a fault,
you that are spiritual, restore such a one. Or Matthew 18, 15.
If your brother sinned against you, go, tell him his fault between
you and him alone. But otherwise, you have no business
discussing it. I shall never forget how God
confronted me with this principle. I was only 18, maybe I had turned
19. I was at a Christian college
where I had gotten to know quite well a very godly missionary
from Africa. A Dr. Thompson was his name.
He was a chiropractor, John. He had done amazing work with
chiropractic in dealing with lepers. And he was not appreciated by
the administration because he had certain emphases that were
lacking greatly in the administration in certain aspects of the Christian
life. And one day in chapel, certain remarks were made by
the president of the school that I thought were really aimed at
my friend, Dr. Thompson. I mean, he did, in
my judgment, he did everything but name his name. And I sat
there, I was angry. Why are you treating my friend
that way? So I went to his office. And I had the temerity, 19 year
old, what did I know? I said, Dr. Thompson, I said,
they really gave it to you in chapel this morning, didn't you?
I'll never forget. He looked at me and he said,
Albert, the chapel speaker will give account of himself to God. I will give account of myself
to God and you will give account of yourself to God. I felt about that big. End of discussion. You see what
the lesson was? If I was in a position to speak
to the president and I had a stewardship of responsibility, it'd be one
thing. But I had no such responsibility. I was there as a student. I was
not to be sitting in judgment and then seeking to foment and
agitate. Dr. Thompson's words have remained
with me today. And how many things were my remaining
Adamic nature would want to probe and then talk to others about
those things? Albert! He will give account
of himself to God, I will give account of myself to God, and
you'll give account of yourself to God. And then there's a third way
this is concretely manifested when we pass on to others information
about people and events in the lives of others when there's
no necessity to do so. You see, in the first case, we're
probing with an individual in matters that are none of our
business. In the second, we're talking to third parties about
someone over here in matters that are none of our business.
In this third, we are passing on to others information about
people and events in the lives of others when there's no necessity
to do so, and often when what we pass on is not as firmly established
as fact, and we may be violating the Ninth Commandment. It usually
begins with the words, Have you heard that? That's what a tale-bearer
is. Here's the latest tale, and I
will be its bearer. I will bear the tale to you.
That's a tale-bearer. This is tale-bearing. gossipy
speech. It's interesting, our English
dictionary defines a gossip as a person who chatters and repeats
idle talk and rumors, especially about the private affairs of
others. A person who chatters and repeats
idle talk and rumors, especially about the private affairs of
others. And we need to learn to ask ourselves,
is what I'm about to say to another about others true, kind, necessary,
and does it fall within the framework of my legitimate responsibility,
or is it none of my business? So we've considered the sin biblically
identified, the sin concretely described. Now thirdly, the sin
circumstantially aggravated. The sin circumstantially aggravated. While it is possible to indulge
the sin of gossipy, intrusive, meddlesome, tail-bearing speech
at any time, in any place, with anyone, Yet the texts we examined
highlighted two settings or circumstances in which this sin is particularly
manifested, and within which certain people are particularly
vulnerable to commit this sin. The circumstance of idleness,
and the circumstance of social butterflyism. I made up a word
this morning. First of all, the circumstance
of idleness. You remember in 2 Thessalonians
3 verse 11? Paul is dealing with these people
who will not work. They are not busy with their
hands in a legitimate calling. They busy themselves with their
feet and their tongues. We hear that some walk among
you disorderly, work not, but are busybodies. They walk, they
don't work, and they talk. Their idleness leaves them particularly
vulnerable to the commission of this sin. Many of you have
heard, as I did growing up, idle hands are the devil's workshop. And where does he do a lot of
his work when our hands are idle? He does it with our tongues.
And there's a particular vulnerability when we are not whole-souled
engaged in a given task that God has put in our hands. And
when we are tempted to be lazy and to be shirkers and to be
those who are procrastinating with respect to our God-given
task, we are particularly vulnerable to this sin. And then social
butterflyism. 1 Timothy 5 and verse 13. He says, I don't want these younger
widows to be placed on the roll for with all they learn to be
idle going about from house to house and not only idle but tattlers,
busybodies, speaking things they ought not. What is the circumstance
here? Social butterflyism. They go
about from house to house. Now in Paul's day, to do that,
you had to go out the door and move your feet and your legs
to get there. We don't need to do that in our
day. All we need to do is push 10 buttons on the touchpad. 9, 7, 3, 2, 5, 6, 4, 0, 6, 9,
and immediately we pawn to another house. And when we're done, we can hang
up, 973, bump, bump, bump, we're in another house. And in the
course of an hour, we can visit six houses. To do what? Not to call with some specific,
pointed, well-divined purpose, even if the purpose is the nurturing
of a friendship, the passing on of some legitimate concern,
but just to run off at the mouth with another. And that's where
much of this sin is committed. When the specific purpose for
a telephone call has been accomplished, and then we're just laid back
talking, and we don't like periods of silence on the telephone.
I'm not going to pay for silence. I mean, if my phone bill comes,
so many minutes talking, so and so, I want to know I used it
well. And it is in that setting that we are particularly vulnerable
to this sin, according to the Scriptures. And I would not want
in any way to undermine the legitimacy of a non-structured visit, by
phone or by person. That's been my wife's salvation
in these months of being confined at home. and how the telephone has been
a means of grace to nurture her friendship with many of you,
to communicate with many of you our thanks for your meals, and
in the conjunction with that, she's had wonderful conversations
with you, entered into your burdens, your joys, the concerns of your
life. I'm not talking about that. And
the last thing I would want to do is to lay upon any sensitive
conscience a restriction that would be unbiblical. But what
I am saying is this. But so often we go beyond those
bounds of conversation that fits the description of Ephesians
chapter 4. We are not to let corrupt speech
proceed out of our mouth, but positively, that which is good
to the use of edify. And we get beyond that, and we've
run out of things to say, and then up come the things that
fit the description of gossipy, meddlesome, intrusive, tail-bearing
speech. And I'm not going to have Anne
put out a three-page list and catalog so you can look down
and say, this fits that. You've got to work that thing
out before God, every one of you, just as I must do. But nonetheless,
if we're sensitive to the pressure of these passages, it is clear
that this sin is circumstantially aggravated by idleness and by
social butterflyism. And the best thing some of you
could do To avoid this sin is to limit your phone calls. Say,
I'm going to talk for 10 minutes, and then I'm going to get back
to my God-given task. I won't allow my idleness to
leave me vulnerable to this sin. Now, am I going to come and check
up? No. You've got to sort this out before God. You can go out
of here this morning, pouting and snorting and saying, well,
I was bantling, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But this is what
the Bible teaches. And if you're honest with your
own heart, you must acknowledge I've been guilty. I have talked
to others about matters that were none of my business. I've
talked about others to others in matters that were none of
my business. And by God's grace, I'm going
to repent, and I'm going to deal with it, and I'm going to change
my ways. Well, we've considered the sin
biblically defined, the sin concretely described, the sin circumstantially
aggravated, now fourthly, the sin evangelically confronted
and conquered, the sin Evangelically confronted and conquered. And
what do I mean evangelically? I mean confronting it in the
light of the gospel. What do we do? What does the
cross of Christ and the gift of the Spirit and the word of
God and the fellowship of the saints, what do these evangelical
provisions have to say with respect to this sin of gossiping, intrusive,
meddlesome, tail-bearing speech? Well, I want to answer it in
two categories. First of all, for some of you,
this sin is a reigning sin. This sin reigns in your life
and is one of the several evidences that you are most likely a stranger
to the grace of God. This sin is as addictive to you
as the sin of drunkenness, drugging, sexual immorality is to others. It began early in your life. You had no guidance in your upbringing
with respect to the use of your tongue. In the circumstances
when your character was being formed and set, you were left
to let your tongue do whatever it wanted to do. And out of the
abundance of your unregenerate heart, your tongue has etched
patterns in which gossip, meddlesome, intrusive, tale-bearing speech
is absolutely ingrained into the texture of your soul. And
it's a reigning sin. I remind you of Matthew chapter
12, verses 33 to 35. With respect to the use of our
tongues, Jesus said these words that we looked at in our initial
study, and we go back to them this morning. Matthew 12, 33. Either make the tree good and
its fruit good, or make the tree corrupt and its fruit corrupt,
for the tree is known by its fruit. You offspring of vipers,
how can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance
of the heart the mouth speaks, for the good man out of his good
treasure brings forth good things, and the evil man out of his evil
treasure brings forth evil things. This, for some of you, may well
be the proof positive that you're unregenerate and you need a new
heart. Because it's only out of a good heart, a good treasure,
that you begin to bring forth good things. And so you need
to go to God as revealed in Jesus Christ, recognizing that there
is a Savior who throughout His 33 years never once spoke one
gossiping, meddlesome, intrusive, tail-bearing word. He kept the
law perfectly in every utterance of his tongue, as surely as he
never spoke anything contrary to truth, never spoke anything
that was corrupting, never spoke anything that was abusive, so
he never spoke one word that could be justly identified as
gossipy, intrusive, meddlesome, and tail-bearing, and he kept
the law perfectly on behalf of his people as their legal representative
head. And then he went to the cross,
and he died under the anathema of God, bearing our sins in his
own body up to the tree, even our sins of gossipy, meddlesome,
intrusive, tail-bearing speech. And my friend, you need to go.
and plunge yourself in that fountain open for sin and uncleanness,
and be cleansed from your sins of the tongue, you need to cry
to Christ, mediator of the new covenant, that He would then
do in you what He says He will do in that covenant, take out
the heart of stone, give you a heart of flesh, give you a
heart that will be a good treasure, out of which will come good things.
And for some of you, perhaps the clearest evidence that you
have a new heart, a cleansed heart, that you're in saving
relationship to Christ will be right at this point. When a man's
been a foul-mouthed, cursing drunkard, what's the clearest
evidence he's been converted? He stops his drunkenness, and
he stops his foul-mouthed speech. Right? Well, for some of you,
perhaps, the real evidence that you have come into saving union
with Christ will be that no longer does this sin reign in you. But then there's a second category
for some of us in whom it is not a reigning sin, but a troubling
remaining sin. What are we to do? If the arrows
of God have found us this morning, what are we to do? First thing
we do is own it as sin. Stop rationalizing. Stop trying
to nitpick with a phrase here, a phrase there, where I may not
have stated it. Stop all that nonsense and say,
oh God, oh God, you found me this morning. This tongue has
been a gossipy, meddlesome, intrusive, tail-bearing tongue. Lord, you
found me out. You're answering the prayer of
Your Son. Father, sanctify them by the truth. Thy Word is truth. Lord Jesus, You intend to sanctify
me. Your Word has found me out. I'm
not going to be so foolish as to frustrate Your prayers and
frustrate the passion of my heart to be a more holy man or woman.
Oh God, You have found me out. I own my sin. For he that covers
his sins shall not prosper, but who so confesses and forsakes
them shall obtain mercy. And then you go to that fountain
open for sin and uncleanness. For if we confess our sins, he
is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse
us from all unrighteousness. Ask God to cleanse you even as
the prophet Isaiah. He was no drunken, cursing bum
when he had that sight of the exalted Jehovah upon the throne. And he cried out, I am a man
of unclean lips. And I dwell in the midst of a
people of unclean lips. And God took a coal from the
altar, from the place of sacrifice, and laid it upon his lips. And
he said, your iniquity is purged because of the sacrifice made. And I urge you, own your sin,
go to the fountain, and then take your position afresh in
Christ. Read over and pray in a passage
such as Romans 6, 1 to 14. I am united to Christ. In Christ
I died to sin. Sin shall not exercise lordship
over me. This thing has no right to dominate
my life as a Christian. Therefore, Lord, I present myself
afresh to you as alive from the dead, and my member as instruments
of righteousness. O Lord, every day I will present
my tongue to you to be an instrument of resurrection life and power
and blessing to others. And then you will begin to take
the practical steps to mortify this sin. You will cut off association
with the people who are determined to cause you to stumble in this
sin. You'll graciously tell them, John, Mary, I have had dealings
with God. My conversations with you have
left me vulnerable to gossipy, meddlesome, intrusive, tail-bearing
speech. I've had dealings with God on
December the 15th, 2002, and I'm determined to deal with this
sin. Are you determined to help me?
Oh, well, you just... Sorry. Goodbye. But I, no friendship
is worth dishonoring my Lord and grieving the Spirit. Some
of you need to do this. But I go home today and say, Lord,
after telling and pouring my heart out, I fear it will just
go on. Loving your friends more than
loving a holy one. Company not with him that opens
wide his lips. That's the command of God. Don't
keep company with those that indulge this sin and leave you
vulnerable to indulge it with them. Look at the circumstances
in which you're most vulnerable. The telephone is my nemesis.
What am I going to do? I was talking with some of the
ladies last week. What you're going to do is, when you call
up, punch in your ten numbers, you're going to say, Mary, John,
before we talk, I want us to pray, God will keep us from gossip,
meddlesome, intrusive, tail-bearing speech. You lead in prayer this
time, I'll lead in prayer the next time, and when we're done
talking, One of us will lead in prayer and thank God for his
help that we've spoken that which is unto edification. Oh, you
say, Pastor, that's extreme! Is it? Is it extreme? Is it extreme to pray? Is it
extreme to watch? My Bible says watch and pray
that you enter not into temptation. I have found it to be a tremendously
sanctifying thing. Since several years ago I started
determining that as a general rule I'm going to pray with anyone
with whom I have any extensive conversation on the phone at
the end of that conversation and just knowing all the way
through I'm going to have to call on God at the end of this
conversation. What a check it has been upon
many things that I otherwise would have said. I'm so perverse,
I need that discipline upon my soul that I am before the face
of my God in what I say. and then give yourself to cultivating
the contrary disciplines of grace. Ephesians 4.29, it's not enough
that you don't indulge corrupt speech, but Paul says, but then
speak that which is unto edification, speak that which will minister
grace, and begin to cultivate. How can I raise things in the
conversation that is legitimate for me to raise? that will turn
the conversation into matters that will edify and minister
grace one to another. Well, we've considered together
this morning this sin of gossipy, meddlesome, intrusive, tail-bearing
speech. We've seen it defined from these
three key passages. I've tried to give you some concrete
description of where and how it raises its ugly head and spews
its venom. We've looked at the circumstances
that can aggravate it, and we've looked at the gospel remedy.
Now my question is, what are you going to do with all this?
You're going to go out the door and say, well, Pastor, thank
you for a good message. Boy, boy, boy, Pastor really worked
hard to preach this morning, didn't he? Is that what you're
going to do? Some of you have done that times
without number. And you're not one bit better. Not one bit better. Not one bit better. Why? I haven't preached a perfect
sermon, but I think I've preached a biblical sermon. I think I've
preached a clear sermon. I think it's been rooted in solid
exegesis. It's had enough particularizing
and specifics that you're not sitting there saying, well, what
does all this mean floating around? Why in the world aren't you going
to do something with it? I think some of you need to reckon with
that issue when the postlude is being played today. Say, God,
am I going to go out of here and do what I've done times without
number? Shake the pastor's hand. Thank
you for the ministry and be no different. Friends, I don't labor. To have your handshake and your
compliments that I preached a good sermon. I'm laboring to see Christ
formed in you. That's what I'm committed to.
And I believe many of you are committed to that, but not all
of you. Not all of you. And I want to see all of you
committed to that. I want to present you all maturing Christ
Jesus. So what you going to do? What
about some of you kids? Some of you young people? You've
already gotten in the wretched habit of having a loose tongue
that delights to pick up little juicy tidbits and pass them on
to your buddies and your girlfriends. Are you going to stop it? Are
you going to say, today I am not going to indulge that sin
anymore, so help me God. I want the Lord to tell us that
some of you will be able to look back on this day and say, I have
dealings with God. On December the 15th, 2002, And there'll be some people that
know that's not empty talk. Is that too much to expect? God's
world will affect that transforming grace in your life and in mine.
May God grant it to be so. Let's pray. Our Father, we thank you for
your word. We thank you that it is indeed
a lamp to our feet and a light to our pathway. And we pray that
you would take your word and cause it to do its intended work
in each one of our hearts. Whatever's had the mixture of
the chaff of man's thought, blow upon it and bring it to naught.
Whatever has been true to your holy word, we pray that you'd
fulfill your promise that it would not return to your void,
but would accomplish that whereunto you've sent it. God, hear our
cry and seal it to our hearts, we pray. Amen.

Use of the Tongue #5

Key Quotes

What does the Bible say about gossiping and tail-bearing speech?

How do we know that gossiping is a sin according to the Bible?

Why is controlling our speech important for Christians?

What practical steps can Christians take to avoid gossip?

Sermon Transcript

About Albert N. Martin

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Use of the Tongue #5

Key Quotes

What does the Bible say about gossiping and tail-bearing speech?

How do we know that gossiping is a sin according to the Bible?

Why is controlling our speech important for Christians?

What practical steps can Christians take to avoid gossip?

Sermon Transcript

About Albert N. Martin

Comments

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