Turn with me, if you would, to
Colossians chapter three. Colossians chapter three. Our text this morning will be
verses 20 and 21, which say, Children, obey your parents in
all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers,
provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. In verse 18, Paul said, wives
submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the
Lord. He's speaking to wives. In verse 19, he said, husbands
love your wives and be not bitter against them. Speaking to husbands.
And now in verse 20 he says, Every soul here right now is
the child of a parent. I know we think of young people. But every soul in this room is
the child of a parent. When he says children, he's talking
to all of us, every single person here. So I want to say something
to all of us children, and then I want to say something to those
of us who have children. Verse 20, he said children. Verse
21, he said fathers, parents. So first He says, children obey
your parents. Children obey your parents. Our
desire is that we might be the children of the Heavenly Father. That's our desire. That's our
great, great desire. Everything in the Scripture points
us to our spiritual relationship with God, Father, Son, and Spirit. God. Everything does. Like the
story of that elder in the church who told that young man whose
message was not any good. He said, Son, in every portion
of Scripture there's a road that leads to Jesus Christ and Him
crucified. Our business is to find that
road and get on it. Everything points us to our relationship
with God. Everything does. And our desire
is that we might be children of the Heavenly Father. The only way that that can be,
and what I'm saying is so, it's going to grab your attention,
but it's so. The only way that can be is if we obey Him. We must obey Him. Matthew 7, 21 says, not everyone
that saith unto me, this is the Lord speaking, not everyone that
saith unto me, Lord, Lord shall enter into the kingdom of heaven,
but he that doeth the will of my father, which is in heaven.
A lot of times we like to, you
know, well, let's just kind of ignore certain things. That's
what he said. John 17, six, the Lord said to the father, I have
manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out
of the world, thine they were and thou gavest them me. He said,
and they have kept thy word. They obeyed you. That's what
he's saying. They obeyed you. How? How can that be said of
us? Here's how. Our elder brother,
the Son of God, came here on our behalf. Why did Christ come
here? It was on our behalf. He came
here on our behalf and He secured our adoption to the Father. And He did that by being obedient
to Him for us. Christ was obedient to the Father
for us. This is what He said, I delight
to do thy will. So He was obedient according
to righteousness. That means every good deed that
needed to be done before God. He was obedient according to
the law. fulfilling all the penalties
and the punishments that were owed to His people. Being found
in fashion as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient unto
death, even the death of the cross. Christ secured and He
performed our obedience for us. He did that for us. And therefore
in Him, we've been made to be the children of God. In Christ,
I know it's so hard to believe, but in Christ, we obey God. We do. In Christ, we are the
very righteousness of God because He was made to be the very sin
of us. In Christ, we are well-pleasing to the Father. You say, well,
what about in ourselves? Let's stop looking to ourselves
and just start looking to Christ. We keep doing that, we keep,
yeah, I know, but what about right here? Let's just stop looking
right here and keep looking to Christ. Just keep looking to
the Lord Jesus Christ. He accomplished that for us,
obedience. Because He accomplished that
for us and He was obedient to the Heavenly Father for us, this
is our loving response. That's what this is. As a loving
response, we ought to be obedient to his command and desire. We ought to be obedient to our
earthly fathers and mothers as a loving response. This is his
commandment to us. And in thankfulness, we ought
to strive to obey it. But we ought to strive to obey
it on this condition, okay? Here's the condition. Look with
me if you would at Ephesians 6. It's just a few pages back,
Ephesians 6. Ephesians 6 verse 1 says, children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. In the Lord, in what is in agreement
with the Lord. If a parent says to a child and
this happens If a parent says to a child, I do not want you
going to that place where the truth of God's Word is being
preached, the child should disobey the parent. If a parent says, stop worshiping
the true and living God, the child should disobey the parent.
If a parent is a member of a congregation and tries to create an uproar,
tries to create a vision, a division, this happens. This happens. If a parent tries to create an
uproar and a division and wants the child, we're all children,
even if the child is an adult, okay, wants the child to create
the division with him, the child should disobey the parent. A child should always obey the
parent as long as the word of the parent does not defy the
word of God. Children obey your parents in
the Lord. This is well pleasing unto the
Lord. Now turn with me back to our text, Colossians 3. To us parents, the next verse,
verse 21 goes on to say fathers. To us parents, let me say this. Our children will not obey us
unless we teach them to obey us. It is not in their sinful nature
to naturally just do that. We think, well, children, you
know, obey their parents and they'll catch on. Just give them
a minute. They'll catch on. It is not in
sinful nature to obey. It is not in sinful nature. Our children will not obey us
unless we teach them to obey us. According to the commandment
of the Lord, He said, Train up a child in the way he should
go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Train up. Teach. Instruct. Take the time. Let's, I have
children too, let's take the time to teach the importance
of discipline and obedience to our children. It's something that, you know,
we parents don't naturally think of until the word of God instructs
us to do it. but we need this instruction.
As parents, we need this. Speaking of the heavenly father
to his people, this is speaking about God, the father to his
children, his people. All right, this is Isaiah 54,
13. It says, all thy children shall be taught of the Lord and
great shall be the peace of thy children. That'll be the end
result of the Father's house. That's gonna be our end result
in glory. Peace. And it's because the Word
taught us the humble submission and bowing to the authority of
the Word of our God. That'll be the end result of
our house if we teach our children according to the Word of the
Lord. Peace. It'll be peace. Proverbs 29, 17 says, Correct
thy son or daughter, and he or she shall give thee rest. Yea, he shall give delight unto
thy soul. That's God's promise on it. How
do we do that? Correction. Discipline. chastening. The scripture says,
whom the Lord loveth, he chastens. A lot of times we think this,
and I do mean we, I have thought this. Well, I don't want to be mean
to them. I don't. I don't want to be mean.
I don't want to be hateful to them. I don't want to discourage
them. I feel like I'm just discouraging them. So this is what I'm going
to do. I'm just not going to discipline them this time, which
ends up becoming most times. I'll show my love and I'll show
my care to them by, this is how I'll do it, by not disciplining
them. That's how I'll show them I love
them. I'm not going to discipline. Discipline, correction, chastening
is not us being mean and hateful to our children. It is the demonstration
of our love to them. It's the demonstration of our
love. Whom the Lord loves, this is the evidence of it. Whom the
Lord loves, He chastens. Whom the Lord does not love,
He leaves them alone. That's what he does. And in the
end, he damns, he judges, he condemns. He leaves them alone
to themselves to ruin themselves in their sin and rebellion because
that's the only thing a sinner can do. Leave a sinner alone
and he will drown in sin. That's all a sinner can do. Leave a sinner alone and he will
not turn to righteousness. He's a sinner. Whom the Lord
does not love, he leaves alone. But whom the Lord loves, he convicts,
he stops them in their rebellious tracks, he breaks them, and he
reveals to them what they are and what they're doing. And he
brings repentance to them. He brings a cry of mercy to them. Mercy, please let me have mercy. And then he hears their cry and
then he answers them. That's not his hatefulness to
his people, that's his love. That's his love. That right there
is our example of what it is to lovingly teach our children
Obedience. Verse 21 says, Fathers, provoke
not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Chastening
our children is not beating them. Chastening our children is not
something that should cause our children to literally be afraid
of us. Afraid that we're going to physically
bring harm to them. But according to the word of
the Lord, and I'm telling you, parents, we need this. I need
this. You need this. According to the
word of the Lord, our chastening must be done in a way that brings
respect. Chastening must create a reverent
fear to authority. To authority. That's not being done in chastening
today. There was a time when it was. And I do admit that sinful
man can get pretty caught up in his sin and get pretty carried
away. But our Lord said in Proverbs
13, 24, He that spareth the rod, hateth his son or daughter. But he that loveth him, Chasteneth
him betimes. That means as many times as he
or she needs chastening until they learn, until reverent fear
for authority comes. This is critical. One of the
great downfalls of false religion, one of the greatest offenses
and blasphemies of false religion is this. There is no fear of
God before their eyes. It's one of the greatest downfalls
of false religion. Preachers of false religion are
more afraid of men than they are of God. That's where the
problem comes from. There's no fear of God before
their eyes because there's fear of man before their eyes. And
one of the greatest downfalls of parenting, and I'm not acting
like I'm an authority on it, I want to learn this. I want
us to learn this. But one of the greatest downfalls
of parenting is parents are more afraid of their children than
they are the Word of God. It's so. They don't want them
to blow up and freak out and cause a scene. It's just so. It is critical that God teaches
us this for our children's sake, for their sake. This is so. If we teach our children that
it's okay for them to ignore and reject and rebel against
our commandments to them. If we teach them it's okay to
ignore it, reject it, and rebel against our commandments to them
in the process of that, We will teach them that it's okay to
ignore, reject, and rebel against the commandments of God to them.
And not only will God end up spanking them over that, God
will end up spanking us over that. He will. I know that spanking is not only
not popular anymore, it's offensive, very offensive. It's considered
abuse. I know that. Man has taken the word of the
Lord and turned it into something evil. But here's the truth. Here's the truth. We ought to
obey God rather than man. God said, foolishness is bound
in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive
it far from him. What is the rod of correction?
The word literally translates rod, staff, branch. You know that old, go get me
a switch. It means offshoot. It means club. These three words
literally are in Strong's Concordance. I just said it. Literally a stick. That's what it means. Are you
saying we ought to beat our children? We've already covered that. No. We don't hate our children and
God does not hate children either. Suffer the little children to
come to me, if such is the kingdom of heaven." The man that has
many children, has his quiver full, that's a happy man. The point of this is, whatever
the means you choose, okay? Whatever it is you hold in your
hand, or whatever, whatever. Our correction must be something
that brings a swift, sharp, noticeable consequence. It must be a discipline
that the child does not want to receive, one that the child fears, one
that the child respects. I want to give you a little example
here. Now, Billy, stop doing that. Stop, Billy. I don't think we have any Billy's
in here. I tried to pick a name that we don't have. Billy, I
mean it. I mean it, stop. If you don't
stop. Now, Billy, I'm not gonna say
it again. Billy, stop. That is not correction. That's
not discipline. That's vain jangling. Go to your room right now. You
go to where all your toys are and all your video games are
and the place where you love being anyway. That's not correction. That's
not discipline. We will not bring good to our
children if we do not deliver something to them that arrests
them. strikes fear in them, exposes
to them what they've done. You say, Gabe, this sounds so
harsh. This just sounds so brutal. How do you know this is the right
way? How do you know? It's because this is the way
our Lord deals with us. This is the way our Heavenly
Father deals with us. That is His way in the Scripture
to us. His Word is quick and sharper
than any two-edged sword, dividing, piercing. His way is the right way. His
way is the only good way. His way is truly the only loving
way. It's the only loving way. Thank
God he stopped this rebel in his tracks. Just stop. Stop. Can't we all say that, honestly? All of us who he has stopped
in our tracks. I know Saul of Tarsus can say
that. He didn't say, he didn't, Saul didn't hear a voice that
said, now Saul, Saul stop. Saul, you need to stop. I'm not
going to tell you again, Saul. He didn't hear that. Every child of God can say this,
against the God who rules the sky, I fought with hands uplifted
high, but thus the eternal counsel ran. Almighty love, arrest that
man. That's how God dealt with us.
That's how God struck the all wise, loving fear of the Lord. Isn't it amazing that the fear
of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom? We thank Him for it, don't we?
I thank my Father for disciplining me. I don't resent Him for it. We thank our Lord for correcting
us. We thank Him for bringing that
holy, reverent fear to us. And here's the reason why. It's
because through that chastening, we know that He loves us. Whom the Lord loves, He chastens. We've been caused to realize
this. We've been caused to believe it. Therefore, His chastening
brings comfort and it brings peace to us. I don't have time to tell you this,
and so I'm going to tell it anyway. Walter Groover, It was the missionary that we
supported down in Mexico. He took his family down there
in the 60s, four children. And at one point, a little Mexican
girl knocked on their door begging for food. So his wife, Betty,
fed her. And once she learned there was
food there, she came back every day. Finally Betty found out
who her mother was and took her to her mother and saw that her
mother was a young single mother with too many children and she
could not afford to feed them. She lived in a grass hut with
dirt floors. So Betty asked her, do you mind
if she lives with us? She's still your daughter, but
do you mind if she just lives with us and we'll take care of
her? We'll clothe her and feed her. And the woman said that
that would be great. So Betty took this little girl
back home. Her name was Chela, right? And
Cody Groover, their son, said that, you know, she became one
of the family. And they would do family things and get into
scuffling and whatever, and they'd get in trouble. And the four
biological children would be marched back for a spanking,
and Chayla would not. And this kept going and going,
and finally, everybody, you know, it was a resentment thing. Well,
she's not even gonna get in trouble. She can do whatever she wants
to do. And Chayla noticed it too. One day when Walter was
home, she dropped down into the living room floor and just started
giving it all she had, pitching a tantrum. And Walter was just
very uncharacteristic. She was a sweet girl. But Walter
looked at her and he said, stop that. And once she realized she
had his attention, she kicked it up a notch. And he said, you
better stop that right now or I'm gonna spank you. And that's
all she needed to hear. It was all out kicking and screaming. So he snatched her up and marched
her back to the bedroom. And after it was over, he came
out and told Betty, after he spanked her, she crawled up into
his lap, put her arms around his neck, and said into his ear,
now I know you love me. Do we love our children? Let's do for our children what
our loving Lord has done for us. Can we see the love in it? Can we see the good in it? Let me just leave you with this
comment. All right, these comments. Disciplining
is not easy. I want our young, I want this
oldest Sunday school class to hear this. I mean, soon y'all
are going to be parents, Lord willing. Disciplining is not
easy. It is a very, it sounds easy,
but it's a very difficult thing for a parent to do. It truly does. That's the cliche,
you know, well, it hurts us more than it hurts you. It really
does. It really does. May God give us the strength
to do it. May God give us the strength
and the wisdom to do it for their good, because we love them so
much. It is relentless, it's continual, it's every day. They will disobey in everything
that they say and everything that they don't say. Whether
you tell them something and they point-blank look at you and say,
no. Or whether you tell them something
and they just stare at you, what they're saying is, no. They know
what they're doing. Either one of those is disobedience.
It's day in and day out. But because they're so full of
sin, just like all of us are, when it comes to discipline,
let me give you these three things. We need to do it lovingly, not
angrily. If you're angry, go away for
a while. Come back when you've calmed down. This needs to be
done as our Lord does everything he does concerning us, lovingly.
It needs to be done lovingly. It needs to be done consistently. Whatever you say goes, it needs
to go today. It needs to go tomorrow. Our
God does not change. His word does not change. Yesterday,
today, forever. Our discipline ought to be the
same way. Lovingly, consistently, and here's the third thing. When
it's over, it's over. Our God does not hang guilt trips
over us. The discipline came, and this
is what he said, it's finished. It is finished. When it's over,
it's over. May God give us the strength
and the wisdom and the love to teach and teach and teach for
Christ's sake. All right, you're dismissed.