Ephesians chapter 6. We're going
to this morning look at children and fathers. I'm going to begin
with what the scripture has to say to children. I was thinking
before we started watching all of y'all come in. There are things
about being a child that are absolutely wonderful. There are times It seems like
you don't have a care in the world. You just can play and
enjoy things. And it's so wonderful. I'm afraid
adults too often forget that there are parts of being a child
that are so difficult. It's just tough growing up and
maturing, dealing with your emotions, dealing with peer pressure and
things. It's just so difficult sometimes
being a child. I hope that you paid attention
this morning. That is, uh, brother Eric prayed
a moment ago, the Lord might teach us something from his word
to make the time of your childhood better and happier. So let's
look here. Ephesians six, verse one, let's
start seeing what the scripture has to say to children. Children
obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. And you notice
that word right there. You know, there's nothing more
right. than for a child to obey your parents. It's right. Your
parents are older than you. They've had time to learn more
things. Your parents, believe it or not, know more things than
you do. So it's right for you to obey
them. It's just right to obey somebody,
do what somebody says when they know more than you do. And I
remember being a child. I mean, I know you. I know how
you think. You think your parents don't
understand you, don't you? At times you think that. At times
you think they don't understand what it's like for you in school.
You think they were in school 100 years ago. They don't know
what it's like today. But I promise you, your parents
understand you and what it is you're going through, what it's
like growing up. A whole lot more what you think
that they understand. They've already been in elementary
school and grade school and high school, and they know. They know
what it's like. It hadn't changed that much.
So it's right, it's wise for you to learn from their experience
and do what they say. Because I promise you, they know
more than what you think they know, your parents do. And I
also promise you this, you don't know near as much as what you
think you know. Just keep that in mind. So it's
right for you to do what they tell you to do. And then it's
right for you to obey your parents, because your parents love you.
You love your parents and your parents love you. And you show
your love for your parents by obeying them, by doing what they
tell you to do when they tell you to do it. It shows you trust
them when you do what they tell you to do. It shows that you
trust them and it shows your love for them by doing what they
tell you to do. But now notice this here. It
says, children, obey your parents in the Lord. That's a very key
statement in the Lord. Now, let me tell you what that
means. If your parents tell you to do something that's morally
wrong, if your parents tell you to do something that's illegal,
they tell you to steal or do drugs or something like that,
they tell you don't worship the Lord. I'll tell you what, you
may make this agreement. You don't have to obey them,
OK? But otherwise you do. So do it. Otherwise, obey your
parents because it's just right. Now look back at Mark chapter
10. I'm going to show you why that's so important. Why is this
so important that a child obey your parents? Because it's right.
It's not just to make your life more difficult. The reason for
this, the most important reason for this, is this. If we learn
to obey our parents' authority, it could be, could be, God would
use that to teach us to respect and honor the Lord's authority.
Look here at Mark 10, verse 13. And they brought young children
to him that he should touch them, and his disciples rebuked those
that brought them. And here people were bringing
their children to the Lord, and the disciples told these parents
and told these little children, children your age, they said,
the Lord doesn't have time for you. The Lord's, he's got to
deal with more important people, adults. And that's never true. Now you listen to me, children,
that's never true. The Lord always has time to listen
to everyone, to listen to you. It's always right for you to
come to him. Don't ever think that the Lord
does not have time for you, that you're not old enough to come
to the Lord, to talk and speak to the Lord, to lay out your
heart before the Lord. Because look what the Lord says
in verse 14. But when Jesus saw it, he was
much displeased. and said unto them, suffer the
little children to come unto me, and forbid them not. For
of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, whosoever
shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he
shall not enter therein. Now here's what the Lord's saying. Believers come to God as little
children. Anytime, no matter how old we
are, whether we're an adult or whether we're a child, if we're
gonna come to the Lord, we're gonna come as a little child
attitude of a little child. Well, children are told to obey
their parents, but this is right. And so we just read, well, believer
comes to God as a little child, obeying him because it's right. Now, what is it? What is the
commandment that we obey? As a little child, we obey his
commandment. What is that commandment that
when we come to Christ that we obey? It's coming, believing
Christ. God told us to come. That's His
commandment. That's not just a good idea for
you to come to Christ. That's God's commandment for
us to come to Christ. Well, then it's only right that
we obey Him and come to Christ. And coming to Christ is not complicated. It's simply trusting Christ. It's simply trusting that He
is enough, that He is all it takes to save a sinner like me. Am I right to come to Christ?
My right to come to him and ask him to save me is God's commandment
that I come. It's only right that we obey
that, isn't it? Because we can't be saved any other way. God commands
us not to try to be saved by being good little boys and girls,
and I hope y'all are good boys and good girls, but that's not
our salvation. God commands us to come to Christ
trusting. that He alone is our salvation.
We don't add anything to it. And nothing can be more right
for you and me than to obey God and come to Christ, trusting
Him. All right, now back in Ephesians 6 verse 2. Now in verse 2, he says, honor
thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with
promise. Now verse 1 tells children to obey your parents and the
Lord. Verse 2 tells us to honor our parents. Now what's the difference? Why does he say in verse one,
obey in verse two, honor? Well, do you know that simply
doing what your parents tell you to do is not obeying God. Simply doing what your parents
tell you to do is not enough. We're to honor our parents. God
looks on the heart. God looks on the attitude. You
know, when God gave the 10 commandments, The commandment he wrote was
not obey your mother and father. The commandment he wrote was
honor your father and your mother. Well, we honor our parents with
our attitude. If you want to obey God, I'll
tell you how you do it. You obey your parents with a
good attitude. You do what they tell you to
do with a smile on your face. It's not grouching and grumbling
and going and doing it because they aren't. No, if you would
honor your father and your mother, you do what they tell you to
do with a smile on your face. And why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't
you do what they tell you to do with a smile on your face?
It ties back to love. They love you. You love them. Well, you ought to do it with
a smile on your face. And I might just add that will continue for
the rest of your life. There are times Miss Janet asked
me to do something, I said, okay. She said, nevermind, don't want
you to do it with that attitude. I ought to do it with a smile
on my face. That's what you do with your
parents. Do what they tell you to do with a smile on your face. Because honoring your father
and your mother lasts a whole lot longer than obeying your
father and your mother. You know, there'll come a time
and it's coming so fast. It's coming so fast. Just a few
years ago, we took a picture of all this congregation out
there on the steps. Remember when we did that? Go look at
it. See these children, how they've
grown. It's happened so fast, so fast. You're going to be out
on your own. Well, when you move out of your
parents' house and you have a household of your own, you don't have to
obey your parents anymore. But we're to always honor our father
and our mother by showing them the respect and the love that
they deserve. You know, they spent a lot of
time and effort and energy raising you, loving you. Well, it's just
right that we show them honor and respect all the days of our
life. And again, here's why that's
important. That's not just putting a burden
on you to make life tough. Here's why this is important.
If we learn to honor our parents and we learn to honor their authority,
it could be, could be, the Lord would use that to teach us to
honor God and honor his authority. Now how can somebody like us
honor Almighty God? It's simply by believing the
Lord Jesus Christ. Nothing honors God more than
believing on the Lord Jesus Christ. Believing that Christ is all
it takes to save me honors God. It really does honor Him. And
we truly can't honor Him any other way. You know, God demands
that we keep the law perfectly. He demands that. Well, I can't
keep the law perfectly. You can't. Nobody can. And when
I was a child, you know, listen, I understand how difficult it
is obeying your parents. Sometimes I did. Sometimes I
didn't. I didn't always obey my parents.
And I got a lot of spankings for it. There was a lot of price
to pay for that. But I didn't always obey my parents. Well, I don't have any. obedience
to God's law. I can't say, well, I haven't
always obeyed God's law. Sometimes I have, sometimes I
haven't. I haven't obeyed God's law at all. But I honor God by
believing that Christ did obey the law for me and that he is
enough. His obedience, him obeying the
law is all it takes to make a sinner like me righteous. I honor God
by coming to Christ just like I am. I'm not trying to make
myself better before I come to him, just coming to God just
as I am, believing that Christ will make me whole, that God
will accept me in Christ. And nothing honors God more than
that. Now, Paul here tells us this
is the first commandment with promise. Now, what does that
mean? Well, let's look back at Exodus chapter 20. Here's where
God gave the Ten Commandments. In all the nine, there's nine
commandments, God just says, do this or don't do that. And
that's the end of it. He just said, do this, don't
do that. Don't lie. Don't steal. Don't
commit adultery. Remember the Sabbath day. Just
honor God. Don't worship idols. All those
commandments are just statements. But here's one commandment that
has a promise attached to it. Exodus chapter 20, verse 12. Honor thy father and mother.
So I told you when God gave the law, he didn't say obey your
father and mother. He said to honor them. And honoring
your father and mother does include obeying them. Honor your father
and your mother that, here's the promise, thy days may be
long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. See,
there's a promise attached to this commandment, and this is
the promise. You will live a better life if you learn to obey your
parents and you honor your parents. You will live a better life on
this earth. That's so. You'll live a better life because
you'll be happier if you learn to do what your parents tell
you to do. Let me give you an example. How
many of you know every day, it just seems to grate at you, but
you're getting ready to go to bed or getting ready to go to
school tomorrow, whatever. There's just a couple of times
a day, your mother always says, did you brush your teeth? Now,
go brush your teeth. That's not something your mother
learned in mom school, that all moms torture their children by
always telling them brush your teeth. If you do what your mother
tells you to do and you go brush your teeth, you're going to live
a happier life. Because not only will that prevent
you from having pain in your mouth and having had dental work
where they drill down in there and all that kind of stuff, but
you know there are other diseases that can start in your mouth
that will go through the whole rest of your body that you wouldn't
have if you learned to brush your teeth. Isn't that something?
So you're going to live a happier, healthier life. If you just do
what your mother tells you to do, brush your teeth. Your parents
tell you to go clean your room. Go, you have certain chores you
got to do. You know, they're not doing that to make you miserable.
They're doing that to teach you something that will make you
happier the whole rest of your life. Learning to work hard and
do a good job at it will make you happier the whole rest of
your life. I promise you. When you grow
up, you're going to have to spend a lot of years, a lot of years
working a job so you can get the things you need to have to
live. A wise man once told me, he said, I worked 30 years on
the railroad. Try to make the best of every day. Try to find
something good about every day. There's a reason to be happy
to have my job. I worked with men who worked for 30 years,
and they were miserable and griping about the work and the company,
just miserable every day. He said, you know what? I worked
30 years and retired, and they worked 30 years and retired.
Who was happier for 30 years? Learn now to do a good job, and
you'll be happier the rest of your life. You'll be happier
knowing how to work. You'll be happier because your
boss will like you. Your boss is going to find that
it's rare to find somebody that knows how to do a good job all
the time. And your boss is going to like
you. That's going to make you happier. They're going to give
you promotions. You're going to have better working environment.
And you'll be happier. If your parents teach you to
obey them the very first time, we're going to talk to fathers
in a minute. But let me give this little note to parents.
Teach your children to obey you the very first time. Don't do
any of this count to three business. Teach them to mind you the first
time. Your children will be happier for it. You really will. You
think a policeman's going to count to three? No, sir. No,
he's not. He's not. He's going to arrest
you the first time. You don't do what he tells you
to do. And jails are full of people who never learned to mind
their mother the first time. Full of people. And this I can
promise you, you're going to be happier living your life not
in prison. You really will. See, it's important. If we learn to obey our parents
the first time, could be, could be, the first time God calls,
we'll obey. Might be the only time he calls.
Important. All right, now fathers. Now, children, don't tune out
on me now, because someday you're going to be fathers. You're going
to be parents. Start learning now what scripture says about
being a father and a parent, so you're a good one when it
comes time. Ephesians 6 verse 4 says, and ye fathers, provoke
not your children to wrath, but bring them up and nurture an
admonition of the Lord. Now you go through scripture
like I did this week, and you will see there are repeatedly
two things scripture tells fathers to do, to correct our children
and to teach our children, repeatedly through scripture. That is, we
see that. Look back at Proverbs chapter
13. And by correct, this is what scripture means. It means to
spank their little bottom. That's exactly what it means. That is what scripture means
by correcting. Proverbs 13, verse 24. I'm going
to show you this. Proverbs 13, 24. He that spareth his rod, hateth
his son. But he that loveth him, chasteneth
him betimes. Now I remember when my children
were little and it utterly grieved my soul to spank them and to
discipline them. I hated it every single time. I hated it. But parents will
correct the child that they love. They absolutely will. And if
you don't correct them, you don't love them. That's not Frank saying
that. That's God's inerrant word saying
And I know a lot of parents don't spank a child, and I'll tell
you why they don't. Because they love themselves more than they
love that child. They don't want that child pouting at them or
being mad at them. And to that, I say, that's just
ridiculous. You spank them, and then it's
over. You dry their eyes, you love
on them, and you send them on their way. And it's over. Lesson
learned. And to quote Stacey, they'll
be just fine. They'll be just fine. She says
they'll be just fine. All right, Proverbs chapter 19. Verse 18. Chasing thy son while there's
hope. When they're little and under
your roof, there's hope. You've chasing them while there's hope.
And let not thy soul spare for his crying. This is what Solomon's
telling us here. I don't care if they get mad.
I don't care if they scream and yell and wail and they're mad
at you. You remember this. They're the one did something
wrong, not you. So don't let that stop you. They ought to
be a whole lot more concerned if you're upset and you're mad
at them for what they did or you're disappointed in them.
You teach them to deal with them. Of course they're angry when
you spank them. Of course they are. But you teach
them to deal with it. Teach them to deal with it. Could
be they'll learn to deal with the Lord's correction when the
Lord corrects them. See how important this is, right? Proverbs chapter
23. Verse 13. Withhold not correction from
the child for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not
die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod and thou shalt deliver
his soul from hell. This ties to what I said to children,
you know, could be you discipline your children could be if they
learn to respect your authority, they'll learn to respect God's
authority. You always keep that in mind when you're, when you're
dealing with your children. Now he uses the word beat here.
This has to be made clear, just so it's not on my mind that I
said this children are never to be beaten. Never. A spanking
will do just fine, but never are they to be beaten. Spanking
a child is the absolute best way to teach a child what to
do and what not to do. That's the truth of scripture,
and nothing in today's liberal world will ever make that untrue,
ever. Now let me tell you this about
discipline. Effective discipline can only be done in love. It
can only, not anger, but love. Don't discipline your children
in public. Don't do it. Take them off privately.
And don't discipline them to embarrass them. Just because
you're mad or you're embarrassed, don't embarrass your children.
Discipline's not meant to embarrass. Discipline's meant to teach,
to teach what to do, what not to do. And don't go to extremes
all the time, screaming and yelling and throwing a tantrum, because
they'll just learn to tune you out. But don't think you never
can do that. Occasionally, a raised voice
is a mighty good thing. They ought to be scared. My dad
didn't raise his voice many times, but boy, when he did, just don't use it every time.
All right? Now, that's what scripture tells
us about disciplining our children, but notice what Paul says here.
There's a warning. Fathers, men, don't provoke your
children to write. It says that to fathers because
mothers are more prone to love to excess, to have an ungoverned
love that would never discipline. Men tend to be harder and might
discipline too much. And this is what the apostle
is telling us. Don't be unreasonable. Now raise your children, but
don't be unreasonable. Make your children please you.
Make them do it. but don't make it impossible
for them to please you. Remember this, your children
are just children. They're not adults yet. Your
job is to raise them to be an adult. So don't make it impossible
for them. And if you teach your children
by disciplining them, could be God won't have to. Could be the
law won't have to. Could be the sheriff won't have
to. Could be God won't have to. Could be. That's disciplining
our children. Scripture's full of admonitions
to fathers and parents to discipline our children. But the second
thing scripture repeatedly tells fathers to do for our children
is teach them. Teach them. I began with this with fathers
last week. Don't be a buffoon like TV portrays
fathers. I know we got dad jokes. My girls tell me once in a while,
your dad joke game is good. I got my dad shirts I wear. They
say, that's a dad shirt. You know, you can wear it in
the house, but don't wear it out in public. I mean, dads do, I
understand, but don't be a buffoon. Don't be a buffoon. Be a source
of wisdom that your family can count on. Be a source of strength
and wisdom to teach the right things that your family needs. Fathers, you're the head of the
home. Now, your family needs to know somebody with some wisdom,
somebody with some love, somebody that's got to care for their
best interest is steering this ship. Now, you be a man of wisdom
because a buffoon can't teach anything that's good. Never.
I mean, Sean, you wouldn't hire a buffoon to teach children spelling.
Well, fathers, this is our responsibility to teach our children. A buffoon
can't teach anything. And look at Deuteronomy chapter
6. The number one thing that fathers are to teach their children
is the gospel. We're to teach our children the
fear of the Lord. We're to teach our children to
worship the Lord. And you do that in a couple of
ways. Number one, by your word, by what you say. You tell your
children about the Lord. You tell them the gospel. You
teach them the gospel. And secondly, this must go with
this. Teach them by your example. Teach
them by your example. The way you conduct yourself
at home and the way you conduct yourself out in private ought
to be the way you conduct yourself here. It ought to match. The
way you conduct yourself when they watch you live your life
ought to match your doctrine. And if not, they're going to
tune you out. Children see through that faster
than anything they see through that. and they'll turn away from
the gospel for it. Look here, Deuteronomy chapter
six, verse six. And these words, which I command
thee this day should be in thine heart and thou shalt teach them
diligently unto thy children and shalt talk of them when thou
sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when
thou liest down and when thou risest up. So that's why I was
telling you, whether you're at home or out in public, this is
the way you conduct yourself. These are the things In all those
different times, this is the way you're teaching your children. Now, what is it exactly we're
to teach our children? You don't have to wonder. Look
at verse 20, the same chapter. And when thy son asketh thee
in time to come, they're gonna ask, they're gonna wonder, they're
gonna ask you in time to come saying, what mean the testimonies
and the statutes and the judgments which the Lord our God hath commanded
you? Then thou shalt say unto thy son, we were pharaohs, bondmen
in Egypt. And the Lord brought us out of
Egypt with a mighty hand. And the Lord showed signs and
wonders great and sore upon Egypt, upon Pharaoh and upon all his
household before our eyes. And he brought us out from things
that he might bring us in to give us the land which he swore
unto our fathers. And the Lord commanded us to
do all these statutes. The Lord commanded us to fear
the Lord our God for our good always, that he might preserve
us alive as it is this day. And it should be our righteousness
if we observe to do all these commandments before the Lord
our God, as he hath commanded us. Now you see, you men see
the picture of the gospel there. When your children ask you, what
is it? What do you mean by this? What does this mean? You know,
the preacher says this, and what does this mean? And the scripture
says this. You tell them, this is what God Almighty has done
for me. I was in the land of Egypt. I was in bondage and slavery
to sin and the Lord. in great might, great power,
great wonder. He delivered me in the sacrifice
of the Lord Jesus Christ, the Passover lamb. He delivered all
his people that way. And you can trust him too. You
can trust him too. That's what we're to teach our
children. You fathers, you priest in the
home, you take that responsibility on and you teach your children
those things. But let me give you a mighty
good supplement to that. is to have your children in Sunday
school. Maybe one more time, I'll do
this. Give a commercial for our Sunday school teachers here.
They're the absolute best. I mean, they're the absolute
best. I guess I'm preaching to the
choir, because here you all are. But I'm telling you, if I had
a child that age, I'd do everything I could to have them in those
classes as many Sundays as I possibly could. Have them in the worship
service as often as possible. Because I'm telling you, it's
important. What you're teaching them is faithfulness to the worship
service is important. If God's going to save them,
I can tell you how he's going to do it. Through the preaching
of the word. Then I'd have them under as much
as I possibly could. And as you're going home, ask
them questions about what they heard. And don't take, this is
the standard answer for children. Well, what'd you learn in school
today? What'd you learn Sunday school day? What'd you learn
in church? Nothing. Don't accept that answer. Make them, tell
them in advance, make them tell you one thing that they learned
over the course of a year, over the course of a childhood. That's
a lot of things. Make them tell you one thing
that they learned. The Lord just might teach them
something in spite of themselves. He did it a lot of times, hadn't
he? Now let me give you just a few words of advice on some
other matters that are generally matched with scripture. I'm not
going to give exact scripture for all these things, but these
are so to fathers. Let me give you a few things.
Fathers, teach your children hard work. Give them chores to
do and make them do them. And you set the example of hard
work. Show them how a father just goes
out and works hard for his family. You set the example in that.
It's good for them. And teach fathers, teach your
sons and daughters what the love of a man is supposed to look
like and feel like. Hopefully your sons will learn
to be men, to love their wife, to love their children like they
should. And hopefully your daughter will
learn the difference between lust and love. That's right. Maybe she'll marry a man just
like her daddy. More than likely, she will. Let that sink in for
a minute, fathers. More than likely, she will. You be the man you want her to
marry. Right now, you be that. Because nobody can teach that
like fathers can. And teach your children that
the world does not revolve around them. Now, I know many times
when we're at home and things, it does. It takes a lot of time
and energy raising children, but not always. Now, not always. Teach your children to never,
unless the house is on fire, teach them to never interrupt
adults. Teach them that something is
more important than them because it is. That'll be true later
when they're on the job. The company doesn't revolve around
them. When they're in a family, their
family, they're heads of their families later on. It's not all
about them. Then either somebody else comes
first. And could be they'll learn to keep their mouth shut. And
maybe they'd hear God speak. Maybe they'd hear God speak.
And He is more important, isn't He? And then this, fathers, be
there. Be there. I worked in a company
one time and the owner of the company told me, he said, I think
one of the strengths of this company is all the men who work
here, when they get done for the work of the day, go home
to their families. Be there. You can't teach your
children if you're not with them. You can't teach your children
if you're not doing things with them. I know quality time is
a big thing, you know, today, but I just wouldn't do it. I
wouldn't schedule quality time because you can't schedule life.
You can't schedule when questions will come up. You can't schedule
when opportunities to teach your sons and daughters will come
up. You'll have a whole lot more opportunity to do that if you're
there with them. Just be with them. And fathers,
be the father. Be the leader. Don't talk to
your children about your problems. They're not your psychologists.
Don't lay your problems off on them. You handle your own problems
and you handle theirs too. Don't talk to your children as
peers. This world is an ugly, ugly place. I saw a quote yesterday from
a man who's a Calvinist that Twitter was created to prove
the Calvinist theory that all men are totally depraved. And
I agree. This world's an ugly place. Protect them from it as long
as you possibly can. They just don't need to be immersed
in the sewer until it's absolutely necessary. They're going to have
plenty of time for that soon enough. Keep them from worrying. Just protect them from that as
long as you can. And be the man. that your children
will respect. Be above them. You're not their
friend. You be above them. You can't
look up to somebody that's not above you. You know, we'd say
if we respect somebody, we look up to them. Well, you can't do
that unless you're the authority figure over them. And work hard, work hard at being
a good father. Because I'm telling you, it's
hard work. So work hard at it. Don't pace
yourself. Brady, I don't think you sprint
a 5K, do you? I mean, you at least start out
pacing. I mean, it looks like you're sprinting to me, but not
to you. You pace yourself. Don't pace yourself at being
a father. Sprint every step of the way, because it's going to
be over before you know it. Sprint every step of the way.
Now, let me close with this. the task of being a really good
father. Seems like an impossible weight
to put on a man, doesn't it? Well, the number one thing I
can tell you about being a good father, the number one piece
of advice I can give you is the same advice I gave to mothers. That child is born, if you've
got any sins, they put that baby in your hands and you realize
I'm in the deep end of the pool over my head. I don't have the strength. I
don't have the wisdom. I don't have the wherewithal to lead
well. Then pray. Let the Lord give it to you.
You'd be amazed how often he does. And in the end, if God
saves our children and he makes fine adults out of them, it's
going to be because of his grace. Now it's not going to be because
of our good parenting or how smart we were. It will be completely
by God's grace. But God does use means, doesn't
he? Could be he'll use us as good fathers to teach him something.
Could be. It's all by God's grace. So let's
pray. Let's pray that the Lord will
make us good fathers and that the Lord will give them grace.
I believe that's the least our children deserve. They didn't
ask to be born to us. We wanted children. We went about
trying to have children. They didn't ask to be born to
us and I believe The least we can do is give them the very
best that we can. All right. Well, I hope the Lord
bless that too.