Let's be turning to Colossians
chapter three. Colossians chapter three. Today,
at the end of chapter three and the first verse in chapter four,
I want to look at three relationships. Paul gives us three relationships. One between wives and husbands. The other between children and
parents. and the third between servants
and masters, or employees and employers. And regardless of
how many relationships you find yourself in, each of these are
instructive to us. They tell us something about
the believer's relationship to Christ. And that's what I want
to speak to you about today, the believer's relationship to
Christ. That's our focus. So I want to
begin in verse 17, Colossians 3, 17. And whatsoever ye do, in word
or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks
to God and the Father by him. We begin here with Christ, because
that's the key to our understanding of these relationships that God
the Father has ordained for every child of God, for every one of
his children, for believers. Everything that we do in our
lives should be done in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And it should be done with thanksgiving
unto the Father by Jesus Christ with an eye to the glory of God. That's our interest. That's our
care. That's the interest that the
Father has given to his children. a desire to know Him, a desire
to serve Him, to do things in His name for His glory. Nothing we do in this life, and
I mean that, nothing we do in this life for others and nothing
we do in this life for ourselves should be done except it be done
in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ for the glory of God. with thanksgiving to the Father
in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. It says do all, do all
in the name of the Lord Jesus. Is there anything excepted from
all? No. Do all in the name of the
Lord Jesus. If you're about to do something
that you cannot do in the name of the Lord Jesus, then don't
do it. Don't do it. If you're gonna
do something and you can't do it in the name of Christ, if
you're ashamed to do it, then don't do it. Whatsoever is not
of faith is sin. Pray about it. Wait till you
can do it in the name of the Lord Jesus. You know, someone
might say, and I have this in my notes, I don't think I can
get drunk in the name of the Lord Jesus. Well, that tells
you whether or not you should get drunk. We don't live under
the law, but we know what sin is. And if you can't do it in
a good conscience in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, then
the Lord by his spirit is showing you that's not for you. Don't
do it. What you do isn't for yourself. It's not for others. It's for
the glory of God. And that's our focus. That's
what he's teaching us. Now, the three relationships
described in our text here at the end of Colossians 3, they
have to do with authority. And that's hard against this
flesh. This flesh bucks against authority. This flesh fights
against authority and being brought under bondage and servitude to
another. Though we're the servants of
sin by nature in Adam. We're all sinners in Adam. And
we're brought under the servitude of sin and death. None of us
escapes that. in Adam. Only Christ delivers
from sin and death. He gives life in Himself. We are under the authority of
the Lord Jesus Christ. The Father gave His children
to Christ. He gave His bride to Christ for
their salvation, for their provision, for their care and protection
in the same way that a husband is given to a wife, for her provision,
for her protection, for her care. We're put into the hands of Christ
because we cannot save ourselves. There's none of us that is righteous
and able to deliver ourselves from sin and the power of it
and from death and the power of the grave. We cannot do it.
We need salvation. We need a savior. We need the
Lord Jesus Christ, whom the Father has sent to save his people from
their sins and to give us life in himself. The Father chose
a people. in Christ before the foundation
of the world, and he gave them to Christ for him to lay down
his life for her as his beloved bride, whom he loves. He willingly
came. and gave his life for his bride.
Ephesians 1.4 says that it's according as God hath chosen
us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we should be
holy and without blame before him in love. We were chosen in
Christ for this purpose and therefore it follows that it's God who
has ordained our marriages. It's God who has ordained the
family that we are in. It's God that has ordained our
jobs, our employers, our peers, our fellow employees and colleagues.
God ordained all of that. And that's hard when we have
difficult days and hard times. It's hard for us to hear and
believe and trust that God has ordained this for my good. even things that happen to us
that we think are horrible and probably are according to the
flesh, the trouble that we cause ourselves and yet God has given
that to you to bring you to hear this word this day according
to his ordaining power, according to his glory to cause you to
hear what he has to say to his people. in the Lord Jesus Christ. And therefore, knowing that God
has ordained these things, we are to serve Him faithfully in
all these relationships, giving thanks to the Lord in all of
them." So the first relation that Paul records here is that
of wives and husbands. It says, Colossians 3, 18 and
19, wives, Submit yourselves unto your own
husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives
and be not bitter against them. Now this relationship here teaches
all of us, whether we're married or not, it teaches all of us
something about submission and love. God ordained that wives
should be in subjection to their husbands. I know the spirit of
this world. This world says that's foolish. Men are hard. Men are evil. Men are wicked. Men do this and
they abuse that authority. I know that. The Lord knows that. But he says to you that are his
children. his people, he says, well, he
reveals and shows us that he ordained this. He knew what he
was doing. He knows the wickedness in man's
heart. He knows that we are flesh but dust. He knows that, and
yet God himself ordained that women should be subjects, submissive
to their husbands. God made the union of a husband
and wife. He made it. Why? Because it pictures
the relationship of Christ, our husband, to his church, his bride. It pictures that. God didn't
look at marriage and say, there's a good picture that'll show the
people about my son and his bride. No, he ordained marriage because
it pictures Christ and his bride. It shows us that relationship
in perfection. When writing of this to the Ephesians,
Paul wrote to the Colossians here and he wrote to the Ephesian
church and used very similar language to what he said to the
Colossians. I'm going to read from Ephesians
5, verse 20 and 21. It's not far from Colossians.
He said, giving thanks always for all things unto God and the
Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourselves
one to another in the fear of God. And so the Lord shows us
that in the church, men and women, Even though men aren't wives,
but men and women in the church learn submission. We submit one
to another. How do we do that? We're careful
with one another, careful not to offend, careful to be gentle
and understanding, to hear one another, to labor together. one common goal, that the gospel
would go forth and deliver the Lord's people from death. We do that because we love our
Lord. We love His body and we don't
want our Lord or His body, His name to be stained. We do that in love because we
care. We care about the body. We care about the ministry. And
that's the mindset of the wife to her husband. Ephesians 5.22,
wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the
Lord. We have one husband. We have
one Lord, Jesus Christ. We're not just religious and
worshiping any religious thing. No, we have one Lord, the Lord
Jesus Christ. We hear His voice the same way
that a wife has one husband, and she hears His voice. She
doesn't submit to other husbands. She has one husband. And it shows
the church who has one husband, the Lord Jesus Christ. For the
husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of
the church, and He is the Savior of the body. And that speaks
to what Christ did to save His people from their sins. We cannot save ourselves. We
are not righteous in ourselves. We are all sinners. We have all
sinned and come short of the glory of God. We don't save ourselves. We don't turn our lives around
and fix things and make ourselves savable for God. But even while
we were yet enemies, and enmity in our hearts against God, Christ
laid down his life for his bride, for his sheep, because he loves
her. The Father gave her to Christ
before the foundation of the world, and he loves her. He willingly
came and laid down his life, making provision of himself for
his bride. giving her and her children everything
she needs for her safety, for her care, for her comfort, to
meet her needs, to give her exactly what she needs. He is the faithful
and the perfect husband. And you that have a perfect husband
like that, You love him, you love him and you're happy to
serve him because he thinks of you and he's provided everything
that you need. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their, be to their
own husbands in every thing. And we all understand this. As
believers, we understand this because we're in subjection to
Christ. We hear His voice. We obey Him. We seek God's grace and help
and mercy to help us to hear His words, to obey Him, and to
serve Him. The flesh doesn't like subjection.
The flesh doesn't doesn't like this, and so we find excuses
and justify ourselves, but in the new man, in that spirit that
he gives us, we love Christ our husband. We love his voice, we
love his words, and we want to follow him, and we seek him for
grace and mercy to help us so that we can follow him. So you
that are wives look to that relationship of the church to her Lord Look
at that to know how to to be in subjection to your husband's
look at how the church is subject to Her to the Lord her husband. That's the pattern that that
we look to and Knowing that the Lord gave you to that man and
he prepared that man for you He ordained it He ordained it
for your good and for that man's good. You pray for your husband. Husbands are ignorant. Husbands
are hard. Husbands are difficult. I know
that. I'm a husband. I understand that.
Pray for him. All right, if he's being hard
or difficult or frustrating or embittering you, pray for that
man, that the Lord teach him, because the Lord is able. He's
the Lord. Even if he doesn't believe, he's
the Lord. The Lord loves you, and he'll
do for you what you need. He'll provide for you as your
husband. So pray for that man, that the
Lord make him a faithful husband and a provider for you and for
your children. Pray for them because the Lord
is able to teach them. We often, we're married young,
we're boys in a lot of ways. We're immature and we think of
ourselves and we need the grace of God to deliver us. Pray for
that man. Pray for your husband. If you're
not married now, pray for the man that the Lord has chosen
for you, that he prepare you for him and him for you. Pray
for that one. Pray for your spouse, whoever
they may be. Pray for them. And then subject
yourself to that man in godly hope, trusting the Lord. Not
trusting the man, trusting the Lord to teach him and guide him.
Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. Husbands, you look to how Christ
loves the church. There's our pattern. Look to
how Christ loves the church. That word bitter could refer
to the husband, right? The husband may be a little boy,
not wanting to lay down his life, not wanting to put aside his
fun and games and to do what he needs to do in labor to provide
for his wife and to take care of her. He may not want to. And
that might cause him to be bitter. But it also could mean that the
husband is making his wife bitter by a heavy hand. by a heavy hand. Christ loved the church. He laid
down his life to give life to the church, to deliver her from
the wrath of God, which is declared in this word, we're all sinners
and God's going to judge sin. But for the believer, he judged
our sin in Christ. Christ came as our substitute. Christ came as the surety to
pay all the debt that his bride owed. He said, put it on my account. I'll bear it. I'll do for her
what she cannot do for herself. Christ came as the substitute,
and he took her place, dying in her place on the cross, bearing
her sins to make an atonement, to deliver her from that wrath
that she earned and to give her life and salvation in himself
instead of what she deserved. God is gracious to us in Christ. So how are you to provide for
your wife? The same way Christ laid down his life for the bride.
You lay down your life. You do what you need to do to
provide for your wife. Christ is the head of the body.
He does what's right for the church. He thinks about it. He prays about it. Well, the
husband prays about it and cares about what he's doing. He's not
careless and indifferent to his responsibilities to his wife. He does what's right for her.
And what Christ does is what's right for her. And that doesn't
mean that the husband gives his wife whatever she says she wants
or needs. No, he's careful. He thinks about
whether or not they do really need it, given all the other
things that we need, because we have to make choices. independently
wealthy here. We have to make choices, wise
choices that provide for everything that's needed. So we don't just
give them everything they ask for, but we do labor to give
our wives what they need. And it should delight our hearts
to bless them. It should delight our hearts
to do those things for our wives that we know are a comfort and
a help to them. and show them that we do indeed
love them. Because you think about it, she's
subjecting herself to you, husbands. She's making sacrifices. The
wives and mothers I've known make sacrifices for their husbands
and for their children, oftentimes foregoing the better things for
themselves, foregoing sleep, foregoing all kinds of things
to take care of their children and their husbands. And so as
the husband who loves his wife, you're mindful of that. She's
making sacrifices all over the place. Someone needs to care
for her. Someone needs to say, honey,
what about you? What about you? You do this.
You take that because it shows her that we're thinking of her
and that we're mindful of her in the same way that the Lord
thinks of us and is mindful of us and our needs. This is what
Peter said. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell
with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as
unto the weaker vessel. And she's weaker, but she's making
sacrifices that we as men wouldn't go without. Be mindful of that
as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers
be not hindered. Because if she's crying out,
Lord, this man's not doing for me what I need him to do. Help
him, teach him. The Lord's gonna teach you. He's
gonna help you, make you to see and to know what you have need
of knowing so that you love your wife and lay down your life for
her. And so Paul wrote more to the
husbands in Ephesians 5 than he did to the wives. He wrote
more. He said in Ephesians 5, 25, husbands,
love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself for it. that he might sanctify and cleanse
it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present
it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. And you know what that tells
me? The biggest, most important provision of a husband is to
put his wife and their children in a faithful gospel church. That is more important than the
dream job and the big money-making job, taking your family away
from a gospel church. No, you want to first provide
for their spiritual needs. Put your wife and children in
a faithful gospel church, first and foremost, and the job will
take care of itself. It may not be the biggest income,
but you're doing what is your first primary responsibility,
the same way Christ first provided for his wife spiritually. To deliver her from death and
to give her life in himself. It's not the dream home. It's
to be in that local assembly with your brethren. That is our
first responsibility as husbands. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies, the same way that Christ loved his body,
the church. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth
and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. Let me just
say to this too, for you young men or you that are married or
looking to be married one day, Don't hold a firm hand over your
wives, demanding their subjection, insisting on it. And what I mean
is, what we do as young men, especially young believers, there's
a time usually when we're talking to our wives and it's heated,
and we say to them, you need to be in subjection to me. All
right, we think that's the thing to say. Now you can ask any one
of these men who have said something like that to their wives, and
just ask them, did a wave of love and just comfort wash over
your wife's heart when you said that? Did they suddenly say,
you're right, I didn't even know that, what was I thinking? And
then suddenly do all these nice things for you? No, it had the
opposite effect. It made them feel threatened.
It made wives feel like, what did I just get myself into with
this man? Who's this man? It didn't do
that, so don't say it, because it's only gonna make them bitter.
More likely, there's something going on. Ask your wives, honey,
what is going on? What's troubling you? What can
I do to understand what you're upset about? And usually, they're
going to tell you what is bothering them. They're going to get it
out eventually. So be patient. Don't force it
out of them. Ask them, be nice, show that
you do care and that you're listening to what they're saying. Our Lord
says to us, I'm meek and lowly. in heart and ye shall find rest
unto your souls. He says, take my yoke upon you
and learn of me. My yoke is easy and my burden
is light. So be gentle in the same way
that your Lord tenderly cares for his bride and speaks with
grace in his heart, comforting her and encouraging her. That's
what you do. Give her tokens of love. Be patient. Be understanding. She's learning
to subject you the way that you're learning to love her and lay
down your life for her. You're both learning. You're
both growing. And we're always learning that. And the more we
invest in our wives, what I've found is the more I've invested
in my wife and been mindful of her, the more easily and sweetly
she's happy to do things for me. It just gets reciprocated. The Lord blesses that, and it
helps her to be content when you're being patient and kind
and understanding. And so this marriage, is a relationship
where we're taught to subject ourselves to Christ. We see our
subjection to our husband because it's for the good of the body.
And we're learning about love and learning how to be gentle
and patient and kind with our wives. And so look at that relationship
there. Now, I need to move on. The next
relation is between children and their parents. It says back
in Colossians 3, verse 20, children, obey your parents in all things,
for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Now, Paul, when he
was writing to the Ephesians, he added this here. He said that
it may be well with you. He was talking about the commandment
of children obeying their parents. with this added promise, that
it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the
earth. Now let me just give you first
the sense here is that if you listen, you children, if you
hear what your parents are teaching you, if you give ear to their
wise instructions, they're speaking from experience. Believe it or
not, they've been through the same things that you've been
through. They've been children at times in their lives with
parents telling them and speaking to them. If you give ear to them,
They're actually telling you some very good, helpful things
to help you be wise, to make good decisions in life, as opposed
to bad decisions that will lead to a harder, more difficult,
more troublesome life. Hear what they're saying. Give
heed to what they're saying. and you'll more likely, more
often than not, avoid very hurtful, dramatic things that go on in
much of society today where people don't hear the Lord and have
no grounding or foundation, no anchor in Christ. But the gospel
picture here gospel picture in what Paul said there, that thou
mayest live long upon the earth, it pictures Christ and what Christ
did as the Son of God submitting to His Father and coming here
willingly and laying down His life for His bride. It pictures the gospel so that
in His obedience He was justified of the Father who raised Him
from the dead and He obtained what? eternal life, long life,
eternal life for his bride and her children. For you that believe
Christ by faith, who come to God not in your own works, not
in your own goodness, but in the goodness, in the perfect
obedience of the Lord Jesus Christ. That's what it pictures. That's
the long life we're looking for, is eternal life by the Lord Jesus
Christ. He obeyed the Father in all things. He fulfilled all righteousness
for his people. He willingly laid down his life
for the bride, which was given to him by the Father before the
foundation of the world. And so he obtained eternal life
for her by his death and resurrection as her substitute on the cross,
taking her place to deliver her from death and give her life.
Without the son's obedience to the father, we have no life. There is no eternal life for
us. Then it says in Colossians 3.21, Fathers, provoke not your
children to anger, lest they be discouraged. You know, a faithful
father has a tremendous beneficial effect for children. That's a
blessing to have a faithful father who cares for you and loves you
and provides for you, who loves the Lord and is seeking your
good in the Lord. That's a blessing. But understand,
fathers, your children are going to fail. They're going to come
up short of the glory of God, and they're going to fail to
come up to your expectations at times. It's going to happen. We are sinners by nature. Not only are we imperfect, but
we're sinners by nature, and we're little rebels by nature,
big rebels by nature. That's just what we are. So instruct
them. Instruct them just as the Lord
instructs you. Make clear expectations, but
don't be excessively hard on them so as to discourage them. Don't do that. Our Heavenly Father,
you think about it. He's very wise and patient with
us. He's very careful. He's taught
us some things over many years. Many years, some things. It took
us a long time and we're still learning. And so in that same
sense, I know that you have limited time with your children, but
in that same sense, be mindful of how the Lord, there's just
some things that take time. It just takes time and we can
be efficient with tasks. We can get things done efficiently,
but it's a whole other thing in these relationships to be
efficient with people. We can be effective with people,
but if you're efficient with people only, you're going to
not have a good relationship, really, is what it comes down
to, because you're just trying to get things done as quickly
as possible and you're not understanding why there's no relationship there
and no one's listening or things aren't being done the way you
thought. So be mindful of that in your relationships. You can't
be efficient with people. Even as employers with your employees,
I mean, there's a time and a place for efficiency. Sometimes there's
risks and dangers without being efficient, but you can't always
be that in all things at all ways. Third, a third relationship is
between employees and employers, here termed servants and masters.
Back in Colossians 3.22. Servants, obey in all things
your masters according to the flesh, not with eye services,
men pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God. God sees
our hearts. He knows our thoughts. He knows
what we're thinking. He knows what's in our hearts. We cannot hide it from him. So bring into alignment what
you need to do, knowing that your God, your Lord, sees all
things. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily,
as unto the Lord, and not unto men. When your children obeying
your parents, you're obeying the Lord. When your workers,
when your employees, hearing what your boss is saying, you're
obeying the Lord. You're serving the Lord in that
faithfully, knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward
of the inheritance, for ye serve the Lord Christ. That's an encouragement. that the Lord sees. Your boss
may not see it, but the Lord does. And your boss may treat
you unfairly, but the Lord sees it. Trust the Lord. Doesn't mean
that he's going to get fired or she's going to get fired and
you're going to get their job, but the Lord knows. Trust the
Lord in it. And he says, in verse 25, but
he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done,
and there's no respective persons, whether that's the employee or
the employer. The Lord will do what is right,
regardless of what excuses or justifications we make, because
we do that. Well, I did this thing wrong
because I was getting back at them for that thing. The Lord
sees it, the Lord knows. Don't do it, don't do it. Now
it says in Colossians 4.1, masters give unto your servants that
which is just and equal, knowing that ye also have a master in
heaven. So the point here in this is
that in this life, in our jobs, we are typically compensated
for what we do, and you ought to be compensated for what you
do. But not everything is just and equitable here in this life.
And there's unfair things as we would judge them according
to the flesh. There's things that aren't right
or done right. All that aside, your Heavenly
Father knows, and He's done for you what is just and equitable,
to give you an inheritance of eternal life in and by the Lord
Jesus Christ. You didn't work for it. In fact,
you disqualified yourself of it. But Christ gave it to you,
having laid down His life for you, to give you an inheritance
in Himself so that we stand before God blameless and accepted by
the merits of the Lord Jesus Christ. And so God gives to his
children abundantly above all that we could ask or think. Everything
more than what we deserve. What we deserve is an eternity
in hell for our works and our actions and our sins and our
thoughts and our words and our deeds. But for Christ's sake,
we are given life by him. And he reveals who are his people
by giving them faith that looks to Christ and believes him and
worships him and seeks him and seeks to do good. what he says,
believe on him, to trust him for this life. So there's good
to be had in hearing these exhortations. These are relationships given
to picture our relationship to Christ. Christ, our husband,
who loves and cares for us. Christ, our father, who instructs
and guides us. Christ, our Lord, who is just
and equitable with us in all things, who are his people. I began this message saying these
relationships teach us about authority. In all the believer's
relationships, you that trust Christ, he's given you faith. You're trusting the Lord in this.
The other person may not reciprocate the way you would like them to
reciprocate, but you're trusting the Lord in this. pray to him,
cry out to him, trust him, believe him, walk in faith that he has
ordained these things for my good. These relationships I'm
in, it's for my good. When the centurion asked Christ
to heal his servant, Christ said, I'll do it. I'll go to your house
and I'll heal him. And he said, to him, Lord, I'm
not worthy for you to enter my house, to come here and to heal
my servant. And he said, I'm a man under
authority. I have someone over me, and I have people under me. And I say to this one, go. And
he goes, and that one come, and he comes. And to my servant,
do it. And he does it. And so he said, you just say
the word. Well, Christ said, when he heard
it, he marveled. He marveled. Now, it says that
Christ, he's God. But it says that for your sake
and for my sake. He's saying, that's faith. That's
faith. And Jesus said unto the centurion,
go thy way. And as thou hast believed, so
be it done unto thee. and his servant was healed at
selfsame hour. Think about that statement in
all your relationships. As thou hast believed, so be
it done unto thee. In all your relationships, pray
to the Lord. Lord, let me see that. Let me
see the truth of that in each of my relationships. because
I'm trusting you, Lord. I'm believing you that you've
ordained this for my good and for their good, and the Lord
will bless it. He says it because he's teaching
you in it to trust him, to believe him, to hope in him against all
hope, because he's almighty God and able to do it, able to bring
it to pass, and he delights to show you, his bride, that he
does just that. I pray the Lord bless that word
to your hearts, brother.