You will not hear a better message
on the subject of marriage and divorce than that message he
preached. The Lord really gave him something
to say. The title of the message this
morning, Marriage, Divorce, Adultery, and Forgiveness. The subject this morning is not
an easy subject if considered apart from the Word of God. When
I started writing this introduction, I wrote down this subject, it's
not an easy subject. And I thought, well, now wait
a minute. Apart from the Word of God is not an easy subject.
But leave it as it is in the Word of God and it's very clear.
It just dawned on me, I thought, just leave it where it is and
it speaks for itself. You're not trying to explain
anything. You're not trying to interpret anything. It says what
it says. It's the Word of God. We muddy
things up when we begin to try and make the Word of God fit
what we want instead of, thus saith the Lord. When we try to
make it fit what we want to happen or to go on, that's when we get
in trouble. Now, the one speaking on this
subject is the Lord of heaven and earth,
the one who made man and woman. He's the one speaking. The lawgiver,
the lawgiver is the one speaking. This is not a scribe giving his
interpretation. This is not a scribe giving his
interpretation. This is the Lord. And as I say that, I mean for
you and me to perk up and listen. I have learned over the years
that if I would just listen to the Word of God, give attention
to it, It will answer every question I got. Every question I have,
every problem I've got, the answer is right here in this word. Do
I want the answer that it gives? That's the question. Do I really
want the answer that it gives? Now verse one and two, our Lord
was always about, we see that he's always about his father's
business. And it came to pass that when Jesus had finished
these things, He departed from Galilee and came into the coast
of Judea beyond Jordan. And it was great multitudes following
Him. And it says, He healed them there.
He went where He was needed. Where He was needed, He was always
there. And He healed them there. Well, the Pharisees came to him,
it says in verse 3, these are the Pitnick flies. That's what
I call the Pharisees, they're the Pitnick flies, they're the
ones just always a bother, always a problem. And they came to him
tempting him. And it didn't dawn on me until
this morning, I was thinking about this, and I thought, you
know, we just finished. He was talking about, in chapter
18, about offending the little ones, how to not do that, you
know, and how you're going to be in real trouble doing that,
and then how to handle a brother offended, how to deal with that.
And then here he deals with the closest relationship we have,
and that's the relationship of a husband and wife. And I realized,
for the first time in reading this, how Almighty God is directing
this whole thing and staying on subject, staying on this subject.
And these Pharisees sitting around talking, they're saying, you
know, how can we get him? How can we get him against the law of Moses?
You know, get him cross ways with the law of Moses. And they
said, oh, I know, we'll talk about this thing, this matter
of divorce. They didn't realize that this
is still along the same pattern of teaching. Now he's just going
into the home. God is directing this whole thing
and he's instructing us. Here we stand this morning being
instructed on the relationship now in the home. You know, we
had seen the relationship between a brother offended and outside
of it. Now we're in the home. Now we're in the closest relationship
we will have on this earth other than what we have with Christ.
So the Pharisees come tempting him, not to learn from him. Oh,
what an opportunity they could have had. There's a God of glory,
infinite wisdom, and they're tempting him. Our Lord said this
to Satan, "'Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.'" So you know
that what they're doing is satanic. It's satanic. They came with
the intent of trapping him in his teaching, especially concerning
the law of Moses. They're going to get him cross
ways with Moses. And they asked him if it were lawful for a man
to put away his wife for every cause. You see, there were the
conservatives. You couldn't put her away except
for a serious cause. And then there were the liberals.
You can put her away for too much salt on your food. Really? It was so bad that if they saw
a more attractive woman later on, they'd put the ugly one away.
So they thought. That's how bad it was. It was
rampant in that day just like it is in this day. But let's
look at the answers that our Lord gives to this. I don't care
what man gives or men gives or counselors gives, what does God
give? That's all that matters. Period.
That's the end of the subject. What does God say? Well, the
first thing He says to them, have you not read? They have read. He knew that.
They read the Scriptures. They read it. Our Lord takes
them to the Word of God for this subject, and that will end all
matters as far as believers are concerned. This is the end of
the matter, what the Lord says. Why we believe what we believe
is because we have found it in the Word of God. The foundation
of it is in the Word of God. The Word of God is the final
authority on every subject. Every subject. Now, in verse 4-6, Christ takes
them back to creation. Did you notice what happened
here? They want to know if it's lawful
for a man to put away his wife for every cause because Moses
gave us his right of the divorcement. Well, here's what our Lord does.
He bypasses Moses. He bypasses Moses. That's what
he does. And he goes to the beginning
of creation of Adam and Eve. This is called the Law of First
Mention. And however something is first
dealt with, first mentioned in the Word of God, that's how it
is. That's called the Law of First
Mention. Now he says, In the beginning God made them male
and female. Which tells me, first of all,
that all are subject to God. All are subject to God. Male
and female. We are subject to God's authority.
And then God made them male and female, meaning He made them
for each other. He made them for each other. If you remember back in creation,
Adam named all the animals, and there was not a helpmate found
for Adam. There was none like Adam. So
God put Adam in a deep sleep, and He took a rib from Adam,
and He made a woman, one woman for one man, and then from that
point on, every man that's been coming to this world has come
through a woman. But He made them for each other. You know,
it says in 1 Corinthians 11, 11, it says, Nevertheless, neither
is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the
man in the Lord. They're for each other. It wasn't
a man for a man or a woman for a woman. It was a man and a woman.
They were made for each other. That's why God did this. God
instituted marriage. Adam did not institute marriage.
God did. God did. He did it. And God instituted marriage for
the good of the whole human race, not just the church, but for
the good of the whole human race. But primarily now, listen, primarily,
It represents the relationship of the church to the Lord Jesus
Christ. Turn over to Ephesians chapter 5. Our marriage represents
the church and its relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ. That's
why it's so important that we give real attention to our marriage. Let me find the verse. Look in
verse Chapter 5, verse 22. Wives, submit
yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband
is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the
church, as He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church
is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be subject to their
own husbands in everything. How is the wife, or how is the
church, subject to Christ? Willingly, lovingly. Now, I know that a lot of self-righteous
husbands, a lot of ungodly husbands will take that scripture and
abuse it. They'll just abuse the daylights
out of it. But where there's real love in Christ between a
husband and a wife, submission on her part is no problem and
loving her and giving yourself to taking care of her is no problem.
You love to do it. Do you love to submit to Christ?
Do you? That's what he said. Right here's
his Word. We have it. That's submitting
to Him. You know, for Vicki to submit to me in any subject,
for her to do that, you know it's really her submitting to
Christ. It's really her submitting to the Lord Jesus Christ. That's
why I've always said to her, consider Christ as your first
husband. Consider Him as your first husband. And then these
other things will be taken care of. They'll be taken care of
if we do that. And if I love her as Christ loved the church,
and then I give myself to taking care of her, looking after her,
taking care of all her needs, that's a beautiful relationship. That's a godly relationship.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the
head of the church, and he's the Savior of the body. Therefore
the church is subject under Christ, so let the wives be to their
own husbands and everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church and gave himself for it. You know, one of the best I've
learned, it's taken me a while to learn, I'm slow. It's taken
me a while to learn this. But to really have a good marriage
in the Lord, forget about yourself. Forget about yourself. If I will
always consider Vicki, and if Vicki will always consider me,
it's gonna be fine. It's gonna work out just fine.
It's gonna be a happy home. If we consider one and forget
about ourselves. I need me time. Well, should
have stayed single. You should stay single, really.
If you need a lot of me time, stay single. You got all the
me time you got. You want. Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church,
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should
be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies, He that loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but he nourishes, he takes care. You know how you
take care of yourself. You're hungry, you feed it. You
know, you get up, you take a bath, you put your clothes on and you
dress up, you take care of yourself. He said, that's the way you take
care of your wife. You look after her and you protect
her. For we are members of His body,
of His flesh, and of His bones. We're His body, we're one. We're
going to get into that in a minute. For this call shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they
too shall be one flesh. Here's a great mystery. Here's
a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ
and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of
you in particular so love his wife even as he loves himself."
You ever go and say, oh man, I'd like to have those new golf
clubs I just bought? Well, what does she love to have?
What does she love to have? I know men that spend a ton of
money on themselves and their wives don't get anything, hardly. It's like we can't afford that.
You can afford it when you bought it for yourself. Nevertheless, let every one of
you in particular so love his wife as he loves himself, and
the wife see that she reverence, respect her husband. She don't go around speaking
ill of him or running him down. And he doesn't call her the old
lady. I've worked with guys who say, oh, the old lady, I've never
called Vicki the old lady. I never married an old lady.
You know, I have respect for her. She's my wife. All right, let me get to where
I'm at. I lost it. You know, the scripture says, It's not good, our Lord said
this back in Genesis, it's not good for a man to be alone. He knew that, it's not good to
be alone. And that's why he made Eve for Adam. It's not good for
him to be alone. A marriage, I tell you what,
if God has blessed a marriage and there's nothing like it on
earth. There's nothing like a great
marriage. There's just nothing like it.
The only thing I can ever think that'd be better than that is
going to heaven. if God has blessed it. But it takes a lot of work,
doesn't it? Takes a lot of work. It's like
Henry, that message I told you. And Henry said, you build a life
together. You build a home together. You
build it together. It just doesn't happen. The Lord
can bless and give you a good home, which you're going to work
at it. I'm telling you, you're going to work at it. In the first place,
you're going to work as yourself. Not good to be alone. So God
made Adam a helpmate. God did not make Adam a servant. He did not make him a servant,
He made him a helpmate. One to assist and to help in
the process. In the building of a home, raising
of children, a helpmate. I thought of this this morning.
You know, a helpmate, they help each other. When we first, my
dad bought a farm when I was just a little boy, when we first
moved there, he didn't have a tractor and all that to do with after
he did, after he bought it a little bit later. He had a team of horses. And he would, you know, put the
harnesses on those horses and they'd go out. He plowed the
field with them. He mow hay with them. We got pictures of them.
Those two horses, they just pulled together. To me, that's what
a husband and wife do. They're a team that pulls together,
but God has given an order in the home. He's given the order,
and in that order, now listen, in that order, they pull together.
They pull together. When you find strong marriage
values, you're gonna find a strong home. You're gonna find a strong
community. When you find strong marriage values, which we don't
have nowadays much, And our Lord is teaching us here that marriage
is to be for life. It's to be for life. Better or worse. Let me ask you
something here. Our union to the Lord Jesus Christ,
is it for life or not? Is it for life? I've got to read
you something here, over in Ezekiel 16. Ezekiel 16, turn over there. You know, God is not a God who
tells us one thing, then He does another. He's not that kind of
God. Look in verse eight. Now, this
is the baby that's been cast out into the field. You remember
that story. He said, I passed by you in verse
six. I saw you polluted in your blood. I said, do you live? And
then he says, I've, you know, he closed her, picked her up.
And then in verse eight, he says, now, when I passed by, then looked
upon the behold, the time was a time of love. In other words,
she grew up, she grew up and she's now at the age of marriage. And he says here, in verse 8,
"'Yea, I swear unto thee, and entered into a covenant with
thee, saith the Lord God, and thou becamest mine.'" I entered
into a covenant with you, and you became mine. You're mine. We'll see a little bit more of
this in a minute. But she played the harlot. She grew up, instead,
she played the harlot. After all that he did for her,
she went out and played the whore. I mean, she was a bad one too,
a bad one. But look in verse 60. You go
back and read that chapter sometime, you'll see how bad she was. In
verse 60, God says, nevertheless, I will remember my covenant with
thee in the days of thy youth, and I will establish unto thee
an everlasting covenant. Then thou shalt remember thy
ways, be ashamed when thou shalt receive thy sisters, and thine
elder, and thine younger, and I will give them unto thee for
daughters, but not by thy covenant. I'll establish my covenant with
you, and thou shalt know that I am the Lord." He picks her up out of this field.
He cleans her up. He makes something out of her.
Then she goes and plays the harlot. And then at the end of it, he
says, he said, I remember the covenant I made with you back
when you were young. You're mine. You're mine. Aren't you glad that the Lord
Jesus Christ is like that? Aren't you? Because you know
how much spiritual adultery that we have committed since we believed?
Has your heart ever gone after something more than Christ? Have
you ever wanted something so bad you just had to go get it? You think, well, I'm praying
for it on the way to the bank. That's not praying for it. That's
not waiting on the Lord. That's sad, but he says, I remember
my covenant with you. I remember my covenant with you. And then he says here in Matthew
5, and he said, for this cause, This marriage that God has established,
shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his
wife, and they too shall be one flesh." Two shall be one flesh. How do you divide the body without
great harm to the body? When two divide, it's because
they never became one. They never became one. The Scripture
says, who can separate us from the love of Christ? Everything
I've ever done, if it could, it would. If it could, it would. Who shall separate us from the
love of God which is in Christ Jesus? It is written over in
Malachi 2.16, For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he
hateth putting away. And the translation of that is,
he hateth divorce. The marriage relationship is
the closest union we have on this earth. You notice what he
says here? They too shall be one flesh.
One flesh. Let me read to you out of 1 Corinthians
7, 1-5. I've got it written down here
in front of me. He'll show you the oneness here of a husband
and wife that God holds to. Now concerning the things whereof
you wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman,
before marriage, in a sexual way, in that kind of a way, he
says it's good not to touch a woman. Because in marriage, he says, the marriage
bed is undefiled. It's holy. It's holy. It's as holy as reading the Word
of God. It's holy as what I'm doing right now, preaching. It's
ordained of God. Outside of that, it's trouble.
But inside that, it's holy. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her
own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence. This is talking about intimacy.
You notice that word, do? It's do. "...and likewise also the wife
unto the husband." Now, to show the oneness here, to show our
oneness here as a husband and wife, "...the wife hath not power
of her own body, but the husband, and likewise also the husband
hath not power of his own body, but the wife." Here's what this is saying. Now,
listen, we're not talking about abuse. This is to believers anyway. This message is to believers,
not to the ungodly, those who don't believe God at all. It's
to believers. But what he's saying here, and I'll use my wife as
an example, her body is not her body alone. You say, well, this
is my body. Her body is my body. It belongs
to me. My body is her body. My body belongs to her. If she
needs it, if I need it, there's due benevolence. That's why he's
talking about due benevolence. You take care of one another.
Not to do that is not to do that is ungodly. I'm telling you,
it's ungodly. It's against the word of God.
Listen to this. He says here, the husband has
not power of his own body, but the wife defrauds you not one
another. To do that is fraud. You're defrauding. You wouldn't think about defrauding
anybody out there, would you? Would you go out there and defraud
somebody? Why would you do it in your home? Why would you do
it in your home? Accept it be with consent for
a time, a mutual agreement, that they're going to separate for
a time from the marriage bed. Here he says, because you're
giving yourself to prayer, fasting, something's come up, there's
been something that's pressing you, seeking the Lord for, and
he said, for a time, there's a time limit on it, that you
may give yourself to prayer, fasting, but come together again
that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. And that means,
and I looked this up, it means lack of self-control. You think
you're above being tempted? You think you're above stepping
out? You're wrong. You're wrong. If God throws his hand back,
you're gonna find out. Lord, keep your hand on us. But
he says here, and this is the Lord, you come back together
lest Satan get you for your lack of control. because God made
us in such a way that we need each other, husband and wife. And in the marriage, that's as
pure and as holy as it gets. I know this, I know parents and
trying to keep their kids from doing anything before they get
married, they put a lot of, Junk on that that the people
that they carry into the marriage and then you got to overcome
all that stuff But if you teach it according to the Word of God
It's it's uh, it's holy It's holy. I know I know a man an
older man now. He's Several years older than
me. He told me some years ago. He
said my wife we've been They've been married probably 50s almost
60 years He said, you know to this day. She will not get undressed
in front of me Somebody messed her up. Somebody
made her think that that was just awful. And all these years,
she's had to carry that baggage. I know our generation here, this
goes totally the other way, but they're totally the other way.
I mean, you've got to calm it down now. But I tell you what, I'm trying to keep it Sometimes I wish it was just
a doll. I'm trying to keep it because
I've got kids in here. I remember you sitting there. But these are things you don't
get. Isn't that why it's so important
to go by the Word of God, verse by verse, chapter by chapter?
We wouldn't be dealing with this. This is not an easy subject.
We wouldn't be dealing with it. But when two people are married,
they're to leave their parents and cleave to one another, nobody
running back home to mom and daddy, you just work it out.
You work it out. You know, I've learned this,
and these are things I've not only read, but I've learned.
When there's trouble, especially if there's trouble in the home,
there's really the relationship is more with, it's a spiritual
relationship with Christ than it is If we can get that straightened
out, it may be with one, it may be with both, it may just be
one. There's a spiritual relationship that's really in trouble. I have
learned if I get my relationship with Christ when it's good, my
relationship with my wife is good, my relationship with my
kids are good, my neighbor is good. When I get out of sorts,
it's usually because my relationship, my spiritual relationship with
Christ is out of sorts. Now he says here, what God has
joined together, what therefore God has joined together. Do you
know that's what happens when two people are married? You know,
you got the preacher stands up there and he reads the vows,
but you know who's really officiating at that marriage? God. God Almighty. What God has joined together,
let not man put asunder. Let not man make up laws that
supersede God's laws. Nothing supersedes God's laws. Like I said, this is for believers
now. What does God's Word say? What does God's Word say? No man-made law is going to supersede
or nullify God's law. But from the beginning, he says
here, "...but from the beginning it was not so." God didn't give
you that. That's what he's saying. God
didn't give you that. Moses gave it to you. That's what they say.
Why did Moses give us a writing of divorcement? If that's so,
then why did Moses do it? And our Lord very plainly says
this, "...because of the hardness of your hearts." I agree. I agree with my pastor on this.
He said somebody or both are lost. Somebody or both are lost. And I fully agree with him. Moses allowed this rite of divorcement
to keep you from killing each other. That's exactly why. He said it's to keep you from
killing each other. That's why he allowed it. He
didn't say God allowed it. He said Moses allowed it. Just because something is allowed
doesn't mean it's right, does it? God allowed Adam to sin. Is sin right? No. No. Now, he says in verse 9, And
I say to you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it
be for fornication, He's given us a situation here where it
appears to me that if there's unfaithfulness in the marriage,
one of them has gone out and had an affair. He's saying, you
know, except for that, unfaithfulness, they have left the marriage.
And so he said, except for fornication and shall marry another, he commits
adultery and whosoever marries her, which is put away, commits
adultery. I know that adultery in our day
means very little, if nothing, but it does to God. Unfaithfulness
is serious business with God. It's serious business. But let me say something here
because over in 1 Corinthians, I think something needs to be
said here on this part. Over in 1 Corinthians 7, Because I know that believers
go through divorce. They go through it. Let me see
where I want to start. Okay, let's start in verse 8.
I say, therefore, to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them
if they abide even as I am. You know, Paul's saying here,
it's just good, especially in that day when they were under
such heavy persecution. They were under such heavy persecution.
He said, it's good if you just stay unmarried. He said, if you
abide alone. But if they cannot contain, if
they can't control their urges, let them marry. For it's better
to marry than to burn, that is, to burn in the lust of your flesh.
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord." Now
he says, the Lord commands this, "...let not the wife depart from
her husband. But if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or
be reconciled to her husband, and let not the husband put away
his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord." In other words,
I tell you what, if he's speaking, he's speaking on behalf of the
Lord, because it's written right here. If any brother has a wife
that believes not, and she be pleased to dwell with him. You
see, unbelievers can get married and enjoy each other, love each
other. They can. Let him not put her
away. And the woman which hath a husband
that believes not, if she be pleased to dwell with him, let
her not put to dwell with him. Let her not leave him. For the
unbelieving wife For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the
wife, and the unbelieving wife sanctified by the husband, else
where their children are unclean, but that's another subject, that's
just another subject. But, now listen, here's verse
15. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart, a brother or
sister is not under bondage to that marriage no more. In other
words, if I departed and left Vicki, and I'm the unbelieving,
I depart, I leave her. She's not under bondage no more.
I cannot, God's not gonna let a bunch of stinking rebels keep
his children under bondage. And he's saying here, if they
departed, the unbelieving departed, the brother or sister, they're
not under bondage no more. They're free. They're free. They're
free. Now, let me give a, A word of
comfort here. There was a man came to me and
his wife a few years ago. And he said, the Lord has saved us. He saved
us. But both of us have been married
before. He said, what do you think about
that? I said, well, thank God, first
of all, for saving you. And then forget about it. That's no greater
sin than lying or any other sin. Everything I've ever done in
my life has been put away by the blood
of Christ. It's gone. It's gone. It's gone. I'll tell you what, if a man
came in this building right here and the Lord saved him, Lord
saved him, I'd let him stand here and preach. I don't care
if he's like that woman at the well had five husbands. That's
gone. But now listen, to those who
believe, you say you believe the gospel and now you're going
to split. That's a real problem. That's
a serious problem. You've got a serious problem
with God Almighty. All my sins are gone, but I tell
you, for those who say they believe, God said that's a serious problem. Then his disciples said, and
I won't close, his disciples said to him, if the case of the
man is so with his wife, if you can't put her away, he said, it's better off not to
marry. And the Lord said, no, no, that's not the case. Because
the Lord instituted marriage. He instituted it. It's good.
It's good. It's good. It's good for overall
happiness. It's good because it's of God. But He said unto them, All men
cannot receive this saying. All men can't stay single. All men and women, they can't
stay single. You know, there are some who... Like Paul. Paul
stayed single. He dedicated himself to the ministry.
He dedicated himself to God in the ministry. He never married.
But he says here, that's not given to all men. That's not
given to all men. If that's not given to you, he
said, marry, go ahead and get married. But know this, what
God has joined together, let not man put it asunder. I have, as I said in the beginning
of this, God's Word is the final authority
on everything. It's the final authority, isn't
it? It's the final authority. And we submit to it. And when
we sin, whatever it is, we go to the Lord Jesus Christ for
mercy. We have an advocate with us.
If any man sins, aren't you glad it doesn't name him? And then
yours is left out? Now, if any man sin, he is an
advocate with the father. This is serious business. It's
serious business. Our Lord taught us how to deal
with an offended brother, and then he comes and he teaches
us how to deal with one another in the marriage. All right.