This is a two-part question,
and this first part is 13 minutes, a little longer than normal.
The question comes from a single woman in the church who has just
graduated high school, and she asked in two parts. First, Why
is there instruction in the New Testament by the Apostle Paul
to remain single? What would be the purpose of
that? And the second part of that question is, what usefulness
do single people have in the body of Christ and in the local
church? So I answer the first part of this question on this
file, and the second part of that question in another file.
The role of single women and single men in the church. Okay. There's two places I want to
go. This was your question from like a year ago, right? Alright. Let's go to 1 Corinthians first. If I can find it. Yep. What do you do when you've
got a nice Bible and you can't see it anymore? How thick would this be if it
had? I don't want it any bigger. I
can put this in the back pocket of my jeans. I had to start wearing
a suit. That's it. There it is. I know. That's what my daughter
keeps telling me. That's moved. 1 Corinthians chapter
7, I believe. Yep, chapter 7. There's a couple of things I
want to lead into. First of all, in chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians,
starting in verse 25. It says, now concerning the betrothed.
Now let me give you the context of what's happening here because
there's this... Greeks, Corinthians, there was
no legal marriage. There's no legal marriage in
Corinth. People just decide, we're a couple, we cohabitate,
we bring our joint properties together, we do our own thing,
but we're together. There was no husband-wife. It
was unheard of. There was no writ of divorce,
no writ of marriage, there was no license for marriage in Corinth.
It was just, you get together. So that's the people he's talking
to here. Now what's happening is, now they've got people who
aren't married, but they live together because that's what
the culture said to do. They don't understand it as live together,
they consider themselves a family. So that's the culture. They're
married by just showing up. Hey, wife! I mean, I don't know
how that worked, but they were equally invested in the mutual
agreement of marriage, which was rare in this culture, especially
in the Jewish culture. You were betrothed. You were
given. So now all of a sudden you've
got people who are unbelievers, who are pagans, who worship many
gods, and one of them comes to faith
in the gospel. And what Paul says is that now your marriage
is sanctified, because now you're actually in a marriage, not just
a civil union. Now you are a Christian, so the
confines of the boundaries of matrimony, according to Genesis
chapter 2, evidenced and perfectly illustrated Ephesians chapter
5, I say this refers to Christ in the church. The mystery is
profound. So remember, apostolic authority defines Old Testament
theology. So that we don't, the Jews couldn't
see it, we can't see it. Paul made it clear for us. So we go there and he said, but
you're the believer so you stay. Don't leave the unbelieving spouse.
But if the unbelieving spouse leaves, I'm going to be part
of this Christian mess. He said, let them go. He said,
let them go. And he talks about slavery. He talks about people not seeking
to be free, but living as they are. But if they get an opportunity
to have their freedom, take it. If not, serve the Lord as a slave.
And then he goes, now concerning the betrothed, I have no command
from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's
mercy is trustworthy. I think that in view of the present
distress, what is this? What's happening? What's the
distress? Persecution. But I think that in view of the
present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he
is. Notice what he said, it's not
a command from the Lord, it's just me and my judgment. Huh? Oh yeah. So in your current state
of distress, what's the distress? I mean, you ever seen these end
of the world movies and everything's blowing up and everything's going
to heck in a handbasket and there's romance brewing? It doesn't happen. You know, everybody's dying and
falling off cliffs and it's about to explode and they're gonna
take that last long kiss as they die together. That's bull. That's
bologna. We don't have time to make out
and get engaged and get married when the world's coming to an
end. So for all intents and purposes, in this first century city, the
world was coming to an end for these people. Their lives as
they knew it was over. People found out they were Christians,
they didn't sell them anything, they didn't shop with them, they
didn't deal with them, they didn't like talking to them, and eventually
Roman persecution came to the point where they would be arrested
and driven out. to be refugees out in the deserts.
So Paul's saying, I'm not saying not follow through with your
commitment, just understand what you're getting in. It'd be better if you just remain
single. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. In other
words, if you've got a wife, please don't leave her. Stay
the way you are. Are you free from a wife? Don't
seek a wife. I mean, think about it for a
minute. But if you do marry, you have not sinned. And if a
betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who
marry will have worldly troubles, and I would love to spare you
that." That's what he says. Now keep in mind, now listen,
we're not, it ain't the end of the world for us. Life is easy
in America. Life is good in the United States.
It is good. It is easy-peasy, cheesy-wheezy,
all the time, Sunny River, Lazy Susan down the, what do they
call that thing? Lazy River. Lazy Susan is the
thing that spins on the table. Lazy River. All right, either
way, if you're spinning on the table, lazy, easy-peasy. So we're
in that position, and even now, in that position, life is trouble. I want to spare you that, so
stay single." But that's not the context, and keep in mind
it's not a command. He's saying this is probably
wise. I mean, there have been times, and I'll just give you
an example. where a brother in Calais from
Greenville, and he's one of the only people I know in the country
who is actually on the ground witnessing and planting churches
with indigenous refugee Islamic people in the United States.
The only person I know to this date. And he was single for a
long time, and a lot of that had to do with the fact that
he was in a position where nothing he does can be public. Nothing
he does can be printed. Nothing he does is safe. And
when he goes to Afghanistan with thousands and thousands and ten
thousands of dollars strapped to his body like a drug dealer
and Bibles hidden inside of his underwear and stuff like that,
and if he gets caught they're gonna cut his head off, he's
thinking to himself, I don't really need a wife in this kind
of life. But lo and behold, out of the blue, a couple of years
back, I'm getting married. And I thought, you have lied
to her. But he told her about it, and
she's all in. So they're all in together, and
they've been to Kabul and taking their children in the line of
fire as missionaries to Afghanistan. And it just, they're fine with
it. They're fine with it. This is like your parents. They're
fine with it. I mean, I'm sure your dad, as
Mike has told you all his stories, I mean, he readily just thinks
he'll probably be buried on the beach over there. And he'll just
celebrate seeing Jesus one day. And that's the life you have
to have as a Christian in times of persecution. And when you're
a missionary in a hostile ground, if you're not married, don't
worry. Why is that somewhat wisdom? Even though it's not a command,
why is it wise? Well, let me tell you something. There could
be 5,000 people in this room. And we all love each other. But
if something explodes, where are you looking? You're going
to grab the family. I mean, y'all are going to grab
each other. You're going to be looking for your kids. Jack's going to be like,
I'm by myself tonight, but I'm out of here. You know, but if
your grandbaby or wife were here, you know, we'd have our eyes
on these people. Because that's what happens. Because that's
what's natural. That's what's required of us.
We've got to take care of our family. And once we see they're
safe, then we'll help everybody else along the way. But we're
not going to see our kid over there about to die and go run
over here and grab somebody else. We're going to always just instinctively
grab over here. So if we're in this type of hostility
and we're not bound to each other in marriage, then just stay like
that because it'll be easier for you. Because otherwise you're
going to have trouble. When people come and knock on your door to
take you out of prison because you're a Christian and you're
trying to sneak out the window, but you can't because you've got
a family you've got to deal with, you're probably just going to
go to jail trying to get them out of the house or to protect
their lives or to worry about their lives. I mean, I think
death is easy. I think having my children charted
off on a train somewhere else beside me would be awful. And
I think that's sort of the mindset that Paul had there. But he goes
on to say, this is what I mean, brothers, the appointed time
has grown very short. From now on, let those who have
wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as
though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though
they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they
have no goods, and those who deal with the world as though
they had no dealings with it, and the present form of this
world is passing away. What's the point? I want you
to be free from the anxieties of the pressures of decisions
and things that you have to do, because in this present time,
your life is short. And the purpose that you live
with the little bit of time you've got right now is not to bed down
and start a home, but it's to get up and go preach the gospel
as long as you're breathing. And that's why it's so natural
for us to pray that God would bring persecution, because it
brings expansion of the gospel. As more and more suffer, grace
extends to more and more people, which gives thanksgiving to God,
is what Paul says in 2 Corinthians. So that's a mindset that we need
to understand. I have counseled a lot of people,
a lot of young men, through the years, who, in their mind, they're
going to be single forever. What am I going to do? How am
I going to find a wife? I'm going to put an ad on Facebook or something.
And I told him, like I tell them all, I said, just be content
where you are, and God will bring that person in your life, in
the midst of being obedient to what you're doing, that person
will come. But if you go out hunting, God's
going to let you find what you're looking for. And then you're
gonna end up being something, you're gonna have anxiety. And
you're gonna have to live with the anxiety and you're gonna
have to deal with it. Don't worry about it. And he don't want you
to be worried about. not divorcing, but he doesn't
want you to be worried about the division of worrying, do
I serve the Lord or do I serve my family? And as a pastor, and
Jesse can already attest to this, what are you, nine months in? Full time? I mean, you know,
it's radically different when you're trying to serve the Lord
than when you're just working in a job. It's still hard, But
it's radically different, because there is an exponentially aggressive
spiritual warfare that takes place in the serving of the Lord. Not just for pastors, but anybody
who desires to live a godly life. And that's something that's a
lot harder to do when you've got a family. Paul did not command
it. He said, this is probably wise
for you. I don't personally hold to that.
I just hold to the idea. Now, if things were bad, I mean,
it's like, you know, we're running for our lives and digging holes,
and Jacob's like, Dad, I think I want to get married. I'm like,
son, you've got better to do. Here's a shovel. We ain't got time for
that. But in our day, I think if the
Lord grants the gift of celibacy and singleness, which is gift
and it's something that the church needs, because if we're single,
man, can we do a lot for the Lord. I'm telling you, we can
do a lot for the Lord. A lot. Why? Because I have no
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