Proverbs 22. I apologize if these
are a little bit sketchy, a little
rambling on my part, but this is not my forte dealing with
a subject. I'm doing the best I can. There
are certainly no books other than this book to go by. Here is our text we've been using
as a foundation, verse 6, Proverbs 22. Train up a child in the way
he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from
it. And we tried to establish in
the beginning that the Lord is not talking about salvation here.
We can't save our children. But he's talking about the way
that he should go according to God's word. There's explicit
instructions for us and our children. And today we're going to talk
about respect for authority. We started these studies last
Sunday by establishing that God's word is the authority. God's
word. Let God be true and every man
a liar. We need to reject most modern
thought and philosophy on this subject. Absolutely. Scripture
says, Hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? Modern psychology is based on
this, that man is basically good. Our children are basically good. And they'll turn out alright
if we just push the right good buttons and so forth. That's
not what this book says. That's not what God says. It
says we're born bad. Yes, our children are born wild,
needing to be tamed. That sounds tough. It gets tougher. This is a tough
thing. But, you know, a mere casual
glance at the youth today will tell you. And perhaps, you know, there
have been some wild generations. Mine was a wild one in the 60s,
70s. It was pretty wild. I didn't
think it could get any worse. A mere casual glance will tell
you that this is maybe one of the wildest generations ever,
and I believe it's a sign of the very end times. This is an
in-your-face generation. In-your-face. totally rebellious
to any and all authority. I blame it on the pulpit. I blame
it on this right here. This is where it all started
to go wrong, that is. Go with me to 2 Timothy 3. 2
Timothy chapter 3. You know, when men ceased to
proclaim God as God and the fear of the Lord was not preached
and taught, And it began to have serious ramifications. It filtered down into all of
society, this no fear. No fear of God, therefore no
fear of anything, anyone else. And you know, if there's no authority,
there's no justice, is there? Justice means certain consequences. That's what justice means, whether
good or bad. No authority, no justice. God's
not our judge first, and we don't have to answer to him or anybody.
There's no consequence. If there's no justice, there's
no fear. If there's no fear, then what
you've got is pride and haughtiness and rebellion and in your face.
And you can't tell me what to do. I'm going to do what I please.
It doesn't matter. 2 Timothy 3, verses 1 through 5,
tell us the last days will be perilous, dangerous, terrible
times. Verse 2, men will be lovers of
their own selves. Next Sunday we're going to deal
with this thing of self-love. This is the whole problem. Self-love. How self-love has got to be tamed
in our children. We can't take it out. Only God
can. But it's got to be tamed. It's
the first thing God does to his children. Read on. Lovers of self, covetous, boasters,
proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,
without natural affection, truce breakers, the word doesn't mean
a thing, false accusers, gossipers, slanderers, incontinent, can't
restrain passions, fierce, violent, despisers of those that are good,
traitors, heady, high-minded, Lovers of pleasure more than
lovers of God, having a form of godliness, a lot of religion,
but they deny the power, and that word is authority thereof. That's the word, authority. Denying the authority. So here's really the first lesson. The first one last week was,
this is the word. Let's establish that right now.
What God says is true, that every man be a liar on any subject. All right, now here's the first
lesson on this thing of a biblical child discipline. The first lesson
in salvation, too, is this. Someone reigns over us. Someone rules us. Authority. Authority. And whoever reigns and rules
over us is to be feared, to be reverenced, to be respected,
to be obeyed unquestionably. That hard? That's what this book
is. And I think we'll see that all
our personal problems, our children and society and everything comes
from breaking that very first rule. Well, we as parents must first
rule our children, be in authority, be in charge. That what we say
and do, now, as I said, it may be a little bit sketchy, a little
bit here and there, but it's because I'm learning to do this. But as we said last week, this
thing of love is the root of everything we do as parents.
It's the foundation. What we do, we do out of love
to them, in love to them. So that's the foundation in our
hearts and minds. But the first thing, though,
our children need to learn, though, is that we are their parents. That we are the authority. We
are in charge. That what we say and do goes. No questions asked. Remember we said last week that
God is our God first, our Father? We'll find out later, right? And isn't this the first thing
we learn concerning our God in salvation? Fear the Lord. Fear the Lord. And then we hear
and we learn He's our Father. We don't quit fearing Him, do
we? We don't quit reverencing or
respecting Him. Go to Judges 21 with me. Judges,
the book of Judges 21. So this is the first thing, the
first lesson is this thing of authority, that we are the authority. We rule, we rule in love, but
we rule. We make demands, we make demands. Remember what the Lord said of
Abraham? He said, I know him. He will command his children. Doesn't mean he'll bribe them
and prod them and plead with them and beg them and trick them
and entice them and love them. He'll command them. He'll command
them. We make commands. We do it in
love. We do it out of love. The reason
we do it is It's love for them, but nevertheless, we command.
We rule. We make demands, not requests.
If there is no authority, here's the point. If there's no authority,
if there's no one in charge, if it's every man for himself, you've got nothing but trouble. And this started in the garden,
didn't it? Didn't it start with Adam in the garden? God says,
I am God. Right here is your one restraint,
boundary. You can't have this. No. And when Adam, a rebellious child,
rebelled, all hell broke loose. Didn't it? How unreasonable for him to withhold
that from Adam. That's plum ignorant, isn't it?
And so are we as parents. If no authority, no one in charge,
every man to himself, we've got nothing but trouble. Verse 25
of Judges 21, the last verse says this, In those days there
was no king in Israel. Every man did that which was
right in his own eyes. And what does Scripture say about
that which is right to man? There is a way which seemeth
right to man, but the end is what? Destruction. It's death. Death. A way that seems right. Our way, our natural way, our
children's natural way and propensity is all wrong. We're born wrong. We won't go right. It won't turn
out all right. God gives us the wisdom to train
them up. They won't turn out all right. So there's a voice of authority. That's a principle that comes
down from God. This thing of authority. It's
necessary for all aspects of life. I hope our young people
can listen to this. It's directed at parents. And
I'm glad you're here, young people, because from here on out, you
can just blame me, okay? Don't get mad at your parents.
No, don't blame me. This is God. This is God. Don't
get mad at anybody for that matter. Law is a good thing. You know
that? Law is not the problem. Didn't
Paul write that? What's the fault in the law?
It's not the law, it's the weakness of the flesh. God's law is holy. It's just
as good. It's true. It's good. What if
God had never made any laws? Huh? Law's good. Those who enforce
it are good. Isn't that a good thing that
we've got not lawyers? You know, down in Savannah, Georgia,
George Whitefield partially responsible for building that town and establishing
it. George Whitfield, the preacher.
And he put a sign up, no Catholics or lawyers allowed in this town. I'm not talking about lawyers.
They don't enforce the law. They twist it. They get around
it. Lawyers. But judges, law enforcement
officers, isn't it good? Isn't it good that there are
laws? Boy, we hate 45 miles per hour through certain places.
Well, just do however fast you want to go. Don't be afraid to get in your
car. The laws are good. The commandments hold it just
good. Those who enforce it are not
a terror to good works, Peter wrote, not a terror to good work.
The law is not made for a righteous man. You can tap my phone all
you want. I don't care if a government
taps my phone. If they're out after terrorists, fine. Tap everybody's
phone. Honest people don't worry about
it. The law's good, isn't it? It's for lawbreakers. It restrains. Isn't it a good thing? It restrains. If you're a lawbreaker, you don't
like it. Now, once again, I'm not talking
about salvation here. You know that. We're not under
the law. How do I say all that again? Every time? No. No, I
don't. But in every aspect of society,
there's authority. It begins with God. It is down
through the years. We've said before that the greatest
type of government is a monarchy, a king. That's what God first
established, a king. The judges, there was no king,
but you know who was king? Moses. He was king. He didn't
have a title, but he was, wasn't he? Well, I thought about that. Joshua, king of the Jews. Jesus,
this is the New Testament, king of the Jews. Joshua, king. No king for a while, and it was
a mess, wasn't it? And then Samuel came along. He
was king. David, king. It's a good thing,
isn't it, if you've got a good one? Governors. It goes on down through
officers in the military and in civilian life. Superintendents on the job, teachers
at school. Far it has got to be. Romans
13. Go to Romans 13 with me. Romans chapter 13. Now, you know
this old saying. You've heard it all your life.
The boss may not always be right, but what's the rest of it? He's always the boss. And as
we said, any good saying we get, anything that makes sense or
is true, it's a derivative of something from God's Word. You
know that? And in what we're dealing with,
parents certainly are not always right. Parents, especially new parents,
are learning to be parents. That's why what we're doing right
now is such a good thing, isn't it? I never heard anything like
this when I was a young parent. And I'm not saying I'm an expert,
but I have learned a little bit.
But anyway, parents certainly are not always right. I think
when you get older, you wish you could do it all over again,
don't you? Don't you, Nancy? You wish you could try it again.
A lot of things that I was so insistent upon, I didn't need
to, and a lot of things I should have been and I wasn't. And on
and on it goes. A lot of mistakes made. But the
parent may not always be right, but they are always the parent. Romans 13, this applies to all
authority. Verse 1. Young, old, male, female,
be subject unto the higher powers. There is no power but of God. You remember when Paul wrote
this, don't you? When they were under the most oppressive, tyrannical
regime or government in the history of mankind. Nero. Right, Ed? Nero. He'd kill you if he didn't
like the way you looked. And nobody answered it. This word does not teach rebellion
of any sort against anybody. Paul said obey. He said it will
go well with you if you just submit. It will go well with
you. No power but of God. The powers
that be, verse 1, are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth
the power resisteth the ordinance. the order of God, then they that
resist shall receive to themselves damnation." Here it is. Rulers
are not a terror to good work, but to evil. You'd be afraid
of the power? Do that which is good. You'll
have praise of the same. Do the speed limit? You don't
have a thing to worry about. You know, it is a pretty good
feeling. You don't need to be proud of yourself, but it's a
pretty good feeling when you're driving through a town and you
don't normally feel this way because some of us You probably
never have this feeling. You look in your mirror and you
see a policeman behind you. Now, the first thing the law
does is what? It strikes fear in you. Then you look down. I'm doing
this feeling. Come on by. Hey, how you doing? We're friends, aren't we? Yep.
Law abiding. You don't need to be proud of
yourself, but nevertheless, you don't need to fear him. Right? Don't have to fear him. That's
what he's saying here. He's a minister of God to thee
for good. Minister of God in authority. That's what he's saying. Powers that be are ordained of
God. Now, as a child, should we fear
our parents? Absolutely. As a child, I fear. And this goes for mothers. Women,
I hope you're listening carefully. Because the nature of the sexes,
they don't have that voice of authority. They don't instill
and command that fear, that respect that fathers do. The mere voice
of a father, just sound. This is why preachers are men.
You know that? You know that? That's just one
practical reason preachers are men. The voice. More authority in it. But children
need to fear their mother as much as their father. Respect. My father's sister, Martha. Some of you have met her before. Little woman. Real small lady. About five foot tall. Real tiny, cold man. Is she a firecracker? She had
three sons. They were pissless. Three sons. They feared that woman. They stood at attention. She
loved them dearly. They love them today. All they
do, they lay their lives down for their mama. But buddy, when
mama said something, Mama minutes, just like Daddy. That way you're
not pitting a father against a mother and a mother against
a father. Well, it's respect for authority. I feared my father as a child. It wasn't a slavish fear. I mean, being terrified. I wasn't terrified of him. No,
but I respected his authority. And I feared the certain consequences
of rebelling against that heart. Oh, did I fear the certain consequences. And they were certain. And it
must be so. This is the rule here. This is
the principle I'm trying to learn here. It must be so as for our
good. As we said, children are born,
we are born, unregenerate, ignorant. sinful, rebellious. Children
must be commanded first. You know, children can't be reasoned
with. They don't have any experience to go on to reason. They can't
understand a thing you're doing. They don't understand a thing
you're saying. Don't do that. Why? I don't understand why.
They don't have any experience, the consequences of doing what
you're trying to keep them doing. They don't have any experience
of it. You know, the Lord chastens us
more with His Word than He does anything. Aren't you glad? If we just listen and just do
what He says. We don't have to learn the hard
way. We will have to learn that way
by experience, won't we? It will go better with us if
we just listen. The children must be commanded. The children
must be restrained. Children must be taught, led.
Children must be instructed, reprimanded. Children are born
foolish. Proverbs says that. Foolishness
is bound up in the heart of a child. That's what God's Word says.
Children are unwise if left to themselves, Proverbs says. A
child left to himself will be a grief to his mother, to his
father, and bring himself to destruction. They'll perish without restraints,
boundaries. They'll destroy themselves. And
we don't like it. Children don't like it. We're
not born liking restraints, boundaries. You know, the Scripture says
the strength of sin is a law, isn't it? When we're told not
to do something, what do we want to do? When we're told not to
go there, where do we want to go? If someone places any restraints
whatsoever on us, what do we do? I don't like this. Why? Because we're born wild. And so, this lesson of authority
begins with God. God first tells all of his children,
whom he reveals himself to, all of his children, I, doesn't he
say this over and over again, I am God. I am the Lord, doesn't it? And that's the first thing we
hear from our God. I am the Lord. Now, is that cruel? Is he being hard? You know, there's
a big difference between hard and firm. They'd be firm. Resolute. And you can do that without being
hard. This lesson is good. God who tells his children, I
am God and I am the Lord, that's good. It's good. Do as he says
because he says. We cannot fully understand. This
is a lesson that we will learn all our lives or need to, that
I am God. It doesn't matter how old we
get, we still don't understand God's ways. And as children, to our parents,
we learn too late. Almost, don't we? We learn too
late. This lesson continues with parents
and in society, school, work, government, and so forth. Do
as you're told, when you're told, because you're told. And it will go well with you.
That's the principle. My father preached a message
years ago. I'll never forget it, nor will
anyone that really heard it. Submission, the key to happiness. It begins with submission to
God in all aspects. It will go well with you. This
is one reason I wish, Mother Lee, that at least two years
of military service was mandatory for all young men. I really do. If I was president,
I'd try to get that. Mothers? I really do. It's a good thing. Was it good
for you, Brother Henry? John, was it good for you? Ron,
good for you? Clayton? What do you think about
these men that have been through it? Charles, was it a good thing? This teaches respect. There's a military academy in
Virginia, the state of Virginia. I forget the name of it. I love
their ad. They have an ad in many magazines
that says this. We teach a foreign language. Yes sir and yes ma'am. Foreign language. Boy, if a child
can learn that, and really learn it, You're going to get the best
job. And on and on it'll go. That's
right. That's right. Who would you hire? A fellow
like that right there? Or some fellow that walks in
with his pants hanging down? Huh? Who would you hire? You know, young people, you young
people, These so-called freaks and all that at school. Wild young people are not happy. They're not happy. They're putting
on this front like they're free and happy and doing their own
thing. They're miserable. That's why they're the ones that
generally end up killing everybody and killing themselves. They're not happy. They're miserable. Rebellious children are not happy
and are miserable. Let's talk about restraints for
a minute. Restraints and boundaries and
the word no. The most effective word in the
English language. Therefore, seeing we have such
hope, we use great plainness of speech. Restraints and boundaries. An
unrestrained, unbridled child or animal. are a danger to themselves
and a danger to others. Listen again. An unrestrained
child or animal, and I say that because I'm going to use this
illustration, but unrestrained, they are a danger to themselves
and to others. There's a fellow on TV called
the Dog Whisperer. Anybody ever watched him? He's
worth watching. Parents ought to watch him. Parents ought to watch this fella.
I learned a lot. He teaches every dog. He comes
in every home he comes in to. He's a good little dog. He's
good. He just wants to bite everybody that comes in. He's a good little
dog. He just barks at everybody. He's a good little dog. He pees
on the road. He's a good little dog. There's nothing good about
him. But they love him so much. I love little Fifi. He's a good
little dog, basically, he just doesn't know what to do. The
first thing he says is, he's running you. This dog is running
this house. You've turned into the dog, and
he's the owner. Same thing can be said about
a lot of children. That two-year-old is running
this house. And the first thing, though,
that dog whisperer does is put that little Fifi, who's just
run bouncing off the walls, on a leash. How cruel. He's actually got to sit still. How mean. The best thing you can do for
him. Restrain him. Restraints. Boundaries. A dog let loose, a dog let go,
go on. What's going to happen to it?
Just go on. What's going to happen? It's going to kill itself, run into
the path of a car, get in trouble, get incarcerated, euthanize it. It's no different with children.
It really isn't. Brother Kelly, he'll tell you
about the horses. They're not born good, they're
born wild. First thing you do, put a heart
on it. Teach it to stand still. Put
a lead rope on it. Tie it up. Back in my tree-hugging
days, I thought that might have been cruel, you know. Tie it
up. What's wrong with that? It'll
only hurt itself if it kicks and bucks and fights and so forth.
It'll only hurt itself. My little dog Abner, he's a pretty
good dog, isn't he? Anybody think he's a pretty good
dog? Anybody? You got a better dog? I challenge
you. We'll put our dogs up against
one another. He's a good dog, isn't he? Why?
Because when he was about ten weeks old, eight weeks old, I
forget how old he was, I put a leash on him. I started training
him, restraining him. He walked by me. You don't walk
in front of him. You walk by him. You don't get
to run everywhere you want to run. You do what I say. Now at
first, when I first did that, I didn't hurt him. I wasn't hurting
him. There's no way I'd hurt him. Get him in me. I love that guy. You think I
love the way I hurt him? You'd have thought I was killing
him. Wow, that's just rebellion. Oh, I don't want that guy to
kill me. I don't want to run. No, you're going to hurt yourself.
If you do what I say. The more you settle down and
restrain yourself, I won't have to restrain you. The more you
restrain yourself, I'll let your leash hang a little bit. Until now, you know, I don't
have to even put him on a leash. We go walk around the neighborhood,
I say, heal him. He's right there. Right? You see these people with dogs,
you know, and this is not dog training class, but you're getting
the lesson. People who walk in their dog. People who are raising their
children. Now, they're being raised. Authority. Now, here's the thing. Boundaries,
restraints, being things off limits are necessary because
a child does not If a child does not learn in the very beginning
to submit to restraints, they're going to hurt themselves. They're
going to hurt themselves. Listen to me. We had it. We burned
wood. When our daughter was born, we
burned wood 24 hours a day. That's how I heated my whole
house. And we had a wood stove right
smack in the middle of our house. And you know what wood stoves,
you know, when you fire them up, they're cherry red. And I tried, you know, I tried
to put a little boundary around it and all that, but what I did
do, what we did do, is just establish in Hannah's little mind, you
know, little, young, two-year-old, younger than that, hot. She doesn't
know what hot is. You know that? She did not know
what hot was. I couldn't reason to her, this
is hot. Sure didn't want her to find
out, did I? So what do we have to do? No. How mean. Is that cruel? Is that mean? Is it mean to say
no and mean it? And if they don't do it, and this
applies to everything. It's the first word. In Exodus chapter 20, I was going
to have you turn, but we don't have time. We're running out
of time. Eight out of ten commandments,
the first commandments our Lord gave to Moses to give to the
people were the ten commandments. There were many more after that,
weren't there? But the first were ten commandments. Eight
out of ten are no. The first three are no. Thou
shalt not have any other gods before me. Thou shalt not take
the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Thou shalt not make
into thee any graven images. No. Does he mean it? Certainly. Thou shalt not covet. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt
not kill. Thou shalt not bear false witness.
Thou shalt not. No. Nothing wrong with saying
no. The only thing wrong is not saying
no. Not saying no. Let me give you
an example. A little small child, and they
do this. Curiosity. Young people, children are full
of curiosity. You know what curiosity did to
the cat, don't you? The little child left, you know, just grabbing
things all the time. I know they're curious. I know
they're curious. Well, if you don't, learn to
say no. And if you don't want them to
touch something or grab something, then put it up. But if you're
not willing to do that, then just say no. Is that wrong? Say
no. Because they might grab a butcher
knife. They might grab a hot pan off the stove and scar them
for life. Isn't it better to hurt feelings
than to be insulted? No. You hurt their little feelings.
They need hurt. To keep them from really being
hurt. Really. No. No. And this begins at the home.
It begins at the home. We set boundaries. We set these
boundaries. It's hard work. We're going to
talk about this throughout it. Whatever you set, whatever boundaries,
rules, laws or whatever, whatever you say, you better be prepared
to enforce it. This is why I said in the beginning
that there were things that I was so insistent on that now I think
I wish I hadn't, things I didn't and I wish I had. But whatever
you need to enforce, you've got to. You've got to. There's this
thing called respect and then it builds trust. Trust. No means no. And certain consequences
of not doing what when I say no. Certain consequences. And
it's not always the severity of the consequences, but it is
the certainty of it. You understand? And it builds trust. Daddy means
no. He's going to do what he says.
Mama means no. They're going to do what they
say. And it will also spill over into
everything. If you say yes to it, you know, the quicker they
learn no and respond well to no, the more yeses there will
be. Right? Brother Kelly, you know,
a horse that learns to be tied up and restrained and so forth.
What if a horse is easily caught? What if you have a horse on your
farm that's easily caught? He just comes to you when you
call him and he does what you tell him to do. Well, you'll
turn him out the pasture won't you? He'll be the best if you
be willing and obedient, you'll eat the good of the land. If
not, I'm going to tell you to stop. Right? It'll go well with you. I'm not
trying to hurt you, I'm trying to keep you from hurting yourself.
No. No. First lesson, no. Does everybody know what no means?
What does no mean? Does no mean, well, maybe. Does no mean no the first time?
Should no mean no the first time? It's not maybe. It's not no doesn't
mean time out. No doesn't mean if you do that
again. No doesn't mean if you do that again. No means now. No doesn't mean a one, two. This is the nature of a child.
If you keep that up, later on it'll be 999, 1,000. and not listen to you whatsoever,
and they'll take you to the limit. No. You mean no? Absolutely. Absolutely. And yes means yes,
with certain rewards. It's trust. And trust works both
ways, you know. A child, a young person builds
trust. I'm out of time. I'm going way
ahead of myself here. Curfew is a boundary and it's
a restraint. Is it mean? Is it cruel? We set one for our
daughter when she was in school. My dad did us. And I know now
that there's nothing good out there on the streets after midnight.
Nothing but drunks and trouble. Maybe you're not doing it, but
somebody else is and they might run smack dab over you and kill
you. So they're keeping you from that.
It's not cruel. It's right. It's love. It's love. And yes means yes. Yes means
yes. Keep letting out the rain. Keep
letting out the rain. If you don't pull it to bit,
you can have your head. Right? If you don't pull it to
bit, You know, bits are designed to enforce just a little bit
of pain. You know, cruelly. You know, God said they're good.
Bits. Enforce a little bit of pain.
And the more rebellious a horse, the more severe the bit. But
if you just don't fight it, you don't even feel it. You won't even mind it. Don't even mind it. I could ride
old Molly. No, she's not. Ride her with
a halter without a hip. Anyway. Yes, I could maybe. And so it's better off to have
a child with restraints, to learn the word no, have their feelings
hurt. Oh, my. And what we're going to talk
about next week, what we're going to talk about is what that is all about,
these hurt feelings and resentment and all that. It's self. Self. It's all about self. Love of
self. We're born loving ourselves.
We're born pitying ourselves. We're born thinking the world
exists for us. If everybody didn't make us happy,
starting with Daddy and Mama, we're not happy. It can't be killed in a young
person, but it can be tamed. It can be restrained. And that's
what we as parents, we need to pray that God will do the real
work of killing self.