speak to Robin. 1 Corinthians
10, I'm going to read the first 13 verses and try to deal with
those. Moreover, brethren, I would mock
that you should be ignorant, how that all our fathers were
under the cloud, and all passed through the sea, and were all
baptized unto Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and did all eat
the same spiritual meat, did all drink the same spiritual
drink, for they drank of that spiritual rock that followed
them, and that rock was Christ. But with many of them God was
not well pleased, for they were overthrown in the wilderness.
Now these things were our examples to the intent. We should not
lust after evil things as they also lusted. Neither be idolaters
as were some of them. As it is written, the people
sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play. Neither let
us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in
one day three and twenty thousand. Neither let us tempt Christ,
as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents.
Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were
destroyed of the destroyer. Now all these things happen unto
them for examples, and they are written for our admonition, upon
whom the ends of the world are come. Wherefore let him that
thinketh he standeth, think he lest he fall. There hath no temptation
taken you, but such as is common to man. But God is faithful,
who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you are able,
but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that
you may be able to bear it." Now here we see several warnings,
things that happened to Israel in the wilderness. And the church
at Corinth, they had lots and lots of problems. They had factions,
they had divisions. Some of them were living in open
sin. They were plagued with intellectualism and all kinds of wrong practices
that crept into the midst. And so some of them had a vain
confidence. They had a false confidence,
a presumption. And here, beloved, Paul says
before the Corinthian people, and before all of us, The example
of Israel, the church in the wilderness, and all of these
Israelites here that he's talking about, they enjoyed God-given
privileges that no other nation on the earth had. No other nation
had been brought out of Egypt the way God promised to bring
them out. Nobody else had a prophet, nobody else had the priesthood,
nobody else walked through the Red Sea on dry land. And so here,
they enjoyed special privileges of God, the special favor of
God, and they even saw the gospel in type. The gospel was exposed
to them in type. And that's why he talks about
spiritual meat, spiritual drink. And yet most of them, enjoying
these privileges, most of them perished in the wilderness. They
ended up perishing in that wilderness. That's something we need to pay
attention to here. They end up perishing. And the first thing
Paul says here is this, and they fell under God's judgment. I
mean, God's the one that caused them to perish. God's the one
that brought them down. God's the one who plagued them.
But he says here, moreover, brethren, I would not that you should be
ignorant. That's one of Paul, he said this I don't know how
many times, I don't want you to be ignorant. How did all of
our fathers run to the cloud and pass through the Red Sea?
And what he said, I don't want you to be ignorant, I want you
to understand what happened to Israel when they passed through
the Red Sea, and concerning this business of perseverance of saints,
perseverance in the faith, and perseverance in obedience, and
perseverance in conducting yourself as a believer. And all of the
people of Israel, every single one of them, were led by the
cloud. Do you remember God led them by a cloud of a day and
a fire at night? And he put the fire on them at
night to keep the enemy away, cloud over them by day so that
the sun wouldn't beat on them. And he said here that they all
passed through the cloud, all of Israel went through that cloud.
That cloud was for all of them. And every single one of them
passed safely through the Red Sea. Now, this is what they done
when they come out of Egypt. And then it says in verse 2,
And all were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the
sea. Now what in the world does this mean, baptized into Moses?
Well, what this means is when they went into that cloud and
they went into that sea, they went in there following Moses
as their appointed leader, as their appointed prophet, as their
appointed deliverer. He was their deliverer. God sent
him down there to deliver them. And when they acknowledged his
position and they followed him in that cloud and they followed
him into that sea, they were typically baptized into Moses,
being the leader, which is typically of us being baptized into Christ. They acknowledged Him as the
leader. They followed Him into that cloud. They followed Him
into that Red Sea. And by that action, they were
baptized into Moses. And that was just a picture of
our baptism in Christ. And every one of us being baptized,
which identifies us with the Lord Jesus. Now watch what it
says in verse 3. and did all eat the same spiritual
meat." Spiritual meat. Now, those who perished in the
wilderness, they all ate the same spiritual and food that
was given to them. Now, what is he talking about
spiritual food? He's talking about the manna that came down
from heaven. It was supernaturally given. You know, they was murmuring,
and we'll deal with that later, but here they come. They wanted
something to eat. They needed something to eat
in the wilderness. God gave them manna. He called it angel's food. It
came down from heaven. God sent it down. And it came
down from heaven. That's why it's called spiritual
food. It's supernatural food. And you have just enough for
the day. And why it's called spiritual food, because it also
speaks about the Lord Jesus Christ as our bread, as the bread of
life Himself. And oh, beloved, and I tell you
what, they all super, they ate the same food that Moses ate,
Caleb ate, Joshua ate. all of those who went on into
Canaan. And manna is called spiritual food here, first of all, because
it was a bread that came down from heaven. You know, our Lord
Jesus Christ said this. When He talked about being that
bread from heaven, they said, How in the world can He say He
came down from heaven and that He's that bread? And He says,
Your fathers did eat manna, and the wildernesses are dead. But
My Father giveth you the true bread, which cometh down from
heaven." Talking about himself. Talking about himself. And secondly,
because it signified Christ who is that true bread. And they
actually ate the same spiritual bread we eat, but they only done
it in type, and we eat Christ right now by faith. They ate
him in type, we eat him by faith. And then look what he says here
in verse 4. And did all drink the same spiritual
drink, For they drank of that rock. You see how that rock is
capitalized? That's a name, that's a title
of our Lord Jesus Christ. And then what's this? And that
rock followed them. And that rock was Christ. Not
only did they eat the same spiritual meat, same spiritual bread, supernaturally
given, but they all drank the same water from a spiritual rock
And this is one of the mysteries of the gospel. This is one of
the mysteries of the Word of God. It says that rock followed
them. Now, how does a rock follow you? If that rock is Christ and
God calls it to follow you, it's going to follow you. And they
were in that wilderness for 40 years and the Scripture says
that that rock followed them. For they drank of that spiritual
rock. And our Lord Jesus Christ said, I'm the water. If any man
is thirsty, let him come unto me and let him drink. He told
that woman at the well, if you knew the gift of God, you would
have asked of Him, and He would have given you a drink that you
would never thirst to get. And you wouldn't come here to
be satisfied by it. And so he went on to say here
that that rock, it was Christ in type and in picture. And I'll
tell you one way it was, because it was smitten. That rock was
smitten. It wouldn't get any water until
it was smitten. And Paul is telling these Corinthians that all of
Israel in the wilderness, They were a people that knew about
Christ, knew about the blessings of God, knew about supernatural
things. The water was supernatural, the food was supernatural, went
through the Red Sea supernaturally. Everything that took place in
their lives was, you know, and here they was, they've gone there,
and they were a privileged people, partakers of things that revealed
the gospel and redemption in Christ, and yet they perished.
And yet they perished. Let me show you over in Hebrews
3. What a warning, what a solemn warning. Look in Hebrews 3. Hebrews 3. In verse 6. Oh, and Christ is also called
a rock in a weary land. But here it says in verse 6,
But Christ as a Son over His own house, whose house are we,
if we hold, now this if here is not an if of condition, but
an if of evidence, if we hold fast to confidence and rejoicing
of the hope firm unto the end. Now watch this, Wherefore as
the Holy Ghost saith today, if you will hear His voice, Harden
not your hearts as in the provocation. You know how many times God was
provoked in the wilderness? And in the day of temptation
in the wilderness, when your fathers tempted me, proved me,
and saw my works forty years, saw my works forty years, and
I was grieved with that generation, and said, They do always err
in their heart, and they have not known my ways. So I swear
in my wrath, they're not going to enter into my rest. They're
not going to enter in. And so he says, Take heed, brethren,
Lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing
from the living God. But exhort one another daily,
right today, while it's now, that's what we're doing now,
while it's called today. Lest any of you be hardened,
and listen to this, through the deceitfulness of sin. There's
nothing more deceitful on topside of God's earth than sin. Sin
is so deceitful. It always promises you more than
it can give. It'll promise you pleasure and
end up bringing you pain. It'll promise you happiness and
end up bringing you sorrow. It'll promise you the best life
that you... You know, men have looked at
somebody else and said, I want that. That's what I want. And
then they lose it. And I tell you, sin is so deceitful
it makes men stand and say, I don't need God. It's so deceitful that
makes men stand and say, I'm all right before God. Sin is
so deceitful it makes people think that they're all right
when everything about them says they're all wrong. Has it ever deceived you? Oh, Paul said sin, James says
sin when it deceives us, brings forth sin. Lust when it deceives
us brings forth sin and sin death. Oh, sin will deceive you. It
makes you think more of yourself than you are. Make you think
you understand more than you do. Make you profess more than
you ought to profess. Make a hypocrite Brag about how
righteous and how good he is. Oh, God save us from the deceitfulness
of sin. Oh, sin. Oh, sin is so deceitful. Oh, you know, just take a bite
of that. Just take a bite of it. It's
good. It's good. That's what Satan told me. Take a bite. Take a bite. Take
a bite. It's good. You know what it's going to do
for you? It's going to open your eyes. You're going to see things
you've never seen. You're going to have enjoyments
you've never had. You're going to have glory you've never had.
You're going to have power you've never had. Just go on eating.
Look where God is. That's how deceitful sin is.
God, save us. Save me. Save me from it. Oh, please don't let sin deceive
me. And what He goes on to say there in verse 14, For we are
made fortakers of Christ. Those folks were baptized in
the cloud, baptized in the sea, baptized under Moses, ate that
spiritual food, drank from that spiritual rock, and they perished
in the wilderness. For we are made for takers of
Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast unto
the end. Alright, let's go back over in
our text. And it's like Larry prayed, he
said, How shall a man escape if he neglects so great a salvation? But he says here in verse 5,
And that rock followed them, and that rock was Christ. They
all drank out of it. All of them did. But with many
of them God was not well pleased, for they were overthrown in the
wilderness. Now these things were our examples
to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also
lusted. They all drank from that spiritual water, that same water,
spiritual rot. And here, beloved, these people,
they were informed people, and with many of them, many of them,
God was not well pleased. Not well pleased at all, for
they were overthrown in the wilderness. Now in verse 6, look what it
says. Now, these things were our examples to the intent we
should not lust after evil things. And what this is telling us is
that everything that happened here, these people are an example
of those to us who enjoy the blessed privileges of the revelation
of the gospel. And the punishment inflicted
upon these people, God's judgment upon them, was designed and ordered
of God to instruct us to avoid sins like these people's sins,
that we won't be equally condemned. And this word lust here, lust
here means is to covet, is to crave, is to desire. And it may
be used in reference to all sin, for lust, lust is the root and
foundation of sin. Look what Paul said in Romans
7, 7. Let me show you what he said, talking about lust. For all that's in the world is
the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of
life. Lust is to covet, it's to crave, it's to desire. And Paul said in Romans 7, 7,
look up what he says here. What shall we save in? Is the
law sin? God forbid. No. I had not known sin but by the
law. For I had not known lust except
the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. That was the law.
That was the one that God drove home to his heart. He was evidently
coveting something. Fame, prestige, power, a position. He was coveting something, and
God took the law and said, Thou shalt not covet, and struck him
in his heart for that. And he says, That law exposed
me for what I am. And that's what these examples
are here. So if you lust or crave something,
and that's what they did. They lusted and craved. And watch
what happens here in verse 7. And here's what else they've
done. Not only do they lust after evil things, evil things, anything
that's not going to honor God, anything that's not going to
be for the good of your soul, anything that's going to lead
you away from Christ, if you want that thing and desire that
thing and covet that thing and pray that thing, it's got to
be evil. Wouldn't you say that? Wouldn't
you say that? All right, verse 7, Neither be
I idolatrous with some of them, as it is written, The people
sat down to eat, and rose up to play. And what he's saying
here, don't be worshippers of idols. You want to see where
that's at, look at Exodus 32. Let's read this together. Exodus
32. You know, and this is one of
those things in the scriptures that just absolutely astounds
you. And yet, when you realize what you are, and then Paul said,
don't be idolaters, don't be worshippers of idols and images
and false gods, as some of them were. These people in the wilderness,
they worshipped false gods. They worshipped idols. God brought
them through the Red Sea. He brought them onto dry land,
and he blessed them and used them and destroyed their enemy
in the Red Sea. And here they hadn't been out
of Egypt no time, and they set them up some idols and worshiped.
Look what it said in Exodus 32. And when the people saw that
Moses delayed to come down out of the mountain, the people gathered
themselves together under air and said unto him, Make us gods,
which shall go before us. For as for this Moses, the man
that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we don't know
what in the world will become of him. And Aaron said unto them,
Well, take off your earrings, take them off your sons, take
them off your wives, break them off in your daughters, and bring
them to me. And all the people took all their golden earrings,
which were in their ears, and brought them unto Aaron. And
he received them at their hand, and fashioned it with the graving
tool, after he had made a molten calf. And they said, These be
thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt."
They was just deliberately doing this. They knew that golden calves
didn't bring them out of Egypt. They knew that Golden Calf didn't
part the Red Sea. They knew that Golden Calf didn't
send them plagues. And oh, listen, when Aaron saw
it, he built an altar before it. Oh, my soul. He built him
an altar. And then he made a proclamation
and said, tomorrow is going to be a feast to the Lord. And they
rose up early on in the morning and offered burnt offerings and
brought peace offerings. To what? to golden calves. And the people sat down to eat,
sat down to eat of those sacrifices, and rose up to play and dance
and carry on. And that's what he said. Three
thousand of them. I could, you know, you can go back and look
at it yourself, the last part of Exodus. God destroyed three
thousand people that day over that same. Killed three thousand
people just like that. Huh? You see, our God's a jealous
God. And he won't share his glory,
and he won't share the love of the worship of his people. He
will not share it. And then back over here in verse
8. And he goes on, just one sin after another. First of all,
they lusted after evil things. Then they become idolaters. And
then they become fornicators. Neither let us commit fornication
as some of them committed and fell one day, three and twenty
thousand. Now I think we need to look at
this too. Numbers chapter 25. What do you mean committed fornication?
Well, let's look and see what fornication he's talking about. Numbers 25. Numbers 25. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers. We must not gratify, oh God help
us, not to our fleshly desires and indulge in immorality and
immorality in any way as some of these people did. And it results
at this time in the death of 24,000. 24,000 one day. Look what it said here in verse
25. Numbers 25 and verse 1. And Israel abode in Shechem,
and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of
Moab. And they called the people. under the sacrifices of their
gods. And the people did eat and bowed down to their gods.
This is Israel then. They got hooked, you know, and
they went to Moab and started doing what the Moabites did. And they offered them and said,
Come on here. And Israel joined himself to Baal Peor. And the
language of the Lord was kindled against Israel. Kindled against
them. And oh, beloved in God, and you
go on down through there, and you'll find that what this business
is, is that they committed fornication. You know what they committed
fornication with? Idols. False gods. False sacrifices.
And they married themselves to the Moabites. And this is the reason why believers
marry believers. Because if you don't, you're
going to end up worshiping the god of the person you marry.
Most of the time, you know, it's like a Baptist marrying a Catholic. You know, the Catholic, he ain't
going to give up his religion, unless God does something for
him. And that's what he's talking about here. And then back over
in our text again, and he said there in verse 8, Neither let
us commit fornication, as some of them committed and fell in
one day, twenty-three thousand. Oh my, 23,000 suddenly, just
like that. Because they went and committed
fornication. And that, of course, offering
those sacrifices and going with those Moabites. You know, the
Moabites nation, they came from Lot. You remember that Lot's
two daughters had incest with Lot. And one of them became Moab. So he comes from a filthy, incestual
relationship to start with. And so he is against God from
the beginning. And these people went and joined
themselves to them. Now look down here in verse 9.
We need to let us tempt Christ as some
of them also tempted and were destroyed, the fiery serpents,
or destroyed as serpents. Now, what does it mean, tempt
the Lord? Well, what it means is to try God in this sense. You know, to tempt Him means
to say, I just don't believe you can do this, I don't believe
you can do that. And they were critical of His
power, of His faithfulness and His goodness. And they tried
His patience. They were critical of His providence.
That's why He says, they proved Me. And it wasn't enough for
them to prove me, but they all the time complained about what
I did. My providence wasn't good enough
for them. My food wasn't good enough for
them. My water wasn't good enough for
them. My preacher prophet Moses wasn't good enough for them.
Nothing that I can do can satisfy these people. And so they tempted
him. And what it is is not to be satisfied
with his will and his way and to challenge him. to challenge
God and to provoke Him. That's what Israel did. That's
what Israel did. And when they did that, that's
when God sent the fiery serpent and slew again a multitude of
them. And, oh, God, I don't want to
tempt. Do you know what it is to tempt the Lord? To tempt the
Lord, to challenge Him, to provoke Him? And say, you know, Lord,
I just, you know, and I just don't believe you could do this.
I don't believe you could do that. I'm not satisfied. I'm
critical of his providence. Oh, my. Then in verse 10, watch
what it says. So what they done is they ate
the same spiritual meat, drank the same spiritual drink, lusted
after things they robbed officers, committed fornication, And then
they tempted Christ, and God sent the five serpents, and every
time they done something, God sent judgment. First 3,000, then
23,000, and oh, you go on and on, and here it says, Neither
murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed
of the destroyer. You know what it is to murmur
against God. I want you to see a couple of things. Look with
me in Exodus 15-24. Just a moment. Exodus 15-24.
I want you to see this. And we were talking
back in the men's meeting that, you know, believers are in trouble,
and we got people that our heart goes out to. They're having great
trials, great afflictions, great burdens. And people, God's people,
either going in trouble or in trouble or coming out of trouble.
And we don't want, we want to be able to take God's hand of
providence in whatever He delivers to us and kiss Him and say, Lord,
it's the Lord. Let Him do what seems good. If
He comes in our house and in our home and takes out the brightest
flower, Flower in our home. And that's happened to several
people. And wives die, and husbands die. Painful deaths. And yet, beloved, we don't want
to be found arguing against God. We were talking about it back
there, that Janice worked with a girl. She's got one little
boy. He's four years old. Got a brain tumor. Misdiagnosed
for about a week, and they took him to a children's hospital.
They diagnosed it rightly, and they sent him out to St. Jude's
out of Memphis, going to do a CAT scan in the morning and going
to operate on him. How would you like to be in that
situation? Four-year-old. Would we murmur? Would we find
fault with God? We say, Lord, and that's why
we're going to get out here and put more on us than we're able
to bear. So you pray for those people. Pray for them. And look
what he goes on to say here now, in verse 24. Actually, it's 1524. And here's the first thing they said,
and the people murmured against Moses, saying, Why shall we drink? Why shall we drink? Ain't that
something to really be upset with God about? Why are we going
to drink? What are we going to drink? Now, look over here in
Exodus 16, 7. And in the morning, then you
shall see the glory of the Lord, for that he heareth your murmurings
against the Lord. And what are we that you murmur
so against us? And then look in Numbers 14 with
me just a moment. Let's see what happens here.
And to murmur, that's not like, you know, saying, oh, boy, I
wish it'd quit raining, or I wish it'd warm up, or something like
that. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about taking
God to task over what He does in our lives. That's what we're
talking about here. We're talking about, you know,
it's not like saying, boy, I'd sure like to see the sunshine.
I sure wish it'd quit raining. I wish it'd clear up. And those
kind of things. That's not what he's talking
about. Boy, I wish I could have caught more fish today. That's
not what we're talking about. We're talking about taking God to task,
finding fault with Him, what He deals with us. What are we
going to drink? God, I don't like what You've
given me to drink. I want something else. And then
look what he said here in Numbers 14, verse 26. And the Lord spake unto Moses,
and unto Aaron, How long shall I bear with this evil congregation
which murmur against me? I have heard the murmurings of
the children of Israel, which they murmur against me. Say unto them, As truly as I
live, saith the Lord, as ye have spoken in mine ear, so will I
do to you. Your carcasses shall fall in
this wilderness, And all that were numbered of you according
to your whole number, from twenty years old and upper, which have
murmured against me." What God said was, you're all going to
die in this world. I'm going to leave your carcass right here.
Leave your carcass right here. Oh, we don't want to trifle with
God. Let's go back over to our text here. You know, God killed Eli's two
sons, told him he was going to do it. And he said, Lord, let
him do what seemeth good. Aaron killed Nadab. God killed
Nadab in the bayou, Aaron's sons, when they offered strange fire.
And the scripture says that Aaron held his peace, held his peace
and never said anything against God. I know it's hard for this
flesh to deal with, hard for this flesh to come up against
stuff like that. And God only knows what goes
on in your heart. And I've never been tried. I've
told you this before. We have a lot of aggravation.
We have a lot of aggravation. But as far as being tried, I
don't know that I've ever been tried. I've had a lot of aggravation. I've had a lot of vexation. But
as far as being tried like this, where I'd have to be put in a
position that I could murmur against God, I don't want to
do that. And all right, in verse 11, Now, all these things happened
unto them for ensembles, or types, and they are written for our
admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. God recorded
these judgments upon Israel not by chance, no, no, but by the
will of God, these judgments that came upon them. They came
by the will of God for their idolatry, for their murmuring,
and they got just what they deserved. Their idolatry and their fornication
and their murmuring, they got just exactly what they deserved.
You surely don't think God would be unjust and punish people and
send 23,000 to hell at a time, and kill 3,000 at a time, and
leave everybody under 20 years old, leave them in the wilderness
in their dead carcasses there. You surely don't think that He'd
be wrong in punishing a man for his murmuring and his complaining
and his speaking against God and not being satisfied with
God's justice, do you? And these things were written,
recorded for our admonition. And that admonition means that
we might be warned, warned to avoid these same things. To avoid
these things, escape, avoid the sin and escape the judgment. And then, beloved, in all the
goodness of God's been upon us and God has blessed us and God
has kept us, And he said, upon whom the ends of the world are
coming. Now we're at the end of time. Right now we're at the
end. And this is going to come upon whom the ends of the world
will come. These examples will follow us all the way until Christ
comes again. And then in verse 12, and here's
the thing. Wherefore let him that thinketh
he standeth, think he lest he fall. Since all of these fathers,
since all of these Israelites who were so blessed of God, had
special favors of God, great privileges from God, God delivered
them, God saved them, God took them through the Red Sea, God
gave them manna from heaven, gave them water out of a rock,
and the rock followed them. And what he's saying here is
they enjoyed these favors, and by their sin and idolatry and
rebellion brought upon themselves the judgment of God. And what
he said was, it be wise for all of us today who think that we're
safe, say we're secure, and that we're above committing these
sins, will you take heed lest you fall the same way they fell.
They left Egypt. When they left Egypt, they didn't
think for a minute they was going to do the things they done, but
they did. Let me show you. Well, how about you have to look
at it. Let me quote these things to
you real quick. Galatians 6.1 says, "...bear ye one another's
burdens. And if ye see a brother overtaken in a fall, ye which
are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness, considering
thyself, lest ye also be tempted." And you know, our Lord, He said,
without me, you can do nothing. I mean, are we going to fall
if Christ don't keep us? We can't do anything without
Christ. Our strength is not in ourselves. Our strength is not
in our knowledge. Our strength is only unto Him that is able
to keep you from falling and to present you faultless before
His throne. And then he says here, And there
hath no temptation, no temptation taken you, but such is common
to man, common to believers. The word temptation here, trials,
afflictions, God trying us, testing us, Everything that's disagreeable
to our nature is going to happen to us. Every kind of a temptation
that arises because of our sinful natures. They're all common to
believers wherever you go in any age that they ever lived.
And as long as we live on this earth, we won't be free from
the trials of all men. But God has promised, God has
promised that He will give us strength and assist us to his people.
And here's what he says here, you may be tempted beyond your
strength, but you'll never be tempted beyond his strength.
Never be tempted beyond his strength. And let me show you in closing,
2 Thessalonians 3. Well, in fact, I'm tempted oftentimes
above my strength. But we'll never be beyond his
strength. He'll always hold us in. In fact, he said, I'll bore
you from your womb, and I'll carry you down through your old
age into your hoary hairs. Second Thessalonians 3.3, that the Lord is faithful, who
shall establish you and keep you from evil. And we'll say, And how many times,
how many times have we all said, the Lord said he wouldn't let
me be tempted but that I was able to bear.