There's two things I want you
to understand before I get started today. Number one is that I'm
going to do something. And number two, and that doing
something, I'm going to not do something else. You get that? Let me explain it. First, the
negative, I'm not going to teach you today or preach to you today
what Paul is not saying, which is a treatise on obedient children. It's not what Paul's writing
here. What Paul is writing here is developing and continuing
his argument in the context of this letter to the church of
Ephesus that they are to be one flesh, one people in Christ redeemed
through the power of the gospel to the praise of His glorious
grace. Not two people, not a bunch of people with one vision, but
one faith, one Lord, one baptism, one Christ, one Savior, one body
for whom Christ died And that body exists that this perfectness
of Jesus is displayed. And we've seen the reality of
the filling of the Spirit of God in Ephesians 5. We understand how wives submit
to their husbands. We understand how husbands love
their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for
her. in order to present her blameless, spotless, without
wrinkle or blemish before him. In the same way, husbands love
your wife, nourishing her, cherishing her as your own body, for no
one hates his own flesh, but takes care of it. What I'm not
going to do today is to sit here and though children are addressed,
as we'll see here in Ephesians chapter six, verse one, what
I don't want to do is to sit here and pound the podium in
the context of telling children they must obey. Though that is
what Paul is teaching, it's in a larger context. There is a. How do I say this politely and
correctly, there is a very large pile theological teaching and
it's somewhat smelly. So there's a good way of saying
that without being ugly. And this pile theological teaching
that flies frequent. Try to push people into a moral
absolute of behavior modification, not an absolute of the gospel
of Jesus Christ. And so, therefore, there is a
plethora of professing Christians and a plethora of non-professing
Christians who walk righteously in their own way and in their
own ability and they look good and they smell good and they
act good and they speak good. I know those are not good English,
but oh well, no pun intended. And so as we come to this text
today, recognize that what I am not doing is to teach you to
teach your children to act the way they should act. What cannot
happen here is for us to leave. And children, you need to listen
to this sermon. I don't care how old you are. You need not
doodle today and lose your mind. You need not color much unless
you can do it with a response and listening to what I'm saying,
for this sermon is partly to you as it was to the children of
Ephesus. But what I am doing is I want
to show you the reality of the gospel and the life of the family,
the husband, the wife and the children. And that the reflection
of the gospel of Jesus is perfectly seen in every relationship. Even
in the church, eternally, and in the marriage, temporally,
as the Bible teaches us that the power of the gospel is seen
in the marriage, in its relationships, in its hierarchy, in its beauty
of the magnificent picture of Christ in the church. So, as
Christ Loved, so the church, as Christ gave, so the church
submits. As Christ loved, so the church
submits. As the husband is the head, so
the wife submits. Then the husband, as Christ loved,
loves the wife. And then children, obey your
parents. See how that works? Enough said. We can go home. And so this picture of the marriage
is continuing to blossom here. Although I said this last week,
the ultimate end of marriage is not procreation. That's not
why God ordained it. God did not establish marriage
for children. Though it is out of marriage
that children come, it was ordained unto that. But it's not the end
of marriage. The end of marriage is what?
Is a picture of the beauty of the one fleshness of Christ and
His church. So it is a picture. It displays
the magnificent glory of The Gospel. Don't miss it. There's a lot of stuff that you
will hear in your life. There's a lot of stuff that you
think you know that you don't really know is wrong. And if
you don't think that marriage is 100,000, 5 billion percent
about Christ and the church, you're wrong every single second
of your wrongness. You're always wrong if you think
marriage has anything to do with anything but Christ and His church.
Because Paul perfectly and absolutely says that I am telling you the
mystery of marriage is revealed only and ultimately and perfectly
with a husband and a wife as Christ and the church. That's
it. There is nothing else. And anything
else, if I could dare to say this dogma, is of Satan and his
lies as he breathes it through pulpits and through papers and
through books. and through YouTube videos and
everything else. And you, if you do not see marriage
as that perfect thing, have bought into the lie of the enemy, brother
and sister. And test those claims, test them
against that which is absolute, which is the Word of God. Who is Christ? who came to earth
to save a people through which marriage depicts the saving of
his people. God saves his people and marriage. Displays that. So we see the husband, we see
the wife, we see Christ, the church, and now we see children,
and so I want you to think, think of your view of marriage. Ask
yourself, do you see marriage as a glorious picture of Christ
in a church? And if you do then, then everything within the marriage
then must what? Must point to that. Whether it
be physical union, whether it be children, whether it be training,
whether it be worship, whether it be relational things, everything
within the marriage must be somewhat of a picture in some way of Christ
and His church. So therefore, children, because
they are from marriage, must in some way point to Christ and
His church. So let's look at that today.
Ephesians chapter 6. Let's start back at Ephesians
chapter 5. In verse 22, just to get the
feel. Lives submit to your own husbands
as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even
as Christ is the head of the church, his body and this himself,
its savior. Now, as the church submits to
Christ, so also the wife should submit and everything to her
husband or plural life should submit and everything to their
husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ of the church
and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her, having
cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he
might present the church himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle
or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish in
the same way husbands should love their wives as their own
bodies. For he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one
ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just
as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore,
a man shall leave his father and leave his mother and hold
fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This
mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ
and the church. However, let each one of you
love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects
her husband. Children, Obey your parents and the Lord, for this
is right. Honor your father and mother.
This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go
well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers,
do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So as we move from
Christ loves the church and the church submits to Christ and
the husband and wife relationship, now all of a sudden the apostle
The apostle begins to address children. Why? Because they were there. They
were listening to the word of God, they were hearing the scripture
read and taught by the elders of Ephesus, of whom Timothy was
one of the premier first. And so as we understand the children
were there, know that the first thing we should see here is that
children are being spoken to by the writing of this letter.
Children, obey your parents. Now, I don't know any child that
has ever walked by a church, much less been in one, that doesn't
know that, has not heard that. Usually from some irate father
or mother standing on the ends of their eyelashes going, Obey
me! And if they're doing it very
politely on the inside, they're screaming like that. Children,
obey your parents. The apostle Paul is talking to
the children there with these people. And today, because we
want to do things the way the Scripture calls for, if there
were no children in the room, how dare could I preach this
text? How can I read it? Oh, we're going to skip that
one. So we'll go to fathers. Verse four, so chapter six, verses
one, two and three would just have to be obliterated. Oh, wait
a minute. Hey, could you please teach this down the hall here?
Skip it down in the adult section and we just go on. So children
are being taught, so children listen as the Scriptures say
to obey your parents. How many of you kids have never
heard that? How about this? How many of you kids have been
told at least once in your life to obey your parents? Raise your
hand. And you adults should raise your hand, too, if you have.
So everybody knows that this is what is required of children. But the question usually comes
as our children talk to us and as we talk to them and we say
something just as a not just obey, but we say, hello, dear
daughter, dear son, dear whatever, would you please do this? And
what ultimately either comes back? Well, yes, dad, or yes,
sir, or sure, no problem. That comes back sometimes. And
then sometimes the, I don't want to do that. Or what's the ultimate
question? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Well, the answer
is easy. Because it is right. Not that
which was, pick up your underwear. Why? Because it's nasty. Why? Because you wore it. Why? Because
you can't walk around naked. Why? Because it's against the
law. Why? You just kick the can on down the road and 45 years
later, they're telling you to pick up your underwear. The question is right. The answer
is wrong. Why? Because it is right to obey
me. It is right to obey me. It is
right to obey your parents, for the Lord commands it of you and
the scriptures commanded of you, children, and you should obey
because it is right. Not because you have to, because
you should want to. It is right. And so as we look
at that, remember, as the apostle is speaking to these children,
remember that the end of marriage is not even children, that the
ultimate end of marriage, when I say the end, what it points
to and where it is, when it cultivates, when it grows and blooms and
blossoms, it goes, oh, there it is. It doesn't point to children.
It doesn't point to a life old, ripe old age together. It points
to Christ in the church and all that stuff that's sort of very,
very, very, very low secondary underneath it. It happens and
it should happen. Marriage, children takes place.
But marriage is not the ultimate end and children is not the ultimate
end of marriage. Not procreation. But what is? Oneness with Jesus. The picture
of atoning love. Sacrificial love. Unique love. sanctifying love and eternal
love that we've talked about in the last few weeks, that love
which Christ has for his bride. Then this love and this submission
and the outcome there of these ways in which Christ loves it
is the purpose of it is to bring people who are far away together
as one body. as the body of Christ, righteous
and perfect, for Christ is righteous and perfect, and therefore His
body cannot be scarred or blemished or sinful. So He creates righteousness
in that which is not righteous so that we can be together with
Him. So then what's the point now?
Well, the point is that marriage on earth is a shadow, and so,
I believe, are children. And even more so in a temporal
way on this world, children are just a shadow for they don't
remain children long. Last summer, we had three pregnant
women in this church, and now we have two pregnant women in
this church, and we have children who are almost a year old, and
it's really odd to see how fast they grow. I thought they'd be
bitty, bitty babies for just a little bit longer. Or maybe
they'll be toddlers. Or maybe they'll be little adolescents.
Or maybe they'll be teenagers. No, they'll just become adults.
So, childhood is so fleeting. It just goes away. It's a shadow
in itself. It's a shadow of maturing and sanctifying. And then one
day those cute little children grow up and they leave their
father and they leave their mother and they cleave to each other
and they become one flesh. And it starts all over again.
The process begins and the days of childhood are gone. Flee youthful
passions, Paul says. So we don't hold on to the childhood
of the world because we are to grow up. And I believe that children
in the picture of the gospel are just that. I believe that
they are to be a picture of disciples and a practice of parents discipling
young people. Why is it that in the context
of when Paul talks to Timothy, he says that we must, in order
to oversee the flock, must take care to oversee our homes. What
does that mean? Does that mean dusting and cleaning?
No. That means prayerfully, mindfully, purposefully instructing our
children in Christ. And that's what I want to show
you that Paul is teaching us here. First look at 6.1 as we
see it. It is a command of God. It is
a command given by the Apostle Paul who had absolute authority,
absolutely divinely inerrant authority as he wrote these letters.
He says that he is divinely inerrant. He says that several times to
the point where he says, if you don't agree with him, you're
not a brother in Christ. To the Corinthians. John says
anyone that does not listen to the apostles are not saved. They
do not agree. If you reject the word of God,
if you criticize the scriptures as in as as as secondary or insufficient,
then friends, you're the spirit of God has not awakened you to
the reality of the word. And if that's the case, then
in Romans 10, have you heard the word? Have you been given
ears to hear and see by faith? So there's this command, children,
obey your parents. This proposition, obey your parents. And those of you who were in
the elder training yesterday, we learned about propositions. I think we went
through about 20 different types of propositions. Proposition
one here is children, obey your parents. And then there's a second
subordinate clause, which is in the Lord for this is right.
So obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. So there's
a command. There's a command first to obey.
Children, you obey your parents in the Lord. Now, what does that
mean? Well, let's take it simply, because I believe Paul intended
the children to understand this. If your parents are instructing
you in a godly thing, as long as what they are telling you
to do is not godless, then obey it. Obey your parents in all
things as unto the Lord, except for sinful things. Here, son,
go in there and rob that store. No, don't do that. But everything else, we have
enough sense in our minds to know what is right and godly
and what is not, especially those who are of the body of Christ.
God has given us the Spirit. And so we know what is right
and we know what is wrong. And on those rare, rare, rare
occasions that we might be confused, we want to go to the Word of
God to find out how far away we can run from that thing which
is sinful, not how close we can get to the edge of it without
falling off. Does the Bible say I can? See,
a lot of times children play that game. That's another sermon
in itself. But the proposition to obey your
parents in the Lord is followed by this proposition, this causal
clause for, because this is right. What's right? Obeying your parents
is right. Now, I want you to think about
this for a second. If this is true and it is, then obedience
is required because it is an act of righteousness. Is it credited
to righteousness? No. Is it salvific? No. Obedience
does not save you. But salvation brings obedience. And I believe that obedient children
Do what is right. And that right doing reflects
the righteousness of Jesus Christ, which is the one flesh with His
people. So, therefore, then the children
are participatory in the reflectiveness of the gospel in the home. Well, let me ask you this. So,
children, obey your parents. For this is right. The obedience
of children reveals Christ's work of redemption in my mind.
I believe that if God is saving your children, has saved your
children, and is going to continue to save your children, then I
believe that they will be obedient. Perfectly? Absolutely not. Are
you? And there's a lesson to that because
in verse four, Paul really rips it apart. We're not going to
get there yet. I just want to let you know it's coming. What's happening
here is that we see that obedience is a reflection of the work of
God, just like being filled with the Spirit of God, rejoicing.
So as children are commanded to obey children, do you obey? Do you obey because you're scared
of the consequences or do you obey because you want to do what
is right? Parents. He begins to talk then to parents. Children, obey your parents in
the Lord, for this is right. And then he says to honor your
father and your mother. Parents, you need to teach your
children these things. What's happening here is Paul
now is alluding back to the law. He's alluding to the Ten Commandments.
He's not only alluding, he's quoting them. And then he puts
a parenthetical there in verse 2. Verse 2, honor your father
and your mother. Parenthetical. That means parentheses.
This is the first commandment with a promise. It's not the
only commandment with a promise, but it is the first commandment
with a promise. So marriage and obedient children reflect the
nature of the gospel, and therefore, parents, we must teach our children
the power of the word. We must teach our children holiness. We must teach our children the
gospel. We must teach our children all
these things by teaching them to obey God through us, for this
is righteous. We must teach children. To obey
and to obey is right, and I will get to that in a minute. Marriage
points to Christ, but marriage, friends, let me give you this
caveat, is not for everyone. There are some people who would
believe that marriage is required of all Christians. It's not.
Paul himself said, what did he say? I pray that I wish that
all of you were like me, single. For it is better. But he also
said that God gives grace and I'm paraphrasing here. and calling
to each one as he chooses. So God calls some for marriage
and some for singlehood. But I believe if he's called
you to marriage, the natural outcome of that is probably going
to yield children. And if it does yield children.
By design, it's supposed to just like the marriage children, are
not the ultimate, but are part of the picture. So now back. Back to this teaching children
to obey and that obedience is right. Children are for the purpose
of training believers. That's what they're for. They're
not to take care. We don't have children so we
can have a backup system in case something happens to us. Now,
it's not wrong for children to take care of their parents. They
should honor their father and their mother. It's not children
aren't there so that we can have a big farm or a big business
or a ball team. Children aren't there so that
we can get a lot of money. On how in the world, I don't
know who decided that that was true, but I've heard people say, yeah,
they're having children to get a lot of money. From who? All my children cost
me money. Children are not there for us
to have something to love on. Children in the home of a Christian
family are there to grow disciples of Christ. I want you to hear
this. I hope that your paradigms aren't
being shattered, but most likely they are, because even in our
dreams and our visions, we are teaching children. And in our
minds, we have this idea of what our children are going to do
and be. I want you to listen carefully. Children are for the
purpose of training as disciples, but the world contradicts that.
What does the world see? Matter of fact, let's go to you
don't have to turn there. First John, chapter two, verse
15 says this. Do not love the world. It lists the things of the world.
What are they? The loss of the eyes, the things
that we see that we won't. which could include men and women,
toys, the pride of life, the pride of possessions. These things
are passing away, and if we love them, the love of the Father
is not in us. But why is it, dear friends? Why is it, children? Why do your parents teach you?
See how conflicting this sermon could be? Don't listen to your parents
when they teach you that success in the world is gathered by the
job or the money that you have or the house that you own or
the person that you marry. Rebuke that in the name of Jesus and
disobey it. Oh, my gosh, the preacher just told us to disobey.
Yes, I did. Because if you obey the world's
ways, you're disobeying God. It's godless. The world says that success is
this and that and this and that. You've got to do this, you've
got to have that, you've got to reach that, you've got to own
that, you've got to buy this, you've got to buy that. And the
world says that love is this and it feels like this and it
looks like that. And the world says, and you,
oh dear child, you are special, you are something, you can do
it. Where there's a will, there's a way. Just reach out and grab
the brass wing, pull it down to where you are, step on it
and climb on up. You keep going. This is success. Friends, this is the world that
Satan offered Jesus. This is the world that the devil,
the enemy of God, who had been given the sons of disobedience
to share with him in the fullness of the awesome wrath of God forever,
This is the lie that he is perpetrating, not only to the world, but to
the people who profess to be filled with the gospel and the
Spirit of God. Where, oh, where is our discernment,
church? How hellish is the lie from hell
that tells us to tell our children that success is everything but
Christ? All I have is Christ. All I have
is Christ. But we want everything and then
we want to paint Jesus over the top of it. And we want our children
just to, oh, no, get this and get that and do this and make
Daddy proud. You know what makes me proud?
When my children love each other. When my children respect their
mother and me. When they do fight, they forgive
one another. That's what makes me... I don't
care. I do care, but in comparison, I don't care. Just as Jesus said,
you must hate your mother and your father and your sisters
and your brother. You're not worthy of me. He didn't say,
go hate them, because it violated that which he commanded, to love
them. Even your enemies, what he's saying is, man, your love
for me must be so good that it looks like hate in comparison.
So I don't care in comparison about my children's grades or
their looks or their success or their future. What I want
them to know is that there's a God in heaven who deserves
to be worshipped and he's given them the mercy and the grace
of Christ on the cross. Success is Christ. Knowing Christ,
seeing Christ, loving Christ, savoring Christ, embracing Christ,
living in Christ. Do you realize that Paul, what
does he say? Paul says that it is not I who live, but Christ
who lives within me. For I live by faith in the Son
of God who loved me and gave himself for me. Friends, there
is nothing in our flesh that is true. Nothing. So why do we teach our children
that their flesh and their desires and their will and their abilities
are anything but death? The Word of God says that we
should teach our children who Christ is and what the church
is. And what Christ is to the church. So as we're seeing the family
now, we see here, here, here's the here's the picture here.
We see the union of the spouses, the submission of the wife, the
affection of the husband and the discipling of the children.
Now, the picture is coming together, the discipling of the children.
So so what do you teach the children? Remember, the first point in
this is that Paul is teaching the children. Children, obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right. He's commanding
the children there. So that's number one. Teach the
children the Scripture. Paul is teaching
the children. You parents should teach your
children the Scripture. Everything about it. And the second thing we see here,
And that we should teach our children is that this command
to obey is from the Lord, not Paul and not me and not mommy. When our children are taught
to obey, parents keep in mind that we are not the one giving
the command, God is giving the command. God is the one saying,
children, obey your parents through the mouth of Paul, through the
writing of Paul. God is the one who gave Moses
that command. Children, obey, honor your parents,
honor your father and your mother. And so teaching children that
God has commanded this teaches them something about disobedience,
that when your children disobey you, parent, guess what? They're not disobeying you. They're
disobeying God. And so the offense of disobedience
is not just a paddling or a time out or a restriction or decapitation
or whatever it is that you do at your house. That's up to you,
but the but the penalty of disobeying daddy is that you're going to
have the wrath of God on your head forever. And your only hope
is Jesus. So when children disobey, they
disobey God and they need to know that the outcome of that
is that first, that that disobedience is absolute sinful wickedness.
That they and their hearts are wicked and cannot be trusted
and their hearts are deceitful above all things. And so when
they feel like they want to press against the authority of parents,
they're pressing against the authority of Almighty God who
made them and their mamas and daddies and the donkey they rode
in on and can cast it all into hell. You don't have to use a Westminster
catechism to teach your children. It's a good idea. Just teach them that. Teach them
what the Bible tells them about God. So children must sit under the
word of God, taught as the word of God teaches. So then what
else do we see here? Teaching them to obey, number
one, it must be done. Teaching them that the obedience
or the command to obey is from God, not man. And thirdly, look
what he does in verse two. He teaches them what? The Old
Testament. Paul isn't coming up with a new
thing. Like John, you know John's quote new commandment that I
give to you, but it's not a new one, but it's one that you had
from the beginning, he says, 1 John. It's not a new command here.
Paul is saying, look at the Old Testament, look at the command.
Children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right.
And it comes with a promise. And so when we understand that
our children know that it's righteous to obey, then what is righteous? Ask the question of yourself,
what is righteousness? How is obedience righteousness?
Well, what have we been talking about here? The fullness of marriage
and the whole family points to whom? To Christ. And so Christ
is the righteous one of God, the title Christ, holy, anointed
one of God. That's what Christ means. So
if Christ is the righteous one, when we teach our children that
obedience is righteous and right, then we're teaching them not
only the word of God, but we're teaching them what? Who Christ
is. And that the Word of God teaches
who Christ is. And that the Word of God shows
them who Christ is. So, Jesus submitted in obedience
to the Father. Children, submit obedience to
your father and to your mother. And you're practicing that which
Christ practiced. You're teaching them. Don't just
say, obey me now! Say, look, Jesus, Philippians,
who was God, did not take equality with God, something to be grasped,
but made himself a slave, obedient to death, a criminal's death
on the cross. Can you see that, child? Well, my child's not old enough.
Yes, it is. Tell it that. Teach your children that the
Word of God teaches them about who Jesus is and that Jesus is
righteous. Because Jesus obeyed. The obedience of Jesus in this earth
is paramount to his worthiness to be the Lamb of God. Jesus
obeyed his mother. Jesus obeyed his father. Jesus
honored his parents, Jesus obeyed. The next thing I want you to
see here is that teaching this teaches children that the Word
is true. That the Word is not only true,
but it's authoritative in their life. Why should I obey you?
Because the Bible says you must. The Bible says you should. The Bible says that if Christ
is in you, you want to. The Word is an authority. The
Word is Christ. The Word contains a promise.
Do you realize in Exodus chapter 21 and Leviticus chapter 20,
maybe verse 12, 13, somewhere in there, in Leviticus verse
9 of chapter 20, that if a child disobeyed or disrespected their
parents, do you know what happened to them? They were taken outside
the camp and all the elders of the camp smashed their heads
with rocks. and left their bodies to rot
under a pile of rocks. Aren't you glad that Christ took
that? Why are we scared to teach our
children the truth? The Word of God says that a child
should be put to death when it disobeys. Oh, you know, they're
talking about radical, radical, rebel teenagers. Man, when you
were 12, you were married and gone. Don't be sitting there
talking about 18, 19, 20. Man, you half dead by the time
you're 20. In Bible days, you don't sit
around until you're shaven. 12, 13, you're married. You're gone.
You've got your life. You leave your father and mother.
You cleave to your wife. You become one flesh. You bear children.
You move and you do and you worship and you live your own life. He's
talking about kids who are 6, 7, 8, 9. Disrespecting, disobedient,
smashing their heads with a rock, killing them. They had to. That's
the penalty of death. And so you needed to know that
because the promise that's here, look at it. There's a promise,
verse 2. He says, it's first command with a promise. Honor
your father and mother, and the promise is in verse 3, that it
may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
Now, I want you to know there's two ways of looking at this.
One way is an old way and a right way, but it's the wrong way.
And the new way is the right way, and it's the right way.
So let's look at it the old way, which is the right way, but it's
the wrong way. The old way is that in the people of Israel,
for the Jews, not necessarily the Jews at that time, but for
Israel, the promise was that they would
live well and long in the land, the promise, the place promise,
the dirt. And just like in John's Gospel,
when Jesus would speak about something physical that had spiritual
implication, the people who didn't have eyes to see couldn't see
the reality of what He was talking about. When He said Nicodemus
had to be reborn, He said, how can I get back at my mother?
When He said the Spirit does it, He used the wind. When He
told the woman from Sychar in John 4, He says, if you knew
He was asking you for water, He'd give you water. You'd ask
Him for water, He'd give you water, the well of the eternal life. And
she goes, you don't even have a bucket. How are you going to give me
water out of there? And John, too, when he cleansed
the temple for the first time. And he said, how dare you, what
by what authority, by what sign do you come? He says, you tear
this temple down in three days, I'll restore it. It took us almost
50 years to do this. He's crazy. Someone himself.
And so what happens is then with the people of God, with Israel,
they didn't see the fullness of what this promise meant. But
what this promise meant back in the day is that there was
a land. There's three things that I want you to see. Land,
and I want you to see living, and I want you to see going well. Well,
the land is sort of simple. We know the promised land, that
place in the Mediterranean, in Palestine. That's the area that
we're talking about. But for us today, land, children,
is eternal life. The promise of Jesus and what
he says you will have living. We know that it's a lie we eat,
we breathe, we run, we play, we work. But living in the gospel
is Christ. To live is Christ. You see that? To live is Christ. To die is even better, Paul says,
because I get to be with Christ because I get to go to the land
that's promised, the place where Christ is. And so then the third
thing, so land used to be a physical place. Now it's a reality of
eternal life. The living used to be eating
and breathing and doing, but yet true life is Christ. And then the going well, well,
things are just sort of going my way. Well, what we see there.
This is the first commandment with a promise, what's the promise
that you'd be blessed? You may live well, you may go
well, you may live long. So obedience is a reflection
of the fact that you are in eternal life, in Christ, and you're blessed
by God. Children who do not obey their
parents do not have God in their hearts. Children, listen to what I just
said. If you live a life of rebellious
disobedience to your parents, you are not filled with the Spirit
of God and you may very well be condemned. Just as wives who will not submit
to their husbands are very much, probably, most likely... Why
do I have to water that down? Because what I want to say is
you probably know. Why do I say probably? Wives who will not
submit to their husbands are not filled with the Spirit of
God, therefore they don't know Him. Husbands who do not love their
wives do not know God. Period. You can fall on your face, you
can love Jesus, you can sing songs about Him, you get excited
about Bible study, you can cry and weep and run and share the
Gospel and everything you want to do, but if you don't love
your wife and you don't love your husband and you don't love
your parents, you are lost. Lost! There's no other way to shake
it. Well, I just hadn't got there
yet. You get there when God gets you. You are radically and supernaturally
immediately changed to a lover of souls. If you don't love somebody,
you better face heaven and cry for mercy. Does it mean you always have
to feel loving things? See how messed up our idea of
love is? See, God's Word promises life
to all who believe in Christ. Evidenced by God's power, revealed
in them, through His Word, from His Word, promised in His Word.
The Word of God alone brings life to a dead heart. Not affection, not buddies, not
excitement, not emotion. Do you think when Moses saw the
bush burning and heard the voice of God, do you think there was
a lot of dimming of the sun? A lot of slow music? I think he's walking around and
sees this fire. and wonder who set the darn thing on fire. He
goes over there to see and it's not consumed. For God is His
own energy. He doesn't need the world to
do that which He does. And then God spoke plainly. He didn't come and go, oh, and
scare Moses to death. Moses, who said that? Oh, I don't
know. He said, Moses, take off your
shoes. You're standing in my presence.
Who are you? I am. Wow. You see the implications
there. When God speaks. It's the only
thing that will change the heart that's dead. When God speaks,
it's the only thing that will put obedience in the heart of
a child. And when God speaks, it's the only thing that's going
to take a marriage and a hard-headed wife and a mean husband and put
it into a submissive, sacrificial, loving relationship. And then he gets to verse 4. And he says, Father, he's talking
to parents. He's telling children to obey
their parents. And then he says, fathers. And we're looking around the
room going, who's he talking to? He's talking to you. Fathers,
do not. See, Paul loves to do this. He
gives us a do not and then he gives us a do. Sometimes he reverses
it. This time he's doing a negative
with a positive. And so what I want to do is first
help you see that now fathers are being singled out here. Fathers
are missing out. Why? When Eve and Adam sinned
consecutively together in the garden, God did not go in there
and go, Eve! He knocked on the door of Adam's
house and Eve comes to the door and he says, can I see your husband?
That's what he does. Why? Because Adam is responsible
for his home. If the headship is the headship,
then the headship gets his head chopped off. And it goes the same way through,
not only with the wife, but it goes to the children, the parents
of the children. It is not just the husband's responsibility.
It's not just the father, but the father's responsible. See,
we think that responsibility means it's the job. No, we're
one flesh. But then Christ is the head of
the church and husbands are the head of the home. And that continues with children. So what I want to do is, in closing,
put last things first. There's two parts here on this
text. Fathers, do not provoke your
children to anger. That's number one. And then the
second, but there's a contrast, a positive. Bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And what I'll do
is do last things first. Last things first. First of all,
This contrast bring them up in the Lord. This is the instruction
of the Lord. And what I want you to do is
just think about all that we've talked about thus far as part
of that. Can you see that that's. Tiny part of that. And then we're
going to. Leave that and we're going to
go then to the first part of that. And next week, we'll look
at this in more detail. So you see what we've done thus
far. We teach our children these things as we're teaching them
here. That's part of it. But then look at what he says
not to do. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Now,
let me help you see this. Provoke and anger, two words,
I'll talk about them separately. The first one, provoke. First
of all, understand that God is the Father. Fathers on the world
are temporal fathers that are to reflect the nature, the character,
the heart, the affection of the Father. OK, are you seeing that? So if that is true, then ask
yourself this question. What has God ever said or done
that provoked me to anger purposefully? And let me make you beware, nothing
is the answer. God does not to his children
stick a stick in the hornet's nest to make them mad. Never. So then, likewise, fathers, as
God does not provoke you, do not provoke your children. What
is provoking? Saying something that you know
will cause them to be angry. Not son or daughter or child,
because you said these things and because you disobeyed, I'm
going to take away your Game Boy for the next few days. I
hate you. That's not provoking a child
to anger. That child is angry on its own
and it's just wicked and sinful. But when it says, I hate you
and you go, you're such a weird little stupid kid. Now you're
provoking the child. Are y'all looking at each other? Or when the child does something
wrong and they say, you never do anything right, you're worthless
and why can't you do something right? That's provoking to anger.
Where is that in the discipline and the training? Does God say
that? Does God say you're workless?
You don't say things that provoke your children's anger. And then you don't do something
that causes anger. If the anger can be avoided,
avoid it. That's the point. Don't provoke. It's already bad enough when
things are a little tense and parenting is just... I don't
know what it's called. I think it's a controlled atomic
explosion. It's terrible. And we as parents
provoke our children to anger six out of seven days a week. And so the point of what Paul
is doing here is reminding us, including myself, don't do that
anymore. Stop. You go to bed wondering why your
children are so thinking disrespectful, because you probably pushed them
there. So stop doing that. The beauty of the grace of God
is that we're forgiven of these things, but if we continue in
them, there's a big problem. So don't say things, don't do
things that are going to cause anger, because if that anger
that has caused by you could have been avoided by you, then
you're in the wrong. Why? Why would he talk about
anger here? Because anger, what does anger
do? Anger is an emotion. You understand that? And it's
an emotion that drives out everything else. I don't know what you enjoy doing,
but imagine those of you who like the beach, or like to walk
in the woods, or like to watch a football game, and you're just
having the best time of your life, or you're watching a television
show that you enjoy, or listening to some music while you're reading
a good book, or whatever it might be, and everything's great, and
all of a sudden the power goes out, or you're out there and
the storm comes up, or you're on the beach and some derelict
comes out there and starts throwing horse manure at you. It happens. Brother Zeke and
I had some and you were on him one time, preaching. And so all of a sudden you're
enjoying yourself, you've got your crumpets and your tea and
you're excited and all of a sudden there's horse mess flying everywhere.
Are you really just sort of reminiscing in the beauty and the excitement
and the relaxation of your day? Or are you like, man, this is
just a... And you go, well, goodness me, oh my, nothing's going to
take away my happiness. No, you're upset. So the anger
that is now rolling up inside of you for that horse manure
derelict over there is overpowering and removing every amount of
joy and peace and comfort and focus and worship. I mean, you
could be reading the Bible, that's like, what the rock, you just
messed up my Bible. I mean, you know, anger pushes
it all out and flushes it right down the toilet where that stuff
should have been in the first place. You know, and so we're not able to
have joy when anger is there. It's not possible. And angry people do not respect
authority. They don't care about the law,
they don't care about the consequences, and they don't care about the
person who is telling them to obey it. And so if I am, as a
father, supposed to display the gospel and discipline my children
and train them in righteousness and lead some sense of peace
in my home and I push my children to anger, they disrespect me. And if I am a reflective picture
of the word of God and I'm teaching them through the word of God
and that I'm living in some sense as a picture of the gospel as
the headship of Christ and then up to the father, then what happens? They not only reject my authority,
but the authority of the word of God and the authority of Jesus
Christ, the authority of the gospel and the authority of God.
That's what anger does. It's awful. Remember, we've already
dealt with this in chapter four. So don't provoke. Our children to
anger and chapter four versus six is be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on
your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. You remember that
sermon? As a reminder, there are four
little things that we learned there. There's a lot of things
we learned there, but there were four main things that I want
you to remember today. One is that all anger is not
sin. And two is that all anger should be brief. Even right anger
should be brief. Do not let the sun go down on
it. So anger without sin, but don't let the sun go down on
it. So it should be short. You get angry and you're over it.
You control it. It doesn't control you. Because
if it controls you, then it's just Pulling everything else
that you have out of you. And so then the third thing is
that godly anger is, and you should remember this, being angry
about that which angers God. Remember that? That's godly anger. So if we are to be angry and
sin not, then therefore we should what? Only be angry about that
which angers God. And ultimately, we're not God.
So we should only be angry for a short moment. And when our children disobey,
they're disobeying God, not us, ultimately. And so we shouldn't
be angry. We should be thankful. To be thankful that God is patient
with us and loving with us and forgiving. With us, he doesn't
provoke us to anger. And so teach children. To see
and to know the gospel. And as we're teaching them to
see the gospel and to know the gospel, we're remembering that
we're not just trying to change their behavior, but we're trying
to teach them the gospel, that God may change their heart, that
may result in a changed behavior. Yes, sometimes you just have
to duct tape people up until they act straight, because just
the behavior is too repulsive. Sometimes that's called incarceration.
That's what prison is. You either act straight or you
get locked up because you can't live in society. So sometimes
there is some discipline in the home that has to be dealt with.
We'll talk about that some next week. Just to correct wrong behavior. But realizing that correcting
the wrong behavior isn't teaching the right thing. Isn't instructing
in righteousness. That's why I wanted to spend
a whole sermon on this. Let's recall chapter 4 of this
letter. Verse 29, after he talks about
not being angry and giving no room for the devil, giving no
opportunity to the devil, and that's the fourth thing, is that
continued anger allows Satan to have a working table in your
life. In Ephesians 4, 29, Paul instructs,
let no corrupt talk come out of your mouth, but only the talk
that builds up. As fits the occasion. So which
one is going to come out of anger? Corrupt talk. Which one is going
to come out of gratefulness? Building up talk. You see how
we discipline there? See how we train in righteousness
there? 431. Let all bitterness be put
away. Let all wrath be put away. Let
all anger be put away with all malice and all slander be put
away. Fathers, put it away. Put it away. It's dead. You're alive. Quit grabbing that
rotten coat and putting it on your body. Take it off. And stop. But I can't. Be careful by saying
that. Because God has already. See
what happens when we say we can't stop. Because the Scripture teaches
that God has already done the work in us. He's already saved
us unto good works which He prepared beforehand. So how is it that
we are slaves to sin and still saved? It is a lie. It is not
so. It cannot be. You cannot be a
slave to sin and be in Christ. It is impossible. Will you be
perfect? No, because John says, if you
say you have no sin, you're a liar. But he also says, I write these
things that you may not sin, but if you do, Not when. If you
do, you have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the
righteous. Holy cow. Jesus took that sin on the cross
and I did it. I'm tempted to go to Hebrews
6 right now, but that's my flippiness. Let's keep going. In Ephesians
4, 32, it gives us some extra instruction there. Be kind. Be
gentle. Be tender-hearted. If there's
one thing that my wife tells me more than anything when I'm
dealing with the children, it's just be gentle. And I really don't know what
that looks like. To me, being gentle is not doing anything.
I'll just leave them. Let's go fishing. I don't fish,
but if I did, that's what I would think about. How do I be gentle? Well, you
have to learn that. Can you discipline gently? Yes. Can you correct
gently? Yes. But what's the power in
all this? Because right now, I sort of
feel like everything's in the bowl and nothing's been stirred
and we don't really know what we're making. And here's what
we're making. Here's what Paul's making here.
Paul's saying this in light of the reality that God has offered
forgiveness to us. And so as we look at our wives,
husband, in light of the cross, wives, as we submit to our husbands
in light of the cross, we parent our children in light of the
cross and fathers, we govern and rule and discipline and train
our homes in light of the cross. And that means that the cross
is the object of our redemption. that Christ took on our sin and
that rebelliousness and wickedness and disobedience that we have
toward the Father, and Christ took it on Himself and suffered
and died and paid the debt that we are free. So God's forgiveness in Christ
takes anger and turns it to joy. Takes anger
and turns it to glorious praise. Because we focus not on that
which we are frustrated with, it puts the focus on God's great
mercy toward us in Christ. Do you see that? And so as we
leave this little session here. Understand. That God has empowered
us through forgiveness to walk this way. Why is it important? Don't lose sight of that. It's
important because as the home goes, the church follows. And
as the church is, there is the gospel or the so-called gospel. Why do so many people hate, quote, Christians? Because they're
no different than them. They just got a longer weekend. So look deep, look deep into
your heart, don't let this letter slide out of your head. Don't
let this move on and please understand there's a fullness to it. There's
a fullness to what Paul is teaching. There's a fullness of what God
is doing in the church of Jesus Christ to be molded. Let me remind you of this. Blessed be the God and the father
of our Lord Jesus Christ, who is what blessed us in Christ
with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. Even as He chose us in Him before
the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless
before Him. Love your lives as Christ loved
the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might present
her blameless and spotless, gloriously before Him. Die in love. Obey. Let's pray. Lord, it is good. It is so good
to be able to hear your Word and focus on it. Father, it is
so much more than just medicine. It's power. It doesn't just soothe
over. And give us some food for thought
for a few minutes. It empowers us to walk in eternity. Thank you for those who are here
today and God for those who are not with us today, Lord. We pray
for them and we intercede with them and we know that your power
alone saves and father in Christ, we pray that you would save those
children who sit here and have heard to obey. And Father, I
know within my soul that every child who is able to hear and
understand that is conflicted. because they know that there
are times in their lives where they do not obey. And so, Father, I pray
You would give them peace, that You'd give them power, that You'd
bring conviction of sin, that they might repent and believe.
And Father, that You would just help us as parents to walk faithfully
before our children and before each other and before our brothers
and sisters in the faith. Not as perfect people, but people
who are perfectly redeemed. Being made perfect together. that we might be in one accord. Father, we just thank you for
this opportunity to worship. And pray that as we sit here
with our own frustrations or doubts or concerns or calls in
our hearts and minds, that You would just, through Your Spirit,
teach us to pray and help us to pray that which is to Your
will. That we would know fully that our delight is completely
in You and that the desires of our heart are those things which
You've ordained for us to want. And we pray all these things
in the power and the authority and the name of Jesus, our sovereign
Lord and King. Amen.