Raising Children in God

Seeking once again the help of the Lord, I would like you to turn with me to the chapter we read, Proverbs 22, and the text you'll find in verse 15. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

As we live in a very anti-God society, as we seek to raise our children, whether ours or whether grandchildren or whether nephews or nieces, we have that influence upon them. We're often fully aware of that pull that the world has upon them and upon the mindset that the Christian has and how easy it is that the worldly influence can sort of erode the Word of God that is upon our minds.

The Bible is very clear about the raising of children. The Bible seeks to set straight where children come from, how we are to raise them, and where they are going. We know that children come from the Lord, they are a gift of God. The Bible tells us that they are loaned to us to raise them in his knowledge and in his fear. The Bible tells us that those children do not just suddenly disappear after their lives but they have an immortal soul and that immortal soul is going to either spend an eternity in heaven or an eternity in hell.

And we know that by the raising of our children we are not going to be able to instill in them or beat into them salvation, but we are called to guide them and direct them throughout their lives as the Lord has given to us the instructions as to how to raise them. Although the children may not like this to be labelled as having foolishness in their hearts and yet the Bible is very clear that our hearts by nature are deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. We are prone to go astray. and we need a correction from a loving Heavenly, a loving Father and a loving Mother who get their guidance from that, about that correction from a loving Heavenly Father.

Even today, as we were to go to the shops, we could buy a mobile phone, or we could buy something, it would come with a manual as to how to use it. You go to the phone shop, you buy your phone, you get a big instruction manual, and you look through it, and it tells you how you can charge the phone, how you can update it, and how you can set it all up, and what you can do with it, and what you can't do with it. buy a brand new iPhone and then go swimming with your iPhone because you know that it's going to be destroyed and you learn that because of what is written in the instruction manual. Well God has given us an instruction manual that comes with our children and it's his word.

His word is an unchanging word that spans generations. It doesn't alter with the mindset of the modern generation. It doesn't alter with those who are more intellectually aware of certain things, it remains fixed. It's the unchanging Word of God. It's the truth in a crooked and a twisted generation. The Bible tells us that those who are outside of Christ, they're in the kingdom of darkness and they are influenced by that kingdom. They are influenced by the lies of Satan. And so we have the truth that is handed down to us. We have the truth that when we are given a child, We have the truth of God's word.

This is where they have come from. This is how to raise them. And this is where they're going to spend an eternity. And we have right here in the middle, really, the proverbs of Solomon, the wise man. It was written to us. the wisdom of God. It's like God's wisdom through the pen of Solomon on how to raise children, not only to raise children, but for children to read the Proverbs and to understand where their parents are coming from, why they are teaching them in such a way. The Bible tells us right at the beginning of this proverb, Chapter 1, the Proverbs of Solomon, the Song of David, King of Israel, to know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice and judgment and equity, to give subtlety to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear and will increase learning, and the man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsel, to understand the proverb and the interpretation of the words of the wise and their dark sayings. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother, for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head and chains about thy neck. And so Solomon writes this wisdom under the inspiration of the Spirit of God, that he writes to his son about the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

And so the text that we have is foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. By our sinful nature we reject the wisdom of God, we reject the Word of God, we reject God, we reject Christ, we reject that biblical instruction. but the Bible tells us that children need to be disciplined, children need to be corrected so that they may come to learn this wisdom, that the correction will drive this foolishness far from a child. We live in a day where people say, you know, it doesn't matter, just child-led learning, just let them do whatever they want, just reward the good and ignore the bad completely.

But is that what the Lord tells us? Is that how God deals with his children? Does he just reward our good and forget our bad? No, he does not. Bad must be disciplined. Children must come to understand that their sinful behaviour has consequences. The Bible tells us that there is none good, no, and not one. And so children, as they go forth from the womb speaking lies, they need to be corrected, they need to be disciplined, they need to know love, they need to know care, and they need to be set forth on that right way, that right pathway, knowing that these children, these children have been lent to us from the Lord. Whether you have a child yourself or whether you have influence on children it's good to understand that they've been brought to us by God and in his sovereign providence we are able to have a godly influence upon those children.

1st Samuel tells us in chapter 2 that we have sorry, chapter one, we have Hannah. Hannah who was unable to have any children and she was abused by her fellow wife. And she prayed to the Lord and the Lord heard her prayer and opened up her womb and gave her this child and she named him Samuel. And as the child grew, she gave him back to the Lord. She says, for this child I prayed and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of him. therefore also i have lent him to the lord as long as he lives he shall be lent to the lord and he worshiped the lord there and so she gives back to the lord what the lord had given to her she in had brought her concern of being childless to the lord the lord had answered her prayer she understood that the lord had given her this child and therefore she says i give him back to thee Raising children is an extremely difficult thing to do. It's a great task that the Lord has given to families to raise children. And he tells us that these children are a heritage of the Lord. They belong to him.

It is him who gives life within the womb. It's him that preserves that life in the womb. It's him that preserves both the life of the mother and the life of the baby in delivery. It's him that enables that child to continue to grow. Remember Jeremiah, he said, before you formed me in the womb, you knew me. That these children, that they are known to God. It is Him that gives them life. It's Him that causes them to grow. It's Him that enables their lungs to take their first breath as they are born. And they are lent to us. They are given to us to raise them in the fear of God.

But this is where the difficulty starts. that our children are sinful by nature and that we also have a sinful nature. And so we are seeking to raise children that have a tendency towards sin and we're seeking to do so when ourselves are also sinful, trying to raise children in the knowledge and the fear of the Lord, seeking to set a godly and an upright example for them. If you look at ourselves, each of us have had parents. Each of our parents have sought to raise us in the way that they deemed best. And each of us are here today to sit under the word of God.

And Solomon also noticed that with his own parent, with his own father. He says that my father also My father also sought to instruct me with understanding. In Proverbs 4, it says, hear ye children the instruction of a father and attend to no understanding. for I give you good doctrine, forsake not my law. He says, for I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also and said unto me, let thine heart retain my words, keep my commandments and live. get wisdom get understanding forget it not neither decline from my words from the words of my mouth forsake her not for she shall preserve thee love her and she shall keep thee and so Solomon recognized that his father David also sought to instruct him in the fear of the Lord to give him this wisdom this wisdom that comes from above this truth that comes from above You see, it's very easy if you look back to when you are a child, you think that your parents don't know anything. Especially as you grow up to be a teenager, you think you've got it all, you know everything, you know what you're doing, you know where you're going, and you think that parents haven't got a clue. About Solomon, he says, I was my father's son.

He understood that he had been there before, he had already walked the pathway and he had learnt from his father and the instruction that his father had given to him and he was seeking to pass that wisdom on to his children. And so, young people, don't think that your parents haven't got a clue. Don't think that your parents don't know anything. They have walked that same pathway that you are walking. They have been through the same stages of life that you are going through right now. They have learnt by experience the things that they are talking about.

And when they come to try and instruct you and to guide you, they are doing it because they love you and that they want the best for you. No man hates his own flesh. Every person in their right mind loves their children more than they love themselves. And they want them to get this wisdom, the wisdom of God that comes from above. And they want you to be set forth on that right way. And they understand you better than you understand yourselves.

They know that in your heart is foolishness. And that foolishness can only truly be driven out by the fear of the Lord, by the Holy Spirit indwelling within you. And so the root of the problem that we have in seeking to raise children in the knowledge and the fear of the Lord is that we are all sinners. Sin is bound up in our hearts. The center of our personality, who we are, is foolish by nature. Our thoughts are foolish. Our desires are foolish. Our choices are foolish.

Without the fear of the Lord, we make choices based upon our feelings, based upon our own ideas, based upon our emotions. We think of Lot and the choice that he made based upon what he could see. That was where his heart was. Without the fear of the Lord, it was based upon the things that he could see and that took his heart and that altered the course of his life.

And so foolishness is bound up within our hearts, the very centre of our personality, the very centre of our being. What does the scripture tell us? The fool has said in his heart that there is no God. The fool has said in his heart that there is no God and by our nature, the scripture tells us that's how we are. We live without the fear of the Lord. We live with this ignorance and this foolishness.

And it's the work of parents to try and steer their spiritually blind children on the right course. And we pray over them that the spirit of God would drop that knowledge that we have instilled in them into their hearts, that they may be born again of the spirit.

It speaks about a rod. Foolishness is bound in the heart, the very being of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. This verse has been used over the years to excuse abusive behavior. As we read, keep yourselves from an angry man. And so this verse has been used as an excuse to beat children and to abuse children.

You know the rod does not necessarily always mean beating children to within an inch of their lives. But it's set before us as correction. No doubt Solomon in his culture was able to discipline his children with the rod. But the rod does not always mean beating. It is a symbol of discipline. a symbol of guidance.

If you think of Psalm 23, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. And he says there that thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. They were a comfort to David. He understood that they were there for a specific purpose, that the shepherd used his rod and his staff not to beat senselessly the sheep, but to guide them and direct them and to correct them in the way that he would have them to go. And therefore, the sheep was, yes, afraid, but they were also of a means of comfort, because he understood the benefit that that guidance and that direction brought him.

And so it is with the Lord's people that they are guided and directed by the hand of a loving Heavenly Father. They follow the Lord Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd of his people. And we are to mimic his leading and his teaching and his discipline in the lives of our children.

That rod is a rod of guidance, a rod of authority, a rod of correction, also a rod of responsibility, that those children, they are under our care, under our guidance until the time comes when they fly the nest, they leave home. But there they will never leave our hearts. They are still under the protection. We still pray for them and have concern over them.

And so discipline teaches consequences, that sin has consequences. Discipline is not easy. And it's very difficult to get a correct balance. As we've said, the world say, you know, ignore the bad, only deal with the good. but God both deals with the bad and He also rewards the good. He is pleased when His people obey Him. He blesses His people when they walk in obedience to Him, but also He disciplines His own children.

The Bible tells us that if we do not experience discipline, that shows that we are under the displeasure of God, that we are not one of the Lord's people. And so when the world tells us, do not discipline your children, they are essentially telling us not to love them, just to allow them to follow their own hearts and do whatever they want. But the Bible tells us clearly that our hearts are corrupted by nature and our children will never choose what is right. And so the scripture tells us that if we don't experience discipline from a loving heavenly father then it shows us that we do not belong to him. He corrects his own children. In Hebrews 12 it tells us there from verse 5 Have you forgotten the exhortation which speaks unto you as unto children?

My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him. For whom the Lord loves, he chastens and scourges every son whom he receives. If you endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with a son. For what son is he whom the father chastens not? And so the Lord chastens those that are his, those who are following the Lord Jesus Christ, who are the sheep of the Good Shepherd. They are disciplined throughout their Christian life.

As we looked at this morning, there are times when we drift off. There are times when we become lukewarm. There are times when we grieve the Holy Spirit. And so God the Heavenly Father with a loving hand comes and disciplines us because it is necessary. If you are honest with yourself, foolishness is still bound up within our own hearts. Although we are, we could say, mature believers in Christ, we've been walking with the Lord, yet foolishness is still bound up in our hearts. And therefore God must come and discipline us and chasten us to cause us to return unto him. That correction is necessary. And he has many rods by which he disciplines his people.

Think of David. David, when he sinned against the Lord, the Lord sent to him his prophet. And David suffered a great consequence, a great act of discipline from the Lord because of his sin. God struck David. He says that the sword will never leave your house. He struck the child dead from that immoral relationship. And so David suffered a stroke of God because of his sinful behaviour. But that showed the love of God to David. David could have been cut off But God showed him grace and mercy and disciplined him to bring him back. Think of Simon Peter.

There were some children who don't need physical correction. There were some children that just need a look. You only have to look them in the eyes and they will immediately stop what they are doing. They immediately know, they're fully aware that they've done something that's wrong. They can tell by your face, they have a sensitive conscience. And so one look and they would stop.

Simon Peter, when he denied the Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord Jesus turned and looked upon him. He was immediately overcome with sorrow and repentance for the sin that he had committed, for his denial of the Lord Jesus Christ. Oh, to have a sensitive conscience like that. It is good when we have a sensitive conscience that we don't need extreme discipline, that just a look from a loving Heavenly Father is enough to turn us to sorrow.

So we looked at recently the Apostle Paul. He says, the Lord has given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, another rod that the Lord had to stop him from being exalted above measure. The Lord gave him this thorn to keep him humble, to keep him low.

And so the Lord brings discipline into our lives when we become proud. when we sin against Him, when there is coldness in our lives, in our hearts, when we are distant, sometimes with our own children when they wander off, we have to shout at them to come back, we have to chasten them because they've drifted off and so the Lord comes with discipline and if we don't experience discipline it shows that we're not loved by Him, We're a child without a father.

We're an orphan. We're still in the kingdom of darkness. But those who are adopted into the family of Christ, those who are able to say, Abba, Father, the Lord chastens them and he uses various rods to discipline them. Trials that come into our pathway, that draw us to himself. Sicknesses that come upon us. loss, sorrow, sadness, death, allowing us our own way when we've become so determined and fixed upon something. He allows us to go our own way until we see the error of our ways and turn back and we are disciplined and chastened.

But the hand of every single rod that we pass through is the hand of a loving Heavenly Father. The purpose of the rod is correction and restoration. Never is it to destroy and to drive us away. when we discipline our children correctly. It is never to cause them great harm, but it is done in love so that they understand that sin has consequences.

And we want them to learn from that discipline. We don't want them to fall into the same pit again. We want their ways to be changed. And so it is with God. as he deals with us as his children, correcting us in various ways to draw us to himself, to set us back upon that right course, to chase out the foolishness that is within our hearts, to cause us to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. So discipline is part of the Christian pathway. And we don't go very far. We can't go very far without the Lord coming with the rod and the staff that are a comfort to guide us and to chasten us in order to enable us to cry.

What is the Lord then teaching you and me at this present time in our lives? Are you just sailing on smoothly without any chastisement? Or has the Lord brought something into your life at this time and he is chasing you? What is he teaching you? A good father explains to his children why he is disciplining them. He takes them aside. I am doing this because you have done this and this and this. I'm doing this and it hurts me to do it. And so the Lord makes us aware of the sins that we have committed. What is he teaching us? this present time? How is He correcting us? What have we learned?

If you looked back to that last time the Lord chastened you, have you learned from it? Or have you fallen into the same pit? Have you gone down the same pathway? Are you committing the same sin? Or have you been able to overcome that one? Is that same foolishness still within our hearts? Did the rod of discipline drive it far from us? Has there been another weed that has grown up in its place that needs to be cut down?

And so the Lord will continue until the day that we depart, this world to chasten us. Only then will we be ripe for glory, to be gathered in to heaven forever and ever. So the scripture tells us, train up a child in the way that they should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. What a comfort that is to so many.

They've tried their hardest. We have tried our hardest. We've set the boundaries of the word of God. We've sought to instill in our children the ways of righteousness, but they've gone. But our prayers follow them. Prodigal sons and daughters that are far out in the world, The scripture tells us when they are old they will not depart from it. Someone was speaking to me in Kenya recently and he was saying that there are some men that have come to the church there and the men said that they recognize the teaching They went back to their Sunday school days, when years ago, when there was a missionary in the area, and they had attended a Sunday school, and they heard the word of God. The missionary had gone, and they had continued on. They hadn't been happy with the churches, so they had stopped going to church.

When they came to the mission, the word was brought to their memory. it hadn't departed from them, it was still there within their hearts and they've continued coming to the services, continued coming to the mission and so it's an encouragement that the word that is sown in the minds of the children while they are young will remain there and in the purposes of God it will bring it back into their memory and into their souls before they pass on and they will be brought to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. foolishness is bound in the heart of a child but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. May the Lord give us that wisdom we need to raise our children and may we also recognize the hand of a loving heavenly father as he chastens his people as they walk the narrow road that leads to life. Amen.

Let's sing our final hymn this afternoon from Hymns for Worship 120. 120. Come, ye sinners, poor and wretched, weak and wounded, sick and sore. Jesus ready stands to save you, full of pity, joined with power. He is able, he is willing, doubt no more. Hymns for Worship 120, tune 691. He's dead, and low, and wretched, weak, and wounded, sick, and sore. Jesus' bread He sends to save you, full of pity, joy, and power.

♪ He is able, he is able ♪ ♪ In his ways of the world ♪ ♪ Come ye needy, come and welcome ♪ ♪ God's free and deep Lord ♪ To believe the true inventors, every praise that brings us nigh. Without money, without money, how to Jesus Christ abide? Let not conscience make you linger, Nor humbleness fondly dream, Nor deafness in requiring, ♪ It's to fill the need of men ♪ ♪ This he gives you, this he gives you ♪ ♪ Tis that man is right in thee ♪ Come in wind, bring heavy laden, girls can bear them by the whole. If you tarry till you're better, you still can pass on the tour.

♪ Of the righteous, of the righteous ♪ ♪ Sister of Jesus, sister of God ♪ ♪ With prostrate in the garden ♪ ♪ Of the crowned old man ♪ It is finished, it is finished Holy God and God Ascended is the merit of His blood. It shall hold Him, the true glory and the hope of the trusted few. Now may the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God the Father, the fellowship and communion of the Holy Spirit, to be with you all now and for evermore. Amen.

Raising Children in God

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Raising Children in God

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