Bible's with me to the book of
1st Corinthians. I'm going to read two verses
for a text. 1st Corinthians chapter 7. I
announced Sunday morning that I'd be preaching tonight on the
subject marriage and divorce. In 1st Corinthians 7 verse 10
says, and unto the married I command, yet not I but the Lord, let not
the wife depart from her husband. But, and if she depart, let her
remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband, and let not the
husband put away his wife." Now, the first thing that I must determine
in presenting my subject tonight is to whom am I speaking, to
whom are we talking. Now I have to say this, I am
not in the main speaking to the unregenerate. This is not a message
that I would bring to a throng of people outside the church
because I'm not saying now that the laws of marriage do not apply
to the unbeliever. They do. They certainly do. But what I'm saying is, how can
a minister of God appeal to a person on the basis of the Scriptures
when they don't believe the Scriptures? You see what I'm saying? In other
words, if what I'm appealing, I'm appealing for building a
home and building a marriage and building a happy relationship
on the basis of the Word of God. And if a person does not believe
the word of God, then I have nothing for him. He'll have to
go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a marriage counselor. But
if you're a believer and your concern is to do what God says,
like the dear old lady who wrote to me yesterday, she's in her
late 70s or early 80s and she's under such a great burden, her
husband's an invalid, and she says, I have such a burden to
carry but said the lord knows and he cares and what pleases
him pleases me and uh... that that's the attitude of a
believer what pleases him pleases me and then how can a minister
appeal to a person on principles by which he doesn't live you
see i'm appealing to myself and to you tonight to build a marriage
and build a home on the basis of scripture And if a person
doesn't believe the Scripture, then I can't appeal to him. And
principles of godliness, and if he doesn't follow those principles
and are not willing to follow those principles, then I have
nothing for him. Or how can I appeal to a person for the glory of
a Savior that he does not love? You see what I'm saying? So this
is the basis of the message. I'm appealing on the basis of
Scripture, on the basis of the principles of godliness and holiness,
and on the basis of the glory of Jesus Christ. So my message
mainly is directed to born-again, regenerated believers whose desire,
whose desire is to do the will of God, and whose desire is to
glorify Jesus Christ, especially in his private life. Now some
of you here tonight are not married. Perhaps the message tonight will
impress upon you the seriousness of marriage. I hope that it does.
Perhaps it will impress upon you the great responsibilities
of marriage. I hope that it does. Perhaps
it will impress upon you the difficulties of marriage, and
perhaps it will impress upon you the joys. I hope that I present
marriage. I don't like books entitled Like
this, for example, how to be happy though married. That doesn't
speak well of an institution which God ordained. I kind of
resent that. I think a person who's not married
is less happy than one who is. I think our happiness depends
a great deal, I know it depends on the grace of God, but it depends
a whole lot on ourselves. We're not happy because we're
not happy people. We're not happy because we don't have the Savior.
That's the main thing. So I resent books with those
kind of titles, don't you? I think it's a slam on the grace
of God and on the family of God and on the institution of marriage.
And I want the young people here to know that marriage can be
and is a very happy, wonderful, enjoyable state. The happiest. And then some of you here tonight
are newly married. And I hope that I'm able to help
you tonight to build a home based upon Christian principles, based
upon the Word of God, a home where Christ has preeminence,
where Christ is glorified. Really, I believe there are unsaved
people who are happily married. I wouldn't dare say a person
cannot be happily married if he's unsaved. I wouldn't say
that at all. Because the Apostle Paul says if a saved woman is
married to an unsaved man and he's content to dwell with her,
let them remain married. If a saved man is married to
an unsaved woman and she's content to dwell with him and they're
happy, fine. That's all right. I'm saying
that you can be happy. And there are some marriages
in the church that aren't happy. So that's no magic formula. So you young people have to build
your partnership and build your relationship and it'll depend
on both of you It'll depend upon both of you to build that Partnership
and relationship that God will bless and then some of you here
tonight have been married before in your divorce now you listen
very carefully to me and now you're married again and The
Lord has been pleased to bring you to Christ that people here
tonight who? have been married in the past,
and divorced, and you're married again, and God has saved you,
God has redeemed you, God has redeemed your wife, you're happily
married, you love Christ, you're redeemed, forget the past. Just
flat forget it, and don't bring it up again. And don't let anybody
else bring it up, and don't let some jack-leg preacher bring
it up. Just forget the past. Put it in the past, that's where
it belongs. Now I'll give you this reason. You know, when the
Lord Jesus Christ met with a woman at the well who had had Five,
what did he tell her? Go and sin no more. Don't do
it again. That's what I'm telling you tonight. Now, don't you do
it again. You see, you belong to the Lord
now. You're His child. Go and sin no more. Don't go
divorce the now and this one and marry another one. Go and
sin no more, but forget the past. You see, let it be in the past.
For example, you can now build a marriage for the glory of God.
You can now build a happy home for the glory of God. And somebody
says this, well, you're supposed to go back and straighten out
the past. Well, the murderer would have a hard time bringing
his victim back, wouldn't he? Suppose a fellow shot somebody
20 years ago for God's sake, and what, you're going to resurrect
him? You can't do a thing in the world about the past. God's
done a whole lot about the past. He says, I remember your sins
no more. And I'm real tired of preachers
who will take gamblers and drunks and murderers and anybody else
in the church, but won't take a divorced person. That's the
most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. That's discrimination
is what it is. And it's putting one sin above
another. So I say to everyone here tonight,
if you've been married and divorced, forget the past. Our Lord said,
go and sin no more. Now then, I'm not saying to any
believer here tonight that he has any, any grounds for divorce
in his wife. No believer that his wife's a
believer. If two people here tonight know
Christ and love Christ, you have no grounds for divorce. Your
command is to build a home for the glory of God. So I'm preaching
to people tonight who love Christ, who are dedicated to His glory,
whatever the cost. Without Him, I can do nothing.
Without Him, I can do nothing, but I can do all things through
Christ, which strengtheneth me. If one thing is established,
I am concerned for His glory, and it's more important than
my desire. Now, for example, this is what
I'm saying. I'm pastor of this church, and
what's the most important thing in my life? What I want? No,
sir, it's the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ in this church.
And that's to be put first, all right? You're a Christian. You're
a believer. You have a testimony. You have a witness. You have a gospel to glorify
and to adorn. And that comes before your petty
differences, and it comes before your desires and your wishes
and your will and anything else. It's for the glory of the Lord
Jesus Christ. His gospel and his church are more important
than my comforts if I'm uncomfortable. And his commands are more important
than my desires. And my relationship with others
is to be determined by my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Now
here's a solemn word, and I think this is where this whole thing
begins. I've established this. I'm speaking to believers. I'm
speaking to those whose desire is to do the will of God. I'm
speaking to those who love Christ and who love his church and his
gospel. And you want what you do, wherever you do it, to be
for his praise and his glory, and in turn you'll be happy.
But here's a solemn word. There are plenty of people who
choose to impress the world and the Church with their faith in
Christ. They're so concerned about what people out there think.
They're so concerned about what people out in the world and what
people down at the Church think. Well, now let me tell you this.
You may care a great deal about what others think, and I think
we ought to have some concern for what people think, but the
wise man, the wise man here tonight and the wise woman is that individual
who's concerned for a good testimony at home. Now think about that
a moment. These are the ones who, these
are the ones I want to impress. These are the ones who really
know me. My wife, my children, my grandchildren. because the
mask is usually removed at home, isn't it? Now those are the people that
we ought to be concerned with impressing concerning our faith
in Christ and our godliness. I really wouldn't give you two
cents for a public religion that does not show love and compassion
and tenderness and gentleness and kindness at home, would you?
All the people out there in the world say he's a fine man, he's
an upstanding man, he's a believer in Christ, he's a Christian.
His wife has other thoughts. His children have other thoughts.
I'd heap, brother, those out there say that he's not a Christian
and have these here at home say he is. We know him. We live with him. We know he
loves Christ. Because he evidences that and
he gives evidence of that in the home. Now if my wife doesn't
respect me, and my wife does not respect my testimony, it
must not be much. If my children do not respect
me and do not hold me up as an example of godliness and Christianity,
the good chance is I've missed Christ, whatever everybody else
thinks. That's so. So this is what I'm concerned,
really concerned about. I'm concerned about what my wife
and my son-in-law and daughter-in-law and my children think about my
faith. Because they are the ones who
know me. They're the ones with whom I live. And this is such
a regrettable thing that people are so righteous in public and
so holy and pious in church and so hard to live with at home. This is inexcusable. And it's
certainly not the mind and the will of the Lord Jesus Christ.
So this is my direction tonight. I'm talking now to this person
right here and that person out there that loves Christ for a
fact and loves this book and wants to do what the Word of
God says. And is not particularly anxious to impress the world
with his piety or righteousness, but he does want to impress that
wife and those children. and those loved ones at home.
He wants them to love his Lord, and he wants them to love him.
And he wants to build a relationship and a home for the glory of the
Lord Jesus Christ. Let me have peace in my home,
and I can take whatever the work offers, whatever the world offers,
whatever conflict I have outside, if I can have that joy and peace
at home. My children won't go to church with me. Well, maybe
there's a reason for that. Have they got no respect for
you? Have they got no respect for what you preach, what you
believe? My wife won't go to church with me. Can you blame
her? Can you really blame her? My husband won't go. Well, perhaps
he's seen something in you that causes him to doubt what they're
preaching down there. Maybe my life has brought reproach
on the Lord Jesus Christ. So to the broken heart, to the
contrite spirit, to the person who says, speak Lord, thy servant,
hear it. to that person, that man or that
woman, to the disciple of Christ, I've got some things to say about
marriage. Now, first of all, marriage begins with certain
vows. I've married a lot of people,
and I stand down here and they stand before me, and I wonder
in my mind, I'm wondering as I'm repeating these vows, are
they hearing what I'm saying? Here they are in the house of
God, at least dedicated to God's worship and God's glory, Here
they are standing before a minister of the gospel. Here they are
standing before an open Bible. And they're taking upon themselves
certain vows. Vows, mind you. They're establishing
a contract, and this is what I said when you got married.
Do you promise, Bob, in the sight of God and these witnesses? Whoo! Now, brother, you talk
about importance. And I turned and I said, do you
promise Becky in the sight of God and these witnesses that
you'll do? And you said, I will. You see
what I'm saying? And you said, I will. You said,
God, I will. Now let me show you some scripture.
And you may regard that lightly. You may take that very lightly.
But I guarantee you, the Lord of Heaven doesn't. Let me show
you some scriptures on that. Turn to Numbers 30. Numbers chapter
30. Numbers 30 verse 2. Numbers 30
verse 2. Now he said in another scripture,
let the pot sherds of the earth strive with the pot sherds of
the earth, but let not a man strive with his maker. Now you
may break some earthly contracts and some earthly agreements.
Your word may not be worth two cents, but I'm telling you this,
you better weigh your words when you start bowing to God Almighty.
Numbers chapter 30 verse 2 says, If a man vow a vow unto the Lord,
or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond, he shall not
break his word. He shall do according to all
that comes out of his mouth, if he vows a vow. Look at Ecclesiastes. Turn to the book of Ecclesiastes.
Let me read you something here. This is an interesting scripture
here. Ecclesiastes 5, beginning with
verse 1. Ecclesiastes 5. I want you to
find it. I'm going to give you time. Do
you promise in the sight of God and these witnesses? Now this
impresses me. It's something to which I agree.
And then we take so lightly, well, we'll just get a divorce,
you know. Now hold on here. Hold on here. What God hath joined
together. Was this said? Let not a man
put asunder. In Ecclesiastes 5, keep thy foot
when thou goest to the house of God, and be more ready to
hear than to give the sacrifice of fools. They consider not that
they do evil. Be not rash with thy mouth. Let
not thine heart be hasty to utter anything before God. God is in
the heavens, thou upon earth. Therefore let thy words be few.
Look down at verse 4. When thou vows to vow unto God,
defer not to pay it. He hath no pleasure in fools.
Pay that which thou hast vowed. That's what I'm saying, John.
Marriage begins with a vow. That's how it starts. I promise
in the sight of God and these witnesses that I'll be to thee
a loyal, devoted husband. You know, when that fellow Jephthah,
was that his name in judges, promised he was going to kill
the first one that came out to meet him? That was his name,
wasn't it? And he came back and his daughter came out to meet
him. Now, I'm not prepared to speak on that tonight. And I
don't know whether he sacrificed her or whether she remained a
virgin or whatever, but he said, the first thing that comes out
to meet me, I'll sacrifice it to God. And his daughter ran
out to meet him and he said, I vowed a vow unto God, I can't
go back. I can't go back. Now I wish you
and I had that kind of understanding. Does this matter? I'm talking
to believers now. I'm talking to believers. It
doesn't matter what an unbeliever vows, he's under God's judgment
anyway. But I'm talking to believers,
and when we, we need to regard, you young people listen to me,
when you stand there, you better have every intention of keeping
it. And when you get these little, little spats and spits and all
these in, we're incompatible, you know, that kind of stuff,
you know, you better remember, it's better to be incompatible
with a human being than incompatible with God. And we've made an agreement. And we've vowed a vow. And that's
going to stand. Now that's all there is to it,
that's going to stand. I've spoken to my God, and my
God has spoken to me, and I'll take this matter in prayer to
Him. And the difficulties upon me and the trials that have brought
upon me, I'll take it to my God, but I'm not quitting. I'm at
no discharge in this battle. I'm not surrendering. I'm not
going back. I've spoken to the Lord, and
I can't go back. I can't go back. All right. Turn to Genesis 2. Here's the second point. That's
the first point. Marriage begins with certain vows. I like what the preacher said
one time. He's a pretty old man, you know. He lived with his wife
49 or 50 years. And somebody said to him, said,
uh, Brother Floyd, you ever think about divorce? Nah, he said murder
a few times, but never divorce, you know. But that's just all there is
to it. Now, here's the second thing. Marriage has certain guidelines. Marriage has certain guidelines,
duties, and responsibilities. Now, I word that just like I
mean to word it. Duties. Marriage has certain
guidelines, certain duties, and certain responsibilities upon
each party. First of all, the man. Genesis
2, 24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife. And they shall be one flesh.
She's your family now. She's your family now. Don't
go running to mama. She's your family. That wife
is your family. And young lady, don't go running
back home to daddy. That man's your husband. You're
one flesh now. You're built a home. You've got
a marriage. And I say this to every man here. Your wife is
your wife, and she's your wife before mama and daddy, and before
brother and sister, and before anybody else. She's your wife.
And you defend her, and you respect her, and you protect her. And
the same thing goes for the wife. You're one now. And that man,
it's his responsibility to the greatest measure. God gave it
to him. He says, a man shall leave his father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be one flesh.
Colossians 3. Colossians chapter 3. Colossians
chapter 3. And here in verse 24, Colossians
3 verse 24. Verse 19, I beg your pardon,
Colossians 3 verse 19. Husbands, love your wives. Love
your wives. And be not bitter. I hate to
hear a man call his wife the old lady. I really do. That's
not respect. Be not bitter against them. Love
them. You have every reason to love them. You know, when you
took that wife, she changed her name and took your name. She
left her home, moved to your home. She gave up her friends
and took your friends. She moved from where she wanted
to live to where you worked and had to live. She submitted to
you. She gave you children. And men
need to realize these things and be not bitter. Be not bitter
against them. Turn now to 1 Peter 3. 1 Peter
chapter 3. In the 3rd chapter of 1 Peter,
verse 7, he says, Ye husbands, dwell with your wives according
to knowledge. That's common sense, wisdom,
understanding, some knowledge. Don't be a brute. Don't be a
dumb head. Dwell with your wives according
to knowledge. Learn some things. Giving honor
to your wife. She's to be honored. She deserves
honor. You know, men go to work. And
then, you know, I've heard husbands say this often. Their wives will
go shopping somewhere and leave them with their children. All
two or three or four children for about three hours. And the
wife comes back and he's just shot to pieces, you know. He's
won high, high. You know, he doesn't want to
put up with that much. She puts up that 365 days a year. You go on vacation, deer hunt,
and you're gone five days. If she goes to the beach, she
takes all three children with her. Gotta be sure they got clothes,
gotta be sure they got food, gotta be sure they got three
meals, gotta be sure they got things to sleep in, gotta be sure they're
in bed, be sure they're up. They're never free. How many
of you women ever had a total vacation for two or three weeks,
wait, don't raise your hand, from your children, because you
might be asking for it. But you just never have, you're
never away. You never. And men ought to understand
these things. Give honor to the wife as unto
the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life,
that your prayers be not hindered. We ought to look at that, men. If we can't love our wives and
can't treat them right in gentleness and tenderness and dwell with
them in knowledge, don't bother to pray because God won't hear
you. Isn't that what it says, Jerry?
Just don't bother to pray. You're wasting your time and
everybody else's too. Turn to 1 Timothy chapter 5. See how serious this is? 1 Timothy
chapter 5, verse 80. Now let me tell you something.
When you start thinking about getting a divorce and these things,
let me tell you something else. I said marriage begins with a
vow. I'll tell you something else.
There's a responsibility. responsibility and then there's
something else about some children we've got and God says if any
provide not for his own And it's not just providing them with
shoes on their feet and clothes on their back I mean providing
them with security and a home and a father and a mother Especially
those of his own house. He denied the faith and is worse
than an infidel. We got some provisions I've got
a responsibility. I'm a man. God made me a man.
And I've got responsibilities to God, and I've got responsibilities
to Doris, and I've got responsibilities to my children. Responsibilities
as a believer, as a father, as a priest of a home. The priest
better not resign from his place. I'm talking to Christian fathers
now. God's made you the priest of that home and given you a
birthright. You better not despise it. Esau did, and God sent him
to hell. Didn't he, Charlie? He despised
his birthright. That birthright wasn't money
or inheritance. It was a place of leadership. Spiritual leadership
in that home. And I'm just not ready to give
it up. I'm going to bear that. That's the reason I say marriage
has certain guidelines, duties, and responsibilities that are
upon the shoulders of a prophet. You say, well, I'm just not big
enough for this. Walk in the light God gives you, and he'll
give you more. Do what God leads you to do, and God will give
you more life. Take the initiative, take the responsibility, take
the duty, accept the challenge, and follow the Word of God. Come
hear the man God gave you to teach you the Word of God. He'll
teach you other things. God will through His Word. Now
a woman, Genesis 3, 16. Genesis 3, 16. It says in Genesis 3, 16, he
talked to the woman there after the fall, after the sin, and
he said to the woman, I'll greatly multiply your sorrow and your
conception. In sorrow you shall bring forth
children. You see, God ordained that women should bear children
to begin with. God didn't change the makeup
of the woman after they fell or the makeup of the man, the
general makeup. God created male and female, man and woman. He
created them male and female. And when they fell, he didn't
change Adam's appearance. He said Adam was still a man
who took care of a garden, but he was cast out of that garden.
And he said, by the sweat of your brow, now you'll earn your
bread. The thorns and the thistles have
come up, whereas they didn't come up before. And to the woman
he said, I'm going to multiply your sorrow in conception. She
was going to have children anyway. That's according to the word
God told him to multiply and replenish the earth. Well, know
what he said to them? Before they ever fell. But as a result
of rebellion in the fall, you see, women travail. And they
go through this valley of darkness and suffering. In sorrow shalt
thou bring forth children, and because of your sin your desire
shall be to your husband. To your husband. You'll be subject
to your husband. That's what he means. This word
desire here is not a of sexual desire, this is authority, this
is subject to your husband, and he shall rule over you. So the
husband is to rule over the household. Now, Ephesians 5, Ephesians chapter
5, in Ephesians the fifth chapter, verse 22, Ephesians 5, 22, he
says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto
the Lord, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of
the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He's the Savior
of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ,
so that the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything.
And husband, you love your wife, even as Christ also loved the
church. Now here, I find this to be true, and I think most
women would agree with this. it's not difficult to be submissive
to a husband who loves you and who treats you right. Where you
have most of this rebellion, of course I know there's some
rebellion by nature and there's some wives that having little
grace, they want to rule. But generally speaking, if the
husband is a gracious and kind and good example, The wife likes
that security. She likes that protection. She
likes to let him make the decisions. She likes to give that responsibility
to him. Now then, turn to 1 Corinthians
7. I'm going to get on something now I want to handle as delicately
as possible, and yet it's been handled so delicately that it's
been mishandled. Somehow, we've been misled by
religious leaders and religious prudes. To look upon the relationship
between a man and a woman as something less than spiritual.
It's not so. And I think the Roman Catholic
nuns and priests have been responsible for a great deal of this. They
seem to imply, they have their priests take some kind of vow,
you know, that they'll never marry. and the knowings that
they'll dedicate their lives to God and never marry, they
seem to imply by that that holiness is connected with sexual abstinence. And this is the futherest thing
from the Word of God that can possibly be taught. Actually,
some of those people are more ungodly and unholy than anybody
in the world. It has nothing whatsoever to
do with it, and I can show you that in God's Word if you look
at 1 Corinthians 7 verse 1. Now let's look at this carefully.
Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me, it is good
for a man not to touch a woman. Saved by the man? No. That's
not why he's not talking about it's good as far as holiness
is concerned. And as far as godliness is concerned,
let me show you two verses that explain what this means. Verse
26, same chapter. I suppose, therefore, that it's
good for the present distress for a man so to be. He's talking
about not marrying, the present distress, present world, the
present life. Art thou bound unto a wife, seek
not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife,
seek not to marry. But if thou marry, thou hast
not sinned. If a virgin marry, she hath not
sinned. Nevertheless, such shall have
trouble in the flesh. See what he's saying there, Jay?
But it's fair. You know, there's no question
when two people marry, now they're accepting a responsibility. And
you're going to have trouble. You're going to have a child,
and that child's going to die. You've never married, you've
never experienced that. You're going to have trouble yourself
in marriage, difficulties. A man's going to have to work
harder. He's going to have to pay for
a home. He's going to have to feed and clothe children. He's going
to have to put children through school. All of these things,
you see, that's distresses. There's certain sorrows and distresses. And then another thing, it may
be, like he said in the previous verses, that a person who's married
is not at liberty to spend as much time in the service of Christ
as he would be if he wasn't married. And a woman, the same thing.
A woman not married, if God's given her that gift, if God has
directed her in that path in life, fine, that's fine. It's
got nothing to do with holiness. Turn with me to the book of Hebrews,
chapter 13. The book of Hebrews, chapter 13. In Hebrews 13, verse
4, He says marriage is honorable
in all. Marriage is honorable in all,
and the bed undefiled. It came down to the place almost
where you didn't mention that a girl was pregnant, you know.
You're supposed to say that in such a way that nobody knew what
you said. But the most beautiful thing in the world is to bring
forth a child. And we've pushed this thing,
we've intimated that the beautiful relationship that God made, but
He created them male and female. It says in the book of Genesis
that the man and woman were both naked, and they were not ashamed. And listen, look to 1 Corinthians
11. Turn over there a minute, keep that 1 Corinthians 7, I'm
going to read it again. But look at 1 Corinthians 11.
A man is not complete without a woman, and a woman without
a man. Let me show you that in 1 Corinthians
11. Nevertheless, 1 Corinthians 11, verse 11, neither is the
man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in
the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man
also by the woman. But all things are of God." God
made woman and man for each other. And God sanctified. And like
He said to Peter, don't you call common and unclean what I've
cleansed? And that's what they've done. This generation has taken
it too far, but at least they've let some people out of jail in
reference to this thing. Miss Prude doesn't undress in
the closet anymore. Her pastor and her mother messed
her up along that line. Or some old Puritan she read.
Look again at 1 Corinthians 7. Verse 2, Nevertheless, to avoid
fornication, because God ordained this need, God ordained this
beautiful relationship, and He knows that men and women are
going to enjoy this relationship, so He says to avoid fornication,
let every man have what? His own wife. And every wife
her own husband. And let the husband render unto
the wife due benevolence. Now, you know what we're talking
about here, don't you? And likewise the wife unto the husband. You
know who the sinner is? The sinner is not the person
that enjoys the relationship of marriage. The sinner is the
one that denies the other one. That's the sinner. That's exactly
right. And robs them of the joy and
happiness of a relationship that God ordained. Why didn't you
stay unmarried instead of making somebody miserable? That's right. Why didn't you just stay unmarried?
Just be miserable by yourself instead of making somebody else
miserable. Read on. The husband, the wife hath not
power over her own body. I'll do what I please. No you
won't. Now if you're God's child, the husband, it's his body. And
likewise the husband, he hath not power over his own body,
but it belongs to the wife. What's this word? Defraud. Some
of you wouldn't think of defrauding anybody with money. You wouldn't
think of defrauding a person with a contract. But you'll defraud
that person with whom you live. That's what it says. Defraud
ye not one another, except it be with consent for a time. that
ye may give yourselves to prayer and fasting, come together again,
that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." It's time
for some honest, straight talk along this line to men and women
in regard to these matters that have been misused and mishandled. I want you sometime, I won't
read it tonight, but just jot down these two scriptures. In
Psalm of Solomon, chapter 5, Psalm of Solomon, chapter 5.
Now, the Psalm of Solomon is a picture of Christ and His Church.
And the picture is a picture of a man and his wife. And I
want you to read Psalm of Solomon, chapter 5, verse 10 through 16.
She describes Him. She describes Him. And then you
read chapter 7, verse 1 through 9, and He describes her. And I tell you, this is beautiful
Scripture. And then if you can still look
upon that beautiful relationship that God made, that God made,
and look on it with a feeling of guilt, and a feeling of revulsion,
and call it dirty, and all these different things, you've missed
God's message. You've missed it. There's the
joy and happiness that God has given, and I want you to read
Genesis, you get those Song of Solomon, I want you to read those
now, I want the men and the women both to read those Song of Solomon
5, 10 through 16. That woman describes that man
she's in love with. And then in Song of Solomon 7
verse 1 through 9, that man describes that woman. And bless your heart,
it's beautiful. And God made it beautiful. Now
turn to Genesis chapter 24. Old Isaac got married. His mom,
he loved his mama. He loved his mom. And he got
married, I believe it's Genesis 24, 67. And he paid a solemn
tribute to his mother. In Genesis 24, 67, he brought
his bride and took her into his mother's tent. And took her into
his mother's tent. And she became his wife, and
he loved her, and he was comforted after his mother's death. Isn't
that a beautiful picture? He brought that new, beautiful
Rebecca and took her into his mom's tent. She was dead and
gone. But it... You know, if you have
the average attitude of the average person about the relationship
between a male and a female, you'd take her out to the barn
or somewhere, you know, you wouldn't take her to defile your mother's
bedroom, you know. It was such a beautiful relationship. He took her, and the person he
honored the most and loved the most, he took his bride into
her tent. And he was comforted as a result
of her death, or because of her death. All right, the third thing
now, and I hope I've said enough on that, and I want to challenge
the young people. I want you to know that God's
Word, and I want you to read these scriptures. If you want
more, I'll give them to you. Because I think it needs to be dealt
with. There's a happiness you're missing. There's a guilt that
you're feeling you should not feel. There's language and words
that folks have used in the past that just upset me to no end. Because they make that appear
like Peter. God said, don't you call common
and unclean what I've cleansed and what's holy in the sight
of God and what's beautiful in the sight of God and what's necessary.
for the happiness of God's people. The man is not without the woman,
the woman is not without the man. They need each other. Alright, thirdly, duty. But duty
is poor motivation, isn't it? Duty is poor motivation. Now,
I accept this fact, and I know you do too, and this we must
as believers. It's my duty and responsibility
to build my home. It's my duty and my responsibility
to show regard for those in that home. It's my duty and responsibility
to fulfill my obligation and persevering, order, and some
measure of happiness. But I've got a better motive.
Love. Love. I've got a better motive.
Love. The place of love in God's kingdom. The love of Christ, Paul said,
constrains it. How much more happier is a responsibility
if you love the one to whom you're responsible? How much happier
is a duty performed because you'd love to do it, not because you
have to. Not because you have to, because you'd love to do
it. How much better it is to make somebody happy if you love
that person. The definition of love is the
desire to bestow the best that it can on the object of its affection,
whatever that need is. God says the greatest of these
is love. Now about his faith, hope, and love, the greatest
of these is love. Love believeth all things, hopeth
all things, endureth all things. Love gives and forgives. Love
receives graciously and gives graciously. Love honors and respects. Love speaks kindly and considerately. Love remembers and is grateful
and love will never fail. And I say the solution for all
situations is to love a person. That's the solution. Somebody
said, well, I love that person in my way. Well, it's time you
changed your way and started loving them in God's way. That's
all I got to say. Somebody said, well, he loves
in his way, put it on his way. He needs to love God's way. Christ
said, you love one another as I loved you. As I loved you. How did he love us? He gave himself
for us. Fallen man's way is not God's
way. I want to love people God's way,
not my way. Love them God's way. If you love
me, he said, you'll keep my commandments. If you love me, you'll love one
another. If you love me, you'll feed my sheep if you love me.
That's the solution. Now then, let me come to this.
I've preached too long, but we're on good subject. I love you, but I don't particularly
like you. Now that, that's very, you believe
that's possible? I think this is the way you describe, I think,
I think suppose two married people are having trouble. They've been
married a while and they're having difficulties. And he says, well
I just don't, I don't love her anymore. Yes you do. Don't tell
me you don't love her, you're not saved. He that loveth not
knoweth not God. Huh? You know what it says? He
that loveth not knoweth not God. Don't tell me you don't love
your wife. Don't tell me you don't love your husband. If you
tell me you don't love that wife who's meant so much to you, and
you don't love that wife who's done so much for you, you're
the ungrateful wretch is what you are. That boils my blood
to hear somebody say he doesn't love somebody. You're worse than
an infidel if you don't love somebody. I'm supposed to love
my enemies. I'm supposed to love my enemy. I hope you don't mean
what you say. I hope you don't. Here's what
you're saying. I love them, but I don't like
them. I don't like them. And that's very possible. And
I sympathize with you on that. That's very possible. Now listen
to me. And I'm going to shoot us, me,
and all the pieces now. And the ladies will like this,
but I'll get with you later. We can have ways and attitudes
and habits that are offensive. You know that? We can have ways
and attitudes and habits that are offensive. You know people. Now you honestly tell the truth.
You know people you love, but you don't like to be with them.
You don't like to be around them. If you had to have a steady diet
of them, you'd lose your mind. You know that. I know that. That's
true. If there's some folks, I love
them. I wish them the best. I have pity and compassion and
concern for them. I want them to have the best
in the world, but I don't want to live with them. I don't want to live
with them. I'm so thankful. You know, somebody
asked me, Jay, recently out in Texas, it was, how are you and
Jay getting along? I said, we get along wonderful. They said,
well, that's not the easiest relationship in the world, two
pastors in the same church. I said, we love each other. I
like him. I like to be around. We're over here all day long,
every day together. I like him. I like him more than I did when
he came here. That's right. He's pleasing and pleasant and
enjoyable and he works hard and he's just, he's a pleasant person.
But now there's some folks I wouldn't want to be in there with every
day, seven days a week. I love them now. I'm not unhappy,
you know, about that. I love them, but I don't like
them. And I'll give you some reasons. In the home, there's
old Mr. Grouchy. The wife loves him,
but she don't like him. And I don't blame her. He's grouchy. Everybody has to be careful they
don't cross him. Boy, if you cross him, he'll
blow up. My dad was this way, and I know so much better. I
live with this. Mr. Grouchy. Don't upset him. Watch
out your dad's not in a good mood. Just go on out the back
door. What he wants, he gets. What
he wants everybody to do, they better do. Now, I don't like
that kind of person. I don't want to live with them,
do you? I may have to, but I'm saying this is a thing. If a fellow's going to yell and
scream and find fault and grumble and quarrel and complain about
everything, you have to be so careful you don't offend that
person. So careful. They're not going to be happy.
It gives you ulcers to live with people like that. And that's
the reason I think some of you men here, your wives may love
you, but the problem is they got to where they don't like
you anymore. I don't like to be around you. You're not pleasant.
You don't make the room bright. You don't make the day bright.
You don't make people feel comfortable. You're just a plain old grouch,
that's all. And what I'd do if I was you,
I'd change my way. I certainly would. And then there's Mr. Sloppy.
In public, he's neat as a pin. At home, if he got two days off,
he doesn't shave for two days. You know, there's somebody said
cleanliness may not be next to godliness, but I prefer it next
to me. Water and soap will do wonders
for any marriage. That's true. Cheapest thing on
earth. Cheapest thing on earth. Now
men, let's give attention to these things. Give attention
to them. Miss Sloppy needs to also. I
think we ought to be at our best for those that we love the most.
I really do. I think it matters a whole lot.
And then there's Mr. Stingy. Pity the poor girl that
has to spend her life with a fellow that has my money, my car, my
house, my job. Don't you feel sorry for her?
I do too. Don't blame her for not liking him, do you? I wouldn't
like him either. And he can spend money on himself,
but she better not spend a dime. Well, that's almost as bad as
mischarge it, you know. I'd hate to live with either
one of them. They both are difficult. Mischarge
it. She'd put a man's nose to the
grindstone and keep it there twelve months out of the year.
Let me tell you something. Financial problems are next to
sexual problems for breaking up homes. Did you know that?
And we need to learn to live within our means. Now you young
couples, listen to me, you don't need everything today that mom
and daddy took them 40 years to get. You don't need everything
the first two years of your marriage that some folks didn't have until
they were married 25 years. Just live within your means.
Don't let them talk you into getting head over heels and stay
out of debt. There's some things, if you can
safely invest in a home, fine. Make your home payment because
you're going to be paying rent. But now you don't need the best
of everything. You don't need to plunge yourself
into debt. Live within the means that God's
provided for you women. Don't put a burden on your husband
that he can't bear. Don't send him to work with everything
that he makes that week already spent. That's horrible. It's horrible. It's the most
difficult thing in the world for a man to know he's working
for nothing. He's working for nothing. Everything he's going
to make this year is already gone. And the men, it's ours. It's not mine, that's ours. And
I think most of the ladies, if you take them into consideration,
well, here's what we have, honey, and you're welcome to anything.
Anything you need, anything that we need, please feel free to
get it, but let's work on this together. And then there's, watch
this, I'm still on this thing, I love you, but I don't like
you. I don't like you. And this is what causes most
of the problems. I think they do love one another, but they
need to sit down and have some understanding about these things.
And I say these things, and you say, well, that's what's wrong
in our home, well, why don't you talk that over? And then there's that
Mr. and Mrs. put others down. Now,
I may not be the smartest person on earth, but I don't care to
be reminded of it constantly. You know what I mean? And I may
not be the most successful person on earth, but I need a little
praise. I need a little encouragement. I think we need to find the good
point about the person and talk about it. Find the good point.
I appreciate you. I appreciate what you've done.
Call it flattery or whatever you want to, but I don't care.
It goes a long ways. It goes a long ways. A little
gratitude, a little praise, a little put your arm around somebody
and tell them you appreciate them. And you just, and you get
up to the table, honey, that was a fine meal. That was just
a good meal. I don't know when I've enjoyed
anything like that, you know. It just, it means an awful lot. But I don't know why some men
feel like those things are sentimental or emotional and they just don't,
beneath them or something. But I'll tell you this, it's
appreciated. And the same thing goes for the
women. And this Mr. and Miss Powder, you ever live
with a powder? They give you the silent treatment. I'll ignore
you. I won't speak to you. That's
hard to take. I just won't speak. Just won't
talk to you. That's, that's, uh, really and
truly, that's cruel, what that is. That trip, that lets you,
that puts you down to the place of a piece of furniture. I don't
speak to that chair over there. If you ever hear me speak to
that chair, you watch out. But I speak to the J if he's
sitting in that chair. But I don't treat him like a
chair. He's more important than a chair. He's somebody. And your
wife or husband's really somebody. They're really somebody. And
then there's Mr. I didn't marry your family. I've
run into that a lot of times. Well, maybe you didn't marry
her family, but they're still her family. And she loves them. Huh? And you can love them, too. And the same thing, too, with
the wife. I don't want to go over to your sisters. I don't
want to go over to your brothers. I don't want to go over to your
mothers. Well, nevertheless, that still is my mother. with
all of her failures and faults, and that lady's still my sister
with all of her failures. And I still love her, and if
I love her, you love her. And understand those things.
And then there's Mr. I forgot. I forgot your birthday.
I forgot the anniversary. It wouldn't be so bad if you
hadn't forgotten the other one, too, you know. I forgot Mother's
Day. I forgot Christmas. You didn't
forget when you were dating. Guarantee you. Or she never would
have married you. Isn't that right? You didn't
forget then. Now she's yours and you're neglecting her. And
you become Mr. Take-It-All-For-Granted. Well,
I'm going to close this with saying this. Now marriage, marriage
is oneness. It's oneness, it's a partnership,
it's a living together in the beauty of Christ. It's a situation
where we need to pay attention to the little things. And we
need to put forth every effort to be liked by those who love
us. To be liked by those who love
us. And to just sit down and let's take inventory of ourselves.
I've tried to do that. I want to encourage you to do
that. It's not her fault. It's not her fault. If there's
trouble, don't blame. You know, that's what Adam did.
The woman you gave me. It's not her fault. The greater
responsibility, I think, lies upon the shoulders of the man.
That's my home, in the sense that I'm the priest of it. You
see what I'm saying? I'm the priest of it. That's what Joshua
said, as for me and my house. He didn't say our house. He said
he was speaking as a priest. He was speaking as a leader.
He was speaking as a man with a responsibility on his shoulders.
He said, I don't know what you're going to do, but I'll tell you
about me and my house. Me and my house. So let's take
inventory of ourselves. Are we really enjoyable to live
with? And ladies, do the same thing.
Are you really enjoyable to live with? And if you're not, and
you know you're not, then we can do something about these
little things. We can put forth an effort to, if you care to,
now this is the thing, it all depends on what you're going
to do about it. I know what God says. And I had a lady stand
in front of my desk a few years ago, and I read some of these
scriptures. She said, I don't care what that
Bible says. And whereupon I closed it. And
I said, well, I don't have anything for you. And I'm sure God doesn't
have anything for you either. But I'll tell you this, I'm dead
serious, and I've thrown in a little humor. I've done it on purpose
because we need to cry and laugh, don't we? But I'm going to do
something about this. I challenge you to do the same
thing. For the glory of Christ. For the glory of Christ. And
people say I love you and they can smile when they say it because
they're saying I like you too. I like you too. And you can be
liked. It's not too hard to be liked. Love begets love. But
let's do something about it. Our Father in Heaven We thank
you for our homes. We thank you for our wives and
the husbands and the children. We thank you, Lord, you've brought
us together by your providence. And Lord, you've given us a responsibility. You've given us a duty and a
privilege. You've given us enjoyment and happiness and you've blessed
our homes. We have so much for which to
be thankful. In this blessed church family,
we have a responsibility here to honor our Lord, to honor the
gospel, to bring no reproach upon his blessed name. Lord,
help us to adorn the doctrine of God our Savior, to adorn it
with a spirit and attitude that's glorifying to Christ. Let me,
as pastor of this church, and my family, And let all, the Jay
and his family, and the deacons and elders here, and those men
and women who've been here so long, and the new ones, and the
new married couples, I pray for them. Lord, give them a joy and
happiness in their heart. Bring them together in one flesh,
those husbands and wives. to love one another, enjoy one
another, like one another, and build together and rejoice together
in the blessings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Let us set a good
example for our children. Let them see our marriages and
long for the day when they can enjoy the same happiness and
bless each, this family, this body of our Lord and each family
represented here. But we feel, as a result of these
words that we've read, a very serious responsibility placed
upon us because we've bowed abound to the Lord and we cannot go
back. And we want our marriages and our homes to be for His glory
and praise. Give strength where strength
is needed, comfort where comfort is needed, and help where help
is needed. For the glory of Him who loved us and gave Himself
for us, in His name we pray. Amen.