Ecclesiastes five right after
the book of Proverbs. Right after the book of Proverbs
I want to read you one verse from Proverbs first before we
look at Ecclesiastes five and we'll dwell most part tonight
in Ephesians five. But we're going to be looking
at quite a few passages of scripture so have your Bibles ready and
I'm starting no music starting a little bit early. give me just
a little more time with this I guarantee you I will keep your
attention and I guarantee that I guarantee you it won't seem
too long. It may seem too long to me but not you. All right and listen to this
verse in Proverbs thirty these verses listen to this if you
never heard these before you may want to jot them down or
you can turn back real fast Proverbs thirty verses eighteen and nineteen
the wisest of men says that There be three things which are
too wonderful for me. Yea, four which I know not, I
don't understand. There are three things too wonderful,
four I don't understand. Number one, the way of an eagle
in the air, the way of a serpent on the rock, the way of a ship
in the midst of the sea, and the way of a man with a maid. Now, Ecclesiastes 5. Now, life
here on this planet is a gift from God Almighty. Everything
about it is a gift from God Almighty for us to enjoy. Now, I know
he tells us not to love the world, that is, not to set our affections
upon, not to set our hearts upon it, but God giveth us richly
all things to enjoy. all things to enjoy. 1 Peter
3, 7 says this, that we are heirs. He talks to the husband to dwell
with the wife in honor and respect, treating her as one who is an
heir together with you of the grace of life. The grace of life. In other words, life is a gift. Everything about it is a gift
from God Almighty to be enjoyed. A gift. Look here at Ecclesiastes
5, verses 18 and 19. Behold, now understand that the
Lord would not allow this to be printed if it were not so.
And you're welcome to look up the context in several passages
of Scripture, the same thought is spoken. Verse 18, Behold,
that which I have seen, it is good and comely for one to eat,
to drink, to enjoy the good of all his labor, that he taketh
unto the Son all the days of his life. which God giveth him. It is his portion. Every man
also, to whom God hath given riches and wealth, and hath given
him power to eat thereof, and to take his portion, and to rejoice
in his labor, this is the gift of God. The gift of God. So we're to enjoy. We're to enjoy
giving all glory to God. Remember where you got what you
got. Enjoy it, though. And I'll add this, we need to
give him the first fruits of it. That's the way we glorify
him, giving him the first fruits of it. Now, don't let this self-righteous,
legalistic world keep you from enjoying the things of this world,
of this life. Religion makes it so that you
feel guilty about enjoying this life. There's nothing wrong with
that as long as you don't have your heart and your affections
set upon it. Did you read that with me? All
right. God giveth us richly all things
to enjoy. Right? Don't set your heart—if
riches increase, set not your heart upon them, though. All
right? Now, there's a very special gift
to human beings. One of the first gifts that God
gave to man when he created Adam was a woman. He said, it's not
good that this man should be alone. And he gave an extraordinary
gift to him, one he wasn't expecting, and one that thoroughly, thoroughly
rejoiced his heart and made his life so much more pleasurable.
This thing of marriage is a gift of God Almighty to human beings,
a gift. A companion, a helpmate, a wife,
a husband is a gift from God. I'll show you that from the Scriptures. Ecclesiastes nine. Turn over
a few pages to Ecclesiastes nine. Ecclesiastes nine, look at verse
nine. Then we'll turn back to Proverbs
and look a few there. Ecclesiastes nine, verse nine. Live or enjoy joyfully with the
wife whom thou lovest. all the days of thy life, of
thy vanity." He does say this world and everything is vanity.
That means that it's not lasting, it'll pass away, but he says,
enjoy it while you have it. Nothing wrong with that. Everything
right with it. It's a gift of God. "...which
he hath given thee unto the Son all the days of thy vanity, for
that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labor which thou takest
under the sun, and whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it
with your might, and enjoy it." All right, Proverbs five. Look
back a few pages of Proverbs five. So he says, a wife, enjoy
your wife. It's a gift of God. She's a gift
of God, and vice versa. The husband is a gift. Proverbs
five, verse eighteen. Proverbs five, eighteen. Again, you'll see the wisdom
of perhaps not letting the the little ones in on these. Look at verse eighteen. Let thy
fountains be blessed and rejoiced with the wife of thy youth. Let
her be as a loving hind or deer in pleasant row. Let her breast
satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with
her love. Proverbs eighteen. Proverbs eighteen,
verse twenty-two. This is a verse of Scripture
that means a lot to me and to my wife. Verse twenty-two of
Proverbs eighteen. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth
a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord. Over one more page,
Proverbs nineteen. Proverbs nineteen, verse fourteen. Houses and riches are the inheritance
of fathers And a prudent wife is from the Lord. Prudent wife. Now let's turn over to Ephesians
5 and we'll stay there the remainder of the evening. Ephesians 5.
And I wanted you to notice how that this thing of marriage is
a gift from God and to be enjoyed and to be esteemed highly. Now,
1 Corinthians 7, for those in here
who are unmarried, for those who are married to unbelievers.
As I said before, I cannot help that I have a responsibility
toward everyone in this congregation, and I have to deal with everything
to all concern. But first Corinthians seven says
this in verse seven, he says, and we'll get I'll get to Ephesians
in a moment. He says, Paul says, Paul was unmarried, he never
was married. And Paul says, I would that all men were even as I myself,
that is, unmarried. But every man hath his proper
gift of God. It's not given to every man.
Every man cannot contain his passions and all and remain unmarried. And then he goes on to say in
the same chapter, he says, now concerning virgins or those who
are unmarried, I have no commandment of the Lord. That is, no commandment
for them to stay so. Yet I give my judgment," he says,
my good sense, as one that had obtained mercy of the Lord to
be faithful. He says, I suppose, therefore,
it is good for the present distress or necessity that it's good for
a man so to be either married or without a wife. He says, though, are you bound
unto a wife? Don't seek to be loosed. Are
you loosed from a wife? Don't seek another. But, and
if thou marry, you have not sinned. If a virgin marries, she hath
not sinned. And let me go on. But he says, brethren, the time
is short. It remaineth that both they that
have wives be as though they had none. And he says, I would
not have you, I would have you be without carefulness that is
overly full of care and consumed with this and that and the other.
He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the
Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that is married careth
for the things that are of the world, how he may please his
wife." Now, it is spiritually profitable to be unmarried, spiritually
profitable to be unmarried. But if you do become married
and are married at this time, it is no sin, but rather it's
a blessing, it's a gift of God. if to a believer. But Paul, in
great wisdom, knew the problems that were involved in marriage.
He knew, even though he was not married himself, he was full
of wisdom. And he advised against it, especially
being unequally yoked to an unbeliever, because you're going to have
a... It's tough enough, two believers living together to make a marriage
work, let alone a believer and unbeliever. just won't work. Yet he commands that if you are
married to an unbeliever, not to depart from the unbelieving
mate in hope that you may be the means of that person's salvation.
Okay? Now, those are a few exhortations
to those who are unmarried and those who are married perhaps
to an unbelieving mate. But the rest, the rest of the
time ought to devote to you who are married. or considering it,
and most of it is going to be directed to the husbands. Most of it is going to be directed
to the husbands because—I have good reason—because the husbands
have the greater part or greater responsibility in this thing
of marriage. No doubt about it. You'll see why. The husbands have the greater
part of responsibility in marriage. I recall a man who was a pastor
who does some so-called marriage counseling, and at any rate,
he says there, I'm not sure that's a wise thing, but I suppose a
pastor would probably be the best one for that job, wouldn't
he, instead of an unregenerate pagan idiot who's been divorced
four times himself. But what I'm doing tonight is
getting all my counseling done with at one time, so nobody has
to come to me privately. But this man said it made sense
to me. He said, whenever this couple
comes in to see me and they're having problems, he said, the
first thing that comes to my mind is, all right, buddy, what
have you done to her now, or what have you not done? He said,
that's the first thing that enters my mind, because generally that's
the problem. It's just a fact. Although it takes two for most
problems, yet since the husband has the greater responsibility,
the greater part of the blame lies with him, usually because
he has not lived up to his responsibilities as being the husband that Scripture's
called for him to be. I know it's hard, but that's
subtle. Listen to this cute little ditty. Listen now, I'm not trying
to be cute, but this makes sense. Ron Trabant is the one that gave
me this. He said, Higgumus bigumus, men are polygamous. Higgumus
bogumus, women are monogamous. You know what polygamy means? It means to have more than one
wife, okay? Monogamous means to have one.
Higgumus bigumus, men are polygamous. Higgumus bogumus, women are monogamous. I'll give you that from the scriptures.
in the fall. This is all a result of the fall.
All of this mindset in a man and a woman is all a result of
the fall, what happened in the garden. It all stems from what
happened in the garden. Man, Adam, he is full of resentment
toward his wife, toward Eve, because he is captivated by her
beauty. I mean, man can conquer planets. and yet be turned into jello
by a beautiful maiden, and the man was innocent. Adam was. Adam was not fooled in the transgression. Adam took one look at that beautiful
woman and just kind of melted and said, I'll go with you, honey,
rather than lose you. Blaming her, and then he blames
her for his problems from that day forward. It's the woman you
gave me. Man, is that familiar? It's that
woman. If I didn't have her, oh, I could. And in the woman, Eve, God said,
because you didn't listen to your husband, therefore, from
that day forward, your desire is going to be to your husband.
You're going to be consumed by him. You're going to be so possessive
of him. You're going to be filled with
jealousy and envy regarding him. You're going to be under him,
even though you're rebellious nature doesn't like it, you're
going to be totally dependent on him, and you're not going
to like that either. But that's the way it's going to be. And so usually the woman, because
of this desire to the husband, usually she is very loyal to
her husband. Usually so. You see what I'm saying? And
these are the root of all problems in marriage, generally. That's
where it started a long time ago. It started with the first
couple. So I want to deal with men more
fully and more forcefully. Now, my wife gently rebuked me
in a loving way. She brought this to my attention.
When we first were married, she gave me a little Bible. for Christmas,
first Christmas gift, wasn't it? She gave me a little Bible,
and I read it, and I underlined everything. You know, when I
got to Ephesians 5, they submitted, I bet you men the same way. When
I got to Ephesians 5, look at this, I underlined, look at,
I underlined verses 22 through 24. When I got to Ephesians 5, I
underlined, wives, submit yourselves to your husbands. Husbands are
head of the wife, but the wife of these subjects, they're husband
of everything. I underlined every verse of that. She brought that
to my attention the other day. You know what I've got underlined
now? Husbands love your wife. Husbands love your wife. That's
Christ's love to church. It's a fact when a man, boy,
that's just what he was waiting on, you know, to see that sort
of thing. Do you hear that, woman? Submit. It won't work. I'm here to tell you. It won't
work. Verse 25 will, though. Husband, love your wife. You
love your wife as Christ loved the Church, I guarantee you she'll
submit to your authority. Guarantee it on the basis of
God Almighty's Word. Well, Ephesians 5, let's get
into it, verse 17. He says, Ephesians 5, verse 17,
Now don't be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord here
is for you. Don't be drunk with wine, wherein
is excess. Be filled with the Spirit. Speak
unto yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing,
making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always
for all things. unto God and the Father in the
name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Now, notice there's a semicolon
behind each sentence there, and then he comes down to here and
stops. Submitting yourself one to another in the fear of God.
He said, don't be unwise, but you need to understand what the
will of the Lord is. The will of the Lord is that
you submit yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord.
Submission is the key to happiness in all things, but especially
in a marriage. The divine wisdom of God Almighty,
the divine wisdom of God is that there's order to things. God orders things. God has purposed
all things for peace, for happiness, for the welfare of all the creatures. Order, there's an order in life. And I'm not going into great
detail in that, but if God's order is followed in every area,
it will go well with thee. Count on it. God cannot lie. If God's order is followed in
all things, if a man's a man, if a woman's a woman, child to
child, let there be, according to the Scripture, everything's
going to be all right. If not, count on problems. You
can count on them. And especially in the home and
the marriage, because as I said, there's nothing tougher to work
at than this thing of marriage. It's hard work. He doesn't have
to be. If a man, if a husband's a husband,
wife's a wife, according to the scripture. All right, look at
verse 22. Why submit yourselves unto your
own husbands as unto the Lord? Now, this is obviously written
to believers. An unbelieving woman cannot submit herself to
a man if she doesn't know the Lord. She can't submit herself
to her husband. She won't do it. She doesn't
have the slightest inkling of what this thing of divine authority
is, who God is and who he has delegated authority to, to Christ,
the Holy Spirit, to the man as the head of the woman, as the
type of Christ and charity, that doesn't make sense to an unbeliever.
So this is obviously written to a believer. And this is a
type of believer's submission to Christ, verse twenty-three,
because the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is
the head of the church. He's the Savior of the body.
Now, this is not for the purpose, not the purpose for a man to
gloat over his authority and say, see there, little woman,
you better submit. I'm the head over you. Don't you forget it.
For him to be all puffed up in machoism, you know, that's not
the purpose of this at all. It's the purpose of it is to
see our submission to Christ. how we're under subjection to
Christ. The purpose, the whole purpose of this is for us to
be in subjection to Christ. And this is a type of Christ
and his church. In heaven, your wife is not going to be your
wife. Your wife is going to be your sister. In heaven, there's
no marrying or giving in marriage. There's no male or female. We're
all equal in war. And in Christ, there's no male
or female. God does not consider you, Terry Kinsley, any greater
than he does Rebecca Kinsley in his eyes. The reason for this
type is to show you that Christ is the head of his church. And
you violate your role in that, and you've violated that type,
and don't expect the benefits of the blessing. But the husband
is the head, even as Christ is the head of his church. And if
the husband says he's the head, head of the wife, and if he has
any brains or sense in that head, He's supposed to have a head
on him anyway. If he has any brains or sense in that head,
he should be, in this sense, the head. He should be the thinker.
He should be the leader, the guide, the conscience. I don't
think we should do this. I think we ought to wait. I'm
just not set on doing this. Let's think and let's pray about
it. The conscience, the protector, the spiritual teacher, the provider,
as Christ is to us, If he's a head at all, if he's got a head on
it, he ought to be all those things. Or he's not a proper
head. And so the wife is to submit
to his leadership. Look at it. Verse 24 says in
most things. It doesn't say that, does it?
It says everything, doesn't it? Everything. As unto the Lord,
as in faith, in God's order. God, this is the way you put
it, even though this man may make mistakes and so forth. This
is where you put me. I'm going to bow to your sovereign
will, and as a type of my faith in Christ, his submission over
me, I submit. Now, let me say this, though.
Let me make a little note here. That submission stops when that
man does anything detrimental to your spiritual welfare, ladies,
and that of your children. That submission stops. Because
you're submissive to Christ your Lord first. He's your husband
first. And if anything he does is detrimental
to your spiritual welfare and that of your children, that submission
stops. If he orders you not to go to
church, just as an example, disobey him. And there's always exceptions
to the rule here. There are some women who have
more sense than their husbands, and they just run the show. And
rightly so, because he doesn't have sense to do it. I'm not
directing that at anybody here, but that's just a fact of the
matter. There are exceptions to every rule. But for a woman
who has a godly husband, his leadership's worth following
in everything, everything. If he truly seeks the Lord for
the good of his family, she ought to follow his leadership. All
right, verse twenty-five. Now, men, Terry said, am I supposed
to hold on to the bench tonight? Yeah, buddy, hold on to your
head, too. Husbands, love your wives. Even as Christ loved the church
and gave himself for it. Love your wife. Isn't that a crying shame that
God has to tell us to love our wives? That's absolutely a crying shame.
But such as we are, such as the beasts that we are. Proverbs
31.10. You don't have to turn. He says this. He says, who can
find a virtuous woman if you have her price as far up rubies? A good wife? The heart of her
husband to safely trust in her so that he shall have no need
of spoil. She'll do him good and not evil
all the days of her life. I pretty much know just about
every woman in here. And I can say to you men, you've
found you a good woman, a virtuous woman. and she'll do you good
all the days of your life. She has done you good all the
days of your life. The wife is a gift from God Almighty,
a favor from the Lord, a favor from the Lord. It's a sad fact,
though, that most wives are literally slaves to a cruel and a hard
taskmaster. Our Lord's not that way. It's
a sad fact that most wives are literally slaves to a cruel and
a hard taskmaster, cooking, cleaning, serving, hand and foot, bearing
his children, which he should have a share and a care of. They're
his children, too. Bearing his assaults, bearing
his abuse, the continual object of his anger, his resentment,
and even fits of his own physical lust. Husbands love your wife. as Christ
loved the church. How did he love the church? How
did Christ love the church? Look at it again. Verse twenty-five,
he gave himself for it. He just didn't give her an allowance
every now and then. He gave himself for it. Listen to this question. In our
marriage to Christ, in our relationship with him, who really serves who? Huh? We're the bride. He's the husband. Who does the serving, really?
Hmm? Come on, one of you men answer
me. Who does the serving? Christ does. Sacrificially, he laid down his
life for her. Completely, body and soul. His soul was made an offering
for sin. His body was poured out unto
death. Practically, he sees to her needs, he cares for her,
he concerns, his concerns are for her, for her safety, her
welfare, her happiness, at the expense of his own. Right? Have you ever thought of 1 Corinthians
7 in this light? I read to you a while ago how
it says that he that is married careth for how he may please
his wife, he that is unmarried how he may please his Lord. Have
you ever thought about this? Marriage to Christ, or true Christianity,
he that is married to Christ careth for how he may please
his Lord. And he that is truly married
to a woman careth for how he may please his wife. Right? The Lord was not condemning
that. Paul was not condemning that
when he said that statement. He wasn't saying that this is
wrong here, you care for how you may please your wife. No,
he said it's good, it's right. It's what you ought to do in
true marriage. Even Christ pleased not himself. Romans 15 verse
6. He laid down his life, sacrificed
his own personal happiness. Now, here's the Here's the command,
husband, love your wife as Christ loved the church, right? How
did he love? He laid down his life, he sacrificed his own personal
happiness, comfort, and prosperity for the comfort and prosperity
and happiness of his wife. Yes. Yes. That is how Christ loved the
church, isn't it? Yes, it is. Do you remember how
that though he was rich, yet for our sake he became poor? He had a lot. Gave it all away, gave himself. I'll not ask for a show of hands
here, but I'm guilty. It's sad to say that many pretending
husbands, I was a pretender for a long time, many pretending
husbands make their wives poor, not rich, poor, make them scrape
and scrimp and try to get by on a scanty allowance or used
and worn out this and that so the husband can be rich in his
own toys and his personal little whims. Most so-called husbands,
guilty so-called pretending husbands, demand their wives give an account
of every penny they spend, even critical of the groceries they
buy, even of necessities, begrudging their wives the slightest little
luxury, while they themselves go off and spend their money
on anything they dang well please. Excuse my French. But that's just the way it is,
and that's a sad thing. Speaking of money, this is the rebuke part. It's
going to get good here in a minute. It's going to get good. But this is helpful. This is
needed. I need this. I wish somebody just spoke to
me like this when I first got married. Literally, really. Speaking
of money, men, if your wife does most of the housework and serves
you all the time and cooking and so forth, the money you bring
home, every dime of it belongs just as much to her as it does
to you. Maybe more. If you paid her an
hourly wage, minimum wage, for the amount of time she does the
work in the home, you couldn't afford the wife you've got. You couldn't do it. You paid
her three, two dollars an hour. Woman's work is never done. Soon
as she's up, by the time she goes to sleep for 16, 18 hours,
she's carrying, feeding, washing, cleaning, doing this and that
and the other. If you paid her two bucks an hour, it'd run into
the millions of dollars in just ten short years that you've been
married. Couldn't, we couldn't afford it because we're staying.
She's entitled to every dime you bring home. It's just as
much hers as it is yours. Read on, look at verses 26 through
28. Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Did not
he empty himself and give him the riches that she might be
made rich? He became poor. Is that not the
way Christ loved this church? Come on. Yes, it is. Verse twenty-six,
"...that he might sanctify and cleanse it with a washing of
water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious
church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it
should be holy and without blemish. Men ought to love their wives
as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself." Man, that's tough, isn't it? This is no advice here, it's
a command. Love your wives as your own body. Be just as concerned for her
feelings, happiness, and pleasure as your own, and more so. All right, now let's really apply
this passage. Look at verses 29 through 33. Let's really apply this passage. No man ever yet hated his own
flesh. But he nourishes, he cherishes
it, even as the Lord's Church. And we're members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined, or cleave, unto his
wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery. but I speak concerning Christ
and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of
you, in particular, so love his wife, even as himself, and wife,
see that she reverence her husband." Now, all—God's Word is so complete,
so beautiful, so complete in every area. It deals with everything. It deals with everything. Paul
said, All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, is profitable
for doctrine, for a proof, for correction, for instruction of
righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, truly furnished
unto all good work. You know that being a good hunt
is a good work. The scriptures are so full. God
would not leave us hanging, leave us ignorant and so forth. Leave
men ignorant as to their duties as husbands, duties as wives,
how to mother their children. In all areas, God deals kindly
and instructively to his people. In all areas. Did you know that
the scriptures are not silent on this thing of sexual intercourse?
They're not silent. Conjugation, I'm going to call
it love-making from here on out, but the Scriptures are not silent
here. On the contrary, they're very
explicit, very explicit. And so it must be very necessary,
right? All Scripture is given by inspiration
of God, prophet before doctor. Do I have to quote that again?
All Scripture. Now, don't be a prude here. Okay? Don't anybody be prudish, that
is. Oh, this is, don't, oh, we never, don't say that word in
here, you know. My mother never used that, you
know. God uses it. God talks about it. Let's be
grown up enough to talk about it. Let's be mature enough. Don't
use any unclean thoughts here to the pure. All things are pure,
especially this. This is a glorious picture. This
is a beautiful thing. Three things. Three things, Solomon
said, are an amazement to me, a wonder to me. Four, I don't
understand. And the last one, he said, a way of a man with
a maid. Beautiful thing, between a husband
and a woman, and a wife, and a beautiful type of spiritual
union with Christ, the type of Christ and his bride, and regeneration. A beautiful type. And the reason that adultery
and fornication are so expressly forbidden and dealt with so many
times in the scriptures is because they're perversions of this beautiful
type. They're perversions of this beautiful
type of Christ and his church. And those who go after other
gods are called adulterers, fornicators. All right, now listen to this.
Stir up your pure mind. I'm trying to stir up your pure
minds, okay? To see the beauty of this thing.
Christ our husband. Are you a believer? Do you trust
Christ? Do you believe Christ? I mean,
you're resting your soul's salvation on the death and the burial and
the resurrection and the righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ alone?
That's what it means to believe Christ, to trust Christ. To depend
and believe on him alone, not your works, not your religion,
not your morality, not your good deed, not your fact that you're
a good husband, a good citizen, and all that, that stinks to
God. That doesn't mean anything as
far as being accepted by God. The only thing God will accept
is your relationship with Christ, whether or not you're in Christ
by faith. Now, for those who trust Christ and believe Christ,
true believers, Christ is our husband. even a man. Steve, you've got a husband.
Thy maker is thy husband, Isaiah fifty-four says. And what he
does, here's what he does for his sweet little girl. He chooses, he chooses his Bible. He chooses his Bible. He sets
his love upon us. He chooses her according to his
own discretion. His own election. He sets his
love upon us. Has to. We're not lovely. Nothing
lovely about us. If you'll read over in the Song
of Solomon, it says I'm black. I'm not anything to look at,
but he sets his love upon you. He flirts with us. You know that
Christ flirts with his people? I'll show you that in a little
bit. He woos us. He romances us. He gives us gifts. He comes to us, he embraces us,
he kisses us, he caresses us, he plants his incorruptible seed
within us, brings forth new life, new life. And his heart beats
with ours and ours with him. His joy is ours and ours in him. And we both receive great pleasure
and satisfaction from this spiritual union. Yes, ma'am. Do you men know, like I said, this thing may get too
long for me. Do you men know that there is
a scriptural way to make love to your wife? Now, I'm quite certain that most
men are very deficient in this area, as they are in most others.
Unless you think you're an expert, do not embarrass yourself by
seeing your wife come and ask for this tape. I'm not trying to be cute, I'm
not trying to be clever, nor am I trying to be suggestive
here this evening, not at all, nor original. This is a vital
area in marriage, vital. If there's no problem, it's fine.
If there's a problem, you've got problems. Am I right? If there's a problem in this
area, there's real problems all the way around in marriage, and
the scriptures are very explicit and deal with it very plainly.
And like I said, I'm getting all my marriage counseling out
of the way at one time. You see, the only thing you can call,
this is the only way you can call this lovemaking. The only way you can call it
lovemaking is when it is for the sake of true love. That's
what I say, it can't be between unmarried people, those who are
married to others. It's a perversion of our love
for Christ, who's our first love. And it can only be called true
lovemaking when it's for the sake of true love and out of
love and desire to please the mate, your partner. True love, listen to this definition
my father gave one time, the best definition I've ever heard
on love, apart from the scripture. seeks to bestow the best it has
on the object of its affection. True love seeks to bestow the
best it has on the object of its affection. So if you do not
truly love your husband, your wife, and you're not seeking
their pleasure, in this thing, then all you are doing is fulfilling
your animal lusts, right? You're not making love. Song of Solomon. Turn over there
now. Let's look over there and see what he says. This is where
it's dealt with so explicitly. Song of Solomon. This is a love
story. I advise all of you to read it.
If you read it, you understand where I'm coming from. If you
didn't read it, then don't you dare accuse me of Don't you dare
lay anything to my charge, suggestiveness or foolishness or filthiness
or impurity or whatever. Don't you dare. You read the
scriptures, you give this five minutes thought before you go
out of here and act resentful toward me and this
thing. I'm trying to help here. I'm trying to help. I need this
and I know you do too. This is a love story. This is
a love letter between a man and a wife. This is a love letter
between Christ and his church. And what we have here is the
love, the wooing, the courting, the flirting, the romancing,
and the actual lovemaking of a man and his wife. It's beautiful. Beautiful. A man with a maid,
a picture of Christ and his bride. All right, look at chapter one,
verse one, a song of songs, which is Solomon's. Let him kiss me
with the kisses of his mouth. Thy love is better than wine
because of the savor of thy good ointments. Thy name is his ointment
poured forth. Therefore do the virgins love
thee. Draw me, we will run after thee. The king hath brought me
into his chambers. We will be glad and rejoice in
thee. We will remember thy love more than wine. The upright love
thee. Draw me, and we'll run together." Now, you men and you ladies,
how is it that you first met your husband or your wife? If I asked each one of you to
give your story, it'd be quite humorous. Quite humorous, I know. I bet you everyone in here met
under similar circumstances. That is, there was a flirting
process, right? Was there not a flirting process
you went through? There was a drawing, there was an interest sparked,
there was a kindling or arousal of feelings toward one another,
was there not? Draw me, verse four, we'll run
after thee. Playfulness. Horseplay. Horseplay. Animals do it. Maybe we need to rekindle it.
You think I'm being silly? Verse 7. Tell me, O thou whom
my soul loveth, where thou feedest? Where you make your flock to
rest at night? Why should I be as one that turns aside by the
flocks of thy companions? Even a little bit of playing
hard to get here. That's what's going on here. Hard to get. Where
are you? Where are you? So there's a flirting
process. Christ flirts with us. Do you
know that? Little things here and there. If you look back in
your life, you'll see little things that he did to spark your
interest in him, to woo you, to draw you. Number two, there's
an adornment for the one you love. You adorn yourself. Look
at verse ten. Men, don't say it's not so now.
You got your vitalis out. That's what I used to wear when
I had her. Vitalis or slicker back, you
know. Go see the little woman. Put
on my sweet smellum. Verse ten, your cheeks are comely.
Rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold. There's nothing
wrong with this. There's everything right with it. Verse twelve,
the king sits at his table, here's the man, Spiknard sendeth forth
the smell thereof, a bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto
me, he shall lie all night betwixt my breast. My beloved is unto
me as a cluster of camphor in the vineyards of Engedi. Behold
thou art fair, my love, behold thou art fair, thou hast dove's
eye. Behold thou art fair, my beloved,
yea, pleasant. Our bed is green, the beams of
our house are cedar. There's an adornment for the
one you love. Christ makes himself attractive
to us. Very attractive. He adorns himself
to win us. He smells good to me. How about
you? He looks good to me. There's
no beauty in him that the world desires him, but there's a whole
lot of beauty in him that I desire him. And the world may not think
my wife's the most beautiful woman in the world, but I sure
do think she's beautiful. And men, if you don't think yours
is, I guarantee you... You know, the men here, there's
men here who work hard. Rough, calloused hands of men,
like Brother Henry here, the grease on his fingernail, Brother
Stan, Brother Joe, Brother Steve, work hard. These rough, calloused
hands are badges of honor, buddy. And don't you ladies ever, ever
resent those rough hands. That's a badge of honor. That's
what's earning the bread around the house. It's a badge of honor. We'll put a little lotion on
them every now and then. She's got tender skin. That's just
good sense, isn't it? Men should try to occasionally
make themselves attractive for their wives. Don't we want them
that way for us? Come on now. We just don't want
them to look good out in public, so other men want to look at
them. But we want them looking good for us and smelling good
and all that. They do, too. Women, hold your amens down,
okay? They do, too. And like I said, I'm not trying
to be clever or cute, it's just so. Clean up, dress up a little bit,
put on some sweet smelling cologne, make yourself desirable to her
or else somebody else might be. All right, there's the adornment.
Look at verse, chapter 2, verse 4. Here's romance. There's romance
in this thing. It's necessary. Verse 4, he brought
me to the banqueting house. His banner over me was love. He took her out to eat. Christ takes us out to eat. Oh,
yeah. Every Sunday morning, we get
a meal. Takes us out to eat. Brings us roses. Christ brings
us roses. Himself, Rose of Sharon. Most
beautiful, sweet-smelling rose on earth. He brings us sweets,
you know, not chocolate honey. By word, it is honey to my mouth.
Takes us out to dinner, even takes us on a trip. Chapter 4,
verse 8, he says, Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse. Come
with me. We'll go up to the top of the mountain. We'll take a
little view from on top of Pike's Peak, Lover's Leap. Yes. Yes, he took her on a little
trip. He romanced her, took her to
dinner. Look at chapter 2, verse 5. Staying there with flagons. That's sweet and good things
to eat. Comfort me with apples. I'm sick
of love. In other words, she's ripe for
the picking. You know, romance is essential.
You're smiling, but this is so. Romance is essential to lovemaking
for a woman. It's absolutely essential. Nearly every woman in here is
shaking, is nodding her head. You know why? Let me tell you
why. She wants to feel like she's an object of your love, not your
lust. She wants to feel like you want
her, not her body, like an object. God'd stop my mouth right now
if this is unnecessary, if this is not a good thing, if this
is not needful. if this is not sweet and pure
and clean and scriptural. All right, let's look at love's
embrace here. Look at verse six. His left hand
is under my head, his right hand doth embrace me. Christ gently
caresses his bride, gently caresses her. The goodness of the Lord
leads me. His touch is one of tenderness,
gentleness. Compassion, sweetness. He's gentle. I'm tender. He touches me gently. His left hand is under my head
in tenderness as if cradling a precious jewel. And His right
hand does embrace me or caress me. You know what that is? Look at verse 7. Sweet, I charge
you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the rows, by the hinds of
the field, that you stir not up, nor wake my love till he
please. Leave us alone. Take the phone
off the hook. And you know you feel that way
at times when you hear the gospel. Do you ever feel that way when
you're hearing the gospel? Maybe somebody right now, oh, this
is so sweet. I just, I'll let it go on and on. It's preaching. It's time to quit. Oh no, go
on. Don't bother us now. The feeling
of oneness between you and Christ and this feeling of oneness here
and this thing of a man and a wife cleaving together. It's a beautiful
thing, Tate, a beautiful thing. Look at verse sixteen. My beloved is mine, and I'm his. So you can't say
that if you've got others. The reason of Delta is forbidden. You know, one plus one plus one
doesn't make two. Three don't make one. Two do.
My beloved is mine, and I'm his. I'm his. Look at chapter six,
verse three. It says the same thing. I am my beloved. Chapter
six, verse three. And my beloved is mine. He feedeth
among the lilies. Look at chapter 7, verse 8 through
10. I said, I will go up to the palm
trees, I will take hold of the boughs thereof, and also thy
breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of
thy nose like apples, and the root of thy mouth is like the
best wine for my Beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the
lips of those that are asleep to speak, I am my Beloved. His
desire is to me, to me. You know, Christ desires His
people. Can you believe that? That's
what she said in the beginning. I'm black. How is it He could
love me? Oh, His thighs, His belly, everything about Him is
so beautiful. How could He love me? No, He
does. He does. Christ loves an old
black sinner that comes to Him. You can certainly love one of
our own, can't we? For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
they too shall be one flesh. It's a great mystery. I speak
of Christ in the church, he said. Now, if you can see the beauty
of this message, I hope you can see Christ in
all this. I hope you can see the need of this message. I hope
you can say these things of him. I hope you can say this concerning
your love for Christ. I hope you feel this way, can
say this about his love for you. And I hope by God's grace that
you can say this about your beloved wife or husband. There's nothing that brings greater
reproach upon the gospel, upon yourself, your family. It causes
greater shame and all than a broken marriage, especially between
believers. And I hope you can say this about
your beloved wife or husband, and I hope you'll do everything
that God enables you to do to make it so. To make it so, may
God enable us To love one another rightly. Men, women, submit yourselves
unto your husbands as unto the Lord. Husbands, love your wives
as Christ loved the church in every way. In every way. Aren't you thankful that the
scriptures deals with it all? I am. I am. I hope this was helpful. I sure do. I don't know what
fruit this will bring. If any, I certainly hope there
will be no resentment here or anything of the kind. But I did
it with a motive for God's glory and for your good, your welfare,
your health. Stand with me and I'll dismiss
this in prayer. Heavenly Father, we thank you
so much. Thank you again for your Word.
We thank you how, Lord, you do not leave us in the dark about
anything, but you tenderly deal with us as little children and
instruct us in every little area very plainly, very explicitly,
so that we can clearly see and understand our role in every
facet of this life. How we thank you, Lord. Apply this to our hearts and
minds and our lives, if indeed they are pure. If not, then may
you convict us of where we failed, and may you purify our minds
by faith in Christ, and may we consider and heed these things
again at another time. The honor and glory of our great
God, according to the truth of his blessed word, which we long
to be true to, And for the good of your people, the good of your
flock, to hold together your people in marriage and church
union, we have done these and said these things in the name
of Christ. Amen.