Well, we're going to stay right
there in Ephesians chapter 5, beginning at verse 22. We're
going to talk about marriage. Marriage that reflects Christ. That's what this is about. Actually,
the full title will be Marriage that Reflects Christ and His
Church. But I thought that would be a
little too long for you to put on a CD or whatever we do now. Marriage
that reflects Christ. You know, the problem with preaching
messages like this in our day is that the world has a very,
very different view of these things than what the Word of
God does. What I'm going to say to you, and just even reading
what Jim read, if I did nothing but just read what was said here,
you know, it's pretty clear. But the world sees it as outdated,
old-fashioned. They see it as being male chauvinistic,
suppressive of women, that kind of thing. And to be honest with
you, in a lot of our history, things
like this have been abused to kind of give a wrong view. of what a husband is and what
a wife is and what they should be. There's no sense in which
this preaches the inequality of women as persons because that's
not what this is about. This doesn't say that women do
not have equal rights. It doesn't say that if a woman
does the same job as a man, she shouldn't receive equal pay,
things like that. but it does have a proper order
of things for the furtherance and the health of an institution
that God set in order back in the garden between Adam and Eve
called marriage and for the family. And the key to it all is found
in verse 32 when he says, this is a great mystery. Now that's
something God has to reveal. Something we don't know by nature.
And one of the problems, if we don't see it this way, it's because
we're all so selfish. Now we're that way, and don't
deny it. Women, you too. Men, we're all
selfish. We want our way. I do, I want
my way. I wish y'all thought exactly
the way I thought. In every way. I don't want any
disagreements. But I've lived long enough to
know that's just not the way it is, all right? But this is
a great mystery that has to be revealed to us by God. And he
says, I speak concerning Christ and the church. Now that ought
to perk our ears up about this thing of marriage, the relationship
of men and women. But what is said here in these
verses of marriage is said in the light of the knowledge of
the relationship that Christ has with his church. Christ is
called the bridegroom, the church is called the bride. Christ is
called the husband, and the church is called the wife. And we see
that, I read that in Isaiah 61 10, when he talked about, I will
greatly rejoice in the Lord, my soul shall be joyful in my
God, for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation. He
hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, that's his
righteousness, the merits of his obedience unto death, charged
to the account of his people, who are his bride collectively,
the church collectively, we have his righteousness imputed to
us. That means charged to us. That means accounted to us. That's
a righteousness that he worked out on the cross to save his
bride. to save his wife, to pay her
dowry, to pay her debt. As her sins were charged to him,
accounted to him, imputed to him, he died for those sins. And he put them away and he brought
forth a righteousness by which she could be accepted with God
and be justified, forgiven of all her sins. and made righteous
in the sight of God. And so as a bridegroom decketh
himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with
jewels. So this is not a new concept. It's not a New Testament concept. It goes all the way back to Genesis.
Christ the husband, the church his wife. I love this passage
in 1 Corinthians 11. I'll just read this to you. But
Paul was concerned with the people of God being diverted by false
religion and false preachers off of the simplicity that is
in Christ. Now that word simplicity, this
is in 1 Corinthians 11 verse one. That simplicity is not just
simpleness in the sense of being simple tons. This simplicity
is a singularity. And it's a single focus on the
glory of the person and finished work of Christ for our whole
salvation. And that's what I try to preach.
Each time I stand behind this pulpit, I want you to look to
Christ alone, singly. I don't want you to look here
and there and me and all that. Look to Christ, looking unto
Jesus, the author and the finisher of our faith. And that's what
salvation is, that's what Christianity, true Christianity is. It's not
looking to the preacher, it's not looking to the Pope, it's
not looking to the priest, it's looking to Christ, our great
high priest. I look to him for forgiveness
by his blood. I don't look to myself and what
I do or don't do. I look to him for justification,
to be righteous in God's sight. I don't look to myself, I don't
look to you. He is the Lord my righteousness. And so that's
the singularity, that's the simple message, the simplicity. And
so Paul was concerned about these in Corinthians, the Corinthian
church, because false preachers were trying to divert them from
looking to Christ to looking at others, looking within. And
here's what he says, listen to how he puts it in verse one of
1 Corinthians 11. He says, would to God you bear
with me a little in my folly, and indeed bear with me, and
he's talking about defending himself. But verse two is where
I really want you to look at. For I am jealous over you with
godly jealousy, for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may
present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. I've espoused you
to one husband. Now what does that mean? That
means preaching the gospel. When I tell you, when any preacher
or any witness tells you that your whole salvation is wrapped
up in Christ and you're to look to him, you're to believe in
him, you're to rest in him, you're to love him and follow him, that's
what that means. If the Holy Spirit comes and
does a work of grace in your heart and in your mind, you're
being espoused, engaged, married ultimately to one husband. And
he's the one and only Savior. There's one God and one mediator
between God and men, the man Christ Jesus. There's none other
name under heaven given among men whereby we must be, Christ
alone. That's it. And the church, you
think about this, think about how we can compare these things.
The church, in its relationship to Christ as the bride, as the
wife, and a woman who's married to a man. The church and that
woman were formed out of the husband. In the Old Testament
now, when Eve was created by God, she was created out of Adam. Adam was created first, and then
she was created to be a helpmate. God took the rib of Adam and
out of the rib formed Eve, his wife. And Paul in other places
will use this as a reason for submission. Now that word glares
out at you, doesn't it? Wives submit. There's two words
that glare out for husbands. They say, look at that, verse
one, submit. It's like that's the only word
in the whole daggone passage, but it's not. And then the wives,
you look at that word love, that comes out. and it glares out
too. And these words should glare
out, but we need to understand them in context. But Paul in
other places, he uses this as a teaching the submissive role
of wives in the marriage. She has her existence out of
Adam, just like Christ. The church has its existence
out of Christ. The church is the wife of Christ,
the bride of Christ, and it's the product of the work of the
Lord Jesus Christ. He formed the church. God chose
them, Christ died for them, and just as Adam was by God put in
a deep sleep and out of that, which is a picture of death,
and out of that he was created, so the Lord Jesus Christ on Calvary's
cross, he was put in a deep sleep called death. He died for sinners
and that out of his death would come his church. So both the
wife and the church have been formed out of their husbands.
The scripture goes on to say the church has been made by God
the wife of Jesus Christ. And Paul, the apostle here, by
inspiration of the Spirit, he applies the grace of submission
to the marriage relationship. Wives are to submit to their
husbands, and look at it, verse 22. Now listen to this, this
is important. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your husbands as unto the Lord. Now that has as much bearing
on the role of the wife in a marriage as it does the role of the husband.
Because it teaches you this. Verse 23, for the husband is
the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church
and he is the savior of the body. So submit to your husband as
unto the Lord. Now what does that tell you about
the husband's role? He must be leading you as the Lord leads
his church. And if he's not, there's problems.
That's what happens. Leading his wife, leading his
family as unto the Lord. So marriage between one man and
one woman is to reflect the marriage of Christ and his church. And
that's key. Listen, modern day ideas of marriage
is so messed up. I mean, you've got men wanting
to marry men. Women wanting to marry women,
we watch that Wheel of Fortune all the time. And Pat Sajak,
he'll ask the contender, he said, you have anybody with you? And
the man said, I got my husband with me. And I think, good night. The woman says, I got my wife.
That is so ungodly. It is so sinful. Now we're all
sinners, don't get me wrong. We all need salvation by grace. I mean, if you're saved, you're
saved by grace through the righteousness of another. But that just so
destroys the institution of marriage that God gave to Adam and Eve
as a holy institution and what it's all about. And so the Lord
has appointed all of this to reflect Christ and the marriage
between a man and a woman. So he wrote here, look at it
again, verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands
as unto the Lord. That doesn't mean that the wife,
the woman, is not an equal partner or a person. It doesn't destroy
her role. It's like any organization, any
group. When you have people brought
together, you're gonna have disagreements, am I right? Well, somebody's
gotta make the final decision if you're gonna get anything
done. And here, it's appointed that the husband would do that,
and the wife is to submit. And it says, wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands, your own husbands, not another's husband,
but your own husband, as unto the Lord. It's one man, one woman. Well, I always say it this way.
One man, one woman, leaving and cleaving. Leaving mother and
father, your mother and father shouldn't be running your marriage.
And cleaving to each other. And you become, as he says here,
one flesh. And so he says, and this submission
is as unto the Lord. The husband's the head of the
home. That's what he's saying. He's appointed the husband to
reflect Christ as the head of the family, even as Christ is
the head of the church and he's the savior of the body. So as
Christ joined himself to his church in covenant, the covenant
of grace, the husband joins himself to his wife in the covenant of
marriage, taking their vows before God and his people, and when
a man and a woman are married, they become as one flesh. Not
different, not separate. And regarding Christ and his
church, we're all, listen, every true believer, we're all members
of the body of Christ. And that by the grace of God,
through the righteousness that Christ accomplished on Calvary.
Isn't that right? And in neither situation is Paul
meaning that one physical body, just a husband is now joined
to his wife, we're also joined to Christ, but we're all one.
That's my point. Just as a husband and wife are
one. Christ is the surety of his church. That means he's responsible.
And that's what a husband is for his wife, a surety. Just like Christ, think about
this. Back in the old days, they had to pay a dowry. And that
means they had to pay a dowry to the parents. Well, Christ
paid our dowry. Christ, as the bridegroom, paid
the dowry of his bride. And what was that dowry? It was
justice satisfied for our sins under the law of God. He was
made responsible. The main responsibility was put
upon him. Well, it's the same way with a husband and wife.
He's to pay her dowry, in essence. It may not be a particular thing,
but he's responsible to take care of her. And Christ sacrificed
himself for the church. Look on here. He says, verse
23, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is
the head of the church, and he's the savior of the body. Now,
how did he save the body? He gave his life. for the body. That's what he did. As the debt
of the body was placed upon his shoulders, he came and he died
to save that body, his church. And then as Christ supplies all
the needs of the body, the husband is to supply all the needs. Now
notice I said needs. You hear that? Not all the wants. but he's to supply all the needs
of his wife. But now go on, and like I said,
this is not an inequality of persons. Both man and woman are
equally persons. You know, just like Christ. Christ
became submissive to the Father for a purpose. And that was to
save his people from their sins. But he was not unequal with the
Father in every attribute of deity. He's equally God with
the Father and the Spirit. But he took a lower office, a
submissive office, in order to accomplish the salvation of his
people. And so the wife is equal with
the husband, but she takes a lower submissive office for the furtherance
of the family, of the marriage. Now we say equal, you know, we're
talking about equal rights, equal persons. You know, the Bible
says that in Christ there's neither male nor female. Does that mean
that we're to not recognize the difference between the genders
and men can call themselves women now, women can call themselves
men? No, that's sinful. Does that mean that, but there's
an equality there in the body of Christ. It didn't take any
more grace to save me than it did you. We're all equal. Equally saved, equally graced,
equally righteous, because our righteousness is the righteousness
of another. Does that mean they're equal
in everything? No. Sometimes the husband might be
smarter than the wife, sometimes the wife might be smarter than
the husband. That's right. What does that tell you? That's
husband, if you're gonna lead well, you better listen to her.
Maybe you don't do that always. But somebody's gonna have to
make the final decision. You know, today, they want to lie
to themselves when they talk about men and women being equal.
Look over at 1 Peter with me. 1 Peter chapter, let me see if
I can find that, where I wrote it down. I think it's 1 Peter
chapter 3. Yeah, go to 1 Peter chapter 3. I want you to listen to this.
Peter says the same thing here. First Peter three and verse one,
likewise you wives be in subjection to your own husbands, that if
any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by
the conversation of the wives. Talking about a husband leading
in the word of God. While they behold your chaste
conversation coupled with fear. Now it's talking, what Peter's
talking about essentially here is when you have one spouse is
a believer and the other is not. that the husband ought to be
leading in the word of God or if the wife is the one who is
a believer and the husband's not, she ought to be following
that. It may be, we don't know for
sure, it may be that the Lord would bring the unbeliever to
be a believer, give him the gift of faith. But look at verse three,
who's adorning, let it not be the outward adorning of plaiting
the hair and of wearing of gold and putting on of apparel. In
other words, just like in worship, you ladies when you dress, you
men when you dress, you ought to dress modestly. Because you're
not trying to draw attention to yourself. What are we here
for? We're here to draw attention to Christ. That's what I want
your minds on. That's what I want my mind on.
And so he says, but let it be the hidden man of the heart,
in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and
quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God great price. For
after this manner, in the old time, the holy women also, who
trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their
own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose
daughters you are, that is, believing. That's what it's talking about.
As long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement,
likewise you husbands, dwell with them according to the knowledge,
giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel. Now some
people, they want to knock that weaker vessel, knock that out.
And that's why you have, a lot of times you'll see girls wanting
to be on the boys' football team and things like that. It just
doesn't work. Now there are women who are stronger
than me. I go to the gym, and I see there's women who want,
they can lift a lot more, but I'm a 70-year-old man with arthritis. So if you can lift more than
me, you don't have anything to brag about on me, okay? But generally
speaking, men are stronger than women, generally speaking. He says, and being heirs together
of the grace of life, that your prayers not be hindered. In other
words, that these things may not enter your mind and hinder
your fellowship, hinder your worship, hinder your praying.
All of these things. So now go back. Now what you're
gonna see here, I'm just gonna read through and make a comment
on some of these verses before I quit. But what you're gonna
see now, men, the greater responsibility to this marriage relationship
is on us. It really is. Because he says, look at verse
25 again. Husband, love your wives as Christ
also loved the church and gave himself for it. Think about that.
What kind of love is he talking about here? Love that compares
with the love of Christ for his church? You know, that love is
unconditional love. So no husband has a right to
look at people and say, well, my wife doesn't deserve my love.
Because I want to tell you something, the body of Christ, his wife,
we have never deserved his love. Even at our best, we don't deserve
his love. We've never earned his love. Herein is love, not that we loved
him, but that he loved us and gave his son to be the propitiation
for our sins. the sin-bearing sacrifice who
brought satisfaction. Even when we were enemies, Christ
died for the ungodly. Think about that. So this love
is an unconditional love. Now I admit freely that I fall
short of this, and you do too, but that's what we're to strive
for. That's the goal. What kind of love? It's a life-giving
love. Christ gave his life to put away
our sins. He didn't give his life because
we deserve that. You know, Paul dealt with that
in Romans 5. He said, for scarce for a righteous man, some would
dare to die. But Christ died for the ungodly. Think about that. That's grace. He's the savior of the body.
Verse 24, therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let
wise be to their own husbands in everything. Now, everything
has to be qualified with the other scriptures. Everything
that is godly, everything that is lovely, everything that is
good. That doesn't mean that the husband
has a right to be a tyrant, to be a slave driver, to not consider
what she thinks and her opinions, her ideas. Now when it comes
down to making the final decision though, somebody's gotta make
it. And that's where submission comes in. And you know there's
nothing more opposite to submission than self-love. So look at verse
25, husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the
church and gave himself forth that he might sanctify and cleanse
it. That's what Christ did for his
church. He sanctified us, he set us apart from the world.
And that's what a husband is to do, he's to set her apart.
He's not to look at her like he looks at other women or other
women like he looks at her. It's to be set apart. She's special. That's what Christ
did for his church. And again, it wasn't because
we deserved it or earned it. I keep saying that, but I think
that needs to be drilled into our heads. So he sanctified,
and then he cleansed it with the washing of water by the word. That's our regeneration and conversion. The new birth comes out of what
Christ accomplished in his obedience unto death for our sins. He's given us life. He's given
us faith. He's given us repentance. The
Word of God, that's the key here. I told a lady one time who was
asking me about marriage counseling, and she asked me if I, and she
wasn't a member of the church, and I didn't even know her, but
she'd seen me on TV, and she said, do you do any marriage
counseling? And I said, well, probably not like what you're
thinking of marriage counseling. I'm no psychologist, but I told
her, and she asked me, she said, well, what do you mean? I said,
well, if any couple comes to me, I usually tell them what
the word of God says, and usually that's the last thing that people
want to hear. They don't want to hear that. They want validation. But he says washing of water
by the word. It's the word of God that communicates
grace to us, shows us who Christ is. and who we are and how God
saves sinners. In verse 27, that he might present
it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
See how Christ protects the church. See what goal he's bringing us
to. Now we are right now perfectly righteous in Christ, based upon
his righteousness imputed. But we're not perfectly righteous
within ourselves, are we? We're sinners saved by grace.
But he's gonna bring us to that point where he's gonna present
us to the Father without blemish, without spot. Now, how does that
apply to a husband and wife? Well, husbands, we're to protect
our wives. We're to protect their reputations.
We're to protect them in our speaking of them, dealing with
them, to present them as someone special to us. To love them,
you see what I'm saying? Don't put them down in that sense.
And so he says in verse 28, so ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. That means as ourselves. He that
loveth his wife loveth himself. The law says love your neighbor
as yourself. People put a lot of emphasis
on self-love today to the point of going beyond the word of God.
They say, it doesn't matter if anybody else loves you, just
love yourself. Well, if nobody else loves you,
it's because you're unloving. Now, again, I know we don't deserve
God's love. None of us do. But in this marriage
relationship, the husband is to think of his wife as he thinks
of himself. in that loving relationship.
Verse 20, for no man yet ever hated his own flesh, but nourisheth
and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. And that's the marriage relationship.
Verse 30, he says, for we are members of his body, of his flesh,
and of his bones. What that's talking about is
this, the church, the bride, the wife of Christ, and Christ
are one. Now how are we one? Well, we're
not equal in office. He's the Lord, we're the servants. He's the master, we're the servants.
He's the savior, we're the saved. He's the king, we're the subjects.
But we're one in the eyes of God's law and justice. His blood
has washed away my sins. He has given me a robe of righteousness
that He worked out, but it's His given to me. And we're one
in the eyes of God's law and justice. Verse 31, for this cause
shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined
unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. They're one, that's
the marriage. One flesh, husband and wife. Different offices, different
responsibilities, but one person in God's eyes. And this is a
great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Think
about that. Whenever I do a wedding, incidentally,
I don't have to do weddings. You all know that, don't you?
I don't have to do that. There's nothing in the Word of
God that says a preacher has to perform a wedding. Or I don't
even have to do a funeral, but I do them. And I enjoy, especially
when two believers come together, but when a husband and when a
man and woman want to get married in the sight of God, I enjoy
doing that for the most part. Now, sometimes I don't. There's
some weddings I just soon forget. But on the whole, I enjoy doing
that. But my point is this. When I do a wedding, I always
try to impress upon the couple is that your marriage is to be
a reflection of Christ and his church. And if you keep that
in mind, I think that would solve a lot of problems. I think that
would save a lot of money too. That's what it's to be. So look
at verse 33. Nevertheless, let every one of
you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the
wife see that she reverence her husband. That is, give honor
and submission and love, bring it all together, and you've got
a marriage that reflects Christ and his church. Now, is that
gonna solve all our problems? No, it won't. But it'll help. Gives us something to think about
and to strive for. And I think it's the key ingredient. I know it is, it's the key ingredient
to any happy marriage. He said, it's a great mystery,
but I speak concerning Christ and his church. Okay, let's get
our hymnals and turn to hymn number 126, sing Rock of Ages.