As I said this morning, I have
two goals in bringing this message. First, I want to preach the gospel.
And whatever subject we're dealing with from the scriptures, we
must preach the gospel. And secondly, I want us to see
what the Bible has to say about marriage to help us. You know,
there are a lot of unhappy marriages. There's a lot of And I pray that
the Lord will use this in a helpful way to us. The writer to the
Hebrews says, marriage is honorable in all, precious, of great value, to
be respected, to be revered, held in high esteem. That's what God says. about marriage. Marriage is honorable in all. You know what God said regarding
divorce? He said in Malachi 2.16, I hate it. I hate it. But God himself calls marriage
an honorable thing. He is the one who instituted
marriage. Now what is marriage? Well, it's the commitment of
a man and woman to one another until death alone shall part
them. It is to take each other, the
man and woman, and promise them to love and to cherish, to honor
and sustain one another in sickness as in health, in poverty as in
wealth, in the bad that may darken your days, and in the good that
may light your ways, to cleave to one another, to prefer one
another to all others, and to be true to one another, until
death alone shall part you." I took that out of my marriage
ceremony. I so admire people who stay married,
and I know you do too. It's an honorable thing. And
the bed is undefiled. The act of intimacy between a
man and woman in marriage is undefiled. What a word to describe
that. But look what is reserved for
the ones who break this covenant. He said, whoremongers and adulterers,
God will judge. Now that is strong, strong language. Now why is marriage honorable? God calls it honorable. Why is
it honorable? Primarily because marriage reflects
the relationship between Christ and His church. That's why it's
honorable. The gospel, the gospel message
is in marriage according to the scriptures. Now let me show you
this in the Bible. Turn with me to Ephesians chapter 5. In preaching on marriage, I'm
going to preach the gospel to you with the Lord's help, with
the Lord's mercy. In preaching on marriage, I'm
going to preach the gospel to you. Now, when he ends up what
he says in Ephesians chapter 5, verses 31 and 32, he says,
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall
be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh.
Now, this is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ
and the church. Now that's what marriage is all
about. It's about Christ and the church. Notice Paul calls it a great
mystery. Now look up to verse 25 of this same chapter. Now
here's the gospel. Husbands, love your wives Even
as Christ also loved the church. Who did he love? The church. Is the church everybody? No. The church is his elect, his
bride, his chosen. That's who he loved. The church. If Lynn said, do
you love me? And I said, yeah, I love you
like I love every other woman. We'd have some problems, wouldn't
we? Christ loved the church. And what did he do in verse 25? He gave himself for it. He gave all for it, for this
purpose, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing
of water by the word that he might present it to himself a
glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that it should be holy and without blemish. Now, here's
what the Lord did on the cross for the church. He gave himself. He died for his church. The sins of his church became
his. He died for his church. And you
know what he accomplished by that death? Here's what he did
for his church. He made his church without blemish
and without spot. Holy and perfect in his sight. Now, I want you to think about
that. You know, people talk about unconditional love. Ain't no
such thing. God doesn't love me unconditionally.
Here's what takes place. Christ pays for my sins. And
this is what happened on the cross. He paid for my sins. He
wiped away my sins. And he made it to where I am
without spot. blemish, wrinkle, or any such
thing. He makes me a beautiful bride. And He loves me because I'm lovely. This is what the Lord does. Now,
get a hold of this. This is what Christ accomplished
on the cross. When He died on Calvary 3, He put away the sins
of His people so that now they are lovely. You know, every believer
knows something about a good marriage because we have such
a good husband. the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the husband of
husbands, isn't He? And what a husband He is. And
what He accomplished on Calvary's tree is He made us, as verse
27 says, to present it to Himself a glorious church, not having
spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and
without blemish. Now, this is what Christ accomplished
on Calvary's tree. He made every member of His church
holy. and without blemish, so that
every believer is beautiful to the Lord. Now, I've said this
before. Here's the way we think generally.
We think that the Lord endures us. He endures us. No, it's much better than that.
We're holy, unblameable, and unreprovable in His sight by
what Christ did for us. Is that the gospel? That's the
gospel, isn't it? What we see in marriage is we
see the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Marriage is honorable
because it reflects and it mirrors Christ's love for his elect,
his church, his bride. And marriage does much good for
us. First, the gospel is there, but the family unit is ordained
of God and marriage is for man's happiness. Now, here's the problem. When you get two sinners together,
That creates some dynamics, doesn't it? It creates some problems. But it's good to review what
the Bible has to say regarding marriage. You know, there are
very few happy marriages, and I think that's one of the saddest
things to think about. Very few happy marriages. I think there are many, and I
admire this, people, because they believe in the sanctity
of marriage, they stick it out, they won't leave each other,
they stick it out, and that's commendable. But believers ought
to have happy marriages. Now turn to Genesis chapter 2.
Genesis chapter 2. Verse 18. We're going to look
at what God says regarding marriage. And the Lord God said, Genesis
chapter two, verse 18, and the Lord God said, it is not good
that the man should be alone. I will make him and help. Meet
for him. Suitable for him now, I want
you to think about this. God said regarding Adam, I'm
going to make a help. suitable for him. Now, what does
help presuppose? A need for help. A need for help. I need help. It's not good for
a man to dwell alone. Now, God said that. It's not
good for a man to dwell alone. Man needs help, and so does woman. Men and women in this relationship
of marriage are to help one another because that presupposes some
needs that they have that will not be fulfilled without this
relationship of marriage. We have a need to be loved. We have a need to love. We have a need To be loved by
somebody and to love that person back and be significant in their
life. That is a need. Somebody says,
well, I don't feel that need. Well, I do. I do. And I think
most people do. It's not good. The scripture
says it's not good for man to dwell alone. Husbands and wives
have needs. A husband and a wife look to
each other to fulfill those needs. And when those needs are not
being fulfilled, they become unhappily married. I want to be happily married,
don't you? I don't want to be unhappily married. I want to
be happily married. And so it's up to Lynn for me
to be happily married. We have the need of affection. We have the need of intimacy. We have the need of companionship. We have the need of friendship.
We have the need of support. We have the need of commitment
all the way. We have the need of our spouse
admiring us and respecting us and esteeming us. We need the
security of being loved. Boy, I can't tell you what, I'm
so thankful. I've got a spouse that I know
is going to be faithful to me. I know she could fall just like
I could, apart from the grace of God. I realize that, but I
have the security of knowing that this woman is going to be
faithful to me all the way to the end. And what a blessing
that is. A help meet for us. A help suitable for us. The health
that meets our needs. Turn to 1 Corinthians 7. Keep
your finger there in Genesis 1 and turn to 1 Corinthians 7.
This is what the Bible has to say about this thing of marriage.
First thing he talks about is a health. A health presupposes
needs. I have certain needs and if those
needs aren't met, I'm going to be distraught. 1 Corinthians
7. Verse 3. Let the husband render unto the
wife due benevolence, the goodwill that is due her, and likewise
also the wife unto the husbands." Now, here we read of due benevolence,
due goodwill. It's the goodwill that is due
to your spouse. If you fail to provide for your
wife, if you fail to protect your wife, if you're somebody
that she cannot trust, if she doesn't feel as though she really
has your affection, she will feel defrauded. She will feel
ripped off. She will feel this is not what
I signed up for. I'm not getting what I need in
this marriage. And listen, that's a very real
feeling. It's a very real thought. People
really feel that way because this need for affection, this
need for love, this need for dedication. If it's not there,
they'll feel defrauded. Wives, if you're not your husband's
lover, if He doesn't feel your admiration and your support and
your respect if you're not seeking to be pleasing to him. If we're
not seeking to be affectionate, attractive to one another, if
we're not seeking to be pleasing, well, he'll feel defrauded. He'll
feel ripped off. And that's what that passage
of scripture is actually saying. Render the due benevolence, the
goodwill that's due them, don't defraud them. Don't defraud them,
don't rip them off. Verse 4, 1 Corinthians chapter
7. The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband. Likewise, also the husband hath
not power over his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not
one the other, except it be consent, with consent, for a time that
ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together
again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. Look in
verse 12 of 1 Corinthians chapter 7. But to the rest, speak I, not
the Lord, if any brother have a wife that believeth not, and
she be, look at this word, pleased to dwell with him, let him not
put her away. Now, that pleased to dwell, that
means she finds it pleasurable to dwell with that individual.
She finds it pleasurable. She's not a believer, but she's
pleased to dwell. Don't put her away. And there's
nothing you can do about it. If she's not pleased to dwell
and she leaves you, what can you do? But if she's pleased
to dwell with you, don't put them away. Verse 13, And the
woman which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased
to dwell with her, let her not leave him. Our spouses are to
find it pleasing. pleasing to dwell with us. We are to make it our ambition
to meet the needs of our spouse and be pleasing to them. Two people with that agenda,
they're going to have a happy marriage, aren't they? If you've
got two people going in that direction, they're going to be
happily married. Now go back to Genesis chapter
2. Genesis chapter 2. And here we have another beautiful
gospel picture. Verse 19. And out of the ground,
the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of
the air and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call
them. And whatsoever Adam called every
living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names
to all cattle and to the fowl of the air and to every beast
of the field, but for Adam. There was not found and help
meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep
sleep to fall upon Adam. And he slept. And he took one
of his ribs and closed up the flesh instead thereof, and the
rib which the Lord God had taken from man made he a woman, and
he brought her unto the man." Now, I see the gospel there.
Clearly, so beautifully. That sleep Adam went through. What is that? That's the death
of the Lord Jesus Christ. And what came out of the death
of the Lord Jesus Christ? The salvation of his church.
His precious bride is brought out from that event. Oh, the
gospel is so clear there. That's where we come from. It's
beautiful. Verse 23. I love to think of
this presentation that the Lord makes to Adam after he brings
her, this woman, and he sets her before him. Verse 23, ìAnd
Adam said, ìThis is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.î
Remember, Paul quoted this and said the two shall be one flesh,
and what that act of intimacy represents is the union between
Christ and His Church. The two become one. I'm one with
the Lord Jesus Christ, so that whatever He is, I am. Is He righteous? I am, too. Is He lovely to the
Father? I am, too. Is He accepted by
the Father? I am, too, because I'm united
to Him. Whatever He is, I am. Adam said, This is now bone of
my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman, because
she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his
father and his mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall
be one flesh. And they were both naked, the
man and his woman and his wife, and they were not ashamed. They
had no shame because they did not yet have a fallen nature. They did not yet have a sinful
nature. The fall did not take place. They didn't know what
it would. They wouldn't have understood it. You try to tell
them what unclean or evil thoughts were. They had none of those.
They were naked and not ashamed. What happens after the fall?
The first thing they do, they find out they're naked and they
try to provide themselves a covering. But at this point, they were
naked and they were not ashamed. Now, there's two words that Adam
used with regard to His wife and his relationship with his
wife. He says in verse 24, there's four shall a man leave his father
and mother and shall cleave unto his wife. Here's two words that
are very important for a marriage. Leave and cleave. Leave and cleave. Leave your parents. Now, that
doesn't mean they stop being your parents and you no longer
have responsibility toward them. You're to be responsible toward
your parents in every respect. This is not talking about a lack
of responsibility. Everybody ought to seek to honor
their parents and seek to help them. And if they're in need,
help them. Respect them. This is not talking about, well,
my relationship with my parents is over. No, it's not. You still
have that relationship. But what this is talking about,
though, is that relationship just takes the backseat to this
relationship. This is what is most important.
You leave everything else in order to cleave to and to be
joined to and to be glued to and be united to your wife. And the things you leave in order
to cleave to her and be joined. You know, this thing of leading
and pleading. I was thinking about this, y'all. Len's my wife. We're walking together through
this life. And I know this. If she loves Christ better than
she loves me. And if I love Christ better than
I love her. You know what? We're going to
be in agreement. We're going to be in agreement.
You know what? I want her to love Christ a whole lot more
than she loves me. That's what I want. And I want
to love Christ more than her. Christ is my husband. Christ
is my Lord. Christ is my Master. Christ is
my Savior. And if we both have that down,
we're going to be walking in agreement, aren't we? Agreement
with one another. For Christ's sake, we're to have
a marriage that reflects the gospel. Now let's go back to
Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians chapter 5. It always
tickles me when I look at this passage of scripture because
this is a... I used to love to get out the
guns with verse 22. Why submit yourselves unto your
own husbands as unto the Lord? Submit! I was telling somebody, I think
it might have been Rick, I don't remember, I can remember telling
Lynn as a young person to submit to me. And I remember the utter
look of contempt she would give me. I mean, you know, that doesn't
work. It doesn't work. The only way
you can submit is because that's what you want to do. It's what
you want to do. You want to submit for Christ.
Nobody can make you do it. Your husband sure can't make
you do it. The only way you can truly submit to him is because
that's what you want to do for Christ's sake. Now look what
it says in verse 22. Wives, submit yourselves unto
your own husbands as unto the Lord. Now what that says is Note what
it says. Turn to, hold your finger there
and turn on 1 Peter chapter 3. I want us to see how important
this is in our daily life. Verse 1 of 1 Peter chapter 3,
Likewise you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands That if
any obey not the word, they may also without the word be won
by the conversation of the wise, while they behold your chaste
conversation, coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be
the outward adorning of plaiting the hair and wearing of gold
and putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the
heart." And here, while he's giving this instruction with
regard to The wife and her relationship to her husband were given some
real glorious information regarding regeneration. Look what he says. Let it be the hidden man of the
heart in that which is not corruptible. That's talking about the new
nature. It is not corruptible. Even the ornament. Here's how
I've seen of a meek and a quiet spirit, which is in the sight
of God of great price. For after this manner in the
old time, the holy women also, who trusted God, adorning themselves,
being subjection to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed
Abraham, calling him Lord. Now, Sarah was no milk toast. I mean, you read about her relationship
with Abraham. I remember when she told Abraham
to go into Hagar, and he did it, and she got mad at him for
doing it. She said, this is your fault. You should have never
done this. With Sarah, you told him to do it. You still should
have never done it. I mean, she was upset. Remember
how she dealt with Hagar and Ishmael? She was a very strong
woman. But yet, look what it says. Even
as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you
are, as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement,
likewise you husbands. Dwell with them according to
knowledge, according to love, Giving honor unto the wife, as
unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of
life. And look at this next phrase.
Let your prayers be not hindered. Now, I say to husbands, I say
to wives, I'm saying to myself. If we don't treat our spouse
as the Lord requires, our prayers are hindered. That's what it
says. Our prayers are hindered. Now back to Ephesians chapter
5. I don't want my prayers to be
hindered, do you? Verse 23. For the husband is
the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. And he's the Savior of the body.
Here we have the gospel again. Christ is the head. We're the
body. He's the head. I probably shouldn't have done
this, but I remember one time there was some young people that
were talking to me about getting married and they wanted me to
marry them. And they were back there in my study. And she said,
well, I will not say to my husband, I'm going to obey you. She says,
I'm not a dog. That's what dogs do. You tell
dogs to obey. I'm not going to do that. So I said, now understand,
what if the church said to Christ, I'm not going to obey you. Here's
why it's important. Christ is the head. We obey our
Lord. What if we said, I'm not going
to obey the Lord? It'd be wrong, wouldn't it? That's why we're going to, after
she heard that, she said, well, I'm still not going to say it.
And I looked at her and I said, if I were you, I would marry her. Now, I never saw him
again after that either, you know, and maybe I shouldn't have
done that, but that was my response at the time. You know, I just
thought, good grief. I'm explaining, this is about the gospel. For the husband is the head of
the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he's
the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto
Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Now, verse 25. Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the Church. Now, I want you to think about
that command. Husbands, you love your wives as Christ loved the
Church. I'll tell you what, if a man
loves his wife the way Christ loves the Church, his wife's
not going to have any hard time submitting him. She's going to
find it a joy. She's going to find it a privilege.
If you love your wife like that. Now, which is the harder command?
Which is the harder command? I believe the harder command
is the command of the man. Love your wives as Christ loved the
church and he gave himself. He gave everything for his church,
for the good of his church. He gave everything. Husbands,
love your wives as Christ also loved the church and gave himself
for it. that he might sanctify and cleanse
it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present
it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Now that's what Christ accomplished
on the cross. I love thinking about that. I'm without blemish. I don't feel that way. But it
doesn't make any difference whether I feel that way or I don't feel
that way. I am that way. If Christ died for me, I'm holy
and I'm without blemish. I stand perfect before God. Verse
28. So ought men to love their wives
as their own bodies. You know, we say quite often,
I hate myself. And I do. I do. I hate myself. I hate my sin. I hate myself. You know what else? I love myself.
I look out for my own best interest. I do. Somebody says, I don't
love myself. I do. I do. I want to take care
of myself. I want the best things to happen
for me. Well, you love Christ. Christ loves himself, doesn't
he? Christ loves himself. He ought to love himself. Look
how lovely he is. He's altogether lovely. He loves
himself. And you know what? He loves his
church as he loves himself. Isn't that amazing? Isn't that
glorious? That is the relationship Christ
has with his church. So ought men, verse 28, to love
their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth
himself. If Lynn's happy, I'm happy too.
If Lynn's mad, I'm in trouble. So I'm better off. Well, you
know what I'm saying. So what? If mama's happy, everybody's
happy. Y'all know that. So want men to love their wives
as their own bodies? He that loveth his wife loveth
himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but nourisheth and cherishes it. Now, that's the
responsibility of the husband to his wife, to nourish her. to cherish her. Not to be bitter against her,
as we read in Colossians, the husbands be not bitter against
your wives, but love them, no. Cherish and nourish your wife
even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
the two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but
I speak concerning Christ and the church." Now, isn't marriage
a beautiful picture of the gospel, of what Christ does for his bride? Now, I want to do the same thing
for my bride. I want her to not feel defrauded
and ripped off because I treated her poorly. I want her to dwell
with me in goodwill. And I want her to do the same
for me. Now we would all say, and we
all say we believe marriage is honorable in all, may we also
do this. Don't simply endure a bad marriage
because you believe in the sanctity of marriage. Don't do that. Now there's something to be said
for that. I admire people who stay together for Christ's sake.
I really do. I admire people who stay together
for Christ's sake. But don't simply go through a
bad marriage because you believe in the sanctity of marriage.
Ask the Lord to bless your marriage for his glory and you begin by
rendering to your spouse due benevolence. That's your job in this life.
It's to render to your spouse due benevolence, the goodwill
that is due toward them. Don't cause them to feel defrauded,
but fulfilled. Be a helpmate suitable to them. And I hope they'll do the same.
And you know, it's possible they won't. It's possible they won't. It's possible that you do everything
that you should do, and they won't do anything that they should
do. That's possible. Generally speaking, if you do your part,
they'll do part. And let me say this about marriage, too. Marriage
problems, 50-50. 50-50. Actually, a better way to put
it is 100-100. 100% your fault, 100% their fault. I mean, that's the fact of the
matter. That's the fact of the matter.
It's always that way, 50-50. Except mine, you know. But the point I'm trying to make,
you know, even if they don't do their part, there's a blessed,
there's a blessedness in doing the right thing. There's a blessedness
in that. But I know this. I know that
if I render to her due benevolence, she'll render to me due benevolence.
That's just the way it works. If you're going to have a relationship
with anybody, remember this too, and just think about marriage.
There's going to be a whole lot of forgiving going on. Isn't
there? A whole lot of forgiving. True forgiveness. And where that
spirit of forgiveness is not there, there won't be a marriage
either. Now, may we make it our aim to
have Christ glorified in our marriages. Don't you want the
Lord Jesus Christ to be honored and glorified and exalted in
your marriage? And here's my last thought. And
here's the best thought. What a husband we have in Christ.
We have a glorious husband. We know something about a good
marriage because of what a husband the Lord Jesus is to us. What
a provider. What a protector. What security. Look what he says in Hebrew.
Go back to Hebrews chapter 13. This is what we'll be considering
next week. I've just been looking forward to to deal with this. This hit me like it's never hit
me before when I was thinking about this week. He said in verse
5, the very next verse, let your conversation be without covetousness
and be content with such things as you have, for he hath said, I will never leave you. And I will never forsake you. And I know that is a doctrine. But sometimes I hear the Lord
say that to me. I'll never leave you. And I'll
never forsake you. What security we have from our
great and glorious husband. Isn't it wonderful to be part
of the bride? his bride that he gave himself
for. Let's pray.