Why I Preached My Son's Funeral

In 1966, my oldest son graduated from
high school. He was an outstanding football
player, was captain of the football team in Ashland. He played on the basketball team.
He played with the, or rather ran on the high school track
team for three years. He was an officer in the road
club, the rotary club in high school, served on the annual
staff and also the staff of the school paper. He was on the student
council for two years. He was a very popular young man,
a very outstanding young man in every way. We were so deeply
proud of him. He was a child of God, a believer
in Christ. I've often said that if I could
have made a son, that God would let me design a boy and make
him just exactly as I would want to make him, just exactly. And I would have made this boy
just like he was. He and I were very close, very,
very close. And in January of this year,
he went into the Army. He was then 21 years of age. And while he was in Fort Jackson,
South Carolina, there were a thousand men in his brigade, and he was
selected as the outstanding soldier of the entire brigade. He received
the American Spirit of Honor Medal, which is awarded in every
training cycle to the best soldier. We were quite proud of that.
And then he was selected for advanced infantry training, for
which he was glad. He liked that type of thing. He qualified expert with a machine
gun, with an M60, with an M16. Missed his hand grenades by only
two points. And he was sent to Fort McClellan,
Alabama, where he was in a company of 250 soldiers. And at the end
of the training cycle for advanced infantry, he was selected. We attended his graduation down
at Fort McClellan, and he was selected as the outstanding soldier
of that training cycle. He received a large trophy, and
we brought him home with us from Fort McClellan. He received a
two-week leave before going to Vietnam. He received his orders
to go to Vietnam when he graduated from infantry training. He came
home for two weeks, and then June the 6th of this year, we
put him on the plane for Vietnam. My wife and I drove him to Louisville,
where he boarded the plane for Vietnam. While we deeply that God would let him
come back. Both of us were submissive to
the will of God. We left on a brief vacation trip
the latter part of June. I preached in my church on June
the 22nd, and we went to Florida. And we were down in Florida for
about three days when the Army sent a representative to tell
us that he had been killed. He was only in Vietnam for about,
oh, ten days when he was killed. And driving back from Florida,
my wife and I were talking about the memorial service and what
we would do. Well, I've never experienced
anything like this. We talk about the trials that
we have in the Christian life, the Christian experience, but
I've never had one quite like this before. And I didn't know
how I would react. While we were driving back, she
said, what about the memorial service? And I just spoke quickly
back. I said, of course, I'll conduct
it. And she said, can you do it? Well, I said, I believe that
I can. And we came back to Ashland,
and I talked to the funeral director. And I told him, he asked me about
the service. And I said, he said, who's going
to conduct this service? I said, I am. He said, I don't
think you can do it, Henry. We've been playing Bill Steen
and I for over 20 years. He said, I don't think you can
do it. I said, Bill, I believe I can do it. I've got to try. And so the day came for the funeral,
and it was the largest funeral that the city of Ashland has
ever experienced, to my knowledge. The church was packed, of course.
People were turned away. They were sitting in the nursery,
in the hallways, and all over the building. And it was one
of the greatest services that I've ever been in. Some of the
remarks made concerning the service, one minister, some of you may
know him, Brother W.K. Wood, was there, and he told
me after the service that it was the greatest funeral service
he'd ever attended in his life. He said, I'm 70 years old, and
I've been holding funerals all my life, all 50 years as a minister. But he said, this service brought
more glory to God than any I've ever been in. The president of
our insurance company in Owensboro, one with which I've been associated,
and you're prostitute, but Fred Simmons here, attended the service,
and he wrote to me, and he said that this service was a blessing
to me. He said it seems to me that this
is the type of service that the early church must have had when
a believer died. So the Lord has used this, and
I've been asked, I was asked in Ashland. It was the topic
of the town for a while because I am fairly well known in Ashton,
having been there so long, having been on the radio for 19 years.
It was asked two questions all over town. Why is Brother Mahan
doing this? And how can he do it? Those were
the two questions that were asked most frequently. How is he doing
it? And why is he doing it? Well, I want to answer those
two questions tonight. I did so in Birmingham when I
was preaching there in a meeting last month, and I did so to my
own congregation because I feel like people have a right to know
why I did it, and they should know how I did it. And the first
answer I would give to how I preached my own son's funeral, and let
me say this, it was the most difficult thing that I've ever
done. My second son, who is 18 years of age, helped me in the
funeral. He brought a eulogy about his
brother. He gave the eulogy. And I told
him, I said, now son, this is going to be difficult for me
and it'll be even harder for you because I'm used to the public
platform and I'm used to times of sorrow and you've never experienced
anything like this. It may be pretty hard. He said,
Dad, he said, I want to do it. I love Robbie, and I feel that
I should do it." So he did a magnificent job, and God gave him great strength. But the first thing I would say
in answer to the question, how did I preach my own son's funeral,
is this, God's grace is sufficient. Now I don't care what your trial
is. I don't care how deeply it hurts.
I don't care how black the way may seem. I care not how thorny
the path, I care not how broken your heart. If you're a child of God, if
you know Him and love Him, His grace is sufficient. Apostle
Paul, I don't know what his thorn in the flesh was, but I do know
it was something that brought him great grief. And it burdened
him greatly. And three times he asked the
Lord to remove this thorn from his flesh. He said, Lord, take
it away. And God told him he was not going
to remove it. And he gave this reason. He said,
Paul, I'm not going to remove this thorn, lest you be exalted
above measure. And he added this. He said, but
Paul, my grace is sufficient for thee. And I found in this,
their trying time, that though God will not suffer us to be
tried above that which we can bear, and He won't. One of my
men came out of the church door. Robbie, we received word of his
death on Wednesday and we were back in Ashland, or rather on
Thursday we were back in Ashland Friday. And I was in church Sunday
morning, and one of the men walked up to me, and he said, Well,
preacher, God knows who can take it. And I said, No, it's not
so much God knows who can take it, it's God's grace is sufficient
to enable us to take it. Now, nobody here, you just can't
sit there and say that under this circumstance I couldn't
do this. You can do all the things through
Christ who's strengthened in you, if you know Him, if He's
real and personal to you, if you have a real vital relationship
with Him, you can do it. Somebody said, I wonder how I'll
act in the time of death. God will give His people dying
grace. He gives us living grace and
He gives us dying grace. So how did I preach my son's
funeral? I did it because the grace of
God enabled me to do it. In the flesh, no man could do
this. I could not bear up under it. I could not stand it. But in that particular hour,
when the trial had to be faced, God gave me the strength to do
it. And he deserves all the glory and all the praise and all the
credit because it was of God. Now the second answer I would
give to that is this. How did I preach my son's funeral?
My friends, we can expect trials. This is not my last trial, Jim.
This has been my toughest one. But I know it's not my last one.
Turn with me to 2 Corinthians chapter 5. Now, beloved, one
of the apostles said, don't count it strange and unusual and out
of the ordinary when you have these trials. Because these clouds
are sent of God, and they're sent of God on purpose. They're
sent of God to try our favor. If you build a boat in your backyard,
You've got the directions, you've got the blueprints, you've got
all the directions right there that tells you how long to make
it, how wide to make it, how high to make it, the type of
lumber to use, where to put the screws, where to put the pitch,
what kind of paint. You build that boat just according
to specifications. And that boat's sitting out there
in the yard, and you say, that's a good boat. And a doubt comes
in your mind, but will it float? Will it float? Will it stand
the heavy sea? Will it stand the wind and the
rain? Will it stand the water? You won't know until you put
that boat in the water. Not for sure. You may believe
it, you may have followed the blueprints, you may have followed
the specifications, you may have built it just according to the
right patterns. And you may have built it like
other people built their boats, and their boats floated, but
you can't be sure until you put it in water. And these trials
that God sends our way are to test and to try and to prove
our faith. Now here in 2 Corinthians 5,
I want you to watch this now. You can expect heavy trials. You can expect suffering. You
can expect sorrow. You can expect difficulty in
this life. This is a veil of tears. This
is a valley of the shadow of death. That's what this is in
which we live. Now read it, 2 Corinthians 5,
verse 1. We know that it's our earthly
house of this tabernacle. What's a tabernacle? It's a king. A tabernacle is a tent. A tabernacle
is not a stone building. When I was over in Europe, I
visited some buildings that were built 2,000 years ago, and they're
still standing. But they were built out of stone
and mortar. They were built out of steel
or iron. These buildings were built, they
were not tabernacles, they were not tents, they were buildings
with foundations. And they're still fully essential.
But this house in which we dwell, That house out there in which
you live is not a building, it's a tent. It's a tabernacle. And a tent is one of the frailest
things on this earth. I used to hold a lot of tent
meetings. Kind of hard now to get people
out to tent meetings. Everybody's used to air conditioning,
you know, and they won't much come to a tent and fight the
flies and the mosquitoes and the bugs and all and sit in a
hot tent. But they used to come years ago.
I used to hold tent meetings. And every night I'd be lying
in bed and it'd start thundering and lightning like last night.
And then it'd start raining. And Fred knows, he dealt with
tents a lot. He didn't tent me. Get up, put
your clothes on, and head for the tent. Because he knew that
that tent wouldn't stand very much water. When those ropes
got wet, when those ropes would dry up and give way, rather,
they would get limber when they got wet, and then the old tent
would begin to shake, and if the wind was strong enough, it
would pull it down. It was a frail, it was a fragile
thing. And that's what politics is about
here. It's a frail, fragile thing. And we're dwelling in a tent,
and this tent is going to be dissolved. This tent, one of
these days, is going to come down. It's not going to stand
the weather and the storm forever. It's got to give way. But now
what? We know that if I earth the house of this tent, winter's
on, and it's going to be. We have a building. We have a
permanent dwelling place. We have a building of God, a
building that has foundation. In Hebrews, I believe there's
chapter 11, Abraham looked for a city whose builder and maker
is God, that had foundation. Not like a tin. A tin has no
foundation. You don't even dig a hole to
put the center post in. You just set—no use to dig a
hole. Just set that center post right
on the ground, and this post right on the ground. That tin
has to be able to give. If that post didn't fall where
it can, you're just ripping all the pieces, so it just sits there.
And we have no foundation, we have no permanent dwelling place.
My sons and your sons and my daughters and your daughters
and my wife and your wife and my brother and my father and
your brother and your father and my friends are all going
to die. We might as well make up our
minds, we might as well face it, and that's one reason that
I preached my son's funeral, one way that I did. Not only
was God's grace sufficient, but I knew my boy couldn't live on
this earth forever. He was in a frail tent. He was
in a tent that was fractured. He was in a tent that was killed
with a storm, and if the storm was heavy enough and strong enough,
it'd come down. Now, I went out to buy a cemetery
lot. I didn't buy just one grave site.
I went out, picked out our cemetery lot when Rob's body came back
from Vietnam. You know how many I picked out?
Four. I picked out, there's one for me, there's one for my wife,
one in which we put Rob, and then I left another one. Why'd
you buy another one? Wait till your children are going
to marry, and they're going to leave, and they'll have their
own cemetery lot. Maybe they won't marry. Maybe one of them
will get killed in an automobile wreck tomorrow, or next week,
or next month. Brethren, we are not permanently
relocated here. This is a temporary house in
which we live. It's a fragile house, it's a
failed house, and it's got to go. How did I preach my son's
funeral? I did it because the grace of
God enabled me to, and secondly, because I expect these trials.
And we're not going to fall and fail under these trials. We're
going to stand by the grace of God and endure them because we
expect them. The third answer I would give
to that is this. Turn to 1 Thessalonians chapter
4. Because I held his funeral, I
was able to do it, because though my sorrow was great, My sorrow
was great. It still is. It's even worse
now than it was then. You know, I've had preachers
at funerals. I've gone to the funeral home
and the body be in the casket. And I've had preachers turn to
wives whose husbands were there in the casket, and I've heard
the preacher say, now he's not here. That's just his body. That's a true statement. But
there's not much comfort for this reason. For this reason. That's the body that they loved. That's the hands that they held.
Those are the eyes that they looked into. Those are the lips
that they kissed. That's the face that they knew.
They didn't live with a spirit, they lived with a body. You see,
the boy in that casket, when I opened it, that was my son.
There he was, there's him just like I knew him, just like he
lives with us. And that does not lessen the
sorrow. This lessens the sorrow, and this is the only thing that
will lessen the sorrow. Look at 1 Thessalonians 4, verse
13. I will not have you ignorant,
brethren, concerning them which are asleep. That you sorrow not
as those who have no hope. Paul didn't say that you sorrow
not. You can't keep people from sorrowing.
You can't keep people from weeping. You can't keep people from feeling
lonely. They're going to feel lonely.
They're going to cry. They're going to weep. They're
going to be unhappy. But we don't sorrow as people
who have no hope. Ah, watch it! If we believe that
Jesus died and rose again, even so then, whose bodies we're burying,
even then, whose bodies we're putting in the grave, those whose
bodies we're putting beneath the ground, they're going to
be raised from the grave when Christ comes again. Those that
believe in Jesus will God bring with Him when He comes. And I
could stand over my son's casket, and I could preach this email
because I knew that he wasn't going to stay in the grave, that
by God's mercy, through the death of God's Son, through faith in
Jesus Christ, that Robert was coming back to this earth again
with the Lord. When David's son died, he said
this. He said, my son can't come back
to me. We'd like for them to. I've heard
preachers say this. I've heard them say, well, you
wouldn't bring him back if you could. Don't you count on it. Don't you count on it. I'll tell
you this, if I could see him tonight, I'd sure go get him.
Now the person that says it, If they wouldn't, perhaps they
have a little more grace than I've got. I'm sure they have.
But if I could go get that boy tonight, bring him back here
with me, I'd go, I'd leave right now, right in the middle of this
sermon. But I will say this, I can't bring him back. David
said he can't come back to me. He can't. But I'll tell you this,
I can go to him. And I'll tell you something else,
and I want you to watch this closely. I saw this years ago.
You know, while my wife and I were going through this, and even
now, we'd go back and get Scripture. That's the best comfort in the
world, God's Word. And we'd go and get Scripture,
and I'd read it to her, and I'd explain it to her. And I said
this to her one day, I said, now honey, I said, Robby's still
ours, he's still our boy. That's right, he's still our
boy. You ask me how many children
I've got, I've got four. I've got one in Columbus, Ohio,
I've got two in Ashland, I've got one in Glory, but they're
all mine. He never ceased to be my son
when he died. He never ceased to be my son
when God took him to Glory, he's still my son. And I'll show you
that. Turn to Job, chapter 1. I want
you to look at this. Job, the first chapter. Here
in Job, chapter 1, verse 2. There was born unto Job, Job
1, verse 2. There was born unto Job seven
sons and three daughters. That's how many you had, right?
That's ten children. Seven sons and three daughters. Now, his
substance also was 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yokel oxen,
500 she-asses, and a very great household. Now God took all that away from
Job. All of these oxen, these camels,
these she-asses, these sheep were all killed, and all seven
of his sons and three of the three daughters. The whole family
was wiped out. Now turn to Job 42. Job chapter
42. And I want you to look at this.
Verse 10. And the Lord turned the captivity
of Job, Job 42, 10. When he prayed for his friends,
the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before. And what did
he have before? Keep that open over at Job 1.
What did he have before? Well, he had 7,000 sheep. Now
look at verse 12. So the Lord blessed Job 42, 12.
The Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than the beginning,
gave him twice what he had, 14,000 sheep. How many sheep did he
have the first time? 7,000. And then the Lord gave
him 14,000. Double. Double. How many camels did he have? 3,000. Look at Job 42, 12. The
Lord gave him 6,000. How many yokel oxen did he have?
Five hundred. How many did the Lord give him? He gave him a thousand. How many
of C.A.C. did he have? Five hundred. How
many did the Lord give him? Gave him a thousand. He doubled
everything he had. Everything he had. That's what
he said. Twice what he had before. How
many children did he have? He had ten. How many did the
Lord give him? Twenty. No second. Look at the
next verse, verse 13. Gave him seven sons and three
daughters. How come? Well, the reason he doubled,
the reason he gave him 14,000 sheep, is when those 7,000 sheep
died, they were annihilated. They were gone. He never see
them again. The reason God gave him 6,000 sheep is because that
he had 3,000 before, and those were annihilated in twice as
many. Now he had seven sons and three daughters, and they died.
But they went to glory, and they were waiting on Joseph. So when
God doubled his family, he just gave them the same number he
had before, and he doubled them. I've still got three sons. He's
still mine. That's how I could hold his funeral,
that's how I could conduct his memorial service, because of
God's grace. His grace is sufficient to save,
His grace is sufficient to heal, His grace is sufficient to carry
us through the darkest trials, and His grace is sufficient in
time of death. And then we expect these trials,
I expect more. The more these hairs turn white,
the more trials we're going to have. The more the years progress
and multiply, the more we're going to have. And then we sorenot
as those who have no hope. We have a blessed hope. Our loved
ones are just the way. Actually, I'll be honest with
you, I feel a lot closer to Him now than I did when He was in
Vietnam. I worry about him in Vietnam,
but I don't worry about him anymore. He's in good hands there. He's
with the Lord. Over there in Vietnam, he had
to face the heat. He had to face suffering. He
had to face all of these difficult things. But in glory, he's happy. He doesn't have to face any trials.
He's with the Lord Jesus Christ. And I'm just waiting for the
day when God lets us be together again. And it may not be long.
Now that's how I could conduct this field. Now you ask, well
why did you do it? What did you hope to gain by
it? Why not turn it over to another minister? Here's the reason. First of all, I did it for the
glory of God. Now I want you to turn back to
Job chapter 1. Brethren, the Bible says, let
the redeemed of the Lord say so. Let the redeemer of the Lord
speak so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy. Let
him stand up and see what the Lord has done for him. And when
I stood up over my son Bobby and preached his memorial funeral
service, I did it to praise God and to bring glory to his name.
In Job chapter 1, they came to Job and they said, Your wife's
out, Job. The sheep are dead, the camels
are dead, the oxen are dead, and the sea-ashes are dead, and
the servants are dead. And while that man was speaking,
A servant came in and said, Job, all seven of your sons and three
daughters, all dead. Now look at Job 1 verse 20. Then Job arose, and red his mouth,
and shaved his head in sorrow, in grief, and fell down upon
the ground, and worshiped God. I got up Sunday morning. My son
had been killed. We got word on Thursday. We came
home. I got up Sunday morning. And I said to my wife, I said,
this is the Lord's Day. I'm going to church. She said,
well, I am too. And my other two sons said, well,
Dad, we're going too. We're always in church on the
Lord's Day. My daughter said, I am too. And it was difficult. But as a family, we went to the
house of God and sat together and worshipped the Lord, and
praised Him just as sincerely in that hour of dark cloud as
we did in the brightest hour of our lives. Job worshipped God, and he said,
naked I came out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return
there. The Lord gave The Lord has been
pleased to take him away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Brethren, we not only praise God in time of happiness, we
praise God in time of sorrow. We not only praise God when things
are going our way, we praise God when things are not going
our way. I preached my son's funeral for the glory of God.
I wanted everybody in that city to know I believed that God was
on the throne. Somebody said, a preacher called
me from Birmingham, and he said, I want to pass on a word to you.
I said, okay, Quincy, what is it? He said, well, a man lost
his boy. I know how much your son meant
to you, and I think this will help you." He said, a man lost
his son, and his pastor came around the corner. When the pastor
walked in, the man said, preacher, where was God when my son died?
And the preacher stopped a moment, and then he said, well, my brother,
he was in the same place he was when his son died, on the throne,
on the throne. Brethren, I preach my son's funeral
for the glory of God, to praise God, to worship God, to give
him all the glory. If he let him live, praise the
Lord. If he took him away, praise the
Lord. You know old Eli, when Samuel came to Eli, Eli said,
Samuel, what's on your mind? Well, I can't tell you, but I
want you to tell me. The Lord told you something,
didn't he? Well, I'd better not say. Eli said, Samuel, whatever the
Lord told you, you tell me. Everything he told me. Well,
Eli, God told me that he was going to kill both your sons.
You know what that old man said? Well, he said, Samuel, it's the
Lord. Let him do what he will. Let him do what he will. And
the second reason why I preached this funeral was for his sake.
He was my buddy. I was his pastor. And nobody
else should have preached his funeral but me. I'm the one who
should have stood there for his sake. He was a living example
of what I preach. He was a living example of what
I believe. And no one else should have preached
his funeral but me. That's the way he would have
wanted it, for his daddy to preach his funeral. I was his pastor.
I was his friend. I knew him better than anybody.
Suppose one of you were to pass away tonight, and they called
Brother Faust tomorrow and said, Brother Maurice has passed away,
Brother Faust, and you're his pastor, and you loved him, and
he loved you, and we want you to hold his funeral. Brother
Faust said, I just can't do it. I just can't do it. It's too
much for me. But now he owes it to the glory of God. He owes
it to his friend. He owes it to him for his sake.
Now, the third reason, I did it for the sake of the people
in that city to whom I preached. Brethren, let me tell you this.
I know many people, many of my church members, must have thought
when they got the word that my son was dead. All right now,
I preach this preaching, no accidents with God, that God's a God of
purpose, God's a God of sovereignty, that God does all things well.
Now let's see how He's going to act." And I showed them. And I did it on purpose. I wanted
to walk down that aisle with my wife and leave her there and
walk up to that pulpit and tell those people to take their songbooks
and stand with me and worship the Lord in singing my hope is
built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. God
is on the throne when my son was alive and he was on the throne
when he was dead. And I believe with all my heart
in the sovereign purpose of God in all things. Now you turn back
to the book of Job, chapter 14. I was standing down at the funeral
home, and a woman whom I'd known a long time, she used to be a
member of the church where I preached, she walked up to me and she said,
Brother Mahan, I'm awfully sorry. She said, it's just too bad that
Robbie's life was cut short. I said, hold it, hold it, Janet. Robbie's life was not cut short.
God gave him 21 years and 4 months. In James, that's how long he
lived. When he was born into this world, he had 21 years and
4 months. I'm glad I didn't know it. I'm
glad the future's in God's hand. I'm glad He doesn't let us see
our children. But God knew how many days he
had because God gave him that many days. You've got a certain
number of days too. Where do you find that preacher?
Turn to Job 14, verse 5. Talks about man being born a
woman a few days and full of trouble. Comes forth like the
flowers cut down. Watch verse 5. Seeing his days
are determined. Who determined his days? The
one who gives him his days. Seeing His days are determined,
the number of His months are with Thee. Thou hast appointed
His bounds. He cannot pass." Brethren, when
I held that little baby boy in my arms twenty-one years ago
in Chattanooga, Tennessee, eight pounds and eleven ounces, fine,
good-looking little boy, the day that I held him in my arms,
he had twenty-one years and four months to live. God gave him
that many years. God determined those months.
God determined those days. And when those days were ended,
he died. Every child of God is immortal till God says, This
is it. Now, that's so. The instrument
of death may be already in my bloodstream. I don't know. God
knows. The instrument of death may be already prepared. They
may be making the car in Detroit right now that'll crash head-on
into you and take you out of this world. It may be right now
rolling off the showroom floor at somebody's automobile, even.
It may be right now sitting over there in somebody's garage, God
knows. God determines the number of
a man's months and days and years. God sets his bounds. We worship
an almighty God or no God at all. Our lives are either in
the hands of blind faith or in the hands of a seeing God, an
all-seeing God. And I don't believe in blind
faith. And I said, Janet, my son lived a full, complete life. He lived the years God gave him.
I don't know how many years God will give me, but he knows. He
knows. God knows, and for the sake of
the people in Ashton, I stood up there and preached that to
you. And I'll tell you something else. And I said this to my church. And I mean this. Robert's death created a greater
impact on that city than you can imagine. He was so well-known
and so well-liked and so well-loved by everybody who knew him in
that city. Outstanding young man. And it
left a tremendous impact, as these friends who are here tonight
will tell you. I do not know of a boy in that whole city or
in our church that God could have taken that would have created
the impact that his death created. I can see the wisdom in it. I
can see God's wisdom. I don't know what the Lord's
going to do as a result of his death, but he's going to do something. I don't know what God's purpose
is going to be, but I told my church, I said, Dear, I see the
wisdom of God in you. God wants to get this message
to the people that he's sovereign, that he's on the throne, that
faith is real, that grace is real. The football coaches came
to my house. This was in the paper. He's the
assistant principal and football coach, another one came with
him. And he loved Robby so much, he said he had two, he had twin
sons. And he often told Robby, he said,
I hope my boys grow up to be just like you. And he wrote in
the paper, he said, I was going to the Mayhem House to express
my sympathy, and I dreaded to go. I didn't want to go, I dreaded
to go. But he said, when I got there,
I found such faith in that home, such confidence in that home.
He said, I left feeling better. That's one reason God took my
son. And I told the church, I said, I see his wisdom. If any son,
any boy in that church had to be taken, it's better that mine
be taken. Because I'm in the public eye, I'm in the pulpit,
I've got the ear of the people. And if God wants to say something
to the people, he can say it a lot stronger through me than
he could through one of the members. If God wants to teach the people
something by example or by doctrine, it's better if it happens to
the pastor, it's better if it happens to the pulpit, because
that way more people will hear it. And I'm going to preach this
message all over this country. I'm not hard-hearted. I'm afraid
it's known me 20 years. I'm not so proud as to come,
I'm afraid. But I believe in God. And that
makes a difference. My Lord is not a myth. My Lord
is not a historical character. My Lord's not a doctrine. He's
a real living person. Brother, you can't walk with
a doctrine, but you can walk with a living Lord. You can't
find any comfort in a doctrine, but you can find comfort in a
living Lord. You can't find any hope in a
doctrine, but you can find hope in a real living person, the
Lord Jesus Christ. And He's very precious to me.
And I say, Lord, thank You for taking my son, because I know
it's for my good. Now you turn to Romans chapter
8, verse 28. Romans 8, verse 28. Listen to
it. It says, and we know that all
things, the good and the bad, all things, the big things and
the little things, we know that all things work together for
good to them who love God. Not to everybody, just to them
who love God. That old fellow out yonder who
is an unbeliever, things aren't working together for his good.
No, sir. Not working together for his
good, they're working together for his damnation, for his unhappiness. You can't find any good apart
from God. You can't find any happiness
apart from God. You can't find any peace away
from God. But the man who loves God and
who walks with God, everything works together for his good and
for the glory of God, to them who are called according to his
purpose. Now, is that a theory, or is it true? If it's a theory,
I wouldn't give you two cents for it. But as a living truth,
I rest my eternal destiny on it. There was a preacher that
used to leave town. quite a bit, holding meetings,
a long time ago. And there was no way to communicate
with home, no telephones, and the mail was so slow. He'd be
back before the mail got there. And while he was gone, his son
died. And they embalmed him, brought
him home. The preacher was doing it any
time. They brought him home, put him in the old parlor there
in the front of the house. And the next day the preacher
came riding home on his horse, and he thought an awful lot of
this boy. They put him in there in the casket in the parlor.
He came, put the horse in the stable, and he came walking in
the back door, greeting his wife, and he said, where's my son?
Well, she said, he's around. He said, just sit down and let
me fix you a good meal. I know you're tired. And sit
down to eat, and then we'll talk about other things, and we'll
see the boy. So he sat down and ate, and when he got through
eating, he said, where's my son? Well, she said, he's around,
but she said, I've got something to ask you. Well, he said, can't
it wait? She said, no, no, it's very important.
Well, he said, go ahead. So he sat there at the table,
and she said, honey, she said, what if somebody entrusted me
with a precious stone, a diamond, very valuable, very large, and
very precious too? And they let me keep it. They
asked me to keep it for them. And they let me keep it, and
then they came and they want it back. Should I give it back
to them? Now he said, Wife, no use you
asking me foolish questions like that. You know good and well
you ought to give it back. It's not yours. They just let
you keep it for a while, just loaned it to you, it's theirs,
and when they want it back, they got a right to take it back.
Now you know that. Give it back. Now where's my
son? She took him by the hand and said, come on, I'll show
you. And she led him into that parlor and showed him the casket. And she said, honey, God let
us have that precious jewel for a few years. And we enjoyed it,
and God wanted it back. We loved him, others loved him,
God loved him too. And God gave, and now the Lord
takes him back. What are we going to say? He
bowed his head and said, blessed be the name of the Lord. And
brethren, that's why I preached my son's funeral. I did it for
the glory of God, hoping that through my testimony that somebody
might come to the knowledge of Christ, hoping through my testimony
that I might strengthen the others who have gone through these experiences.
hoping that by my example and my testimony I might cause somebody
to think about death and judgment and hell and think about the
sovereignty of God, maybe bound to God's will and purpose through
their trials, hoping to help somebody for the glory of God.
I did it for my son's sake. I wanted to. And if God takes
another one, I'll do it again. And I did it for the sake of
the believers in Ashland. But I made three statements at
that funeral. Some are here tonight who were
in that service, and I want to repeat these three statements.
This was my outline for the message. The first thing I said was this,
and this is very brief, just the outline. Number one, my wife
and my daughter and my two sons, and I are comforted. When the
soldiers came and told my wife and I that Robbie had been killed,
my youngest son is 13. He was standing in the room.
Of course, it was hard to believe, just hard to imagine. Some of
you here have been through this, and you know how hard it is even
to imagine that he's gone. But to tell you, And my wife
started crying, and the little boy came up, 13 years old. He
put his arms around his mother. And he said, Mom, he said if
it hadn't been God's will, it wouldn't have happened. 13 years old now. He said, Mom,
what is that verse of scripture, all things work together for
good to them that love God. Now he said, Mom, this will work
out for our good, and don't you cry. Isn't that good? One of the old Puritans says,
God is too good to do wrong, and He's too wise to make a mistake. God never made a mistake, and
God never done anybody wrong. So we're comforted. We get a
great deal of comfort from His sovereignty, from His purpose,
from His Word. And then, secondly, we're quite
proud of that boy. I had a lady write me from down
in Sillicosa, Alabama, and she said, I heard about your son
being killed in the wars. She said, Brother Millian, I
know your heart's broken, but she said, you can be awful proud
of him. She said, my son's in the penitentiary. He's twenty-five years old. He'll
die in the penitentiary. And she said, I'm going through
a living death. Your sorrow is great, but brother
man, it's not like mine. It's not like mine. I'd rather
my son die in uniform of his country, and die serving his
people he loved, than to die in a penitentiary. So we have
a lot to be proud of. Rob was a good soldier. I like
this, Ed, concerning all you fellows who serve in the armed
forces so faithfully. I like this statement. One man
said that he did all he was called upon to do, and he did it well. That's all we can do. He did
all that he was called upon to do, and he did it well. American freedom was bought by
blood, it's preserved by blood, it was saved by blood, and it'll
yet be defended by blood. And one of my others may be called
upon to march off to war, but nothing comes cheap. Everything
costs something. Our salvation costs the blood
of God something. Greater lord hath no man than
this that he lay down his life for his praise. And then the
third thing I said was this. I said, we're comforted. We have
a great deal of comfort. We're quite proud of him. I never
think of him except with great pride. And then thirdly, we're
thankful. I'm so glad that he knew the
Lord. There was an infidel whose son was dying. All the boy's
life, his daddy told him, there is no God. There is no Savior. There is no heaven. There is
no hell. Spurgeon said the boy came to
die. He was there when the boy died. Standing outside the door,
he'd been called in by some friend. And he said that boy was just
screaming in agony. That boy was frightened. That
boy was facing eternity without hope, without God. And Mr. Spurgeon said he heard him cry,
and he heard the father trying to comfort him, and the father
kept saying, Hold on, son, hold on! And finally the boy looked
at this daddy that had taught him all his life that there was
no God and no heaven and no hell, and he said, Dad, there's nothing
to hold to. Now brethren, when we come
to the end of life's journey, my son came to the end of life's
journey just a few days ago. One moment he was standing there,
and the next moment he was standing before God. The thing that I'm
most thankful for in my heart is that he knew and trusted and
loved the Son of God. Now do you wonder why I plead
with sinners to receive Christ? Do you wonder why your pastor
and brother-in-law and other preachers want you so much to
receive the Son of God? We don't know when you're going
to leave this earth. We don't know when you're going to hear
your last song. My son sat, he always sat over here in the church.
That Sunday night before he left for Vietnam, I preached, and
I preached the gospel. I'm so glad I did. I'm so glad
I did. And by God's grace, every time
I stand behind the pulpit, I'm going to tell them about Christ.
God helping me. I'm not going to let men and
women, boys and girls, come and sit and listen to me preach and
not tell them how to be saved. I'm going to tell them that Christ
died for sinners, that the way to glory is through Christ, through
faith in the Son of God, that salvation is not in the church,
it's not in the baptismal pool, it's not in the law, it's not
in good work, it's not in a feast down front, it's not in a preacher's
hand. Salvation is through faith in
Jesus Christ. By his stripes we're healed.
It's through Christ that we have life everlasting, and only through
Christ. And I tell you young people this,
if you know you're a sinner and you know Christ died for sinners,
you know enough to be saved. Don't you let anybody tell you
that you have to go through months and years of so-called agony
and months and years of conviction and darkness. If you know you're
a sinner, you know you're lost, and you know Christ Jesus died
for sinners, He's the only Savior, and you're willing to receive
Him and believe on Him, if you're willing to bow to His Lordship,
God will save you. It says over here in Romans chapter
10, you turn with me. I remember the night my son professed
faith in Christ. He was about 13 years old, this
one that was killed. He walked down the aisle in tears.
And he said, Dad, he said, I want to follow the Lord in baptism.
I want to confess Him as my Lord and Savior. And I said, well,
Rob, I'm so thankful. He said, well, Dad, I've waited
too long as it is. I should have come before now.
In Romans 10, sure, he was just a boy, but he'd heard the gospel
from his daddy, and he believed that gospel. And it says in Romans
10, 9 and 10, that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord
Jesus, and believe in thine heart God raised him from the dead,
thou shalt be saved. It doesn't say you have to know
all the doctrines of the church, you have to know all the doctrines
of the Bible. You're just an infant, just a
baby in Christ, just a newborn baby. That growth comes later. Walk in the light God gives you.
They give you more life. Receive Christ with all your
heart. Embrace Him. You're not going to be perfect.
Perfection waits the day when we're called home. that Christ
is our perfection, Christ is our righteousness, Christ is
our hope. May God give you the faith to believe in the Son of
God. I want us to sing a closing hymn
tonight. This morning God moved in our
midst. I don't know—let's turn to 38.
I don't know what God is laying on your heart right now. Maybe
he's dealing with you in the matter of church membership.
Maybe he's dealing with you in the matter of baptism. Maybe
he's dealing with you in the matter of a public confession
of faith in Christ. Whatever God's saying to you,
submit to His will. If tonight Christ is your Lord,
Christ is your Savior, you've never publicly confessed to Him
as your Lord and Savior, do it. If you've never followed the
Lord in believers' baptism, present yourself to this church as a
candidate for baptism. If you know what this church
is, I know it. You ought to know it. This pastor
is preaching the gospel. You ought to be associated with
these people here, identified with the people of God, and supporting
the ministry of this church. I don't know what God's laying
on your heart, but whatever it is, won't you submit to Him?

Why I Preached My Son's Funeral

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Why I Preached My Son's Funeral

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