It's chapter 5. I have a hard time preaching
on prayer because I struggle with it. I feel like a hypocrite. I have a hard time preaching
on assurance because I struggle with it. I have a hard time preaching
on casting all of our cares at the feet of Christ because I
struggle with it. People say, Kevin, you ought
not say those things. You mean you have little faith?
Do you have a lot? Do me a favor, go out to that
parking lot, look at that big mountain, since you're so strong,
and go cast it into the sea. Well, our face must be smaller
than a mustard seed. It's every one of us, isn't it? I struggle by preaching on
being a good husband, because I know I'm not. I actually thought,
well, a lot of you in here have been married almost as long as
I've been alive. I haven't been married all that
long. What can I tell you? Do you believe
what this scripture says? Paul, that was used to write
it, was single. That was my duh moment for the
week. It's not knowing, it's not being
good at praying, it's not being good at having assurance, it's
not being good at casting every care that I have, all of them,
at His feet every day. It's not about me being a good
husband, as I ought to be. It's about knowing God and knowing
what He says in His Word. That's what I'm interested in.
I'm not interested in someone else's experience. I want to
know what God has to say to me. To me only. We remember as we're
going through this chapter. If this was the 1800s, before
we had TV and football and entertainment, we'd have looked at this whole
thing in one go. We'd have sat here for about
four hours and had an intermission and we'd have went through the
whole thing. But now we've got to take it in smaller chunks,
don't we? Two weeks ago, we looked at this chapter and we saw the
great mystery of marriage. Twice in the New Testament, Paul's
called something a great mystery. And he's speaking of Christ and
His bride and His church. He said, this is a great mystery.
We looked at that, how this is a union and a picture of oneness
between Christ and His bride, the church, His body, you who
believe and all believers throughout time. And last week we looked
at the wives. How worldly, as I walk in this
earth, it's such an honor and such a privilege to be a living,
breathing example, a type and picture of this gospel that we
love in the home and in public. That's a privilege, isn't it?
But we also looked at the submission of this bride to her own husband
and to every believer. That's to all of us. We submit
to our own husband, Christ our heavenly husband, and to Him
alone. And in local assembly, we are
to submit to our own husbands. That's a hard thing for me to
tell you because I'm the one telling you. But we trust the Lord to
lead His laborers, don't we? And as a group, we submit to
our heavenly husband, Christ our husband, the Savior of the
body. And the church throughout time, from that first saint to
the last saint, that's who they submit to. Christ their husband,
their own husbands. Today we're going to look at
the husband. How this applies to you, you men, in your living
rooms. This is where it hits us, at
home. How this applies to a local body of believers. How we're
to submit to one another, how we're to love one another, to
each other. This applies to me. There's a picture of your husband.
Remember we looked at everything on scale. It starts in the home
and it goes all the way throughout time. How I'm to love you. And then this applies most importantly
as a picture we can see of Christ our heavenly husband. How he
loves us. Some will hear this and they'll
say, well I'm not a husband. I don't need to listen. I ain't
married, or I'm a wife, or it just don't apply to me. If you'll
stick with me, if the Lord will enable you to stay with me this
morning, there's something here to bless every one of His sheep.
Every one of them, because we're going to see Christ our husband
in it. That's what's most important. Now it begins there in chapter
5, Ephesians 5 verse 21. Ephesians 5.21, submitting yourselves
one to another in the fear of God. That's each one of us. were
to submit one to another. Verse 22, Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is
the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,
and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. It is so easy for husbands. Not just the young ones, not
just the ones that are new at it, the old ones too. To read
the scriptures and just wrongly assume that our wives are to
be our servants. They're to wait on us hand and
foot. That is not what that means. People say, but. That's what
goats do, don't they? But. But verse 22 it says, wives
are smitten to their own husbands as unto the Lord. That's not
talking to husbands. That's talking to wives, isn't
it? That's husbands, that ain't to us. Spiritually it is, but
carnally it's not. We're told throughout the scriptures
how we are to treat others. We are told how we are to treat
our brethren. We're told how we're to treat
our spouses. We're told how we're to treat our parents, how we're
to treat our children. Nowhere in the scriptures does
it tell me, a Bible written to me, to you, how somebody else
is supposed to treat us. He gives us instruction how we're
to treat others. That president one time said, ask not what your
country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.
What wisdom? What serve us good? What can
I do for my brethren, my bride, my parents, my children? Not
what they can do for me. Us husbands in the flesh, we
don't need to dwell on how submissive our wives are to us. We need
to dwell on what the scriptures tell us. What they speak to us. The service, the type, this picture
that the Lord's given in our hand to be a living epistle,
a living testimony of this gospel. He's given that to us. That's
what we need to be concerned about. How we treat her. And
that's plenty to keep us occupied. You ain't gonna finish up that
job and go on to worry about managing other folks. We worry
about ourselves. It says in verse 25, Husbands,
love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself for it. That's a heavy task, isn't it?
Wives, you're to submit to your husband as unto the Lord. Here's
your task. You love your bride as Christ
loved the church and gave himself for it. That's a tall order,
isn't it? The husband is the head of the
home. Somebody else may have responsibility, but he's the
one that's accountable. Many people in our day, they
disagree with that. That's how God says it is. I don't think
that's right. I think, that's where we get
in trouble with. I think everything's even. It's a joint effort. This
is a new age. God says the man's the head of
the woman. Because, like we saw these last two messages in this
same chapter, it's a picture of Christ and His church, isn't
it? It's a picture of it. The end result of a happy marriage
in this world primarily rest on the shoulders of the husband. That's my job. In my home, if I'm going to have
a happy marriage and a happy home, we like to say happy wife,
happy life, don't we? God says the primary responsibility
of happiness in the home rests on my shoulders. You mean it
rests on your shoulders. Now remember this is a picture.
This is a picture. I always try to break that up,
the practical and the spiritual and how it applies and Christ
in it, and it's just going to all mesh together today, so stay with
me. Eternally, the happiness, the well-being and the safety
of Christ's bride, His elect, His church, it rests squarely
on His shoulders and His shoulders alone, don't it? It's on His
shoulders. A happy marriage on this earth
and eternally between Christ and His bride is based on the
fact that the husband loves the wife so much. That's the foundation
of it. That she is, in response to that
love, she is so honored to be His bride. She willfully submits
to Him in all things. She obeys Him, not because she
has to, but because she wants to. You husband, you go home
and you love your brides like Christ loved the church and she
will be glad to submit to you. Be glad to. That's why the bride
of Christ, we obey Him, we trust Him, we honor Him, and we submit
to Him because of that perfect love He has for us. We're willing
bond servants and we are happy to do so. Happy to do so. A husband's responsibility to
your earthly wife can be summed up in one word. Love. Love. How are we to do that? As Christ loved the church. That's
the qualifier for it. That's what puts it in perspective
for us. That's how we're supposed to do it. Love. As Christ loved
the church. This morning we'll look at four
ways here in our text that Christ loved his church. The first one
is Christ loved the church by sacrificing himself for her. He gave the whole of himself
for his bride, all of it. Men, are we giving all of ourselves
to our brides? Are we living sacrificially for
our brides as Christ gave to make our wives know that we love
them? We ought to strive to. I know
we're not. I'm not. It's not possible, is it? But
we ought to strive to. Again, not thinking, now I'll
love her that way when she submits to me. That's that covenant of
works, isn't it? That's if-then. You do that,
then I'll do this. No, that's not grace. Christ
died for us while we were yet sinners. While we were disobedient
to Him. While we were enemies with God,
He died for us. He didn't say, I'll love you when you straighten
up. He said, I love you. In unmerited favor, do we love
our brides as Christ loved the church? A dear friend of mine,
a dear mentor of mine once said, let's man up and do it. I want
to serve the Lord. Serve Him. Get after Him. If our wives don't
feel loved and secure, we need to step it up a notch, and I'm
talking to me. If your wife needs something
and she does not have it, you sacrifice of yourself to make
sure she gets it. Isn't that what our Lord did
for us? There was a payment of sin I
didn't have. I needed a payment for sin. He
gave His blood for it. He sacrificed His blood. I needed
a righteousness to go before the Father. I couldn't be in
front of a holy God. I need righteousness. He gave
all of himself for me, as our brother just read, for me to
be his righteousness. He gave himself. That's my example. Wives, this will bleed again,
the practical and the spiritual. Wives, if your husband comes
home, the Lord does a work in their heart, and he loves you,
he tries, he has an earnest intent, to love you as Christ loved the
church, don't you take advantage of that? Well, I think I need
a Porsche. I think I need this. I think
I need that. We start needing all kinds of
things, don't we? Why wouldn't we do that? Shall we sin that
grace may abound? God forbid. Our heavenly husband
loved us. We don't take advantage of that,
do we? We don't sin more that grace can abound more, that love
can abound more, nor would we in this walk and this life. We
wouldn't do that. We saw last week if the husband and wife,
neither one of them believe. Somebody wants to come here and
say, I don't know none of this gospel that you speak of, me
and my wife's having troubles. To know how Christ loved His
bride. To know Christ. That's the first
priority. Not fixing your marriage. If
you're a husband that don't believe, fixing your marriage ain't number
one. You know Christ. Can't know how to love your bride
as Christ loved the church unless you know Him. Unless you know
that love He's had. Our Master told us, He said,
but seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.
You seek that first. Kingdom of God. Christ's righteousness. And all these things will be
added to you. If we can set our face like a flint, Bob told us
this morning, if I could look to my Redeemer, if I could look
to my Heavenly Husband and worry about His righteousness, His
Kingdom, all them other ducks are going to fall right in a
row, ain't they? And flat tires don't matter so much. And bills
don't matter so much, do they? Husbands are not to rule the
home like a third world dictator. But we are to rule the home.
It's our responsibility. The Lord's put it in our hands.
He's given the husband that responsibility. And we're to rule that home in
love and in wisdom. Where do we get the love and
the wisdom? God gave that too. He's well equipped us, believing
husbands, to rule the home. You husbands that love the Lord,
you sacrifice yourself fully for your bride and you'll be
happy to do so. You brethren in a local assembly,
you sacrifice yourselves for one another and it's going to
make you happy. It'll be good. I won't have you
turn there for time-wise, but I'll tell you, this is backwards
from that covenant of works, isn't it? That the world's married
to. But if you husbands will not
only worry about serving your wife and not worry about her
serving you, you'll be happy. If we diligently try to become
the servant to our wife, she will be happy to serve us as
well. Whenever our master come to those
disciples and they got through eating, he got up and he changed
his garments. He took off his robe and he put
a towel on. That's a uniform of a servant. And he went around and he started
washing those disciples' feet. And we got to Peter. Peter couldn't
wrap his head around And he said, well, you ain't washing my feet.
And he said, if I don't wash your feet, you have no part of
me. And he said, well, Lord, you wash all of me. Wash my head,
my hands, my feet, my knees, everything. And he said, you're
clean, Peter. One of you ain't, didn't he?
And he told them, he said, you call me Master and Lord, and
you say, well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Master,
have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.
Can you imagine that? God Almighty. The holy God of heaven and earth
was in the flesh and put a towel on, got down on his knees and
washed Peter's feet. He said, for I have given you
an example. that ye should do as I have done to you." That
don't mean we've got to go around washing each other's feet. There's
people that do that. That ain't what he's talking
about. He said, "...verily, verily, I say unto you, the servant is
not greater than his Lord, neither he that has sinned greater than
he that has sinned him." If you know these things, if you know
what I'm talking about, happy are ye if you do them. How do
I know I'm going to be happy if I don't care how my wife serves
me and I give her all I got and I love her like Christ loved
the church and I'm sacrificial in that love. God said you'll
be happy. Do you believe him? He said so. When we are to serve one another
in the right spirit, we're going to be happy too in a congregation.
It would greatly benefit us to stop finding a way to lead. To
stop finding a way to be the boss. To stop finding a way to
be a head. Quit trying to work in our wheezy
way and get some authority. Our Lord said we'd be happy if
we become servants. Servants one to another. This
applies to husbands since we are the picture of Christ in
the home. And we'll have a happy marriage if we look for ways
to sacrifice ourselves, sacrifice our pride, and be servants to
our wives. Husbands, let's lead our homes.
Take responsibility and give of ourselves as Christ gave of
himself. That would make our wives want
to be in submission to us, wouldn't it? If I truly gave at it, all
I had. There in our text, there in Ephesians
5. How did Christ love the church?
He gave himself for it. It was a sacrifice there. How
else do you love a church? He loved that church in a way
that cleansed her and made her perfect. Verse 25, Husbands,
love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave
himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with
the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself,
a glorious church, not having spot, nor wrinkle, nor any such
thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. The sacrifice of Christ made
his bride clean. without spot, without blemish.
Imagine what He had to suffer to cleanse His bride, to make
us without wrinkle, to make us without spot, to make us perfect.
We're nothing but sin. We ain't got a little bit of
sin on us, that's what we are. We ain't got a couple wrinkles,
we are a wrinkle. We are a spot. Shapen in iniquity, defiled,
and the Son of God suffered to make His bride perfect. How did He suffer? He suffered
by giving up His glory as the Son of God to come to this earth
to be made flesh. He suffered by having to obey
His own law. He suffered being in subjection
to His own creatures. He had a mother and father. You
can't fathom those things. He was in subjection to His mother
and father. Why? Because His bride had to
be. full righteousness of His bride
depended on it. He fulfilled that righteousness.
He suffered by being made sin for us who knew no sin. We can
never enter into that. In this lifetime, men can argue
over it. If we was more worried about
the Savior that was made sin for us instead of how He was
made sin, we might be a little bit happier. We might be a little
better off. He suffered by bearing the full
wrath of the Father for our sins that was laid on Him. He suffered
His blood being shed for His bride. How did He clean her? That was the blood that flowed
from His rib. That picture we looked at of
the bride being taken from His rib when that surgery performed
in Adam. The water flowed that sanctified
her, made her holy. The blood flowed that cleansed
her. What a bridegroom. Boy, what a husband. Somebody
said, I got me a good husband. You ain't got one like this?
On this earth, you don't. You may have him. That was what
Christ willingly suffered to make his bride perfect. And some
people boil it down to a legal transaction. Does that sound
like a legal transaction to you? Does that sound like going down
to books and checking the books? That's an action of love, isn't
it? A declaration of love. A fulfillment
of love. of His immense ability to love
His people. Do you have a response to that? You who know Him, if the Lord
speaks effectually through His jawbone to you, and you see what
He suffered, the sacrifice He made to make us clean, His bribe. Is there a response? Like, huh? And then going back to today?
Our response to His ability, our responsibility, is to serve
one another. He ain't here for me to hug.
I can hug you. I can hug Christ in you, can't I? I can serve
my brethren. I can be forgiving. I can sacrifice myself for my
brethren. Like Peter, I can lay down everything.
I always think of Forrest Gump leaving that boat. Y'all ever
watch that movie? He sees Lieutenant Dan and he goes, hi, and he walks
straight way off the boat. If I could see my redeemer, I
want to leave that boat. Lay down everything for it. Husbands,
we can't in this world cleanse the soul of our bride. This family
covenant nonsense and all you can pray your wife to be saved.
No, we can't do that. But I'll tell you what we can
do. We can cover the faults of our wives. Can't we? We can walk
in backwards with a blanket and cover them up. We looked at that
last week with the wives. Don't you speak ill of your husbands.
Not in private, not in public. Don't joke about them. Don't
make fun of them. Don't let nobody else do it. You protect them. Cleanse
them. Sanctify them. Husbands, don't
you speak ill of your wives. Don't make fun of them in public
or private. Christ our bridegroom never points
out our sins, does he? He don't keep bringing it up.
He covers it. And what's he covered with? His
blood. His sacrificial blood. How are we to receive one another? There's some brethren that are
just at each other's throats in this world right now because
somebody ain't doing right. How are we supposed to receive
that one that's just fallen in sin? Wherefore receive ye one
another as Christ also received us for the glory of God. That's
what Paul just told us in Romans Wednesday, wasn't it? How was
I when Christ received me? It was that covenant of grace.
It wasn't that covenant of works, was it? I didn't clean myself
up and then He come to me. He come to me when I was in the
depth of my sin. He didn't cast us away. He didn't
give us a trial period to improve ourselves. He shed His blood
for us to make us clean. That's how we should be to our
wives on this earth. Cover what very few faults they might have.
I underline that. if they have any fault. Very
few. Cover them. And be the first
to do it. Don't wait for them to do something.
Cover their faults. What would her response be if
the Lord gave us husbands the ability to go home and protect
our brides like that? It would be something, wouldn't
it? That maybe, as the wife is told to adorn her conversation,
If we go home and did that, and brides that don't come to services,
they might say, what happened to you? Maybe I'll go sit with
you. How did Christ love the church?
He gave Himself for her. He gave Himself sacrificially
in a way that cleansed her and made her perfect. And He loved
her like He loves His own flesh. Look here in verse 28. So ought
men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his
wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but nourisheth it and cherisheth it, even as the
Lord the church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. Husbands are to love our own
wives just as much as we love ourselves. And that shouldn't
be hard, because we truly are one. As Adam said, that was before
the fall, wasn't it? That's bone of my bone and flesh
of my flesh. The Father joined us together. We're one. It shouldn't
be difficult for me to love my wife as I love myself. So this
brings up a question, doesn't it? How much do I love myself? How much do you love yourself?
With everything in me, I love me. I'm good at loving me, ain't
I? I'll be the same way at loving her. I love myself enough that
I find it really easy to forgive myself when I do something wrong.
Do you? That's the way I love my bride. I love myself enough that if
I need something, I make sure it's something really good. The
best thing I can find for me is the same way I love my bride.
Turn over to 1 Peter chapter 3. 1 Peter 3. I love myself enough
to seek my own honor, and I should for her. I should
seek the honor of my wife. Here in 1 Peter 3 verse 7. Likewise,
ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving
honor unto the wife. Honor her. as unto the weaker
vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your
prayers be not hindered." This is bone of my bone. Honor her. We are fellow heirs
of the grace of life. We are both the brides of Christ.
Instead of finding fault in our spouses, what if we looked at
them and said, that's a believer. That's God's daughter sitting
right there. I said, I might still be mad
and frustrated. And gave them honor. If we do that, our prayers won't
be hindered. A lot of people argue over that. What's that
mean, prayers hindered? It means your prayers are hindered.
You have trouble praying. That's what that means. Give
honor to your wife. bone of my bone. An old writer
once said, a wise man washes himself well, he clothes himself
well, and he presents himself well before others. That's true,
isn't it? When we go out and meet somebody
in public, first impressions, all those things, right? We wash
up, put on good clothes, and we present ourselves in the best
way we can present ourselves to meet somebody. He said a wiser
husband does the same for his bride because they're one. Protect
them, wash them, clothe them, and present them well. Now back
in our text, Paul gives us some more instruction here. Verse 29, Ephesians 5, 29, For
no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourished it and cherished
it even as the Lord the church. We are to nourish our wives,
nourish her physically, make sure she's fed, nourish her emotionally,
nourish her spiritually. We're the head of the house.
We're the priest of the home. It's our responsibility to do
that. This is very important. Very important. Believing husband's
primary responsibility above everything else. This is how
we truly love our brides. To truly love them is to set
them under the sound of the gospel. Set the atmosphere in the home
as a home that believes God. And we set the example of attending
public worship for them. Father, this applies to us next
week. It's the same thing. It seems like we're all one body,
doesn't it? It's starting to look like wives and husbands
and fathers and parents and bosses. It's all starting to have the
same foundation in them. We are to cherish our wives.
Nourish her and cherish her. Make her know we love her. Never
make her doubt the fact that we love her. Child of God, we
don't doubt the love of God, do we? We may doubt that we deserve
it. We may feel like we don't deserve
His love, but we don't doubt the Savior's love, the power
of His love, the consistency from eternity, an everlasting
love. We know that, don't we? How did
Christ love a church? He gave Himself for her in a
way that cleansed her, made her perfect. He loved her like His
own flesh. Because He was made one with
her. And He loved her so well, He put her first. He put her
first. It says in verse 31, For this
cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined
unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. When you get married,
you men aren't supposed to stop respecting your father and your
parents and stop talking to them, but you are to leave them and
you are to cling to your wife. What's that mean? It means leave
your parents and cling to your wife. Playing it. Your first responsibility is
to your bride. You young men, you ain't married
yet. When you grow up, you listen to me. Your first responsibility
is to your bride. We are to protect them by not
letting them suffer at the hands or the mouth of our parents.
My parents are their parents, and we're not to let them suffer
at the hands or the mouth of our children. I'm as plain as I can be in my
home. Whenever that woman there is disrespected, I tell them
children, that's my bride. You ain't gonna talk to her that
way. That's my wife. Y'all can grow up and leave,
have your own wives. That's mine. Me and hers together. That's
the family. What in its modern terms could we put this in as
far as leaving your mother and father and clinging to your wife?
Don't be a mommy's boy and don't be a daddy's girl. That's a sure
and fast way to put your parents, interject them in between you
and your spouse, and don't let them children be interjected
in between the spouses. When we are joined together,
you leave your father and your mother. That's what they need
security. You know what a bride wants? Security. They want to know they're
safe. They want to know that love is
going to last forever. And what do you men want? Respect. Don't
you? I want to be respected. She wants
to be secure. That's what the bride of Christ
wants, isn't it? I want assurance. I want to know that the Christ's
love for me is eternal. And He'll never forsake me. He'll
never leave me. I want to know He's with me always. Do we honor Him? Do we respect
Him for it? Our Lord left His Father's side,
didn't He? He left His Father to come to
His bride. And His Father abandoned Him. His Father forsook Him.
God turned His back on God because of this bride. And that's what
was necessary for Christ to redeem His bride. When we know Christ
and we see He was forsaken of the Father for me, we love Him
and we cling to Him alone and nothing else. And if we are given
the privilege to walk this earth as a husband or a wife or a mom
or a dad or a boss or a servant, if He puts that in our hands
to do, what a privilege it is. to live a life honoring to God,
declaring His gospel. It says in verse 32, this is
a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
This is a spiritual application of what he's telling us. Nevertheless,
that's the most important part. Nevertheless, let every one of
you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the
wife see that she reverence her husband. Paul says, do it. And it says there in particular,
nevertheless let one of you in particular, this is husbands
and wives in the home, in our living room, look to Christ as
our example. You give yourself sacrificially
for your bride. As church members, we're all
the bride across the body, sacrifice yourselves one to another. Submit
yourselves one to another. Lord bless you, you'll be happy
in doing so. To me, Some of you folks, if the Lord ever raises
you up to be a pastor one day, it's going to happen. You're
going to give yourself lock, stock, and barrel over. The whole
of you. In a way that cleanses them,
makes them perfect. You cover all the sins. Don't
talk about it. Hush. Look past it. Turn the
eye. Go on. Provide everything for her. And love her so well to put her
first. your own bride, your own bride. We'll look at parents
next week. Lord willing, if he'll keep us
till the end.