Marriage and Abstinence

Q: What does the Bible say about divorce?

The Bible states that God hates divorce and that it was permitted due to human hardness of heart, but it was not God's original design. In Matthew 19, Jesus discusses divorce with the Pharisees, explaining that it was allowed by Moses because of the hardness of people's hearts, but God's intent from the beginning was for marriage to be a permanent union. God's covenant of marriage reflects the unwavering commitment between Christ and His Church. Malachi 2:16 emphasizes God's disdain for divorce, indicating that it disrupts the sacred bond intended in marriage. Therefore, while Moses permitted divorce, it was never the ideal that God had established.

Q: Why is marriage important for Christians?

Marriage is significant for Christians as it symbolizes the covenant relationship between Christ and His Church. Marriage holds a profound spiritual meaning within the Christian faith, representing the covenant between Christ and His Church. Ephesians 5:25-32 illustrates this relationship, parallelizing the love husbands should have for their wives with Christ's love for the Church. This sacrificial love signifies the commitment Christians have to one another and to God. Furthermore, it is a means through which believers can experience mutual sanctification, love, and support, reflecting the unity and faithfulness inherent in God's covenant with His people.

Q: How do we know the covenant of marriage is true?

The truth of the covenant of marriage is established by its divine origin in Scripture and its representation of Christ's relationship with the Church. The covenant of marriage is profoundly grounded in Scripture, beginning in Genesis 2:24, stating that a man shall leave his parents and join with his wife to become one flesh. This principle signifies a divine design instituted by God, not merely a human contract. Additionally, Ephesians 5:31-32 suggests that marriage serves as a mystery reflecting Christ's relationship with His Church. Therefore, the validity of this covenant is confirmed through biblical revelation and the profound implications of the spiritual union it represents.

Q: What does being 'one flesh' mean in marriage?

'One flesh' signifies a deep spiritual and physical union established by God in the covenant of marriage. 'One flesh' refers to the profound union that God created in marriage, described in Genesis 2:24. This concept transcends physical intimacy, symbolizing a spiritual and emotional bond that reflects the unity between Christ and His Church. In Ephesians 5:28-29, Paul's teachings reiterate that husbands and wives nourish and cherish one another, suggesting that this union requires mutual care and commitment. Therefore, being 'one flesh' entails not just cohabitation but a sacred partnership that embodies love, unity, and spiritual growth in alignment with God's design.

Q: Why does God hate divorce?

God hates divorce because it violates His covenant of faithfulness and disrupts the intended unity of marriage. God's hatred of divorce, as stated in Malachi 2:16, stems from its destructive impact on the covenant relationship established in marriage. The act of divorce represents a breach of faithfulness and commitment that God desires between spouses. This emotional and spiritual turmoil contradicts the sacred portrayal of marriage as a reflection of Christ and His Church. Additionally, divorce often results in pain and division, contrary to God's design for harmony and unity. Hence, God’s aversion to divorce is rooted in His love for His people and the desire for an enduring, loving relationship within the marital covenant.

Matthew 19 again Matthew chapter 19 Verse 4 and he answered the Lord answered the Pharisees and said unto them I Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

And they say unto him, why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away? And he said unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wives. But from the beginning, it was not so. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery. And whoso marrieth her which is put away, doth commit adultery.

The commandment in the beginning was very black and white, because the relationship between Christ and His church is black and white. There can be no rival, there can be no separation, there can be no divorcement. Scripture says God hates divorce, and that's why, because this is Christ and His church that is honored in the marriage ceremony and in the marriage life. Verse 10, his disciples say unto him, if the case of the man be so with his wife, it's not good to marry.

But he said unto them, all men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. There are some eunuchs which were so born from their mother's womb, and there are some eunuchs which were made eunuchs of men, and there be eunuchs which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.

He that is able to receive it. let him receive it. Let's pray together. Lord, I pray that you would give us the grace, the ability to receive this truth, Lord, that you're teaching here of the fact that it is given to your people to be completely united to you without rival, without regret, without looking back, to be satisfied with you and you alone, to be spiritually fulfilled, since you are all that we need and require and want. Bless us with that understanding, Lord, and with that heart. To your glory and honor, in Christ's name we ask it. Amen.

Now, what I just quoted about God hating divorce, I believe that's recorded in Malachi. Let's just turn over there, Malachi chapter 2, verse 13. And this ye have done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receive it with good will at your hand.

Yet ye say, wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously. Yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the Spirit, and wherefore won, that he might seek a godly seed, therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away. For one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts, therefore take heed to your spirit. that you deal not treacherously.

So you see the spiritual nature of this. In earthly things, it's a spiritual arrangement. It's not just a physical living in the same house and just a thing that's bound by a piece of paper, but it's bound by the covenant, the covenant of God. covenant of the man with the woman and vice versa. And also, he shows there how that it's the picture of Christ in his church, the covenant of marriage is a picture of the covenant of grace in Christ, where two are made one. That's what the word atonement talks about and reveals, atonement, the atonement. is at onement.

We become one with Christ. And that's what marriage pictures. And so there can be no black, there's no gray areas with that. There was a gray area with men. And we'll talk a little bit about that, but not with God. He said from the beginning, it wasn't that way. As far as what God ordained, there's no guesswork. There's no, there's no ways out. There's no loopholes. And so this covenant that's spoken of here is a precious one.

It's a picture of Christ and his church, and I'd again refer you to Ephesians 5, and let's turn over there this time, verse 22. Ephesians 5, 22. wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord already there's the parallel made there the parallel it's it's a submission as unto the Lord because it is submission to the Lord's covenant to his instruction to his word that the wife be submissive to her husband For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and He is the Savior of the body." The reason you're to submit yourself is not so you'll get along with one another, although it results in that. It's because Christ is the head of the church. He made the husband the head of the wife because Christ is the head of the church, and He's the Savior of the body. It's a precious spiritual covenant. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wife be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word.

You see the bearing of this on our text? The Pharisees are asking a dumb question and the Lord is dealing with spiritual truth. That's not what God ordained. What you're talking about is not what God ordained. And this is why He ordained it that way. That He might present it, verse 27. Did I read verse 26? That He might sanctify and cleanse it. He gave Himself for the church. He loved the church. He so loved that He gave. There's those two words here too, also he loved and he gave. He so loved that he gave.

The only way you're gonna give yourself in marriage is because of love. Everything else is just a civil arrangement. That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church. not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they shall too shall be one flesh. For what cause? For we are members of his body. That's the cause for earthly marriage? And it's the result of earthly marriage, to see that bond, that commitment, that covenant that God made with His people, that joined us as one with Christ.

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the Church. He's dealing with husbands and wives, but He said, I'm talking about Christ and His Church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife, even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband. The problem with our society is that that word means nothing to anybody, hardly at all. And the problem with the souls of men is that there's no love, there's no commitment, there's no covenant, there's no spiritual union with Christ. In both cases, Christ is the answer. And in the context, listen, the marriage of a man and a woman is a picture of Christ and his church.

The Lord declares concerning his people, his elect in Hosea 2.19. This is the Lord speaking to his church.

I will betroth thee unto me forever. Yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness and in judgment and in lovingkindness and in mercies. How can God join himself to us in judgment and righteousness and yet in lovingkindness and in mercy? If God is going to be righteous and the righteous judge, how can we stand before him in white How can he make an eternal covenant of love with us? And in loving kindness and in mercy, betroth us unto him by the blood of Christ, by the covenant of grace.

And when the Lord had that last supper, he said, this is the new covenant as he held up a cup of wine in my blood. Not in the ceremony, not in the wine, not in the picture, but in my blood, which is represented by this cup of wine. That's the new covenant. The fulfillment of it, the purpose of it, the reality of it, is it's a covenant between Christ and his people.

So the Pharisees asked a dumb question to try to trip the Lord up. He taught them about the love and mercy of God and Christ. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness. Thou shalt know the Lord. Thou shalt know the Lord. In the context of that passage of Scripture in the book of Hosea, the Lord teaches Hosea of the love of God for his elect and his people in a very convincing way.

Hosea 1-2 Let's turn over to the book of Hosea. Daniel, I believe, here. Let's see, Hosea 1. Verse two, go take unto thee, this is the latter part of it, go take unto thee a wife of whoredoms, for the land hath committed great whoredom, departing from the Lord.

So you see, the issue is the relationship between God and his people. The people of God are unfaithful. But the whole message of the story of Hosea and Gomer is that God is faithful. Gomer was unfaithful, but not Hosea. The Lord said, I'm gonna teach you of my love for my people, and here's how I'm gonna do it. Go take thee a wife of Hortums, and children of Hortums, for the land hath committed great Hortum from departing from the Lord.

And the book tells of the story of Hosea and Gomer, and it's all interwoven throughout the book of Hosea, so we can't really take the time to read the whole book, but you probably know most of the story. Now that Gomer was unfaithful to Hosea, she never changed, and that's us by nature.

Until the Lord buys us to Himself, we're not going to change. We're not gonna be, we're not gonna just love the Lord, you know, oh, how I love Jesus. No, you don't. Not until he reveals to you how he loved you and how he bought you with a price, redeemed you from your, what the word hortums represents here. There again, what we talked about a while ago, it's, having disdain for that which is precious, and preference for that which is fleshly, for gain, for fleshly gain.

So Hosea and Gomer, she was unfaithful to him, and she went and lived in a house where she would receive other men. Married to Hosea, and yet Hosea had been caused by God. He said, go love her, go take thee a wife, and he said, go love this woman. He calls her to love him, to love her. And so Hosea, even though Gomer was unfaithful to him, he couldn't stand to see her abused and used and living in squalor, living like a woman of the street is universally known to live, and it hurt him, and it caused his love for her to just be stronger, and he would see her neglected, he would see her in need, he would come and put food and money and things on her doorstep, so that she would have what she needed, because this is such a beautiful picture of Christ.

Even though we're wretched and vile, And we don't care anything about that which is precious. We're just in it for gain, for fleshly gain. And the Lord leaves everything on our doorstep. Even before we know him, even before we have any regard for him, he leaves everything on our doorstep. He takes care of us, makes sure that we're all right. And what do we do? Gomer said when Hosea would leave things on her doorstep, this is literally from the scriptures, look what my lovers have brought me.

We hold our hand up to the world, which can give us nothing. And when God gives it, we credit the world or our own merit, our own ability, our own getting what's coming to us, but the Lord is just putting it on our doorstep. But there came a day when all of it was taken away and Gomer was destitute and ugly and no more desirable and she was being sold as a slave. Nobody wanted her for any other reason anymore, so she was being sold as a slave.

And God declared in the last verse of chapter two, verse 23, listen to it. I will sow her unto me in the earth, and I will have mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy. And I will say to them, which were not my people, Thou art my people, and they shall say, Thou art my God." That's God speaking of His elect. They're nobody, they're unloved, they're useless, they have no mercy, they have no provision. But the Lord says, I'm going to say that they're mine. They're mine. I'm going to call them mine. And I'm going to have mercy on them. And I'm going to say to them, you're mine. You're mine. That's the gospel. In the gospel, the Lord reveals to us that not only are we his, but we've always been his. We've always been his. He's always loved us. He loved us from the start.

He loved us in spite of. And when he saw the result of our depravity, when he saw what our wretchedness had brought upon us, he had pity, he had mercy. Rather than being disgusted, rather than being offended, rather than, and why wouldn't he be offended? Why wouldn't he pour out his wrath upon us? Because he loved us. Because he loved us. He wanted us to have what we needed, and he gave it to us before we ever knew.

He then says, after saying that about his elect, her which has obtained no mercy, I'm going to have mercy on her. And she wasn't mine, but I'm going to tell her you're mine. And she's going to say, you're my God. And then he said to Hosea in the first verse of chapter three, go yet.

Love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulterous. According to the love of the Lord toward the children of Israel. Who look to other gods or spiritual adulterers? Spiritual. Harlots. And love flagons of wine. It's all about the flesh. It's all about what fulfills us, what makes us happy. and selfishness, and absolute and blatant disregard for the one who loves us and gave himself for us.

And then Hosea said in Hosea 3, 2, so I bought her to me. I bought her to me. Go yet, verse 1 of chapter 3, go yet and love a woman. That's the gospel right there, go yet. The Lord yet, in spite, of my disregard for him, in spite of all of my offenses and my spiritual adultery and fornication, in spite of my dishonoring his name. I mean, you could go on about the evil of what Gomer represents. He said, go yet and love her. continue to love her, love her anyway, love her in spite of.

And so what did Hosea do? What did Christ do? He bought us. He bought us in spite of us. He bought us while we were yet sinners, he died for us. for 15 pieces of silver, and for an omer of barley, and a half omer of barley. And people argue about what that's worth and what that means. Oh, there must be some secret meaning to this. You know what it means? Whatever it took, whatever it cost, he paid it, every bit of it.

He didn't bargain. He didn't try to Jew anybody down. I don't know if that's a politically correct thing to say. Anyway, I don't mean it that way. He just bought her for whatever it took and paid it in full. And I said unto her, thou shalt abide for me many days, and thou shalt not play the harlot. and thou shalt not be for another man, and so will I also be for thee."

This is what our Lord is talking about when men have unprofitable questions, trying to trip up, trying to disprove the scriptures. It's very simple. You know, people can argue about, oh, was Noah's Ark real and all this and that. You know what matters and what doesn't matter? Do you love the Lord? Do you love the Lord Jesus Christ? If you do, then every word that comes out of his mouth is true as it can be, and you rely upon his word. His word is a comfort to you.

And it's not a story about a big boat being built. It's a story about the redemptive love of Christ for his sheep in so much that God's judgment fell on him and not his people. The Lord reminds these men that though divorce was allowed by Moses, it was never the perfect will of God. It was never the revealed will of God. It was not so from the beginning. God hates putting away, and all of these spiritual truths are why.

The law of God concerning marriage is a picture of His love for us. They twain shall be one flesh. That's what Christ did for us. He committed himself to become one with us, his people, that we may be one, they may be one, even as we are one. Took upon himself our nature and united himself to us eternally.

Why does the Lord give this reason for divorce in the text? We'll close with this thought, I believe. It's instructive with regard to divorce. You know, he said, because of the hardness of your hearts. And the reality of that was that men were abusing their wives. They were mean as snakes, just like all of us are by nature. They were beating their wives. They were sometimes killing their wives. And so Moses said, there's got to be a way out for the woman. And so he allowed divorce for that reason.

And there are a lot of things, you know, the Lord has a perfect law. He has a perfect will. He has a revealed will. And that's broken by everybody every day. It's not adhered to. Nobody cares, really, unless he causes us to care. Unless he reveals to us that the law is good, the law is right. We love the law of God after the inward man. But his perfect revealed will doesn't change.

And yet, because of gray areas that we cause by our evil, things are done differently. That's the truth here. But why is this even mentioned in here? I'll tell you, it's not so we can be like the Pharisees and look down on everybody that's been divorced for any reason. If you don't see the love of God for us here, that's what we've missed. And they missed it. They missed it.

God have every right and every reason to put us away. It was the law. black and white. For these causes, you can put away your wife. Any other cause, no, but he had every reason to, but he couldn't do it, because he yet loved us. He yet loved us, even though we were unfaithful, even though we were ugly, even though we were used up and repulsive. And we thought all that the mercies that he had shed upon us up to that point, what we gained by our own sinful efforts, or earned by our dealings with our so-called lovers, their love for us, quote-unquote, he yet loved us. He yet loved us. He so loved us that he gave his son for us. to live for us and to die for us.

And not many can receive that. That's what we'll talk about tonight, Lord willing. Not many can receive it, and that concept is ushered in, as we'll see in the text, from a different metaphor, but the same message that not very many people put away That which is precious for every reason, for whatever reason. But not if there's love, they don't. When there's love, when there's true love, the love of Christ for his people, every reason imaginable can present itself. Why you would want to put us away. But he loves us yet. That's the gospel. May we, by His grace, be able to receive it.

Marriage and Abstinence

Key Quotes

What does the Bible say about divorce?

Why is marriage important for Christians?

How do we know the covenant of marriage is true?

What does being 'one flesh' mean in marriage?

Why does God hate divorce?

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Marriage and Abstinence

Key Quotes

What does the Bible say about divorce?

Why is marriage important for Christians?

How do we know the covenant of marriage is true?

What does being 'one flesh' mean in marriage?

Why does God hate divorce?

Sermon Transcript

About Chris Cunningham

Comments

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