Let's open our Bibles to the
fifth chapter of the book of Ephesians. Ephesians chapter
five. Just hold your place there for
just a few minutes. And let me tell you about four of the rarest,
richest, greatest honors, privileges, and blessings a man can enjoy
in this world. And these are four great honors
God has been pleased to grant to me. The Lord God has revealed
his son in me. What a great rare thing that
is. We live in a day when few know
who God is, few know anything about his grace, few know his
son. God has given you life and faith
in his son. You ought never to cease to give
thanks to him for his great mercy and grace in doing so. Secondly,
God has given me the privilege, since I was 17 years old, of
being a part of a church family where the gospel of God is honored
and where Christ is honored and where Christ is preached. It
has been my privilege to be part of this church family for better
than 37 years. What a privilege. The local church
is a miniature of the church universal. This is the body of
Christ. We are privileged to be part
of the body of Christ. We ought to make it our business
always to do everything we can to assist and to help one another
in the body of Christ. This fifth chapter of Ephesians,
Paul is particularly talking about the local church and the
privileges and responsibilities that are ours as one with Christ
and one with one another. When we come together at the
Lord's table every Sunday evening, Paul urges us to remember this
is the communion of the body and blood of Jesus Christ. And
we have been baptized into one body, partakers of Christ and
partakers of one another so that our lives constantly are affected
by one another. Let us do good to one another
in the house and kingdom of God. And the Lord God has been pleased
to make me a preacher of the gospel. He has entrusted to my
hands the treasure of his grace to proclaim the gospel of his
grace in this generation for the salvation of his people,
for the care of his people, for the glory of his name, for the
honor of his son. I cannot imagine a man more unsuited
more unfit, more incapable of doing that which God has trusted
to my hands, and I count it my highest honor, my highest honor
in this world, to be a preacher of the gospel. And fourth, the
Lord, God graciously, has given me the privilege of living in
a happy home. A happy home, what a privilege,
what a privilege. I never knew what that was until
God gave me the wife he did and gave us the blessed privilege
of his grace in our homes. I wonder if you'd be interested
in three things that will guarantee a happy home. I know some of
you are older than I am and have been married longer than I have,
but I'm not a novice. I've been preaching the gospel
for 50 years, and Shab and I have been married for 48 of those
years. I don't pretend to have all the
answers to the questions and problems that people have in
their homes. But I do know that any problem
you may have in your home will arise from one of these three
specific areas that I'll be discussing in this message, three things
that Paul deals with in this fifth chapter of Ephesians, beginning
at verse 22 and going down through the fourth verse of chapter six.
Here are three things that will guarantee a happy home. If we
would build our homes for the glory of Christ, if we would
honor God in our households, and that's our responsibility,
that's our privilege and our responsibility, if we would do
so in our homes, we must make the word of God and the word
of God alone authoritative so that our homes are built upon
the word of God. We must not allow social philosophy,
human opinion, the customs of the day to govern the way we
live in our homes. We simply must not do so. We
must not allow the latest opinion polls to dictate our family's
principles. The word of God gives us plain,
clear, unmistakable instruction in all areas of family life and
in all areas of moral conduct. You don't have to question anything
concerning what we ought to do in our relationship with one
another in public life or in our private lives or in our homes. The Word of God gives us clear,
very clear instruction. God tells us plainly what's right
and what's wrong. If we're interested in building
our homes for God's glory, we must make the Word of God authoritative,
recognize its authority and bow to it. And if we would build
our homes for the glory of God, we must get our priorities in
order and keep our priorities in order. There are some things
far more important than a big house on the fancy hill in the
most elite part of town. There are some things far more
important than the social class to which we belong, the clothes
we wear, or the accumulation of money and the recognition
of men. It is positively wrong. It is positively wrong for believers
to live for and seek after such things. I can't state that emphatically
enough. It is positively wrong for you
and I, who are God's children, to live for prosperity and to
live for importance and to live for position. It's wrong for
us to live for those things and seek those things. Our Lord Jesus
said, take no thought what you shall eat, what you shall wear,
where you shall live. He said, your heavenly father,
who clothes the lilies and feeds the sparrows, knows what you
need. And he tells us plainly, after
these things do the Gentiles seek. That's what the reprobate
live for. That's what the reprobate seek.
That's what men and women who are under the wrath of God, cursed
of God, seek after. The Lord God has set them in
slippery places and they'll fall in due season because God has
set the world in their hearts. Oh God, thank you. for not setting
the world in my heart. Let us never, never set our hearts
on this world, but rather seek ye first the kingdom of God and
his righteousness. Concerning ourselves and our
families, our primary concern must be about our souls. Seek the glory of God in all
things. Make the glory of God your object. and you will not greatly err
in any area of life. Make the glory of God your goal
and you will not go wrong in any aspect of life. See to it
in your households that your family worships God. Don't allow
anything to keep you or your children from the worship of
God, nothing, nothing. No matter what comes up, don't
allow things to come up. Make certain that you build your
house, your home, and your life around the worship of God. Don't
just fit it into your family, but rather build your house around
the worship of God. I have said to many men, both
in this area and around the world, Make it your business to plant
yourself in a place where you and your family know we here
will worship God and we here will do what we can to build
the kingdom of God. This is where we are. This is
what we do for the glory of God and seek the welfare of God's
church in all things. My family, is not my primary
concern, as important as my family is to me. My primary concern
is God's family, God's son, and God's glory. Let us endeavor
then as believers together to promote the gospel of the grace
of God and in our homes, endeavor to promote the gospel of God's
grace and glory in Christ. Now, I'm not suggesting anything
radical. I don't suggest or imply that you should rob your family
of food and shelter and clothing, obviously. But I do say that
it is far more important for me to give myself, my time, my
labor, my money, and my attention to the cause of Christ for the
furtherance of the gospel than it is for me to live in the lap
of luxury and provide the lap of luxury for my family. If we
would build our homes for Christ and have any real spiritual influence
over our families, we must get our priorities in order. And
if we will build our homes for the glory of Christ, we must
live as believers in our homes. There's no place in the house
of God's people, no place in the families of believers for
contention and anger and wrath and strife and envy, no place
for it in the church of God and no place for it in our homes.
If we're truly God's children, we're strangers and pilgrims
in this world, and we should be content with God's good providence,
desiring neither more nor less than our Heavenly Father is pleased
to heap upon us in His grace. If we're true believers, in our
homes we will live in patience, in tenderness, in love, and in
self-denial. That makes for peace in the church,
and that makes for peace in the home. Children of God, pray that
God will give us grace to live as God's children together in
our own households. Now, let's look at this fifth
chapter of Ephesians. I touched on these things Tuesday
night, and I want to go over these very same things with a
little bit more detail this morning. This is what the Spirit of God
teaches us in this portion, Ephesians 5, 22. Wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is
the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church,
and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject
unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even
as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that
he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water
by the word. that he might present it to himself
a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men
to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his
wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his
own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord
the church. For we are members of his body,
of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave
his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and
they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but
I speak concerning Christ in the church. Nevertheless, let
every one of you, in particular, so love his wife even as himself,
and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right. honor thy father and
mother, which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well
with thee and that thou mayest live long upon the earth and
ye fathers provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in
the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Now clearly the apostle
Paul is here addressing men and women who are believers, men
and women who are born of God, taught of God, many women who
are washed in the blood of Christ, united with Christ, one with
Christ, many women robed in the righteousness of Christ, many
women who live by faith in the Lord Jesus and live for the glory
of the son of God. Now here's the first thing. A
truly happy home must begin with a loving husband at the head
of the house. That's what we're told in verses
23, 25, 28, and 29. Husbands, love your wives. The primary responsibility of
every household is on the shoulders of the husband, the father of
that house. Yes, even the 21st century, man
is required of God to be the head of his house. It's not possible. It is not possible. It is not
possible to have a happy home unless the man is the head of
his house. God Almighty holds me, this man,
responsible for my household. That responsibility cannot be
relinquished. That responsibility cannot be
given over to my wife. That responsibility cannot be
given over to somebody else. It is my responsibility. Before
God, I am his prophet. his priest and his king in my
house. It is my responsibility to behave
myself as the prophet, priest, and king of my house, God's representative
in my family. I'm responsible to provide for
my family, to train my children in the way of the Lord. I'm responsible
to govern my household for the glory of God. Every husband must
be the head of his family. That means the decisions of the
family are his responsibility. That means the governing of the
family is his responsibility. The welfare of the family is
his responsibility. And he must exercise that headship
in love, ruling his house for God's glory. He said, pastor,
that just can't be done. There was a man many years ago
by the name of Joshua who said, as for me and my house, we will
serve the Lord. How could a man do that? If you
live in my house, you're going to serve God with me. Just that
simple. It's just that simple. As for
me and my house, we will serve the Lord. I have a very dear
friend who some years ago had a teenage boy who decided that
he just wasn't going to live like that in his father's house.
And the man's a faithful preacher, a dear friend of mine. He said,
son, if you're not going to live the way I require in my house,
you can't live in my house. Pack your bag and get out. Pack
your bag. Well, you can't do that to your
son. If you care for your family, you can. If you care for your
family, you can. God's servants are required to
lead their houses in the worship and service of God. Well, what's
my responsibility as the head of my house? There are some things
that every man's family ought to reasonably expect from him.
It is my responsibility to provide for them. to work and take care
of them. No matter how hard that is demanded,
no matter how taxing that is on me, it's my responsibility
to do so. If a man will not work, neither
should he eat. It's every man's responsibility
to provide for his house. It's his responsibility to protect
his house, to see to it that others do not do that which would
destroy his house. It's my responsibility to teach
my family and lead my family in the worship of God. It's my
responsibility to train any children God gives me as God's servant
and God's representative to them by instruction, by example, by
discipline. A loving father will see to it
that his children obey him. He'll see to it that they do.
Well, I just, I love my son too much to cause him pain. I love
my daughter too much to cause him pain. No, you love yourself
too much. A loving father will see to it
that his children obey him. It's my responsibility to love
my wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. To love
my wife as Christ loved the church is to prefer her happiness to
my happiness. to prefer her welfare to my welfare. It is to lay down my life for
her good. What do those responsibilities
require a man to be? Many things could be said, but
let me give you three things. A man who's the head of his house
must display firmness, not hardness, firmness. Every woman wants and
needs a man who is a man. The woman's the weaker sex. God
has fixed it so that her desire is unto her husband. That is,
she must have a man she can lean on and depend on. True manliness
involves firmness. Second, as the head of his house,
a man must display dependability. Your wife and children need to
depend on you. They need to be able to count
on you. I want to be the kind of man
that you just know exactly what I'm going to do in any situation.
That's the kind of man I want to be. You can predict how I'm
going to respond. My wife, my daughter, they can
predict how I'll respond to almost anything. They need that dependability. They need that. And third, as
the head of my house, I must display tenderness, particularly
to my wife. Dwell with your wife in knowledge
and honor, knowing who she is and what she needs. Every real
man is something that we, don't generally hear much about these
days. He's a gentleman. He's a gentleman. That doesn't
just mean polite. That means he's a gentle man,
tender, loving, kind, and thoughtful. That doesn't take away anything
from firmness. That doesn't take anything away
from his dependability, his faithfulness. In your speech, in your actions,
be tender, thoughtful, loving, and gentle. Second, A truly happy
home requires a submissive and obedient and dedicated wife. By divine inspiration, the husband
is commanded to love his wife. And by divine inspiration, a
woman is commanded to reverence, submit to and obey her husband. It's not difficult. for a man
to love a woman if she reverences him and submits to him. And it's not difficult for a
woman to reverence a man and submit to a man who loves her,
who truly loves her. It's not a matter of a man's
superiority over his wife. You who know Shelby and I both,
know very well that she is, in almost every aspect of life,
my superior. The only thing I'm having advantage
over her is I'm a little stronger than her. And I'm losing that.
But mentally, she's sharp. She's sharp. She's just sharp.
Dependability, you can't find any better. But it's my responsibility
to govern the house, and her responsibility to submit to me
as her husband. A woman's husband is in a God-ordained
position of authority. The fact is, every man needs
and wants the reverence of his wife. It grieves me. Sometimes it angers me. I prefer
that it grieves me. agrees me to hear men speak ill
of their wives, or to hear women speak ill of their husbands.
It ought not to be, ever, ever. You ladies, your husband needs
to know that you truly respect and appreciate him. Praise him,
honor him, encourage him in speech and in thought. Don't belittle
it in private or in public. Don't even do it in jest. Show
your husband reverence. Now I'm gonna tell you something.
If you do, it's very likely that you will receive love and tenderness
you desire from the man you reverence. I have never yet seen a woman
who reverenced and obeyed her husband who didn't have a happy
home. If you have, let me know and
I'll sit down and let you talk. I've never seen it happen. I've
never seen it happen. Every man wants and needs for
his wife to be a faithful housewife. I don't mean that a woman must
not work outside the home or she should have no outside interest.
but the principal sphere of her activity must be her home. Her principal care must be her
home. Nothing pleases a man more than
for his wife to keep a neat, clean house, spend some time
preparing good meals, but for some effort, preparing special
treats for him. If you give your husband a reason
to come home at night, he probably will, and may just spend more
time with you there. And every man needs for his wife
to be content. Content with what he's able to
provide. Content with what he's able to
give. Now, I need you to make two comments
in this regard and I'll quit. Our families need us much more
than they need the frills we may heap upon them to pacify
them. And second, don't build your
home around your children. If you do, you'll regret it in
time. The children will soon be gone.
Build your home, men and women, around each other and live in
happiness. And while the children are there,
here's the third thing. A truly happy home must be a
home in which children are compelled and taught taught and compelled
to be respectful and obedient to the parents. This is principally the responsibility
of a husband, but that husband must have the faithful support
of his wife in giving the discipline of the house. And your house
will be a house of misery, both for your children and for you,
if you don't require that they reverence and obey you. If the
children are obedient and reverent to their parents, if a woman
submits to and obeys her husband, if a man loves his wife as the
head of his house, Building that home for God's glory, you will
have troubles and heartaches and pains, no question, no question,
but you will have a happy home while you make your pilgrimage
through this world. God give us grace to do what
he here teaches us to do for Christ's sake, amen.