I love that line, behind a frowning
providence, he hides a smiling face. I've entitled this message, Do
Benevolence. Evidently, the church at Corinth
had some questions about being married and about being single. Paul says in verse one, now concerning
the things wherever you wrote unto me, it's good for a man
not to touch a woman. They asked him about this issue
and he writes them back. And he goes on to speak quite
a bit in this chapter about marriage and being single and being divorced. Now there are challenges to being
married. Amen? And there are challenges
to being single. And the reason being, the married
couple are still sinners. And the single person is still
a sinner. From hence, the challenges arise. Sin is behind every problem and
challenge we have. Now, Paul says in verse one,
now concerning the things wherever you wrote me, and they wrote
him about several different issues, and he is answering them in this
letter to the Corinthians. He says, now concerning the things
wherever you wrote unto me, it's good for a man not to touch a
woman. Now, why did Paul say that? Look
in verse seven, he said, for I would that all men were even
as I myself, unmarried. But every man hath his proper
gift of God, one after this manner and one after that manner. Now,
why did Paul say that? You'd be better off being single.
and not being married. Well, Paul could not be a traveling
missionary the way he was, always exposed to danger, always away
from home, and be a good husband. He just couldn't. He'd be gone
all the time. He certainly wouldn't be able
to render to his wife the benevolence due her because he wouldn't be
there. He would be gone for years at a time. So obviously he could
not be a man that was seeking to be a pleasing husband to his
wife. He was a eunuch for the kingdom
of heaven's sake. He dropped all of the joys of
marriage so he could go everywhere preaching the gospel. And he
says to these people, it's good for a man not to touch a woman. Now look in verse 32 of the same
chapter. He said, I would have you without
carefulness, without anxiety. He that's unmarried careth for
the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that's married careth
for the things that are of the world, how he may please his
wife." Now there's a reason why it's better to be unmarried. If you're unmarried, you are
caring for the things of the Lord and not having to care for
the things that concern your wife. Nevertheless, he says in
verse two, to avoid fornication. Let every man have his own wife
and let every man have her own husband. Not all, actually very
few, have this gift that he's speaking of, where Paul made
himself a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven's sake. Very few people
have that gift. So to avoid fornication, let
every man have his own wife, let every woman have her own
husband. You know, I love this scripture
in Hebrews chapter 13, verse four. May we all listen to what
it says. Marriage is honorable in all. It's an honorable thing. It's
a God-ordained thing. It's a gift of God. We're to hold marriage in high
esteem. We're to teach our children to
hold marriage in high esteem. Marriage is honorable in all
and the bed undefiled. It's given as a gift of God to
that man and woman in marriage. The bed is undefiled. Whoremongers and adulterers,
God will judge. That's what he says. And I hope
we take that to heart. Whoremongers. and adulterers
God will judge. And the reason marriage is honorable
is it's ordained of God. It was before the fall. Would
you turn with me to Genesis chapter two for a moment? Verse 18. This is before there
was sin. This was before the fall. And I think this is very significant.
Even before the fall, he said in verse 18, and the Lord God
said, it's not good that the man should be alone. Before the
fall, it's not good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help meet
for him. Now I love that verse. That's
where we get the word help mates from. A man is to be a help to his
wife. The wife is to be a help to her
husband. They both need help. Some couples
don't seem to help each other. They almost seem to be toxic
around each other and that's never right. Be a help one to
another. The husband should help his wife
be a better woman. And the wife should help her
husband to be a better man. Not some kind of codependent
relationship, but improving one another. The instruction of love
toward each other. That is so important. This is not about self-help.
This is spouse help. I like that. Spouse help. A husband and wife should first
of all be best friends. That's the most important relationship. Best friends. They should respect
one another. Now, remember this respect is
earned. It's not an entitlement. I need to be respected. Respect
is earned. But a husband and a wife should
show great respect for one another. As a matter of fact, respect
is the foundation of a good relationship. And if there's not respect, there
is not a good relationship. A husband and wife should communicate
honest lines of communication all the time so they're not blindsided. They're to be quick to forgive
one another. And they're to be lovers to one
another. That's what God has ordained.
And that is the position of a man and woman together as helpmates. Now, let's go on reading. And out of the ground, verse
19. The Lord God formed every beast of the field. You know that question everybody
asks, which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. You
don't need to wonder about that. And every fowl of the air and
brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them and whatsoever
Adam called every creature. That was the name thereof, and
Adam gave names to all cattle and to the fowl of the air and
to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found
and help, meat appropriate for him. Now here we have the gospel. Verse 21, and the Lord God caused
a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept. That's the cross
of the Lord Jesus Christ. That's the death of Christ. Your
life, if you have spiritual life, it comes out of his death. It
comes from being in him. Eve was in Adam. Let's go on reading. He slept
and he took one of his ribs and closed up The flesh instead thereof,
I guess that's the first operation. He took Eve out of Adam. I come out of his side. I live
because of his death. I hope we never, ever think of
life apart from his death in any way. The cross has got to
be before us. His cross, what he accomplished
on Calvary's tree by his bloody death all the time. And our salvation
is being in him. Now understand this. She was
in him. I've been in Christ from eternity,
loved from eternity, accepted in the beloved. She was in him
and the Lord brought her out of him. What a beautiful type
of the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ we have in that. The story
of the cross, the deep sleep, the death of Christ, the church
coming from there. Verse 22, and the rib which the
Lord God had taken from man made he a woman. Somehow we were made out of Christ.
I don't understand that. I don't pretend to. But I've always been in Him. And He, the Lord, took me out
of Him. We find our origin in the Lord
Jesus Christ. Now, obviously, being deity,
He's eternal. And I don't understand this,
but I've always been in Him from eternity. Isn't that mind-boggling? The rib is brought out of Adam
and Adam said in verse 23, this is now bone of my bones and flesh
of my flesh. She shall be called woman because
she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his
father and his mother. and shall cleave unto his wife,
and they shall be one flesh." And the Apostle Paul tells us
in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 29 or 30, he said, this is a
great mystery. The two shall be made one flesh.
This is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ
and the church. Marriage is given to picture.
This is its purpose. It's given to let us know something
about the relationship that the Lord Jesus Christ has with his
church. Verse 25 expresses life before
the fall. And they were both naked, the
man and his wife, and were not ashamed. There was no sin. There was nothing to be ashamed
of. Sin was not an issue. An unclean thought was not an
issue. They were perfect. They had no sin. They were naked and they were
not ashamed. Now what all questions did the
Corinthians bring up? We're not told, but among them
was marriage, divorce, and being single. And Paul addresses those
issues in 1 Corinthians 7. Now, let me remind you once again,
God made marriage. That's why my marriage and your
marriage is so important. And if you're single, it's important
for you to be single. But God made both of these states. Would you turn with me for a
moment to Malachi 2? That's the last book in the Old
Testament, Malachi. Malachi then Matthew. Malachi
chapter 2 verse 14. Yet you say wherefore? Let's, verse 13. And this have
you done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears,
with weeping, with crying out him so much that he regardeth
not the offering any more, or receiving it with good will at
your hand. Yet you say, wherefore? Because
the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth
against whom thou hast dealt treacherously. Yet she is thy
companion and the wife of thy covenant. Talking about the marriage
covenant. And did not he make one? Yes, he did. Yet had he the residue
of the spirit, and wherefore one that he might seek a godly
seed, therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal
treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord God
of Israel saith that he hateth putting away. He hates divorce. That's God's commentary on divorce.
He hates divorce. And he calls it dealing treacherously. Now, I guarantee you, anybody
that's ever gone through a divorce would say they hate it too. I
mean, all the trouble it brings. Divorce is so prevalent in our
society. And what I think is amazing is
the percentage of divorce among, quote, church people and people
who don't go to church is the same. It's so prevalent in our
society. And that's such a shame. You
know, when I was growing up, it was almost unheard of. You
know, I don't know of one in my first grade, second grade
class, and some people have experienced it to their own sorrow, but I
don't remember one friend or kid in my class that didn't have
both his parents in their home. Divorce, I've never seen it as
an option. I've considered murder a couple
of times. Divorce is not an option. And
I've never thought of it that way. And I'll say this, and I'll
go out here and file for divorce. But I've never seen it as an
option. God said, I hate divorce. And somebody that's getting married
should never think, well, if I'm not happy, I can get divorced.
No. hates divorce. God hates putting
away. And I've heard that the worst
thing anybody goes through, as far as the most stressful things
in life, is people who have gone through a divorce. What a stressful,
terrible hardship that is upon them. God said he hates divorce,
and marriage and the family union is the foundation of our society,
and we better have, like I've already said, we better have
a high view of it, and we better teach our children to have a
high view of it. How divorce damages children. Oh, how it hurts children. Now, I realize that there's some
cases that, you know, when The Pharisees said to the Lord, why
did Moses suffer man to divorce his wife? And the Lord said,
because of the hardness of your heart. There are cases, if there
were not divorce, somebody would get killed. And it was a mercy
for the Lord to let those people escape those marriages. And as
far as that goes, there are, in this scripture, he speaks
of such cases. Every case is different. Every
case is, you don't know what's going on, and I wouldn't advise
somebody to stay someone if their spouse is unfaithful. It would
be better if you could, and if you could forgive them. But the
Bible gives right to do that. Or if somebody's being physically
abused, I'm not going to say, stay with them. No, I'm not going
to do that. And that's what he's talking
about when he's talking about such cases. There are such cases,
you don't know what people are going through. And well, we'll
get to that in a moment, but let's go on reading back to our
text in first Corinthians seven. Let the husband verse. He said,
verse 2, nevertheless to avoid fornication, let every man have
his own wife and let every man have her own husband. Let the
husband render unto the wife due benevolence. The good will do her. And let the woman render to her
husband the goodwill due toward him. Now, the goodwill were had
toward one another in every aspect of marriage. What that means
is I'm seeking to be pleasing to my spouse. I want my spouse
to want me to come home, not want me to stay away. I was listening
to a preacher, and this is the only good thing he said. It was
an awful message. And this has been several years
ago. I was listening to it on the radio. And the guy said, you
women that are talking about, why did my husband want to come
home tonight? Because you're there. Oh, OK. I don't want to be somebody like
that, do you? I want somebody that my wife
can't wait to see me. And I want her to be somebody
I can't wait to see and enjoy being around. That's what that's
talking about when it's talking about that benevolence and goodwill
do her. And I like that word do. I want you to turn with me to
1 Peter chapter three for just a moment. Verse seven, likewise ye husbands, dwell with
them according to knowledge. Now what does that, does that
just mean knowing the right stuff? You know it means more than that.
It means dwell with them according to love. According to love. And women, dwell with your husbands
according to love. But look what he says. Likewise
ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving
honor. unto them as unto the weaker
vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life." What a
blessing it is to be married to a child of God. But what's he say next? That
your prayers be not hindered. Now, I hope we hear that. If
I'm not dwelling with my wife according to knowledge, scripture
says my prayers are hindered. Somebody says, explain that to
me. What's to explain? My prayers are hindered. The
Lord is displeased with that. That's how important this thing
of marriage is. Verse four, back to our text.
First Corinthians chapter seven. The wife hath not power over
her own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband
hath no power over his own body, but the wife, you belong to one
another. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent.
Now, if I withhold myself from my wife, or if she withholds
herself from me, that's called defrauding one another. That's
what God calls it, defrauding one another. Defraud ye not one the other,
except it be with consent, consensual, for a time, that ye may give
yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again, that
Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this
by permission, and not of commandment." Now, what in the world is that
name? Paul is saying, I'm not giving you a commandment about
this. I'm not saying stay apart for a while and then come back
together. This is not a command. There's
no command in the old Testament regarding this. I'm speaking
this by permission. I'm not giving you a commandment
concerning this. And here's, this explains this
more in verse seven, for I would that all men were even as myself.
If I gave a command for all men to be even as myself, guess what? There wouldn't be any babies.
There wouldn't be any children. And so there's different cases,
such cases. I mean, there's just so many
different variables. And he's saying, I'm not giving
you a command concerning this because if I gave a command concerning
this, there wouldn't be any babies. He says, for I would that all
men were even as I myself, but every man has his proper gift
of God, one after this manner and another after that. Now he's saying not everybody
has this gift. Few do, but you do have the gift
God's given you to serve his church. Read Romans chapter 12.
I mean, the gifts of the church are laid out clearly in Romans
chapter 12. Read that and study that on your
own. Verse 8, I say therefore to the unmarried and widows,
if you're not married and if you are widowed, It is good for
them if they abide even as I. You'd be better off not getting
married. Now, somebody single says, I
wouldn't be better off not getting married. A young person, well,
I understand you thinking that. That's very natural. I wouldn't
either. I wouldn't want to stay single, you know, in that sense.
But look what he says in verse nine. But if they cannot contain,
let them marry. For it's better to marry than
to burn. to burn with passion. And so
if this is something that if you remain single and are burning
with passion, you'd be better off getting married is what he's
saying. If they can't contain, let them marry for it's better
to marry than to burn, to burn. And then to the married, I command. Now this is a commandment. This
is not just good advice. This is a commandment. And to
the married, I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the
wife depart from her husband. This is the Lord's command. Do
not divorce. Do not divorce. That is the command of the Lord. But and if she depart, verse
11. A lot of divorce in there. But and if she depart. For whatever
reason, she thinks she can't stay in that relationship. Perhaps
she feels like it's an abusive relationship that she just can't
handle. It's toxic to her. But and if
she depart, that happens. But and if she depart, let her
remain unmarried. or be reconciled to her husband. Now, isn't that a blessing when
somebody goes apart and then they're reconciled? That's the best thing that can
happen. If you get divorced from your
spouse, best thing that can happen is for you to be reconciled to
them and to be married once again. And he says the same thing with
regard to the husband, let not the husband put away his wife. Now, divorce is wrong. You know that. And if you've
been divorced, you know it's wrong. And you know the heartache
that you've gone through over a failed relationship. And there's
so many problems behind it. And I want to be sympathetic
towards somebody. I mean, I don't want to be, oh,
you know, I think it's amazing, particularly in Baptist churches,
If somebody's a drug dealer, let's make them a preacher. And
if somebody's divorced, stay away from them. That's ridiculous. It's not right. But the fact of the matter is,
God said he hates divorce. Never look at it as even an option. Now that's the only way to look
at it. Verse 12, but to the rest speak
I, not the Lord. Now he's saying there's no, he's
not saying this is not inspired. He's saying, I don't have a commandment
of precedent from the Old Testaments to bring up about this. But here
is what I say. If any brother hath a wife that
believeth not. That's a difficult situation.
to be in a marriage where the wife does not believe. And she be pleased to dwell with
him. Now don't miss this language.
She's pleased to dwell with him. She loves him being her husband. She's not going to make his life
miserable over the gospel, he believes. She's pleased to dwell
with him. She enjoys him being her husband. Don't you put her away. Don't
you divorce her. She's your wife. A marriage is
not dissolved under such situations. If she be pleased to dwell with
him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath a husband
that believeth not, if he be pleased to dwell with her, he
enjoys being her husband. He finds her to be a good wife.
He admires her. He finds it pleasurable to be
her husband. He's pleased. Don't leave him. You stay with
him. You stay faithful to him. Now, this word pleased is very
important. If your unbelieving spouse hates
your gospel, hates you, makes your life miserable, let them
go if they want to go. That's what he's going to say.
You know, a brother or sister is not in bondage in such cases. Verse 14, for the unbelieving
husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife
is sanctified by the husband. Now you know that's not talking
about the sanctification of salvation. You know that as well as I do.
But that's talking about this is something that God has blessed.
Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled. You're
in a position that God has put his blessing on. He set marriage
apart. He's the one who's done this.
And you're in a good position in that sense. For the unbelieving
husband is sanctified by the wife. He's much better off being
with her. And the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband.
He's a lot better off being with her under God's protection. Else were your children unclean.
But now they're holy. They're under the bombs of marriage. If the unbelieving depart, if
they're not pleased to dwell with you, if they hate your God,
if they hate your gospel, if they hate you because of what
you believe, and there's nothing but trouble and turmoil, if they
depart, let them depart. Let them depart. What's he say? A brother or sister
is not under bondage in such cases. but God hath called us
to peace. Now what that means is you're
free to be married again to somebody else. You won't be committing
adultery in doing that. You're free to be married again. But I love the way he talks about
such cases. Every situation is different,
isn't it? It's different. You and I don't
know the dynamics behind everything. He says, in such cases like this,
the brother or sister is not under bondage. They're free to
marry again without it being an adulterous situation. And then I love the way he says,
God had called us to peace, not wretchedness, not continual strife,
where somebody despises the gospel and despises the God you believe,
the Christ you trust, God has called us to peace. Verse 16,
for what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband?
Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? Now,
obviously, this does not mean that I can save, eternally save
somebody. You can't eternally save somebody. That's beyond your ability. But he's talking about what Peter's
talking about in 1 Peter 3. Would you turn back there again?
1 Peter 3. Likewise, ye wives, Be in subjection to your own
husbands. And here he's talking about an
unbelieving husband. He's not talking about a believing
husband. He's talking about an unbelieving husband. And he says to the wife,
be in subjection to him. Perhaps you weren't a believer
when you were first married, and the Lord has saved you, and
now he's your husband. And you can't change that relationship.
There it is. I've even heard of people that
when they become converted, they think that, well, I need to,
and they've left their original wife, they think I need to get
back to her. No, you don't. Don't think anything like that.
But he tells these wives to be in subjection to your own husbands,
that if any obey not the word, They don't believe the gospel,
they may also, without the word, be won by the
conversation of their wives. Now that does not mean that they
never hear the gospel. There's no salvation apart from
hearing the gospel. But they see through the way
their wives, look what grace has done for her. Look what a
person she is. There must be something to what
she believes. Maybe he'll listen again, because
of the way you have conducted yourself. He actually talks about
being one without the word. Now, don't think for a second
the way we conduct ourself doesn't matter, because it does. And
this is a beautiful example of that, where he says to these
wives, be subject to your own husbands. They may be one. without
the word while they behold your chaste conversation, coupled
with fear, the fear of God, the respect of God, the awe of God,
where they see you fear him more than you fear man. They see your
reverence for Him, and you're all of Him, and they see you're
afraid to look anywhere but Christ. That's what they see about you.
They see that you won't look anywhere but Christ, and that
He's all you have. They see that. They behold that. The people who really know you
are the people who live with you. They're the ones who really know
you. Who's adorning? Verse three, let it not be that
outward adorning of plating the hair and wearing of gold or putting
on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart. And that which is not corruptible,
even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the
sight of God of great price. Don't you love that description
of the new man? That meek and quiet spirit that's
not even subject to corruption. That's talking about the new
nature, not even subject to her corruption. For after this manner
in the old time, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned
themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands, even
as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him, Lord, whose daughters you
are, as long as you do well, are not afraid with any amazement.
Likewise, you husbands, we've already dealt with this, well
with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as
unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of
life, that your prayers be not Now, that tells me, both husbands
and wives, if I am not treating my spouse as I should be treating
them, my prayers are hindered. Somebody says, tell me what all
the implications of that are. I don't know, but it doesn't
sound good, does it? I want my prayers to be heard,
and I want my prayers to be answered. I don't want my prayers to be
hindered. Back to our text in 1 Corinthians
7. But as verse 17, but as God hath
distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called everyone,
so let him walk. Are you married? Walk in marriage. Ask the Lord to give you the
grace to be the best husband or the best wife to ever live. Ask the Lord to give you the
grace to honor him in your marriage. Well, my husband doesn't. Hold
on. You don't worry about your husband
right now. You worry about you. My wife doesn't. Let's don't
worry about your wife. You worry about yourself. May
the Lord give us grace to honor him in our marriages. And somebody that's gone through
a divorce, don't judge them. It's horrible. They hate it. It's a difficult thing. And with
regard to, forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Just on and on. Forgive. That's the most God-like
thing you and I can ever do is to forgive people. Whatever it
is, how easily could you be in a worse condition apart from
the restraining grace of God? Whatever it is, you'd be worse. Do you believe that about yourself?
Whatever it is, whatever condition, whatever anybody's going through,
you would be worse. And the only reason you're not
is not because of some moral superiority on your part, it's
because God prevented it. And that is the only reason. And we believe that. Aren't you
thankful salvations of the Lord? I'm so grateful for that. And
I'm so grateful for marriage. I'm so grateful for someone who's
single, that they can attend on the Lord without distraction.
There's so much in this, and I hope the Lord will give us
Grace to adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in our marriages,
in being single, in whatever place we're at, so let him walk. And Paul says, I'm not saying
this just to the church at Corinth, so ordain I in all the churches. This is the instruction for all
the churches of the New Testament. Let's pray. Lord, how we thank you that.
You're on the throne. How we thank you that you move
in mysterious ways. Your wonders to perform. That
you plant your footsteps on the sea and ride upon the storm. Lord, we know that blind unbelief
is. Sure to air and scan your works
in vain. Lord, give us the grace to trust
you completely. We pray that you'd give us the
grace to honor you in whatever state we're in, whether it be
married, single. Lord, give us the grace to honor
you and how we thank you for the instruction of your word
and how we need your grace. So bless us, bless each one of
us individually for Christ's sake as we Prepare ourselves
to observe your table. Lord, we remember that our all
in salvation is the life, the death, and the resurrection of
your son. We are so thankful that this preaches the gospel once
again to us that salvation comes only through the life, the death,
and the resurrection of your son, and it's a complete salvation. In Christ's name we pray, amen.